TWINS OF runacAlries.
The BRADTORD IMPORT'S Is pabliallaHl leery
Thursday morning by. GOODRICH k HITCHCOCK,
at One Dollar peranunnu la adVanee.
tir Advertising In all cases exclusive of intb•
scr piton to the paper.
Si• ECI A.L NOT IC ESlnserted at Tr." Clitlliper
linetor first insertion, and l'iVR CCM WHIRe for
each suesequent Insertion, but no notice Inserted
Or less than fifty cents.
YE &RIX ADVERTISEMENTS will belisart
cd at reasonable rates._
Admlntstrator's and - Executors Notices, ;
Auditor's NotAces,t2.so; B usiness live lines,
(Per year) 111, additional lines et each. ,
Yearly advertisers are entitled to quarterly
changes. T ransitnt advertisements must be paid
for in adeasee.
All reso l u ti o ns of aisociationst cottimunteattons
of itmited or pldividual interest, and notices or
marriages or deaths,exceeding five Ilnesare chug,
ed sirs CEXTS per line, but simplonotlces of Mar
riages and deaths will be published without charge.
The RITOUTSIt haying &larger cirenlationthan
any Ober paper in the county, makes it the best
advertising medium In Northern Pennsylvania.
. JOB PRINTING of every MO. In plain and
fancy colors, done with neatness and dispatch.
Handbills, Blanks, Cards, Pamphlets, 11111 heads,
Statements, Sc., of every variety and style s printed
at the shortest notice. The EZPOETZn office is
well supplied with power presses, a good &Mort
ment of now type, and everything in the printing
line can be executed in the most artistic manner
and at thelowest rates. TERMS INVARIABLY
ASII.
Ansiutss gabs..
DAVIES, & HALL,
ATTORNETS-Ai'-LAW,
SOUTH BIDE OF WARD PURSE.
Dec :3-75
SAM W..BIICK,
TTORNE T-AT-LAW,
Nora:l'79. • TOWANDA, PENN'A.
OMee—At Treasurer's °Mee, In Court House
Av H. & - „E. A. THOMPSON,,
ATTORN RYS.A.T.I.Aw. TOWANDA, P.
I In Slercur Bknk. over C. T. Kirby's Drug
. ...tore. All business Intrusted to their care ',Who
attended to promptly. Especial attention given
10 .'si ms against the 1 7 nIted States for PENNiONS,
NT I ES, PATENTS. etc; to collections and
to the settlement of decedent's estates.
11. THOMPSON',
EDWAIII) A. TiioursoN
: \pi,T~l-SI
A.: BEVERLY SMITH & CO.,
BOoKh'INDEI:S,
•
And deniers In Fret Saws aria' Ainnteurs' Suppos
e-llott, RF.I.OI:TE.It Building..
rLx. 1 - 12, Towanda, Pa
F. L. lIOLLISTER, D. D. S.,
1) 1:-X T I S 7'.
'(-nt•crs,or to Dr. E. 11. A tiglo. OFFICE-;-.Second
it ,r of L).. Pratrs (nee.
Towlfida, ra., .lattnary ti, 1881
AI ADILL fi KINNEY, •
ATTOILNLYS-AT-LAW.
O
Mr\ —Rivals formerly occupied by Y. M. C. A
1:,01:1. •
11. J. :AI?
_JOHN W. COPPING,
._
--;-
f.
- . ATToitmtr-AT-T.Aw, TOWANpA, PA.
__ ____.
-` 1):1;Ce. over Kirby`A Drug Store; _
MEM
lEEE
THOMAS E. MYER
ATTO:: NET-AT-LAW,
WYALUSINU, PEN \'A.
5,.1.1 , 1111.a• 25, 11+79
pEck OVERTON
ATTOItNEYS—AT at,W,
TOWA IC DA, r
I=l
110DNE,Y A. :111N1OUR,
A•mly. - NET AT-LAW,
TOW ASIDA.,
l'at I'arthtittat 4 attention paid
In the t)rphans Court and to the t.ottle
mew /* • ., I.lt.
M.,ntanye, Block
)1 - ERTON-:AL SANDERSON,
Ey.AT-LAW
TYVCA.NDA:PA
E. kr:KV:TON . , . 1 ti
IA T' 11. JESSU-P,
ATTOI:NE): A XI) COI - N:4E1.1 . ,(1P.-AT-L:LIV4
7.I()NTP*ISE. PA.
.Imtv. l .lc,mp remmed the prattlee of the
law in Noll:p.m I%.magylvania; will attend to any
I (gal bu,iims.s itiirmste.l to him In I;radfera emmt.v.
v et i...1,1eg to eon-Mt him, can call nu I.
Strc-tl.r. Tuwamla, ra.ochen an appolutment
ca. , : he male. -
FIENILY sTREETER,
ATTO,T: N FLY A COrNSELLOI:-AT-LAW,
TowAsni, PA
1 I L. im,Lis, 1 ,
A 14011. N }:Y-AT-LAW,
TOWANDA, PA.-
'IMAM E. BULL,
SURVEYOR.
NEI:RING, ,t'ItVEYING AND PIZAFTING.
,7 11 , 0 t (:. F. Mas , ..ri, - ever & 'Tracy.
!OH.l , treu!; row;:t(la.
, 1 1,SBUEE A-, SON,
I
TOWANDA, PA.
~
NIX,
.1 01IN 'V
fr,II:NEY-AT-LA.W COI.IMISSIONKU,
• TOWANDA,
Side Public '24-tuare
ANDREW WILT,
e, • • •
- A Trous;nr-kr-LAW.
Ntain•st. ON't r .t. L. Kent's
F , r6v:t :lay he consulted in C..r.Dian.
'76.]
•
ATT! , I;:cF.:I - 7AT-LAW,
Ti , \VANDA, PA
~. i:•.—)teretir Mock', Park street, up stairs
M. W00113131.1.N, Physi
a I !an and Surt.v,coth °Rice at replitelice, ou
llnq north E. Church.
To..ni:.Ta. April 1. 1,1,1.
•
%yr B. KELLY, DENTIST.-ofllce
T. 7 • over M. F. Rouenflehrs, Towanda, Pa.
T;-eth inserted on Gold, t.3liver, Rubber. and Al
n ninin I,tse. Teeth extracted without .aln.
t 1et.34-72.
1 - ; D. PAYNE, M. P.,
Jo PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON.
over Montanye s• Store. (Mee hours from:10
.
to I 2 A. x„ and from 2 to 4 P.m. ~'
Special :Mention glen to
I)! , EASES) ( DIST ASES.
~ r } and . . {
L (F.
111 1. EYE ) - f nil,. AIL
PERRIGO,
_ Tr. ',CIS I:II .PIANO AND 01:flAti.
given in Thorough 'Hass and Harmony
of the voice a specialty.. Located at .1.
l'. Stat.t. Street. Reference : Holmes
Tonatola, Va., March 4, ISM%
R : AT A N
I_.fi • - ; ;
COUNTY SUPET.INTENDE
dagy i:sct Saturday of each month °vet Turner
& Gordon 's Drug Store, Towanda, l'a. •-
Towanda, J out 20. IS7B.
