D DRIFTWOOD• •••=1.•110 goy pima people of Paget Boland have cut off a high hollow tree forty feet from the ground and made a church in. the stump. Ilistriry repeats itself. "The grcrres were Goats first temples." you lmow. Is *sada City, luxe, is a lady of sleepArsdking tendencies, and what makes her madder thruk„anytking else ean is the remembrance that,in a recent at tack of somnambulism she cut off her long, beintiful hair, and did it up In a landsman braid, without knowing any , thing about it. A uses - Lug free handed , gentleman learn New York was travelling throngh the "land of steady .habits".the other• day,. when be met &Wire party °leftism banqueting in a restiurant. They invited him to join them. Redid so, and seeing no wine on the table, ordered a basket of champagne. He was he mostedisgusted man in Connecticut When they declined to drink, and be foul they were eelebrat ing the anniversary o a total abstinence society. - Tas wander lug' kical genius of the 'Bridgeton . Evening News picked up some fearfully and wonderfully-made memoran da the other day on the streets of that in dostt ioui little city.• It hid been dropped, by semehixly whohad gone shopping. The following were the items, occupying one line each : "Leter, Clan pCper, asfroety, tobaco, stove pip, Suger, Ginger, Carmen, Black patou thred." The local editor cordially.invited the loser to call at the office and get the document, but at hat . - ac.lounts no one had come. Os the Baltimore horse car - lines you can buy twenty . tickets for a dollar, though on two of Them the single fare is six cents. — On these two there is a daily pasiesger who makes an honest living, in his mind, by keeping a large number of tickets and by sitting near the Slawson box; to accomtnoZate the ladies by passing their fare up. When six cents aro hand cd. him, ho pockets them and substitutes a ticket. Thus he makes a cent every - time be' obliges a lady, and on good htisy days he makes as much as two dollars a day clear. TUE latest foolhaidy act at Niagara 'is the work 'of three employes of the Erie 'hallway. These is a log in the rapids in the middle of the river forty rods above Goat Island bridge,which has been there four years or an, and in that time no one 'has been within reaching distance of it. These men crept out to it on the ice and spiked up a twelve fOot sign on it, read "Go East via Erie Itailwai." Crowds of people stood on shore and 'Jok ed at them, and the usual number of cold blooded bits were roads that they would not get back alive. In putting on the ' sign they moved the log, ; this shook the ice a little, and it began.to break up in all' directions. The had a lively time pad dling - back again, and they say they wouldn't try it again for $l,OOO apiece. A PHILADELPHIA anecdote, forty years old, but possibly new to cold type, is told by a correspondent of the Boston Com- vionirealth. The subject was the veuera • ble . Cromwell Barnard, a member of the Society of„ Friends, and skipper of the sloopttiion of Nautcket, then lying at a Philadelphia wharf. Barnard was prom enadiug the quarter deck when a schoo ner, hauling out of the dock, MI afoul of the thiou, and the schooner's captain be gan to swear vociferously. Of course it didn't do any good, and as Barnard took notice of it, the captain iu a per fectly audible voice that he' was an old ahadbelly, prefixing a participle_ that is usually considered to be eminently pro - fane. Mr. Barnard couldn't stand this, so he called down the main hatchway to the mate, "Zimri! Zinari ! come on deck and talk some thy language to this matialongsidkt! !