Bradford reporter. (Towanda, Pa.) 1844-1884, April 17, 1879, Image 1

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    TE**s OP PIIIILICAIIION. - _•
TheBRADTOBDALPOATLIIs publbhed miry
Thursday.morning by Oooriatce. i UITCIICOCK,
at One Dollar per annum, In advance.
Mr Advertising in all cases exclusive or bib
serition to the paper.
SPECIAL NOTICES Inserted at Tax cirri per
line for first Insertion, and riveciteve particle for
each subsequent Insertion, but no notice inserted
for less than fifty routs.
YEARLY ADVERTISEMENTS will be Insert ,
ed at reasonable rates.
Administrator's 'and Executor's Notices, Pt
Auditor's Notices, t 2.40 linsinese Cards, avenues,
(per year) #S, additional lines lit each.
yearly advertisers are entitled to quarterly
- changes. Transient advertisements most be paid
for in advance.
Alt resolutbms of associations: communications
of limited or individual Interest,. and no.ices of
marriages or deaths. exceedinglivellneiare charg
mi rive cxtrva per line, but simple notices or Mar
rtac..s and de .ths will be published without charge.
ItaroitTnt having a larger circulation than
any other paper in the county, makes It-the beat
advertising medium in,Nersheva Pennsylvania.
JOB PRINTINU of every kind, in plain and
fancy colors, done with neatness and 1101p:deb.
Blanks, Cards,- Pamphlets, Blltheada,
Btatements, &c., of °Toy variety and style, printed
at Ms shortest notice.• The itsvouvan °Mee is
well supplied a itia power presses, a good assort
. meta of new type, and everything in the printing
line can be executed In the most artistic manner
and at tho lowest rates. TERMS INVAILIAIILY
CASIL
Nusittrss §arbs.
WII. JESSUp,
•
ATTORNEY AND COUNSELLOR-AT-LAW.
• MONTROSE, VA.
Judge Jesmnp haring remained the practlie cif the
law in Northern rennsylvania, will attenji to any
'twat numluema tntrtrited to hint In Itradtonl county.
Persons wishing to consult him, ran call on H.
Streeter. Erq., Towanda, Pa., when an arydlatnieut
can be luade.
•
RENE.): STREETER ,
ATTORNEY AND COUNSELLOR-AT-LAW,
TOWANDA, PA.
Ye '214 '79
JAMES
.‘ 7
ATTORNEY-AT-Lkw,
mch9-76 TOW A.NDA, PA. •
OVERTON & SANDERSON,
ATTObNILY-AT.L.A.W,
TOWANUA, PA:
Joint SANDEnsoN
E. OVARTON, Jn
B M. PECK,
Arrommr-AT-Law,
0:11re over Braund & Mll's meat market
Towanda, Jan. 15, 1679.
E L
AT * lrle NET-Ai-LAW,
TOWANDA, PA.
1 -1 F GUFF,
14,
A TTO.RNET'.;.4.T-11AW,
Kiln Street (4 doors north of Ward f)onse). To-
wanda, Pa. (April 12, 1877.
k II T T m T .l O l R s
t lE n i' d
I3LIS1111!:+3 entrusted to his care lu Bradford,
Sullivan and Wyoming Counties. Odle° with Esq.
Portar. Cobsl9-7411.
ANGLE, D. D. S
4 , I•EIt.kTIVE AND 31rEctiA:cicAl. DENTIST
.)ttlec on State Street, second floor of Dr. Pratt's
apt 3 79.
lEEE
ApsoN & HEAD,
ATTORNEYS-AT-LAW,
Towanda, Pa. tlßicc overdlartictt do Tracy, ldialn-at.
G. F. 11.1, sox'. [a9l7) ARTGun G CAD.
-1- ILSBREE r, .SON,
ATTORNEYS-AT-LAW!
FOWANDA, A.
N. C. ELSIIREE.
0 . • D. KINNEY,
ATTenNEY-AT-LAW.
• 011ire—Ttonms foriuerly occupied by V. M. C. A
Room. i1an.:11"713.
McPIIERSON,
1111
A TTORNET-AT-sll1 1 7,
TOWANDA, PA.
Diet Atry Brad. Co
yu w
oN W. ;
ATTOILNEY-AT-I.AW AND IL S. COMMISSIONXII,
TOWANDA; PA:
onica—Nosh Side Public Square.
Jah.1,11173.
DIVIES & CARNOCIIAN,
ATTORNMTS-AT-LAW.
SMITH SIPE OF WALD HOUSE.
Dec 23-75. TOWANDA. PA,
REW WILT,
HI
ATTORNEY -AT -LAW
(1 , 11c05 over 'Turner & thirdon's I)rng store
Tywatla, ra.i,lllay be consulted In Gertunn.
(April 12, , 7 6 .1
~ . • —L
-....u... j
1 4
• - . YOUN G,
. i
krTouxEy4T-LAw,
TOWANDA, PA
(11110.-4orun.l auor south of the First Nat'nruil
I; tuk 11:161 St., up stairs: ,
WILLIAMS & ANGLE,
A TTO It S ETR-AT-LA W
FricE.—Formerty oc cu pi cd Watkins,
E4l.
11. N. WILLIAMS. (let. i 7, 17) E. J. ANGLI.
WM. .31.XWELL,
A TTORN ET-AT-LAW
TOWANDA, lA.
°tare oser I yton's Store
A t*il i 2,1575.
C L. LAMB,
4 " ATTOTrMS-AT-LAw,
WILKES-BARRE, PA
allectlous promptly attended to.
July 27,78
OVERTON & MERCUR,
ATTOISNETS-AVLAW,
TOWANDA,
nmee over Moutanyes Store. [may6ls
OVERTON. RODNEY A. MERCUR
MADILL CALIFF,
ATTORNEY S-ATLAW,
TOWANDA, PA.
Offle , Inloc:k, first de:km south of .ibe Pint
bank, up-scatra.