(1 S. RUSSELL'S
`l•
GENERAL
I NS:URA NCE •AGENCY
.71)t!
F ` IVAItD WILLIAMS, 1 .
PS.ACTIrAt PLUM.R . & GAS FITTER
Pla , P of buque!•F,a few doors north of Tost-OClce
ri.111:11111g, Ca% Fitting, Repairing Plimps,nt all
tio 1.., and all kinds of Gearing promptly attended
to. All wautlng work fields tinestionld give tilm
a .alt.Dec.4, 18;9.
. ,
IRST NATIONAL BANK,
T()WANDA, PA.
CAPITAL RAIDIN
FUND
Tidy Cant offers 1111111 Mai facilities forth° trans
action p? general banking business.
lc. N: BETTS, Cashier
JOS:POW ELLi President.. -
110IISE,
CORN EHMAIN & WASHINGTON STREETS
FlittiT WAUD, TOWASDA. PA.
Meals at all hours. Terms to suit the times. Large
• stable attsiehed.
WM. HEMRY,PIIOPMIZTOR.
Towanda. July 2. 3 704 f.
A FEW COPIES OF THE ROAD
LAWS can !Jo hid at this Onlca.
Men don't believe tuna Devil now, as their father's
used to do;
They've forced the door'of the broadest creed to
•
lot his Majesty thypngb. •
.. -
There isn't a print of his-cloven 'foat, or a fiery
' dart from his bow
To be found In earth or,,alr today; for the world
has voted so.'
But, who Is mixing t h e fatal draught that palsies
- heart and brain,
And loads the bier of each passing. year with ten
•hundred thousand stein? !
Who blights the bloom of the land today with the
fiery breath of hell,
If the Devil isn't, and never was? Won't" some
body rise and tell?
TOWARD.,
;.
Who 4 dog 9 the step of the toiling saint and digs the
pit for his feet?
Who sows the tares In the fields or Time wherever
God sows MS wheat? ' '
•
Tho Anil Is voted not to be, and, of course, the
• thing is true ;
But who is doing the kind of work the alone
should do?
We are told ho &its not go about like a roaring
lion now ;
But Who'shall we hold responsible' for the ererlast-
Mg row
To be heard at home, in Church and State, follie
earth's remotest bound, )
If the Devil by a unanimous vote Is nowhere to fie"
---
.found'!
'March I, 1581
Won't somebody step to tho front:, forthwith and
make their bow and show
How the frauds and the crimes of a single day
spring up ? Wo want to knee?.
The Devil was falrly_vot4.l out, and, of course, the
Devil's gone,
Hut sitaple pecplewotilil like tri . know who carries
his business on P.
=
'We really must economize some
where !' said Obadiah; tugging away
at his whiskers.
- 'Yes, indeed,' said 1,-wringing my
hands, we must! But I'm sure, Oby,
dear, we are neitherr'of Us extrava
gant. We must eat; we must drink
j
and we must live !' ), - -
And Obadiah and' ‘sat and looked
at each other, in _ ort of mild de
spair.
We •had Only been 'married six
months, Obadiah. and I. ' We were
very yoang, bothe — Ti — ffs,'and perhaps
we had begun the world too early.
Our relation's told us we hadn't any
business to marry_; but!as-their gra
tuitous opinions were all that they
had ever given us, or ever intended
to "lye us, we had not paid much at
tention ,to their utterances.
LIKNS. M. PECK
May I, '79
«'e • -had taken - a - little one-story
cottage, just on -the .higli'road, which
was to let cheap, because there were
only:two rooms and a kitchen to it.
But what did. Obadiah and I want
with more than two rooms and a
kitchen.? I had the 'furniture which-
Grandmother :Newcomb had given
me, an&a: rag carpet which my poor
mother had woven the winter before
she died. To be sure, --- our accommo
dations.were not extensive, but we
did not expect to hold fashionable
receptions, In give large dinner par- .
ties.. - •
Obadiah had-plenty of,work intim
woolen factory, down by. the depot,
and I hung out my little sign, 'Dress
making and Millinery,' land hoped
that some one would see it, andiCOme
in and give, me an order. But no
one came.. I plenty of time after
mY. housekeeping duties were over
in the morning, and I couldn't be
always beeswaxing the fUrniture, ar
ranging tlie
_china cupboard, or p6l
- the wiados.
wish I could get . Soine - dress•
making to (10!' said 1, wiSttnlly ; for
Obadial's earnings were ,s'nall, and
I did ,-so long for-a dollar or twoof
•t••
My own:
Jmix F. SANDEr.sON
1 7 0)•27', '79
rnovll -75
L.ELsniltr.
'Why don't you advertise in the
village paper?' sald Mr..Meggs.
Obadiah. burst outipughing. -
Jzn.1,1875
'Advertise P slid he. 'Why, what
on earM, do_ you tape -us for, Mr.
costs deal of money
to adveftise.' .
'lt eostssowctTing , certainly,' said
Mr. Meggs, thoughtfully stroking hiS
chin; 'hut, tlfen, it calls public atten
tion to the particular sort of iron
that you have!in the fire.'.
'A little lok.:al payer like that ?'
said Obadiah, rather contemptuously..
'lt's local custom that * your wife
wants, isn't it?' said Mr. eggs.
'An4 I never did think much of
newspapers,' added Obadiah..
Splhat settled. the question ;• and
afterward, when ihe foreman of the
woolen factory et'lt di*n all the wages
of the workmen tweniT per. cent., and
coal went up, :ma the winter set in
hard and cold, and' we began to con
sider the question of how and where
We could
.economize, the local news
paper was almost the first thing upon
which Obadiah settled. --
at leak, is ,an unnecessary
extravagance,' said he.
I winced a little'. The Boggsville
Herald' had been; my constant corn-;
panion for morelonely _evenings_
than I cared to remember.
'lt's only alf a
year, ; Obadial4 4 ,said.l • 'and. r •31IY;
it's a very interesting Attie 4-fapei.'
TOWANDA., PA.
9123.000
..... . 73,000
, k '
COODRICH & HITCHCOCK. Publishers.: '
VOLUME - XT,TT,
"' THE DEVIL.
MISTAKEN ECONOMY.
'Just a &Her and a half:a'year too
glch,' said my husband, eufly: 'The
subscription is just out. 01 tell 'em
we won't renew it. If, you care •so
much about it, Josie;.youlean easily
borrow Mrs. Alege,s' paper.'
I was'sileo. I never could make
Obadiah .under Stand the deep-rooted I
aversion to 'boarowin' of any ores
ture whatever that I bad inherited
from my . •
So we cut d own the weekly paper,.,
and left off using butter; and burned
candles a penny a pound cheaper,
and I sponged, and cleaned, and re-.
bouiitl, and 410 w-buttoned Obadiah's
greatcoat, instead of buying a new
one, and lett off. going to church be
cause my old cloak was .so shabby
and I couldn't afford anything, better.
• And oh, how I did miss the Boggs
vile .ffei.ald.
'lf I could only
get a little dress
making to do , '
said I to Myself,
would subscribe again myself. But
I. cannot bear to ; ask Obadiah for
cent of his hard-earned money.'
