TERMIO OF IPIIIILIOATION. The 'BRADFORD IMPORT= Is ribilshed-11/11 Thursday tecoming by 000DliCa 11; at One Dollar per annum. In Metallic/. ANT Advertising in all cases-exclusive at sato scr ption to the paper. SPECIAL NOT WES Inserted at TIM CZETZper lino for first insertion, and riFit cis me per iftie for each sunsequeut insertion, but no notice inserted fur less than fifty cents.. YEARLY ADVERTISEMENTS will beinsert ed at reasonable rates. A‘lininlxtrater's and Executors-Notices, .24 Auditors Notlces,42.so;l3usinessCardl, five Goss, (per year) SS, additionallines el each. Yearty advertisers are entitled to quarterly h stages. Transient advertisements mnst paid fur Da advance. • . Ali resolutions of associations; cOmMunicitiens of ;United or individual interest and notices of marriages or deaths,exceeding five linesare char& ed Far. wc eXTS per line, but it mplenolices mar. rlages said deattiswill be published wittionteliarge. "he RZPORTIIII having &larger circulation than any other paper in the county, mates it thei best 3 dv - ertislng medium in Northern Pennsyllardt. JOB PRINTING of with kind, In plain and fancy.colors, done with neatness and illspatch. Handbills, Blanks, Cards, Pamphlets, Bill b eads, Statements, kc.,ofeveryvarietyand style,printed at the shortest notice. The RSPOISTLII office is 'well supplied with power presses,a good Smart. wont of new type, and everything in the prkoting Ine can be executed in the most artistiMniianner and at the lowest rates. TERMS INVARIABLY ; vastness garb!. DA.VIES, ATTORNICTS-AT-LAW, SOUTH SIPE OF WARD ROUSR. Due 2345 , SAM BUCK, TT0RNE17,42.44,W, N0r.13:0 O cc— At Treasnrer's °trice, In Court ilonso AV . & A. THOMPSON, • . AT TORN KP. 8•AT.1.4.W. TOWANDA, PA. I iiii o In !demur Block s over C: T. Kirby's Drug Store. A lt business intrusted to their tare will be attended to promptly. Especial attention given to Oat ins agal mit the United MUCH fur PENSIONS. Dot; NTI ES, PATENTS. etc; to collections and to the settlement of dercaent's estates. Apr.7•Bl-yl BEVERLY SMITH. & .NuOKIILVDERS, And dealers In 'Fret Saws and Amatours` Supplies Send fur price -lists. I.:Eruiert.n Building. 1;ox t 512, Towanda, Pa F:L.JrOLLISTER, D. D. S., D K. .A" rr s 7' (tuccu.ssoi to D r. E. ii. Angle). OFFICE—Second floor of Dr. Pratt's °ince. . Triwanila, January 6, 1881 AIADILL & KINNEY, • ATTOUNEYSiAT-LAW. Office—Rooms formerly occupied by Y. M. C. A. Reading Room. J. mADILL. 308,80 . O. D. KANNEY. JOHN W. CODDING, Arrinis ET-AT-LAW, TOWANDA, PA. thliee, over Kirby's Drug st6re THOMAS E. MYER ATTOUNLY-AT:LAW, P EN N'A :!: , I.tember I .i. 79 pECK. & OVERTON A2TOUIEY:4-AT LA*, TOWANDA, VA. OVNIZTON, p ODNEY A. MEIIO3II, TyilltNEY AAP., . T4)wAs DA, PA., fur of Patents. Particular attention paid in the Orph:tui Court and to the settle tneut of e,tates. i i t :timitanyes Block, I May 1, `79.. OVERTON Sz, SANDERSON, A TTOWN EY-AT-LAW - TOWANDA, IA. E. Ov E ItTON. .1 it Air- .J.F..StSUP, ATTOItNEY -k:CD COUNSF.T.LOII-AT-LAW, .NION ' TROSE, PA. J wig.) Jessup having resi/led the practiceof the law in Northern Pennsylvania, will attend to any legal iniNine ,, re:+te‘l to him in Bradford county. persons - vr - r,hiiiiv to consult him, can call on H. St renter, Esq., Towanda, ra., when au appointment caa he male. STREETEIi, ATTOILNEY AND COUNSELLOR-AT-LAW, TOWANDA, PA. _ Fel, 27, '79 1 4 1 4 L. HILLIS , • ATTOIINET-AT-LAW, ' • I TOWAN DA, - PA. (novll-75, IMAM E. BULL, NERVEYOR. ENGINEKRING. - SUIZVZTING AND DRAFTING. (Mire with G. F. Mason, over Patch & Tracy, Mai ti street, Towanda, PiL. ELSBREE Sr, SON, ATTORNEY S•AT•LAW, TOWANDA, I'A. S. C. f:r.,:l:i:k: 10 IIN W. MIX, 'ATTWINEY-AT-LAW, AND U. S. COMMISSIONER, TOWANDA, PA. " liPlco—North Side Public Square. Jan:1,1875. t ANDREW WILT, ti • A TTOICNSY-AT-LAW: lee- - Itemis • Block, Maio.st,.. over .1. L. Kent'', 1. - 11:1 - c7Tili - ai..14. May Lo cousulted lu German. (April 12,16.) W . J. - YOUNG, ALTTor.srEy-AT-LAW, TOWANIIA, PA , P,O--:— . S . tereur 11leek; Park street, up stairs:! L)R. S. M. WOODBURN, Physi cian and Surgeon. °dace at residence, on Main street. first dour north of M. E. Church. To an,; a. April 1, tSd. Vir B. KELLY, D . ENTlSlo— Office V • over V. E. Rosenfied's, Towanda, Pa. ceth Inserted ou Gold, Sliver, Rubber, and, Al um base. Teeth extracted with Out pain. 0ct.31-72. - Li D. PAYNE, M. 04 14. , PUYSICIAN AND Sur.GtON. Mice over \lontansea• stoic. office hours from 10 to 12 A. al., aud frion 2 to 4 P. 11. Special attention given to 111SEASES S DISFASES and. TIIIEVIr. TILE EAR 4 1 -1- R S:. E. J. PERIUGO: TEACIUdtt OF P1.V. 4 40 -AND ORGAN. given In Thorough BMA and Harmony I'llll ivation of the voice a speclattx... Located at J. VAnt.l.mr., , , State Street. Reference: l!olmea rassage. Towanda, l'a., March 4, .18110, W. .11„ YA. N COVtiTY SLTERINTENDE Oltee day last Satnntay of each month ; over Turner & Gordon's Drug Store, Towanda, ra. Towanda, JUtle 20. IS7B. el S. RUSSELL'S kJ• GENERAL INSURANCE AGENCY Mray2S-70tt. TO'VVANDA, PA. DWARD WILLIAMS, J PEACTIC.IL PLUilL'lni & GAS FITTER. Place of bustnass. a tow doors north of Post-oMce. Piutbing. Gas Fitting, Repairing rumps.of all kinds. and all kinds of Bearing promptly'attended to. All wanting work In his line should give him a rail. - Dec. 4. 1879. F IRST NATIONAL BANK, TOWANDA, PA. • EIIPtTAI, PAID IN $123 i 000 RV F U ND 66,000 This Bank offers unusual facilities for the trans a. t pm" ot a general banking business. . N. N. BETTS, Baader. ,IOS. POWELL; President, HOUSE, CORNER MAIN A WASHINGTON STREETS FIRST WARD, TowA;CDA, PA. }teals at all hours. Terms to suit the times. Large stable attached. - WM. HENRY, rROFBIZTOS. Tosnintla. 31.11 Y 2,1241. AP" COPIES, OF THE ROAD LA.-1 ,-- hu lA, um s Th sOLae. TOWAIf DA, r,. 