TEAM.. OF PIIIIVILIOATIOX. TheLSRADvOaD,RRPORtItS I 11111blualla every Thursday morning\ by GOODRICH i HITCHCOCK, Dollar per annum,lxvildvanec t i r,,Advertleing ,tn all cases exclusive of Sub• scrintlon to the paper.. sP ECI AL NO 1C ES inserted st VEX email per tine for first, insertioN and MR CallTB peril:setae e4Ol subsequent insertion, but R 0 notice inserted ,f ~r togs than fifty cents: y itLYA VERTISEHR NiTe. will be insert at reavanablerates. klinintstrators and EiecutOrNt Notices, l *l; Aad t iers.Nottees,lll.lo Bustmeaseards; dvelines, (~,year) aDdltional lines it each. y,,ArlyL.wlvertizssrs are entitled to quarterly / c vs. Transient adierthements must be paid form advance. • - • .tl4 resolutions of associations: communications of limited or individual" interest, and notices of -la.srrlig,on.or deaths,excieding five lineman chart ,J FIVE es,N - ro per-line,Put simple noticed of mar - rIA,VS and de .thswill be published witboutcharge. 'roe ltgronvau having a larger eirculationthan y usher paper IT 'county, makes It the best t vert hang media Ili-Northern Pennsylvania. .) dolt I'Iti.NTINI• of )every kind. in lain and lo cors, done with neatness and d ispatch, 114, Wills, Blanks, Cads, Pamphlets,'•B llheads, hrt t .nne Tits, 3 / 4 c., of every variety and style, printed , etho shortest notice: The REPORTZU °dine is ~-,•u supplied olth . Power pretties. a good wort ineut of new type, and every/hilt in the printing i,e can te executed In the, moat artistic manner and at the loweshrateo. TERMS INVARIABLY Asti. "Xittess §„arbs: ApmuL & KINNEY, AT - rtmxETS-AT-LAW. 0111..e--Itfioniii formerly oceopted by Y. M. C. A. Rea,ling 1:1, 3,18.80 MRS. E, J: PERRI(iO, TEACHER OF PIANO AID 0104 N. Lesson, given •in Thorough . Rasa and •Illarmony. Cultivation of the voicel. specialty, • Located at A. Motu Heferetico; lioltites . Passage. Towanda, Pa., !larch 4, MO. pr,sT W. COPDING, ATTonNEr-AT-LAW, TOWANDA, PA. );;:re over Ktrby:s Drug,f4Olv fraalLvi . E. )tYER . A TTORNEY-AT.T...ILW, . P 7,1 'TOW.A.NDA, PA ivjth Patrick and Foyle ItECK & OVERTON ATTOHNEYS-A ; r. I. 47, TOWANDA. " i. li•A:OvEttroN, I4ODNEY A. MFTWUR, A rrettNEY A T -L TOWANDA.P.A., F • solkitor *of Patents. Particular attention paid bo-ines,On the Oiphans,Courtand to the settle,. meat of e,•tates. othce tii Montanye . B Block &,SANDERSON, OVERTON AtT r rti-AT-1..".N, TOWANDA, I'A. E. nVEUTON: 31 W. IL. J ESSUP, ATTORNEY AND COrNSELLOII4T-LAW, MONTROSE;:PA. taulge Jessup Laving resumed the practlee.of the lawln N unbent Pennsylvania, will attend to any" 1 , gt I imsine•s intrusted to him In Bradford county. P,rsons whhitnt to consult, him, can . call on H. szt teeter, Esq., Towanda, Pa., when an appointment can he made, • H ENRY STREETER, ATTORNEY AND COUNGELMOR-AT-LAW, TOWANDA, PA. - i c ] • L. HILLIS, • a • , A TTOR N ET-AT-LAW,, • , TOWANDA, 'PA. • ruovll-75 F. GOFF, Jo A ?TWIN ET-AT-LAW, \V Y A LUSING, PA Agency for the, silo and purchase of all kinds of ouritics .and • fcr making loans on Real Estate. Ad business' will receive ,careful and prompt aiiention. •••• • (June 4. Ism ANT VIOMPSON,. ATTORNEY • Cr LAW; WY:kit:SING, PA.. Will attend to alt lundnes.. entrusted to Wet i•urn In Bradford. riilltcau atorWymning Counties. Office with Ksq. n0v194.1. .111A:11 E., BULL, •. . SUIttENOR. • siltVl.lYisitt it!ipItAFMG. Mllee with 313 , 01 . 1 4 over Patch St Tracy, 11aiu strict: T., auda. Vca.. 1 • - +LO. .'V. Kl\ HER LEV, IT. TT,m N TIV-AT•LA* T~~w.~sr'A I'.~ rotid" 4loor 'non( of First National , • • A ugus.t 1., 14x0, ME2 , - ELSBREE & SON, ATTOItNF.Y-AT.I.AW, C. Ei..nitEr. Li .N1cP1.1E11•;COr . • ATiortNEB-AT-LA7, TOWANDA, P.A.- List Atry Brod. , Co I , I IIIE IN*'RACE.' ing-ner..pir.l the ageticy of the • , CA:•1111:E IN:,I7It.ANCE COMPANY, - (Assetts over 513,000.000 00.) 3:1 1 f pr.v.tred to write policies •at current rates. M. 1). Sw - Anrs, Agent. I ...Ile.- u lin Win. intent. Towanda. Pa. lyr.. 101 IN Mr..X, • rP ATT EY-AT-LAW AND V. S. COMMISSIONER, TWANI)A. PA. aide Public Square SAM W BUCK', .4 TT. I: X 7: I*-A T.4...4 It ,qtive—'6olitit P..plat,Areet. opposite *aril -1111ti.e. • [Sur. 13. 1579. TINVI CA It NOC II A. , • < • ATT , .IIN /;\ , 47AT-LANV • : 4 4117T4 4 , 1 pi; OF WARD IIOrSE I. 23-73 TOWANDA. PA A NDREW WILT., ArrtiLNEY-AT-LAW , nier—M cans' I:Metc. MaLn.st., over J. L. Kent's store , ., Towanda. May be qv:m.llll,-d 1r German. WJ. 'YOUNIG, :April 12.'76.] • • • _ ATTLIIN4-AT-LAW. TOWANPA, PA. sotitti 4r.the First Nat'onal IL uik Ntain U. up Klalrs WM - , 3IAXIVELL, . A iTt•10:-EY-AT-J.AW WW A N DA, PA. ()nice. bs-qr DaytoWs Store April 12.J1576. . . - ' It. :i. M. WOODBURN, 'Ph.) -- si L LrMao and Surizmin. Office 'at :residence, oh •!,,,. , Creet. F:ast of Main. I • 1 . 0%.1,1 la. May 1..de71 . 1y.• . NIT B. KELLY, DENTiS T.--office • over M. , E. Rosenfield's, Towanda, Pa., ', r..eib 11.1 , ertra , 011 Gold, Silver, Rubber, and AI ,L/ni um base. Teeth extracted without pain. ' tiet. 34-72. ' • I . , _ :ip. B. PAYNE, M..p., 1 ,- J• PlicsiclAN AND 'SUltillitg. I 4, la :',. over Montanyes' Store. Orley hours from 10 • to 12 A. Al„ and from 2 to . 4 P. M. Special attention given to Disi-:.kSF.SI, . . DISEA' 4 ES or -, ', , and _ . TII t: EVE S - ) - THE EAR, 6r• ZEE COUNTY SUPEUISTENDE Moe la%t s'uturday of each umiak, over,Turner tiur,l , ,u!s I)rug Store, Towauda, l', , u-undu, :tune 20, 1n79.-= • . S. RUSSELL'S GENERAL 1X S 111, ANC f] A.GENCY • TttVANDA, PA. 11'1' NATIONAL .BANK, TOW A N DA, rA. , ",1"IT I' AID . Tk :. , 1 • 1:1•1.1'!._ FUND_ offers'utiusual faCtllttes for the trans. a gp neral banking.businesp 1 .7pc ill - Va..l„ Presid.ot. Aril 14 187.9 Ni fts. IL PEST, TH. Al: II is It OF lAN° M C.S I T EltNtS.-410 pert.rm. - • . (Itesnl,nra Third street., Ist wajJ l . l T“wanda. Jan. 13,'79-1y;. . , . GFq 1'01741 rOF nTS'T:rfaYG ployiWit ovroatil c ''''"4 l 4 4l4 l f , sroltre , 91/ 1 011 • Iffliff 131:213:E3333 5ep.1:5,'79 - 8EN.1.3i. BECK May 1, '79 JOIIN F. SANDEIiSON IMI Veh,27, '79 L. FLAIR tfeb.P7B Jan. 1,1575 riII'A.VDA, PENA"A ...$125.000 66,000 N. N. SETTS, Cashier GOODRICH & Ptibllshers, VOLUME x.Li. tw Abvertiiientests., Evans &Bildreth TOWANDA, PA., Take pleasure In offering to buff err of to (coops THEIR TESTI! AIiNUAL , I. PALL SUPPLY,- WHICH FOR- MAGNITUDE, STYLE, QUALITY AND CAEAPNESS, Burps, sses any of their , 'former offerings , and yell at in ihnes keep their sti.elr supplied with the ' • Latest 13,tyles As .trey appear in : market. 'They Invite 'Attention • T 6. their New • • • • , Dress 0-#Loois-Th pluck Silks, Black Cashnieres, Black• Henrietta cloths, Black Tamise 'Cloth, Black Nun's Cloth,. Black • Crepe Cloth, Blackllomie Cloth, COLORED . "CASTIMERES, Colored India;Cashmeies. ..,.