mum" ar rumgcsermix.
The BRAItIPORD i 11,011121 is losiesatia ono
Thopelay morals; by OgOOIROU lIITOEIDOM
a t one Donorpay asiony, to adroook •
oirAdvertlsheir to oil totes outman Of !lb ,
seription to the paper. • . •
SPECIAL NOTlOW3taittteel at US CantlNl pm.
Roe for first toserttoo, sod viva Oases paellas rot
soh Imssequest worms, hat so Mika Werth'
for leas than fitly can& . • ._ -
YEARLY ADVERTISEMENTS will be looet't
ed et reemotable rates. - •
Administrators and Evocator% N -92;
Auditor's Nottees4l.so; Basseamtards, Ise
(per year) 11, additiona l lines each. .
Yearly advertisers are ;witted to quarterly
changes. -Transient advertisements mast be pal
for in aihrisagt» -
AU resolutions of associations; outitunklillonti
ot, limited or Individual Interest, end norkes of
marriages or deathatimedlng ire Ilnessre dam
ed rico cairn! per Une.litt sielpienoticesOf tou
rism and de Ohs will be published withortehatils.
vhe RoronTrat baring a larger elleulallesi than
any other paper in the minty. wakes IS the - heat
advertising medium In Northers Pennsylvania,
JOB PRINTING of every Wad. In plainland
fancy monk done with neatness and d_Gpetcle.
Handbills, Blanks; Cards. Pamphlets. Mirada
statements, at, oferery variety and style. printed
stifle shortest notice. The Rarcetres sake Is
well supplied with purer presoak is good AMU i
ment of new type. and everything In the printing
line can be executed In the um artistic manner
and at the lowest rates. TRIM INVARIABLY
CASH.
Vusisess 'lobo.
PECK_ k OVERTON
ATTONANILY6-Af•LAW.
TOWAIIDAti,rA.
,u_v46 - vsurox,'Dtui. Y. BIOCI4
ODNEY A. MERCUR,
R
ATTOUNir AT-LAW,
TOWANDA, PA.,
office in Montanyes Block' X 7 1, I%
OVERTON & SANDERSON,
ArtoIIXT.V.AVLAW,
TOWANDA, PA.
E. OVICIiTON. JR. , JOIIN T. BA7tDIRSON
f. WIL JESSUP , • •
•
ATTORNEY AND COIINSIILLOA•AT-LAM,
•
MONTROSE, PA.
Judge'Jessup having resumed the prietteeof the
law in Northern Pennsylvania. will attend to any
l•tgal business Intrusted Whim tp Bradford County.
Persons' wishing to consult him, ran call on H.
Streeter, Esq., Towanda, Pa., when an appointment
can be made.
IMMIX STREET,B,
ATTOTiNZY AND COVNOILLLOR4I , LAW,
TOWANDA, PA.
JAMES WOOD,
ATTORNEY.I.24.AW,
TOWANDA', PA.
12=3
ll - L. TOWNER, Bt, D.,
IItodIEOPATHIC PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON
irm. Residence anti Office just worth of Dri Cor
bin's, on Main Street, Athena, Pa. jun 36 4m.
VA •
L. rtiLL/S,
• • A!IITTORNEY.AT.LAW,
• r:IWANDA, PL.
WH., THOMPSON, ATTORNEY
th VI I LAW, WICALOSIWG, P. Will attend
to alt business 'entrusted to his ears In Bradford,
Solliean and Wyoming Counties. Office with Esq.
Porter. (n0Y1f.74.
11. ANGLE, D. D..S.
4.
OPERATIVE AND ME?fiANICAL DENTIST.
°Mee ou State Street, second door of Dr. Pratt , s
Unice. spr 'M.
VLSB.REE & SON,
ATTOILNETS-AT-LAW,
e • _ Tow Ali DA, PA.
r. C. Et.sintax. L. ELElSitilr.
KINNEY,
ATTORNIM.AT-LAW.
°Moe—Rams formerly °coupled by Y. 111: C. A
Reading Room. U5u.3178.
L McPHERSON,
ATTORNEY-AT-LAW 4
TOWANDA, rA.
Mel Att`y Brad. Co
.TURN W. MIX,
tI 1
ATTORNIX.AF.LAW AND U. S. C010118130211L14.
TOWANDA, PA.
Ocoee—Nosh Side Public Square.
DAVIES k CARNOCHAN,
Arrolorirt-AT-LAW.
SOUTII SIPE OF WABD HOUSE.
Dee 23-71. ToWANDA. PA.
J. ANDREW WILT,
ATTORNEY-AT-LAW..
°Mee over Turner & Gordon'. Drug Store,
Towanda, Pa. May be consulted In German.
[April 12, 111.3
VET J. YOUNG,
VV •
ATTORN ET-AT-LAW,
TOWANDA. PA.
Office—second door south of the First Magma'
Rank Main St., up stairs.
WILLIAMS & ANGLE,
• ATTORNEYS-AT-LAW.
OFFICX.-riroinierly occupied by Wm. Watkins,
M. N. WILLIAMS. (mt. 17, 77) La. ANGLM,
WM.
MAXWELL,
ATTORICZY-AT•LAW.
' TOWANDA, PA.
Oface (wer l Dayton's Storo.
April Ed, 187 g.
Ti F. 9OFF,
ATTORNEY-AT-LAW, -
Poplar street, (one door west of 1./aeleis • Camp.
Chan). Agency for the sale and purchase of all
kinds of S6curities and for making loanson Real
Estate. All business wilt receive careful an prompt
attention. ['June 1879.
.. an 4" p
11,. ,dune li
jMA D flail & CALIFF,
' 1
, ATTORNEYS-AT-LAW, , •
TOWANDA, PA.
k . , " otze a o 4 .= z, B u l p. oc s i t c li first door south of the VIM
r*.
R. J. .MADILL. cianB43ly3 J. N. CALIF?.
-,-- - -
. Dr i t ian S u . d M su . rge W on o o o 2 D ee ß ot tr e ß g.
oN,APshyskiv
)
Crockery store. •
Towanda. May 1,18721 r.
WB. KELLY, DENTIST.—OftIee
In aver M. E. Rosenfield:a, Towanda, Pa.
Teethnserted on Gold; Sneer, Rubber, and Ri.
nmelum base. Teeth estracted without Fain.
Oct. 2472.
D. PAYNE, M. D.,
Pllll'BlCliN AND SUIII4.OIg.
_1.4m0 over Mon tanyes' Store. Office hours from 10
to 12 A. 1111„ and from 7, tot P. to.
Special attentloo given to
I)I3EAsEB rISRASES
Or ' and or
TOE EYE' THE EAU
G. R Y
s 'A N ,
COUNTY 8 L•FGIIIATZSDILXT
()dice day lam SatuMay of each month, pier Turner
Oordon's Drug Store, Towanda, ra.