70frAiDA, PE9IV•4 V. H. THOMPSON, EDM ^ Atak A. THOMPSON March I, 1881 BENJ. M. PECK .101 IN F. SANDEIISON L. ELsituss. Aril 1, 1.87-9 COODRiCH & MITCHoOCK, Publishers. VOLUME XIE. am:i CI A HEATHEN TEMPLE OUT OP DEBT. As near a temple once I stood, lsaw a mighty multitude Of heathen, prostrate on the ground, While music titled the ale around ; Tiro hundred bells In concert met, Proclaimed "Thin temple's out of debt." The priests arose wild the crowd ; With stouter voice they shout aloud . "We've cheered the heart of Guadoma, " By rearing up this pagoda." The bells around, with wondrous 'glee, Ging loud, "From debt this house Is free." Thls house we freely dedicate To all the gods, both small and great." The people rose, and upward went A shout 'whkh e'en the heavens rent ; •• Great Guatlamal we give to thee Vila costly fans—• from debt *Us free. , " A Christian church I entered then, Within Were womem - erlijren, nteit, A deep-toned organ sounded loud To gratify ttle r !weil.dressed Crowd, But now and then. , twas hearrt to say, "I am to debt and should not play.; The org.trilst the'lteysilid fret • But stilr'twould say "I am in debt:" The thundering bass, the . shirp falsett,' Repeat the sound, "I am in debt:" And cede did all else forget, And cried aloud "In debt in debt I" •f:-; Tho parson preached and prayed and wept, 'The people thoughtless hoard or slept ; The cause of this now understand, When on the wall I saw a band In awful form, with "Ichabed A debt is on this house of God-: Just o'er his head where all might see, The band records, "Ye have robbed rne ; Your vain oblations 1 despise, They're despicable In mine eyes ;' In vain.ye have together While still my housegremains In debt " The preacher cried, ...Awake I awake I Your pride and thoughtlessness forsake ; Your Clod reproach and rob no more, Ills free forgiveness now implore. Repent I His house redeem from debt I" Echo responding eays " - From (talk:" Tturried - am wept In deep distress To see flu church's worldliness. Lord In by churches can there be . So great a lack of piety Ma people. thoughtlessly forget Their vows, and leave thy house In debt "Why weopest thou ?" a heathen said, "Are ail thy friends and kindred dead ?" Ah no 7 the chtirch through gold is cursed; lie said, "of sinners you're the worst We're nut as bad as Christians yet ; Our gods have temples out of debt." A Pyramid of Cabbages. "Why, where are_y,* going, Isabel Eastman? Not :into4_ the 'farmyard, surely?" . • " Yes, Miss- LOW° ,Mayell, Lam going into the farmyard, surely," `re plied Isahel,.with a .mischicvous light in her big gray eyes, and a char Ting sniile on her prettily curved lips, as she opened the gate leading to that place. "Nowhere else can we be.con tidential without, running the risk of beillg overheard. 'The farmer's fam ily are in the - orchard ; Charley and a half-doien of his playmates are playing in the flower garden; there'S a ; young couple ,in the parlor at the piano,-he making love, .and •she not making any music, and a still yOur,g er-couple. whispering and giggling in the bay-window; auntie is, in my room enjoying Splendid Misery; and grandma is in auntie's room darning stockings. And so, if you really want to hear 'right away' why I am here instead of at one of my usual sum mer haunts, you must e'en follow me to' the farmyard. Besidei which " —speaking with increased animation —"I have lately, strange as it may seem to you, developed quite a pas sign for farmyards.'! - ,"It doesn't seem at all strange to nre, my dear, for during our ten years' friendship .you've always been develoving some old passion or other. But I've never lost faith in you. Lead on; I'll follow." And stepping daintily and grace fully, unimpeded by trains or- demi trains, the young girls threaded their way through the crowd of hens and chickens holding a loud and lively conversation preparatory to going to roost; past •the cows waiting to be milked, and turning - their heads to look after, the intruders with great solemn brown eyes; and old Low= head, the white horse, slaking his thirst at the watertrough—to the ex treme end of the yard, where a pile of cabbages, neatly arranged in the form of a pyramid, confronted them. "Behold," said Isabel, stopping before it, "" how Nature - lends herself to .Art ! (That sounds well, though I don't know as it means anything). This mighty structure, formed of the green and - Suicculent cabbage, is no doubt the work of some humble field laborer, who, having read of the Pyr amids of Egypt—incited-thereto, no doubt, by the newspaper paragraphs about our own dear pbelisk—has sought to vary •the monotony of cab bage life by building as.close an imi tat•on as his material wouldnllow. Let us hope that this flight may lead to a higher one, and that the cabbage man, like the butter- woman, may_ meet with, public recognition and be crowned with a wreath of laurel: l Often from the humblest kources springS the greatest works of genius. Burns—Lottie"--breaking off sud. denly, and assuming a reproachful tone—"why do you break in upon my eloquence with rude and-unseem ly laughter?'. "I was about to repeat to you Longfellow's last, poem; now, I won't. See what your frivolity has cost. you! And take a scat on the extreme base of the pyr..mid (kpre fer the mound of sods in this secluded corner, sacred to somebody's take and hoe), while I go back to the common place." "Thank you, Bell dear, 11l share the sods with you, if you please. I have an idea that a cabbage would prove a very uncomfortable seat un der any circumstances. Aid do`fp back to the "common place, that's a darling, for I'm dying to know what has happened since.we parted an age ago." "An age -twat --One year - and a half exactly. I was then engaged to Claude Fenner. Pretty name, isn't it? And ` he was a pretty little fel low, with nice curly hair, and lovely blue eyes, with lashes long enough for a bang, small dimpled hands, and not an ideain his little round head. My mother—with all, due deference I say it- - and his mother—to whom I acoord much leas deferenoe—mado the match when I was eightie s and Mil CI unmade it at twenty.. I never loved Chiude. How could I ? And' he "levet - loved me... _Bow could he ? We were the victims of circumstances and match-making mammas, and two mortals more unlike it would be hard to find. He was the most conven tional of men, and would have , nearly died if at one of those dreary dinner parties in which his:isoul delighted scmebody had wbispet:ed to him that his back hair wasn't pilled straight, while I have often been strongly tempted' to shock . the full-dressed Vi guests, at e very start, -by' asking for some more soup. . "Well, last June, at Newport, my diminutive friend, Eda Smythe, with a head the exact counterpart of Claude's, appeared upon the scene, and she and my betrothed fell in love with each other at first sight. Mam ma fretted and fumed and scolded, and asked me, with tragic emphasis, how I could look calmly on and see so many thousands of dollars being lost- to the family, for She seas sure that, artful minx 'would persuade poor, dear Claude to elope or some thing; but I continued to look calmly on, until one evening Claude, witti:n deep sigh, kissed Eda's hand as he bade her 'Good night,' when I turned suddenly upon then, and bade them follow me to my room. There I for-. gave—quite in the manner of a stage parent—the infatuated midgets their base duplicity, gave them my bless ing, kissed them both, and,:, as soon as they, beaming with joy; had de parted, I, also beaming with joy, and not quite in the manner of a stage parent, except perhaps a - Pinafore, • eXcentela