Q IPIIBLICATION. • The EIRLDItORD IMPORTS& is published eirer7 Thursday morning by GOODRICH &HITCHCOCK, at One Dollar par annum, In advance. j Advertising In all cases exclusive of sub , err pdon to the, paper. SPECIAL NCiTlCESinserted at Tax CU Taper line for first insertion, and Mx CSNTB perline for each suesepentitlClrtion, but no notice inserted for less than fifty cents. YE I.RLY A.O VC SPISEHENTS willbeinsert• ed at reasonable rates. Aim Ms:more and Executor's Notices, 12; A.O Boni Notices,.SOl Business Cards, Ore lines, (per - year) IS, additional lines $1 each. Yearly mivertisers are entitled to quarterly b tinges. Transient advertisements must be paid for in advance. All resolutions of associations; cOmumniestions of Maned or individual interest, and notices of marriages or deaths, exceeding five ilnesare charg ed Ws CNSTS per line, tont simple noticesof mar r lakes and de .the will be published urithontcharge. The HIPORTga having a larger circulation than 40 other paper I n the county, makes •it the best advertising onedintn In Northern Penagivania. JOB PRENTING of every kind, in plain and fancy colors,donts with neatness and dispatch. /1312 wills, Blanks, Cards, Pamphlets, Bilitteads, 'State:nents, he., of every v ariety and style,printed at-the shortest notice. The HSPORTER office Is well supplied with power presses,* good assort ment of now type. and everything In the printing ae can be executed In the most artistic manner nd at the lowest rates. TERMS INVARIABLY C ASH . usiness barbs. D AVIES, & HALL,- ATTOIINSYS - AT - LA II, SOUTH SIPE OF WARD HOUSE Dec 23-'75 BUqIK.,. ATTORA'E T-AT-LAIV, Nnv.13'79.. TOWANDA, PR A'N' A Office—At Treasurers Office, In Court House A BEVERLY SMITII CO„ • -BOOKBINDERS, , And dealers In ;Fret Saws and Amateurs' Sappltes. Seta for pylee,llsts. WEPOUTEU Boa 1511.-Towanda, Pa. 31 . reh 1, 1881. 1 - 4 1 L. HOLLISTER, D. D; S., IL • `DEtiTIST. :;oceessor to Dr. E. Angle). OFFICE—Second floor of-Lir. Prattli oflice. ,lauuiry 6, 1681. A rADILL & KINNEY„ . , . . A- ATTonsEvs.AT-Lew.° Office—Rooms foriuerly occupied by T. SI. C. A. Reading Room. _ ii. J. 'IADILL. . - 3,16,50 =O. li. KINNEY. J 0113! W. CORDING; • AT TOtqiET-A.I4.Aw,,tOWANDA, PA, t).lice over kirtty's Drug Store. aOMAS E. MYER 11 A DrOIiNEY4T-LAW, IVYAI:I7•3IN . G, rENN'A Particular attention paid to business in the-Or phan,' Court aid to the settlement of estates. • September 25, 1979. PECK & ovERTo - s, ATTOUNEYS-AT I,LW, • r TOW AX 1)A, A. IrA. Orstrros, BENJ. M. PECK TIODNEY A. AIERCUR, ATTOUNEY AT-LAW, TOW AN DA. PA., Solicitor of Patents.. Particular attention paid to to... Bless lu the Orphans Court and to the settle ment of estates. ,take in Montanyes Block May 1, '79. OVERTON & SANDERSON, ATTOT:KY-A.* - LAW TOWANDA. PA. E. ko rtnros, in N i r IL JESSUP, ;T V • ATTORNEY AND COrNSE:LLOR-AT - LAW, NiONTROSE. PA.. ! I u ige „leggup having resbutod the praCtice of the law itt Northern Pennsylvania, will attend to any I egal It,iness fntrusted to hinLin Bract`lorit county. Pet - ions Wishing to consult :him, can call on ht.. St reeler.. Esq.. Towamta, when an appointment can he male. HENRY STREETER, ATTORNEY AND COUNSELLIIII-AT-LAW, TOWANDA,PA. Fe l, 27, '79 l'i L HILLIS, 1 L. Jo ATTORNEY-AT-LAW, TOWANDA, PA. lIIBANI E. BULL, sravElion. I:7;4IINEERING. SI'ItVEYING AND DRAFTING. ~t llCe with U. F. Mayon, over Patch & Tracy , :dreet, Towanda. Pa. ELSBREE & SON, A TTOEN Eti TONN'A N 1) A. P-A,;-'l.: N. C. ELSBILEE PAIN W: MIX AT rtiIINEY-AT-LAW AND U. COMMISSIONER, ToWANDA. PA. Side Public Square.. • Jan. 1,1875 .. 1 ANDIIt , 'W WILT, - ty • 1 . 4 ATTI, , RN El'-AT-1 V. 1 ' ( Mee—Meau,' Block, Mata-M.,over J. L. Rent's st..)r,, l',.'waa - : . May be cot:1E411LO I u German. r April 12,'76.), 1! CO - LNG, , • TTonS TOWA'SDA, PA 71.2s—Nlereur Ill.ck..Parkstreet, up stairs • plt. S. M. WOODBURN,. Physi / clan add. Surgepn.' Office at residence, on :411:ti street. ii-ts,t door le,rrh of M. E. Church. T.. 0. Al: :a, April 1, - ISSI. : .- _ . J. ' vir B. KELLY,DENTIsT.—Office I . over.M. E. ito,entieliPs; Towanda. I'a. .Teeth In‘erted on liol.l, Silver. Rubber, and Al tunitun ha , e. •Teeth extracted idthout pain. 4)rt.34-72. ______ 4 D. I'AYNE , M-. D. A• • I'ItYSIeIA! AND SU I IIGEON. - - I -1 ();1,,e over Montanyes' Store. Office hours from 10 - . to 12 A. m„ and :front 2 to 4 P.M. Special attention given to . DISF.ASES? ._ S , DISFAS. F.'S ,lir and or Tii F. EVES . VIE ~4111 11 L. LAMB, Ve - A TrfilLvE nv.T-I,A TV, l Sprth Franklin•si., Wilkes-Barre, Pa . Si , cial attention given to collections In T.nzerne a::4 coonties. licierettres: lion. P. Ni..rrow ; First National Bank, Towanda. AIRS. F..c.7-.t. 71:ACIIERCtr Ara, ORGAN. Oven In Tlinrongli sp..c and liar:tinny I atl,.nnf thevoiee a kpcelalty. I,neated at J. P \'.i 'I Stan. Street. Reference Mime. PAssage. Towanda., P.,.51 arch 4, 188(1. fl W. Ita" AN , VI • COeNTYSUPEICINTEVDE. ItTlre Clay last Saturday of each tnablh -over Turner tl..,llott'A Drug Store, Towanda, Pa. T Rwanda, June 20. 1875. C ., S. RUSSELL'S GENEItAL INSURANCE A GENCY TOWANDA, PA. Vay2A-7ett IIDWARD'WILLIAMS, PI:At:TWA L PLUMBER & GAS FITTER Place of business. a feu; doors north of Post-Orrice Plumbing, Gas Fitting, Repairing Pumps of all Innis, and ail kinds of timlttin.o , promptly atteruleil tn. All wanting work in his line sbnuld a • all. . Dec...l. 1879. I: 4 1 111ST NATIONAL BANK, TOWANDA, PA APITAI, PAID IN SURPLUS FUND... Tak Bank offers unusual facilities fOr the trans sci ion of a general banking buslnva, N. N. BETTS, Cashier. JOS. rowELL, President HENRY HOUSE, n!.ISNIR 11A11 4 .1 t WASH/NGTON STREETS Vilna W•RD, TbwAYD•, P♦ tit-ats afall hours. Terms to salt the times. Large stable attached. W M. IIinTRY, Paoraiwron Towanda, Jolly 2. •79-t y 4, I usQuEILAN NA Comzenkrz-IN _l tiTITCTIC.