Bradford reporter. (Towanda, Pa.) 1844-1884, May 08, 1879, Image 1

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    TAUS OPPVISILICAIIION.
N
II
' The Runupnun EnronTss is published every
Thursday morale( by Goof:Mali t lirrenceen,
at. One Dollar per Imam, to advance.
sir Advertising In all eases exclusive 'of snip
Gcription Co the paper.
SPECIAL NOTlCESlneerted sties cern per
'lino for first Insertion, and rutsclines perline for
- ach subsequna Insertion, but no notice inserted
for less than fifty cents.
. YEARLY ADVERTISEMENTS will be Insert
ed at reasonable rates.
Administrator's and Executor's sett IPt
'AnditoesEntices,f2.6o t Business Cards, flee
Apse year) ft, additional lines gt ofteb. -
Yearly advertisers are entitled to quarterly
changes. Transient advertisement' must be paid
for fa adettecs.
All resolutions elanoelatioue communications
of Ilmltid or individual interest, - and notices of
marriages or deaths, exceeding five Hussars charg
ed rtes C Ultra per line, bat simple notkesof mar.
rtsues and de *tits will be published without charge.
' .ne Tteronrun having a larger circulation than
any other paper In themeaty. makes it the best
advertising medium In Northern l'entirihnitlia.
JOB t RUSTING of every kind. In plain and
',fancy colors. done with neatness and
Handbills, Blanks, Cards, Pamphlets, BB
Statements, fte.. of every vatrlety and style. printed'
at the shortest notice. The Ittronven eines is
well supplied with power presses; a good - wort.
meet of new type..and everything In the printing
tine can be executed In the moat artistic manner
and at the lowest rates. TERMS INVARIABLY
CASH. •
Vusiness §arbs.
RODNEY A. MEROUR,
ATrOUIVET•AT-LAW,
TOWANDA, PA.,
toftleo in Montanyes Mock May 1, .79.
WH. JESSUP,
•
ATT:EY AND COUNBIGLOIIeAT•LAW, ,
MONTROSE. PA. • ••
•
Judge Jessup having resumed the preetleeof the.
Piw In Northern Pennsylvania. will attend to any
1.. gal business Intrusted tohlin lii prettrord county,
Persons wishing to consult him, can call on
ti t meter, Esq., Towanda, Pa., when au appointment
OUI be made.
'HENRY -STREETER,
4770115ZY AND COUIPSELLOII-AT-LAir,
TOWAI'iDA, PA.
Feb 27, '79
JAMES WOOD,
ATTORNZT-AT-LAW,
TOWANDA, PA.
mcb9-713
OVERTON 4k SANDERSON,
ATTotP,ggi-AT-LAw, -
TOI4I,ANDA: PA.
OVEitTON, Sit. JOHN F. sANDwasfixt,
L.
bi
AI I iORNET-AT-LAW,
TOWANDA, PA.
1-1 F. GOFF,
14.
ATTOWSST-At-LAW,
3faln Street (4 doors north of Ward (louse), To
wanda, (April 17., 1877.
Ar
H.
THOMPSON, ATTORNEY
...T
LAW,WYALUSING, PA. Will attend
t , alt bustneis entrusted to its can, In Bradford,
Sullivan and Wyoming . Counties. Waco with . Esq.
Carter.(novl9-74. •
1 , 11. ANGLE, D. D. S.
orERATIVE AND BIECHAI:ICAL DENTIST
()litre on State Street, secoud floor of, Dr. Pratt's
- apr 3 79.
ASON & • HEAD,
111
Arrowart's-Ai-taw,
Towanda, Pa. °tate ever Bartlett At Tracy,ln-at.
sux. (aD*77) it RV! tat HEAD.
F_II,SBERE & SON,
- •
ATV - MN EY s- - AT-LAW,
TOWANDA, PA.
I , ;:C.ELvt:nEE.
t Vb. KINNEY,
kJ •
ArrottNEV-AT-LAW.
. Office—Rooms furinerli , occupied by Y. M. C. A
11.erviltig [jan.3l.lB.
3tcPIIERSON,
ATTOECEV-AT-LAW,
TOWANDA; PA.
Inet Atry Brad. rito.
•
TOWN We SPX,
r
Arroux.rx-Att.LA L Or el4o U. S. •COxuiBBiONYB s
TOWANDA. PA.
ti ince—Non h Side rublie Square.
DAVIES it, CARNOCIIANI,
ATTORNEYS-AT-LAW,
SOIYTI SWF, OF WAED , HOUSE
pee n-75. TOWANDA, PA.
r - ANDREW WILT,
CP •
r Arrounay-AT-LAW.
ogee over Turner & Gordon's Drug Store,
Towanda, l'a t May be consulted In German.
.. - [April 12, IL]
. ,
W.
J. 'I".O I ZJG,
ATTOTeSET-AT-LAW,
TO*ANDA, PA
twire—simnnd door south of the First Nat.oriai
Bt., up stairs.
& ANGLE,
ATTOITNEYB-AT-L AW.
oFFIC E.—Formerly occupied by Wm. Watkins,
(0tt.17,17) I. J. ANOLA.
I=l
WPMAXWELL,
. . .
'ft TTOUNZT-AT-LAW
.! Toy Ali DA, PA.
' 011i,e over Dayton's Store. -
Avril 13, 147 e.
7 % 1 , ADILL t CALIFF,
111.
ATTO it li ET S-AT-LAW,
• • TOW ANtiA, PA.
o%ire In Work's Block, first door soutS of the First
tiaH .!.:11 lank, up-gal:l4.
11' J. MA.011.4.. 11an8.73131
nl;.. S. M. 'WOODBURN, Physi
elan and Sl:rgenu. Office over 0. A. Black's
( ry ^M.•
roW:1 /143. Ma,
i, 167213.
'NV B. KELLY, DENTIST.--OiliCC
I • Dyer .11. E. ttosenflohnt. Towanda, Pa.
r, insert..•ft on tiold. Surer. Rubber, and
Ile 1.3.5 , 3. Tet , th estracted without
P PAYNE, M. P.,
rIITSICIA,N AND Sunogos
(Met 31witany;:;s • Store, Mitre hours fintri 10
A. awl from L' to P. 74. Special attention
t V• 11 to tli•ewtes of the Eye and Ear.-0ct.19.:4141.
Y A N
COITSTY SCVERINTENDILST.
office day ta%t Saturday of earti Month, over Turner
& Gordon's Drug Store, Towanda, Pa.
T4•wan,ta, Juno O. IS7B
Alp,S. H. PEET,
TEACHER OF PIANO
TRIIMS.-410 per term.
(Residence Third streut, lat ward.)
'Towanda, Jan. 13,-79-Iy.
el , S. RUSSELL'S
k,)
GENERAL
INSURANCE AGENCY
TowANDA, PA.
)11)2.,"0tt
FIRST NATIONAL BANK,
TOWANDA, PA
APIT AT. PAID IN
UID'I.US FUND..