(;(ilovd Flannel Suitlngo, • 1 ;.' Colored Novelty Suitings, .Tamestwa n Serg'es, Jamesttnrn Aipacas, Trimming Silks, Trimming Satins, i‘ • ---,AND V Pi .- T4 V..P; ri' 8 In Mick dnd Colors ' • Clorties an d . Shettels 9 ' 1 • . . ' Cassimerem Air Men's & Youths' wear, • flannels and' Blankets, .. Priuts and Ginebanis, ' • .Sheetingti•and Shirtings, • . . ! . I 1 •' .. . • . • ! ' t ' . 4 • Ladies' and entlemen's Underwear, ,;& - i. " Hosiery and GlOves, i • • if;/ . Laces and Embroideries,-- yr . . . I - r . . •; . . • • Also, a cOmplete line of Carpets, Oil Cloths, - Mats and Matting. - 1 -- , . Thankful for the very liberal patronage bestowed cu us for the past ten years, and hoping :by strict attention to our enstntuer's *ants anti truthrtitly representing - goods, to nierita 7 gtintluifalite of ihe same, , Evans & iliiroth B ae pnblic. F j I S rr : I V ' h o u t i k e c ri 1 :II " ' i l a v k tt b e r to n ne e h faster at work fur ns thau at tng else. Capital not required. We will start you. It 2 a day and upwards made at NM! by.the Industrious Mtn, worn, it, lttytt and glifavranted everywhere to work for its. Now Is the!:time. You* can devote your whole Mite to the wittk, or Duly your spare moments. No other buslnesk-wlif. pay you nearly al well. - No title willing towvork ran fall to make enormous pay by engaging 411 once.. Costly outflt and terms free. A great opportunity for making money ea s ily and honorably. Address TUVE& CO., Augusta. Maine. i • Julyl`6o. WELLS' • Manufacturers of FLOUIr;„FEED AND MEAL, Witacusixo, rA; , Cash paid for grain.. 0.11 WELLir.:9 .11 YILLS.—The undersigned haiing leased the old 'Saulsbury MID, would solicit the patronage of the .community. Custom Work doneitinuediately and In good order. All leakiin have been repaired and hereafter- It -11 l ho ,kept- In good order. Feed, Flour, ]feat and Bran constantly on hand. Cash pald for grain ,it liasontOrn, .; • ' lIEN.BY W. WELLS. 3fonroeton, Jude 17, WO. . pPORTANT . TO AGE THE tIFT,OF ' CEN. JAMES R. -GARFIELD, By his personal friend, MAJOR BUNI)Y. Editer N. Y...4taik is the only edition to, Which , Gen. Garfield •has given - personal attentiorf Or facts. Ileautifullylllustrated, printed and bound. "The best."—.Y. .F. Commerctaf Adrertis r. "The neatest-"—.N. F. Hernift. , "The Most seful, sen sible and Satisfactory."—W. L., 'Trib,irac. Full length steel portrait by Hall, 'from a pleture taken expressly for this work. Aettrel Agents Wanted. Liberal terms. Send $l.OO at once for complete outfit. A. S. BARNES a CO.. 111 & 113 Willlant A., New. Nork. . Sept. 9-w2. ofets. EAGLE HOTEL,: ( sopra ADZ PUBLIC SQUABIL)f • • This well.ltnown house has been thormihly fen novated and repaired throughout, and the'proprle. for is now prepared to offer ItrsVelass aecommoda• lions to the public, on the Most reasonable terms. E. A. JENNINGS. Towanda, Pa., May 2, 1878. HENRY HOLTE, CORNER MAIN h *ASIIINGTON,STREr.TB 'FIRST WARD, TOWANDA - , PA. Mesh; it all boors. Menne to stilt the gmei. Lange ttibleAtuched. ' WMilitgritlei rOtoPtit.ftilit 11,1HIgit till if 4 11411 • ■ • LOOK UP; NOT tiOWN j ute to some IS tuft of of ' ) Halt is real, halt the borrow ; • ' Toll of rocks and full of ledges, Corhers sharp and cutting edges. . Thimgh the joy bells may be ringing, Itct a song you'll hear them singing ; /Seeing never makes them wlse. F f Looking out tcom downcast eyes.. . Protection for oifr . ,Industries Words of Wisdom for BuilOrss nen. ,The merchants and business men of Pliladelphia' held , a, conference on` Monday night, -Ith ins idential contest, and state the i:, - to con side'r the issues of the pe dipg Pres reasoin why they world- upport the t i Republican nominee. Hon. 'JotiN WELSH presided over the meeting in the Academy of Music, JOSEPH PAT TERSON, Esq., in Hortleulturak Hall. Mr. WEi.sti spoke' briefly and was folloWed by Mr. ALEXANDER N. JONES. of the well-known firm- of POWERI & WEIGIITMAN. He address ed the large assemblage in the fol lowing language: =la i Address of Alexander 11. Jones, Elm Fellow-citizens i The few minutes allotted to me will not permit of any extended consideration, of the ques tion of - a - "Taritfjor revenue only "- t---and this is the special feature of the platform, or' declaration of. prin ciples of _the Democratic - party, to -which' would direct your attention -.--so that I am forced -to condense my remarks, and to be.-as Concise as possible. The Democratic party axows•-in language plain , and 'unmis takable; in terms bold,,specifie_ and unqualified, that it:is in favOr - of la tariff for revenue only. The word - 'only"' in his ease is quite important, -and perm s but one inference to be .drawn, lid cly, that the Democratic party is ipposed to custom duties levied for iirotection. Whoever votes the Democratic ticket, therefore, yews agaihst protecting home indus tries. A tariff for revenue only la :antagonistic to a tariff adjusted kir botkrevenue and protection. It aims, simply for revenue, and discards eve ry' consideration 'ot', proteetiOn; so that should any native industry be benefited' by duties, imposed upon foreign products, it is accidental o incidental protection, and not the re suit of ' design. Thei tariff unde which we have : worked for a nutabe of years past was arranged for the double - purpose of revenue and prep tection: to home industries, and - it has : fulfilled all• that was intended and predicted by .the framers of the bill. First, It ha's crested a revenue. More than one-half of the annual Treasury receipts are .now derived from 'customs duties. Second. It has protected home industries, so that we have been enabled to develop our-JcsourcEs, and diversifylour in dustries. Employment has been given to our own people; .we. have 'become to a great extent independent of foreigners, and the United States now occupies a prominent position among the great and powerful manu facturing nations of the world. Without - a protective tariff we nev er could have accomplished such great results. No nation is powerful that has not diversified industries, and no nation of modern timed ever diversified its industries except by protection. Great Britain, France, Germany, Austria, Italy, Russia are, all powerful nation.s They all have diversified industries, and they all' 'have tariffs more or ess protective, with the exception of Great Britain. Ireland and Turkey are examples of countries without diversified indus tries, and how they compare 'With :the great Powers of Europe. you `know full well. Great Britain, n'w the leading free-trade crusader or re former, is. butn recent convert, yet young ns a free-traded. Great Bri-. tai.n Wit up her industries by pro :tectionl; )bye-prohibiting the exporta tion of Wool-and other crude materi als; 'by prohibiting the expOrtation of machinery, and by prohibiting the importation of certain manufactured goods. Her revenue, laws were se vere in the . extreme, and involved loss of `property, maiming, iniprison meat, and even death, to the violators of them. 