pirouette—a mad, revolv ing pirouette—in honorof my newly acquired freedom. Mamma was awfully angry, but they're awfully happy, and they've named the baby after me. My chains (they were never very heavy, I must confess) broken beyond repair,-, I flirted more than ever, all the time growing as weary as could be of hearing the same COM- pliments. and ztiaking the same re plies, and abing this thing in the morning, and-that in the afternoon, and the other in the evening,' and at last I- fled from • the old familiar throng precipitately one rainy day, leaving my maid to pack . my ward robe and follow. And I determined that this summer I would try pas tures entirely new. Auntie had often told me of the-pleasant, old-fashioned farmhouse which she discovered years ago, and I coaxed mamma—promis ingto take Charley, our youngest, who is the worrit' of her life, with me—to let me spend three out of ray four out-of-the•city-months here. And, Lottie, I have never been as happy before, and I am firmly con vinced that here I have found the kind of life that would suit me best. I was born to love cows and chick ens, to make butter, to build pyra mids of butter." "You !" laughed her friend. "I think I •see you in the dairy in neat cambric dress with sleeves rolled to the elbows, stamping the pats of but ter with your monogram—for that's as near as you'd ever come to churn ing ; and in the hennery, scattering corn to the chickens from a dainty white apron, a curiously shaped rus tic 'hat meanwhile shading your rose and-cream complexion from the sun. You born to love cows and chickens! —you who have reigned a "city belle fur four long years:" "And for three been- most ready to abdicate. By-the•bye"—with - an as sumed carelessness—" have you seen the young farrndi, the only child of our host and hostess?" "Certainly not ;" and Miss Mayell glanced at her watch. "I only ar- - rived two hourg ago, and have seen no one but you and your aunt. But I can see him in ',my mind's eye'— tall, ungainly, and speaks through his nose; eats with his knife; says 'llow?' and stares at you as though pill I were a being from another sphere." "'tour mind's eye needs an eye glasS, Miss Mayell. Its vision is weak. Tall, troad shouldered and gainly, if I mifty use the word as mean it. I siiw him tossing hay to. day, and he looked . like an Apollo who had exchanged his lyre for a pitchfork, and profited by the change. And his table manners are quite as exquisite, as your own, Miss Mayell ; and he has a deep full voice, and does not say 'how ?' and has scarcely looked, let alone 'stared,' at me. I have. an idea that he-regards girls of our ilk with a quiet scorn, and thinks , of us. if he thinks-of us at all, as hot house flowers, not to be compared with the daisies growing wild in the meadows.' - "How long have you- been here, Isabel ?" "Six weeks:" 2._tiguite lonienough, I think. You had better go away. You are re garding this young farmer, who nev er looks .at you—l don't believe that, hoWeVer—too sentimentally. You might come to 41ieve that you had fallen in love with him. "And if I did, what harm could result from that ? He'll never come to believe has fallen in love with me. lie is ,so different from the soft-voiced, . perfumed darlings by whom I bare been surrounded all city life that, to use your own words, with a different application 4 I stare at /lint as though he were a being from tinother sphere. The young farmer reads Lottie and reads books which, though printed in - our native language, would be Greek to yon and me; and he numbersthe poets among his friends. I peeped into his room one day, and saw them all, in - blue and gold, on his book-shelf, 'He is an honest, manly fellow, with no false pride about him. I was idiot 'enough to fancy that he might be the least bit confused wheit-I first saw hiiii at work in his Ted shirt and coarse ; very broad•brimmed straw• ,hat, but he saluted me as calmly as though: he had been arrayed - in, the finest innients. And his name is Nathaniel—not as pretty as Claude, but it means 'the gift of 'God.' The gift of God, indeed, his old, , mother says he has been to her, and 40 will he be to the woman he tnanies. 'And that woman must be a bee, not buttetfiy. -- - Lottie".•n: with sudden BEE EN MI = =I EEC E TOWANDA, BRADFORD COUNTY, PL, 'THURSDAY MORNING, AUGUST 11, 1881. --•- f -;"-• NEEMMNI fierceness=," if ever you tell, 111 kill you." "My dear; when I do, you may. -Isabel, I begin to suspect that you are really in: lovelvith Nathaniel— n another of your odd passiomi--:and that beneath your butterfly wings lurks the spirit of the bee. And I may live to see you help the fork .ARIW toss the htiy, build obel isks and pyramids of cabbages, copy celebrated sculptures hi beets, and heap turnips in imitation of 'classic old ruins." - • "I fear me not Miss Mayen. 'For though I would be proud to share in each and every one of those oecUpa tions, as soon would I expect that compact mass of greens to suddenly tremble to its ba'se and then topple over, separating one huge body into a hundred or more heads, as dream that Nathaniel Leigh would ever care for me." The pyramid trembled to its base, and its apex tumbled to the ground. The girls rose iiuickly from their throne of sods, and with little shrieks fled to a safe distance, then turned to look again. It toppled over, its many heads rolling in every direction, and in the place it had occupied stood the young farmer. - "Lbless your brother for building a pyramid' to-day, Miss Eastman,' . ' he said, "though he did unload on of the market wagons all ready for market for the purpose And I bless the happy chance that kept me from the orchard, and sent me here to fall asleep under it, to waken at the sound of your voice. Spellbound I remained concealed, half believing that. I 'was still dreaming, to , prove the falsity of the old proverb, 'Listeners nevet hear any good of theinselves.' But can I--dare I hope that grains of earnest mingled with your jest, and that the pats of butter in our dairy may some day be stamped with our monogram?. Stand my friend, Miss Mayell, and you shall. not be forgotten when we make the beet statutes and the turnip ruins." "Well, 'pon my word !" exclaimed Miss Mayell, with a frank' glance of admiration at the handsome young fellow, and a smile that threatenel to become a laugh in another mo ment,. And "of all things I"esaid Miss Eastman, a lovely blush mantling her face ; and then youth and fun conquered all three, and they until the *farmyard _resounded .:and Lion, the watch-dog, came . bounding toward them, asking with loud.bow wows what was the matter. A few weeks after Miss Isabel Eastman became Mrs. Nathaniel Leigh, her husband, lying at her feet in the orchard; and locking up into her face with adoring eyes, said : " never would have gained courage to have told you of 'my love, though I loved you from the very first, had I not- heard from , your own sweet lips that you cared ' a little for me. What good spirit, my blessed, sent you of all places to the farmyard that after noon ?" "It-was an imp sent me there," she answered demurely. " Mother"s youngest, who whispered to me, as I left the house with Lottie, 'There's something jolly way back in the farmyard--a pyramid of cabbagesl— at Leigh's fast asleep behird it."'