-Tneng is a man in Cleveland who looks like Garfield. • The other day he lunched ib a hotel restaurant. It was full of ens= timers, and one thought it-was the Presi dent-elect, so he - jumped up and shook heads with the last comer, saying, "Al low me the honor of shaking hands with You, Mr. President." The man who look ed like Garfield made a graceful bow as his hand was shaken, het did not smile or explain. He liked a joke, and he meant to have one. %The firsti customer was fo lowed by the rest of the crowd present, all waiting to shake hands with the alleg ed President-elect. At length the im promptu reception was over, and the new corner was allowed to! eat the lunch he had ordered. As he settled with the cash ler be rubbed his right arm, slightly wea ry from the hearty grjps of the healthy band-shakers, and said, -"lts pretty hard luck to look like a Preiident." A CHICAGO cierlCfonnd himself in such a tight place that . he needed $509 to get 'himself completely out of it, and the only wi'y in which hd could , secure it was. by borrowing of a bard-working hotel Wait er-girl, who, having- , - no incumbrances, had saved it'iit of her earnings. "Girl" is'perhaps a misnomer, .for she was about forty years old ; but she lent him the mo ney, and he gave her a note for the amount with interest; payable at some point in the distant future. At last. the date specified arrived, and . be could" - not pAy. Ile begged for an extension of time, but she was I:obdurate, and said he must either pay her then and - `there or 'Marry her at once. She wasn't pretty, and ho tried to beg off, but the more he tried to get out of it the more she" seemed alto- gether b° prefer being married to being paid. He finally surrendered, and tliey -were actually married. His wife knows how to.keep horse, anyway, and If the 'worst comes to the worst; -theynan take in that last resort of families in,which the * husband and wife make 10, she being the one and he the cipher, and keep a board. ing.house. Tams are some bullies Boating around who think they can say or,do anYthirig to a preachet without his daring to make any resistance.' Not being Bible readers as a general thing, these fellows think that preachers can do nothing whatever "to sustain the dignity o(their profession ; but occasionally they find themselves mis taken. One of them sat hy - tt clergyman in a railroaAtrain near Burlington, lowa, and after trying several times in veld to get the reverend gentleman into a conver sation, he took hold of the parson's ear and said, "Bee here, mister, you've got to answer this question." .Ae calm as a June Morning, the preacher answered : "You area stranger to me, and I do not wish to be annoyed by you. Will you please let PO 131/ ear?" - _"Not until I have a mind to." "Look here, my friend, I had much rather pray for you than to use force, bet yon must take your hands off," revisited the minbiter. "I" must, eb !" The preacher tainted off and knoClt ed him *urn, and ri)oeived a round of please from the piniengen, wtdle the in solent fellow soddenly had impottlant loess in the smoking-car. BM 1717111 LYDIA E. PINKHAM'S VIM= COUP= The [Positive Cote • Tor all Penide .Complaints. 1 preparatke, tts tttoeffilptillest, consists of Topstable Properties tbit are btu-mime to th 3 meat del? laate bstabl. Dpon one trial the merits of Ms Oars ppdrapipereeoVa i ard,asreliet Is Lnanirtilate ;and lama tie meetteontinned, In ninety-nDio eases In siren. bad, a pertillikond arm Is taveted,astbonmride wfd. tee Oitaitontd , of Its proven merits, It Is todsy re. • commended and prescribed by the Lent physic:lra is eamtry. ' It ilia rue entirely the worst form - of bibs! et Abe interim letteorrbers, irregular end pasta IloestMathrt, ,allOvarianTroebks, Itastnination end lncengletk Moan; all Displacements and the CCU. • spysentaptital weakness, end Is erpeoL-dly adapted to tho Chatep of Life. itwwdlmolse and erxi tumors bens tbit uternsbeasi early Stage of deveionment. Tte flembeser to cancerous lestetire there 13 eber.l.'el very 111P9 141 7 by Its me. la, bet It ball proved to bo the ems:- ast and bad remedy that, los *Ter been (lim ~os r• ed. It permeates every prtion of the rittent, • sari • end vigor. It:emotes f.:„...itecn,f4l . zitiacy. Wen all craving for stinrclents,ond relieves vreseim et med.:metal I Oates Montag, flesdsches, rcrreits General Debility.liee pk roc t, 15elfrosion 1n..l patio& That Coding othez.engrtmtb, canning Ws, • velgtt and bacimehe, Is airmya yerr.s.r.rntly eterd I y _dtt me. It wlllat ell times, end Ladert.ll . leas, aet fa . bermosy teltb tbo bur teat governs the lemaleadem. • Tor Kidney Complaints of tax:. t:dd compound annulissed. . • Lydia E. Pinkipm's Vezetable Compour:4 pripared at :=6..tat= Western Avvrao, Lynn. . Prize gm s:z bottars for VV.. E•ta,t 1 4 mail e form of pills, &Lin in tire form cfli*niAt., on rreeti.' Otpriee, $lO, per t.x , r, far .U:l4 I'LSOI:AIk tmly • fvr —•73 plat. "Alma! al a .071 NeAtiO.l. d. r?par. , Fa fazat itaatth: V.thoszt L; - .)IA rwzrism LlVra :Lcy warrarrhatti at tLa N. H. DOWNS' VEGETABLE BALSAMIC ELIXIR Is a sure cure for Coughs, Colds; Whooping-Cough, and all Lung Diseases, when taken in season. People die of consumption situp• ly because of neglect, when the timely use of this remedy would have cured them at once. - ..riftv-osse years of con stant use proves the fact that no cough remedy has stood the test like Downs' .E/ixir. Pdcs 35c. 150 e. and SILO per hat % Foriale Everywhere. Dr. Baxter's Mandrake Will we Jaundice; Dyspepsia; Liven Complaints, Indigestion, and all diseases , arising from Bil iousness. Price as cts. per batik. Tor t3ale teerywlists. HENRY & 4011311015 0 5 ARNICA AND OIL LINIMENT For Man and Recut. The most perfect liniment ever compounded. Price 2.5 C. and soc, roe &le grerprbin. 'P I 8 A Pi , 11111.1 VEGETABLE 11EMEDIr Foe: ortaser. and EIMIZIMAL Use. PUE! ikaco'inllellt aad peridaen tied How. and and is wag ecife e e ms in the sioll taitgad _ - PAM KI fi er y tr i s I.CI e ithirr-ilea• grlll. Cramps. (~ lead all Dowel platata, Eft!NetLies r ieti3Lierid FAIN KI gm r.n. i viettr i s ...ours /peep teems .-,..t rale all awes Draken Csiraralns. " Illevere_llaros. etc. MIN F la the of trusted friend of the Merboale. warmer. larger.Sallor. and in tact alienate wantinsimedietno always at hand, and see to we it4.l: ay or externally With fm . Wiity of le . lir% o family can afford to be without this In tsbablerezuedy in the house. Its rhea brines it within the reach of alt, and it will =mil, man hrtny Mans its coat in doctors° bill. Ffttl by all druggists it ene. 40a. and ill a loan PERRY DAVIS P & ONE.Providence, R. 1141 roprlla . . BikCHE QUICKLY -CURED BY CARTER'S Smart Weed Belladonna Back Ado Plastm! ,Thae plasters contain Smart Weed arid Beta donna—both wonderful mid relievers-an addi tion to the usual gums, ba.l.-Lmc, ft., used in other porous plasters,and are consequently superior ln all others for Weak or Lame Back, Back otttie manor Lungs Ast2isi v i'leutis = y. KidneiTroiAdes, Crick intließac - k.SUff heettot the &W its. aid — for allsraiii Aches. and wherevelaster can be Mad. if you have tthy need for a Porous Strengthening Plastki, we knave this one 'red piease_you. it is ware to give relief, and pain cart not setist where it is applied. - Ask your druggist for Carter's Smart Weed' and Belladonna Back Ache Plasters. Price, 23 octets. CARTER, MEDICINE pa., re-47- , rx, For alb is Teirabils =BT. AISTGENTS WANTED FOR OUR popular New Riot. THE INDUSTEAL ORT OF THE UNITED *TATES. Its At. rlculture, Renefeeteres. YtntOtt. Bankint , User. ewe: e. make i:S to Vie Ph f u= ar iSpee te tal Tenni to 1111Aitt CO ~,O rlet, et, $z NEN 4.lfie B AMAX OPSONIC PiNKHAM , i DELT4IIMIL .AN'ODV*TE Prgerfol, Expreerif tatiftimwes of tbs Throat aOct Limp , ,1 . a 4ols • wetectate masengehof relief to permed suffeslz g 543 3 from Coughs. COEN Influenza. Bronchitis" -au 9 Tightness and 4.49releatM of the Chest, to iji Wheezing. Whooping Cough. asthma. 