—FI IfST WINTER. TElt will cam- M.INIIAY, oCT. 31, ISSI. Expenses for n.d. tuition awl farnigled room, from . '172 to `o p , f . eatllogne or further particu t adelliss the - Principal, Tuur.is, July EMITS X. 9ITINII.AIF. A X 7. VOLUME XLIT, A. D. DYE & CO. TOWANDA, PA. Fall & Winter, 1881. ATTENTION IS INVITED to Our first-class Heating Stoves. j • • They are too well known to require any commendation— . New Heela, BURNERS, the best of their dos in the 71' market, and well adapted-for supplying a de . mand for an- efficient but . inexpensive heating stove. 4 ariety BEAD "THIS: SE 4 e 300 °VII Happy Thought Ranges J011:1 F. SANDEISRON A. D. DYE & CO. Wood Cook Stoves, CARRIA.fiENIAKERS' AND (novll-75 ECARLD WARE. MAIN STREET, TOWANDA L.Etsnuts SELLING OUT 3SCARE)vvAnE, STOVES, WAONMAKERS' 11123,000 • 75,000 ICOODRICH I H TCHCOCK. Publishers. 1 -• Novertispututs. Westminster l , Crown- Jewell. We also have a line of 'CHEAP BASE NVOOD HEATING STOVES in great Sold in Towanda and vicinity by • A LARGE STOCK 0-F MMI 13LACKS14IITFIS' SUPPLIES, And a general stock.of Towab,4, October MI AT COST! I IR, 0 , NAILS-NAILS TINWARE, ---AND--- BLACKSMITHS' SUPP LIE S. The Entire Stock of the late firm of Mclntyre Brothers must be closed out at Cost within Thirty Days, by the.' purcha- ser. Goods recently bought at Sheriff's sale. JAS. S. KUHN. ands, Jij!y 11k 1881-mi THE NEW ,DOCTRINE. BY WILL CABLIITON There's come a singular doctrine, Sue, Into our church to-day; These curiae words are what the new Young preacher had to say.l _ That literal everlastin• lire - Was mostly In our eye ;, That done!, dead, If they desire, Can got another try; He doubted Ha warmer clithe Than this world could be proved; ..The little snip—l fear some time _ He'll get his doubts removed: I'Ve watched my duty straight an' true, An' tried to do It well ; Fart of the time kept haven in Tiew, An' part steered clear o' hell ; An' row half of this work Is naught, If I must list to him, An' this 'ere der!! I have fought . dwss On:y just a whim, Vain are the dangers have braved, The sacrifice they st ; For what fun Is ft to saved, . 1 If no one - else Is lost? • - - Just think !—Supriose,_vrhen once I vie The heaven I've tolletTi - oVVIn;-' . A lot of unsaved sinners; too, Come walking grandly In I Au' acts to drone, same as If they • Mitres] their titles clear, An' looks at me, as If to say, " We're glad to see you here . - As if to say, " While you have; been .1 So fast to toe the mark,. ' • • We waited till it rained, an' then • I Got tickets for the ark Yet there would be some In that crowd I'd rather like to see : 3ty boy Jack—lt must be allowed Tti.-re was no worse than he! I've always felt somewhat to blame, In several different ways, That he lay down on thorns o' shame To end his boyheod's days ; An' I'd be willln` to endure, It that the Lord thought best, A minute's (Mite hot term erature, 'To clasp him to my breast. Old Captain Barnes was evil's son.— With . heterodoxy eratumed-- , . I used to think he'd beiho one If any one was . danthed ; • ' Still, when I Saw aid ck• poor, 'f That.he had clothed and fed, - Cry desolately round his door, 1. As soon as he was dead, • There came a thought Icouldn't contra], That In some.nentral laud, like to meet that scorched•up foul, Au' shake It by the hand. Poor Jennie Willis, with a - cry - Of hopelessness, and distress, Sank sudden down, one night. to die, All In her bali•romn dress; •She bad a precious little while To pack - up an' away ; She even left her sweet good smile— `Twas on the face next day; , . Her soul went oil unclothed by even - One stitch of saving grace flow valid she hope to go to heaven, • An , start from such a place? - But once. when I lay. nick an' weak, She came, and beggedlb stay; kissed my faded, wrinkled cheek— She soothed ray pain away 4, She brought me sweet bognets of flowers As fresh as her ,young heart— Through many long and tedious hours She played a Christfan I7A rt ; An' ere I long will srand'aronn' .The singln` saints among, try to take some water down, -To cool poor Jennle's tongue. • =Ent tears can never quench my creed,, • -; Nor smooth God's rlghteous frown, Though all the preachers learn to read Their Bibles upside ' 1.2101 thine uptight side with care To slAeld my oyes from Mn, An' coax the Lo d; with daily prayer, To call poor wanderers lu ; - i3iit If the binners won't draw nigh, Are take salvation's plan, - 'll have to stand and . sCe 'cm to , To dodge hell if they can. SOLVING A MYSTERY. - The hair of :all Twiddleton stood on end witk'escitement. A•box con- . taining the dismembered skeleton of a man had been dug up in the cellar of an old houSe back of the hotel, and, until the mystery thereof was solved, no inhabitant of Twiddleton could enjoy an hour's mental repose. - - . Business was neglected in Twid- Alleion. Men congregated at corners to discourse upon the ;all-absorbing topic, and women lefttheir ;dinner pots to boil fßer_while they discussed the mystery above their yard fences. Still no one _had taken ;any actual steps to, the discovery ofthe murder er, until Mr. Soloinon.!Slocum announcedliiii intention of tak ing the matter inhand.L . ' . If anyone . per - Ftsinnetent for this tAik", it vritS,olomon; Slocum., There -had i hover been .ft Mystery in Twid dleton that he had not ferreted oat; never i secret act - oft lawlessness, froM the burning of 'Squire Renni's barn to the; tying Of al cat to Miss Skinner's brass do'or•knocker, but he hadiSucceeded in identifying-the cul pr. He also interested himself in ma\ter of 'a more private and-inno cent. nature. He knew the history oflevery family in the country; had . •ertained the age of every single lady,land wtio wore false hair and, teeth ; and when a silk' dress had been dyettand made over. ; ; -• Slocum went ;to Rork in ti i very methodical manner., First;.