IL .1. MADILI.. ijanS.My) J; N. CALIF'''.
TILL S. 3 . 1.
.WOOF6URN, Physi
i_r elan and Surgeon. Wilco over 0. A. 13bielVe
Crockery chore.
Towanda. May 1. 15721 y..
•
B. ; ELLIr , DENTIST. Office
• over - NUF.. itnseniteM's, Toaluida, Pa.
Teeth Inserted nu Gcld,•Slirer, Rubber, and A.l
- base. Teeth extractad'withodt. pain. '
.c t.
Fle l'A YNE, , 211. D.,
1
PHYSICIAN AND - S. CIt6EON. •
mre over Itontanyes• Store. OBlre hours from 10
/r.) 12. A. st.. and from I' to 4, P. M. Special attention
t..ll.esceß of the Eye mot F.ar.-0et.19.'764t.
_
RYAN,
COUNTY StrERITiTEXDICNT
'Mtlre day last Saturday of each month, oyerffaraer
3: Gordon's Drug Store, Towanda, Pa. •
Towanda, June 70. 1878.
H. PEET,
TEACIIEU OF PrANo Music,
TERMS.-410 per term.
(Residence Third street, Ist ward.)
Towanda, Jan. 13,'79-1r......
S. RUSSELL'S
GENERAL • '
INSII RA N C.E • A-G ENCY
M1.T2i..70tt
pa IN TINO.
PORTRAITS AND LANDSCAPES
Painted to order at any price from is to }See.
G'l paintings Re-Painted, Re-Touched, or changes
made as desired.
MI work done In the blithest style of the Art.
•
• JOHANN P. BENDER.
Towanda, Ira" April la, 1578.
F I AST NATIONAL BANS,
TOW ANDA. PA.
C A NTAT. PAID
STAti'I.US FUND....
Thig Bank offers.annsual facilities for the trans
action of a keuerai banking busbies*.
JOF4. rowEtt., President.
QEELEY , S 'OYSTER BAY AND
1.. j EUROPEAN HOUSE.—A few's:loots souther
the !leans Mouse. Board by the dar.or Week on
reasonable terms. Warm meals served at all hours
o,y ate rs at wholesale and febVf7.
T IIE CENTRAL-HOTEL,
• AMSTER,
The undersigned, haring taken posseedon
of the above hotel, respectfully solicit* the patron'
age or hia old friends and the public generally.
bug 16-tt. 71. A.YOKIIEST.
GOODRICH & HlTCHCOCKeloubllahers.
VOLUME TXXIX.
Yes, I know there are stains on my carpet—
The traces of small, moddibootst
And I see your fair tapestry, glowing
All spotless with blossoms and fruit :
And I know that tnY walla are disfigured
With prints of Salad fingers and hands;
And I see that your own household whiteness
All fresh In Its parity stands.
Tes, I know my "black walnut "Is battered,
And dented by many small heels ;
'While your own polished stairway, all perfect,
its smooth, shining surface reivals
And limos! that my pitr'or Is littered
, With many old treasures and toys;
While your own Is In daintiest order,
•- Unharmed by the presence of boys I
- And I know that My room Is Inraded .
Quite boldly all hours of the day ;
While you sit in your own unmolested,
And dream the soft quiet away.
Yes, I know I have Jackets that wear out,
And buttons that never will stay; _
While you can embroider at leisure,.
And learn pretty arts-of .`erodtet."
And I know thera are lessons of spelling
Which I must be patient to bear ;
While you may sit down 'o your novel,
Or turn the last magazine near.
res, I know Mem are four !WM bedsides
Wherelmust stand watchful each ulght ;
While you May go out In your carriage.
Ard flash In your dresses so bright
Now I think I'm a neat little woman ;
I like my booze orderly, too;
And I•m fond of all dainty belongings;
Yet I would not change placei with you
ourril , 76
No I—keep your fair home, with its order,
Its freedom lioni trstddo and noise ;
And keep your own fanciful leisure;
But giro me my four splendid boys !
Tork Observer.
The Walk for a Dowry.
no,not thn dead, the silent deal tr,v,3 rest?
Or (loth-the shadow of unrighteous deeds
Done in this life, reach far Into the tomb?"
It was on All Saints' eve, in the
year 15C7, that a stranger, extreme
ly well-dressed, but pale and thin, as
if in feeble health, and accompanied
by his servant, stopped. at the door
of a respectable inn in the town of
Schweidness. The servant inquired
if a comfortable room could be pro
cured, and having been answered
satisfactorily, assisted his 'Master to
dismount. The gentleman Was re
ceived at the door by the host, who
showed him into the best apartments;
while the hostess, elated at the arri
val of a distinguished-looking guest,
hastened to give orders for his sup
per.
The large table was set 'for' the
evening meal in the room below: A .
number otburghers from the town
were feasting around it, discussing,
amid heavy draughts-of beer, the af
fairs of the State, and the prospects
of peace or war. We leave them to
their debates to glance at what was
passing in the !erne
. old kitchen be
longing-to the, establishment. -
The
large ehimney of the kitchen i
that yawned like a cavern, was flank
ed on' either Iside by a stone bench.
On one • of these sat a .young and
beautiful girl. Her dress was a
coarse serge, and ill-fitted ; but her
graceful - Term, and face shaded by a
profusion of brown ringlets, would
have adorned the highest sphere. No
poet's lay could have done more than
justice to the beauty of. those large,:
dark eyes; now fixed on the ground •
or' the soft, round arm and. whitZ
hand that rested on her lap. Her
spinning-wheel was before her. btl::it
stood idle, for she was_absorbed in
thought. Presently a tear ,glistened
on the fringes of her eyelids and slid
slowly down - her.pale cheeks..
A young mail, of handsome face
and figure, had entered the room un
perceived, and stood for a moment•
gazing on the dejected girl. At last
he came ncarer,.and leaned over her
, In tears, again; Margaret," whis- -
pered " Nay--look up, sweet
one, for there is now no cause fol.
grief. I will . speak to my parents to
night." .
