TEMIXII OP PIIIILIOATIOX. .Tbe Bnaitronn MoonTirm Is pobllshed. every Thursday morning by 000DEICH it Hiram Oct, at One Dollar per annum, In advance. irrAtlverttsfor In all cases exclushre of. sub• scrtptlon to the. paper. . - 'SPECIAL NOTlCESlnsarted at TIN, AUNTS per line for drat Insertion , and vivitcaivrsperllne for achenbsegnent insertion, Mit no notice blurted for less than fifty cents. YEARLY ADVERTISEMENTS will be Iniirt• ed at reasonable rates. - Admtutstrators and lEzecutors Notices;k 12; Auditors Notices42.so ; Busmen Cards, Avenues, (per year) AS, additional lines each. T eariy advertisers are entitled to quarterly changes. Transient advertisements must birpald for in advance. _All resolutions of associations; communications, of limited or indivi4ual Interest , and notices of marriages' or deaths, exceeding five linesare charg ed Five extrre per line, but simple notices of mar riages and deaths will be published without charge, "he Ritroirrxis having a larger circulation than any other paper in the county, makes it the best advertising medium in Northern Pennsylvania. JOB PRINTING of every kind, In plain and fancy colors, done with neatness and dispatch. Handbills, Blanks. Cards, Pamphlets, Billheads. Statements, &c., of every variety and style, printed at the shortest notice. The .Rtronves onto* Is well supplied with power presses, a good assort ment of new type, and everything in the printing line can be in the most artistic manner and at the lowest rates. TERMS INVARIABLY CASH. • "ptsiness garbs. I)CK. & !OVERTON ATTODNITS•AT•LAw, . TOWANDA, PA. 11 , A.. Ovicnvic, RODNEY A. MERCUR, ATTORNEY AT-LAW, TOWANBA, PA., Office In Montanyes Block OVERTON & SANDERSON, ATTORNET•AT-LAW, ToWANDA, PA. S. OVERTON. J¢ H. JE§gl3P, • 4 , ATTORNEY AND COUNSELLOR-AT-LAW, MO.I'IIOSF., PA Juiige Jessup haying resumed the practiceof the law in Northern Pennsylvania„will attend to any' legal business in rusted whim in Bradford county. Persons wishing to Consult him, can call on H. Streeter, Esq., Towanda, Pa., when an appointment can be made. HENRY B,TREETER, ATTORNEY AND COUNCELLOR-AT-LAW, TOWANI)A, PA. Feb 27. '79 JAMES WOOD, ATTOIINILY-AT4APT, meh9-76 TOWANDA, PA. • HL. TOWNER, M. D.; • HOMEOPATHIC PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON wt. Residence and Office just North of Dr. Cur bin's, on Main Street, Athens, Pa. Jun2G•Gm. T • L ITILLIS ATTORNEy-AT4.AW, TOWANDA, PA. Av H. THOMPSON, ATTORNEY y • AT LAW, WYALURING. PA. Will attend to all business entrusted to his care In Bradford, Sullivan and Wyoming Counties. oMce with Esq. Porter. 1 (novl9-741. T - 4 1 H. ANGIE, D. D. S OPtICATIVE AND MECHANICAL DENTIST:' I MCC on State Street, second floor of Dr. Pratt's Mice. apr 3 7J. ELSpREE & SON, ATTORNEYS-AT-LAW, TOWANDA, PA. N. C. F.I.SIitLEE I M I in II ATTORNEY-AT-LAW. - Other—Rooms furmerly occupied by Y. M. C. A Reading Room. tjan.3l:7B. McrIIERSON, L. ATTORNEY-ATjLAW, TOWANPAJPA, Diet .4tt'y W MIX, AirOltNEY-AT-LAW AND U. S. COMMISSIONE TOW A NDA, PA. OMee—North Side Public Square. Jan. I, 187 . _ - TAA.VIES•& ATTORNEYS-AT-LAW, sorra SIDE OF WAAL) HOUSE. Dec TOWAN'DA, PA ANDREW WILT, J • ATTORNET , AT-LAW • • (Moo over Turner & Gordon's Drug Store, Towanda, Pa. May be consulted In German. ' _[April '76.] w . J. YOUNG, ATToItNEV-AT-LAW, TOIVANDA, PA. °Mee—second door south of the First Nat.onal Bank Maio St.. up stairs. - WILLIAMS & ANGLE, ATTOIViEYS-AIkLANV OTFlCE.—Formerly oeciapled by Wm. Watkins, 11. N. WILLIAMS. (get. 17, '77) . x. J. ANGLE WM. MAXWKLL, ATTORNEY-AT-LAW TOWANDA.'I7.A. Office over Dayton's Store April 13.1876. -E4 F. GOFF • A TTOIL EY-AT-LAW. I•optar street. (one door west of Davies h Carno chat' I. Agency, for the • sale And purchase of all kinds of tieettrititmf and for making loans on Real 'Estate. A llftusfness will receive careful and prompt attention. r.lttne 1. 1679 MADILL I tt CALIFF, • ArtonNEy4.A7-LAW, 79WANDA. PA. • Offlce in Wool's Block, first door south of the Flrst National bank, up-stairs. H.. 1. MADILL. Mans-731p] J. CALITT. • DR. S. M. WOODBITAN, Physi clah and Surgeon: Od lce over 0. A. Black's Crockery store. Towanda,May I, 18721 r. • AVM. S. VINCENT, v v GENERAL INSURANCE AGENT, .1 my 21, 1879 IV B. KELLY', DENTIST.-oflice • otter 31. E. Rosenfield's, Towanda, Ps. Teeth Inverted on Gold, Sliver, Ru bber, and Al [minium base. Teeth extracted without pain. Oct. 34-72. 1 D. PAYNE, M. 8., rIIYSICI,AN AND SURGEON. OrDre over 31ontanyq - Store. office bourn from 10 _ -. to 17. A. M., and from 2 to 4 P. M. Special attention given to fnSEASES? ) pISEASES , ' or and - or THE EYE i THE PAR G. 1%. RI AN, COFSTY 'L'yETZINTENDENT Offlce day la.st Saturday of each month, over Turner a Gortlon'ti Drug Store, Towanda, Pa. Towanda, dune 20. 1070. IL. PEET, T CACIIEIt Or PIANO Music, ; 7 1 - ERNIS.--fie per term. (Residence Third street, lit ward.) Towaulta, J:.n. 13,.79-IY. CS. RUSSELL'S • GENERAL INSURANCE AGENCY May2B-70tt FIRST NATIONAL BANK, TOWANDA, PA CA.I i ITAL:PAID IN SURPLIITS Tills Bank offers unusual facilities foe the trans. action of a_getteral banking business. JOS, POWELL, President SEELEY'S OYSTER BAY AND EUROPEAN HOUSE.—A few doori soothed the Met House. Hoard by the day or week on rrasons le terms. Warm mealsaerred at all hours Upoees at wholesale and retail. febt`f7. I.7AGLE HOTEL, -.:1 (SOCTII MDR PUBLIC SQVAIIIL.) This well-known house has bren thoroughly ren n.n•ated and repaired throughout, and the proprie tor is now prepared to offer drat-class arrowroot's thmstothe Publle, on the most reasonable terms: E. A. JEIS'ISINGS. Tl" , slla, Pa May ^ 1878. THE CENTRAL 110 TEL, ' ULSTER, PA. ' The undersigned having taken pesseaston of the above hotel. re.spectfully solicits the patron. age•of his old friends.and the public generally. augto-tt. M. A. FORREST. COODRICH & HITCHCOCK, Publishers. VOLUME IL IN RE THE ASSIGNMENT OF I. Ed. E. Loomis for the benefit at his creditors. In the Court of Common Plead of Bradford Coun ty 4 No. 1197, February Term, 1878: Notice Is hereby given. that application was -made to said Court °tithe 7th day of July, A. D. .1879, by F. W. Hovey, Assignee of Ed. K Loomis to be discharged as Assignee of -said estate. The said Court ordered and directed that notice be giv en of the same by publication in the BRADFORD BICIPORTkat and North errs Tier Gazette, for the wet: of four weeks, that said application will -be heard on Monday, September Ist. 1879, at 2 o'clock P. 91. - E. B. rAitsoNs. Bova. M. Back. I Troy. July 10, 1879.4 w. Solicitor. _ , IN RE THE ESTATE OF AU- Morley, a 'lnnate. In the Court of Com rutin Mega of Bradfard county, No. 697, February Tenn, 1877.. • The final account of H. B. Morgan, committee or the person and estate of - Aurilla Morley, a lunatic, has been filed In this office and sill be presented to the Court il Common Pleas for confirmation on THURSDAY. the 4th day of SEPTEMBER, 1879. Application will also be made for tho discharge of said committee. ' G. W. BLAGKMAN, • Towanda4 July 28, 19-w4. Prothonotary. IN RE THE APPLICATION'OF of the 'Rt. Rev. William O'Hara, Bishop of Scranton, to. mortgage lands in the Borough of South Waverly. In the Court of Coalition Pleas of Bradford County. No. 580, September,Term, 1879: Notice is hereby given that application was made to said Court on the.7th day of July, A. D: 1879, by the ID. Rev. William O'Hara, Bishop of Scran ton, to decree a mortgage upon lands In tue Bor ough of South - Waverly, which he holds In trust for' the Catholics of South Waverly, to raise -the sum or five hundred dollars. The said Court ordered and directed that notice be given of the same' by publication In the .BRADFORD REPORTER and Athena Gazette, for the-spare of four weeks, ;that raid application will be heard on Monday, Septem ber Ist, 1579, at 2 o'clock P. N. May I, '79 JOAN F. SANDP:IIRON RODNEY.A..MERCUR; Towanda, July 10, 1,1170-Iw. Solicitor AIIDITOWS NOTICE.