-he ascer tained froin corporation deeds that the house containing - the mysterious cellar'(no•W occupied by an estimable single lady, who had fainted on'the discovery that she had been "living over a dead man ") bad 'been built nearly 100 - ,years ago by an-rincester of -theHarker family. :Thereupon; a shadow tell upon the Illarkers,.and several persons were led thedis ; coVery that they haft:alwilys;seemed a. sly and underhand see. Job Har ker' however, proved that the hOtnte bad been sold some twenty years after its ceinnleton to Capt. Womble, whereupon the Wombles -came in for a share of the shadow. Tom and his father then came forl! ward, the fortrierwith a horse-whip and the latter with a paper, which nroved that in the days . of the Worn -. • ble"S•occupancy of the house no cel lar had existed •within it. Following this clew, Solomon Slo cum, after much investigation, sue ceded in satisfying himself that the cellar in meet was - excavated. in..the year 1845, ,just after the property had passed into' the h4pds of the BOwans. EEO This discovery, of course, nt once placed that family _under a ban of suspicion.. Solomon, wtrose only son, Joe, had long been paying particular attention to pretty ; Jessie Bowan, found himself not proof against the general prejudice. 'No tilocum,' be remarked, with virtuous resolution, 'shall marry' . into TOWANI4, BRADFORD COUNTY, PA., THURSDAY MORNING, DECEMBER 8 :1881. a family in whose veins runs the black blood of a murderer.' • And_ though it was not, evident to the hearers of this speech that the blood of a murderer must necessarily be black, they nevertheless approved of the sentiments. 'The case having been narrowed down to t this p'int,' observed Solo mon, looking gravely around upon an interested audience in the tap room of the hotek"to the year "45,' it remains for us tb discover what men folks hey onaceountably and mysteriously disappeared since that date; and to ascertain, if possible, what relations the missing men had with any of the I3owans.' ' 'Thar was the Yankee notion•ped dler,' suggested Slocum's particular chum, who kept the store and post office opposite. 'He.' was missiu' more'n three weeks.' • 'FIiS body was found and decently buried,' Slocum replied. - • 'Then that swell Chap who was so flush &greenbacks,' said another. • 'Bogus. T'o • wonder he mysteri ously disappeared—with the police after him' 4 Afiem "The young student that passeld a month here ko your father's time. You must reniember that be left here in. a mighty sudden and un accountable way, and to my knowl edge never was heard of ag'in.' - 'To be sure, to be sure l' assented Slocurn;. his eyes speaking as he found himself possessed of this valu able clew., - 'Drewry was his name. A golly young chap lie seethed to. be. Plenty &money, too, I recollect.' He hurried away home; and speed ily returned with certain massive and i well-worn volumes, which proved to be ledgers and account books of his_ late father, while landlord of the inn The present proprietor of that tab!ishment,, Capt. Grasty, leaned over his shoulder and watched with interest as he ran his finger down certain pages, stopping occasionally -to read. 'Here it is!' .exclaimed Slocum, 'Allan Drewry—Aug. 10, 1848. The cellar was built in '45,' he added, significantly looking around..! • Lor'!' exclaimed Mrs. 0 ras ty,ad vancing from the kitchen,where she had been an interested oserver of those proceedings, 'why, Lor't 1 remember Mr. Allan Drewry; I. was a gal at that time, and he sort o' made up to me.' Solomon looked slowly around the circle and solemnly shodk his head. ALook . here, Slocum,' said Captain Grasty, still running, ~his eye down the page; 'what's this? ''Paid John Bowan CI, first quarter's rent of his cellar." '!Why, what. had Chris Slo cum to do with that cellar ?' Slociirn7s eyes expanded. He rub bed his spectacles and stared intent ly at the fatal words. 'IL—I don't believe 'twas that eel- lar,' he gasped: 'Couldn't have , been any other. rust across the-baCk yard here, with a doorin the wall between. Conve nient to the house, you see.' 'You don't mean to insinuate,' said Solomon, turning upon him with a white face, that my . father had any thing to o with that—that affair?' . don't insinuate anything,' an swered the captain, with a shrug ; 'though I don't see how Chris Sio 7 cum was any_better than Old Wom ble or John Bowan.' Michael Lafferty, a sort of loafing character ef Twiddleton, here turned around from the bar, 'See here, cap'n, yez best,,pot mix. ould . men's name wid them dry bones beyant. He was may friend; he 'was,:an' I'll stall' by him an, his. Ad' see here,lt's bet ther to', let out the truth. The ould man wanted the cellar-forstorage.' 'What kind of storage . 'Whist, thin! Don't ye mind when. the revenue officers was . down 'here ; eounld n't find d rap - o' the stuff !nit what wasn't straigh? But; be dad! they niver looked iri the cellar beyant.' - - believe itl' cried Slocum savagely. . • - But be saw that every one around him did:credit the man's statement. His respected father dealing in il licit whisky and cheating the reven ue! eyes with his neighbors' eyes bent upon him; seemed to be shrinking to half his natural size, remember when the revenue of ficers used!to hang 'around here -in disguise,'' said one man: .- -'An idear strikes me,' said another. 'What if -this - young fellerDrewry, you call liiin--:-was - oLe of 'em, and— and,' keeping!one eye half fearfully fixed upon Slocum, 'ferreted out that cellar and never came - 'hut For a week after this an awful calm of- suppressed horror brooded over Twiddleton, People- were appalled at the heinous crime which the in vestigationS: of Solomon Slocum brought to light. '7 , There could be no doubt-upon the subject'; for on a close examination, -a hammer-had been found under the bones in a ,bag,plainly branded with Christopher Sloeum's initials. Poor Solomon' Slocum! - bow -his glory bad departed! mould that he bad never :interfered with - what had not concerned hitn, - He 'son. of a murderer, and 'his son t o bear forever the dark blot Of, that stigtna. Jahn Bowan had 'forbidden his daughter to receive the young man's attentions, thmigh Jessip cried, 'and declared that-she did not see - why Joe should suffer for a sin not his own. • 'One day, about six months after these events, a well dressed, jol'y looking, elderly gentleman stopped at the Eal.le Hotel. As the servant took bis horse, he look around curi ously at the transformed- house°i►nd its new sign. A group of idlers were collected, as usual, on the long, low piazza, and there listened with inter est to what was said. `Place improved since r was here, somedlve and twenty years ago. Who is till landlord now ?' 