Towanda, June 20..1878.
MRS. B. PEET,
TEAC)IER OT PIANO MUSIC,
TERMS.-4 10 per term.
(Residence Third street, Ist ward.)
"lesrauds, Jan. 13,79-ly.
C S. RUSSELL'S
GENERAL
INSURANCE AG L ENCY
Yay2BdOtt. TOWANDA. PA.
FIRST, NATIONAL BANK,
TOWANDA. PA.
CAPITAL PAID IN 11150.000
SURPLUS FUND 611,0110
Tble Bank offers unusual facilities fortbe trans
action of a general banking business.
N. N. BETTS, Caddo?.
JOS. POWiLL, President.
SBELEY , S OYSTER BAY AND
EUROPEAN HOURS.—A few doors southof
the Means House. Board by the day or- week on
reasonable terms. Warm meals serred at all bouts
Oysters at wholesale and retail.
EAGLE HOTEL, , •
mourn ettrg Prat= aQtrup.l .
This welt•known house bas been thoroughly ren
ncrrated and repaired throughout, bud the prolate.
tor Is now prepared to offer Arst-elass seetnontoffh.
Gone to the public, on the most reasonable terms.
E. A. JENNINGS. '
Towanda, Pa., May 1., lea.
-711 4 1R 1 - I, — :
1 e
CEN'
AL HOTEL,
11,13TER. PA.
The tuulersigd having taken pussendon
of the above hotel, respectfully aollelrs the patron
age of his old friends and the public genetsily.
an 1641. • M. A.ZOBBUT.
NOTICE 'hereby given. that the
ureteralipted ins been appotnted Remover of
the late 2rm of Pierces Scott.
EMM;=2iMRIZMI
June 8 Isl 9.
GOODRICH* TCHCOCK. Publllhers.
VOLM
Oat on the lawn, one summers flay,
I left my baby build play, • j
And smiled to hear his gleeful shoat
And happy "lee sing In and out _
Among the arches of the trees.
Theis die away upon the berese ;
While all the playtat °chews stirred
merry laugh mid lisping ward.
_ tat when I Mined the cheerful solve, *.
Nor longer heard the prattling TOiCipe
. 1 toss, and to the window tied,
And, looking hence, this vision spied
0, Warmly, though thy name be pain,
Paint, paint that picture o'er again
Tire western sun tris glory threw.
,Ong the (ward of emerald bee,
Rath where, pierebalthe In playful frown,
Some cool, green shadows nestled down,.
And idly starling with the sun
Crept slowly eastward, one by NM,
Beneath the elm.trees waving meat,
Where the wind tossed the blrdllng's' nest,
And where alternate swn and shade
Like changing fancies skipped and played.
The old arm chair, ircare sad good,
With wide-spread arms, Malting stood;
And In Its enablons„ broad and deep,
Grandpa and baby sit asleep.
On rounded cheek and golden head
The sinking sun his radiance shed,
While on the grandsire's silver crown
A single ray dropped softly down,
And then, In benediction fell
Feb 27, ,79
On both; and wrapped them In its spell
The breeze, In froliF;groiring bold,.
Tossed up the rings of shining gold
On baby% brow, then with the gray
On grandpa's head.liegan to play.
In the worn palm, aleurely pressed,
One little dimpled hand found rest ;
The other clasped a withered flower,
Called, all at will, in Natu're's bciwer.
Thal was the look of rad content
On the worn face, a trifle bent;
♦nd forward drooped, to rest the chin
lify baby's clustered curls within;
While on the collar of his coat
The gray and gold together float.
Encivll4l4
Bach tinting one might vainly soak,
As slept ou baby's lip and cheek,
But thin and pale the other one,
A,d sad and careworn, In the sari;
And so the evening shadows fell,
And deeper grew, but all was well.
The 'elm tree boughs now gaunt and bare,
Are tossed about the wintry air,
While pate, wan shadoweconie and go
Upon the lawn, all white with snow ;
But nevermore at eve or dawn, . .
On garden walk or grassy lawn
May I, in vision fair, behold
That little head, with crown of gold,
evermore,on summer day.
That other one, with crown of gray.
Aneatit the dreary, drifted snow,
The silver head, and gold, Ile low ;
Yet evermore. In Joy or pain,
0, Memory I paint that scene again. °
: 7 40rd 2'szapiar
tteb. l l/8.
After Years of Waithg.
" I shall see you to-night, Mrs.
Bathlane ?"
Jan.!, 1175
"At the Grangers • Yes, I shall
be there. I hope it won't be a
crush:"
“ Why ? I rather like a crush.”
"Oh I a crush makes me feel
vicious." '
Rupert Thornbury smiled as he
looked down at the speaker. Some
thing had evidently put her out.
" Are you viciously disposed, Mrs.
Kathlane ? IL is new to-me." •
" I wish you would not call me
that, Rupert. Mrs. Rathlane I You
do it on purpose, and I don't like
it."
The last words were spoken liken
petulant child, and there was a cloud
on the face which looked up for a
moment from the soft, vividly-colored
wools which the white and slender
fingers were knitting; into some in
comprehensible " fancy, work." A
very beautiful face it was, and a
very beautiful woman was little Mrs.
,Kathlane, and no one in the wide
world was more thoroughly con=
vinced of that fact , than Rupert
Thornbury.
She was slight and small in figure
—girlish-looking still despite her
four-and-twenty years. No other
woman would have dared with her
complexion, to wear the colors which
'she did—often in defiance of ordinary
rules. She wore, this morning, a
deep royal purple dress, with purple
bands in her dark hair, and looked
charming. Her hair drooped over
her forehead in lustrious waves, and
was fastened behind with a high
golden comb.. Her face was almost
marvelous in its perfect form and
brilliant' coloring; and her great
dark eyes, with their long labhes,
were enough of themselves to turn
an ordinary man's head.
-" I don't like it," she said again,
glancing at her companion, who was
abstractedly tangling the bright
wools, apparently lost in thought,
"and 1 shall be seriously angry with
you if you persist in being so formal.
For it is formal, 'after yon have
known me since A was a little child,
to speak as though' we were
strangers."
" not call you so again Mili
cont. Only "--r- Mr. Thornbury
paused. -
-
"Only what?" returned the im
perious little lady, giving him an
other searching glance.
"'Things have changed a great
deal laincv you were a child, Milicent.
Youl are a woman now, wealthy,
cimrteil, tattered ; and I—but it is
no goOd of talking of these things.
must by going . Will you promise
me the first waltz to night Y"
" Certainly. I hope you appreci
ate . my kindness. I waltz very
rarely, you know." •
"I do appreciate it ; -and now I
must go down to that 'stupid old
office,' as you call it, and make up.