—In the Orphans' Court of Bradford County. In the matter of the estate of George Fox, late of Wysux Township, deceased : The undersigned, an Auditor duly appointed to distribute the fund in the hands of Orson Rickey, Executor, raised from the sale of decedent's real estate, will attend to the duties of his appointment at the once of Overton & Sanderson, in -Towanda Borough, on SATURDAY, the 231 day of AU GUST, A. L, 1879,.at 10 o'clock A. si. MEI AUDITOR'S NOTICE.—In the Orphans' Court of Bradford County. In re the estate of D C. Humphrey, late of Warren Township, deceased : The underslincd. an Auditor appointed by said Court to distr,bute money In the hands of Joseph* F Wheaton. Executor of said estate, as shown by his final account anumg the persons legillyentitled thereto, will attend to the duties of his-appoint ment at the odic., of Peck k overtom In Towanda Borough, on MONDAY, the 25th day of A COVST, A. D. 1579, at I o'clock r. at., when and wilere all persons Interested, are requested to attend and pre sent their maims for allowance, or be foreyer -de. barred from any share In the same. Enovll -VS Jy3l-4w TN - RE THE VI LUNTARY AS signment of S. M. Wooster to Cady Smith for the benefit of creditors. lii the Court of Common Pleas of Itrad ford county. No. 373, Feb. Term, 11179. Notice is herebygiven that the partial account of Cady Smith. assignee of S. M. Wooster, hat been 'flied In this once and will be presented to the Court of Common Pleas on THURSDAY. sEr- T EMBER 4. 1579, for confirmation. Application will also be made for discharge of said assignee. GEO. W. BLACKMAN, Towanda. July 29, '79-w4. - Prothonotary; L. ELsßnica • AUDITOR'S NOTICE.--In re. the estate cf Elien tf. Terry, deceased—ln the Orphan's Court of Bradford county. The undersigned an auditor appointed by the court to make distribution of moneys in hands of N. Willis Terry, adminlsttator of the estate of Elien G. Terry, deceased, as shown by Ads Pnal account, will attend to the Mules of his appoint ment at his office In Towanda borough on Eltl DA V the 2lnd day of AUG Psi'. 1879, when and where all persons interested In said fund must present their claims or forever be debarred from coming in mum said fund. 17 June' E. L. MILLIS, Auditor. TN RE THE VOLUNTAR'F AS SIGNMENT of Orrin D. Nichols, late of Windham township. Bradford County. Pa. In the Court of Common Pleas of .Bradford County, No. in. December Term, lan: Notice Is hereby given that the final Account of ('yrus D. Jakway, Assignee, has b en filed in this office. and will be presented to the /Court . of Coam mon Pleas on Thursday, September 4.1879. for con firtuatlon. Application will also be made for the discharge of said Assignee. GEORGE W. BLACKMAN. Towanda, August 6,19-4 w. Prothonotary. clelLt'7B AUDITOR'S NOTICE.— In the Orphan's Court of Bradford County, No. 6, September term, iti77. In the matter of the estate of Polly Warner, late of Pike. deceased. The undersigned. an Auditor appointed to dis tribute the money In the hands of the - Executor arising from the mimeo! said decedent's real estate, will attend to the duties of his appointment at.Lis office In Towanda Borough. on FRIDAY. the 10th day of AUGUST. A. 1.1. 1079. at 10 o'cloc)c, A. 91.. at which time and place all persons licerested are required to attend or be forever debarred there from. ORPHANS' _COURT SALE.-By virtue of an order Issued out of the Orphans' court of Bradford County, May 21, ISM the undersigned, Administrator of the estateof Lydia J. Rowley, lateol 'the Township fd Ilerrlek, de rea,ed, %11l sell at public gale. on the premises, on WEDNESDAY. A [JOUST 27, 1079, at 2 o'clock P. it., the following property. to wit : A lot ~f ground situate In Herrick Township. Bradford County, Pa., bounded on the north and west by lands of Jonas Lear, on the east by the public highway, and on the south by lands of W. A. Wetmore, with-a story and a half framed house, shop, anal a few fruit trees thereori, TERMS OF SALE.-00 when the property Is struck down : QIOO ou confirmation, and balance one year from confirmation. with Interest. : W. A WETMORE. Administrator. Herrick, I'a., August 4,1079-3 w. OR PIIANS I .COURT SALE.-By virtue of an ordor Issued out of the Orphans' Court of Bradford County, the undersigned Ad- Initilstrator of the estate of Dilman Messing, de ceased, late of Smithfield Township. will sell at politic sale on the premises, on SATURDAY, AUGUST 30, PITH, at I o'clock r. at., the following property. to wit :- A lot of land situate In Smithfield Township, Bradford County. Pa.. bounded as follows, to wit: On the north by lands of Addison Grace; on the east by lands of A. R. Dutton: on the south by lands of Henry Eiffut and George Dubert, and on the west by lands of Collin WOOd, and supposed to contain seventy-sii acres and twenty-six rods; about sixty-five acres Improved, with a frame house. one frame barn, an old building used as a storehouse,.and apple orchard thereon. TERMS OF 5A1.E.,450 when the property Is struck - down ; psto on confirmation of sale ; 01,000 one year after confirmation, anti the balance in two years after confirmation, with animal Interest from the date - of the confirmation of said sale. A N DREW M ESSING , Administrator. ' Smithfield, Pa., August 4. 114794 w. -", TOWANDA, PA TOWANDA, rA 9125.000 66.000 N. N. BETTS, CubSer. I= Sigar. JOHN F. SANDERSON, Auditor D'A. OVERTON. Auditor BE J. M. PICK, Auditor • Towanda, July 24th, 1879. • ORPHANS' COURT SALE.-By vinare of au order issued out of the Orphans' Court of Bradford County, the undersigned ad ministrators of Michael Corwin. deceased. will ea pose to public sale. on the premises; on YID DA% AU(CST 29. A. D. 1879. at 1 o'clock" P. le, the %oath half of the following described lot, piece or Darrel of land, lying and being In the Township of Towanda, County of Bradford and State of Penn sylvania, bounded as follows. towlt Beginning at the south-east corner of a lot pun chased by-John italley..lr.;thence north 1. 1 ..° east one hundred and :htrty-five perches to themorth east corner of said Bailey's lot ; thence south tts .i* east thirty-eight and one-half perches to a stake thence north IS* east forty-eight, perches to a thaple ; thence south ts,y• •east twenty-one and one-half perches to a maple; thence south Ut* west one hundred and ninety-two perches to a pine knot Corner; thence north Skis° west flfty l -perches to the place of beginulog. containing forty-eight acres anti fifty-two perches. The south half of the lot above described, containing twenty-four acres and twenty-six perches only to be sold—that part only belonging to the - estate of the said Mlehmel Corwin, deceased. TERMS OF SALE.