" Oh, no, no ! " cried the girl, ear
nestly, while
. she wrung her small
'hands with an expression of hopeless
anguish "Do it .not, Franz! Thy
father will curse qbe • thy mother
'will never pardon • thy secret mar
riage with the, poor maiden l Be st
lent, Franz, till I am dead. It will
not be long till then, I am sure."
"No, Margaret," said Franz, "I
cannot. I will not be silent. 1 have
met with good fortune;- I am no
longer dependent on my father." .
" Good fortune! Bast thou found
a treasure!"
"Not that; but the count:to whom
the great forest of belongs,
is in wanto"f alorester. Old Casper,
whom •I have , so often. visited, as
thou knowest, died., this morning. I
said naught to thee, beloved, of my
hopes, while I feared disappointment;
but now all is happiness. The count
is pleased with me, and has given
me the place." ' •
"Ah, my htieband,l. would'
rejoice with thee! " answered the
young girl.• "'But have not thy par
ents, who know of thy kindness to-1
wards me, often' reproached me . With!
my mean birth, as well as my pover
ty ? Would they not ere now have
sent me away, but that the inn needs
an active damsel' to serve the guests
with wine?'. No, Franz • I have
prayed to be. strengthened, and my
resolution is flied. They shall nev
i er know "I am thy wife, until they
I are willing 'to receive me, as such!"
"Leave all to me, Margaret," be
gan the. young - man , but he
was interrupted by. the opening of
the &Or, and the entrance of dame
Martha, his mother. Franz started
back, and - walked, away iu some ern
barraasment, .while Margaret dried
her tears, and attempted with tremb
ling hands to disentangle her thread.
',The confusion of both did not escape
the dame.
"Shameless girl," she. exclaimed,
in anger, "wilt tbou persist in talk;
ing with my son. as if tho& wert his
equal ? W01110'66 ',thou - entrap 'the'
noble young huntsman . , the heir - of
all we hive, to wed thee? Did he
commit such folly,-from that how
I would disown him!"
4 ' Spare me, spare me!" exclaimed
the poor - girl, clasping her hands.
We have resolved—his father and
L. ELStMEE
eteb.l7B
rowAsDA., PA.
smoo
N. N. BETTS;Cailder.
Feb. 14.1878.
Sadly.
*OTHER'S BOWL
geletded Ede.
BY 888 E. F. ELLET.
I—that he elmll wed no damsel who
cannot bring him a dower of a bun=
dred gold pieces. Where is thy
weilth, foolish maiden ? "
Margaret answered only with tears. -
" Swear to me, then, that thou wilt
told no discourse with him till , thou
carat bring me such a sum as thine
own. Swear, or begone this Instant!"
4 'l swear!"
The hostess gazed for a moment
into her pale, sad face, and then re
snmed in a so fterl tone:
"It is well. 1 trust thee. Thou
hast-in truth a good heart, awl art -a
brave girl. - I have nought against
"thy-person; but like should match
with like. The poor must not aspire
to the rich, nor one born in shame to
the son of honest parents."
The last reproaehjfamiliar as is
from. her lips, rent Marg,aret's heart.
She left the kitchen and hastened to
her own little chamber, where she
wept and soobed a long while,; till
called upon to come forth and aerie
the guests.
The stranger, meanwhile, having
supped in his own apartment, de
'seceded to the dining hall, and joined
the company who were still drinking
around the table. lie was willing
to beguile the tedium of the evening
by hearing something or the nets of
the clay . The burg hers readily gave
him a place at the upperiend Of the
table. More wine was called for, and
presently Margaret entered, bearing
a flagon of the ruby liquor, which she
offered first to the stranger. Ile
looked at her earnestly, for herifea
tures reminded him of some one he
bad known in former years, and.. in.
quired her name. The young girl
answered with modest grace, and
having served the wine, retired to the
en•l of the hall to await further or
ders:
The various subjects of disethision
were gradually dropped as it grew
late. At last the gineral silage ena
bled, the company to hear a conver
sation, in a low tone, held between
two of the citizens.
" But have you: really belief in
this ?" asked one.
't Certainly," I replied the other.
"The watchman told me the story
himself, and I have heard of . several
who have seen the spectre in time
past." . .
" What' is it about a spectre? "
asked the stranger. '
The btirghe r an swe red re,spectfully :
" It concerns a rumor, sir, that has.
somewhat pnr i zled our townsfolk.
There is in tile churchyard, in the
Eastern division, an ancient tomb,
vaulted as they were informer times,
and so defaced, that the inscription
cannot : be read. Yore, therefOre,
know who lies there. u s name chid
race, perhaps, if known, would beAto
longer remembered •, but the body
wit not remain buried • and for
years it has been reported, that on
the even or certain holidays, the dead
man forsakes
,the tomb,. and -walks
about the burial ground. The, pres
ent I sexton,,whose father has often
seen him, told me .but :a short time
since, that• - when he opened the tomb,
Lb deposit therein another corpse, he
.received a- blow from nn invisible
hand,• hard as if given by a skeleton,
that idled him to the ground, and
that a voice at the same time whis-
pored, ' Bring no one here until I
myself can lie down in the grave
peace." .
Amazement and superstitious fear
were expressed in the.countenances
of all present. The stranger mo
tioned to the burgher to. go on.
"The sexton," he continued, "was
natulally overcome with terror. Ile
has never since . dared •to pass,
,the
spot after nightfall."
"The Watchman," said another,
" once saw the phantom at midnight;
but did not venture to speak to it."
" It walks at midnight, then.? "
asked the stranger. -
"Prom that to one; but only on the .
eve of some holiday," 'answered the
first. ." But at any time One may see
the bleached skeleton, through the
open door of the tomb. They say
the earth will not cover the accursed
bones, because the dead man left un
expiated some fearful crime.. Thus,
he lies unburied, and will be • iao till
the curse is removed. The stones die
mouldering away, and will soon . fall
in ruins."