- for lost time. Good morning, Mill
cent •, don't forget your promise,"
and then he was gone. Gone, and
unconscious, as he walked swiftly
down the street, that Milicent Kath
lane's dark eyes were looking after
him', and Unit 'belt she turned back
to' her work, a soft sigh fluttered
from her beautiful lips, and a shadow
clouded her face.
Ile bad known , her, as she said,
since she was a little child ; and he,
a strong, rude lad, bad loved the
flower-faced , little Milicent dearly;
and when at the age of eighteen, be
had been `sent' away from home to
qualify himself to play a part in the
work of life, it was with a secret
determination to return after years
had pissed and Claim her. Although
she was.: a child not a dozen pars
Aril 1. Ina
WM. S. VINCI; NT. ,
ME
Seek , -
01.11DPA AID BUT. • 1
Itlftled e.
1 .1
1It1;!.
old, she had taken the warmest place
In his warm heart for her own.
Years passed by, and Rupert
Thornbury worked hard and well,
but the fortune he so ardently wished
for never came. He was an honor
able man;, and, crushing his - own
heart back, he took his father's
burdens on his strong young should
ers, and bore them bravely. Only
once he faltered, and that was when,
after scarcely six _years had passed
since he first went out into the world,
news came to him that Milicent, his
"little Milly," was married. 'lt was
her father's wish, the gossips • said.
Mr. •Xathlane, the suitor, was im
mensely wealthy, and having been
fascinated by Milicent's beauty, her
parents had used; ail their influence
with her, and the end was she mar
ried. ilicent, now Mrs. Xathlane,
went away to her husband's home
and Rupert Thornbury went on with
his dull, distasteful labor, with not
even the old boyish dream to lighten
his task.
Six years more passed slowly by,
making many changes in the affairs
of both. lkiri Kathlane died sudden
ly after two or three years of married
life, and Milipent went abroad with
some friends. -
She had been back nearly a year
now, and had settled down to a town
life. During this period the old
childish friendship for Rupert
Thornbury had been warmly re
newed, and Rupert had: discovered
that, charming as she was in her
childhood and girlhood, now that
she was a woman she was infinitely
more so.
During this year life . bad grown a
deal brighter to" Mr Thornbury ;
he was prosperingolowly and stead.
ily, and had gained many friends.
Anxious mammas louked ' upon him
with favor, and many bright eyes
gave him bewitching glances—
hitherto in vain. His whole
heart and be knew it was
still with Miliceat Kathiane; bat
her marriage bad raised her, both as
to Wealth and position, so far above
himself that he did not,. except at
some fond delusive moment, dare to
aspire to her. He was only a city
man, plodding on in his dote city
office, with his three. or four clerks
under him.
"How beautiful she is r he
thought, as he walked away from the
house. ",Just the same little Milly
at heart, too, as in the dear old days.
And her glances—oh, if I might
dare to believe in them !—seem as
true to me as they were .then. Hat
what would the world say ?"
That night saw him at . Mrs.
Granger's, a fashionable woman with
several daughters, one of whom,
Cormeliti, had made a dead set .at
Mr. Thornbnry. He stood in ,the
lighted rooms, watching eagerly' for
Milicent ; but it was Lot until very
late when she arrived. As she came
down the long room—moving as
though she bad been, from , earliest
childhood, accustomed to reign in
society—a murmur of Admiration
followed her. 1
She was dressed in a trailing robe
of pale silvery blue, with an over
dress of soft white lace ; her beautiful
neck and arms were bare, save for
their ornaments of fretted gold ; her
face was untouched by paint or
powder, and her,vivid coloring made
her beauty seem almost unearthly as
compared - with some of the inane
faces around her. Her black hair,
elaborately dressed, was fastened
here and there with drooping sprays,
looping her overdress, and - in ber
jeweled boquctere, the scarlet buds
glowed and burned.
"Is she not loirely In That was a
question which every one could have
answered in the affirmative. And
many an envious 'heart was hidden
under the smiling faces which greeted
her.
" There is Mrs. Kathiane, Mr,
Thornburg," said Cornelia Granger,
a tali, pale, ill-natured girl, to whom
Rupert bad been saying civil noth
ings for the last few minutes ' and
who Was furiously jealous of Mrs.
Kathlane in her heart of hearts.
" You gentlemen are wild about her,
I believe. Red and blue—what ex
cruciating taste I wonder her maid
does-not teach her better."
"Every one has not yonreritical
eyes, Miss Granger," said Rupert,
laughing. " I thought her dress
charming."
"Of course." . Miss Cornelia was ,
not an amiable girl, as we have said,
and .that moment her temper was
inching her rather sourly. " Per
haps you make one of those who are
wild over her, Mr. Thornbury ?"
" ItWould be no use to me, I ex
pect, if I were," replied Aupert, in
his candor.
" Well, I suppose not—as . she soon
is to be married again."
"Married again I" he uttered.
"So reports run, "
said Miss
Granger, hying with her fan.
"To whom ? I have not heard of
" To Mr. Worthington, a cousin of
her late husband, you know."
" I know - him," cried Rupert,
feeling as he knew not - how. " Dick
Worthington's - not worthy of her.
It would be desecration."
"She may not think so. It is said
that there was a great deal of in
tAmacy before Mr. Kathlane died.
She married him simply for his
,She
well known--and the
handsome cousin used to be a fre
quent visitor. There was a great
deal of gossip about, it at , the time,
lit:id—but there's Dick Worthington
now. Look how her color 'rises
when she speaks to him."
. 6 Are -you quite certain your in
'formation is correct, Miss Granger?"
The pale eyes glanced at him, and
then looked away.
" About the engagement ? Quite
sure, Mr. Thornburg. . At least,: the
world is sure of it. I am neither
more nor less wise than it."'
Mr. Thombury .did not change
color at the news, or seem, in reality,
to feel much surprised ; he stood
laughing and chatting with - the young
lady for a few moments on different
subjects, and then excusing himself,
sauntered across the room to where
Mrs.-Kathlane sat, surrounded by an
admiring group, of whom. Richard
Worthington was one.
" It, is my waits," said Mr. s Thom.
bury, aa she looked tip, and greeted
' , i-
if :: , 1.:! "i:,: ,-" , i. , : ..,
TOWANDA, BRADFORD COUNTY, Pg., ~T HURSDAY MOWING, DULY 17, 1879.
him with one of her brightest, smiles.
" Or areyou.tod tired I"
"Tired ?" She laughed a little
silvery laugh as she arose, " I am
never tired of dancing. Richard,,; I .
will leave my Sowers - and fan with
you as a hostage." ; •
it was _nothing, this leaving with
him her fan and dowers—it was like
a thousand little coquettish ways
which she had—but Rupert thinking,
oh, how , bitterly I of what bad just
been told him, fancied that he saw
something deeper than her usual
light coquetr) , in the glances she
gave the handsome young fellow,
and groaned in spidt. It seemed a ,
full confirmation of, what he ,had
heard. _
" One, two, three. One, two,
three. You are shockingly out ,of
step, Rupert I" Said she, after the
first turn. "What is the matter Y .