—One-half on confirmation and the balance Mx months after confirmation, with interert. PATRICE M. KORAN. Admln'strator NELLIE RUSSELL, Admintstratriz• Towanda, Pa., August 4, 1&75-3w ASSIGNEE'S NOTICE.—In the District:Court of the United States, for the Western District of Pennsylvania. In tfie :natter of It aribon cT . June, Bankrupt, in Bankruptcy. Western District of Pennsylvania. The creditors will take notice that a second general meeting of the creditors of said bankrupt, will he held at TOWANDA, on the ;234 day of A UDI'ST. A. D. 1879, -at 10 o'clock; A. X, at the office of It. A. Mercer. Esq., one of the Registers in Bankruptcy In said District, for the purpose named In the 27th Section of the Bankrupt Act of March 2.1, DIST to wit, a final distribution of said bankrupt's csiate, and at that meeting I shall apply fora discharge from all liability as assignee of said estate, In accordance with the.proyisions of the 20th section of said Bankrupt act. JAMES W. MERVUU Ai.ittgnee Towanda, Pa. Augcht 7th, 11.7072 w.-.. TN - BANKRUPTCY.--In the Dis trict Court of the United States, kr the West ern District' f Perinsilyanis;. In the matter of John A. COdding and Chauncey S. Russell, Bankrupts. Western - District of Penn sylvania, ss. Au alias warant in Bankruptcy has been issued by said Court against the estate of John A. Cod ding and Chauncey S. Russell, of the County of Bradford, and State of Pennsylvania. in said Dis tract, adjudged Bankrupts opera petition of the* ,creditors. and the payment of any debts and the delivery of any property belonging to said Bank ups, to them or to their use, and the transfer of any property by them, are forbidden by law. A *Meeting of the creditorS of said Ilankrupts,to:prove their debts and choose one or more Assignees or their estate, will beheld at a Court of Ilanknptry, to be holden at Towanda, in said District. on the Sib day Uf August, A. 1)..1.79. at 10 O . CiOCIL, A' M.. it the otpre of It. A. Bercur. Pal., one of the Be 'esters to Bankruptcy In said district. JOHN HALL, Jr24-7.w, U. S. Marshal for said District. , Emig. Why is the wrong so strong, -- , And the right so weak and poor/ Why goes black bread to the patient man, And gold to the aril-doer?, Why dies the noble cause, We periled Ilfe to sere, While the baleful growth of an upstart sin Crershadows a nation's grave? Why died that widow's son? . lie was all site bad to bless. The children crowd round the selfish heart, And gale buf a cold caress. Who reads tho 4 riddle right? And who can answer why T`hecelonds sweep over our mortal life? Not you, braie priest, nor 1. Why came a throbbing pain " To that heart so firm and fair, While the crown of, wealth and of blithesome health Some - leaser angels wear? Why went that young life out • On honor's perilous mad ? The carping tongue and the Jealous mind Stay here to wound and goad. A picture once I saw— Three muses against the sky ; And the heaviest cross was the highest one; Perhaps that'answers why. To wave the banner and wreath Was the privilege of the Jew; But the boon to carry that heavy cross Was reserved, dear Lord, for you. :.!>elccled Tale. March's Wife. " Answer me,. Christie," and • the speaker threw himself on the grass with a poorly-disguised yawn. - The person -whom he addres sed. was . only a little country girl, and during those perilously sweet days that Guy Meredith had spent in the old farmhouSe, - Christie North had become used to " amusing" the handsome - young fellow. lie had been attracted to this quiet Village that lay between the hills, by the trouting, of which he was passionate ly, fond ; 'and when Mrs. North, a widow and Christie's mother, was asked for one of the cool,old-fashioned rooms and a daily lunch, she consent ed to the plan which was to place many, welcome dollars in _the family purse. To her mother, Christie was 'a child, and, little thinking that the dark-eyed stranger was to affect her daughter's, happinesi in' any way, the good woman sent the young couple out day after day, with fish ing tackle, lunch-basket'.and book. The book was a supe4uity, however,. for. Gay Meredith liked far better to talk to the girl, looking into her ba 7 byish face the while. Having spent seventeen years of her life in the lit tle village where she was born, Chris tie North knew little of the world outside, and when the enthusiastic young fellow described in glowing language the beautiful places he had visited, she— • "Listened. while a pleased surprise Looked from her lung-lashed hazel eyes.. To-day was like the other days which they had spent together, but a shadow seemed to'Thill over them as they sat • there, the girl with an anx ious look on her lovely face. " 1 don't feel like amusing any one just now, Guy," she said. " I wish you would tell me why you have been so quiet all the day long; you have hardly spoken to me for the last twO hours." Guy • Meredith . laughed a little -nervously, and pulling the petals from a daisy, one by one, answered, abruptly, " I'm going away to-mor row." Going away !" echoed the girl, catching her breath as she spoke. • " Yes; I received a letter from mother last night, by which she in formed me that she and my cousin, Kate Matherson, arc awaiting me at Newport, from whence we are to go home together. am to be married to Kate next month, and I suppose I must go. You will miss me a little,- Christie ?" he continued, thinking that that the sweet face had never seemed quite so lovely before. " While we have,been talking,-Mr. Meredith, the sun . has gone down, and mother will be anxious about us," answered the girl; and, without a 'glance at her companion, she swept, the daisies from her lap and walked ,hastily toward the house. The young man gathered up the book, basket and lines, and was about to join her, but she was already be yond call, and with a sigh he walked slowly across the meadow. • "Christie had. a headache, and didn't feel like coining down stairs,", Mrs. North told Meredith that night; but the next morning she came down to breakfast, and after Guy Meredith had taken her mother's hand, she extended her own with a quiet " Good-bye, Mr. Meredith ;", and thus they parted. That night John March called. For six months Christie had worn on her hand a little circlet of gold; that meant far*more to John March than his large farm with its broad acres. To the Mayville people John March was the common friend to whom all might go for help and sympathy, and they never failed to find it. All the little babies held their little arms to be gathered to his great - strong ones, and to the children he was a Kriss Kringle who stayed.with them all the year round. Was it any wonder that when this man asked Christie to be - his wife she gave the promise and accepted her fate at his hands? Since her babyhoodshe had been taught to re gard. John March as the embodiment of manly virtue and goodness, and it had been no hard natter to feel that her future life was to be spent with him ; but as for analyzing it, the child had not thought of it until Meredith came. John March had Wetly watched the two through the long summer days, feeling that his heart's treasure was slipping away from him, but treating Christie with the same gen tlene3s and deference that ,he bad ever given her. . , ' _ John," said Christie, that night, " I must not wear this any longer," pointing to the tiny ring which lay in her hand, and holding it out to him. " Why, Christie?" " Because I don't love you," TOWANDA, BRADFORD COUNTY, PL, MIIRSDAV 1101257 G, AUGUST 14, 1879. WHY? .