"A strange . tale, 'in Booth," oly- I
served the stranger. " I- have a mind
to visit the spot myself, and this very
night; fur surely to•irght the spirit
will walk abroad ! But I am feeble,
and the night is raw and cold. let,
us a physician, I am so curious to
know the truth, that I will amply re=
ward any One who Will go, and bring
me a token that he has actually been
at the place. I would not scruple to
give a hundred gold pieces."
There was silence among the coma
pang. None seemed willing to un
dertake the expedition. At last,
Margaret, timid and trembling, came
forward— -
" I am ready, sir," she said, " to
go tor the sum sou promise."
"='i'on —a delicate girl —and at
midnight!" exclaimed the physician.
"'You,,Margaret?" responded sev
era! of the guests. •
TYes!" answered the girl, reso
lutdly: "I have need of that .sum."
4 %et her alone," cried the host.
"Let us see bow far her presumption
will', lead her."
-."What shall I bring as a token? ".
asked' Margaret.
The' stranger . drew. a . gold ring'
from his finger.
"Put this ring," said. he,- "on the
finger of the skeleton. In the morn
ing,l will send and see if it is _there;
and if I find you have told me the
truth, the [Writhed pieces will he
yours." -
Franr, - .the only person who felt
sufficient interest -in Margaret to op
pose her solitary and perilous walk,
was in his chamber; and.no one else
withstood her... The girl left the
room, wrapped herself in a cloak, and
walked with rigid steps toward the
church-yard, . :-
Not until, Margaret was in the
.burial-groun, and ;pear the end- of
her walk, did her resolution begin to
'give waY. She. stood now close -by.
the --dilapidated tomb.:. The stones
had 'fallen away from the 'entrance;
So that, the vault within was quite
exposed. The pale moonlight . fell
through the. wide gaps above, and
gleamed on the - white bones of a
TOWANDA, „BRADFORD COUNTY, 4., THURSDAY. MOBBING, APRIL. 17, 1879.
skeleton ; distinctly, seen as it lay np•
on the ground. It was a fearful thing,
thus to see the secrets of the grave
disclosed. All that Margaret had
heard of the tales current among.the
psople coneerding the dead the earth
refused to 'corer who; for some
nameless crime, had been condemned
to moulder In the sight of living men
—came back to her reeolkttion, and
filled her with a sense of sickening
horror. The scene was not calculated
to reassure her. Far as she could see
Was a city Of graves. The silent
mounds, the marble monuments
sown thickly on every side, and white
in the feeble, uncertain ' glimmering
of the moon, seemed to chide her for
invading the repose of the dead.
With what unhallowed purpose—the
selfish desire of purchasing her own
happiness by gratifying the curiosity
of another had she penetrated into
this sanctuary of the departed, at an
hour • sacred to repose !. Margaret
trembled.vioiently ; she was obliged
to lean againt the tomb for support,
and a shudder came over her as . she
touched the chilly stones. By a strong
effort she compused herself, tul, bent
On accoinplishing her task, she push-
ed aside the rubbish and entered.the
tomb. Another' moment and she
had slipped the ring on the.finger of
the skeleton. But she .overtasked
her courage; the strong feeling that
for the time had mastered every oth
er in her oreast--wlicn the task was.
accomplished suddenly - gave way to
.a wild, indefinite terror. She strove
to fly from the spot, but had scarcely
come forth from the tomb when she.
fell to the ground insensible.-
. %How many minutes she lay in this
state she could not tell; she was first
aroused to consciousness by . hearing
the; tones of the bell striking 12. , She
rose slowly, and looked around her.
What was her amazement and horror .
to see the skeleton standing beside
her, and without the tomb! The
sight did not
. eause her to swoon
again ; she seemed upheld- by a su
pernatural strength, which did not
falter, though the ghastly face •of
the spectre was turned full upon her,
anal the hand on which she had placed
the ring . was extended toward her.
She stood r ' still •, it came nearer; the
horny arm locked itself, in hers! .
" Depart, ,in the saint's name ! "
she exclaimed at length.
A low and hollow voice answered
"I cannot depart; I will never
leave thee, till thou hastobtained my
l!orgiveness l " -
" Forgivenessi—Of whom?"
" Of yonder woman."'
Margaret's eye followed-thedirec
tion indicated ; sd, indeed, at
short distance, upon a grave un
marked by any monument, she saw a
female figure sitting. The white dra
pery of the tomb shrouded her form;
her face was. wrapped in a kerchief
that covered her eyes, leaving only
the deathly cheeks and marble lips
exposed. This apparition was even
more terrible than the other, for the
cold and motionless features wore
something of the semblance of life.
Toward this -spot the young girl
felt herielf dragged, with a force she
could not resist,iby thelkeleton. arm
that grasped hers. They stood close
by the solitary female figure; her
spectral companion knelt, and Mar-.
garet with him.'
" Forgive Aim " she inn inured
•
fain "
The apparition shook • her head
solemnly and sternly. ,
"Forgive him for my sakcl," cried
11targart7t, more earnestly. "He will
not let me go till I have obtained his
pardon
Again the Spectre shook her head.
The poor girl -rung her bands in des
pair., What a doom was before her!
With all the energy of i'as'sionate
feeling, she made one more appeal :
" Kirgive him for the sakeiof the
child I , am to-bear!" ,
• The apparition sloWly bowed :her
head; and the words, "He is -forgiv
eni" came from het motionless lips
. - The arm of the young girl was
suddenly released. The scene van
ished from before eyes ; a faintness
came over her, and she sank once
more to•tbe ground.
Meanwhile the guestS at tLe inn sat
In expectation of the young girl's re
turn. Some praised her courage;
others blamed her rashness;, but Jew
thought see would_bave, the, hardihood
to persist in her enterprise, the
physician was occupied in convey
lion. ; with the host, apart from t e
'rest, and seemed to be ;making ear
nest inquiries l cone6rning some per
son.