'Great Britain waited until it was thought expedient to' change her policy. - When cheap food, fuel and labor had been secured, manufacturing su premacy attained, and the markets of the world controlled, then, and not till then, did the people of Great Britain find ouLthat it had all : been gigantic blunder. Thenl,he oldest and worst sinner started out on a mission of converting the benighted ; then the free-trade crusade began ; then Great Britain aimed to be , the grand workshop of . the World, and other countries Were to 'be turned into immense wheat,fields and cow pastures We are told that protec l tion is a Pennsilvania idea, and not. demanded by the, other States: This is absolutely lalse. Protection is: denianded by people of every see: tion—north, south, east and. west . ; The sugar planters of Louisiana; the rice growers of South Carolina, the miners of copper" and. lead in the west, the wine producers of .Califor: War and., the cotton end woollen tainateattim - Now. Sisland TS !- All In . valn the sun is shining, Wateni sparkling. blOssoms twit ; They, but see through these same grows Sad: nadayiand worse to-morrows ; See the clouds that moat pass over; See See the yelps *Meng the clover—. .1 Everything and anything' nut the gold the sunbeams bring. Drinking froth the bitter fountain, your mole hill seemsh mountain. Drops of 'dew and drops of rain ftwell•latothe mighty rain. All in vain the blessings shower, And the mercies fall with power. Gathering dud& Yet tread the . , wheat, , Bich and , neatit your feet. • ,14t it not iso. my neighbor ; f.Loot up, as you love and labor, '• Not for one alone woe's trials; ',l Eierrone has cares and trials. 34 and pain are linked together . Like the fair and cloudy weather. .."; May we have, oh, let us pray, . Faith and p.itience for today. • -The Advance •,TOW,ANDAict . BRADFORD COUNTY, PL, THIMBDAY MORNING, OCTOBER. 14, 1880. are, quite as urgent for protection as are the iron and steel manufacturers Or coal "operators Of. Pennsylvania, and thefarmers were never known; to' giumide because duties are im posed', on Wheat, flour, rye, oats and barley. •I biKe seen the representa tives of some Of these eastern, west ern and southirn industries before . the Committee of \Ways an' Meane laid Finance, at- Washington, advo cating their claims to prtection,and I knpw what I assert tote facts,and theylcannot be dlsOuted. \ • _ . . A' few years ago, when Hon. Will iam R. Morriscin ' , of Illinois, was chairman of the Ways and Means Committee, a.tariff bill was prepared under his direction, and a jarge min ber of articles . .were - placed . .on the free list. When the bill came up. for consideration' hr caltimittee, it was remarkable how soon some of them were restored to the dutiable list by pronounced tree-t'r'aders wherever they - were produced by their constit uents, t3O that sumac.had to - . have - a duty because it was a product of Vir ginia, and biehromate of potass be cause -it Was a 'Maryland industry, and so on.' I have heard a lOading member .from: Louisiana ' adVocate protection 'to sugar, and yet he, was' a doctrinaire free-trader. - 1 I have lis tenedtll) a free trade member from California urge higher duties on wine, to protect a California indus try, and yet he could make a ringing `speech So duties on, iron and steel. So that whether it be copper - or lead, sumac ;or bichrourate,of pota'ss, sugar dri rice, lamber, s alt, anything you please, wnen it comes to looking z after the inter6hs of.their constituents, even free-tmdemembers of Congress from all SCOtiollik arc protectionists for the time being. Smile tell us that we cannot sell because we wilt not buy. Yet we 'buy and sell a great deal, and we sell more than we buy.?, For 'the .fiscal year endiug June 30, 1879, we ex potted $7 5,438,882 Worth of goods, and 'imported -$466,073,775 worth, the excess of exports over t imports I being $200,363,197. - People, buy what they waat.and where they can buy °cheapest and .befit just : just bat they require ; and no nore., It any nation is forced to haveour beef and grain, have theinthey will, and•must. It matters not whether. we require any of their products or: ot. ,: If, on the other hand, we need their goods, We will- burthem whether they buy . .much or little of . us. •To illustrate. In the year ending' dune 40 1 1877, Cuba bought froin vs $12,709,003 ; webought from cube $05023,395. Brazil bought from 'us $7,498,118; we bought from Brazil $44498,041. Some believe - in a tariff for ,revenue only, others woulikwirle out the Cus-, toms branch-of the service entirely, and both of these claises of doctrin ;likes argue that we would then have free trade, But you maylndedown every custom-house in the United States and dismiss every 0111140111- 41118 e official and you will not, (have free trade. _ . , Free trade unrestrietedin.: tercbange, of all 4 c6nimoditie4 crude and manufahtured; oblong all the tions of the world; i. e., trade freed from tariff legislation or customs du tieii everywhere. As such, free,trade has no existence a% it is 'an untried experiment. Great Britain' imposes duties upon distilled spirits, tobac co, coffee, tea; fruits , wines, etc. France has - two tariffs--''a"general and a conventional. The firs is almost pi.ohibitory—and applies to countries 'not having commercial treaties with France: The other is protective, but; Vie rates are moiler ; ate, abd is desi4ned- for .countries having commercial relations: with Franee. 'of the great manufac tdring nations of Continental Europe ,have tariffs adju,Uted for 'protection as4ell as revenue: . ..,Free: trade does not exist even between Frarice. and Great Britain The most peyfect in stance of free trade is in thelTnited Stites, among all the States, e. g The pmducts of Pennsylv . ania- can enter• any State free of customs dil lies, and the productsiof every State can: enter Pennsylvania in the same way t OUr States are large countries, so to speak. Texas is larger than Frf.nee, and California- is as large as Great Britain. New York ancifenn- syllvania are each about 'as large as England. They are great countries that are bound-together in one con federation of States. Now, -where, in Europe - is there ; such free trade las we have .here Nowhere ! Yet )one would suppose that protection to honie \ industries is an American system—a Pennsylva nia idea—if he , assumed, the state 7 ments of some, free-traderS and reve nue reformers to be true. .Open ports or free Nits mean one thingi free trade another.. Destroy \ your custom ; houses and welcome 'the, pro ducts of your foreign' brethren. With out restriction—what. : - then ? Will you have free trade?