I was sitting very sad,and
one freezing February. day, by. the
window trying to mend one of Oba.
diali's waistcoats, so' that it should
last a- few days longer, when a tray
eling4leddler,"with a huge basket 'of
china ornaments on one arm and a
bundle on his .shoulder, knocked at
the door. Re. nodded in nu insinn
.
OM
acing manner at- me, as I - answered
the
.BIIMMOIIF. .
'Couldn't I sell you something this
morning, ma'am ?' said he, with. .a
liberal display of a very white - and
even set of teeth. 'Any thing in the
way of elegant mantel vases, statu
ettes, decorated china match-boxes
'I Lave no money,' said I, spirit
lessly. 'And I do not need any of
your wares.'
• 'Ah, but you do not know what a
splendid article I have here,' -he per
sisted, loosening the strap which
passed across his shoulder, and low
ering the precious package carefully
to the floor. 'A pair of real Wedge
wood faience& Oh, don't shake your
head, ma'am ; I shan't charge you
anything for looking at 'em, you
'know. I'm , certain you're an artist
—all the ladies are born artists—and
this is really something quite out of,
the ordinary.'
And And with a succession of nods and
grins, he unwritp:ped a pair of 'really
very-pretty 'blue, vases, nearly two
feet higb,and ornamented witb raised
aarlands in white,
'Duly six d ollars for a pair,
ma'am,' said he. 'Dirt cheap. It's
pdsitively giving them away at that
price.' •
L- 'I have nosis dollars to spare,'
said
said I, indifferently.
-'lt's a great bargain, ma'am,' he
.• • :
'I do not want them,' said I. -
He wask silent for a few seconds.
'lm sorry, ma'am,' said he. •They'd
be a great decoration for a house like
this. But-if you-really won't buy, it
Would be doing me a great favor to
allow them to stand. here until to
morrow. • I've a long tramp before
me, and Pm not going to any place
where I think tlicy'd be likely to buy
anything of this sort. .I'll set 'em
back by the chimney-piece, ma'am,
where . ' they won't be in any one's
wny.- And I'm very tired with car
rying "em.'
I felt sorry fcir the' -poor. jaded
wretch—so 1 made - no , objection.
And when he was gone the vases did
make the room looks wonderfully
pretty: I .could.MAbut wish that
they were mine. -
Ohadish perceived_ themat . once,
when he came home to tea.
said be,
mean?'
So I told him, adding i •
only wish that leonld afford to
buy them—they are so handsome.'
Ob tdiah walked around and around
them, with his hands in his ! pockets,
and his brows knit thoughtfully. •
'Yes,', they're pretty,' said he. 'But
they're not perfect.'
'Not perfect!' I echoed.
'Not Lby any means. Don't you
see that" lengthwise crack down one ?
And the_end.of the little raised rose
bud is.. - chipped off on the other,: I
hope ytrdidn't do it, JoSie ?' with a
sudden loot: of apprehension. 7. 7 ..
'I ? . Certainly_ not I cried. 'Why,
I, haven't 'so much as touched the
things.!'
'Then I dare say all right,' said
Obadiah. - ' -
And he sat don* to supper.
The next day, however, my friend,
the ehina;vender, eama,.along, mill;
ing and onsequiqus.as ever 4
'There are3Tmr yases,' said 1, tjnA
where you left them.'
But all at once he broke out into a
storm of reproach and obloquy.
They had been cracked and dam
aged in my care. They were perfect
—absolutely perfect—when he left
them 'here the' day before. I bad
worked the. mischief, and :I was of
course• responsible for the value of
the articles I
Of - course I knew that the rascal.
was telling - a falsehood ; but what
could I do? I .was alone in the
house,
and fairly cowed by the feroc
ity of the:man. .
'You Must pay me for them,' ••he
reiterated, again tad again, 'or I will'
have you arrested'at once,: i l' •
I burst.into tears.
'How pay you P said I. 'The.
vases were damaged when you left
them here. Andibesides, I have'not
five dollars-no, not one dollar—in
the'bouse.'
(Which, also, was true enough).
While I spoke,. lie had-been : glanc
lug furtively around.. -. . •
'I don't want to - behard with - you,
lii"Cam,' said he. ‘Of,,course, a poor
man like me has got to save himself
from loss and if you'll let me have
tliat set of blue and white India chi
na in the dresser, in exchange, I'll
leave the vases, and we'll say no
more about_it.'
'lt went to my heart to part with
the India ware,, which had= been a
'relic Of' my mother's houkeeping
- days ' Fbuti I was so cowed and terri
fied by the man's bullying manner
that II believe I would have given
'inn the house from over my head if
he had asked for it; and he went
away, leaving- the. beautiful vases on
'the floor.-
• I.lolv glad I. was to 'FCC Mrs. Meggs
come cheerfully in, half an hour after=
Ward I—a good, motherly old soul,
with 'silver spectacles and an elderly
,Airuple still lingering on her chick.
'Why, my dear,' said-t3he, 'what's
•the matter ?'
And I told- her all.
.'But, my dear,' said she, 'how came
you to be so taken in.? . There was
an article in the paper last wee.
warning everybody against this very
imposter. Didn't-you see it ? It. was
called "The Vase Swindler."'
I colored deeply, and hung down
my head. • .
.
"We have stopped taking . the paper,'
said I. 'Obadiah thought we couldn't
afford--' -. . , •
'And your beautiful old china, too !'
said Mrs.. Meggs. I Why, there was
half a column in the ipaper, week be
fore last, about the value of old china
just now. And by what it 'stated,
your'set of old India ware Mu St have
been wortlitwenty dollars at least.'
Twenty. dollars! And I bad frit.
tered them sway for a pair of.wretcli
ed, cracked; tawdry things, of the
very sight Of 'which- I was alreiUly
sick.
'4y dear,' said Mrs. Meggs, 'your
ideas of economy are altogether mis
placed. You should read the papers.'
- Obadiah went and subscribed. for
the Hoggsville Herald that very eve•
EINE
MEI
ME
EOM
illffl
TOWANDA, BRADFORD COUNTY, PA., TIMRBDAY 1 MORNING, SEPTEMBER: 1, 1881.
does this
ME.NRIMEMMOM
EMS=
MEM
ping. And in the first number he
saw an advertiseinent for hands at a
new steam faetory in the neighbor
hood, which c ffered steady work and
a third higher wagei than he Was
now receiving. And- I inserted a
modest little 'Dressmaking Wanted,'
and it was answered within the week,
and .I am making my own snug little
income now, thank besven I -
And =if anyloly tells us now that
WO can't afford to take a paper, we
tell them; Obadiah and I, that we
can't afford to do withtmt
Helen Forest, Graves.
The Yankee . Wore the Belt.