3 2 3 le and Consumptive Cougtro.. sod 930 s; - Hostesses'. either In Adults . • , 913 • or Children: 9 42 2 -_ 1010 2 It speedily remorts that difficulty of Breat h ing 200 and Sense or Oppression which nightly deprive 4, the patient of rest; give" relief and tom- , lost to those afflicted with the above dlstressiog and. when,neglected. dangerous complaints.' • For aged.Piople It is ',Peet* soothing. - rot ehll,- dren it Is pLeasant to take ; no child wilt WINO. It. but rather crave Ir. The B tiLfIAM OF 2113 - 3 HONEY le pat up in large bottles hold. tag threevtarters of a pint; 73 eta., petbottle; large sample bottle". sa cents, per hottle:. Prepared, by Wist Tuck. Drsitgist.Wilkes-isane, PM. For sale by TURNER & 001IDON. Males street, Towanda. Penns. Jan. 20. - 1224 3 411 1 7 CHANGED HIS MIND I 2111:' 30 , 9 7'. OTTAatiSO .604 IF, „s i r THE UPHOLSTERER, Thought of advertising with us, but business has picked up so since. the Holidays, that he changed his mind about, advertising— All' that he wanted to say. was that If any one should send fur him to repair, or make new - EASY CHAIRS, SOFAS, DIVANS, - RECEPTION CHAIRS, CHURCH CHAIRS OR CUSHIONS, LOUNGES, MATTRESSES, 'PLATFORM ROCKERS, SLIP COVERS, SOFA PILLOWS, FOOT RESTS, One of those iSICE. EASY, DIAMOND ELASTIC SPRING BEDS, ; (That are made to fitihny lied) or anything In his Hue. they,eau depend hpors'gettlng Just what they want, and that WM-class, and charra reasonable. Hoping to bear from you Isom, I remain Yours Truly. - J. OTTARSON, vskagerer,s9ute Bide Bridge Street, Towanda, Pa., over Myer & Delves Market. - -Towanda.-Pa., Jantiary 13th; 18948010. ASSETS • SURPLUS - AND - EXPiIOTORANT, ram VITHLE .1.19 .- ASSURANCE SOCIETY OF THE tr. S.,NER- YORK CITY. PERFECT SECURITY. AU policies 1 2iCD2O , TES 7.4 BEE offer Um% y art Nearly s3,ooo,l?lKlpoidd flkfiolley-beld 11M. NOT A CLA.I3i CONTESTED. Insurance in theIEgiIITABLE on the TONTINE SAVINGS: FUNOIPLAN, Combines the advantages of ORDINARYLLIFE WITH ENDOW ' MENT ASSURANCE, ', Seeming a profitable Investment, ;With positive protection to your family. • . . - • For fall particuiars of TONTIN.E. and ill other forms of policy Issued by this Society,. apply to JOHN D. STRYKER, Agent. At First National Nast, Towanda, Pa. L. C. COP, %Wager, 120, Broadway N. Nov. lilt, 1880. • STEVENS ; & LONci General Dealers in GROCERIES, rm)visioNs, And iCOIINTRY PROM:IOE4 HAVE REMOVED TO THEIR NEW STORE4I CORNER OF MAIN- & PINE-Sts. (The old stand of Fox, Steeens'it Merenr.) They Invite attention to their complete amdmitment and very large stock of Choice New Goods - which they have always on . hantt. • ESPECIAL ATTENTION GIVEN . TO THE PRODUCE TRADE, And Cub Paid for desirable kinds. Y.J.LONG Towanda. Aprl 1 1879. SPRING AND BUMMER 1880. L. ROSENBAUM & SONS. 201 EAST WATER ;STREET, Dealers In DRY AND: FANCY , GOODS, , - - JOBBERS OF MILLINERY. _ S LARGEST, BEST AND CHEATEST AssortJiHint : tOt MILLINERY In the Sonibern Tier. Sr Special Inducements and Pricestollilliciers. A. call Is respecttolJ7 solicited. L. IiOSENBAIIM & SONS.; sal EAST WATER STREET*, . Rabbi= Rosso Block. a 11111-71 GOL-n li r lalgr a ert toMake : panoa tninone474 Iliotaini to tate tubseripUonslor the largest. cheapest ant best Illusirated publication in the world: , Any one can become successful agent. ' Six elegant works of art= free to subscribers. The price is so low that everybody subscribes.' One agent reports taking Ito subscribers in a day. A lady agent ;reports making over WO clear prodt.tn ten days. 11111 - who engage mate mow?-fast. Too can &Taoist! plw time to the business, or tmly,yoar spars time. Ton need not be sway from home over night. , You can do Use well as others. Null directions and terms tree. It you went prolitaillimork send 'us 'Ott Odra,' at once.- It coetabething terry the bast. nest. No one who *ppm faits tomato =ll . Mersa ONONON Maine. Jiityllll. .„I.fikt . $661110* risk. iila =er, o i t t you want budgie gessipktia the-thee they iterleßVlllJ' Wan le 11..111/1271.1= 004 FINIMI mum, MEE - --:' :,-- '':' 61i.iii44:4'!4P14.. 