-Ladrit Journal rek . "That pains me, dear • don't say it again, please," answer ed the man as hf took the little cold hands in his own. "Do you think that 1 have been so blind these many days, child; that I haven't seen your trouble ? If I thought that it would make you happier to release you from the prom ise you gave me last winter, I would not hesitate a moment. But, Chris., tie, let me try to win your love. Trust your happiness in my keeping, and, please Giod, you never shall re gret it" So Christie put on the ring again, and with it the responsibility which she was so anxious to lay aside. Mrs. North was too busy during the ,days that preceded the wedding to n rice her daughter particularly, 1 I tLI but e girl's. apparent indifference to all matters concerning the wedding surprised her. When David North close his eyes on this weary world, his . wife took ' the "burden - of life again," and carried-it even better than her husband had done. Christie was not like-berimother. She had. accepted the loving and petting that bad always been lnvished upon her. as the flowers take the sunshine, and, indeed, she- had received little else during her life. 1 But here was some. thing that Mrs. North eould.not un derstand, and she soon became used to Christie's quik manner and pale face. John March remained unchang ed. Ever thoughtful for the wants of others, and always very tender 'to Christie, he prepared his home for his bride and hid his troubles in his own heart. - , One beautiful October day, when the trees had put on their gorgeous colors, Christie was married. AR• John March's wife she occupied a position vastly different from that which Christie North had filled, and almost before she was aware of it her hands were • full of •work that she knew nothing- about. Coming in contact with the sorrow of others, she was learning to forget her own. But in spite of an increasir.g interest in ber new surroundings, ;the pale face grew paler still, and one day ber husband said : "Would you like to go to M., next week, Christie ? I can leave home very nicely just at present, and, •if you we will take a vacation and see i( we can get a little more color up there among the mountains." Five days hence we find them in one of the hotels. at M. To Christie, everythitig was new and delightful ; the' music, the ••haodsome ladies in their bewildering,costumes, the clear, cool, lake, and 'the grandly solemn mountains. With the eagerness of a child She entered into the plans which were made for' h t enjoyment, and before they had- en there a week. she was. looking more like herself than. she done since her marriage. Wlie,n the ladies found that she was married, they fell down, figura tively, and Worshipped her beautiful face. The lovely Mrs. March " was in great demand, and to say that Christie enjoyed it all would poorly 'express her pleasure. One afternoon, John March and his 'Wife were walking togetheon the piazza. Somehow Mrs. was growing Very proud of her hus band. She hardly dared to own that it was. anything more than pride which brought the light to her eyes and the flush to her sweet face when. ever she looked at the man whose goodness had won her respect. long ago. Never - since her wedding-day, had her husband offered Christie a caress, waiting with, quiet patience until the girl should know her own heart. As they stood still for a mo ment to watch some . new arrivals, Oily Meredith came up the steps with several ladies. As he glanced at the two standing there together, a mo mentary look of pain swept across his face, but, quickly regaining his composure, he raised his hat and' passed into the house. As for Chris tie, there was one quick heart throb, and then she grew strangely calm ; so calm and quiet was she that her husband glanced down at .her more than once, after they had resumed their walking, with a curious look of anxiety on his face ; but he was too wise to disturb by any careless words Christie's questioning heart. That evening Mr. and Mrs. March were presented toMrs. Guy Meredith, a tall,gray-eyed woman,who followed her young husband everywhere, and after Christie had exchanged a few words with her, she pitied the man. who had been so much to her. Two days after, John March was called home on business, and Christie wondered to find herself longing for his return. As she came down to dinner on the last day of her hus band's absence, Mrs. March found the house in a state of confusion. Every body was either scanning a newspaper or talking anxiously to neighbor. In answer to a surprised look of Christie, a lady said : " There has been a fearful railway accident ; over twenty people were instantly killed, and the number of the wounded is not yet known." ." What train was it?-" asked the girl; with trembling lips. " T he noon train down ran off that. high embankment three miles from the'station ; did you have any friends on the train 1" continued the lady, kindly placing her arm around Chris tie as'she saw her white face. "My husband," replied Christie ; and then she went•up to her room and.knelt down by the window. Through that long afternoon such" revelations. came to her as she had never dreamed of before. All the great love toward her husband which had been glowing for many weeks came upon her there, and, crushed by her sorrow, she knelt despairingly. and motionless. , Outside some chil dren were playing on the and. their childish laughter floate ' her ears • through -the open window. A. bee flew in, filling the room with its drowsy hum, and then all .was quiet again. On the .peaceful boiotn of the lake a few boats floated idly about, and above them great whiteeloud ships wereaailing across the blue sky. SuCh t a perfect day ! when every bird tbat warbled and every flower that nodded , bright head was needed to Coinplete the picture. A sunbeam danced for a moment on Christie's golden head, hut she moved not. The yellow light slowly faded, the ~ . 1 - I II)', 7 I 1 [.. 11 • 1 ! I • , . , 1 I ;. • 1 ' _ . REGARDLESS - OF DENUNCIATION FROM ANY QUARTER. '-'n" sun sank behind the gray mountains, the birds hid their little heads under their wings and fell asleep, and still nothing in the room moved. In the darkness tie door was opened and some one came across the room. A familiar. voice „ " Christie, darling, you will have to be my right hand now," and stile was gathered close to her hushand's heart. It needed few'words to tell John March that his long waiting-had not been in vain. With her heart in her _ _ eyes, Christie told 'her husband what that night had btought to her •, and the poor sprained arm was almost forgotten in their newly-found hap ness. . - - " Let us go home to-morrow,John," said. Christie; "and you shall see what a capital nurse I.can be." _ So the next day they le ft friends, lake and mountains for one year, and as -Christie smiled her farewell from the car windows, -a gentleman was, heard to exclaim : "If I could find some woman -who would give me the love that little' Mrs. March lavishes on her husband, I should be tempted strongly to re, sign the trials' of a lonely old bache lor. to assume the responsibilities of a Benedict." ADVIOE TO A GENTLEMAN ON THE BUBLEOT OF HEALTH. lIIIra Manual of Social and Tipsiness Forms. - The first great secret of good health is good habits, and : the next is revu larily of habits. 