. It was during, the Crimean war
that three officers, one an .
man, one a Frenahman, and the other
a Y::;nkee, who-had. joined the allies;
fell ,into a dispute as to which . was
the 'hest swordsman. The dispute
finally' greli ,•So hot as to end in a
challenge . to mortal coinbat;the sur
vivor to wear the laurels. As duel
ing was contrary to army regulations,
and the affair coming to -the ears of
the commanding officer, he at once
took measures to put: a stop to it,
but as all the officers were anxious
to I witnes atrial between these ex
peas, he shit upOn a plan that would
ten-- thei • skill and 'at the same time
not transgress any of the'.rules.' -
There were three prisoners under
sentence of death, and the eommand
er depided to let the belligerents act
ae: efi - entieners, and the one that
wouldlA!erforM the duty irith.- the
greateetiskill should be declared the
victor. So on the appointed day a
large number of officers were present
to witness the trial of skill. • The
Englishman was the first one called
upon, and singling out his man, drew
his sword with a . flash; an& with .
single stroke severed the head from
the body. Great applause followed:
Then' the Frenchman's tarn eame
next. Ile, drawing a narrow ribbon
from
.his Pocket, tied it around. the
neck of his victim ;lalien turning his
hack upon the prieoney: his sword
flew. ; from its scapboard, and he, turn
ingoo his heel. at the . same time r
with one troke cuts th e head from
his victiin - ,splitting the ribbon thro'
the centre. Tremendous applause.
followed; and the universal opinion
was that he would certainly be the
victor. ,-
Now came.the Yankee's turn. He
calmly walked up to• his ' ipan, drew
his sword with the rapidity of light
ning; and giving it a flourish around
his head, sheathed it as quickly, and
turning, Saluted the ..commander..
Hisses and: groans -went up frinn the
crowd, and. the _liommatalevisternly
asked himf What' he - meant by such
conduct. The Yankee, turning to
the •-man he was to have slain, said :
'Will you please to spit, sir?' The
man attempted to comply with his
request, when his head rolled off, it
haViak, been so quickly severed that
lie. did not know it until he went to
more his :head. • The Yankee wore
thelbett.
; '
Why Deacon S. 'Went Behind
It had been `the common talk of
thel:neighbors
_that Deacon S., ''ho
several years ago live :I in HaMilton
county, Ohio, Was going behind, but
no one knew exactly the reason why.
'The fences were down on hig farm ;
the place - was not only covered with
weeds, bu r t . Worst of all , - with a: mort
gage to o samonsiderahle amount. One
day the hoe was inksing, 'and after
huntlnis it for a long time, Deacon S.
called to his, son'John - •
'Where is the hOe,,JOhn
'Don't know, father.' • • 1
'Thought I toKyou to always keep
it in its place ?'
'Didn't know you had a place for
it, father.'
Is.Teict day the shovel was missing,
then the axe. An hour was consumed
in finding it—just at that time, too,
when Mrs., S. was impatiently wait
ing for Wood to get dinner with.
After the axe was found, the handle
was discovered to have been broken.;
another hoviiWas consumed in fixing
it. .
•
One evelling farmer A. calbe-;;in
about dark to sit awhile. -Ater a
little conversation, sayi Deaeon S.:
'Will you have anything to drink?'
'Well, I don't mind,' :replied farmer
A.,'if it's handy.'..
'Certainly it's handy,' says the.
deacon ; although d
. it- was ark, he
went to the cupboard And without
any trouble put his band on the bot
tle. *A light was struck, and if some
of.the inquisitive persons had - looked
in an hour thereafter they would .
have found_ a solution very readily
to the question of why Deacon §.
was going behind. • •
Although he had taken several
draughts froni, the .bottlei he was
careful to p 4 it back in itis.aceus
tomed place. .11c, could get up in the
darkest night and put his hand on
the bottle ,
_ baille . neVer could find
the hoe. This *at; the secret of Dea
con S. going behind. Any man who
attends to his bottle and forgets his
hoe will be likely toWbehinii..
HORRIBLE BIRTII-MARK.—AIeIICVA"
Advertisci-: Once in a there
comes to Geneva from • thes,.-Vicinity
of" Huckleberry Swamp," a location
famous for its snakes,- a woman not
'greatly advanced in years—perhaps
thirty-five—who was born and has
al-Ways lived there.'. Her features
bear the birth-mark occasioned by
fright at a snake, and _occasionally
her walk is similar to the.. wriggling
movement of a snake . when purauing
its-path.' Her eyes are not far apart
in the head, small, and instead. of be
ing oval, are diagonally set. At the
close
,of. a sentence, when talking,
she: invariably runs her tongue. out
for ari. instant. Aside from : these
-terrible traits she is a handsome wo
man, l'with flowing- auburn hair,
plump in form, and weighs 137 lbs.
She attributes her peculiarities_ to' a
„hirth-mark. To strangers she is na
turally sensitive about. her 'appear
ance; to friend 4 she fs . quite reticent,
but learning our association-with the
press, told us thus much of her in
' flunkies. • - •
A MAN is known by the c,onipppy be
keeps ont of.—Loweil 'Cajun,
IMI
4 '
•fr•. :
-• • .
: ,:,-::-.--1-,;:l',-::;.:
OF DENUICILTION nom 'AItY -QUARTER.
A United States Boundary Line.
The northern boundary of this
country is marked -by 'some cairns,
iron pillars, - wood \ pillars, earth
mounds and timber. posts. A stone
cairn is seven and a half by eight
feet, an earth mound r is seven by
fourteen, feet, an iron, pillar eight
feet, high, eightlnches leqttare at the
bottom, and four inches at the', top;
timber posts five feet high and eight
inches square. There are three hunl,
dre2l' and eighty-two of these marks
between the Lake of the Woods and
the base of the Rocky Mountains.
That portion of the boundary which
lies east and west'of the Red River
'Valley is marked by cast•iron pinata
at even•mile intervals. The British
placed one at every two miles and
the United States one between each
two BritiSh posts. Our pillars or
markers were made at Detroit, Mich
igan. They are hollow iron cast
ings, thrce-eighths of an inch in
thickness, in the form of a truncated
pyramid, eight feet high, eight inch
es square at the bottom and four
inches at the top, as before stated.
They have at the top a solid pyra
midal cap, and at the bottom an oc
tagonal flange one . inch in thickness.
Upon the opposite facts are cast in
letters two inches high the inscrip
tions, " Conventions of London,"
and "Oct. 20, 1818." The inscrip
tions begin 'about four feet six. inch
es above the base, and read upward.
The interior of the hollow posts are
tilled with well•seasoned cedar posts
sawed to flt, and securely spiked
through spike•holcs cast in the pillar
tor that purpose. The average
weight of each pillar when completed
is eightv-pve pounds. The Tillers
arc set foor feet in the ground, with
their inseription faces to the north
and sonthond the earth is ' well set
tled and stamped about them. For
.the woodtn posts well-seasoned logs
are seleotidiand the portion above
the ground ninted red, to prevent
swelling and - shrinking._ These posts
do very well, but the - Indians cut
them down for fuel, and nothing but
on will' 'nit very long. Where the
line j crosses lakes, monuments of
stone have been built, the bases be
ing in_ some places eighteen feet un
der water and the tops projecting
eight feet above the lake's surface at
high-water mark. In the forests the
line is marked by felling the timber
a foci wide and clearing away the
underbrush. The work of nutting
through the •timbered Swamps was
very great, but it has been well done
ail the boundary distinctly inarked
by the Commissioners the whole dis
tance from Michigan to Alaska..