Bank otters IIqUAUSIi facilities for the trawl*
action of a general banking business.
.N. N..DETTS, Cad a=
JuS. POWELL, Pres'dent.
EII ANN A COLLEGIATE
• vrixt-ix.. Spring Term will begin MON DAY.
Al. yttl, 7111, Mu. Expenses for board, tuition and
, ruishmt room from 111130 to /188 per year. Fee
rxl:Iloguo or further particulars address the Prin.
EDWIN E. QUIN LAD% P .
; TowatAls, March,-18, 1879. 771
r -
'CZEELEY , S OYSTER BAY AND
1 3 P. CBOPEAN HOBSE.—A few doors scathe!
Straus !)Dune. Board-by the day. Or week on
r , asq:mble'terms. Warm meals screed st all Miura
( q*.t , ers at wholesale and retail. robin%
1 - A IAGLE HOTEL,
(SOCTII awZ )'raut: Kautz.)
TLIs well-known house ham- been thoroughly eire
t,satett'inct tepalred throughout, and the PllTri
1 ,, r tr. rityw pepated to utter find-elan aceornmodae
tioas to the'putille, on the moat reanneble tens&
- Z. A. JENNINGS.
Towanda, ra., May 2, 18711.
lIENRY HOUSE,
(ON TUC EITIIOPZAN PLAN,)
COILNEIt MAIN & WASIIINGTON STILESVI
POWANDJk: PA.
• ,
This liirge, commodious and elegantly-ternlitood
Las just been opened to the tnonellog
/ Pi , prietor spartid neither palm nor ca r rells" ,
1., making his hotel rst-eass 10 all its appoint.
Nehtr and respectfully solicits a share of melte
tatronare. 1111A1.8 AT ALL ROUES. Terms
V 1 suit the titueet,l Large stable attached.
WM- 0 &WRY, PeOlettilol6 .
Towanda, June 7,1:4f.
GOODRICH - 4k HITCHCOCK. Publ!ahem
VOLUME XXXIL
TIE SUOMI MAPLES.
Along the vale and o'er the hill
I see a blue and smoky
.hue
The afternoons are warm sad still,
- And presage longer; wanner dale.
The blue-)ay on the eomac beer.
. Is Ik-relining with discordant note ;
The phcebe-hird arouses now
The longing heart with trembling throat.
The tdUs are peeping through The snow,
And busied fences greet the newt
On hare, brown knolls squaw-berries glow
Or tiny snow Bowers Burnt in Wei. .
The fr6sh, new earth now seinta the pie,
As, rising from her imp:Ochre,
She costa aside her snowy veil,
And greets her train who wait for der;
The gathered odors of the Sowers
That lurk within the roaile's veins,
The golden light..of snizinirr boars, •
The hoarded wealth of summer rains,
The garnered sweetness of the years
Thai pulses through the talghty . trees,
Await a wound to flow It tears -
Sweet is the hoard of shining bees.
Now stands the drowsy team asleep
Before the bncket.laden sleigh,
While sluts the cruel steel full deep
To draw the crystal sap sway.
The steady drip from wooden lip
•Makes music In the soft spring air,
And soon the laden buckets tip
And waste the nectar rich and rare.
AnOn the pungent smultemreaths rlso
Around the kettles• tossing servo;.
Bale youths attend the sacrifice,
And high the flames stlth . faggots urge.
transmutation wondrous sweet
That steals the blood of bare, brown trees,
And In the crackling flames and heat
Ills pewee those goldmi grains to seize
rnovn-711
=I
O vanished Youth 0 balmy days! .
'rho odors rise'ef early flowers,
I see again through smoky hare
The pictures of those fleeting hours;
I bear again the wild halloo
Of boys long silent In the tomb;
The camp-fire brings to clew
Olad faces from the outer gloom.
•
They tell of an eternal spring
Forever bright with springing floweret,
•Where morning Is an endless ring,
Existence knows not passing bouts.
It may be that the flames of strife
Have stored for as mune sweets away,
Or frozen drifts of early lifo,
31sy yield for as a bright& duy. •
L. ELsamm.
It was a cold night In January:
PeOple were hurrying along through
the blinding, snow -storms battling
with the wind that howled and moan
ed out by tarns its story of woe.
Hugh Remington and his friend
Williams. glad to be out of the storm,
had settled •themselves in gown and
slippers fur
. a quiet evening home.
The shutters were closed and the
curtains drawn, and 011 either side of
the hearth was placed the favorite
chair of each. These friends had
liVed together in their bachelor guar.;
tees for lore than two years. Every
thing in the apartment showed re
fined taste ' , and wealth. Some said - _
that it 'all belonged to Hugh, and
that he made it a home for his friend..
No one; however, knew this to be
true. Ilugh was quiet and reserved;
seldom spoke of his affairs to any
one, never laid any special claim to
anything, but "allowed it to appear
that all things were equally shared.
After the evening papers had "been
read and discussed, the two sat talk
ing of days gone by, of little episodes
in their lives. Hugh was in a talking
mood, and bad told several good sto r
ries of his past life ; stopping sud
denly, he exclaimed :
" Did I ever tell -you of my love
fur the widow ?",
I f eb.llB,
Jan. 1, 1875
" No," replied Williams.
have IL"
" Wcll," said Hugh, taking anoth
er cigar, and looking very serious as
he leaned hack in his great easy
chair," I met her in Paris."
Met who ?"
Oh, never mind who. Be con
tentlliat I am telling you the story,
and don't ask for names. I thought
'of her- as 'the widow.' It is a suffi
cient title."
J. N. CALIFF
" Well, I won't interrupt. Go on."
So Hugh continued :
"I was calling upon my old friend ,
Mrs. Lee, and while waiting for the
servant to take her my card, an odd
piece of brit-azbric standing in the
corner of_ the room attracted my at
tention. I got up and went over to
examine it. While thus engaged, the
door opened. I turned, thinking it
was Mrs. Lee, when, oh I what a
beauty met my sight—)3o small that
she looked like a Child, large deep
blue eyes that came out from under
the mass of light golden curls, a
small nose, and a rosebud, of a mouth.
She was dressed in deep mourning,
and I' thought, as I looked at her,
that I had never seen a more beauti
ful- picture.- She didn't see me until
I made a slight movement, Which
startled her. Coming forward, I said . :
" I frightened you, did I not?'
" Yes; I was not aware that there
was any one in the room. You are
waiting for Mrs. Lee ? ' And she
gave me the sweetest of smiles, show
ing a most perfect row of teeth.
"Before I could answer, Mrs. Lee
appeared, and introduced us. Mrs.
--- was making Mts. Lee a short
visit prior to her departure for Amer
ica. I was glad of that, as I should
then have the pleasure of seeing her
again.