" I f he be the person I mean,". said
he, "It is the joiner; Hallerbaeh; who
formerly lived in Breslau. For some
years, as I have learned, be has re
sided in this neighborhood: - TO see
him i the object of my present jour
ney."
"It will be easy accomplished,
then, sir," returned the host. "The
man lives scarce a mile hence. Mar
garet can give you every information
about, him. for she was brought up
by him as his daughter."
" How say' you—his daughter ? "
asked the stranger eagerly.. " How
old is-she-?"
"-Nineteen," interposed the host
ess, " on . St. Michael's day."
"It is the same! " exclaimed the
stranger. '"Where—where is she P 7
"She is the young girl who went
forth.jnst now to the churchyard."
The physician started up, and
seemed to gasp for breath, then sank
back in his seat. At this moment
Franz entered and asked for Marga
ret. Several of the company at once
informed him whither she had gone.
"To the - churchyard—and - alone,
at this hour I" he repeated, in ex
treme surprise, and without 'another
word, rushed rom the house. •
"Stop my son—he is ;mad!"
shrieked the hostess.
"A thousand guilders to any one who
will bring her back in safety ! " cried
the stranger. He bad gone a few
paces toward the door, but-looked so
pale and a wild, that- those around
-forced him back to his seat. They
refused to release him, in spite of his
st.rugglesifor a suspition of insanity
at once ntered the minds or. all
present. .his, was confirmed with
every treaty and entreaty he used to
obtain his freedom. The honest
burghers bad no idea of setting loom
a madman in their midst. •
I Several minutes elapsed before .
REGARDLESS OP DENITNOIATION FROM ANY. QUARTER.
quiet was restored e The stranger's
explanation of his angular behavior
satisfied every one., •At the ago of
30 he had been the family physician
of a rich Bohemir, Count, whose
favor and confidence were,' yielded to
him without reserve. The (Yount had
a beautiful daughter; she loved, and
was beloved by the physician; . was
secretly married to him; and fled with
him from her father's.displeasure.-
The, lovers went to Breslau under
an assented name, and lived for some
time quietly in the house of thejoin
er; llallerbach. Here the young wife
gave birth to a daughter, and - died in
the same hour. In the midst of his
grief, the physician learned - that the
Count bad infoitnation of his retreat,
and found it necessary to leave the
country. His child; was entrusted to
Hallerbach's care, and a sum fully'
adequate for its support—his all, in
fact—was plaeed in, his hands. The
father 'went into Italy.. There she
succeeded so well, that he ere long
obtained a lucrative situation in the
service of a nobleman of high rank.
Why did he not return to Germany
to reclaith his child? Many obstacles
interposed ; he bad, besides, no cer
tain intelligence that she yet lived.
The love of offspring is far weaker
In a father's,than a mother's breast.
The journey, which he purposed some
time to make , was delayed year after
year;
and of " late a continuance of
ill'health had unfitted him for travel.
It was only within a month that he
had been able lo accomplish what
had, in the absence of other ties, be
come the wish of his life. lle arrived
at Breslau ' • learned there -whither
Hallerbach had removed, and follow
ed him. The man must have betrayed
the trust reposed in him; or ,never
would his daughter have; been re
duced to a condition of servitude.
"lie has indeed done that 1" an
swered the host. "The poor girl
had but a wretched home with him.
And he-told me, when she was placed
with us. as a serving -maid, that she
was the natural (laughter of an advo
cate, long since dead."
The stranger groaned as he heard
this. Meanwhile, twa or three of the•
burghers had gone out with intent to
iearch_ for the missing g . rl. They
returned in it few moments with
Franz, who supported in his arms
the half-lifeless form of Margaret.
The young girl soon revived, and
looked bewildered around her. The
stranger , who had hung over her in
speechless emotion, exclaimed:.
" It is—it is—my lost child!" and
clasped her in Uis arms.
The mystery on both sides was
soon explained. Margaret had been
found by her half-frantic - lover on the
spot where she bad fallen, and still
lay insensible. She was identified,
not only by a strong resemblance in
feature, but afterwards by the con
k:S(lton of the guilty llallerbach
self, as the daughter of the physician.
Her simple story of love was soon
told, - and the young: man Franz
proudly acknowledged as her hus
band by the grateful father. It may
well be imagined that Dame Martha,
when she found the poor girl to. be
the laWful daughter and heiress of a
wealthy man, was as well pleased
with her alliance as she had formerly
been against it.
The ring placed by the heroic girl
on' the skeleton's finger was found
afterward within thertomb. She wore
it as her wedding ring, and :trans•
mitted the relic to her descendants.
There was a difference of opinion
with regard to the occurrence in the
churchyard, of which Margaret, gave
a detailed account as soon as she had
becomelsufkiently composed. Some
insisted that she had been under a
delusion of the imagination, or that
the whole fancied scene was but a
vision that passed during her swoon.
o:4VocC.Lir,i);r4l33:44:cAci:OPVlV4:
To think o' me toilin' s liike a nager
for the six years I've been in Ameri
ka—bad luck to the day I iver left
the owld counthrY to be bate by the
likes o' them I (faix an' I'll sit down
when I'm ready,, so I will, Ann Ryan,
an' ye'd better be listenin' than drawn
your rernarkS) an' is't meself, with
five good characters from respectable
places, would he herdin wid the hay
thinS ? The saints forgive me, but
I'd be buried alive sooner'n 'Mt up
wit it a day longer. Ochl sorra a
bit I knew what was eomin' till the
missns walked into me kitchen' and
smilin' and . says, kind o' schared.:
" Hem's Fing Wing, Kitty, an' you
have too much singe to mind his
beid' o little strange." Wid that she
.shoots the doom; and holy ,. fathers.!
may I niver brathe another breath,
but there stud a rale haythin Chine
ser a griffin' like he'd just come off
a tay-hox. If you'll belave me, the
crayture was that yeller -it 'ud sicken
you to see him ; and sorra stitch was
on him but a black nightgown over
his trousers and the front of his head•
shaved clatter nor a copper biler, and
a black tail a-hanging down' from be
hind, wid his two feet stook into the
heathinest shoe you ever set eyes on. .