'Myself;sir; Thomas Grasty,' res poncied the host with dig,nity.: - 'Ab! what has beeonieof old Chris Slocum P ... • 'Dead, sir, years ago. That's :hs son,'.poipting to a seedy and dejeet= ed looking individual passing sloiVly along the street. -,,, • . .. . • 'Sol? . Not like this - Strapping young'cbap'l remember.' • . .±. t. 1, 1 BROARDLESS OF DBMINOIATIOR FROM ANY QUARTER} I I _ _ 'Air,sir, he's had enough to change him.' And, in accordance with his now established habit, Cat•tain Grasty re galed his guest with the whole story of the discovery of the ghastly re mains in . the cellar. To his utter astonishment, the gen tleman, after listening attentively, broke into uncontrollable laughter. 'So they accuse poor old Chris of robbery and murder, do thee' 'Undoubtedly the young.man was murdered, sir.' . 'Perhaps not. I am Dr. Allan Drewry; no ghost, but, as you see, substantial, living flesh. Ha, ha!' = In less than an hour the news had spread through the village like wild fire. Everybody knew the, story; how Allan Drewry, Wben about to commence his medical studies, had, by his unconquerable disposition to 'Ain and flirtation,' got himself into a- serious scrape: with a lady 'of un certain age who unflinchingly, claim ed to be his promised bride ; and how - tier . determined middle-aged brother had discovered him in his vacation retirement at. ,Twiddleton, whence he;had escaped at a moment's notice, leaving his , effects to be for warded by the sympathizing landlord, whom he had taken into his confi 7 deuce. - Among, these effects was 'a certain skeleton, which the embryo medical student had filched from a neglected burial ground near the village. Chris topher Slocum had been afraid to send this on with the rest of ,the 'effects' and had hidden in the Bowan cellar,, lightly covered . . over with earth. It was wonderful how pleased peo ple were at this late revelation of Chris Slocum's innocence, and his son's and grandson's freedom from the stigma which hal weighed so heavily upon them. So they hasten ed to make all the reparation in their power for the injustice they had been guilty of;' and Joe's and Jessie's wedding was quite a grand affair in Twiddleton. 'lt's always best to let either folk's consarns alone, and mind your own; is the moral now carefully inculcated by Solomon Slocum upon the tender minds of his grandchildren. A Bold Stroke. 'No; I refuse.' 'Reflect a moment, Myrtle, I be seech you I You hold my life and happiness in your hands;' and the voice of Adelbert Tompkins tretubled as he spoke 'theie =words with an earr-estness that forbade, even for an instant, any doubt as to their be ing the outpourings of his heart. Myrtle Mahatl; was a beautiful girl, just budding :nto sweet woman hood, and Adelbert loved her dearly. They had wandered together this summer aftefnoon from the matinee to the streetcar, and he had asked her'to be his wife. It was in answer to this question—the earnest appeal of a man whose . whole nature was wrapped up in , a passion he could neither control or cast aside—that Myrtle had 'spoken th.e,words with' which our story opens. She d, ha watched him closely during an ;ac quaintance of nearly two years, and noticed with pain how he sedulously avoided candy stores and ice cream saloons. can never marry a man,' she had said to her mother one day, 'who shies at the sight of a candy store like a country horse at a fire engine.' . And when the expected avowal came she had kept her word. Adelbert turned 'around inra dazed sort of a way. after Myrtle - had re jected him, and walked swiftly to ward the dry goods store which had been so fortunate as to secure his services. All the afternoon. Adelbert stood moodily behind the ribbon counter thinking of how he could revenge himself on the naughty girl who had wrecked his happiness. At precise. ly four and a half o'clock a fierce joy lighted up his countenance, Nand putting on his hat he left the Store. * * * As the bells of SLAgries' church were strikibg nine, a young man sprang Ughtly up the steps_ o - f -a rn-ag nifiCent residence, and:was . soon seat ed-in the sumptuously furnished Par lor: The proprietor of the house, a benevolent-looking old - . gentleman, entered the room. 'Do you wish to see me?' ; he said to Adetheft Tomp kins—for it was he who had sprung lightly up the steps. he replied,'you are the per son I seek.' - . • 'What would you?' said ,the 7, old gentleman. * - 'You are the cashier in- the bank, .1, b e li e v e ?' said • t . he' youpg man... - - ' anf.' • 3 ;oil have been stealing the con cern's money. Do not seek to deceive me. You are a cashier; 'tis enough. Give me $20,000 or I will expose you and ruin your life. Having heard me twitter, you can choose your. own course." _ For an instant the cashier did not move, and then going to an elegant escritoire which stood in the corner' of the room, he wrote a check for $50,000, certified it, and handed the piece of paper, now a foitune, to the youth. have but one- favor to ask,' he said, 'and that is that yoti will marry my daughter. I wouldn't like to let a sure thing as you go out of the family. She has $lOO,OOO in her own right, and when I am dead and the bank directors are in jail on account of my bookkeepini; it will suffice to : keep you in comfort.' Two months later Myrtle Mahaffy, the cashier's only child, became Adel bert's bony bride. One child, a blue eyed boy with golden hair, has bless. ed the union, and as he sits on his grandtather's knee in front of the fire, and asks in hikinimeent, child ish way if 'papa gill, a smart man,' the old gentleman -kisses him fondly and says in soft, low tones : 'You're singing on_ the right key, now,sonny.' . --Chicago Tribune. Even man has in, his -own life follies enough ; in his-own mind tumble enough; in his fortunes enough, without being en lione;after the affairs of others, Examples of Southwestern Veracity. While waiting for a jury Judge Cary, of Arkansas, after listening to some dog stories said : 'These are curious yarns, gentle men, but I believe them all. 1 had a dog, once, back in Nebraska, that I kept to herd lumber. • 'Beg pardon, judge; but did you say the dog herded lumber?' 