" The evening passed only too
quickly, and I rose with an apology
for staying so late. Mrs. Lee invited
me to dine with them informally the
next 'day. She said her friend pre- I
(erred being quiet, so they shoqld be
quite alone. You may be sure that
I accepted the. invitation. and was
there promptly at "the hour. The
widow was more charming than on
the previous evening. - I longed; to
stop the hours from rolling on. tray
' ing been in the habit oT dropping
at Mrs. Lee's at all hours, my frequent
—almost daily—visits were. not no
ticed as anything strange or unusual.
Mrs. Lee thanked me for coming to
them in their lonelinesa; and the
widow would give me one of her
sweet. smiles, and I was-thankful in
my inmost heart that they were lone
ly, and that it fell to my lot to cheer
them. So the weeks passed, until the
time came for the departure of Mrs.
Lee's friend. "
"Now I had intended passing a
month- or two in England before
coming home, but when I found,that
the widow was to return in ten days/
.1 $123.000
so,opo
Feb. 14. Is 7
Pesky.
*hyled gale.
Ten Days in Love.
1w
I began-to think that my duty called
me back to my business. The more
I thought of it, the more important
it seemed to me tolo.
" 'Do you know of any one going
On the 15th Y' the widow asked me,
one evening, in her dove-likl way.
"' No one but myself,' I answered.
Business has called me sooner than
I expected'
"'Now delightful l' from the wid
ow; while Mrs. Lee exclaimed, 'Oh,
Mr. - Remington, I am so glad 1 I
couldn't bear the idea of my friend
going entirely alone, and you of all
Otheis will know best how to take
care of her.'
"We then began to make our
plans.l Mrs. intended making a
visit of a few days to some friends
in London. , I was going direct to
Liverpool. Mrs. Lee and I drove
down to see out - friend off, and.
looked forward to the pleasure of
meeting her on the steamer. My last
days in Paris were spent in saying
'good-bye' to old friends, and buy
ing piesents for sister Nell. and the
children. I got every nonveaute that
I could find, and felt well pleased
with my sel4ction. At last I on
the steamers and stood looking at the
ship move away. By my side was
the widow, and I thought that I bad
never seen her look so lovely. I ex
ulted in the knowledge that she
knew. no one on board. I was her
only friend, consequently I should
have her all to myself; this was (s
I said to myself) what I bad for
weeks been longing for. - Was 1 in
love ? That question had not cc-
eurred to me. I felt supremely hap
py, and thought the situation delight
ful. I was ready to do anything for
this fair creature. She had only to
command; I was all cagern6s to,
obey. I soon had opportunities of
showing my devotion.
" The following morning I came
out on deck very early, and was sur
'prised to find my little lady already
there. She looked very miserable
and very pretty.. The morning salu
tations over, I asked her .how she
had slept.
" I havn't slept at all,' she said,
in a fretful, childish way, which
thought Such a noise all
night,' she continued, ' I pull not
get to sleep; and the smells are sim
ply dreadful. I must have another
room. I'd rather sit up here all night
than sleep in that horrid place again.
Don't you think, Mr.. Remington, if
you asked the - captain or somebody,
he would give me another stateroom?'
and her big eyes-looked inquiringly
into mine.
"'Certainly,' I said. ' I will go at
once and see about it; and if there is
no other, you shall change with me.
Take my room, which is u good one,
and as I don't mind either noise or
smells, your moth will `suit me well
enough,' "
Here Hugh leaned over his chair
to knock the ashes off his cigar, and
said to his friend : " I must 'ave had
it pretty bad—eh, Williaths ?—to
have said that, for you knOw I 'can't
endure either a bad odor or a loud
noise. But I forgot everything when
under the influence of those eyes,
and when she exclaimed, • Oh, no; I .
couldn't let nu do that,' Licit that
my fate was waled, and that l should
take the noise and the smells. _
" The next thing I discovered Was
that my lady had no sea chair. There
was only one left, and that had been
spoken for; but I paid double the
amount, and the chair was mine. .
"" You are so kind, Mr. Reming•
ton,' she _said. 'I don't know what
I should have done without you. I
am not fit to travel alone,' She added,
in childish tones.
" Let's
" The third day out the weather
became bitterly Old.
" lam almost frozen,' said Mrs.
What shall I do? I have
nothing to -wrap around me, and I
shall have . to stay below, and, oh
dear! it is so uncomfortable there l'
The face turned up to mine was that
of a spoiled' child.
"low, I . had a fine English rug,
:which, I had used at night, for: y(;4,
know everything at sea is so horribly
damp. -It had. been - a great comfort
to me, and I knew that I should miss
it. But what of that? I couldn't
seethe woman I loved suffer. So I.
gOt. it, and tucked her all up in it.
Her delicious smile repaid me for the
sacrifice.
" 'Oh, how nice!' she said, as - she
put her hands under the warm rug.
It smalls to me, Mr. Remington,
that you have'everything to make
-one comfortable. I never heard of
such a man. I am. so glad that I
Came under your care!'
I " 1 was so love stricken' that' I did
not reflect upon her apparent up-a-al
-1 sciousness of the fact that 1 had de
.prived myself of these comforts in
order that she should be made com
fortable. She seemed to take it for
granted that I was-a sort of traveling
missionary, with extra wtaps, state .
rooms, chairs, and anything else that
one might need;_ and I was such a
slave to her fascinations that bad she
asked me to do the impossible,
should . , have attempted it.
" Every day I had it upon my lips
- to tell - her of my love. Each day
courage forsook me. We walked the
deck day after day. She put her soft
hand : on my arm in the most coat&
.ing way, looked up from under her
curls, laugh her low, sweet laugh,
and asked the most innocent, childish
questions.
" We -were walking this way on the
sixth day out. I had carefully re
hearsed my part, and was about to
tell my story. • ller conversation
seemed to.lead to it, for she said:
"'You will come to .see me when
you are. in New York, won't you, Mr.
Remington ?' "
'Nothing," I said, ' would give
me greater pleasure.'
" You will come often ? Promise
to dine at our house- once a week.
. You won't forget Ile?' and the blue
-eyeasoug,ht mine.
. .
"I looked into them, and my look'
told what my tongue had refused AO
- say. I pressed the little hand close
to - my, heart, and - after a pause said,
below my breath, Forget-you P and
I was about to pour forth my love
wliett..she gave a little ':scream, and
cried, 'Oh, my -veil!' There, sure
enough, was the confounded . blue
thing sailing before the-wind, and all
the passengers, it seemed to .me after
t. , •( i ~
TOWANDA, BRADFORD COUNTY, PA., THURSDAY MORNING, , MAY 8, 1879.
' Of course I had to go, too,,and
make believe try to capture it. I
never hated anything so much as I
did that yard of blue gauze. I couldn't
go back and continue my story from
where it was so suddenly broken off,
and indeed the. widow seemed quite
shy of .me.
" The ineident had givemthe pas
sengers an opportunity to speak to
her„ . and when I joined her (without
the veil, for it had, I hoped; struck
bottom), she was surrounded by a
group of pedple. I had no chance
that day, nor the next, to get her to
myself. I tried to think of something
that I could - do or show her that
would amuse or detain her. It
seemed as though I had exhausted
all my resources, when at last a brill-
ant idea occurred to me. I would
show her the presents I had brought
for sister Nell. They were all in my
little sea trunk, and I knew that She
couldn't resist their attractions. She
came on deck bright and beautitAaa
ever.