Och 1 but I was up-gtairs afore yon
could turn about, a givin' the misses
warnin'; an' only stopt wid her by
her rasin' me wages $2, and playdin '
wid me how. It was a Christian's duty
to bear wid• barbing, and taitch 'em
all in our power—the saints save mc!
Well, the ways and trials I had with
that Chineser, Ann Ryan, I couldn't
be. Willa. - Not a blissed thing cud I
do but he be lookin' on with his eyes
6000 up'ard like two pOomp-han
dies, an' he widdont a speck or a
smitch o' whiskers or, him, and his
fingernails full a yard long. But it's
dying you'd be to see the misses a
Inman' him, and he grinnin' an' wag
gin' his pig-tail (which was pieced
out long mid some black stoof, the
baythen :Oate l) and gettin' into her
ways 'Wonderful quick, l don't deny,
imltatin' that sharp, you'd be surpris
ed, and ketelsbe and copyin' things,
the best of us will do a-hurried wid
work, yet want comin' to the
knoa ledge Of the family—bad luck
to him! .
Bat the worrest of all was the
copyin' he'd be doin' till ye'd be dig
tracted. It's yerself knows the tin- .
der feet that's on me_ since ever I've.
bin in this country. Well, -owin' to
that, I fell Into the •way 9' slippin'
Me oboes off when "I'd be atria' down
THE OHDID3E. ,
to pale the paraties or the likes o'
that, and, do ye' mind, that haythin
would do .the mime thing after me
whinfier the 11318811/1 Oct himparin'
.apples or tomatesses.. The saints in
heaven couldn't have made him be
lave ho end kape the .shoes on him
when he'd
,be payling anything. \
Did I lave for that? Pais an didn't
he get me into trouble lid my missuit \
the haythin? You're aware yourself
how the boondles cumin' in from the
grocery often contains indrn'll go in-
to anything _dacently. So,-for that
matter, I'd now and then take out a
sup o' sugar, or flour, or tay, an' wrap
it In"paper and put it in me bitof a
box tucked'under the ironin' blankit,
the how it cuddent be bodderin any
one. Well, what should it be, but
this blessed Sathurday morn the
missus was a spakin' pleasant and
respecTul wide" me in the kitchen
when the grocer-boy comes in an'
stands (outcast her wid his boondles
and she motions like to Fing Wing
(which .I niver would call him, that
name nor any other but just haythin)
she motions to him, .she does, for to
take the ha:indica an' empty out the
sugar and 'what not *here they be,
longs. If_ \ you'll belave me, Ann
Ryan, what did that blatherin' Chine
ser do but take out a sup of sugar,
an' a handful o' tay, an' a bit o' chaze,
right afore the misses; wrap them in
to bits o' paper, an I spacheless wid
surprise, an' he the next minute up
wid the ironin' blankit and pullin'
out me box wid a show o' bein' sly
to put them in. Och, the Lord for
give me, but I clutched it, and.the
misses sayin,' " 0 Kitty 1" in a way .
that 'al crudle your blood. " He's a
haythin - nagel• s y says I. " I've found
you out," says she. " I'll arrest him,"'
says I. " It's you ought to be ar
rested," says stfe. "You wcin't,"
says I. " I will," says she ; and so
it went till she gave me such sass as
I cuddent take from no lady, an' I .
gave her warnin' an' left that instant,
an' she a-pointin' to the doore.
;;;ItY:tizi aliktii
HIS WIFE ATTEMPTS TO SHOW HOW IN
CONSISTENT HE IS.
Cincinnati Enquirer.
One evening, when Ralph Waldo
Emerson was enc.:aged in preparing
his new lecture, Mrs. Emerson ' who
haffthat moment flattened her finger
while trying to drive a nail with the
smoothing-iron, thrust her head into
his study , and said : -
" See here, sir I I want you to drop
that everlasting pen of purs, for . a
minute Cr two, at least, and go dawn
to the grocery and get a mackerel
for breafast."
"My dear," replied Mr. Emerson,
looking up from his work ;" my dear,
can't you go? You see I am billed
in -a dozen places to deliver this lec-,
tare on'Memory,' and. it isn't halt,
/
finished' that'sAyet
. nd what you call / yonr,
infernal lecture, is it?" said' .Mrs.
Emerson, sharply. "A nice party, ,
you are, to deliver a. lecture on
' Memory!" .
"And why, my love?" .said Mr.
Emerson, meekly.
" You never go out of the house
that you don't forget to put on your
hat or your boots, and you never
take a letter of mine to mail that
you don't carry it in your pocket for
six months or a year unless I happen
to find it sooner.. .During the past
thirty days you have carried out of
this house and forgot to bring back
no less than seventy-five or eighty
umbrellas; and you know yotirself
the last time you went to church you
took out your &lie teeth because, as
you said, they hurt your corns, and
came away and left them in the seat.
I say you are a nice man to talk to a
cultured audience on_ 'Memory,' and
if you don't trot right off to the gro
cery I'll- expose you before you are
twenty-four hours older."
Mr. Emerson started on a jump for
the grocery. and when he got there
he couldn't for the life of him recol
lect what he had come for.
I Os : I ' .
Writing on the rail, Mr. Burdette
says in the Burlington llawkeye: A
woman with three bird cages and a
little girl had just got on the train.
She arranges the three bird cages on
a seat; and then she and the little girl
stand up in the aisle, and she glares
around upon the ungallant men who
remained glued to their seats andlook
dreamily out of the window. I bend
my face down to the tablet and write
furiously, for I feel her eyes fastened
upon me. 'somehow or other, I am
always the victim in case of this del
icate nature. Just as. I expected. She
speaks, fastening her .commanding
gaze upon me:
" Sir,•would it be asking too much
if I begged you to let myself and my
little girl have that seat? A gentle-
man can always find a seat so much
more easily tlian a lady."