'Yes, sir, cottonwood boards. We always kept a dog there to , bring the lumber in at night.' Everybody now paid the closest attention, as they knew.that the boss was at work., 'lt was• his way. Cottonwood boards warp like thunder in the sun. A board would begin to hump its back up about nine in the morning, and in half an hour it' would turn over. By eleven it would warp the other way with the heat, and make another flop. Each time it turned it moved a couple of feet, always following the sun to ward the west. The first summer I lived in Brownville, over ten thousand feet of lumber skipped out to the hills the day before I had advertised a house raisin'. I went to the county seat to attend a lawsuit, and when 1 got back there wasn't a stick of lim ber left. It had strayed away into the uplands. An ordinary board would _ciimb a two-mile hill during a hot Inek, and when it struck the timber it would keep wormin' in and out among the trees like a garter snake. Every farmer in the State had to keep shepherd dogs to 0119 w his lumber around the r .country, keep it together, and show where it was in the morning. We didn't need any flumes there for lumber. We sawed it east of the place where we wanted to use it, and let it warp itself to its destination ; with men and dogs - to head it off at the right time, we never lost a stick.' -' Hunk's grocery, says the New Oz leans Times, is situated on the edge of a prairie iu southern Texas and on Sunday qqlte a crowd used to meet Vlore. ne Sunday Lem Will iams himself was seated in front of the store, when Bill Parker remitted : How's crop up youc way, Lem ?' - 'Well,' he replied, 'corn's sorter gin to tasselin g but the'sand is pow erful poor.' 'That seems to be the general com plaint,' remarked Bill. - 'Yes, this country ain't good for raisin' corn,' said Lem, as he took a fresh chew ; 'but if you want to see corn what is corn you just orter, go to Fort Bend. W hen I was farming on the Brazos in - that country, my corn grey so gall and thick that I had to hang amps on the mule's ears to see how to plough a furrow. It was corn and no mistake; and in the fall th - e stocks were so high . that I had to knock the ears with a. sassa fras pole. Darn my skin, the ears were so big that it took a strong man to carry more'n three of 'em at a time.' 'Speakin' about strong -men;' re • marked Bill Parker, 'sorter causes me to remember an old steamboat captain who used to run onithe Ya zoo river in '5B. One day he stopped at a landing for some wood, and the niggers were kinder slow about bringia'.it aboard. • Old Judkins, the captain, cussed everythin' in reach. Says he, - walkin' up to the woodpile whar the niggers were at work: "Pile on yer timber and'-let me show yer bow to carry wood," an' he stretched out his arms. Well, sir, the niggers , piled on the wood and kept pilin' un- til Judkins had a cord and a half of wood on his shoulders, and - he turned and carried it on the boat just as , easy as if, it was a bokay. He was what I'd 'call a purty tolerable stout man.' 'That reminds me of a man I used to know in Bedford county, Ala bamy; said a stranger named Tipper, who had been in the neighborhood but a . short time. All eyes were_ turned toward the speaker, and they began to size him. 'I guess old Pete Jennings,' continued the stranger, 'was shoat the hef Jest man in these United States, if I .ain't mistaken. You see, one day he was haulin' some fence posts in an ox. wagon, when the wheels began to creek like as if they needed greaSin'. He' looked' under the wagon for his tar bucket and found tt - warn't thar, and what do you spose he did ?' •I don't know,' growled Bill Park er and Lew Williams in chorus. 'Well, I'll just tell you what he did. Ile- propped up the axletree, tuk the wheel off, an' steppin' out in the woods he picked bp a pine knot, held it over -Ale axle and squeezed the tar outen- It., Old Pete Jennings -had a grip what beat a vise, you bet.' Effectual Temperance Lecture A youug man called,in company with several othergentlemen, upon a young lady. Her father was also present to assist in • entertaining the callers. He did not share his daugh ter's scruples against the use of spir ituous drinks for he had wine to offer. The wine was poured out, and wOuld have been drunk, but the young I'vly asked : I Did you call upon me, or upon imp?' Gallantry, if nothing else, compell ed them to answer : 'We called upon . you.' 'Then you -will please not drink wine; I have lemonade • for my .callers.' The . father urged the guests to drink, and they were undecided.. The young lady added : 'Remember, if you call upon me you • drink lemonade.; but i f upon papa, why, then, in that case, I have nothing to say.' lc The wine glasses were set down with their contents . untasted. After leaving the house one of the party exclaimed • 'That is the most effectual temper nnee lecture I have ever heard.'' The young man from whom_these facts were obtained.broke off at once from the use of strong drink, and is now a clergyman preaching temper ance and religion. He still holds in grateful remembrance the lady who gracefully and resolutely gave. him to understaud that her callers should not drink wine. 1\ , .They had a rettkot time in a little town in the northern part of this State last June as to who should be chief marshal of the day at the 4th of July celebration. The struggle finally narrowed down to two men, and when one was at length selected the other was of course boiling over with indignation. The lucky man looked down with lofty, disdain upon the defeated candidate, and he wouldn't even , let the _procession march past his house.' But , time is the great