" Isn't it delightful,' she said, 'to
think that to-morrow we shall be at
h9me? - I can hardly wait for the,
time to come; and yet '—and her
voice dropped into the dearly loved
soft tone—' the voyage has been a
most charming one, owing to your
kindness,' she added, brightly. .
" I longed to launch fOrth my tale
of love, but thinking it more prudent
towait until I had secured her whol
ly to myself, I asked her in the . most
ordinary manner, if she wouldn't en
joy looking at some little trinkets
that I picked up in Paris. ller
eyes sparkled.
" Yes, indeed,' she - said. Noth
could be more delightful than - to
a glimpse of Paris while at sea.'
tug
get
_
. " I went below and •got all my
pretty noureautee, and brought them
up. to her. - Pinang a chair in a quiet
corneri and well hid from the other
pCOple, then drawing mine up beside
her, I began showing one by one my
collection - of odd things.
" ' Where did you get them, Mr.
Remington ? I hunted all over Pziris,.
and , found nothing half ,so pretty.
What exquisite pill* bonheurs P and
she" slipped one atierlinother of 'my
carefully-chosen bracelets on• to her
little plump wrists, and turned them
first. on one side and then on the
other.
" I knew Nell's taste, and had
searched for something uncommon,
and was well pleased with what I had
bought. But Nell and' everything
were forgotten with thii bewitching
creature by my'side; and when she
made a mover to take them or, I said,
laughingly, of c ourse, ' Oh, don't die,
turb them ; they look so well where
they are, an& it is - so pleasant,- you
know, told a glimpse of Paris while:
at sea.
" She.kept them on, and I opened
the other boxes. Therewere rings,
crosses, medallions, chatelaines, and
many other ornaments of curious de
sign. The widow decked herself, and
was in high-glee.. A child could not
have enjoyed it more. 1 watched her
with loving eyes, told her where each
One came from, and helped fasten
the on.
"' I feel like an Indian princess,'
she said, 'and ought to have a throne
and a crowd of kneeling courtiers,
and the picture would be complete.'
" ' Can't.you imagine a throne ?' I
said, 'and take me for kneeling cour
tiers. Wouldn't my love compensate
for the admiring crowd?'
" She looked up quickly, and was
about to answer, when one of- the
eternal old bores that, no matter
when you , cross, arc always to be
found on'shipboard, came_ pp, and
began telling of his early reminiscen
ces; whdt the sea was twenty -years
ago—as though the sea bad ever
chahgetl=and how, when he had first
crossed, his friends never expected ,to
see him again. He had made his will,
and they parted as though he were
to be forever lost to I assure
you that I silently wished in my herit
that be had 'never turned up again.
Without saying a word, I got up,
took my boxes, and left my Indian
princess. I was thoroughly angry
with the old fellow for interrupting
our tele-a-fele, and seriously annoyed
with Mrs. --- for listening to and
answering hini. I made up my mind
that that game had been played long
enough. I would ask her the simple
question the first chance I got, and
know my fate at once. But 'the
chance did not come as soon as I ei
pected it would,
" She went to her room with a s'ek
headache, so she said, and I paced
the deck alone. We were a long way
up the harbor when she made her ap
pearance (lie ! f ollowing morning. She
said that she had hurried with her
packing, thinking that we were near
er than we really were to the city.
". Oh, Mr. Remington, I had no
opportunity of returning your jewel
ry, anti so I packed them_ with my
things. But you are coming, you
know, to dine with rue on Saturday,
and I will then give them to you.' *,
" 4 Certainly,' I said._ There is no
time for us to change them now.
Wear them until I see you again.
" I had fully made
. up my mind
that as I had been bMtled so often, '1
would now wait until I had seen her
in her own home before I opened my
hea - it to her, or rather before 1 asked
her my fate. She already knew my
heart. • There,was no time to talk ;
all was excitement; we were rapidly
Approaching; handkerchiefs were
waving from the docks. The widow
was straining her eyes, and suddenly
leaving me and going further for
ward, t 1
saw her throw a kiss. How
1 longed to catch it! I looked with
jealous eye to see who would take it
up and answer it. Foremost., among
the crowd Wasa great, big man—six
feet, and broad in proportion. It was
he who was returning her , kisses.
Could it be her brother, or was it
friend, and this merely a 'pleasant
greeting from a distance?
"1 .watched him come on board,
and what .did the big, idiot do but
catch her up in his qtrms—my sweet
one, whom, though -loving, I bad
never dared to touch—and kiss her
over and over again! I could have
knocked him down. - - .
"On drawing near to them, I saw
that neither of them noticed me. She
bad forgotten my exibtence. With a
heart-sick feeling I turned; away.
Was this to be the end ? Why, had
REGARDLESS DMITIONATION PROM ANY QUABTINt.
I come home ? I could hear them
talking, though too miserable to lis
ten. They came nearer,and the same
soft voice that I loved so dearly said,
6 Mr. Remington, I have been talking
about. you, telling how good and
kind you bane been, and bow utterly
forlorn I should have been had you
not always looked out for my com
fort. I have come to thank you, and
my husband wants to thank you, too.'
" Her. husband! Great heavens . !
And I thought she was a widow, and
bad made love to her! I listened as
though in a dream, and a deuced un
pleasant one it was, too.. I. believe
he thanked me, and she praised, and
he thanked again, and then they
urged 'me to come to see them, and
she said, 'Don't forget Saturday.'
Whether I said anything, or re
mained mute, is more than I can tell.
I. was like a man asleep, and bad to
give myself a good shake to come out
of the nightmare that I was in. When
I looked around, ehe--they--were
gone." _ -
Here Hugh stopped as thongh be
had finished ;' but his friend Will
iams, whose curiosity had i been
aroused, asked :
"Did you dine with her on Satur
day ?"
NO. I sent a regret."
"Have you ever seen her since ?"
'-No, never."
"What became of your nouveau:ea
de Paris?"
"Nell went without them, as I
went without iny'English robe."
" Yon don't mean that she never
sent them_to you ?"
" I never gave her my address, and
she was not supposed to kfiow where
I was." • .
Williams didn't like to ask any
more - questions, and Hugh remained
quiet for a time. Then, rousing him
self and getting out of his chair, he
said :
" I have never made love since,
and "—with a bitter laugh—" I al
ways avoid women in deep mourning .
And now as the tire has gone out
with my story, I think we had better
go to bed."
R$ A GOOD, DEED.
month or two ago a young girl
in Moston, the daughter of one of the
richest men there, being_ abotit to
marry, asked her father to let her
weddinff be as quiet and inexpensive
as possible, and to give her the mo
ney which would have been spent in
flowers, wine, etc. With the sum, he
gave her, she give a certain aunt to
the poor of eackcity which she visit
ed on her journey. She had the bles
sings of the hungry and naked strew
ed along her path instead of roses.