.4-Harper's Weekly. Making Thtngs Over. , "Maria,' . ' said Mr. Jones upon one . of his worrying days, "it seems to me you might be more economical ; now there's rayed clothes, why can't you make them: over for the children in stead of giving them away ?" "Because they're worn out when' you're done with them," answered Mrs. Jones. "It's no use making over things for the children that; won't hold together; yoticouldn't do it yourself, smart as you are." "Well," grumbled Jones,"l would n't have closets full of things mildew= ing for want of wear if I was a wo man, that's all. A penny saved is a penny earned." That was in April. One warm day in May Mr. Jones went prancing through theiclosets looking for some thing he couldn't find and turning things generally inside out." "Maria," he screamed, my gray alpaca duster . ?" "Made it 'over far Johnny." "Ahem Well, where's the brown men ore I bought last summer t" " Clothes•bag " mumbled 'Mrs. Jones, who' seemed tc,,have a difficul ty in her speech at that moment. "Just made it into a nice one !" '‘Where -Are my lavender pants?' yelled Jones; 7 "Cut them over for Willie." "Heavens!" groaned her husband;. then in a voice ot- thunder.. •"Where have my blue suspenders got to P' "Hung •-the • baby-jumper• with them." "Maria!" ;asked . the. - astonished . man in a sullued - voicc, "would you mind telling me *bit you have done with my silk hat; you haven't made that over for the baby3ave you?" - "Oh no, dear," answered. his wife theerfully,; "Tye used that for a hanging basket. It is full of plants and looks lovely."' ;„ JOnes never me ntions the word economy or sUggestimaking over— . he has had,enough of .'s ---er44111101,-4.- , NEVER marry for wealth, but • remem ber- that it is just as rally to love -4' girl who has a kick -house with a Mans3rd roof and a silver-plated dcor'bell - as one who hasn't anything but an auburn head and an amiable diSposition.—E.rehonge. • "Tr you find a locomotive rushing at you," says - a Virginia philosopher, "spring into the air and come down - on the cow catcher." That's good "spring." advice, but onr Midsummer plan would be to step elf l-- e track.Derroit "- Press. "1 4M waiting, my darling, for thee," be warbled t and yet, when the old Man threW up a chamber window and assured him that "he'd be down in a minute," he lost his grip on the inclodyand went out of the waiting business.—Bartford Times. A M3N =lied ont to his creditor, "Get out, you ornithorhynens 1" The marl de parted meekly. " Who's that?" inquired a friend of the speaker. "An ornithor hymns." - How's that?" " How's that?" " Webster defines 'him es ' a beast with a bill: "...Rachange. Lazuli= le the Immorality of ''''''' , :i 4 :: ,, F , q , • ,- ;: AM. - ;:.:,::,..,:.r.e-' 4 :„....7 --. . .. . •- t; :ii ' ' ' .„. . . ~. 4 ~., 7.-i , , 1 . '' t ~.. - 5. , '-'f-- - .. -, ; ."--"- , •_'."..e - i:'... - .--",',": -- -.. '-, • .. ' _ . . 7 ' . ...', , ,, r .; 5 .'' ' f.",'-, - 3. .s:e :'-..ft'sr * . ..• -• ;'.. - 7,t , i, ' -. - , ,- -i.. . .. , . . ~'. t• I INEI =ll .... 111101.11DLIIVii 01;DENUISCIATION _FROM ANT Q .. trAIiTIOL. - Garfield on Msaasination. The official report in , .the Congres sional Record of Saturday, April 14, 1865, 'recites that Mr. Garfield; .in the Rouse of Representatives, 4fter Prayer by Chaplain Boynton, moved to dispense. with the reading of the Journal, and said :-" Mr. Speaker, I desire to more. that thin ' House do now adjourn. And before the vote upon that motion is taken,' I desire to say a few words. This day. Mr. Speaker, wilt be slaty memorable so long as this Nation shall endure, which - God 'grant may be 'till the last syllable of reeor.led • time,' when the. volume of ref orded history shall be sealed tip and, delivered to the Omnipotent Judge. In all future time on the recurrence of this day, I doubt not that the citizens of this republic Fill meet in- solemn assem bly to reflect on the life and charac ter of Abraham .Lincoln, and the aw ful tragic event of April. 14, 1865 an event unparalleled in the history of nations, certainly unparalleled in our own. It is eminently proper that this House Should this day place upon its records a memorial of that event." After a. brief eulogy upon the late President, and a pathetic al lusion to the circumstances of his death, Mr. Gartleled concluded; , "It waano one mart who killed Abraham 1.4 . 0e01it ; it was the embodied spirit of treason and slavery, inspired with fearful ; and despairing hate, that * t ruck him down in the moment of tfie nation's supremest joy. Ali, sir, there are times.in the history of men and nations where they stand so sear the veil that separates . mortals firm the immortals, time from eternity and men from their God, that they lean almost hear the beatings and feel the pulsations Of the heart of the Infinite. Through such a time.' i has this nation. passed. When 250„900 brave spirits passed from the field of honor through that thin veil to the rresence-ollod, and when at last its parting folds admitted the martyr President to the company of the 'dead heroes of the Republic, the. na tion stood so • near the veil that the whispers of i God were heard by the children of 'pen. Awe-stricken by His voice, the American people knelt in tearful reverence and made a sol emn covenant with Hint and' with each other that this nation should,be saved from its enemies; 'that all its ,glories should be restored and on the . ruins of slavery and treason the tem ples of freedom and justice should survive forever. It remains for us, consecrated -by that great event, and under a covenant with God, to keep that faith, to go forward in the great work until it shall be completed. Following the lead of that great man, and obeying the high'behests of God, , let us remember that . . 