avenger. They had a rail road accident up'there one day last week, and the man who was defeated was rushing through the town_ in a certain,direction when he was halted by the chief marshal, who asked : " Anything happened ?" "Anything happened ?" repeated the other as he drew himsAf up. " Well, I should say so I" "What is it?" "Sir ! do yotk remember how yon scorned me last 4ti of July 1, Do you remember how you trid to shrivel me with a look as I stood on Babcock's corner to see the proces• sion ?" , _ "4 Well, I'd forgotten 1" " But I never forget, sir `• You were appointed chief marshal, and you crowed over Tye, bat my time has come I" HOw—what is it?" " What is it, sir? Why, sir, there has been a gigantic railroad accident down at the cross-roadssis cars off -;---freight all scattered around--engi neer scalded—conductor lying in a fence corner and track all torn up." " And where are you going?" "I sir? Sir, I have been deputized by a committee of our leading citi zens to proceed to the house of the Widow Dunn and say' to her that, her re.l caw was the cause of the ter rible disaster, and to call at the tele graph Office on my way back and send a despatch to 'Port Huron for the wrecking train ! Stand aside, sir! A 4th of July chief marshal is mighty small potatoes in SePtem ber!"—Detroit Free Press. A curiously interesting letter was published in the London Times a few days ago from Mr. Henry Bessemer, under the heading. 'A Billion Dis sected. ' The writer tries to convey to the ordinary mind some idea of what a billion modest 1, fol lowed by a dozen ciphers.' (This is by the English notation—a million millions,, or 1,000,000,000,600. In this country we use the French sys tem, which reckons on a thousand millions, or 1,000,000,000 as &billion. The English reckoning seems to be the more strictly correct.) He does this by means of illustrations drawn from familiar objects of thought and sight: The result is such as will sur prise many. Attentionis thus called to a billion as a measumatime, dis tance or weight. When we speak, for example, of a billion of seconds, we perhaps suppose that since the commencement of ' our era such a number had long since been meas ured out. .Arithmetic shows us, how ever, that we have not passed one sixteenth of that number-in all these long eventful years—for it takes just 31,687 years, 17 days, 22 hours, and 5 seconds. A billion of sovereigns would extend, when ranged side - by side ip piles of twenty feet high, so as tolorm two parallel walls,,a dis tance of 23871_miles;. or if placed on the ground so as to form one contin uous, chain by each sovereign touch ing the one.pext to-it., such it chain would enegele 0,6 : -,Li r earth 763 times. The •Weighi- 4 ofltt 'game sovereigns would* 6,97047 tons. As to alti tude, we are infortired that a billion of sheets of the Times 'super-imposed upon each other, and pressed into a compact mass, would- reach to a height of 47,348 miles.' Most read ers who follow such statements as these will be disposed to agree with Mr. Bessemer that 'a billion,is a fear ful thing, and that few can appreciate its real value;' and that 'as for quad rillions and trillions, they are , simply wordsarholly incapable of impressing themselves upon the human intellect. And yet one cannot help suggesting, what are even" these triffling comp-. tions as to time compared with eter nity ? We may well use such a word with awe. - THE Burlington Hawker e says d Mr. Robert Ingersoll's recent article " In treating those great problems o life Mr. Ingersoll has a fascinating and plausible way of stating things, but they certainly are as unphiloso phical)as they are untenable. Wa ter always runs down hill,' says Mr. Ingersoll. But it does not. Some times it runs up hillrand. we call it capillary attraction: : - We have a mode of explaininOtl3l-thcfattrac tion between , the - particles" of mobile matter and the inert,. matter of the tube in which the fluid rises. Mr. .Ingersoll would expisin it by saying that the fluid rises because it rises! That is certainly childlike and sim ple, but it is hardly in keeping with the role of a philosopher who propos es to dethrone a God—the God who is the designer and creator: of the e. universe. We not only find thatEMr. Ingersoll is mistaken in asserting 'Water always runs down hill: . but there is a wonderful process of na ture that even exceeds capillary ac tion. The life-bearing sap ascends the tree and carries with" it nourish ment that. sustains and enlarges the plant. The tree has.a system:of wa ter works that actually extends its own water mains. This phenomenon, we are told by Mr. . Ingersoll, hap pens because it happens! If that is not superstition that eclipses any thing of the kind so vehemently de • nounced by him, we do not know what superstition is. Its gene Sis is clearly traceable to the pagan belief that the world is sgFeat plane rest ing upon the NOS of four mighty oxen, and the oxen rests upon a large elephant.. What the elephant rests upon the pagan belief failed to state. Mr. Ingersoll goes one step further and affirms that the elephant rests upon himself." 131 How He Go 'Even. A Billion Dissected $l.OO air Annum In Advance. Some Electioneering Tricks When the Berwick freemen resi dent in London_were going by spa to vote, the masters who commanded the ships 'in which they embarked haVe been 'known to take such elec tors to Norway, on account of Such skippers being bribed to do so. The freemen of Ipswich appear also in the same way to have been taken_ to Holland. As the daughters of free men at Bristol conferred the right of voting on tbeir husbands, a trick de.: vised at one closely contested elec tion in that city was for the same woman to marry several , men. When the ceremony , was completed, and thd temporary husband had duly re corded his vote, the two shook hands over a grave in the church-yard, and said : 'Nbw death,us do part,' which waa considered a ',divorce, atter which the woman prOceeded to qualify an other husband at another church. At one place bribes were given by a mysterious individual known as the *Man in the Moon,' who approached at dusk in the evening, and was at once met with the question, 'What news from the moon ?' lay you 5 guineas,' said a celebrated canvas ser in Fox a contest of 1784, Wand stake the money in your own hands, that you will not vote for Mr. Fox.' 