-• By no means! Great Britain will!still retzin duties On our distilled•spirits and- tobacco: 'France will still prohibit' some of our goods. Other 'countries will adhere to their tariffs. Like a handle to a jug, such free trade is rill on one side. The great advocrite of free trade is Great Britain. Her people in gener al, and her. great Cobden Club in particular, are exclaiming constatitly against the. policy of other nations. Otherpations reserve. the right to legislate for themselves, and so the great Cobden ClUb meets and frets, and fumes, and deplores the . darkness and total depravity of everybody but the Eriglish. When all nations abol ish cu stoms duties ;` Great Britala in cluded, we will have free trade, and not before.. ` , The distinguished,.Democratic member from the Third Congression al district of Pennsylvania, in a re cent address to his constituents, stated ; : "During the lastilscal yetir ending: June 30, 1880, the' customs dutie,s reached $186,000,000. The amount necessary now is generplly reckoned at $125,000,000, and I l' as sert that this amount cannot be 'raised in an intelligent and business-like manner upon the' articles imported which come in sompetition_with like articles manufactured in this country, • Without • giving an atiovista prow. 1019.1 Il uMrt 111 Tken mop bs ERA , z- i • -,-i-,1 '- '. ~ -i -- •,--? , 4 , 1 _ I - ' 1 • t ( , i I . _ - , -* . •\. \s. \, , , ' • -',- . .--, , . - 7-' .. " REGAZDI*OLMINUNCIA* N 111:01t . ANY GIVATZII4. exceptional' industries, whiCh may I require a greater care, but th y are ' few. The trnthis, that the payment of the public debt, prineipal and in terest;' is - the ittfeguardi to our-Indus triee.",: Now, with all 'due rem) . eet to the bon. gentlemen I 'nay saythat I believe a Deinoerneic CongresS s • t com mitted 'to a tariff for revenue only, will .not raise the motley in:an Intel ; l'gent and business-like manner; and I cannot see how the Y can be expect to. linpose duties with reference to protecting our industries: . s, Great' Britain raises a larger sum than the amount namethrough the customs and' income tax, and, yet does not prcitect any home industry; and it is 'at least possible for arrstw 'tempt to be made to secure such a 'revenue as has been earned by iinpos irig, ,duties on tea and coffee, by re ducing duties on manufactured goods to a \Arletly revenue standird, .and. by reVing the income tax. How intelligeit and business-like are the processespf tariff legislation. in this Country miii`be learned by reference to toe origin al bill . framed by the. , \ ni present chairman of the Ways nod Means Committ ee.lri this bill a great, many cru de aterials were made dutiable,while 6 - e finished pro ducts were made , frce. This, you s , must kno , is directly Contrary to, the polic of every, country \ ip the werht - ,-, I ' ' . \ ' No one can tell how low the rates of ,diftiea will be nor what industries may - be,deprived of all protection by a , •Demberatie Congress favoring a • tariff for revenue only. If all protec tive duties should be abolished then manufacturers must do'one of two things either suspend operations and close t heir factories br produce at as low cost as their: - European competi tors. . The freight; insurance and charges on imported goods *ill not be sufficient protection,. They would seat cely offset the. 7 prejudice that many - Americane have in favor of foreign, products. . Our crude' Riate dais, fuel, rate of interest, coSt •of buitdings and 'madtinry, wages, and, all expenses of business must be as., low as in Europe' or we cannot de)in pete. .Therefore,a tariff for t+renue• only may mean the same wages as are paid in Europe. Are thel work itizmen of 'the United States prePar ed:to accept the. situation - ? This is a, . . important question for them to answer. The Secretary of State, in a letter to the Sp e aker of the House otßep. resentatives,- dated 314 17, 1879, gives a number of valuable points gathered from reports of the Übited States Consuls in the several Un ited States. Eur Ope on the rates of ;Wages, cost of living; etc.: " The rates,"of wages in the United States, roughly estimated, are more than twice thdse in Belaium 9 three . tinies those in 'Den mark,P France and Germany'; once sod a-half those in Englandand Scotland, and more ,than tbree times those in Italy and Spain. The prices of the necessaries of life are lower in the United States than in any , of the foregoing countries. That is, the laboring people of Europe • cannot purchase the necessaries of life, which are common to tie American working people, as low as the same can be purchased in the United States ; or, vice versa, ,if the working people of the t.Tnited States lived on the same quality Of food, or comparatively the same, and ~exercised the same , frogal ity as the working people of Europe, -they-- cOuld-dive-ns - Cheaply as the working people of any country in ' Europe. ':ln thel near, future, the workingman of ..New York cannot eNmet twice or thrice the wages of his fellowLworker in Europe, while all other things—food, rent, clothing, etc.are on an equality; nor can the coal miner of Pennsylvania expect twice the wages of the Northumber land:nminer, while coal from the - Nor thotikerland mines can he landed in New York at loss than the price of Pennsylvania coal. If our manufac turers cantiot run their estallishments prigitablp—and capital will no more remain permanently invested unpro fitably than will labor work for noth ing—and pay the prpmiling wages, our working people must help them to make profit by-consenting to a reduction of wages." • .: Hon. WAYNE MACVEAtin, thOleXt speaker, wus then introduced to the audience, and was received with , vo ciferous apPlanse. He spoke to the fallowing ,effect, and was listened to thrciughout with 'the deepest ,:itten tion : Address of Hon. Wayne IlllneVesgi. FELLOW CITIZENB:-YOU have as sembled tiff-night, not as Republicani but as Americans ; not as pakisans, but as citizens; not :to secure the continued,ascendancy, of a pOlitical party, but to save from threatened peril the peace, the