And she smiled. Not the charm
ingest kind of a smile. It was too
triumphant to be very pleasing. Of
course I surrendered.. said :
"Oh, certainly, I can find another
seat without any teouble."
She thanked me, and I crawled out
of my comfortable seat; and gathered
up my overcoat, my manuscript, my
shawl-strap package, my valise, and
overshoes, and she and the little girlwent into the vacant premises as soon
as the . writ of ejectment . had been
served, and they looked, happy and
comfortable.
Then I Stepped across the aisle;
I took up those bird cages, set them
along on the top of the coal box atid
set down on the seat thus vacated. I
said apologetically to the women, who
was gazing at me-with an expression
that boded trouble, that " it was much
warmer for the canaries up by the
stove." She didn't say anything but
she gave .me .a loOk that made it
much warmer for me, for about five
minutes, than the stoves can make it
for the canaries.. I don't believe she.
likes me, and I am uncomfortably
Confident that she disapproves of my
condUct.
NEW Haven Register : He was_a good
man, but he had his failings, and when
he arose before the brethren- awl 'with_
tremulous lips raid that - he bat "set a
pali example . before Ibis Heavenly' Fath
er," all those who knew about his steal
sing that bay thought ho spoke the truth.
TEE OEMBER OVER TEE WAR
•
, is is so far from tb!o
Then eaust no longer see
In the chamber over the gate
That old man dasolate, • •
Weeping' and walling sari
For his sou, whOls no more/
0 Absalom; ny son
Is It so long ago
That cry of human woo
- Tram the walled city came,
Calling on ble dear name,
\ That It has dled'away
In the distance of today
. 0 Absalom, myeon 1
There la no far nor near,
There is neither there nor here,
There is neither coon nor late,
In the Chamber oTer the gate,
Nor any longago
To that cry of o human woe,
0 Absslont, my son
From the ages that are past
The voice comes like a blast,
Over seas that wreck.and drown.
Over tumult of traffic and townl
And from ages yes.to be
Come tho echoes back to me,
- O Absalom, my son
Somewhere at every hour
The watchman 04 the tower
Looks forth and sees the fleet
Approach of the hurrying fee;
Of messengers, that bear • •
The tidings of despair,
O Absalom. my 1101.1!
He goes forth from the door,
Who shall retain no more,
With him our Joys depart ;*
The light goes out In hearts ;
In the chamber over the gate
We sit disconsolate.
0 Atosalalom, my son
That `its a common grief
• Bringeth but slight relief; •
. Ours Is the bitterest loss.
Ours Is the heaviest cross ; • _ .
And forever the cry edit be
Would God I had died for thee,
0 Absalom, my son I"
Henry W. Long/elfuw in Atlantic/or ifaro
BEYOND THE MILKY WAY.
THE SIGHT THAT WOULD THERE BE
UNFOLDED IN I TUE GAZE.
The counties millions of stars corn
posing the Milky Way appear to be
arranged in the fofm of a flat zone,
or ring, or rather`stratum, of irregu
lar shape. Its extent is so great as
properly to form a universe of itself.
If it were possible to-night to wing
our flight to any on of the bright
stars which blaze around us, sweep
ing away from our own system until
planet after planet fades in the dis
tance, and finally the sun itself
shrinks into a mere star—alighting
on a strange world that circles around
a new and magnificant" Sun, which:
has grodln and expanded in our sight
until it blazes with a magnificence
equal to that of our own—here let
us pause and lookout upon the star,
ry heavens which now surround us.
We have passed over sixty millions
of millions of miles. We have reach
ed a new system of worlds, revolving.
about another sun, and from this re
mote point we have a right to expect
a new heavens, as well as a new earth
on which we stand. But no. Lift
p your eyes, and lo! t h e old fami
.iat constellations are all there. Yon
der blazes Orion, with the rich and
georgeous belt there comes Arcturns
and yonder the. Northern Bear cir
cles his ceaseless journey round .the
pole. All is unchanged, and the
mighty distance over which we have
passed is but the thousandth part of
the entire diameter of this grand
cluster of runs and systems; and
although we have swept from our
sun to the nearest fixed star, and
have traveled a distance which light
itself cannot traverse in less than ten
years, yet the change wrought by .
this mighty journey, in the appear
ance of the heavens is no greater
than would be produced in the rela-
tire'position of the :person compos
ing this audience to a.person 'near
the centre,• who should change his
seat with his immediate neighbor. .•
Such, then, is the scale
_on. which
the starry heavens are built.' If, in
examining the magnificantcirlyks of
the remoter planets, and in tracing
the interminable career of some of
the. far-sweeping comets, we fearec
there might not be room for the ac ,
complishment of their vast orbits,'
our fears are now at an end. There
is no jostling here •, there is no inter
krence; no petterbation of the plan
ets of one system by the sung of
another: Each is isolated and in
dependent, filling the region or space
assigned, and, within its own limits,
holding on its appointed movements.
Thus far we have only spoken of
the Milky Way. In case it be pos
sible to pierce its boundaries, and.
pass through into the regions or space
which lic beyond, the. inquiry arises,
what meets the vison there ? What
lies beyond these mighty limits?
Does creation cease .. with this one
great cluster,and is all blank beyond
its boundary.
Here - again the telescope has given
us an answer. When we shall have
traveled outward from our own
and passed in a straight line from
star to star, until we shall have left
behind us, in grand perspective a
series of five hundred suns, we then
stand on the Confines of our sown
great cluster of stars. All behind
blitzes with the light of countless
orbs, scattered in wild magnificence,
while all before us is deep, inpenetra
ble, unbroken darkness. No glance
of human vision can pierce the dark
profound.