:The following ,will .doubtless be
read with interest by air: The Medi
cal Journal and r"Eranilter i)u,bliill-
es an extract from a paper of Dr.
Gizyvala, relating to the terrible dis
ease, hydrophobia, in which the doc
tor claims for the weed,. Xantlilum
Spinosunt, antirabic properties; He
has tested its efficacy in a :hundred
victims bitten -by rabid animals,• of
who be lost none. - Some very as
tonishing instanees - of the marireloud
power of this drug are, given, two of
which are. appended.' Twelye per
sons of one family' had been bitt&l
by ajmad wolf. Six of this number
were admitted into a hospital, at 01,
sohanks,. Government of roadie,
district of 13altak. and. were treated
with this drug, and ail recovered,
. All of the 'others, treated with the
actual cautery and the daily use of
genista - - tinctoria died with liydro,
phobia in from twelve to sixty days.
Thirty oxen had been bitten' brri
mad wolf; five.of them died hydro,
phobie. The remaining twenty-five
were treated with Xanthizim Spino
sum -and recovered. Of the '.dried
leaves, powdered, the dose • for an
adult is nine grains, thrice. daily.
For 'children under that age, half
that dose. For the animals above al-
laded to,_the dose was three ounces
daily given. in bran.' . Too warm a
welcome to this new aspirant for the
honors of specificity against hydro
phobia cannot be extended. The
trustworthiness of Dr. Gizyvala .is
'yodelled for by Professor. Guber, of
Paris.
Xanthium Spinosium, or Clot
Weed;—the Thorny
. Cockle • I3ilrr, is
a native of the United States as, Well
as Europe, growing in the fieldS;nd
roadsides, from Massachusettal to ,
Pennsylvania n and Georgia. ItliS .a
plant.growing about one foot. high,
very - conspicuously armed with straw
colored spines, and possessed of dis
tincitly.sudotific properties.
_ .
-An' ostrich's digestion is aidiid, by
stones or' pebbles, which • the bird
puts 'into its stomach to grind'the
food it has eaten. This - habitt.is
bronght, out by. the following narra
tive told in Forest and Sireani, of a
visitor's eOcrience•while at an os
trich farm; iii South - Africa : • --
The first familiarity one
,of them
ventures to take is to make a snap
your -neck. We give hire a slap
and stand back.
'Ph I he's only after your breast
pin,' sais the farmer . ; 4 1- forgot to
tell you to keep your jewelry out of
sight.'
lhis is easily removed, but the in
quisitive bird makes a peck at the,
top button of .my coat, and when I
find at last that to
he does not sewn
be Tery'4rong in the beak, and-1011kt
this' is not his weapon of offence, 1.
let him continue the operation.
-If we 'ask why these birds have a
passion for - buttons and studs,.and
:bright things gmerallY,_ including
jack - knives, the farmer replies that
.they are in the habit of eating peb
bles and-stones to help digestion by
the irituration of their food.
The harder the stone : the better,
and it is probable ,they associate
brightness with hardness.
Tan teacher had grown eloquent in
picturing, to his little pupils the beAuties
of heaven and he finally asked: " What
kind of little boys go-to heaven?" A
little four year old boy, with kicking
boots, tkinrished his fist. "Well, you
may answer" said the teacher. "Dead
ones," the little fellow skonted at the ex
tput of his lungs. .
-6
Hydrophobi
Why Ostriches,Eat Stonig.
EZE
Cro4sed the Dark River.
'Two nights ago at midnight,' said
Brother Gardner to the, Limekiln
Club, saw Brudder Kyall Jones
take leave ol" Mitt" to cross de dark
ribber. De ole mans
,had bin ailin'
fur weeks, and he was ready, to go.
When_his eyes looked under de dark
cloud of death an' cotched sight of
de aigia of Heaven, he gathered his
friends about him, an' we sot.beside
him when his life went out. If der
am a man in dis hall who believe wid
Bob Ingersoll he ebouhi hate binder
when de soul of dat poo' old black
man began slippin' away from its
-home of - clay., What brought de
smile of joy to de old man's face ?
What pit de look of blessed satisfac
tion in his eye ? Why did be wel-
Come de comin' of dat sleep which
knows no wakin' till de blast of de
trumpet turns.airthlnto Paradise_?
'Why down in de rice fields of
Louisiana lies de body of his ole
wife. flat smile of joy was bo'n at
de thought of meethe her at de gates
of Heaven. In a green lane in Geor
gia lieS ae dust of his first hiSin
Dat look cum to his eyes when he
realized clat befo' de morrow he would
fold dat boy in his arais.',ln deirars
of de long ago dey took his'darter
away an' he has nebber heard/ from
her since. When bethought of •de
blessed family reunion up dar behind
le gates Of gold, his face wore sich
look dat we could almot' h'ar de mu
sic of.de harps. Tell me of some un
believer whp has died dat way! Tell
me of a scoffer who has let gt. of life
wid a smile 'on his , i - facel All cle
words of all de infidels' On'airth could
not have shaken de faith of -the pou'
ole man. He could not read, but he,
coUld,pray.• He could not write, but
he could hope. .Dist
.befo' de bells
struck midnight, we.saw 'his smile
brighten, an' he pintectivid his finger
into distance. Sheik! !tell you what
de old man saw ?He saw bey ond de
curtain which hangs between life-an'
eternity. He saw legions upon I .egions
an' hosts upon hosts marchin' down
to do dark ribber. He 'saw beyond
chit. He saw de sunlight on de odder
sho'. He heard music. He saw de
wife and Chill'en of odder days. an'
when dey held out deir arms to him;
he' whispered to us: 'Dey is callin'—
dey i•J callin', and lie sunk away with
out even a . ;
A Monster Man's Body. ,
About three Miles, fiorn.Wilkes4
Barre, at a place. Called. Ashley, a
Mr. McCauly has the contract iroml
the Wilkes-Barre Coal and Iron
Company for sinking a coal shaft.
It is twenty feet square and is in
tended to have two tracks for car
riages tefrun in hoisting up the coal,
and is said to be the largest opening
_of the , kind in .the coal regions. - It
is located near the base of the moun
tain and has reached a depth of 475
feet. On Saturday last, when the
gang or whittle known as the second
shift of men, were about retiring - af 7
ter firing off a course Of holes, Tom
Cassidy, theiforeman, descended_the
shaft to ascertain the result of the
explosion and was astonished to find
an immense.Ca,vity in one of the sides
!
of the shaft. T e explosion appear
ed to have a ter ible effect and caus
ed more damage than benefit on ac
count of an mm cessary opening" on
one side, but. hiS astonishment was,
still greater increased on clearing
away some of the dirt and refuse of
rock blown by the shots to discover
a solid mass of rocks in which ap
pears a clearly defined' human shape
of giant proportions. All the limbs,
muscles and lineaments are appav
ent. The rock is about sixteen feet
in length, ten in breadth, and about
eight in thickness. The dimensions
of the human frame are' giantly,'
measuring twelve feet in length and
four across the chest. -, Across the
breast is the impressiou of a huge
Ishield about four feet in circumfer
ence, while the right band clutches
the broken and but end of 9, - large
cutlass or sword. The rock was tak
en out whole and is now in' posses
sion of Mr._McCauly, of Ashley.