'Done !' says thO free and independ ent, and wins - his bet and bribe. Another plan was to buy the voter's canary at a price - which would have been fat too much fora bird of para dise. When 'Sheridan contested Westminster his opponeht brought up his unpaid creditors to bully him on the hustings. 'They censured him for having bought peas at two guineas and a half per quart (to make sure of 'a voter), while he was neglecting , their just claimh against .him and they hooted him accordingly. She Took. No Risks. " liay . ye any good piannies ?" she asked as she stepped into a piano ware-room on East Fourteenth street the other day, displaying a proliper ous looking pocketbook. "I want wan fur me .datter, who is comin' home from the serrietery wid a finish ed eddication." " What style of instrument do you prefer ?" said the clerk, displaying an upright. • "This piano is double- patent-quadruple-string- gollen -ham mer-rubber - rim =cracked -lounding boartilever-stay-in-tune an ' celluloid keys.' " Och ! never a'happoth do I care about the sheoile4 so long as it's , a strong case. Haye ye any wid iron, cases?" " - "'No, ma'am; but all our cases'are made extra strong." How much will ye take for that pianne ?" :" Four hundred dollars, ma'am." lA` Do ye sell on the slow-pay plan ?" "Yes, occasionally we „pelt to reli able purchasers on the instaltm'ent plan. The installment on - this piano, would be fifteen dollars a month." " Will ye throw in a cover and a shtule ?" " Hardly fair to ask it, ma'am but we will throw in those articles this time." " And a buk o' music ?" " Yes, we won't be mean about it." "Now, if ye'll insure the pianne, I'll take it."- " Well,'rea4y, ma'am, the purchas er usually insures the instrument, but to close the bargain, we'll insnre the piano afid agree to take all risks." "Ye see, betwane me and you," said ghg after she had made her mark of) the necessary papers -and. deposited the first installment receipt in her bosom, " I am glad to feel airy about thelinsurance, as•l want to get the bettei . av ould man, who took an oath thatif I brought a pianne into the house, he'd smash it . up wid an axe. An' faith he's the bi to do it the nixt toime he gets'dhrunli!": From the Cincinnati Musical People GREAT SITRKEN LAKE.—An Ore gon paper says : Several of our citi zens returned last week from the Great Sunken lake, situated in the Cascade mountains, about seventy five miles northeast from Jackson ville.--This lake rivals the famous valley of- Sinbad the Sailor. It is to to average 2,000 feet down to water all around. The depth of the water is unknown, and its surface is smooth and unruffled, as it is far below the surface of the mountains that air currents do not affect it. Its length is estimated at twelve or fif teen miles and its width ten or twelve. There is a mountain in the' centre having trees upon it. It lies still, silent and mysterious in the =bosom of the everlasting hills, like a huge well scooped out,.by the hands of the giant genii of the mountains in the unknown ages gone by, and around the primeval forests watch and ward are keeping. The visiting party fired a rifle into the water several times at an_ :tingle of forty-five degrees and were able to note several seconds of time, from the report of the gun until the :ball struck the water. Such seems incredible, but is vouched for by our most reliable citizens. .- The lake is certainly a most remarkable curiosity. , A Veritable " India-Rubber -- Man." . The strangest phenomenon wetave seen for a long time is now on view in Vienna. "Der Gummimensch," or the india-rubber man, is quite the queerest fellow imaginable. He is a pale, placid man, with red hair and a -billions complexion ; he wears black velvet knickerbockers, and is- very polite. 'He can seize the skin of his chest with both hands, purl it away from his body about eighteen-inches, and raise it to the level of his head ; and yet when he leaves go, instead of his skin hanging in horrid folds it goes spreading itself again, so that not a crease 'is to .be discovered. The skin of ibis nose he can stretch six inches, the skin of his ilniers_two inches, so that his hands look sizes Nos. 20 or 30. He drags at the calf of his leg and behold a goodly and translucent, membrane, in. which can be seen,thi ramified net-work of arte ries, pin& and pulsating. This does lIMPI NUMBER 28 not hurt him. He can—botomough. You see that he well deserves his ti tle of " Gummimensch." What with his cadaverous face and glue y elasti city he reminds one of Dore s ghast ly portrayal of the - damned in the grand illustrations of the "Inferno." The medical faculty are highly exer cised anent this man and they have begged hini for the smallest . strip of !skin just for a microscopical investi gation,- There has not been such a case for two centuries, and In those days. of course the microscope was rather primitive. " Gummimensch " is • a Bavarian, thirty-two years of age, married and has three normal children. He charges two florins to show himself. His skin feels like vel vet, or perhaps rather like the breast . f a picked fowl, but it is not a sweet sensation to touch him.—Vienna Correspondence London -Globe. WOMAN / 13 RIGHTS IN BUILMAH.