The story without the names, lerept
into the newspapers. Recently, the
wedding of one of the' great capital
ists in this city, says a Boston pater,
was marked by as touching and beau
tiful an incident. One of the gifts
to the bride was the sending of 103
orphan boys•to homes in the West.
kgood deed is not'so much like a
candle, throwing its beams upon the
night as a beacon which is no sooner
kindled than t it lights an hundred
others in the distance.
ouf people are learning each year,
not only to appreciate - better the es- .
.thetic side of charity, but to. indulge
their esthetic and emotional tastes in
a practical • way, helpful to others.
Instead of- stained windows in
churches, to the memory. of .those
that are gone; we see memorial beds
in children's hopitals. In spite of
the hard times, too, the amount given '
as shown by the reports of churches,
asylums, etc.,'has not decreased half
as much in this country, during the
last two years, as the amount spent
•on individual lnxury. We know of
no finer indication of the integrity
and- genuine right-feeling of the
American people than that: See how
heartily and promptly, too, they..
seize on any hint 'of how to help . the
poor aic! unlucky Five years ago,
thousands of children
. died in the -
tenement houses and cellars in New
York and Philadelphia, during the
hot season, for the lack of a breath
of fresh air. Some good soul thought
of free excursions, and the. kindly
idea spread like wild-fire, from city
to city all over the country. Some
other ,friendly soul conceived the
idea of cheap summer hospitals
.by
the sea shore, and it has. enlarged
now into a dozen . sanitariums board
ing houses at . cost, etc. •
WAITING AND A-WAITING
Detroit ?toe rem.
Bro. Gardner's address td the
Lime-Kiln Club of Detroit is practi
cal. " Gem'en," said Brother Gard
ner, as Waydown Beebe finished
breaking out a pane of glatss with his
elbow, "it has pained me to obseive
on various occasions dat de' cull'd
populashnn of dis kentry am on de
wait. Dey am given to sittin' down
in de house or on de fence an' waitin'
for do good time comin'. I war ober
to see de ole man Penny las' night.
Ile' ar' on de wait. lie's bin waitin'
for de last fifty y'ais, an' de good
time hain't , got 'long yit. I found
him wid de raggest sort o' clothes on
ye eber seed, pockets empty, wood
gone an' fionr out, an' de way be
looked up at me as I walked in was
'null - to bring on a chill. • All de od
der folks aroun' him had work an'
plenty to eat, but de ole man was
waitin' fur somebody to com' 'long
an' take him out to hunt a job' in a .
keeridge' an' pay him fo' dollars a
day. He ain't the only man 'round
heah who - am waitin, 'stead of gwine
out an' lookin' for work. I tell you
-dis big world doan' car' a copper
wedder si men starve to death' or
not. De world owes nobody nuMn.
De man 'spects to _git 'long )Im l bey
snnthin to eat an' a place to live hez
got to bounce aroun' an' let de world
understan' dat he's on de git If any
well man, no matter what de culler,
walks dis town' wed an empty stom
ach, it am his own - fault, an' I hain't
gwino to fill it fur him. Now let do
purceedin's pnrceed."
CINCINNATI sgatirda) Night : An Irish
man who couldn't get his money, deposit
ed high in the church, was asked why he
didn't appeal to the See. " The Say? So
I would, ' Pat, with a twinkle in
Ids eye, "if it was in the Cash-payin%
- ,'~
,`~
NE
DECORATION DAT.
The whiter storms of blooming spring
Mee way, as clouds of battles 07
Before the soft whole tsnalog wing.
• And Iwo to suaahloe all the sky.
So In the dark and wintry Past
The storms of war rose Wild and vast,
In clouds of ever-widening girth— •
Clouds not of heaven, but of earth—
Pelting the scenes whose only tight .
Was Heroism's lustre-whits.
As now not many days ago
Winters one slog was the tutow.
What host Is this again caned forth t
Peace roles alike o'er South and North ;
Yet sprung to being la • dat,
All weapoood as to guard a tiny,
Wreath-laden as to welcome Spring,
•
Behold Its legions on their Way—
ne ran a front of battle loweri; • -
Its rearguard children armed with llorer
To yonder tents, so green, so deep.,
Where nerer tread of sentinel,
Or dram beat, tweaks the ioldlers sleep—
Tor watchful thousands guard them well.
In bays like tholes no venom lurks;
•
/inch laurels noble lives renew;
Redeemed and victors crowned shalt they
In wider spheris, by holler works,
Grow brighter to the perfect day :
For patriot souls so brave and true ;.
In every land so nobly few,
Relieve it, God has more to do.
But see, where o'er you camp of graves,
!bore each the starry banner waves I
From each the sangnlned stripes are gam—
ily sunshine bleached and rainy flood ; •
So from our memories; while we mourn,
Our tears should bleach the trace of blood.
The battles of our dead are dcae ;
To them what sacred rite so sweet
As that while they to heaven are one •
. 'We at their:graves as brothers meet
Oh, South ! ob, North! their longings crown ;
Let no mote suns on wrath go down !
Like father.; whose long feud'is.done,
glace each has lost his champion sop,
Give to guar pent-up tears relief.-
Together mourn this spirit tied
And pitying each the others grief,
Beside their graves, with drooping head,
At last cum hands above your dead. .
PUT ME DOWN.
*" Put me down," he said, as the of
led him in holding him by either
arm. " Put me down as Lord Drum
Dreary, and be hanged to you."
.They put. him down in black and
white and then put him in a cell.
When he had sobered off a bit he,
earnestly inquired if there was_a Son
of Malta about the place and was re
commended to Dijah. When the old
janitor came in the prisoner uttered
three distinct\ coughs, and
_drew
down his right eye.
"What's the muter with you?"
growled the old *to], who never saw
a Son of Malta he knows of.
The prisoner then whispered in a
peculiar manner, pinched his right.
ear, and whispered: "The valley
dark—give me a light."
"I'll give you a douse of cold wa
ter if you don't stop fooling around 1"
roared Bijah. -
" Are you not a brother ?"
":Not by a-dozen jugs full."
"And you will not respond to a
cry of distress from a Son of Malta ?"
" Not any ! All I know about 'em
is that one of 'em once raided ray
hen' coop and I took a solemn oath
to be revenged. If his honor lets
you off I'll be around the corner to
embrace you."
Alt night lon g the prisoner was
calling out to th e brothers who heard
him not, and when trial came he tried a
new dodge. After coming before
the bar, and indulging in unbounded
astonishment at the sight of the
court, he cried out:
"What! do I see befOre me the
friend of my boyhood days ?"
"I wouldn't see him if I were you,"
quietly 'responded His Honor.
"Why, we used to play together—
slid down -the same hill, bathed in
the *sine millpond and went to the
saint school."
"I can't help that MT. Dum Drea
ry, at that time you were innocent
and high-m;nded ; now you are a law.
breaker and on your way hence."