'lie has 'minded forth a trumpet that shall never call retreat; '• • lie Is sifting out the hearts of men before , Ills judgment seat ; lie swift, my soul, to answer him ; be ijnbllanti my feet, - For “od Is marcblng on.''" At the conclusion of this preora ion the House silently adjourned. Buying at Wholesale. The other day, soon after a' city woman had decided to build a big strawberry shortcake for supper, she heard the musical voice of a peddler crying: ~ "Gleat big strawberries eight cents a quart—three quarts for twen tive cents." "Nothing like taking advantage of discounts," said the woman, as she tan for a . dish, and in five minutes she had her three quarts of berries and the peddler had her silvercair ter. Time Pissed on. Shet sat• in a rocking chair looking over the lus cious fruit; all of a sudden she turn ed pale and began breathing bard. It was not a case of heart disease or spinal 'meningitis, , nor had a new .wrinkle suddenly developed itself on her forehead. She had simply fig tired : "Eight cents aquart—three quarts for twenty-five cents--three : times eight is twenty-four!" Her son came in just as she had slipped a revolver into her pocket and tied her bonnet strings into a square knot, and when he asked her where she was going, she solemnly replied : "Harry, I am going out to kill a strawberry peddler—a seven story hypocrite and deceiver, who gave me 'wholesale rates on these berries. Tell your father to engage two good law-: yers and be at the Central station in half an hour.", I But the strawberry man had: fumed on, had sought oth • shady neighbor hoods, and she rat neetto her dark ened home with a toothache under her ear, and her h art beating 115 degrees in the shad . The Manuscripts on Which the Bible Revisi is Basel. The original ma uscripts of the gospels and epistles lave long since disappeired, and all that we now have to depend upon for ouritransla tions are copies, ancient '.v,ersions,• translations, - and the quotations Made by the Fathers of the Church. The manuscripts of the - New Testa molt arevf two kinds—the" u al," the oldest class of manuscri 6: writ ten in capitals and wit*, punetua; Lion, and the " cursive' . , , -u, anuscripts, so_called from their I ,;ng written in a running hand that' began to be used in the tenth century.. Those of, the old class were written, between the fourth , and tenth centuries, the others after the tenth .century. ,Of the old manuscripts there are 130 in existence; of the new about 1,500. The very old.and very valuable man 'useripta are only five. . Of these • the Alexandiian ,Codex` was originally discovered'atl_ was, sent and was sent to Charle 11, in 1628. It is now ` in the British Musefim._ Nothing Is known of the origin of this;: mtl it is usually assigned to the middle Of the fifth century: It is much mutilated, `twenty-four-chapters of the first if3los peli two-of the fourth, and eight of one of :the - Bpietles being Misiling. The neat. is the Vatican :mannscripti supposed to have been Written in the fourth uentury. A copy of this_ was never made tat .1848orkeeleo simae "where's EOM PIM 4: lEEE BE IMOSI s.'~?'i : , • - , l .''4i:•:;,','„) - z-,. M3ll was taitted:' The condition of thin is ' mucit more perfect' :The third man uscript is that in,the'NationalLibra ry at Paris, whither it- was brought by Catherine de Medic's. This had been 'over:written--that is; t,he parch ment bad been used for= other, writ ings ; but, in spite of that, the origi naLhas been deciphered. ;`lt is as signeo to the early part of the Nth century. The fourth manuscript is that now at Cambridge. This is the least valuable, as it is much. mutilat- Cd. It belongs to the sixth century. The manuscript round is .1844 in the Convent of St. Catherine, on -Mount Sinai by Tiechendotf, and copied by him in 1859, is the , most valuable of the five, as it contains the New . Tea tatnetit complete. -This is supposed to hive been written in- the fourth century. None of these most, valua ble authorities were consulted in pre paring any of the English versions ot the Bible, even that ot King James' time., The Latin 'Vulgate, the plen tiful cursive manuscripts, and the translations were used... Errors and additions like-the Doxology at the end of the Lord's Prayer had crept into the translations, even Into the Syrian, which was as old as the sec ond century. The Latin Vulgate was probably 'an excellent transla- Lion, as it must have been made with in a•few years after the death of . St. John. The changes:that have .1'7%, been made have been made Ott when the weight of authority left rib doubt of their necessity. The text is not a question of taste, of like and dislike, but of hiatoric testimony'; and the revision represents •the pre vailing view, at the present day, as to the prepollerance .of this testi- Mental -Labor: Mental labor is more exhausting than manual labor, because it involv es a greater expenditure of nervous force. The cases where muscular ex ertion is habitually carried to excess are very rare, while there are frequent intitarices• of prolonged intellectual overwork. Nature has' provided limitations to physidal effort beyong which few men , arc likely to go ex cept on unusual occasions; and_ he who taxes his strength of thew and sinew too much is always conscious of it. But a man may overtax his nerves and suffer from it,,andryet not be aware what it is that hurts him. Such a man may ascribe his illness to malaria, sewer gas, indigestion, or any of a dozen other imagined caus es, utterly unconscious of the real fact that it is none of them, but mere ly using his brain too - much which has broken him down and will inevit ably flail' him tunless he halts in his , suicidal course.= The workingman sacalled because he toils with-his hands rather than with his head, finds a continued re cuperation of his expended ; ' energies in the sweet boon of sleep. The rest that follows muscular fatigue is a positive luxury, and the more thor oughly tired a man is the more com pletely he enjoys it. The truth of this remark requires no proof; ii is a mat ter of common experience, and -has always been, and always will be. In this respect the manual laborer has a great advantage over the men tal laborer. . .The weariness that comes after protracted nervous exer cise is of a very different and far less satisfactory sort. While the man wholhas toiled hard physically all day feels a delicious drowsinees steal over him at night, and can sleep soundly on the soft side o-f a plank or almost anywhere so that he can but lie down, the other kind of a workingman tqo often feels no such respite when he retires. Slumber &- Ones. to be his bedfellow. He tosses. and turns and the more he turns and tosses the wider awake he gets. The close of a days work with the muscles is the end of it, for that day at, least. • When the task is finished it is done with. But the head unlike the limbs, is unfortunately ,apt to 'keep on working hours after. A man cannot stop thinking when he, pleases. He may lay aside the mat, ter