- King Theetraw, of Burmah, the big gest bully and brute in the world, has at last found his matchin a wo man who can assert the - rights of her sex. The Queen was recently con fined of her third child, which proved a , daughter. . _ Now King Theebaw . desires to have an heir to the throne, and he resolved, therefore, like -Na poleon, to provide-himself with an- 1- other wife. Indeed. he - bettered Na poleon, for he took two new wives, one of them the granddaughter of the Kitn-Pat Menghee and the other . the daughter of a minor official. The Queen soon heard of this, and, as she was unable to- go to the King, she sent him a peremptory order to put away his new wives at once. King Theebaw replied that he should do nothing of th,-kind—that he-was tired of her Majesty inasmuch as she , only presented him with' daughters, and that .he was determined to free himself of her control and -to be a real King. Seven or eight days were passed in angry messages, but at the end of that time the Queen left her apartments and went to thoserof the King. Arrived there, she' seized the monarch, carried him off to her own rooms and locked him up with the baby - . She then went off and attend ed - -to affaini of state, her first act being , to cast the two new wives into prison and to have them heavily man acl4—London Vanity Fair. Fun, Fact and Facetiae. " YOU are now one," said the minister to the happy pair he had just joined to gether in a knot • that they could never undo. " Which one?" asked the bride. "You will have to settle .that for sour. selves," said the clergyman. curcAao - girl writes home from Dub lin : " The moment I set foot' on Irish soil I could observe that I attracted at tention." From what is said of Chicago feet, it is to be presumed they would at tract - attention if set upon any soil. A FRIEND, writing from San Leandro," California, tells the following : A cute lit tle five-year-old, whose parents were con nected with the Presbyterian Church. said : "Mamma, was Chrilt a Jew?" "Yes, dear," replied the mother. "Well, that is strange, now, isn't : it, mamma, when his father, God, was a Presbyteri an ?" A TRAIN parted in the middle, and the signal rope snapped oft like a thread, the end of it striking an old lady on the bon net. " " What is the matter?" "Oh, the train is broke in two;" replied a gentle man who sat in the next seat. "I should say so," the old lady said, looking at the broken cord. " Did they s'pose a little bit of string like that would hold the cars together ?' "I DECLARE, if there isn't the deacon's daughter out with a brand new shawl. Well, I never." "Hush !" .said a better informed female ; " 'dm% hers. It's one ' she borrowed from the company - that's visiting over t' the deacon's. " Well, there's. one thing I know. She can't de pend on borrowing to look well in heaven. She'll have to Wear- her own angel' plum age when she gets there." And they bowed-their heads us the minister opened the services. JOE ECKLES tells the following on the postmaster•at Logansville, Georgia : letter was addressed to a man who once lived in that place, and marked on the envelope, " Please forward." After sev eral weeks' stay in the office at that place it was sent to the dead letter - office with the following notation : "Can't forward; the durn kuss is dead and down trams all abandoned."- A PCZZLE -solved : Two Irishmen were poring over the news in one of our city papers, -and coming to the heading, est," and immediately following it "Very Latest," one- S - aid to the other : "An' sure, Tim, will ye be afther explainin' what this ineau, ?" "Arrah, bedad," -said Tim, "an' it is meself that- can ex plain that to ye. ,Sure the latest is what comes in time to be printed, and the very . latest is what comes afther the paper is out." - "Pnnrry nice thing in yolur paper this morning," said Fogg, to the editor of the Matutinal Marauder- "Yes," said the editor inquiringly, his face lighting up with a glow of pleasure. "I suppose you refer to my leader on the situation?" Fogg shook his head. "Or perhaps it - was that neat paragraph ab out the Bung town Railroad ?" "No," r i , aid,Fogg, -" it was a. pound of beefsteak that I - took home for breakfasts NiCest thing I ever saw in the Marauder, 'pon'tionor.. - A DISPATCII from Washington states that one of the clerks in the Sixth Audi tor's office "is seriously ill from over woric." This is the first - appearance of this dreadful malady at the National Cap ital. :Let us hope for the best.—Chicago • Tribune. "LA FAVORITA "is the , name Of pet cat belonging to a maiden lad_y residing on the Heights of Brooklyn. It goes out on the roof at' night and sings Spirto Genteel." Thoughtful Thoughts. WOULD you gain the confidence of bus indence men, do not try to-support the style of your employer. , OwE no man -mire than you are able to pay, and permit no man to owe you more than you are able to lose.._ PEOPLE glorify all sorts of bravery ex cept the bravery they might, show on be half of-their nearest neighbor. NEVER try to reason . the prejudice .out of a man. It wasn't reasoned into him, and it cannot be reasoned out of him. WITH many estates-it happens as with cages ;_the birds without despair to...get in, and those within despair of getting out._ - Ntiim are more to be pitied than those who have the means of gratifying their desires - before they have learned to goy-, ire them. -IT is not necessary to *threaten a bad man for his own deeds threaten with - a worse punislinitnt than you can inflict. IF people only said and did what it was absolutely- necessary to my and do, this would be a woild of silence and leisure. TFfERE is no. better ruler than judg ment ; no safer guardian thin justice ; no stronger sword than right no surer ally than truth; LET us not. forget that we. am now in life's great training school. The acts of the present will have an effect upon tue future of your life. THE man or woman whom excemaive caution holds back from striking the an vil with earnest endeavor, is poor and c)wardly of purpose. Tn mere lapse of years is not life. Knowledge, truth, love, beauty, goodmis, faith, alone can give vitality to the me chanism of existence. . THERE can not be $. surer proof of low origin, or of an innate meanness of dispo sition, than to be always talking . and thinking of being genteel. ' Tnc Babylon (L. I.)" South Bide &ghat quotes from a Missouri paper : Mr. Wm. F. Quinlan; Crystal City, Mo., "suffered occasionally from rheumatic pains in his knees, far which ti w insctiegully tried St. Jacobs Oil. MI