-"Didn't I divide my apples with
you?" And didn't I let yon.beat
me playing marbles ?"
"I don't remember; All I know
is you are going up for thirty- days."
"flow can the human mind be
come so debased?" gasped the man,
as he limped into the corridor, and
Bijah - replied 'that he didn't know,
but would look in the city directory
and see.
QiIANOES IN' LlFT...Challge is a
common feature of society—of life.
Te,n years convert the population
of schools into men and women, the
young • into fathers and matrons,
make and mar fortunes, and bury the
last generation but one. -
'Twenty years convert infants into
lovers, fathers and mothers, decide
men's fortunes and distinctions, con
vert men and women into crawlitig
drivers, and bury ail preceding gen
erations.
Thirty years raise an active gener
ation from nonentity, change fascina
ting beauties into bearable old wo-
Men, convert lovers into gnindfath
ers, and bury the active generations
or reduce them to'decrepitude or im
becility.
Forty years, alas I change the face
of all society. infants are growing
old, the bloom of youth and beauty
has passed away, two active genera
tions have been swept from the stage
of - life, names onceseherished are for
gotten, unsuspected candidates for
fame have started up from the ex
haustless womb of Nature.
And in fifty years—mature, ripe fif;
ty years—half a century—what tre
mendous changes occur! low Time
writes her sublime wrinkles every
where—in rock, river, forest, cities,
hamlets, and villages, in the nature
of men,. and the destinies and aspects
Of all civilized society!
Let us pass on to eighty years—
and what do we desire to see to com
fort us in the world ? Our parents
are gone; our. children• have passed
away from us into all parts of the
world, to fight the grim and deeper
ate buttle of life. Our old friends—
wheie are they? We behold a world
—a world of which we know nothing, ,
and to which we are unknown. We
weep for generations long - gene by
for lovers for paretts, for children,.
for frrnditi in the grin.. We see ev
erytiung turned upside down by the
fickle hand of Fortune, and the abso
lute destiny of Time. In a word, we
behold the- vanity of life,' and are
quite ready to lay down the poor
burden and be gone.
I
1 i
.......-. - ...... .... •._ • - . -.-
.........•:_., _... ...„.••.... ....._ ._ r...
......
... 7 ......., ......,.
:....
._....,....1 ::
A STOW/ orTaz LAT!. VAS.'.
As Confederate war reminiscences
are in order, here is one too good to
be buried:' The hero of the joke was
one Jim. lie was attached to Ros
ser's cavalry, in Stuart's command.
Jim was noted for his strong antipa
thy to shot and shell,. and a peculiar
way he had of avoiding to close coM-
Munion with the same But at last
all his plans failed, to keep him out,
and he, with his companion, under a
lieutenant, was detailed"to *support a
battery that composed a portion ' t of
the rear guard. The, enemy kept
pressing so close, in fact, as to en
danger the retreating forces. and the
troops covering the retreat had orders
to keep the enemy in check a given
period at all hazards, and the order
mai obeyed to the letter under a gall-
log fire. Jim grew desperate. He
stuck behind trees that appeared to
his excited vision no larger than
ramrods. Re then tried to lie down.
In fact he placed himself in every
position that his genius could invent,
but the bias of the •bullet haunted
him still. At last„- in despair. he
called to the commanding officer:
" Lieutenant, let's fall back I"
"I cannot do it, Jim."
" Well, dearned if we don't
get cleaned out if we stay here 1"
" My orders, Jim, are to hold this
place and support the battery" of
guns If we fall back, the enemy
will rush• in and capture the guns.
Just at this moment a welklirected:
bullet impressed . Jim with the fact
that a change of bare was necessary,
Jim found another apparently pro '
tected spot, and as soon as he recov
ered his mind, he sang out :
" Say, lieutenant! what do you
think them ere cannons cost?"
" II suppose about a thousand do
Tats, Jim.
"Well," said Jim, "let's take up
a collection and pay for the guns,
and let the d—d Yankees have
them!"
'-.FOB BETEE3, OR WORSE.
Detroit Free Press.
The old man Beridig,o keeps a pret-,
ty sharp eye on hiß daughter Mary,
and many a would-be lover lias taken
a walk after a few 'minutes .convesa-
Lion with the hard-hearted parent.
The old chap is struck this time, how
ever, and cards are out for a wedding.
After the lucky young man had been
sparking Mary for six months the old,
gentleman stepped in as usual,, re - -
quested a private confab, and led off
with:
" You seem like a nice young, man,
nda perhaps you are in - love with
Mary?"
"Yes I am," was the . honest re-
PY' •••
"Haven't said any thing to her
yet, have you?"
" Well, no ti but I think she recip
rocates my atteetion."
"Does eh? Well, let me tell you
something. Iler mother died a lung-
tic, and there's no • doubt that Mary
has inherited her insanity."
"I'm willing to take the chances,"
replied the lover.
"Yes, but you. See Mary has a ten n
rible temper. She has twice drawn
a knife - on me with intent. to commit
murder. •
"I'm used to that—got a sister
just like her," was the answer.
"And you should know that I
have sworn a solmen oath not to
give Mary a cent of my property,"
continued the father.
" Well, I'd rather start in poor and
build up. There's, more, romance in
it."
The old man had one more shot in
his carbine, and he said :
" Perhaps I might. to tell you that-
Mary's mother ran away from illy
home with- a butcher, and that all
her relatives died in the poor
house. These things might be thrown
up in after years, and I now warn
you."
"Mr. Bendigo," replied the lover
" I've hearl of ally this - before and
also that you were on trial for for
geiy, had to jump Chicago for big
amy, and serve a year in state pri
son for cattle-stealing. I'm going to
marry into yourfamily to give you a
decent reputation ! There—no thanks
—good by !"
" Mr. • Bendigo looked after the
young man with his mouth wide
open, and When he could get his jaws
together he said :
"Some infernal hyena has went
and given me away on my dodge.
When we left St. Louis, says Bur
dette, five young men,climoed into
the "varnished cars" who had been
having a good time. 'They all tried
to sit in one seat," and WhenVthe con
ductor scattered them they wept.
One of the young men, whose collar
was clinging desperately to one but;
ton, told me the other four young
men were his friends, and they "would
seelim through," and further, that
in every possible, however improtia
-ble,vontingency,,they, would "stand
by him." It seemed to me, however,,
that if he couldn't stand in one place
better than hawas doing just then,
his friends would have to move with
.the speed and eccentricity of so many.
comets stand anywhere in the im7
mediate vicinity of him.
Presently another - young man
lurched up t 6 my seat, and in very
husky tones assured me that those
four young men weie his friends, and
whoever tried to ride over them
would have to fight him'. I looked
at' the four swaying. and • restless
bodies of the youug men, and could ,
imagine bow it.would puzzle , a man
with sixty-fourtlegs to run over all
of them at once.