77 . PENN • • ~,,-;,....-.."-,...: :-.._,..* 6.4",1 MEE minivans. 71 ao ...—...' Ali .... ... • ik5i..:..... ~~ 15 $4. 3431 0 0 015 415' 15 915 410' 19.940 434 471015 . 545 -.lion IS 13 ... IC • 11 1Q52 1211 11 05 5 IN 41 1123 610 EOM EMI ~i] No. 32 leaves Wyaluslog at 800 A. M.. French town 8:14, Rummerlield 6:=, Standing Stone 6:31. Wyss:Mos 8:40. Towanda 6:33. Illiter 7:06. Milan 7:16. A thensl:2s, Sayre 7:40, Waverly 745, arriving la Elmira at 11:50 A. M. No. 31 leaves Elmira at 6:30 P.M., Windy 6:111, Sayre cso. Athens - CM. Milan 8:44. 111:ter Towanda 1:10. Wysanking 7:20, Standing =Stone 709. Rummerfteldl:37. Frenchtown 7:11, ; arriving at Wyilaslog 600 P. M. • Trains S and 16 run daily. Weeping canon trains 8 and 16 between Niagara Palls and Philadelphia and between Lyon:ma New York will:cost ehangos Sleeplop cars on 3 and 6 between • Buffalo and Wilkes-Barre. Parlor cars on Trains Sand 9 be tween Nlaglira Falls and Philadelphia without change. and Mirough cmich to and from Rochester via Lyons. - it. A. PACKER, Supt. P. k N. Y. R. R. • Sayre, Pa., June 21,1650. - A.l r sl C-E I C.& RUSSELL, Agent, - TOWANDA, PA. - - FIRE, LIFE; ,AND ACCIDENT POLICIES Isspetton the most reasonable .terms. None but reliable compinies represented. Losses adjusted and paid here, Towanda, Nov. 17,167!. ....637.4611,1H11 7,513,407 JAIrEES ,CABE lias room-. to CORNER MAIN & RRIDOR-STEL .Headquarters FOR G*ICE GROCERIES GOODS SOLD, AT THE • LOWEST LIVING RATES THE OLD MARBLE YARD ii STILL IN OPERATION. The undershrnell baying purchased .the NAB BLE YARD id the late GEOUGE hicCABE, dir sires to Inform tire 'publie..that having employed experienced men. be Is prepared to do all kinds of work in the line of MONUMENTS HEAD STONES,. - MANTLES and - SHELVES • in the very hest manner and at lowef rates. persons desiring anything in the Marble line are invited to call and examine. work, and any. agents: commission. " • JAMES McCABE. Towanda. Pa.. Nov.lB. 1878. - , GEO.STENKNII. ELMIRA, N.Y. ALSO M liusz* sulk = HE = [Nisri —Mil os oo 0...; 11 . .: '. ... is .. ...A. -. 47 / 5/. .'... aC .I I, ..... :25 1.... Leirliis 161126; 41 , 511 601.31i1163 4,4 111 4016 251143 4 33 ; 11311 101133 .;:.111221..,.11126 111314 65 1116 1U0214 431=5 ...qo 01,..:4053 .....liO3-1 t .:.:104X ._.11027 ....Issas ~..1017 ..:.11024 ...`,1003105101$ 363 9461 49i952 ....1 9401. ..19 411 ..I 92613 . 304 33 1 9211. •• a iis. $ ss'ilials w ' s ssi sao ...t 626.. ..i8 1 issi soslivi 37 Is 10$ 710`2 03 1 ,7 $0 1166 ....1155.533 1003 .... }1 154 410 9 60: .....U4l4s '320! ....11011 352 3 00. ....19 00,2 15 G 301.. . .1 4011 00 e.sr.:A.oi•lii•r.M It= .: - .Ly. ...Ger —.lthaca. ~E —Waverly . ...Athens.— ....Ulster.;_. EI~~9 Ed Wysauking stale tone. ItouVerfield irrenebtimn .Wyaloslog Sklies Eddy kleshoppen, Iteh tharqtoopsoy. l Tan .LaGrange. LAB ion's Wilk-Barre kt`th Mont i I.l.llentown . .13etblehero. \.liew York. - .:'1 . 1 it; i IT 01 1147 611 ... 1151 636 21 1240 715 ... 1250'721 .. 107 735 05 140 403 21 220 ass 10 .450 1100 1 24 1153 12021 135 605 1210 100'610 1160 1625 111 C 210 12: 1125 165 %writ. P. H. • Vutiness gavbs.. mating II Ms CASH - PAID . FOR BUTTER, EGGS, &C. •/ . , JAMES McCABE. Towanda, April 29, 18011, MEAT. KARKETi; E. O. RUNDELLJ Would relPeetfullysenopnee that herontlnutng the Market business at the old stand f Mulloek & Mundell, and will at all tunes keep & all supply of . :Flt E g / . . T. OYg,TERS Cotuttantly on hand: Country dealers immilled at "elty rates, , e FRESH & SALT -MEATS, GARDEN tiGETABLES, FRIIITS, lito. Sir 411 Goods delivered - 76,e. Of Marne. Towanda, Ps. ',X9v. 27, UM. C100ig)0,.1.4, Sale -OF Read-Mtule CLOTHING! rut following inducements offered to CASH BUYERS for the next SIXTY DAYS, at N. E. ROSENFRO'S • 2-r_ 1n 'order to make room for next 'Torture Vole I have REDUCED HE PRICES ON OVERCOATS and WINTER CLOTEILNO. Unprecedented and nnapproached li Con taining the largest stock-I