You look as if you had seen s,
ghost." -
"I have," he said, almost grimly,
"the ghost of a dear hope," and she;
half frightened at his tone, looked at
him questioningly. But in another
moment he smiled back at her, and.
she was reassured.
"Don't talk nonsense ,
Rupert. -
There you . are dancing beautifully
now. What were, you,. and that
odious Cornelia Granger talking
about so long ?" *- •
" Odious, do you call her ?"
" Well, I do, Rupert. think her.
so •, she has not a spark of good
feeling in her. Don't you gv and
tell her now 1" . '
"Do you think she is truthful,
Milicent
"No, [don't. Take care." ;
They whirled lightly through the
mazy figures of the waltz;'admiring
eyes followed their every motion,
jealous eyes resting upon them from
many of the fair mothers of fairer
daughters; while the sterner sex
looked on ' with envy at the favor
shown for our hero by the most be
witching woman in the room.
On they whirled, the admired and
envied of the gaudily illuminated
balls, faster and faster.
" How beautifully they waltz i"
Even Cornelia Granger involun
.airly spoke in admiration, and a
slender youth near her gave it , as his
opinion that "Thistledown couldn't
be lighter than Mrs. Kathlarre in a
waltz." •
"Are you tired ?" said Rupert,
looking down at. the beautiful Dice;
and Milicent for answer said she:
could keep on forever. And so they
danced on. until Rupert saw the
bright Color fading away, and the
sensitive mouth beginning to droop
a little at` the corners.
" You are tired," he said, and
then, Wore she could answer, he
whirled her through the low, open
window into the cool, fresh air, on
the balcony.
" Thanks," sbe said. " I believe I
was a little faint. Will you let my
cloak ?" and then, until her cloak
came, she sat quiet, like a child,
with head resting wearily on the
" The next dance but one is
Richard's," she said, as he wrapped
the soft, white cloak around her
tenderly. " I must not alight him.
But I will stay out here until then,
unless you wish to go back—in
which case I will not keep you with
me. I am engaged for every one of
them, .1 am afraid. I could have
been engaged three or four times
over," she added, laughing. "I am
sorry,.Repert,
" 4 No matter," he interrupted her
almost rudely. .
_ 66 I must get used to
it,.l suppose." He was standing be-,
fore her, looking down at her } and
,i
she,. in her pretty, imperious way;
laid - her band on his arm. '
"- You are cross to-night," she,
said. "Sit down beside me, and tell
what it is that troubles you."
He hesitated for a moment, and
then with a reckless determination to
disclose everything, and afterwards
leave her forever, he told her the
story of his long love for her; told
her in a fierce, hard way; which elf.
( 1,
most frightened her, and yet - mad
her reverence and admire him "mor 1 ,
perhaps, than ,She had done before.
." I have loved you, Milken - W-1
love you now more than you cap im
agine, and have not told .your because
—because you are so far 'removed
from me in everyway. I feared you
would think-me mercenary. I feared
—O. Milicentl Heaven only knows
how I have loved you; how I have
longed to tell' you, and yet I have
not the courage. Now it is too late,
either for harm or good. I shall
pray for your happiness always with
the man you have chosen."
• "What do you mean, Rupert I"
The profound wonder in her voice
made him hesitate. " I healtd of
your engagement with Mr. Worth
ington."
"Who has told you that ?" she
asked. But in the same moment
Richard Worthington stepped
through the window, and came , to
wards them. - •
• " I have been searching for you
everywhere," he said, laughing in his
boyish, good-natured way. "It's my
dance, most respected Cousin
Miii
cent."
And she was forced to go,
with
out another word to the man beside
her.
"Rave' ,you and Mr. Thornbury
been quarreling ?" said Richard, who,
to do him justice,, was entirely in
nocent of any thought of Dirs. Bath
lane, or anybody else, as a wife.
"He looked black as a thundercloud,
and you are pale." .
"I was a little faint after the
waltz," she answered. " Don't tease
me, Dick," and so Richard Jeisisted,
from his inquiries.
. Meanwhile Rupert -Thornbnry, left
alone with only 'his own thoughts
for company,--sat as utterly and en
tirely wretched ass man can feel bat
once in a lifetime. Inside the room
the music kept untiringly on; the
gay dancers floated past the win
dows; every face was bright with
smiles. Outside- here, in the dark
ness, a man sat alone, struggling
bravely to lift up his cross and bear
it uncomplaintingly.
Bow long he sat there he knew
not, bat at last be roused himself, and
.rose le his feet. • ,
" I .must go , back," .he said;
" Cornelia Granger- will have
MEE
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turanDuss or DWUNCILTION PRON ANY. (MANTEL
delicate bit of gossip if she sees ose
here:".
Bo he went in and showed himself,
and said a few words to Miss
-Granger, and strolled• about he knew
1:106 whither, talking to one, talking
to another;and presently found him
self up stais near the.
The library door stood *jay, and as
he entered, a --- little figure all in
silvery blue and white: lace, with
scarlet buds glowing and burning
here and there. turned and advamwd
a - step toward' • him. There were
tears the great black eyea, - and the.
red lips trembled like. a grieved
child's/. ,
, Y.Yersus ituntrue l -Milleent 1 1
Eseiy *ardor it. Dick, indeed!,
tab. Rupert -
Het clasped let, lunide almost
rudely.,
YOu aro not engag — ed
Only a looked answered him, and
Milieent whispered that she never
should be engaged unless it was to
him.
A. pity but Misa Cornelia Granger
had just then chanced to look into
the library.
After waiting so many years.
BOOKS AND NEWSPAPER&
A Datchman,sitting at the door of
his tavern in the Far 'West, is ap
proached by a tall thin Yankee, who
is emigriding westward on foot, with
a bundle on a cane over his should
er.
" Veil, Mishter Valking Stick, vat
you vant?" inquired the Dutchman.
"Rest and refreshments," replied
the printer.
Supper and lotchin, I reckon?"
"Yes, sir; supper and lodging if
you please."
"I'e ye a Yankee peddler,wid chew
clay in your pack to sheet ter gal?"
"No air, - 1 am no Yankee peddler."
"A aingin' master too layzy to
work ?"
"No, sir."
"A shenteel shoemaker, rot loves
to measure Le galat-feetand liankels
better tan to make to shims?"
"No, sir; or I should have mend
ed my own shoes."
" A bOok achent, vot bodders to
school committees till they do rot
you vish, choost to got rid of you ?"
"Guess again, sir. lam no hook
agent."
"-Te teyfebi I a dentist, breaking
the people's jaws at a dollar a shank
add running off mit my daughter?
"No air; I am no tooth-puller."
"Prenologus, den, feeling to young
folks' beads like so many cabbiteh ?"