A Strange Disease of Tomato
hA mysterious disease is playing
avocv with the tomato crop of New
Jersey and Delaware. It has also
made_ts appearance on a more limit
ed scale in this State and in Diary 7
land. In New Jersey the farmers
are loudly bewailing their misfor
tune. Some of the largest growers
find that from one-half to two-thirds
of their crops arc entirely unfit for
the market, and in consequence sev
eral of the largest canneries ot Bur
lington county have stopped making
cans, in the belief that there will be
a great shortage in_ the crop. It is
just possible that, the second and
third cuttings may be free- from the
disease, but unless this hope shall lie
realized, there will be a corner in the
canned tomato market during the
coming. winter. In the first stage a
sliglit discoloration appears on the
skin underneath the blossom stein. In ,
the next stage this is more pronounc
ed, and sinking of the surface is
apparent. In the third stage a gen
eral decay has extended over the en-'
tire blossom-stem side. From this
onward the decay extends through
the vegetable until it is nothinebut
an unpleasant mass of rottenness.
The disease is a new one, and its or=
igin is a mystery. An examination
through powerful glasses has failed
to detect the presence ot animalculte:.
Sometimes the 'vegetables are attack
ed when in a green state; at other
times they:are almost ready to •be
gathered when it, makes its appear
ance. In this seetion, the rot is very
marked, and is rendering unfit:- for
market at least one-third of the crop.
Our market gardeners are making
great complaints of the losses' they
- have already sustained, and owners
-of private gardens say - the disease at
tacks their vines generally,. and in
addition to the loss by the rot, the
yield in size and quantity is also con
siderable.
"LET'S rest a moment between bars,"
is what the MUSlCialli say when they
want to go,ont and get >A drink, —Keokk t t
Constftettion.
• ; -,
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: :;:yy , :'•'.. \... „,:,-....•
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Vines.
El
. i ,
.:
_. i-
'raking Advantage of an Accident
Three men-of-war ships—Dutch,
Frnnrh ald English—while archored
in port, were contending with each
Other for the best display of sailor
ship, so that the captain of each ves
sel determined to send aloft an active
sailor to perform some deed of grave
and daring. The Dutch-captain sent
a Dutchman, the French a French
man, and the English an Irishman.
Dutchman stood on the top of the.
mainmast with his arm extended.
The Frenchman then went aloft and
extended both arms. Now the Irish
man tlkought if he could stand on
the top of the mainmast with a leg
and an arm extended he would be
declared the most daring sailor.
Nimbly he climbed aloft until he
reached the highest point, - then he
balanced himself on both feet and
extended his right hand_
- with a grace
ful motion. Then he .threw out his
left leg until it came into a line with
his right arm. In doing so he inglo
riously lost his Wince and fell from
the mast, crashing: through the rig
ging toward the deck: The various
ropes with Which be came into con
tact broke his fall, and his velocity
was not too great to prevent his
gratiping a rope attached to the main.:
yard. To this he hung for two sec
onds, then, dropping :lightly to
.the
deck, landed safely on his feet. Fold
ing his arms triumphantly, as if the
fall and all were in the programe t he
,glanced. toward the rival ships and
joyously exclaimed—
'There, bate that if you can.'
People Who Whine
.There 18 a .class of persons in this
world, by no means small, whose
prominent peculiarity ;is whining.
They whine because they are poor,
or if rich, because they have no health
to enjoy their riches; they whine be
cause they 'have no luck,' and - others
prosperity exceeds theirs; they whine
because some friends li - Ue died and
they are still living ; they,,rhine be:
cause'they hive aches and pains, and
they have aches and pains because
they whine; and they ishine, no one
can" tell why. Now a word to these
whining persons. First, stop whin
ing—it is of no use complaining,'
fretting, fault-finding arid whining; -
Why, you are the most deluded set
of creatures who ever lived ! DO you
know that. it is a well settled princi
ple of physiology and common sense
that these habits are more exhausting
to nervous vitality than almost any
other violation otphysiological
And do you know that life is pretty
much as you make it ? lon can
make it bright and sunshiny, or you
can make it dark and shadowy. This
life is meant only to discilaline us—
to fit us for a higher-and purer state
of beginning. Then_ atop whining
and fretting, and go on your way -re
joiCing. .
What 20,000 Acres Is.
Men - talk carelessly about acres
and money. It is difficult to realize
to the mind large sums of money:
Commodore Vanderbilt once told
Me thatile could never realize how
Much $lO,OOOOOO amounted to. The
same is true of large tracts of land.
Men talk 61'20,000, 40,000. and 50,-
000 acres without any realization of
the extent of such an acreage. I
visited the other day a ranch of 20,-
000 acres. I intended to make a
thorough survey of it, that is, to
ride around it, and acrossit: I made
my survey, but when I learned that
the .fence which enclosed it was over
seventy miles in length I concluded
to inspect it by sections. I did con
siderable riding in two days, never
theless, but Ididn't ride around it.
On _the ranch there were 1,500 acres
all : under the plow, one bit of land
nearly aslevel as a floor v a parallelo
'gram in shape, and the furrow which
the plow cut in traversing from one
end to the other three miles in a
straight line. It is only after one
has visited such an estate and devot
ed days in riding.over it that he re
alizes what 20,000 acres of land is.
- Tni FAITFUL WlFE.—Oftentiniks
I have seen a tall ship glide, by
against the tide, as if drawn - by an
invisible tow line with a hundred
strong arms pulling , it. Her sails
furled, her streamers drooping, she
had neither - site-wheel• nor stern
wheel ; still she moved on, stately, hi_
serene triumph, as with her own life.
But Lknew that on the other aide of
the ship, , hidden beneath . the great
bulk that swam so majestically, there
was a little toilsome steam tug, with
a heart of fire and arms of iron, that:
was tugging it bravelyon ; and I
knew that if the little ste4in tug un
twined her arms and left he ship, it
Would walk) . * and roll away, l and
drift hither and thither, and go with
the effluent _tide 'no min knows
where; and so I -have known more
than one genius, high decked, full
freighted, wide-sailed, gay-pennoned,
but for the bare toiling arm and
brave warm heart of the faithful lit
tl9 wife ,that nestled close to him
so that no wind or wave could .
' part them, he would have gone down
the stream and been heard ofYno
Holmes. -
"So you're not going to marry
Haskin's daughter, though you know
my 'heart is set on that match,"
thundered Sir Marmaduke, the dairy
king,.to ids son, Lem Norton, the ox
tamer of Yellow Springs. "No, sir,"
-meekly., replied the younz
"And, sir," roared the exasperated
father, "may I aelt -- why you' dare
thus to thwart my expressed will ?"
"Yes, air," said his son, in a low,
faint' voice, like a"joke before break
fast, "because I asked her, and she
said she'd rather marry pump log for
brains than marry anybody in ,this
family." " Ali!" exclaimed Sir Mar
maduke, with a fading inflection, and
then he turned away to the new Ayr
shire cow in the corner of the lot;
and said, in a, voice of a thunder
cloud : "iluddup yer foot, ye fur
tailed imp of a thistle patch; jor
knock the stuffin' outen ye Ywitk'n
neck yokel" Ana his own son knew
at the proud-spirited old num 19413
- •
thinking of her.