in hand and try his utmost to worry himself no.more about it till he has had a good night's rest, but he finds this by no means an easy thing to do. His mind runs right on like an eight-day clock just wound up. His nerves are excited and his brain in a whirl. He has summoned a genii to his aid that will not withdraw at his bidding., The toiler at the anvil or loom or Ohw finds a ready refuge from his weariness in lefreshiug slum ber; but this cannot- be counted on with confidence by his brother who drudges in a counting - room 0 of fi ce. —Philade(phia Reco r d. I. MRS. PARTINGTON •AND 'What. do you think will become.al you ?' said Mrs. Partington to Ike, as they were going from church. The question relateil to the yiing-gentl man's conduct lin the church where he had tipped oiler the cricket, - peeped over the' gallery, attracted the atten tion of a boy iu the pew below by dropping a pencillied with a string upon his head, and- had drawn a hid coils picture of a dog upon the snow white cover of the best hymn book. 'Where'do you expect to go to ?' It was a question that the youngster *had never before , had put to him so closely, and he said he didn't know, but thought he'd' like to go up in a balloon. 'l'm afraid you'll go down if you dork't mend your ways, rather than go up.. You've been acting very badly in meeting,? continued she, 'and I declare I could hardly keep from boxing your ears in the midst of the lethargy. You didn't pay no interest, and I lost all the threads of the sermon through your tricks. l :A didn't take your thread,' said who thought she alluded to the string by which the pencil waslowered up on the boy, 'that was a fishing line.' . 'O, Isaac,' continued ahe, earnestly, 'what do you: want to act so like the probable son for? Why don't yor try to be like' D#vid and Deuterono my that we read !about, and actin a reprehensible manner 7' The appeal was touching, and Ike was silent thinking of the sling that David tilled"' Goliath with, And won. Idering If be ()outdo% 'make one,' ii: - 1 , - • - The 'TMost-Enduring Monument. site anaybur o' mine Walked down :to - de shores - of de mystic - Aber an' crossed ober wid` de endless pur cetthun,, solemnly began ~.-Brother Gardner in the Limekiln Maw- 'He had money an' property an' posishun, but he drops outer din lifelike a stone tossed into le oshnn. I sat down in' thought an' thought, but I could not remember dat dis man had eber, won w friend by his sympathies, warmed a heart by , his charity, or made any one's burden de lighter i by a brother ly word: As de funeral goes past dar will - be no siglis; as de pureeshun turns, into de cemetery men will hardly gib it , a glancii. He came on airth,libed out his time, an'-he passes away 'Without leavin' toot-print be hind. He was not a enll4l man, but if he bad been I should have felt all de worse. . None - of you am so poo' dat you nebber hab calls to share wid some one'more hungry; none o' you bah' Bich poo' speech dat you can't stop to speak a few kind words to dose in sorrow., Dar am a sboiv for ebery , man human bein' on airth to, make his mark: , When . Uncle ,Bolloy Williams died a hundred women shed tears, a hundred men had de heart aclicand twice dat number of chi ll 's looked 'down on dillace of de dead an' turned away wid sobs , in deir frosts. Who was lie? Nuffin but a • • old slave man. What was he worf?. Nuffin but de close on his back. But be his mark. He hail kind - words for achin' hearts; he had a willint ban' fur de weak wn' helpless; be had soft words for well in passion, in' strong words for de cause of right. Ebery house had an open door fur him ' and ebery chile met him wid heart full of trust. He sleeps up dar in Potter's field, with out a mark on his grave, but his deeds an' his name ar' oftener spoken of.dan any of de hundreds who sleep beneaf de big monuments. Make friends. Make 'em by deserving friendship. Lib to enjoy life, but lib to leave behind. you sunthin' better dan a name fur an, epitaph cut in cold marble. One sigh of regret---one - single tear—one sorrowin' word dat you am called from airth away, will lie a grander monument dan de bands Of man eber yet put up.' Brother Gardner on- Education; "It-am not edication dat makes de man, any mo' dan it am de har ness dat makes de boss. I daily meet enthusiasts on this subjeek. I know white men who emagine dal a son's, fuchnr am ' all 'serenely settled as soon ,as he ' eau write fo' lines of Latin an' translate sit lines of Greek": I know eull'd inen who have worked night an' _day , an' world clothes an' Jibed on nullin to cram der brigs full of- educashun. It am true dat,, de more edueashun we have , de less vice we have, but down go too fur. America stands to-day in de fr9nt rank of nashuns; an'- yit her leadin' men am not her college grad uates. Take de men in De t roit v:ho were educated de mos' an' you b'ar de leas' of dem. - Dey am not at de .head of our big factories, in our big factories, in our big stores, or plan nin' an' carrin' out our big enterpris es.. No'- dan five hundred college an' high-sficool graduates am- book keepin' an' stot-clerkin' in dis werry city on salleries of less dan $2O a week.: Fine me a college graduate among de merchants. Fin. , me one along de ribber front. Fin' me one among de ship-owners. Fin' me one among de tobacconist:lt. Does a col lege educashrui direct de 'affairs, of our big stove works, our ...locomotive *torts or our dozen railroads? "I tell you, my friends, a boy wid boss sense, in his head to begin on, tempered up with two or three y'ats of union school educashun, will make his way where. a college graduate can't go., Our mos' successful busi ness men am almost self educated. Men who nebber saw a college have invented our reapers, mowers,' sew ing -machines, an' labor-savin' ma ohinery. Men wid deestriek school educashuns have built our biggest ships an' planned our grrindest al.enter prises. Star-gazin' poetry ' an' phil osophy am well nuff, but it h . been native 'genius an' business push which made die kentry what i am. "Fust feet of your boys an' see if do Laid gin 'em any Koss Sense. 7. If he did, it am your duty .to develop an' direct it. If he didn't de only way, to prevent men from callin' dem fules'vin idiots am to pack 'em off to college an' stuff 'em so full of Greek, Latin, Oratory, ancient history' all' classical slop dat Some of it will spill ober vvheneber dey open der. motifs. We will now purceed wid our reglar purceedings.”