"No, I am no phrenologist?"
"Veil ten; vat the teyfels can you
be ?" °boost tell, and Labatt have the
best twine for supper, and ehtay all
night, free gratis, mitout a cent, and
a chill of whisky to start mit in the
• o
morning."
"I am .t humble disciple of Faust
—a professor of the art that preserves
It
all a a typographer , at your ser
vice."
"Vo It dot?"
" A printer, sir, a man that prints
books and newspapers."
"A man vot printish nooshpaperst
Oh yaw I yaw! ay, flat ish it. A man
vot printsh nooslipapers I Yaw ! yawl
Valk up! a man vat printsch noosh
papers ! 1 wish. I may be shot if I did
not think you vas a poor teyful of a
dishtriek schoolmaster, who vorks
for notin', and boards round I thought
you vas him."
itqui:4ol:)yvsizi
Some curious chemical investiga
tions made recently in England, have
been reported in the , Journal of the
Royal Chemical Society. The prep.
aration of artificial champagne is one
off' them. First of all we are told the
amount of alcohol, sugar, acids, etc.,
which a genuine French champagne
contains, and then informed bow
this can be imitated by chemical
science.. The steel is to have ge
latine added to it', to precipitate
tannic acid, and, after. filtration, it is
flavored by the 'edition of sugar,
tartaric acid, .glycerine, and cognac
or spirits of wine. An agreeable
aroma is given by extract of violet,
celery, heliotrope or jasmine. If a
a red wine' is desired, an alcoholic
extract or bilberries is added. Truly,.
science is a wonderful thing, thus to
convert, or. the instant, a white wine
into a red one. If the wine is, not
sufficiently cremant, the addition of
gum arable will remedy the mstter.
And glycerine seems to play an im
portant part, in manufacturing chem
istry just now. We have the word
of the Royal Society that it is
possible to adulterate milk with 3
per cent. of glycerine Water without
the possibility of detection by the'
usual modes of txamination. This
Journal of the Chemical Society also
tells its readers what to use instead .
of copper salts to make preserves
and pickles look green. Manufac
turers, as we are told, have been in
duced% in order to improve the ap-..
peanince of the preserved article to
restore the green color by the midi-
Lion of a salt of copper. A much
more harmless and equally effective
coloring agent has been obtained by
these chemists by. dissolving the
chlorophyne from parsley or other
similar plant with a solution of
caustic soda. Evidently,. young
chemists
_have a wide field open+ to
them.
Remarks of the President of the
Lime Kiln Club on the glorious
Fourth : “Gengen, Kit up in the
mawnin' and be - thankful that we
licked de British. A yell or a whoop
now and - den will be in order. Bev
de ole woman put in a few extra
licks on de dinner table. Git de
chill'en some torpedoes an' fire
crackeris an' make dem nnderstan'
dat George Washington nebber tole a
lie ' Keep outer de way of shotguns
and canons. Doan' try to drink a
hull bar'l of lemonade, jist bekase it
dome cost you anyfing. If you go
up, to de - rapes doan' bet on any of
de hoses, kase de hull pile may come
out behind. - Take in de fire-works.
call in de dog, and go to bed feelin'
that a kentry like our own am wort
dyite for right in de coldest weather.
We will "now wind ourselves up for
one week.--Detroit Free Press.
IT requires a veteran sailor to Imes:lel
navigate a hardship. .
MI
At, TAMEABLE EPISODE,
YOU Omer TOOL bui If rot nAvir. DOT
YOUR CLOTHES ON.
Spann Jamul.
A laughable episode occurred in
this city, in which the practical joker
hid the tables turned upon him in a
manner occasioning -no end of fun to
the party enable friends. A certain
disciple of Esculapius, who loves a
joke, is the owner of a fine skeleton,
set up in such a Manner that by ,
opening the door *of the. receptacle,
and touching a spring the bony
object will walk forward several
steps and out of the door. 'Among
many pests and detriments to study
and thought which this physician
is daily subjected to, is the frequent
intrusion of apple, orange and other
fruit venders, in the shape of small
boys. The other day while in alose
proximity to the 'door of the closet
in which the skeleton is kept, the
good doctor's reverie was broken off
by the entrance of one of those
youthful venders with a shrill cry :
" Want to buy any apples?" Think
ing to have some sport at the apple
vender's expense, the worthy physi
cian suddenly threw open the closet
door, and touching the spring, forth
stalked the "skeleton, in' al! his bony
majesty. A basket was instantly
dropped to the floor, a half bushel of
apples- rolled broadcast ..over the
room, while a terribly scared youth
was seen disappearing through the
office doors with shrill cries. After
enjoying a quiet laugh, the physician
busied himself in picking up and re
storing to the basket the scat'ered
fruit, expecting the lad would return
in a moment for his stock in trade.
After a brief interval, the physician
noticed from the window the lad
standing in the street, gazing spell
bound at the office door. Seeing the
lad evinced no disposition to return
for his basket and fruit, the doctor
carried the same to the door, which
he opened, and calling.to the lad, re
quested him to come and get it.
Judge of the doctor's surprise when
he was greeted with the following
response to his invitation : "No you
don't, you can't fool me if you have
your clothes on." Now it happened
that a friend of the physician, who is
tall and thin, and not blessed with a
single ounce of superfluous-flesh, was
passing the office and beard the re.
mark of, the lad. and having ase.er
taized the cause which called it forth,
the situation was too ludrierous to
keep, and the various friends enjoyed
many a laugh at the doctor's expense
over the incident.
silizyvvvzioawd
Wood M•untaln Letter to Chicago Tribune.
Some little time ago . your local
correspondent at this point sent you
an account of Custer's death which
turns out to have beep erroneous. An
Indian represented to him that Custer
shot hints:lf when he saw his troops
abandoning him. Conversations with
several warriors who were present at
the fight, and with Obo, a brother of
Little-Knife, demonstrate that the
suicide, was accidental, and that the
officer was not Custer. Obo says he
saw the officer and attar-Iced him.
The officer turned his horse and fled,
shooting at Obo over his shoulder as
the Indian. pursued.. One of the shots
intended for Obo, instead of passing
over the officer's shoulder, pierced
his breast, _ and he fell dead at the
redskin's feet. • Three or four warri
ors corroborate each other in their
description of Caster's fate. Ile was
cheering on his men and firing his
pistol in the air—the cavalry signal
to charge. From the start be' was in
advance of his command, and, when
he fell, was between the Indiana and
his flying squadrons. While trying
to restore some kind of order in' his
broken ranks, • a stray•shot killed a
young buck not far from the Gener
al's position. The buck's brother,
lad fifteen years of age, seized the
dead warrior's gun, and, taking de
liberate aim, shot Custer dead, and
the battle was finished. My. inf-rtn
ants described Custer accurately, as
they saw him before and after the
shot.---They knew him well ; and
there was great rejoicing in the camp
that night over the death of the ter
rible enemy. The boy is still in the
camp; and there is a deep notch in
his "conpstick ". to represent the
taking off of one of the beat Indian
fighters the plains ever knew. After
the battle they gathered around the
remains of "Long flair," as they
called him ;" and loud and jubilant
*as the requiem they sang over the
dead soldier.