=EI
81.00 per Annum in Advance,
NUMBER 14
ONE• FAITH IN MANY FORMS.
What Is Ills Name? What- name - wl.ll all eaves*
-film.—
The mighty Whole. of whom we are put part—
Flo that all illtlerinitongnes may Join In a worship
. Echoing In every heart? .
Then ansirers one—"Etod is an endless sequence,
Incapable of either break or flaw,
•Which we discern but dimly and In fragments
God is unchanging Lair."
"Nay," said another, "La* Is but His method.
Vook back, behind the setiminee to Its source;
Behind all phases stud's!l ckanges seek Him
Bad is the-primal force." •
Yea, these are 110 t great, but God Himself Is
greater ; •
A living hirmony,luo dead-cold rule."
Saltirone who In sweet sounds and forms , of beauty
Hath found his soul's best Dellool. . •
Law, force aatt .beauty are but 'vague abstnc.
•ttons, .
Too unconnected wlth the life of Man," •
One answers: "Man hath unlit/Fr time nor powei,
finch mighty thoughts t 9 scan.":
" But here upon the earth We nod him living,
- And though in little time he fail and pass, •
.•
And.all his faiths, and hopes, and 'thoughts die
with him,
turely, as ripened grass ; •
":Yet Man-the race—Eden uhe may be-will he,
Once he has reached unto his full-grown height,
Calm, wise, large-heaited and large-sourd, will
triumph,
In self-renouncing might.. .
'cWho will not own, even now, with sight pre
piletle,
Life la divluest In its human dress, • .
And bend before It with a yearning reverence,
And strong desire to bless?"
yea! Worship chiefly Love,•but also beauty,
Wisdom and force ; for they are all divine
Ilut God Includes them, as some great cathedral
Includes each separate shrine. "
So, Brothers, howsoe'er we apprehend Him,
Sorely 'lls God himself we all adore,-- 7 - •
Life of ail Ilfe. Soul of ail bOUIS, tholllghest,
Heart of all hearts; and more.
'—Jf. A. JCIPMS in fAe Spertalw
• In a lecture at.the London Zoolo
gical Garden by St. George • Mivart,
and publishe d in Nature, some Curi
ous things are told-.of the cfianieleon.
Ilis eyes move with complete inde
pendence of eack other; ott, - "-may be
directed upward and forward, while
the other may' gaze"clownward and
backward. EaCh foot is practically'
a pair of pincers; and the chameleon
is the most thoroughly 'arboreal ani-.
mal.in existence. But its tongue is
a wonderful organ, 'six...or seven inch
es long; with a cup-like depression at
the tip.' Its HMI) :movements life
slow and deliberate ; those of,its nye:s
and tongue, on.the cOntrary,lara re- -
markably
•
The chameleon lives largely -:upon
tiles, and - at first sight it would seem
impossible that so apparently torpid
- and' sluggish an animal should be
able to-..reach and seize creatures not
only active in their mavements, but
Possesei-ng the power of .flight. - A t
this warm season, when thebhamele
on's appetite is keen,
it may often be.
observed when a fly has been r'intro
duced into its cage to move about
With comparitive celerity, attentive
ly watching : the fly's movements,
now with one-and now with the oth
er eye. It sooner or later happens
that the fly settles fora few seconds,
somewhere within halt it foot's dis
tanae-of the chameleon's head. Then
the' chameleon's mouth may be . ob
served to open and-the apex - . Of =the
tongue to protrude. •In an instant
it has shut again and-the. fly has dis
appeared‘ In fact the chameleon has
spit out,-as it were, its "enormously
extensible tongue upon the insect,
secured by the viscid. secretion
with which the tonguels - coated, - iiid
again withdracvn that organ together
with the prey, but the. whole has
been affected with such Amazing ra
pidity that the observer's eft cannot
follow the movenients'otthe reptile's
tongue. •It is
_projected and -with-.
drawn without the slightest noise, 1
but in the twinkling.of an eye.
It is this tongue which is.-as
were- the centre of the chamelemi7s
organization, and this, tongueLmove"-:
ment isithe very essence of -its exist
ence, and is whole raison &etre:
Without - it - -the animal's life would
be impossible, while the very slow
ness and deliberations of its other
movements are.a gain, since they en
able the chameleon to advance upon
its prey, within shooting distance
without harming it. ••
- may serve as monitors, by in
dicating our present moral state ; but
must not be relied upon as foreshadowing
future events.`:
Wuxi' sunshine is to flowers, smiles
are to huManity. They are but trifles,
to be sure,- buc scattered along life's path:
way, the good they do-is inconceivable.
POLITENF.SB is to a man what beauty is
to a woman. It creates an instantaneous
impression in his behalf, while the oppo
site quality exercises as quick a prejudice
against him.
COII.7IITEST is the crowning grace of cul
ture, the stamp of perfection upon char
acter,'the badge of the perfect gentleman,
the fragrance of the dower of womanhood
When full blown. •
WE are, ruined not by what sfe really
- Want, but by what we think we do;
therefor,.'; never go abroad ;in search" of
your wants. If they be real wants, they
will come home in search of you. • •
Amuses defines good nature "as one
of those blessings of a happy constitution
ivhich_tire implanted in a man at his
birth, and vbich must necessarily be irn
pro`ed,•but cannot possibly be introdue 7
ed by the process of education."
". THERE arc ways enough of advantage- .
ously helping our ;fellow men; provided
we keep in view the grand lending princi
ple nut to paralyze or deaden their facul
ties by withdraWing the stimulus to ac
tion; but to improve and develop them by
every effort we make in theft . . behalf.
IT is not-what we earn, .but. what we
save, that makes us rich. - It-is not what
weAkat, but, what we digest,.:that makes
ns wise. It is , not what we_ intend, but
-what we do; that makes us useful It is
not a feW faint wishes, but a life-long
struggle, tliat'makes us valiant.
Ix many caSei,. when you are brOught
face to face with a trial which you drehd
ed most keenly, you find that - after all
there is a way; to extricate yourself. The
emergency brings into play faculties 'of
the,mi9d that were dormant while fon
were brooding over the impending-calam
iiy. . • . . •
• Tur. thoughts which bring ' forth ac;
tions, the actions which, repeating them
selves, become habits, the habits which'
form character, the character which is
built into us and becomes our real selves
are the threads of whkh are wov
bu the true happiness or the true woe of
lifo and fro* which they can never be
separated. , '
• .1
The Chameleon.
Ttoughtful • Thoughts.