'They are briefly summed up in the following rule's: • . 1. SLEEP.—Give yourself the nec essary amount of sleep. Some men require five -hours of the twenty-four; others need eight, 'Avoid feather beds; Sleep in a garment not worn during the day. To maintain robust health, sleep with a person as healthy as yourself, or no one. 2. Dazss.-4n cold weather, dress warmly with . underclothing. Remove muffler, overcoat, overshoes, 'etc., ,when remaining any considerable - length of time in a warm room. Keep. your feet warm and dry. Wash them in warm water two or three times ,a week, 'Wear warm stockings, large boots and overshoes when in the snow. or wet. Wear a I;ght covering on the head; always keeping it 'cool. 3. CLEANIANESS.—Have always a pint or quart of water in your sleep ing room: In the morning, after washing and wiping hands anti face, then wet with the hands every part of the body. Cold water will not be disagreeable when applying it with the bare hands. Wipe immediately; follow by brisk - Tubbing' over the body. The whole operation need not take over fire minutes. The result of this wash is the blood is brought to the surface of the skin, and made to _circulate evenly throughout the body. You have opened the pores of the skin, allowing impurities in' the body to pass off, and have.given yourself in the operation a good vigorous morning exercise.' Pursue this habit regularly" and you will seldom take cold. 4. INFLATION or 'FILE LuNos.- 7 -Five minutes spent in the open air' ' a ft er dresssing, inflating the lungs by in haling as full a breath as possible, and pounding the breast during the inflation, will greatly enlarge the chest, strengthen the lung power, and very effectively ward off consumption. 5. DIET:-1f inclined to be dyspep tic,'avoid mince pie, sausage and oth er highly-seasoned food. Beware of eating too freely of soups ; better to eat food dry'enough to employ the natural saliva of the mouth in mois tening it. If inclined to over-eat, partake.freely of rice, cracked wheat, and other articles that are easily di gested. Eat freely of ripe fruit, and avoid excessive use of meats. Eat at, regular hours, and lightly near the hour of going to bed. Eat slowly, ' thoroughly masticate the food. Do not wash it down with continual drink while eating. Tell your funni- . est stories while at the table and for an hour afterward. Do not engage in severe mental labor directly after hearty eating. 6. ExERCISE. Exercise, not to violent, but sufficient:to produce a gentle perspiration; should be bad in the open air. 7. CONDITION OF MIND --The con dition of the mind has much .to do with health. Be hopeful and joyous. To he so avoid business entangle ments that may cause perplexity and anxiety. Keep-tout of debt. Live within your income. Attend church. Walk, ride, mix in jovial company. Do as nearly right as you know how. Thus conscience will always be at ease. If occasionally disappointed, remember that there is no rose with out a thorn, and that the darkest clouds have a silver lining; that sun shine follows storm and beautiful spring succeeds the dreary winter. Do your duty, and leave the rest to God, who doeth all things well. HEROIC CONDUCT OF A BOY.-4. young working lad of Woolwich was on the river bank when the Princess Alice wentdown in the recent Thames collision, and, being a good swimmer, at once dashed into the river arid brought out the struggler next to him. He at once plunged in again, - and rescued a second, to rush in again and ileturn with a third. As he was making his way thus to the bank he saw a )small bundle, which he guessed must be a baby. He caught it with his teeth, and thus brought the fourth rescued life to shore. Not then able to swim in again, he carried the baby home to his mother's hum ble dwelling, and placing the - little' orphan in her arms, said : " Here, mother, nurse this baby for, me; I will work for it. as long as I live." This anecdote beautifully illus trates the Savior's ig,de eming grace. Christ finds the sinlrer perishing in the dark waters of sin. He rescues him, gives hide into the care of His church and says, in the language of the good Samaritan, " Take care of him, and when. I come again I will repay thee."—Christian Voices. Witax 'the swallows homeward fly, When the bloom Is on the rye, • And the corn ie gedtly waving, Annie dear, I will:meet you at the gate, Though It may be ratheriate. And lot the moth time pour - taffy r in your ear. —roitkere Gazette. A QUEER CAVE DISCOVERED. • A correspondent writing, from Foughkeepsie, N. Y., says: On the western shore - of the Hudson, nearly opposite this city, a hamlet • known as Lewisburg shows piominently on the mountain-side. " Near Lewisburg an old stone quarry and heavy un derbrush affords cover for a number of foxes. Two young men named Rely ea, while' walking through the Woods, sightid a fox and gave chase to it. Suddenly the fox disappeared and the pursuers scrambling along to the spot _where it was lost sight of, disco'Vered a_ small hole in:the mountain-side.A couple of stones were removed, disclosing a large fiat - boulder, which, after displacement, revealed an opening about three feet across and four feet deep. , From the bottom of this an opening, large enough to admit the body of a man, extends into the mountain-side. The bed of the passage is nearly level, and the sides irregular and jagged. Owing to the datkness, nothing could be done without a lantern: A torch was procured, but, after entering the cave- trahort distance, the- light went out. A number of gentlemen from this city organized an exploring party. The explorers, after crawl ing six • feet from the passage-way, entered a chamber nearly high enough to. stand up in;* and three or four le !et wide. The chamber extends a distance of twenty-five or th 4 rty feet. At one end of the cave a wall of rock stopped the further progress of the party: Through the wall is a small opening, not large enough to admit the body of -a grown person. Light enough could not be obtained to dis cover what was beyond. A long pole stuck through. failed to touch. bottom, side or top. A cold draught of air comes through the fissure: The temperature averages 45 degree's. The bottom of the first chamber is cover ed with vegetable Mold, very, soft and damp, When brought to the light, the substance resembles black mountain earth. The opening in the wall or partition is, shaped like the capitul A. widening atTtlie bottom.. SUSPENDED ANIMATION. New Yelic Herald. Emil BauSch, of Lloyd street, near Throop avenue, Williamsport, who has been suffering for some time froth 'heart disease, sat down to his dinner table yesterday seemingly in his usual health. After partaking helriily of the viands placed before him he rose from the table, but was triketi with what - be thought a faint ing fitoind said he felt sick; then, throwing up his hands he fell on the floor. The family, .thoroughly star tled, though they had long beell'ex pecting such an occurrence, hasten ed to his relief and bore him to a sofa, where after two or, three