prosperity and the welfare of the Ameriean people. You have been compelled, against your will, to recognize that the is sees of thle canvass transcend the in terests of' all parties, because they involve the material well being. .of the whole country, •of to uth as Well es of the - Nortl!, 41 of th East as well as of the Wes ' ' "1 7 ,6ur first great anxiety is for the reviving industries of ;the country.: You are not likely to forget the sev en years of depressiOnthrough which we have passed.. They were doubt lees aggravated by political and financial errors, but they t tvere essen tially a part of the'cost of the- war, and we outlived them as'ive outlived the years.of actual warfare. Many causes contributed to prolong Mien) ; but a steady persistence in protect ing our own workingmen againstfor eign _competition, in advancing to ward specie payments and in relue ing the taxation imposed by the war alike upon: labor and upon capital WAS at last crowned with succesi. Signs of confidence began to re-ap- I .ar. Money beganagam to seek investnientjn industrial.enterprises. .The wages of labor began to admire. Everydepprtinent of industry began to feel new sad - vigorous impulses to aerds.greatei activity and achieve= nients, until the laborer at his labor, the farmer in hie field, the artisan in WI shops kilo Manatauturef at his,fur nags, anti thetairobant at Itio doekt , shared- In the general prOperity. Vila great revival was marked•at the South - as at the North, and the tri • - umph-of the Detnocratic party would be as disastrons to them as to you. The need of the,South today is not more offices but more induatries, not retaliatory legislation , against the North, but a continuance Id. the peace they have enjoyed for *Oast four years; not appropriations from the National Treasury, but tlie de velopment of their own- resources ; not the possession of a greater meas ure of political nowt'', but a- gOod system of public schools, an unfet tered and unintimidatadeuffrage and gentiine respect for labor.' It is at this timewhen a career of unexampled material , prosperity seemed to, be , opening_ before both *dons, that it is gravely prePeeol' to substitute uncertainty for certain / ty, distrust for s , confidence, and to overthrow an industrial system whieb aims to give jest protection to Amerl can labor and reasonable rewards to American capital. - It is against the suicidal folly of such a phange at such a time that you hiiire assembled to enter-your earnest protest. You• next great anxiety is that in the management •of -the national finances ihereshall be -steady steps .fOrward and_ no steps backward. Mistake's enough and costly-enough have already been made, and twoof ahem are still sources, of possible trduble. The demand notes •of the Ticasury_ought to be ' , gradually re- Aleeined and the coinage' of a.' depre ciated currency ought to' be summa rk.stopped. A free banking sys tem is entirely competent to furnish all the\currency whichi is needed for legitinisae business, and it is of equal Value in every portiun of the coun try, withoutliability to discount, in capable of del*ciation and redeema-, hie in gold coin, t furnishes 'the saf est and most conienient medium of exchange in,use among men. Close ly connected . with the maintenance of the national banking\aystem is the maintenance of specie payments and the tontinued reduction of the"na tional debt. As the, mischiefs of an irredeemable and inflated currency inevitably be 'r most, heavily . on the men: who ear their daily bread by dailySlabor,ls , too, the buiden,of the public de t finds at, last for place of-rest-tare shoulders of the sons of toil ; forthey not only constitute the real strength, but they alai" produce the real wealth of the nation: What ever .financial policy tends tp increase the wages of workingmen, even by the indirect methods of furnishing's sound currency and diminishing tax ation, confers inestimahle economic advantages uponraa, the country. .° . The !fedond the cdurage .of the Republican party in'dealing with the financial, questions have 'not al z , ways been - what they ought -to ,hav (i s t, been, but they, have teadily inereas ed,..7 and 'it is to-day he 'only "party which can be trusts with absolute certainty not to destroy the national banks or inflate lie _currency: with irredeemable paper (money, or unget tie the foundations of the-public cre dit, and render even the repbdiation of the national debt once more a po litical question. ..3 . Ibis tosave the country from ouch evils-that • you appeal to4iight to your countrymen tO Make common - cause with you against.. the - surrender; of the Treasury, the finanees; and the' pledged faith of the nation to thcab-1 solute disposal.of Democratfel party, as it iR noci.:constituted ski controlled. nthey succeed- to such control, it is not.difficult to foresee the ::'proba ble course matters would take. The' first object-of attack ,Would be the, tariff, c o ot by a proposal to substitute any comprehensive measure for , the existing law, but by special statutes of repeal. removing, ~one. 'at a tiMe, such duties as.ivere not 'unposed "Ter , revenue only." The : denial of _pro tection to our industries would not or:WI-educe wages, hut it would also impair the general prosperity to such an extent tbat our imports would' largtly dimyrish and , the revenue from that source would 'of course di minish in proportion. Meanwhile the 'appropriations and Abe expenses of the governnientil would naturally have increased, am at , an early day it would be , found that ythe expendi tures exceeded the income. . Then specie paymeuts would be stispetided and there would be new. issues of Treasury notes. Meanwhile the re duction of the national debt would have ceased, the attacks on the na tional ; banks would have—= driven , many of them out of existence -and impaired , the usefulness-. of , those which' remained, and the loss Of con .fidence would have madebew judos , trial.enterprises impossible by ren dering capital more timid than ever before. By these easy stages we , would return to an era.of financial uncertainty and of industrial depres sion and distress. It is not difficult .to call this the language of exagger ation, but I have contributed no con. sequences to the accession of the ' Democratic party to pow,er which are not fairly deducible 'from doc trines which have repeatedly, and re cently 'received - the sanction of recog, nized leaders , of rite party in both Housesbf Congrei3. A, Democratic victory involves; not only alcbmplete change in the Oiliefil whichiadminik ter the business ;of the