And yet a third young man came
and_tried to sit down in my lap, or
on the ceiling of the car. it was hard
to tell which objective point he•was
aiming to reach, and told me he
would die for any or all of the, other
rocir young men. I was greatly .af
fected by this display of friendship,
and when the fourth young man came
to me and assured me• that. he re
.garded all the other young men as
his brothers and sisters, I was too
deeply moved to speak. The last of
the happy five tried to corne and tell
.TOO HOT TOE 111IL's\
Nifej:te l t,i)llll:
•1.00 per Annum In Advance.
me.of his affectionate regard for his
friends, but he was unable:to get up
from his seat. •
In about ten minutes after the last
of my new acquaintances left. me,
'there Was a great uprbar in the car.
Ilooked, and three of the five friends
were lustily pounding the other two.
Then \ the scene changed, and another
combination of four mauled the other
one. And so they were bounced off
the car, and the last we saw of them,
out on the 'prairie, four of them were
standing on one, fighting each other.
Friendship is lovely thing while it
lasts. ,
FIND OUT;
SPECIMENS OF SHORT SPEECHES AND
COURT CORRESPO!iD
New Turk Times.
. The King of Zulu-land is 'said-to
have recently addressed a note to a
British officer- in South Africa ..as
follows: "Excellency—First came
the missionary; nextii the Consul
now the Army. CEriwavo." This
brief letter recalls some short
speeches and court correspondence,
which will doubtless be delightful
reading in these times of long haf
angues at Albany and Washington.
A western Judge
.once upon a time
addressed the Grand Jury in these
words: "Mentlenien; The weather
is extremely hot; . I am very old ;
you know your duty—perform it."
Another American - Judge once in
tervened in an odd way to prevent
a waste of words. He was sitting
- in Chambers, and seeing from the
pile of papers in lawyers' bands that
a. certain ease was likely ,to be a
long one, he asked, ,-" What is the
amount in question ?" "Two poi.
lams your Honoi," said the plaintiff's
coutsel. "I'lll pay it," said the
Judge, banding over the money ;
"call the next case.". An English
Judge was more patient. He listen
ed a couple of days to the arguments
of counsel ad , to the construction of
thi act, and finally observed, when
they were done: "Br•others that act
was repealed . years ago.' One,
morning a women was shown into
Dr. Abernethy'a - room. . Before he
could speak she bared her arm ray
ing, "Burn." "A poultice," said
the doctor. Next day she called
again, showed her arm, :and said :
Better." "Continue the poultice,"
the response. A few days afterward
she came again • then' she said:,
" Well., Your . fee ?" ."Nothing,"i
said the great physician ;•"-you- are
the most sensible women I ever'
saw." Lord Berkley, wishing to ap
prise the Duke of Dorset of his :
changed condition, wrote : "Dear
Dorset: I have just. been married
and am the happiest dog alive
BERKELEY." The answer came :
" Dear BERKELEY': Every dog. has
his day. DORSET." The editor of a
Chicago newspaper wanting the de
tails of a terrible inundation in Con
necticut, telegraphed to. a correspon
dent at Hartford: " Send full par
ticulars of the flood." The reply
carne quickly : "-You will find them
-•
in-Genesis."?:J
. SOMETHING SAVED FROM THE
WRECK —The scene Was in Portland,
se.; the characters, a rising youn g
merchant and a pretty woman. .Ile
had an affection for her, she a liking
for him , so they became betrothed.
After a time she found out that she
didn't love him well enough to marry
him, and the match was broken off.
It was a severe blow, and he stag
gered under it;. but he fought well
for himself, protested that his life
was ruined, asked if she could not
learn to love him, and in all ways did
the proper thing. She was immova
ble, however, an he sadly and reluc
tantly took his leave. While his eyes
were full of gathering - tears he bade
-his faltering farewells, then closed
the door upon his hopes.. A moment
later he opened it, stepped back into
the room, and, with tears in. his voice,
brokenly murmured, " I hope this
will mike no difference about, your
coming, to the store, Mist ---"; and
that your. mothers will continue to
trade with uS. I 'shall be happy to
give the usual dis Count. • Our stock
is large and - varied; our atm to
:please." And the door shut finally;
leaving him alone with his grief.
PEW people who see bananas hang
ing in fruit dealers' shops • think of
them as more than a tropical luxury.
In fact, they area staple article of food
in some parts of the world; and, -ac
cording to Humboldt, an acre of ba
nanas Will produce as wick food for
a man as twenty-five acres of wheat.
It is the ease with which bananas are
grown that is the ()Wade to eiviliza
don in some tropical countries. It
ie so easy
,to get - a living without
work that no effort will be made and
the men become lazy and shiftless.
All that is needed is to stick- a cut
ting into the ground. It will ripen
its fruits in twelve or thirteen
months without further care, each
plant having - from seventy-five to
one hundred and twenty-five banan
as hand when that dies downy ,after
fruiting, new shoots spring up and
take its place. •In , regions where
frosts never reach, bananas are found
in all stages of growth, ripening their
fruit every month in the year.
" OFP DUTY, SAU Goon."—
.14fajor Joseph Dun bar, of Newport,
Perry County, was made an assistant
doorkeeper of the House by Con
gressman Stenger two-- years ago.
When Congress assembled on the
18th, Joseph was noticed at his post
by a Republican member who was
accustomed to pass in :end out by the
door he guarded. The nest day the
Congressman did not see Joe stand
ing guard at.his old post, but in his
stead was a man . With long hair and
mustache, broad-brimmed hat and
butternut coat, cracked boots and
dirty. finger nailsvery mark of the
typical Southerner. " Where's Dun
bar ?" naked . the Congressman. "Of
duty, Bah, fob good • Pennsylvania
has enough offices. • *e 'ens who do
the work want the offices. I'm from
Sore Carolina, sah." And the Con
gressman was satisfied.
Many of the imported dresses Lavo
small panient.•
NUMBER 49
Miss-employed : A young lady at work.
A utitenasT who restson his °wars- is ,
in bad huiiness.—Picayu • •.
Is a lady's hair some ing to st-doni
when it is banged ?—Chico po Tribune.
- A LOST tart--The !one that was left
alone with the small. bo3r. Inter-Ocean.
Wtizx you have a family ar you can't
always preserve the peace. Boston Trav
eller.
TnEuv.'s music in the beiri
Jones his a brand-new baby
--Boston Traascripi.
IT hi the trade dolor that
get rid of now more than the
—Chicago Advertiser.
The dairymaid pensively mlike
And pouting, she paused to en
"I wish, you brute, you would t
And the animal turned tohu
A LITTLit Mihiankee lad
pint of red paiht while his
eras turned. So much for
coration fever.--:A/bany Jou
\ "JANE," said he, think
your feet, away from-the fl
have some heat in the room.'
hadn't \ been married two ye
Pilo ENT Minister—"l
that I hive procured an ala
will wake up the congregati
the services are over."—Chic
It is always the fair thin
And Stalest men have
That the way to treat a el
111 to give it proper ered
Chi
TnEnu-Was a burA,of very
applausii in the senior rec
when one of them translated I
nulluiv home, a single. gentl
man.