efforts to articulate both respiration and pulsation apparently ceased. The family physician was sent for, but being absent, word was left for him to. call immediately . on his return. Meanwhile no signs of life were vis ible in Mr. Bausch, and the family convinced of his death sent for an undertaker, who_ came and was alsO convinced of the death of Mr. Bausch. Before going back to • his store for ice and box with which to preserve the body until the time for the fun eral he attached the usual crape in signia of death to the front door bell. He .was gone an hour, and then when he reached the house - and pre . pared to remove the body to the box the jar of removal startled he sup posed corpse into life. Sneezbg first, he grasped for breath, and ,f i n a very. few moments circulation that Wad been temporarily suspended reiumed' its course, and, though weak, Mr. Bausch became once more a man among the living. The family rejoiced I:it the recovery, overwhelmed him with at tentitin, and even the undertaker felt . pleasure in the unusual termination to his services and joined in the con gratulations. He quickly hastened the removal of his paraphernalia, the ' last thing to take down being the badge of crape from the door, which for two hours had been suspended there. HE WOULD BRAG " ALLERS AHEAD--'11.(11 FOR UNITED STATES!" A party of young men traveling in Europe had among them a citizen of our great republic who was so thor oughly patriotic that he could see no excellence in anything_ in the Old World as compared with . hs . own country. Mountains; waterfalls, churches, monuments, scenery, and all other objects of interest were in ferior to what the United _States could show.. His companions became somewhat tired of his overweening boastfulnesS, and detetminel .to take him downa peg." The party. spent a --- winter in Rome ; and one evening, having all things prepared they induced their- Yankee friend 'to join a drinking bout, and so man aged that they kept sober while he got gloriously . drank. Thereupon they took him into the, catacombs,. laid him carefully down, with a can dle within reach, and retired a short distance out of . sight to wait for de velopments. Atter a while their friend roused up, having slept off his first drunken stupor, and, in a slate of some aston ishment, began endeavoring to locate himself, at the same time mattenng: Well—hic—this's little strange. Wonner--hic—where I am, any way." Ile.got ontlhis, match, lighted his'l candle, and beg an to study his sur roundings. O each side were piled grinning - skulls and niches fill ed with skeletons, while all about were piled legs, arms, ribs, and ver tebrse—a ghastly array and alto gethee new to him. Ile' nodded to the skulls on one side witha drunk en " llow do do—hic ?" and on the other with " How d'ye feel—hie— ' anyway ?" tocik a , look •at his watch, and once more at his surroundings, got on his' feet, took .off his Lat, and holding it above his head,. remarked, loud enough Or his friends to hear : "S all Iright; right. Morning of resurrection, by jingo'— hie: First imari on the grmind—'rah . fir failed Stales! .41117* ahead. 'Rah for me especially !" t • •. - ' . .- -• ' • - - - . .i.. -- , •: . .. . '• :- ,; 1 . 111 , 111 c, II 1_ I Q . . I hear his mother's 'chiding roles. "How came your trousers torn? And black ai Ink, air, Is that shirt You put on clean this morn. "Your feet ire set, too, I declare ; You're muddy to your knees; It Is too bad ; you only care Your mother, sir, to tease. " And those nice shoes, your Sundarbest, *That but three times you've worn, , Are scratched and scraptd and all run down, The heel of one is gone. ' "Your hair is twisted In a snarl, And Just look at that hand It looks as though 't were neverwashed-T 'How dare you say't, Is tanned? - • Yoirre beep - a -fishing, sir, I guano— 'What been to tee the match? You'll have a lit of sickness, sir ; A pretty cold you'll catch." And Mae she'talks for half an hour, ' And only stops to say,, .• Your father 'II bear of this to•nlght ; I wonder what bell say?" My friends In compllmintary way ' Declare to me they see . A close resemblance—very marked— Between the boy and me.. , • Bnt nothing that they see In him In either form or face Besteakii my son as do his prrnks— In these my own I trace. And why should I at tattered clothes Or d&rty ones repine? In him I live my youth again— God bless the boy he's mine ! Great things are not accomplished by idle dreamS, but by years of pa tient study.. Many a man has reached the sum mit of fame,- and then looked• down into the humble valley became from, and longed to be there again - . Sin always begins with pleasure and ends with bitterness It is like a colt, which the little boy said was 'very tame in front, and very wild be hind. We . should enjoy our fortune as we do our health—enjoy it when good, be patient when it is bad, and never apply violent emedies except in an extreme necessity. As the Western clouds ure tinged with, gold even after the sun is lost to view, so . does the memory of„ a kind act brillg a smile to the face when its author be forgotten. if you were as willing to be as pleasant and as anxious to please in your own house as you are in the company - your neighbors, ',you would haie the happiest home in,the world. Duty is the little blue sky over ev ery heart and soul—ovcr. everY.Jite —large enough for a star to look be tween•the clouds, and , for the sky lark Happiness to rise heavenward through and sing in. The world is governed by three things—wisdom authority and ap pearances.. Wisdom is for thought ful people, authority for rough peo ple, and appeamices for the .great mass of superficial people who - can, look only at the outside. Seek not to please the world, -but your own conscience. The man who tiara feeling with hi m . that he has done his duty upon every occasion is far happier than be' who hangs upon•the smiles of the great or the still more fickle favors of the multi. . To an ordinary observer, the mass of people one meth seem happy and joyous. Here and there, perhaps, we see a care-worn, sad face, but the miltitude . pass on as sunny and smil ing as if there was no trouble in this. world. But could .we lift the veil and look beneath this gay exterior; we should discover many a hidden rief •so many hearts arc there that ache and make no sign,.and that is not' the bitterest sorrow that the world: sees and knows. Those griefs are the sorest and hardest to bear which must be kept concealed and never spoken of. - - "GIRLS" AND "YOUNG LADIES." Benjamin F. Taylor, the poet, has written a letter to - a young girl at* the Lowville, (N. 1.,) Academy, in which he fixes up, poetry and good advice in equal doses most charm ingly. What 3.tr.Taylor says will bear. repetition . - I call yo girl, but it is not the, fashion a more. The girls are gone, an the e is nobody left but young 1 dicts. I like girl best. There used t belt ock of Carolines in Lowv Ile, and s fair a flock as seer wore muslin.