—Detroit Free Press. A POSTMASTER under Buchanan, finding that he was regnired to re port qUarterly, according to ." in structions," addressed the following official Communication to the Presi dent: • July 9, 1857 ° . ' Mr. Jame - Buchanan, Pre - siding . of the United 'States . • - DEA.atSm : Been required by the instructions of the Post Office to re port quarterly, I know heerwith fool -111 that - pleasin duty by reportin as follows. The , harvisten has been peerty, aiM most of the nabors bave got their cuttin dun.' Wheat is hardly a average crop; on rolen land corn is , yallerish, and wont turn out more than ten or fifteen bushels to the aker. The health of the community is only. tolerable, • cholery has broken out! about 2 and one half miles from here.l There is a powerful awakenin on Mei subject of religion in-the falls nabor-: hood, and many_ Boa's have been made to know their sins forgiven. Mis Nancy 'Smith, a near nabor, had twins day before yesterday. This , is awl I have to report this quarter: Give my respects to . Mrs. Buchanan, and subscribe myself yours truly. P. M. at -- Fulton co., 111. =El= Tlla Boston Tost says: "The toy pis. tot mast go." It goes already with fatal ease, to the small boy's sorrow. "Tng , Torpedo tuldlhe Whale," with variations, was given by the small boy on the Fourth. The whale part Of it he got wheal() reftebed ilfnapt—RocNtifr Jr :6 atg, • $l.OO per Annum In Advance. WHY SHOULD THEY KILL MY BABY." - Why should they kill my baby ~for be seems the • same to me• s . • - - As wbou.-In mornlut.twllight, ',tossed blm cm c my ims, . And sowed fey him hopes to blossom when he should become a man, " • . And• dreamed, fur him such a future as only a - mother east. I looked ahead to the noomittue with proud but ' trembling joy ; . . ~ 7 • - I bad a vision of splendor for my sweet, bright. eyed boy;' . . ' . Ilut little enoisgb I feuded that when be bad gain. ed renown, - , . Base Envy's poisoned bullet would suddenly strike Mar. - down; ' Why should they want to Kill him ? Because he bad cut bis• t way Through poverty's glooiny woodland out Into the open day; " . And sent a shout of good cheer to those who were yet within, That Honor is horn of striving, and Honesty yet can win? Or was It because from boyhood he manfully bared his breast To fight for the poor and loWly, -and aid the sore, oppressed ? • Ah : me, the world Is working upon a treacherous When ho who has struck fort:mankind is stricken _lord by nun Oi did• they begrudge his mother the hand he ' , cached her still, ; . . No odds how - high he clambered up Fortune's gilt taring• hit) ? For in his ion:ingest life-day. he- turned_ frOM the nonM's ofmarth, ; And came' and tenderly kissed me—the mother who gaie bum birth. Shame to the wretch that:struck him', aod•grleves - that it did not kill I • " Asd pity for his poor mother,—lf she be living • May' God in mercyaid him his black crime to atone. And help me to forilye him—l can not do It alone. • - -r4Will'ear/efon. Spoopendyke P;epares a Speech 9pon Wginen." . 'Now, my dear,' said Mr. Spoopen dyke' as he dreiv writing materials towanl him, 'now I wan t your wo- man's wit. . These fellows insist that I must respond to' the toast,! "Wo man," to-morrow bight, andi _must prepare a few remarks. If we both. getat it, we'll get up something nice.' 'What you want?' argued Mrs. Spoopendyke, entering into the spirit ot' the undertaking, and tapping her teeth with her, thimble. "What you want is woman in her various phases.' 'What I want is a speech,' retorted Mr. Spoopendyke. 'They haven't put me down as a panorama. I 'want a short addr!ss, full of good points and pleasant, things about the ladies. Now I. shall begin : "Fellow citizens—" 'But women ain't' fellow citizens. I should-say--' 'You'd say, "fellow black hair," that's what_ you'd sayi. I'm address ing the people, and they are all men ; don't you see ? I've got to corn mence somewhere, and then I' go on "Now fellow citizens, regardirig wo men, our origin, our companios, our posterity, our mothers, our wiv es and our daughters, what more can we say thdri that they give us life, make it happy • and soothe its decline-?" How's that ?' 'ls that the sane' women P Mrs. Spoopeidyke, bending over the table.! 'lt don't strike me that she would care to have it put that. Wtiynotlif r "Yellow citizens : We are assem—"' 'What's the matter With you?' de minded Mr. Spoopendyke. 'l've got to open with a sentiment, and- you can't find anything more graceful than that. Then I will , go on: "She rises in the cradle, reaches'her me ridian at the altar and goes down in a flood of dew at the grave." Can you grasp that?' 'I don't like that as well 'as the other," remonstrated Mrs. Spoopen dyke. 'You make her a mother while she's, a baby, and as for the grave part4ou don't stop to- think that she may be another meridian by get ting married again. I wortid say something like_ this : "Felloiv citi zens: We are assem="' - 'No, I won't either. Who's going to get married again? Can't you see that I'M only carrying out the first idea of origin, companionship. and posterity ? Rising in the cradle -means giving us birth. Now_ you hold up. Suppose I say next : ."We revere her as mother adore her as wife, and , --and,"' say what do we do for her as daughter V 'We provide a home for her. . . ' Yes, of course !' raved Mr. Spoop endyke. That's the . idea! That fixes it. All: youmant- now is two " prolonged laughters," four -" con tinued applause,s, ' one" eatl.wsasm " and "a voice" to be an orator ! ' Fel.' low citizens, we furnish her with poached eggs and beans! Fellow; citizens, we pass her the gravy ! Fel low citizens! " yelled Mr. Spoopen dyke, gesticulating! like a -borse chestnut tree. Fellow.. citizens. if she wants, her beef rare, we give it to her I Fellow citizens,, we give her all the plod gasted , butter she can paste on her bread!' is that what you want me 'to say ? Expect I'm going to•stand around and make a measly use of myself ? Fellow citi zene, as Mother we revere her! Fel low citizens, as wife we adore her Fellow citizens, to help a man get up a•speech she's the dod alamdest donkey that ever ' a family wh-h-h; stalked Mr . Spoopendyke, purple in the face, ' got any more suggestions? Know any more elo quence?'.and the worthy gentle man leaned back in his chair speech less. "Couldn't you leavelier out alto gether?' recommenied Mr. Spoopen- dyke. 'Can't you just revere her as mother and adore her as wife? As for the daughter, you , might pass it Over with saying "Felloip citizens, we are assem—" ' Yes, or- I can cut her throat !' proclaimekAr. Spoopendyke. I can-takuler‘o the pound! I can salt her — down - for winter - use! Dod gast the speUch and Mr. Speopen dyke danced on the fragirients of his *notes. 