As far as the Was WM -.Go:
Many of the first settlers of Illinois
were rude in speecirnud rough - In.
manner. - - Mony'• *ewe with
them; and servicewas paid for in- --
produce. Gov . . 11....:-*- - used in illus. -
trate these incidents of frontier life
by the foliciwing anecdote : • - ,
One' day_ih
tere c iuke,tolls office a
young ma n accompanied by a young
woman:" - •
'Be - : you the 'squire P', "sked the
manly youth. , •
• 'Yes, sir)
tan you tie the knot for ns right
away?' •
'How mich do you charge 1'
dollar is•the legal fee, ish , )
- 'Win
.you take your fee in bees
wax *V - - ,
'Yes, if you can't pay cash)
'Well, go ahead and tie the knot, _
and I'll fetch in the war,..' - •
'No,' said the 'Squire, thinking
there was a good chance - for a little
fun; 'bring in the beeswax first and
then I'll marry you'
Reluctantly the youth went out to
whim was hitched the horse, upon
which; Darby and Joan fashion; they
had ridden, and brought the wax in
a sack. On being weighed its value
*as found to be only sixty cents.
&Wall,' said the- anxious groom,
'tie the knot., and-I'll fetch more wax
next week.'
'No sir,.. I don't trast ; that is
against the rules of this office.'
Slowly th - c disappOinted youth
turned to go nut, slying, 'Come, Sal,
let's go.'
'I say, mister,' answered Sal, with
a woman's wit, 'can't you . marry us
as far as the wax will g o P'
'Yes, Ltan, add will ,' repli&f the
'squire; laughing; and'he did.
'SEtztNa the gigantic Indian around -
'the wiiist the,. brave boy lifted him
into thelairlind flung him headlong
down the chasm. Panting, the boy
stood and watched the Indian's body
fall from crag to crag until it had
disappeared in the darkness below.
Just at this moment—' Just at this
moment the' father of the boy who
was reading this trash came along,
lifted the youngstet by the ear, and
in the woodshed matinee that follow
-ed; the boy bad no thought ofslinging
the old man down `a chasm. There
was Rio chasm handy..
AATWIX-VARNISIIED carriage is li
able 14 - 'spot To prevent' this some
wash the carriage two or three times
in clean cold water, .applied with a
sponge instead of using a hose. This
will help haiden the surface and pre
vent it, to some extent, horn being
injured by the mud or water getting
splashed on, the job. Never let mud
dry on the surface and then wash off
expecting to see no spots on the var
nish. You will , certainly be disap
pointed', and the only way io remedy
the evil will be to have it revarnish
ed. Soft water is better than hard
water totthe washing of carriages.
Fun, Fact and Faceti.t.
"lIX . iaISIADE pants for sale." But we
didn't know thatlandmaids wore pants.
—Cincimtali Saturday Night.
hi : Germany there are I,ooo,ooo'snrplus
women. The senTlus waste seems to be
fashionable in the ‘,fatherland.—Bost)a
Transerii‘t.
JUST as' soon as a woman gets a new
dr(ss and..bonnet she has more business
on the street than a curb stone broker.--
'Mar 7thon. Independent.
CINtINNATI had eight drownings in
one day, and the citizens braced right up
and felt that they lived-in a live- and en
terprising city.—Boston Post.
"SKIRTS," 'says a_ fashion exchange,
"are to be made shorter." We don't
just see how the burlesque actresses are
to keep up with tli fashion.—Bortan
Post.
TV. needn't Wish your enemy to write
i'boistil4. Wish that he owned a house . ,]
with• brackets tinder the cornice. The ''
English sparrows will do the 'rest.—De.
troit.Free Press.-- ,
i
' OF all the It'dy's young-Jenkins has ever
heard of, the one lie most envies is the
harbor buoy, because it goes into the wa
ter so early in_the season and stays .all
summer.—Eoteell Citizen.
• .HE was sitting in the parlor with her
when a rooster crowed in the yard, and,.
leaning over, ,ho saitk: "Chanticleer."
"I wish you would ; I am sleepy as I Call - •
be." '
He cleared.—Arizona Assererfor.
WASN'T it _rough on Lyd, just as she
was telling Peck, at dinner, how etherial
her appetite was, to hive the waiter bawl
out : "Say. will yer have yer pork and
beans now, or.wait_till yer fellers's gone ?"
" Wutett side of. the street do you live
on Mrs. Nipple:"' asked a counsel, cross
ex• mining a witness. "On either side
sir. _ If you go one way it's on the right
side - ; if you go the other way its on the
left.'-' '— • . a' .
The dust on the roads is becothing
, dreadful, especially to the- : . man who
Lthinks ho owns a trotter, and finds he is
just fast enough to be dusted by every
thing, except a funeral procession.—Ec
t anßeilM Argus.
ONE of the boys asked young Brown if
his girl's father was much " put out"
wren he asked him for his daughter.
"Oh, no," said Brown ; "he didn't ap
pear to be put out, but he put mo out in
a linrry.".—Newark (N. J.) Call.
711EITE is no more hcpeless case of miti:
133 greaterdepth ot mean wretched
ness pOssible, than the state of the man-,
or woman - who lives on friends' kindness,
and will not work to help himself or her
- self.
THE Michigan'Tegislature did not pass
the bill to restore capital punishment, and
there isn't the slightest chance that -
any of the members will mount the
gallows during the next two years. It is
well to be safe.—Detroit-Free Press. ,
1 lIUSRN nature reveals itself in the
smallest concerns of life. A lad was
i watching a man beating a carpet and said,
" That man's bop must have good times,
l' Why, that marl couldn't lick the stu ffi ng'
t out of a . ten cent • doll."i—Toronto Grip.j
' A scnooi. teacher. discharged ' for us-
Ing . the rod too l freely, applied for em
ployment in a dressmake's establish
ment. "Have you had any nonce in
d * e
sewing ?" asked the dressm et. ",_;No,"
was the reply," but I have. a thorough
knowledge of basting."
A. LADY, not a - thousand miles from
here has just completed a bedqupt which
illustrates how fine a point economy may_
be carried to. It is made from linen fac
ings of paper collars, and the fancy edges
I are composed entirely of the backs of po
rotis plasters:
THE range of friendship 'has hardly a
limit. Intercourse is not
_needful to its
Continuance: Equality in years is not a
requisite. Nor is parity of position essen
tial. The finest- natures triumph over so
cial inequalities, mutual trust and affec
tion can bridge over the chasm between
wealth and poverty.
A :Si:kErEIL is one who sleeps; a sleep
er is also a place where 'a sleeper can
sleep ;
and a sleeper is, too, a thing over
which runs the sleeper in which-the sleep
er sleeps ; so that the sleeper in the sleep
er sleeps while the sleeper runs on as-well
as sometimes leaps off the track.
IF you want to get the reputation of
knowing a heap, do as Professor Proctor
does. He guesses what happened three
or four million years ago and , predicts
what is to happen 15,000,000 years hence.
It is only a few years since be commedc
•ed, and now he can get credit at any gro
cery.—Detroit Pree Press.
lam the greatest man t world bas ever seen—
Rattle up a stag twigtulle. Ma a is
Since the earth was Brat begun none other such
beve been—
• Rauld up a nog tang to tie tun a ta!-
1 preach unto-theirdng-1 care not for the dead:
What'. the future' to a man when his stomach cries
MISMEMMEI
head—
Rattle up a Hog tanT to tloant a ti!
.;-Alleged of Rob. Isgersoll clb t : Marge rriite