conntry, but , also a new lea* of life .toy the evil' , systems to L which we owe '"no much of the degradation and the eerruption Of ourpolitics. If such a misfortune shluld hap-, `pen; the business inen Of ike country could 'only took forward to la- -pro longed political struggle,:Onflamed ,with sectional bitterness and the just indignation of patriotic men at see ing their country ' substantially in the power of those "Who had striven to destroy, before , they had given any, proofs either of their desire pr ;their capacity to adminisqr its :af- i fairs with safety to us or w...th 'credit to themselves., ' ItTls not desired 'to re o pen , the wounds of the war of the *ebellion, although they cannot be wholly row . , gotten.. The truth, however!, remains and.will remain forever, that the one calm was the cause or Manion, of *livery. of ktbatirm land the viliwr i i %' ~ . . , was the cause of 'Union, of ,freedom, ofcivilization, and the ourcon fidence in the absolutejustice of youi Own cause, instead Of dimiuishing/, grows Aeadfly . greater.l Your joy $3 may' have been more inter at the time, bet your thankigil ng was si' never profound as now f r the sig nal me ies of i battle accorded to you,' for the capitulation at. Vicks burg, fo ;,the defeat at Gettysburg, for the final surrender at /Appomat tox. The mention of these historic panes:ought to lift us into a high and serene air, far above the dust ' and cOnfusion of , partisin conflicts, tar above the narrowness of sectional disputes and discords ; ffor ii the years which are before us the, victo ries these names commemorate will 'be found to be as fruitful of blessings to the vanquished as to the victors. Union, 4 freedom, civilizaticin—these were.the conquerors, and these agen ciee of the dvine order in the govern=, ..meat of world have ever since : been : doing, and wilfeoetinue to do, very 'Mow perhaps, but ( very surely, their appointed -pork, and in the South 'they may be ,implicitly trusted, with the help of time, to transform igno ranee to intelligetice, violence to rev erenee for ilaw, sloth to - industry, op pression to equality, disloyalty to 'loyalty, until in all her borders shall ,be peace and prosperity in all her homes.. , . z., So farifrom desiring to do any thing to delay that, happy ,day,. we, desire to do-alr in our power to. has ten it ;flnit, We cannot be recreant to our own sense of duty to our conntry or to the memories of the braVe and good lien who died in her serviec i and 'On, whose . graves to-night are, growing ' the wild flowers ,of- tifiC ;Southern land. In their name We- protest against the surrender . 'of 'the government to the men, who vainly sougut to destroy it.. In the name of Justice we protest against its surren der to the white men wlio Were dis loyal while- they Continue to ,tramplo undertheirleet the right of suffrage guaranteed, by the Constitution to black men who were loyal. In 'the namt , Pf good government we protest agaj skits surrender tO men whose highest conception of civil adminis-, tetion is - enibo.:.ied, in their favOrite' iMaiiiii, i.‘ to the victors belong the *Oils." . In the name ofthe business Inlerests of the country; its manufae tO , es, Its. commerce„: and its' com,- metce, and its agriciflture,' we proi . - . test)igainst its surrender to men who cannot be safely trusted to continue to us the three great blessings - we snow enjoy—hdeqiiate protection to American industry,- a stable and , sound financial" 'system, and honest . and, ' economical ' adthinistration. These, as I understand them, are the grounds of theJappeal which the bus inessmen ofhiladelphia make Ito the , intelligen e, the conservatism,, 'and: the loyalt • of the American peo c.' pie. i ' . ...- , .... • . Your appeal will not be made in. wait.:, The lost cause will continue to he lost. 'The victorious _cause will` continue .to be . victorious, .for 'it moves with the L essential movement of the world' toward liberty, - equality and fraternity. ~This is its happy and divine fortune, and as a . complete expression of its . spirit, I' leave you these words -of Abraham Lint In: " With' malice towards node, /with charity_ for all, with . ffrinnesS I : the right as. God gives - rs . to se • the Tight, let us strive to fini sh the work ewe are ,in, to bind „up the . N : ion's .woundsi to care for him 'who shall have'borne the battle and for •is wi- . ;tows and orphans, and to ',o all *thich may achieve and.cherrsh a just And lasting peace among our-elves, and with all natiolis." . '. 1 .- . , lik . •. ' - _ - 44.- . ' ' ' • , The Limits of Amiabil , . , . 1 - -Coromon sense advises tut:to go through . 'this world'. as egtiably as ivssible. Long before our three. score years and ten have apped .by 1 -even if by reason of- Strength '-we . ahould be so favored--ordinaty- weir \ qnd tear will have shown themselves uite capable of planting wrinkles On the broir and crows' feet near the yes. _Happy are , they-.who begin ife with a . large reserve forgo' of m n iahi li ty. enormousl y ,- l'l The and,fu n d will Abe i fit , holds so a u m t ithout showing ,signs Of insufficien , a long lease of life may be expect , other things 'being equal: This In no P t eris so raareg.ift happier: i n a n Tn n h i eg n te e ei I s si are. ti n s f , ite e f ertain limits, however, beiond.which a display of amiability is not , demanded by reason.: . The world unfortunately aboUnds in rude people, who have no- : regard for any but themselves. Innately selfish; the idea of thinking of the comforts and -rights orothers is unknown to them, And they can only be taught.tO do so by rebuff and reprimand. It Is of no. use to let creatures of. this.' kind stalk over-ycitt -and, imagine that the world was invented and thrown into its present shape especially for them. The law of self-protection and self 'preservation . here comes In. The majority of die'people who make up the world are so unutterably selfish,' toward all but their own flesh d blood that, if permitted, theimil . - vade the common right. 'l' \ We grant that the arid - able an who allows "things to slide " kes the shortest path to peace an com- fort. Nor does his amiability eces- sully imply deficiency of spir . or lack.of firmness. Experience aches that'life is; full of discomfort, n mat. ter :whit may be the. ,quantity or r - iiiality of the philosophy we bring to bear upon it. ' The amiable man argues, and very plausibly, that such r _being the case, it is ,absurd to multi ply these discomforts by taking no- Ake of the countless stupid and 'sel fish acts Our neighbors constantly co . mmit.