".TimE WOODS IS FULL OP
This expression is in frequent, use in
this State, both in conversation and
composition, and yet its origin is pro
bably only known to one in a thous
and of those who use it. A gentle
man who claims to know, gave a re
porter for the Saturday News the fol
lowing as the manner in which it was
first used :
In the neighborhood of Washing.
ton, Wayne County, lived a well
known character named Bill Dean.
He was what is generally termed a
"smart Aleck," always endeavoring
to perpetrate a joke at somebody's
expense. One day, while riding to
Richmond, every fact of which he
knew, he espied an old gentleman
named Cheezum, accoutred for a
hunt, earnestly , looking up a tree.
Approaching him, Dean asked
" Can you tell me the way to Rich
mond ?" -
" There was two of 'em run
this 'ere- tree," was the response of
the old gentleman, who was some
what deaf.
"I didn't ask you anything about
squirrel& How far is it. to Rich
mon i ?"
"One of 'em just went in,that hole;
didn't you see him ?" said the old
man earnestly.
Out of patience, Dean yelled out
"-You must be a d—d tool I"
" Yes," Cheezurn responded. still
gazing upward, "the woods is full of
ern."
THE prolesaional pedestrian is the man
who runs and- reads—his wore on the
blackboard.
&ram= ought of right be the pride of
the year—for summer, like pride, goes
before fan.
, ..• ..•_.. ..: ~...-....7 .
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4.
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~
IMBUE&
Breathed &MindMe - witt and . low. •
01114isie colas come Mid
Watspering In melodic= measures
Memories of delightful pleasures,' •
Sootbtatearsry dreamy sense '
In delicious Indolence—.
Llquid musk wit= sweet ilow
-Wafts me beet *long ago.
New I gate is loim•Ut eyes,
Where a dreamy languor lies; .
flee the silken lashes part,
• - Curtains of the impassien'd heart ; -
• .In lore , " sunlight o'er me easr„;__— , •
Passion-dowers are springing fast.
And the founts of feeling Sow, •
As they gusted in years ago. _1 .
ratting faintly es my ear.
Lotedlke whlspbrlngs I hear;
Waite s hand sat'scift arid idles
Thrills DM wltblq presmre.sUght ;
An 4 a well-remembered face
Tefl me thought ' s no words may trace
Youth Or ntanbood, feat or strife,
Lore WOW the mud of life.
" THOUGHTS."
Sitting st my window, - -
I watched their faces as they parsed,
Carelma t happy laughing faces,
Others with their tear-drop traces.
E'eo their walk a story told,
Sometimes joy, and sometimei si:crow,
Many Using/or today., .' . ' •
And many waiting:fur to-shorroto.
, .
And I thought.,
Haw oar lives are Wrapped In Mystery, ;
Emery Munn heart Ha history,
And God only holds the key
• Which will unlock their secrecy.
California, June, tars. • , 11. T. B.'
" Little Golden Hair" they called
her, the -bright beautiful baby who
came into the world• one sunny June
Morning. It may have been for
the short yellow curls that clustered
about' the little head, or it may have
been for the long golden ray of sun
sh'ne that streamed in upon the baby,
crownicg her with a halo of golden.
light. I cannot tell, baby never knew
another name. Poor little Golden
Hair! It was a dark, cold world she
entered that bright June day ; for
baby's father was a drunkard, and all
that day he bad lain on the floor of
the miserable little cottage, sleeping
off the effects of his last night's ca
rousal ; and now, just at night, be
staggered in, with short, uneven steps
and a pale,, haggard face, to look at ,
baby. •
"John," said his wife; trying to
smile, while the to stood in_b_er.
eyes; "isn't she beautiful, our Hitt°
daughter?"
"Yes, as pretty as most babies are
I suppose," said Mr. Harper, roughly.
44 Oh, John I" pleaded his wifei"for
baby's sake ? give up drink ; won't
you?" she added, piteously.
Mr. Harper said nothing, but that.
evening he stayed tat home, the first
time in week?. Months passed away
and found Mr. Harper a sober man.
No liquor had passed hisJips since
baby came, and Mrs. Harper's was a
life of daily thanksgiving and prayer
for strength for her husband. But
the temptation at length proved too
great and he fell. It was a dreary
December night. All day the snow
had ben falling, and the wind whis
tled about the cottage; The old
clock on the church steeple 'struck
nine, and ten, and still Mr. Harper'
delayed his coming. Bending wear
ily over some work, Mrs. Harper sat.
waiting, one foot on the rocker of
Golden Hair's cradle, listening, while
Eddie, who beside baby was her only
child, read to her from a book which
he had borrowed from a neighbor.
At last the old clock struck eleven.
Eddie cloied his book 'with an ex
clamation of surprise.
"Oh! ma what does keep father;
will he never come ?" heafiked going
to the window and striving to look
out through the falling snow. .
" les dear," answered the mother,
cheerfully, although weighed down
with inward fear and anxiety.
"too to bed- now, mywm • it is
very late." Eddie was an obedient
boy and at once started away.
There is no need to describe the
scene that followed; In one hour,
Mr. Harper, shorn of his very man
hood, was lying' in a drunken slum
ber on the little bed, once more
slave to the fiend of intemperance.
. Thus passed a year. Meanwhile
little Golden Hair grew more and
more beautiful. Each day saw some
added grace, and her sweet, winning
baby ways were a constant source of
delight to Eddie and her mother.
One evening, as the father staggered
in, as usual, little Golden Hair tod
dled 'to the door to meet him, giving
a happy little shout, as she lisped
some words her kmother had taught
her to say : "I love 'oo, papa" and
the bosom heaved with sobs.
"Get out of my way tell you,"
and. the drunken man raised his
heavy hand. Mrs. Harper and Ed
die rushed forward, but• the heavy
blow had descended, and little Gold
en Hair lay upon the floor, the blue
eyes closed and the winsome 'voice
hushed forever, the mother thought,
as she raised the senseless_form while
Eddie rushed for the physician. The
father was sober in ,an instant.
"Mary give her to me. Have I
killed her ? Oh I have killed her,"
he sobbed, as his Wife had the prec
ious burden in his outstretched arms.
—"God knows I did 'not mean to
hart you, Golden Hair; my pet my
darling. Wake op little one and
tell papa you forgive him," he cried,
smoothing the long golden curls
lying over his arm, and then, unable
to contain himself , wretched man
sobbed like a child.