- here .were Caroline Collins, Caroline Northrup, Caroline Davan, and . ever so many. more. There were Cornelias, Janes, Eliza beths, Marys and Paullans. They were all girls, and they never scorned the title. Now they would be Car ries, -and Nellies, Lizzies; Mamies, Jennies and'' Cornies, and young ladies, withal, - every daughter . of them. Let us not end our names in 1. ie." Let us not forget that affec tation is the i. : art Of being a fool by rule. Let us - learn to work worsted cats of impossible pink, if .we must, but`let us know how to make Indian pudding and a golden loaf of orn bread as well. Let us talk French. if we can, hut let us avoid " slang " as 6 would pestilence and famine. Pure and undefiled English, never sounds So musically as it doesii from the unadulterated lips of - a geniuine girl. Let us learn the exquisite art of keeping ybung. You read of Roman ruins.. think I have heard . Tyre, Tadmar and Thebes Mention-. ed once or twice, lit. there is.noth ing so ancient in all this world as an old dilapi lated -heart. It is . every body's duty, especially every girl's, to keep young. Nei York World Two peculiar decisions have just been rendered by English tribunals. At 'Chatham John Maroney, , a pen sioner who belonged to the First Army Reserve, was arrested and handed over to the military authori tiei to be dealt with as a - deserter. IN had not called to draw his.pen &ion for nine months. His , explana tion was that he did not know that it was compulsory on him .to draw the' money quarterly, that he bad no intention of deserting, and that being employed at Dover andjiiit needing . his money, _he thought he would let LIKE HIS DAD. —Boston Transcript GEMS OF THOUGHT• ENGLISH LAW AND JUSTICE. 111.00 per Annum," In Advance: it ran for a year and then draw it in a lump, When he would feel the bene fit 'of it. This explanation, however, did not save him. The other case came before the Mistley Bench, where a farmer named. John Fena summon ed one of his " laborers, 'Ambrose Pentney, for abienting himself from work' for an hour and a half, whereby the prosecutor sustained damages to the extent of ss. While at work, l'entney heard cries of murder from a cottage near by, and, hitstening thither found a madman who had overpowered and was killing US keeper. Ile 'helped to subdue the maniac and remained with him till assistance bad been obtained. The magistrate, while admitting that it . was a humane: act on his part top) to the man's aid,decided that he had. committed a breach of the law in not first obtaining the sanction of his =liter ; and although the defendant urged that unless he had gone the poor fellow would in all piobability have been murdered, the Bench otl dered him to pay a fine Of ss. FISnING. Burlington Ilawkeye. I latided my'first pickerel the first evening we.were on lake Minnetonka: I am not a skillful fisherman: -I told the boys that I could do a little plain fishing, but I 'didn't want to be set down-for anything with any kind of fluffing, embroidery, knife-plaiting or anything of that kind about, it. I fished from the shore, by the side of a veteran fisher, Mr. A. K:Dunlap, of Titusville. Ile knows evey fish in the lake'by na'me:i He can tell by the movement_of the, line -what kind of a'fiih is at your, h4ok. Something ran away with my line. "It's a pickerel," .shouted Mr. Dunlap, in intense excitement. "A big fellow. Take out . your lines," he yelled - to the rest of them. " Give him plenty of- room ! Play him," he 'shrieked at me. " Let him run ! Keep your line taut! 'Don't give him an inch of slack! Look out! Don't' let him do that again! Let him run! Now, bring him in this—, LOC& out! IYon't let him do that - again!". . By. this time-'I was - so . excited I. was on the point of thioWing down the pole and rushing out into ..the lake, intending to run . the fish down and kick him to death, I screamed to Mr. Dunlap: "You take the pole and land him —I never can:" He refused. He turned and hurl ed his own, pole, lance fashion into the Foods. " Here !" he shouted, rushing down .the bank about "twenty — feet below me, stooping down and spreading out - his.firms. '" Here! Now ! Bring him in here through the shoal Water, I'll get him -Careful, now Careful ! Steady !. A h— = ." And flip, flap, I had him on the shore. He was a beauty. A little sunfish, about three and a half inches long.. It was a long time before we said anything. Mr. Dunlap climbed a big birch tree,. in the top of which his pole bad lodged, and we -resumed. our fishing.. Presently Charley Arm knecht coughed, and said : • . "Dow funny the frogs sound over in the marshl",- , - • - And then, we - laughed a long time at the frogs. 'A long, long time and very heartily. They were very funny frogs. But. Mi. Dunlap fished on very silently, and by .and by he said the fish wouldn't bite when there was so much noise. 'So we held our hush and the fish bit. But they , didn't bitC any of us very badly.! 411311214:14101$: AN -INCIDENT ILLUSTRATINTO MS CHAR- The foll Owing incident, illustrative of the character of Hon. Samuel But ler, the Republican candidate for State Treasurer; is published in the West 'Chester Local News: A few months ago•a neighbor.of Mr. Butler in financial distress obtained the lat ter's indorsement on alnote for sev- . eral hundred dollars. .SubsequentlY, and about the tithe the note was ma- turing, the neighbor was taken ill with typhoid fever -and his life wae despaired of. -His physicians order ed that no one be permitted to see him, least his ailthent.might, be aggra 7 ' vatede At this crisis Mr. Butler call 'ed upon hie friend, and, after being refused admission ; reached -his bedside, when be told sick,inan not to give his mind a single thought as to. the note then about due ; but, -if he must think at all in reference to it, to realize that:it was2perfectly safe, arid le; Mr. Butler , would sceit . paid, and if:. life was spared the sick man' he might rei*ST whenever , he felt.able to Ido Butler's' brief speech was! potent medicine to the r t farther, who slowly recovered from his illness, and is no* - able to . attend .to his dutide. on the farm. O,VR CONSTITITTION.—GeneraI Don ald McLeod, 'the centenarian 'who reqently died in Cleveland, Ohio, was born at Aberdeen, Scotland, on the ISt of, ••January, 1779. At the University he knew - Lord Byron, who was:A-hen-a lad of ten in the pre paratery deparrtment. He enlisted in the.. Forty-secend flighlinders and was iOtbebattles of, the Peninsular carapaign; : He was one of the mourn ers at . tAt famous burial of Sir John Irobri:lii the war of 1812 he fought at Lundy's Lane, and when his regi ment was recalled to England, he went back to serve with . distinction at Waterloo. •In the - Canadian re bellion of. 1837 be-bore a conspicuousi part„. planning a descent on Nalden. Referring to the opening. of this bellion'he said to a l e edder• re porter,."l was•in - the habit of boast ing much - of our British Constitution, and reallybelievedlit was the . best the wisdom of man 'had ever 'promUl gated. I said so once in the presence of another, who said it Was far be bind the American Constitution. .scoffed at the idea s and he asked me to take-a •copy home and read it: did so, and opened my eyes. I said to myself, 'Here_is a, new Bible.' . - That constitution made me a - rebel .against- the, liritiah Government for • whichi had fought. . • • A wrrat's tisk records time; a dium'i tielibests time. TnEr.a begin to die at their tops—limn' begin to dye there, too. - Is a manbigger than you gays you are a Har, do not resent it. He may be ads. taken. Wnwr a man thinks 'he has a really good conundrum, it is hard to make him give it np.