-. ti., makes up hie mind that he will . . I - put out by trifles. He reserves ,is wrath for occasions that enaphatt6ally demand it, leaving to younger and more easily, explosive men the task of preventing or aveng ing petty infringements upon person il rights. , WHEN you see a man take off hie hat to you it is a sign that he respects you ; but when he is seen divesting himself of his obatiou can 004 1 4 rotor Ihttot that he ititslile rut ihall tioplei hiss • .. • • - . ,• Tit; .s• BE =I 61.00 PO Annum! In Advance'. A itory of Thad Steve Os. Elijah F. Tennypacker, of Dela ware; has in his mind piny reminis cences of Thaddeits Stevens;: whom he.knew. well. At one time, he was with Stevens as a member of. the Penns) IVania Board of Canal Com missioners: "Stevens and I," be said, ".in pursuance of our duties as coitiFissioners, started in a two-horse carriage on .o tour of examination ; that was.a quicker way of going than by canal boat, but as it was it took us several Weeks To journey up the North Branch of the Susquehanna to Towanda," Tunkliannock, and back again. , Everywhere the people_ knew Stevens, and everywhere he. was, greeted .. with :enthusiasm. At Tunkhannock there was a great ciowd Of contractors and they had been drinking. iSouielow they found out that dur driver was a,' Locofoco.' They gathered abc3iut the j carriage, shouting and insisting upon Stevens telling them why he, a \Whig, employ ed Locofoco 'driveri After - a while we got away, from: their' and into . the hotel, and went to bed:. We were in adjoining bed-rOoms,' with the door open • between, but it was impos sible to . sleep, because • the con tractors in the bar-rooni below were drinking, shouting, and calling for Stevens to come , down land explain why heepiployed the' Locofoco. ' "Finally - they came stumbling up the stairs, entered Sivens"room, danced about his bed, shouting and insisting on . bis drinkitig with:them. He lay perfectly -still,l as if asleep, without answering theth or making a sound. •Then they left him and came l into my room saying, I Must drink ' with them.' I knew that resistance was useless , and so said to them that I .'never rank anything stronger than water ; that I could take a glass of water with them• 'They , were sat jailed with the proposal; we, drank, and.they returned Stevens, -' Come now, Pennypacker his Irelognized us, you must drink with us.r Stevens:did,not answer, where upon they picked up the mattress from. the lied, boie hitri into my . , - room, and laid him down on the floor,' while' they cried,. 'See, this man is dea'd ! He won't answer us Stevens is-dead !' I Said .to- them : `Yell, he- 4,i11....keep till . morning.' Without anot* word they carried him back to hi4ed, went down stairs" and wo slept i peace. Steveni',self: co4trol, the while, was curious to see:- Hethad lain quiet, as if nsfeep; andhad-not uttered a -sound. The next day',,we were late ::at breakfast, and afterward took a lonw ;ride to 'getheri hilt i he'did not allude, to the .events,of the previpuS-niglit,.nor did he eves afterward speak to me =about our 'esherience." t 3 IP '''. ID ... 1." t .1E \I. 011 7 z11; OF .n.ISSES.—W hen Charles .11. was Making: .his ttm phant pre•gresi t t hrough England cer tain country ladles who were present ed to hid); instead of . .kissing the royal bind,' in their siniplieity held' up their pret'y lips to be' litsied, - by; the Eingta-blunder no one Nipuld (6 ,0 more - willingly excuse thin' thell' ver of pretty Nell. Gwynn. ; Geo 'aria, Duchess of Devonshire,' gav Steel, the butcher, a kiss for his vote nearly a century Once, and another equally beantiful woman.; Jane, Ducbess_ of Gordon, recruited .her regiment in a- similar manner. A kids, frota„p i ,s :mother' made BenisniitYlir,#t an ,, artist. " Kies lueiimother, before I sleep.'' lidw simple •a boon, yet how soothing to the little Suppliant . , is that soft,.gentle kiss. The little head sinks contentedly on the pillow; for all is peace .and. happiness. within. The bright,_,eYei Cliise and the rosy lips ;aild reiellibg . in the bright =and runny dreams , ot - innoCenee: ' YeS; kiss mother ; for that good=night kiss kill linger in the memory wheil , the .giver lies •mouldering in the 'grave. The memory of. a gentle' mother's' kiss has cheered many a lonely wan derer's pitg,rimage and his been the beacon ; light to ilLumina "his demi late heart ;, life has- may alstormy. billow.to cross, many a ugged ppth to . climb, and we know of 'wliat is in store or .tlie little one sot sweetly slumbering, .with no marring care to disturb its peaceful dreams The parched and' evered - lips will becoine . dewy again as recollection bears to the sufferer's couch a mother's love, : .a, mOther'i kiss. ; Then kiss your lit tle ?nes.ere they'steep';' there is a mapc. power in= that kiss which kill endure to the end , 6( life. • • BM # / A FACT A IN ASTR,ONOMY.—Young Mr. Eateliours was sitting on , the porch the other night watching a 17- year l / 4 -old 'girl trying to keep awake long enough to see the morning - star t rise. , They' talked astronomy. "I. swish I was a star," he said, smiling at his own poetic fancy. ' " I would rathei you were a comet," she "said; dreamily. His heart beat tumultif ously. ' And why?" he asked ,ten de' y, at -the same time taking her unresisting little hands n his own;; "and why , ?" he repea d, irOperious ly. " 011',, ' she said; , ith a brogd tog eareestness that . 11 upon his soul like a bare foot n a cold oil cloth, 'thecaose'then y u would only ome around 'once eve • fifteen bon tired years !" He didc not say, any thing until he ,was half-way to ; the front gate, when be turned around and shook 'his fist at the.houseo and. mutteredbetween his teeth that'" it; would be a thundering sight longer than that before he came around agaip.," But by that time the- poor ; girl-Was in bed and sound asleep.-- Ilarlingloit Ratekeye. • - ° A RURAL AmusEmmir.--- Onion 'parties are all the rage in the rural districts at . present. Six young la (hes take an onion with them into. a, room, and one of them takes a bite' of it; then a young gentleman is ad mitted, and if, aft& kissing them till, he fails to tell which one hit the Onion: he is then kissed by,all the girls. The young 'lady who bit' ttie onion is aeldom discovered: ":, A nay of twelve- years, dining at his uncle's; made such a: good dinner That his annt'obtrred,."tipharlYi You' aPrar to tat rell• "Yee ) ropily] theuty In, -"2MI WWI ptimitlites Wipe all o! , ) , prof 4,. I. E NUMBER. 