Eddie soon returned, bringing with
him the family physician; an old, gray
headed man, with whom little Gold
en Hair was a favorite. All that
could be was done, and the little one
soon opened-her eyes, and lantuidly
looking around said, slowly, as her
eyes rested slowly on her - father: "I
love 'oo, papa."
" Oh! baby! Oh! Golden Hair!
Anything but that," exclaimed the
wretched man and then added, al:
most frantically: " Doctor, save my
baby save my little Golden Hair,
and I will never taste another drop
of liquor of any kind—so ;help me,
Godl" he added reverently.
" Dod love me, too,"/.7inoaned ,the
childish little voice feebly,ita she fell
into along, long slumber.
God spared Golden Hair l that •
"
P
--.1. Rarett.
Ay4llol,4*)Aom;S:flall
BY ELIZA M. SBEIIMAN-.
OM
ME
81.00 per Annum In,Advanoo.
and the fattier kept his word,- but
baby never walked again. All day
long she sat patiently in her'ehair or
crib, chattering in her pretty baby
fashion to manlina, papa and brother
"Oh, Motheil cried Eddie One
day, after a:vain attempt to make the
little one stand on herfeet; "it was
whiskey Wilt aia this; iaid I bate it !
oh, I hate it l"
And the boy .burst Into a passion
of tears and wept lonkand bitterly.
" Eddie, it , is a lesson I hope you
will always-remember. Whenever
you look at little Golden 'Hair, think
'this is the work of liquor, the effects
of intemperance, sind-shun it,my boy,
AK you would- poison, for it is poisoii
of the most deadly kind. It destr,oys
life and happiness in this world and
the world to &owe. There, my boy,"
she added, painfully, though:wars
stood in her eyes-; " I--have given
you. quite a temperance lecture.
Dear little forgiving Golden }lair!
Every morning ishe met her father
with a kiss and the sweet words, " I
love you papw" But, as another
year went by, the little form grew
more and • more shadowy, the eyes
larger and the little fingers more and
more delicate and waisted. Each day
the old physician eame, but, he gave
no hope, and at last, on being closely
questioned. said, with brimming eyes,
." Golden Hair is going home.
And so .the day glided on! &anti
ful, vine wreathed summer came
again, and it was rose time. Mr.
Harper, was "'a changed man. By
baby's bed side he had giv_en himself
to God, and there also he signed the
temperance pledge. The old - house
was exchanged for a neat pretty cot
tage and but for one thing it would
have held -a happy family. The pet,
the dialing of the household was fad
ing sway. Even the June sunshine,
the song of the birds, and most of all;
the dear home love could not keep
her. At last God sent his messengers,
and Golden Hair went away to is
home more besaitiful than' this.
There, was a strange ceremony at
the little funeral that June dity, foi
many children. were gathered' there,
and, at Mr. Harper's own request, .a
short temperance pledge had been
'drawn up, and by the side of the M
ile white dower Strewn coffin, all the
children presentiigned it, promising
to, taste not, touch not, handle not,
anything that could intoxicate, and
many or them remembering little
Gulden Hair's. sad fate have faith
-fully kept it. •
EASILY ,SATISFIED.—The race is
not. alliays to the swift, nor the bat
tle to the strong, nor- is it the man
with the largest month who gets the
most favors in this world.' The oth
er morning. o,k - wry quiet• stranger en
tered areal estate office on_Griswold
street and softly asked if he could
use a blotting pad a moment. One
was handed' him, and 'he sat down to
a- table, looked around and said :
"Ah thanks ; but have you pen and
ink?'' They were furnished him.
II?. tried the pen on the pad, shook
the ink arotind, and modestly contin
ued: " Could•you spare me:a sheet
of paper ?"• A sheet was.handed him.
Ile wrote a brief letter, folded it up,
and whispered : "I shall beg an en
velope of 'you." An envelope . was
passed over, and when he had direct.,
ed it t he looked all over the table, un
der the table, up at the ceiling, and
inquired : " You couldn't lend me a
stamp, could you ?" - A three-cc:Aer
was handed out, and when -it had
been licked on, the stranger rose and
started out, saying, "As you have
no office bOy, I suppose I shall have
to take this letter to the office my
self."--Free Press. -
•
OLD C unquEs IN Aatzatca.--Dean
Stanley, ivho, visited -this country a.
few months ago, in an article in Mac
millan's Magazine on "The Histori
cal Aspect of the American Chtulih
es," says that many of the old -Epis
'copal Churches along the :Atlantic
coast, some of' which are built of
bricks brought from <England, are
modeled after the old London Church
of St. Martin's-in-the-Fields, and that
they retain the high reading desk,
towering phlpit, and creed and com
mandments on the wall, all of which
have slisappeartd from nearly emery
church in London: - Then Dean sug
gests that the future English anti
quarian will hare to come to Atheri
ea to study ancient English Church
architecture. There are in these old
buildings, he says, numerous folio
prayer Looks, which were presented
to the parishes by Queen Anne and
Geor g e L, with leaves showing the
mark's, at the place of the prayers for
the royal_ family, where they were
pasted together daring the time of
the Revolution.
OLD HICKORY'S BLUFF WAY.-
Long years after the capture of Sto
ny Point, when Andtew Jackson was
President, a visitor at the White
House remarked thit the postmaiter
in his town (who " held over ") was
an enemy to the President—had
even been heard to call him "a'
scoundiel"--ttnd urged the removal
of the ill-mannered officer.
"What Sort of a: person is he ?"
inquired the President. -
The visitor admitted that the post
master was an aged and honorable
man, and incidentally remarked that
he was one of the survivors of the
battle of Stony Point. •
" What l" said the President, ris
ing from his chair,".was he really -
with Anthony Wayne at Stony
Point ?" - -
"Ile_ certainly was," replied the
visitor.
" Well, then," said _Old Hickory,
"by the Eternal! he has a perfect .
right to call me a scoundrel every
day hi the week, and to be postmas
ter daring his natural life I".—From
the Hartford Post. -
A nt3satwo sayin g to his wife ; 4 ' Dear,
do as you please , "prevents squalls on
matrimonial seas, and preserves the lord
and master from the ill-bred taunts - of his
wife's sisters, conduit and aunts.
Mousy is sometimes called " tin " be
can • ;the possessor of a large quantity of
it ". stiways a distinguished person. -
Gabit wine needs no busk; but it can
not get along without a label printed in
gorgeous colors and with a comet brand
ed On the bette*Age tot tkc cork.
• - ' - cAciiiiiiii. ;:t ',4":
, -
Lieutenant doveroner Tabor, .of
Colorado; is one of - the newly-risen
millionaires. If a reward was offered
for a man worth $3,000,000, npbody
wunktpiek - him out oazaroadway.-
Ile _was a2pPor Vermont_ boy who
drifted,Ylitonnil-,09 3 .k4 diggings
were f ormaabout _twenty years ago
irolind - Gro City he , moved there and
kept a little store. )19 bad no early
luivantsiges," and seemed doomed to
remain for lifeon the summits - el the
Rocky' Mountains with. about $l,OOO
of stock -under hie root Two toff
biers came along a year ago, I littlA
peorer than himself, and wantes49oo,...