EMI
NONNI AND MAWR&
.
Down the little drops patter,
Makin a mosteal clatter, - -
Cut or the clouds they throng
Freshness ot hseridt they scatter
tattle auk nudists maw.
"Coating to visit you, Pastes t
Open your hearts to ne, Role* t"
That Is the , raindrops. song.
Up the little seed Ate* ;
Buds of all coleridod AIM
Clentber sp out of the ground.
Gently the blue sky marina
The earth , with that soft-rushing south; •
"Welcome r•-+the brown bees are hueeniiii,
"Ceiba Las we wilt for - yos =lns t"
Whisper the wild, dowers at •
• •
dhorier, it is pleasant to bear you r— -
"Flowers, It Is sweet to bo :scar you re , - ,
Thli is the songgrerywisere. •
Listen the music will cheer you I
Raindrop and blossom so fair
Gladly are meeting together,
'Out in the beautifel weather:— • •
Oh, the sweet song In the air l
FAA, FAOl' AND rAOLTIE:
A.'ntrEP made a bit the o her in 7.?
the Tit:it:ribs Police Court, whe . confronted
with the jewelry ho 'had stol.n, 'by say.
lug : "I never saw the Final. ? -
ern Express. \
- Oim-itAIP the.world - don It know how
the other half live 1" exclaimed a *gossip.
ping woman'. "Oh, well !" said her neigh- -
'l' don't worry about it, 'tisn't your , . fault \ •
if they don't."
"You are nothing but a damagogue;"
said a tipsy fellow - to Tom Marshall, who, •
promptly paid him back "Put a wisp of
straw around 3 ou, ant' you will be nothing
but a demijohn:"
.
The Danbury News has ascertained
that Paris-green does not exactly kill, the
potato bugs, but it so seriously impaired •
their intellect that they haVe - gone to eat
ing Canada thistles..
Ax English writer says, in his advice'
to young married women, that their moth-
er Eve married a gardener, and in conse-
(voice of the match ,, lost eis situation.--
Cosiniersial Adrertiser.
- Ax old aridgo told a young lawyer that
be would do well to pick some of the.
feathers from the wings. of his .imagcna,.
tion and stick them into the tail of his
judgment.—Christian at. Work.. _
ERVINE passing a fashionable church,
on which a spire was being °meted, - was
asked how much higher it. was to be.
Not much ; that congregation don't own
very far in that direction."—Tribune.
AN aristocrat, whose family. bad rather
run down, boasting to a prosperous trades.,
man of his ancestors, raid: "You are
proud of your descent. lam on the op:
posite tack, and feel proud of my ascent."
SPRIGHTLY Young Lady :. . ' lam afraid
I have a very large foot.' Polite Shop-.
nian : "Large, miss t 0 dear, no, miss
We have lots of gent—that is, customers
—with much larger, miss."—lnter-Ocean.
Iris easier for a camel to pass through
the eye of a needle than it is for a- young
woman in .a furbned silk cloak to walk
along without letting it flap open just a
little, to show:that the fur is more than
'mere border.
WREN' the mitten is presented by a
younglady, the color is-generally blue.--
New Fork Commercial Adrertiser.
taken again, old boy - ; the mitten may be
any color: It's the - young , man thal'a
blue.—Picayune. -
SrEAK gently, speak gently ; no matter
how Much bigger_and how much broader
across the shoulders _the other man
is, nor how cross he looks, speak gently.
The bigger and broader and crosser, the
gentler.-11arlington Haickeye. •
NOURISTOWS Herald: Two -women of
Watertown are going to have a talking
match for the championship, and twenty.
two hundred add ninetpeight of the twen
ty-three hundred inhabitants of the place
have already purchased tickets for the
West.
PEDESTRIAN (who had dlopped half
crown in front of "the blind "): " Why,
you confounded bunibur, you ain't blind!"
Beggar : ";dot I, sir ! If the card says I
am, they must havo given me a wrong
one. I am deaf and dumb."—Eastirn
Express. ' -
IT is said that a. murderer hung recent
ly at Indianapolis came to life on the dis
secting table. The students were too
quick for him, however, - and he felt so
cut up at the position in which he was
placed that he immediately died again.—t.
Picayune.
_
BASHFUL lover (to bis sweetheart) . —
"Ahem, miss, I want to see your father.
I've an important matter to propose to
him." Young lady (considerately)—" I'm
sorry papa is not at home ; but couldn't
you propose to' me just as well !" lledid, -
and with perfect success."—Boiton Post.
TFIE venerable wife of a celebrated phy
sician, one day casting her eyes out of the
window, observed her husband - in the fu-1
neral wsSession of 'one of his patients, at
which - she exclaimed : "I do wish my
husband would keep away from such pro
cessions ; it appears so much like a tailor
carrying Lome his work."
Frri Juan Ltrinow, in . " The Heart of
- a Continent," has told about a man who
said that "it was so cold the thermome
ter got down off a nail," but a man down
our way says be has seen the thermome
ter wobble into the stove, with the remark
if this blamed weather didn't let up
it was going to resign as weather clerk.'
”AZE you engaged 2" said a gentleman
to a laily,from Marysville, at a ball the
other evening. "I was, but if that Pete
Johnson thinks Pm going to sit here and
see him squeeze that freckle-faced Wilk
ins girl's hand all the evening, he'll be
mistaken, - solitaire or no solitaire:" • The -
gentleman explained, and went out to get
n Francisco Newsletter.
A YOUNG woman'married an old wid
o'wer in Tannerville, Georgia, and soon
fell in lore with his son, who was abotit
her own age. The matter was fully dis
cussed by the trio, and all agreed that it
would be better -for her to become the
wife of the son. The transfer was arnica--
bly mado by means of a divorce. Since
then the old Man has married his ex-wife's
mother, and the re-arranged family is
harmonious and hapky.—Trop -
Ax interesting question is now agitk
ting the religious authorities of New Br;
ain. The cannibals of that delectable
gion murdered a missionary party, where.;
upon the Rev. George Brown organized
an expedition and everlastingly whipped
the savages. "It,ia true," be says in - his
report, "that many lives have been lost—
probably between 50 and - 80—but the
present and future good of thotusands will
far outbalance that."—Trojt
AT a children's patty, the other day,
oysters were served for sapper. Noting
that one little shaver was remarkably
fond of the bivalves, the lady of the house,
anxious lest ho should allow his appetite
to exceed his judgment, inquired if ho
thought his mother would_ permit him to
eat so many oysters at home.
. "Yes!" said the yinang gourmand; "4 1
there was enough to gq,'Nruid I ",—.KaO
Haven.Beifister. - =
II
ME
" says Jones.
Ist his house.
e want to
I. .e4ollar.
the goat.
=2l
ly drank a
.r's back
interior de.
, ,
if you Jilted
we might
. And they
either.
M
ish to state
i ,, ..e10ck that
as soon as
o Atonal.
lIIMI
MI
po Journal,
appreciative
itation-room
rats, how . ,
• man is nO