—Pienyttne. • • - As a matter of convenience it is better to put' soft money in a bank. It will come out hard.—Picayune.--'• Wriv are good resiOlutiolus like a squall ing baby at church? Because they shoeld always be carried out. MANI' a young man whtsows his Wild data trusts to the grasshopper of- forget.: fulness to destroy the crop. CLEARLY it is the boy who tends the elevators whose life has the most ups and dows.—Albany. Etre ning Journal. ' NITIEBER 11 Urox the adjournment of COD Aleck Stephens, it is said, crawled into an envelope and franked himself home.. "la Life‘Worth Living" is the title of it nevi' book by a bilious Englishman. Let him ask an easy one. Is death worth dying? • ADAM and Eve were the first pedestri ans, and it was a rough day for mankind when they made their lapse.—Cincinnati _ Commercial. • IT is merely modesty which :prompts people to use opera-glasses at a ballet show. -They don't want to view limbs with the naked eye. . • , Tits fisherman is- a tryangler sort of: . Fellow.—Syracuse Times. He is often, a sort of a wrecked angler sort of a fellow besides.-- Whitehall-Times. THE price of silks Las advanced , fifteen per cent., hecause_of the partial failure of the sil k crop abroad This will make hard times for husbands again. . - - LIFE is but a span: 31arriagels a dou ble team. Youth wedded to old agh is a teudem. A cross old bachelor is single and all solky.—New Orleans Picayune.. CAREFUL. housewife (lifting a shoe froth the sotip .turecii)—"La; who'd 'a thought baby's shoe would turn up in the soup? But I knew it wasn't lost. tnev: .er lose anything." • ACTED. ruw, TAM AND FACETIrp A scissors p,eddlar in Chicago has been doing quite a profitable business selling goed-for-r.othing scissors at-fancy prites , by pretending to have been sent to idiffer ent ladies by a neighbor. A IMOTOGHAPHER. in the interior of Michigan advertises among his accesso ries "a new front gate—just the thing for a lover's picture." lie ought to secure:a lively run of custom. IF Noah bad foreseen the future, and killed the two mosquitoes which took re fuge in the ark, he would have rendered some of the strongest words in the Eng lish ilanguags unnecessary. - THE manager of a burlesque troupe will tell you that seeing his show will driv'e away sorrow, and yet he'll get mad as a wet hei3 if you suggest that his ii a woe-begone company. - There Is no circus tent, hnwe'er much watched and tended, But needs some greater care; Therels no hole; however well defended. But has a small by there .. . _ A vtjusci lady pupil of a high schoOl put on a mass of false hair, peneiled her eyebrows, rouged her cheek, etc., and - • then went to the commencement and•read her essay, entitled "Deception a Prevail ing Folly." . ~.11AND-DAUGHTER--, " Butr y ou will go to the funeral of pint. old friend, grandpa?" Octogenarian—" Oh, I don't know. Don't talk to me of funerals. Much as .ever I shall be able •to get to my own." • KANKAKEE has a justice who beats thllin all in the way of doing up a job.of matrimonial splicing with neatness of dis- _ patch. This is his formula i " Have 'er?" "Yes." " HaVe'im?" '"Yes." "Mar- . ried ; $2." - THE sporting season has arrived when the amateur hunter goes into the forest and shoots the farmer's *lO cow under the impression that it is a deer, and after wards pays.the farmer $25 to settle the inatter and keep it quiet. A AIICEIMAN lady is ." amused at the ar .guments prp. and con., allowing the men to smoke in the house. Now I never saw a man who did not smoke in his own , house if he pleased, so I presume the min all allow it." • IF Adam had been created a boy in stead of a full-grown man, he would have_ clubbed all the apples off!from that tree before the serpent hid a chance to get thrOugh the- fence -around the garden.—,: . Still/rater Litt .benrian.. SINCE the "announcement 'made by/a New York religion k weekly a. few weeks ago, that it would give a pocket-pistol tOS each new subscriber, it has more/than doubled its circulation in Teias And Ken tucky.—Norristown herald. Ati Ohio lady writes "When I went to housekeeping I made my vow- (to my self). that I would never use one drop of liquor in my cooking. I have kept house for eight yejtrs, have, been called a good cook, and have never broken my vow." A Los nos -newspaper relates that when a Frenchman, who fell ,overboard from. the Steamer which tOok the Cobden Clnb back from Greenwich, /was rescued and' returned to the deck, .the first =thing ho courteously said was that he hoped bad not . kept the steamer waiting. CHEMICAL lecturer before. the senior' class--" I used to perform this expert, meat, gentlemen; with a cat icor a dog ;t. but, out of regard to . Mr. Bergh,, I not torture any animal this time you can entice a freshman into the— [Wild Applause]. rr you're ever near me, darilnk, - I care for nothing since You are all the world to me-- I'm as hapl& ass prince - • Then she an s wered, bealtatlng,,l /In their eohversatlon•s lull, • Sea, my dear, Itmight ne.ydeasant7 But I'm sure It would be dull." TUE compositor who was told he might when setting up a Speech insert " loud applause or "Cheers, • in order to fill out the line, was summarily discharged when he made the ?pplication , general, and set up.an obituary notice as follows : ."Then. announcement was made yesterday that ` our highly respected ci en, Mr. --,. died in the street " —(1 d applause, etc.) . A LITTLE fellow, f.O / r.oifive years old, •who had never seen a negro, was greatly perplexe&one day when one cameo by _where he and his father wet.% 'and ask'ed : " Pa ! who painted that Man all black so ?" "Heaven did, my son," replied the father. " said the little ;one, still looking after the-negro, "I shouldn't have thought he'd a .held ,still."—Frank • Leal& ie Sunday Magazine. - TIIE' pliilosophy of "married happi ness "-is luminously set by a West ern lady : " If, beforeATarriage, you take too much, pains to secure. admiration and love, you will be v'ery, apt to lose them in stead.: Is it not the same after marriage? If your attentions to, your husband are such that you do notiloyoui duty to your self and others, and Tamper his selliSlinesS, then you wrong not only yourself, but him too. Ile will not respect or- love you as well as if you were a little more independ ent." - FLY Flsuiso. Yesterday aftei. ‘ noon a , bare.legged nine-year-old.boy was seen walking down .Tennessee street froth.' the north. He_ had a string or six bass,.each weighing from three-quarters of a pound_to a pound, in one hand, and a light cane pole ..resting gayly on his shoUlder. The entire cost of his-outfit-was probably ten _cents. An old - angler- stopped him,and looking through his concavo- convex glassei, examined the catch. Beauties and no istake! " Where'd you - cN m?" "Overten the creek," said_ Little Breeches: " Crawfish ?" • " No." . - - • " What then ?" - ' " - Dunno name of . the worm"; find -'em lit rotten wood." • " Not—not grubs ?" " Yea, them's thumgrubs." - The old - angler, who affects fly fish ing, and has $35 worth of tackle, filmed away.in deepest humiliation, while the boy with his tet - sent tackle: and gruh•gotten Um disappeared, in the distance.--Indianapolia Nock.' —Saleni Sunbeam