'To-morrow night I'll an swer that toast by telling what a dod gasted old mule you'd make of any - man that would listen to you,' and Mr. -- Spoopendyke banged - himself into the bed like a beer spigot and went to sleep. %might, Mrs. Spoopen- NUMBER 11 dyke, as she too, i down her hair and put IC4raipp.ht. dou'Aisee why be couldn't . say : Wet assembled here to say something' ,poetleal about women, and the best - I can' say is we show her 'when we don't always love her, and 'we love • her, when we don't ' always show it.' ThaVs sensible and It's .. so," sighed Mrs.Spoopendyke, Mktg over her husband's boots, and then the good W 61322111 opened the window on her spouse's side of the bed, and sticking a few pins in the pillow in case she - should want them in the night, she went prayerfully to sleep.—Brooklyn Eagle; • Looking for Himself. - The ludicrous spectaele"of a man looking for himself and suffering the keenest chagrin at failing to And him self was exhibited. on the Union Pa cific Railroad hot long ago. One astern bound emigrant strayed away,. and the first section of the train stilted without him. Be reached the second - on time, and managed to get away. His friends in the first section of the train missed him and were seized with a dread that he had been killed. The con ductor telegraphed to the second sec tion to look for him and bring him or his body to' Laramie. The pas : . sengers turned out' readily to aid in the search. Foremost among them and' displaying a terrible anxiety was the man for. whom they , were , looking. Ile - hunted for the missing ; emigrant. with a zeal which`could _ only be accounted for by the fact— unknown to him—that he was look- . ing for himself. During the whole day and following night the search was continued, the unconscious cause_-of it suffering-deeply to think that hi had been lost. When 'w renched-Laramie the' idea never oc curred to his friends, that the rail road employeei might - still be looking, for the missing emigrant, when one bright , individual startled the crowd withlhe remark that our hero had been looking for - and failed to find himself. NOT AN EMBEZZLED, AFTER The amende honorable it the Lime kiln Club.- Givadam Jones here - se- . cured the- floor and stated that ho desired to' render justice to an inno cent man who had been dwellino under a cloud of suspicion for the past week. Hon. Burdock Cantelope, acting asjanitor during the absence of Samuel Shin at Long Branch, had embezzled a large sum of money. His account, as handed to the secteF tary for approval, read as follows I quart 011. 1 lampwick I cup Total It appeared_ from the above that - the Hon; Cantelope had used up $l,- 881, for which he could render no account, and the committee on, finance were ordered to investigate and em• powered - to send for persons 'and pa pers. .After long wrestle with the mystery it was discovered that 'the janitor had added.. the year to his eipenses account and thus made himself a seeming embezzler. The investigation had cleared his charac ter as white as bliached cotton at - fifteen cents a yard, and the finance committee had given him a vote of confidence. Thoughtful Thoughts. ~ A_ GOOD life is always great. SILENCE does not always mark wisdom. lIE that sips of many arts &inks of none. " • I • Outs best things are - n..ar us,' Lleelose about our feet. A mAN - must become wise - at his oin expense. • • Oun friends . ' faults reconcile us to their virtues. . DIODERATION is the silken string run ning through all virtues. IN these days . we fight for ideas, and newspapers are our fortresses. To select well among old things is al most equal to inventing new ones. _ Tux pureSt treasure mortal times_ af ford is a spotless reputation. EVERY man,has just . as much vanity as he wants understanding; _ lIE who has' not mastered himself, by whom can he not be overcome? No suxess hits ever come without re )eated struggles alacl fillures. MAN-does not lack so_ much the knowl edge of his duty as hiS will for it. L..— HoAnionic, money is covetousness, squandering it IS equal folly and sin. d POVERTY' may excuse a sbabby-_ - coat, _ but it is no exeuse for shabby mot, THE divinity of charity consists in re- _ lieving - a man's. needs before they are forced upon us. IT was_ a maxim of Euripides, either to keep silencoor to speak something better -• than silence. LOVE penetrates fnrthor into any tomb of darkness and doubt than any other fa culty of the MIT= soul. • . Tim most delicate, the Most sensible of all pleasures, consists in prOntoting the plea/tures of • others. NEVER fear to bring the sublimest mo tive to the smallest duty,. andthe most in finite comfort to the smallest trouble. • POETRY makes hope a formation, grief makes it a solace, and desolation makes it the brightest dower - that adorns earthly creation. FIE who is false to present duty breaks a thread in the loom, and"will see the de= feet when the weaving of a lifetime is un raveled. _ _ FATtr, like light, should ever be aim. and unbending ; while love, like `warmth, should beam forth on every , aide and bend to every necessity. Bs like the bird, that, halting In her Bight Awhile, on boughs too slight. Feels them to give way beneath her and yet sings, Knowing that she bath-wings. Fun, Fact and Facetim. THE lumberman sends his logs down stream and introduces them to thecircu la_r saw as hiebuzz'em friend. _THE difference between a hill and a pill is that the bill is'hard to get up, and - the pill is hard to get down.—Earls on Ci%il Engineering. A CYNICAL man says 'his wife is only hilt like a telescope. Ito can draw her mit, but he can't shut her up.—Proctor on Comets. It is quite evident ho never bought her a new bonnet. - " WHAT were tho worst results of the civil war ?" cried the orator. "Widows," shouted - Jones, who married ' ono.—Ba dean's history: Poor Jones. lie evi l . dently goi, re -headed one. There was a ying man from the Mission,' 'ho spent all Sundays a Rabin'; He said Hades, for Hell, When they didn't bite well, Fet he read the Revised EdlUon. _ THE butcher is always happy . to meet his custorbers.--Bostort _Transerspt. While the confectioner delights to dessert his. Philaifelphia Buiktis. - And the battier to improve his. A rosT has written a poem on tbe stop -ping of his clock. It. came to him; per haps, as a melancholy reminder that he 'could get nothing on tick.—Louisrille -Courier-Journal. " WILL there be a match, or will there not be? That is the question." So spoke young Smith to a friend on the - morn ing of his proposal. The next day - Smith had a crest-fallen countenance. QUITE too too : The 'very latest, nicest little idea is for a young lady to decorate a miniature bellows. and _mend it to her best geutgreau friend. It signifies : "Don't mind Your poverty will raise the Wirid,!'—iniv 110 en Regiitirs. ..1,6451 1G Wctor if u g —Beecher.