20 EM Adulteration of Teas. It is pretty generally blown that' the orthodox teas ; prepared in the East for America and European con sumption are adulterated, 'but com paratively fewrpeopler are aware of _ the extent to which this adulteration - Ii carried oi, or what substances are used. M. Haagen, a Frencb.chemist of some note, has made a thoreugh investigation of the suldat, aid the .- result of his researchess - has been laid before the Academy of Science. He finds that Prusidan blue, indigo, and. gypsum; in 81/11111 quantities, are the .principal ingredients employed to impart the "fitee," , or "bloom," to teas, andt in the proportions: used they are very innocuous. This, sthdterationtakes place when -the - thiL plants are raised; but more - exten- sive adulteration- is subsequently in dulged in by the Europeans,, Who, - with their superior knowledge, have surpassed the Asiatics in their fraud - by . the use 'of still more injurious drugs, such as chromate of lead and arsenicate of copper, besides making use of comparatively innocuous sub stances such as sulphate of iron, ate- ariteo carbonates of lime,and Mgne siii The Chinese haie ecome most , expert in manipulating green teas, which they color with a, few simple sebstances, Some of them poisonous —for example, plumbago, Prussian: lee ; eurcuma, and kaolin.- With or . ithout -the true leaf of the shrub, ey can produce a tea of any desir e tint. In order to. give the -inferi; or, or false, leaf the aroma of the' tea the Celestials mix a quantity of it with certain flowers, : especially a spe cies of - Olive. In short, according to I'M. Hussen, no injurious proceeding: is omitted in the Celestial 'empire to . palm on the 'outer barbarian inferior or false teas. In the' leading , tea growing districts the Government has a corps of inspectors who are re, quired to see that the goods are deS= patched in a pure state. The precau tion, however, avails little---for at the shipping :ports there is no at tempt'to prevent the• merchants, or brokers, from commencing their fraudulent praCtices, which they car— ry on to their hearts" content; In spite of their knowledge Of the ex tent to which this adulteration" is carried,oni . we presume our people will continue to drink of the cup' which is said to cheer without steal . irig away a . persons brains. _ BURDETTE'S TwoIYEAA OLp Boy. 7 —the boy runs abo t one hundred and - fifty miles ada and wouldn's. quit then if it_didn't row dark. Ile $s very busy.- e has 11 the cafe of lne, and in dition t his regular : : routine diit'es, he molages ,a thnuS and things no one.ej e would, think of. 'lies rday morning,: before ten o'clock, picked and ate,regardless'• of matar ty ortolor, a pint of wild itiawbe ies, followed; a. wagon half wn the road, got, lost in, the woods, hoked up the, fountain with gravel, ell out of a hammock, stung hiniself with a bee' ate some strange' _ tr-ries that his • mother Wvows are deadly poison, played ith a - mad dog (his aunt says she knows it was mad), talked to a tramp who,came to kidnap him (it Was an• honest farmer coming into; the circus, but: the boy's =aunt :and mother.united on the tramp and kid napper theory), stepped on a red liz ard,-,built a dam, and fell ,into the brook. I helped him build Thedam in fact, I confess . that, l'built• . the greater part or it; and enticed -the prince to - aesist, but he, felti into the brook himself, and all statements to the effect that - I pushed. him-in, and laughed athim and encouraged _him Aq enjoy it, are simply campaigristo , ' ries circulated for political effect.- 11,11'din - gton Hatrkeye. , . '.UST WHAT HE SHOULDN'T HAVE., BirKEN.—Rev. Mr. Giennflux : fell down stairs last Sunday morning, with a flower vase in one hand, a pitcher of Water in the •other, a . lamp globe under his arm,, and : a China saucer tucked in his ,coat pocket., ate wan, trying to carry all, these - things down stairs and he succeeded. 'But wheff he got them to the bottom and his anxious screamed from . :the bead of the stairs to know if he had broken Anything, be took an count of stoek and calmly reported that " he had broken 'everything but the Sabbnth." " The only thing," jpetuiently commented hiscarefnl ar.d. _ Vconomieal wife; " that' we' could ifford to break;"—/jur/in.iiton Hata , 4'e,. • ' - _ , • Fun, Fgct and Ficetim; TUE band of a regiment' is a - pLi-toon of itself. . • 'How to mark table linen-upset the gravy. . AN ism to be put down' by, the _police= ruffianism. BETTER haic large feet than a small understanding. WRAT the cabbage said to -the cook-- "My heart is thine." A 3IATFHLESB storp—ope in which theta are no weddings. Tip life of the.washerwoman is a se ries of and-den events.: Somi tombstones would make, gOod stump speakers. They - lie so: UNFORTUNATE for authors—Only melt who can't write make their mark. TANNER'S feast is not originate - The old gentleman, Noah, lived forty days ou water. , WHAT is the difference between a fixfd star and a meteor? One ,11,..11 sun, and tho .other a darter. • "Hs sleeps where he fell," tsars a lato ballad, which: suggests %hat he muBt baVO been druuk. , AN . old maid, ,speaking .of marriage, says it's like any other disease-10de there is life there is hope. tf THE blind man should be the most con tented man in:the vrorld, because he can have everything be bees.• 2 Powria poundMg .on the. dour —" Get up right off, I say, or you'll 6e" too late. The train's been gone this last half hcinr." Sot:nit - In an oyster house : " e here, these oysters ares spoiled." " That's all right ; I put in twice as many on that ac, count." • - • Ax an inn in Satrolk County. the land.., lord bas a sign posted up . outside his dooi, Good beerlor sale here, but don't : take my word for it." ' • Tut best summer resort' for a spitz ' dog' is the watering places . The de,g • should be placed about four feet • under • water.i—Nerristown Herald. . Dole Pisarar says "From the recent - :rrible marine disasters we are led to dZa; cide that water is becoming more danger-, ous t,o human' life than whisky.?! DINER (sniffing). "Waiter—l really. think—this fish is -pot :fresh !" Waiter— " Yes, sir—can't answer for , that,l sir I've honly been 'ere a week , sir!!" ; ' " How many deaths?" asked the hospi tal physician, while going his rounds. ' "Nine. Why, I order ed medicine for, ten:" " Yes ; but one wcnildn't take Is Jones undertakes to pull my ears," . said a loud-mnuthed fellow on a street corner, " he will just have his hands full." The crowd looked at the man's ears and. Wn you see an old, white-haired man drop a five-dollar note into a church plate, you never Imagine that In, thelniv ty past he cut hia initiate on the platy' !Lod !lesnriertrl (Jells int" the inneltint iilll