He gave them what is called 'a "grub
stake," that is, a barrel of flour and
a bagPf bacon saying : "You might:
as well work if I ani,to teed you. (lo
dig somewhere for ore !" There two
Men found the Little Pittsburg Mine
within nfew weeks, by which one of
them received $262,000 another $325,-
060, and Tabor has already had more
than $1,000,000 °neat the property,
besides being in consolidatisimi. Ile
is a modest, unaffected man, who has
not changed his habits in the least.
That . discovery, hewever made -him'
Lieutenant Governor of the State.
ilitIME
II
NUM= 7
- ANCEDOTZ OP BEN. BUTLEEL—IIe
was• called only a person who want
ed to have a talk with him. _ i`
"Mr. Butler," said he, " one of my
neighbor's cows - jumpe my garden
I d
gite last night and ;comp etely
destroyed ~,my flower beds. The
gate was of the height requi by
law.. Now I wish to know whether
I can .obtain damages?"
" Moat assuredly," replied the wid
ows' friend. • -'
"Oh, about ten - dollars." -
"But Mi. Butler, triumphantly,
" the cow was yours." T,
• " A h " said Mr. Butler thought
fully ; and he looked unutterable
things out of his bad eye.- Then he
turned to his desk, scratched off a
few lines on a piece of paper and
handed to a 'visitor. It Iras in the
form of oh account, and read as fol
.
lows : H
" B. F. Butler to Dr., to
daniagea.cansed by coy!, ; Cr., by
legal advice, $l5; balance due, $5-
" Mr. —," said Mt. Butler, soft
ly, ?you needn't burry abonftbeTay
ment."
SUCKING pows.—A correspondent
of the Indian Farmer from Labette,
Kansas, used the following contriv
ance to •prevent cows from sucking
themselves: "Cows may be cured of
the habit of sucking themselves' by
the use of two sticks lona enough-to
reach from the buts of the horns to
the back of the shoUlders.• Cut
notches in loth ends of the - sticks
and secure 'one end of . each to the
base of the'eciw's horns. - Then pass
a.rope around the body just back of
her fore legs.. - kasten the other ends
of the sticks to this rope by means of
knots about midway-of each side. ; I
will pay for all the milk the' cow
gets when the above directions are
followed.'.' • •
BE happy,.and you will be virtuous.
DAvin7s sling was not of the sling yari
-
A WOMAN is never too 04 to go on a
,
rampage. ,
PEDESTRIANISM is - trampling pugilism
oat of notice.
ALSATIAN b,ws don't propel an arrow
worth a cent.
TUE man Who wears tight boots as a
rule gets corned':
Pumas lioncare most - toothsome
,m , lien
they -hive , been - roasted on prairie fires.
IT is a physical impossibility for the
members of a "iring" to do things orr,tho
square._ - . _
THE reign of the umbrella dynasty is
perpetual one, even in this anti-monaren
lea! land.
WHEN star actors plaito small audien
ces, they vise or small to the rank of light
house inspectors.
THE debt which a 4ocalist owes a den
tist for false teeth is a false-set-owe.—
Keokuk Cons titution. . ,
STRAWBERRIES come high When the .
bottoms Of boxes are too near the
Nese Orleans Picayune.
MisrmattAxon ought- to 'be a griceful
and reputable young person of the inter
esting female persuasion.
NERO fiddled - while Rome was burning,
and Mrs. Fasset Painted while the Elec
toral Commission was counting.
LOVE may laugh. at locksmiths, bet it
cannot afford to , sneeze at clergy men un
til after the hymeneal knot is tied.
Ar over-anxious inquirer is hereby con
fidentially informed that gum-arabid - does
not grow wild in Montgoinerypeunty,
A ripxony man can eat a square meal
off of a round table—providing that there
are victuals, enoligh placed within his
reach.
Tue. nose may not be a counterfeit - de;
tector, but it can distinguish a bad scent
from a good' one."--Hackensack Republi
can.
You may break, you may shatter, the
limp any night, but you may' be blown
17igher than Clilderoy's kite. Boston
Tranicript.
LIFE let us cherish, thereby displaying
manly* courage, beside makin. , it disa
greeable for th coroner who does not be,
long to our political party.
A ptALt, girl, having been informed by
her too scientific sire that a bat was a
mouse with wings, went into a hardirart3
store and asked for a winged mouse-trap.
WHEN money flies in at the window of
a bachelor or a widower, Love sings the
front-door bell loud and often- 7 -said Love
wearing high-heeled shoes and an eet-skin
dress.
A CLEAR case of color blindness is whe
a green young man gets blue—:not by ru
Ling' himself with indigo, bu t. by swallo
ing large 4o.ses of draughts that stimuli'
and inebriate.
- FASHIONS - change, :.even in• firearms.
The percussion cap is almost obsolete.
This being so, it is not fair to blame tbo
dear women for wanting to change their
hats and boimets.
Oa! the inconsistency I She murmurs
"Love me little, love mo long," then goes
and sues her obedient love for breach of
piomise when, to fulfill her wishes, ho
puts off the wedding-day year after year
in his efforts to lovelier long and a good
deal. -
Tun hostile Zulu doeti not wield a scalp
ing -knife. That is where our Hoops en..
gagdd in campaigns against the Indians
have bulge on the bragging Britishers,
who boast that the African barbarism is
more fitoCious than his copper-colored
American colleague. _
•
EPISODE in High Life :—Lady Kerosine
de Colzr--" I cannot tell you how pleased
I am.to meet you here, Dr. Blenkinsop—
and to go down to didner with you." Dr.
Blenkinsop (an eminent physician, much
pleased)— You Batter me, I am Rare,
Lady Kerosine 1" Lady Kerosine--" Oh,
no It's so nice to sit by' somebody- who
can tell you what to eat, drink, and avoid,
you know !"—Ptineh.
Ons thing cap be said in favor of Si.
mon Cameron : He never laid it to his
nephew.—Chicago Journal. - .
StEns to us it is about time Hist Har
vard College gave George Washington
his LL.D.—Jersey .City Journal. ,
- A VERMONT youth, at his mother's fu
neral,lsaid to his neighbor's : "Me and
father-are much obliged to you all, and
hope soon-to be able to do as much for
you!"--Anieriean PuneA.
Tux Me& Queen business is not apt to
be overdone this year, although the phy
sicians seem to think that the indimtious
are more favorable than usuaL—lioehcs
ttr
HIDDEN .WEAISIL
"-Well Mr llutler, how much"
FUN, rAaT AND EAUETIEr"