But summoning the telescope to
our aid, let us pursue our mighty
journey through space. Far in the
distance we are just able to discover
a faint haze of light—a minute lumi
nous cloud which comes up to meet
us—and .towards this object we will
urge our flight. We leave ;the shin
ing millions of our own great cluster
far behind.. Its stars are shrinking
and.' fading; its dimensions are
contracting. It once filled the
whole • heavens, and now its.
myriads of blazing orbs could almost
be' grasped with a single hand. But .
now look forward A new universe,
of astonishing grandeur, bursts on
the eight. The cloud of light
has swelled and expanded, and
its millions of-suns now fill the whole
heavens.
We have reached the clustering of
ten millions of stars. Look on' the
right: there is no limit. Look to
the left : there is no end. Above,
below, sun rises upp sun, and sys
tem e
upon system i n endless and im
ineasurale prospective. Hero is a
81.00 pel Annum In Advance!.
new -. universe, 'as . magnificent, as
glorious, as our own—a new Milk,
Way, whose vast diameter the gash
ing light would'not cross in a thousand
years. Nor is this a solitary object.
Go ont on a clear, cold winter night;
and reckon the stars which strew the
heavens, and count their , number—
and for every single orb thus visible
to the naked eye, the telescope re
veals, a universe; far sunk in the
depths of space, and scattered with .
vast profusion over the entire surface
of the heavens. tt
Some of these blaie With countless
stars; While others occupying the con
fines of visible apace, but dimly stain
the blue of the sky, just perceptible
with the most powerful wiling that
man can summon to the aid of his
vision. These objects are' called
clusters and nebtdte—clusters when
near enough to permit their individ
ual stars to be 'shown by - the - tele
scope, nebulin when the mingled
light of their suns and systems can
only be seen as the hazy cloud.
Thus have we risen to ° the orders
of .creation. We'commenced with a
planet, and its statellites ; 'we rose to
the sun and its revolving planet', ai
magnificent system of orbs, all united •
into one great family, and governd
by the same great - law ; and we now
find millions of_ these suns clustered
and associated 'together in the-forma ?
Lion of a district universe, whose num
ber. already revealed to the, eye of
than, is not to be counted by the
scores or hundreds, but has risen to:
thousands, while every increase of
telescope power is adding by hun
dreds to their catalogue.
Let us now explain, these "island
universes," es the Germans have apt- -
ly termed th6m,.and attempt approx
imately to circumscribe their limits,
and measure their distances from us
and from each Other. Sir William
HerSchel, to whom we - are. indebted
for this department 'of
,astronomy,
conceived a plait by which it was
possible approximately to sound the_
depths of space, and determine,with
in certain' limits, the distance and
magnitude of the clugters and nebula
within the reach of his telescopes.
To convey some ide l a of his method
of conducting these most wonderful
researches, imagine a level plain, of
indefinite extent, and along a straight
line, separated by intervals 'of one
mile each, let posts be placed, bears
ing boards on which certain words
are printed in letters a the same
size. The words printed on the near
est board, we will suppose, can just
be rend with the naked eye. To read
those on the second, telescopic aid is
required, and that power which suf
fices to enable -the letters to be dis
tinctly seen is exactly double that of
the unaided eye. The telescope re
vealing the letters at the distance of
three miles is threefold more power:-
ful than the eye, and so of all the
'Others. In this Way.we can provide
ourselves with instruments whose
space penetrating power, compared
with that of the eye, can be readily
obtained. -
Now to apply these principles to
the sounding of the
,heavens. The
eye, without assistance, would fo:low
and still perceive the bright star
Siritti4, if removed back to twelve
times its presezt distance. After
this, as it recedes, it must be follow . -
ed by the telescope; Suppose, then,
a nebula is discovered 'with a teles
cope of low power, and, it is required
to determine its character and dis
tance. The astronomer applies one
power after another, until he finally
employi a telescope of sufficient reach
to reveal the separate stars of which
the object is composed—which shows
it to be a cluster; and since the
space-penetrating power of , this in
strument is known, relative to that of
the human eye, in case the power is
100, times greater than that of -the
eye, then would the Fluster be located
in space 100 times farther than the
eye can reach, or 1,200 times more
remote than Sirius; or at such a Jis
tance that its light would only reach.
our Earth after a journey of 120,000
years I
Such was Herschel's method of
locating these objects in apaCe. Some
are so remote as to be far beyond the
reach of the most Beiwerful
ments, and no teleScopie aid can
show,them 'other = than nebulous
cloud. It was while 'pursuing these
grandi investigations _that - Herschel
was led to the conclusion that among
the nebulae which were - visible in the
heavens there weresome composed of
chaotic matter —a a hazy, luminous
fluid, like that occasionally thrown
out from cometson their approach to
the sun.
Amonv these chaotic' masses he
discovered some in which the eviden 7
ces of condensation appeared mani
fest, while in others lie found a cir
cular disc of light, with a bright nu
cleus in the centre. • Proeehding yet
,fartheri he found well-formed stars
surrounded by 'a misty halo, which
presented all the characteristics of
what he now conceived to be hebu
ions fluid. Some of the unformed
nebulae were of enormous extent;
and among those partially condensed,
such as the Rebuke with planetary
discs, many were found so vast that
their magnitude would fill 'the space
.occupied by the sun and all its plan-_
ets, forming a sphere with a diame
ter of more than 6,000 millions of
miles. Uniting these and many oth
er • facts, the, great astronomer was
finally brought to believe that worlds
might yet be' in the process of forma
tion by the gradual condensation of
this nebulous fluid, and that from
this chaotic matter originally came
the sun and all the fixed stars which
crowd the heavens, 'This theory, ex
tended, but not modified, in the
hands of Laplace, is made to account
for nearly all the phenomena of the
solar. system.
- For a long time this bold and sub
lime speculation was looked upon,
even by the wisest philosophers, with
remarkable favor. The resolution of
one or two nebulie (so' classed by
Herschel)„ with the fifty-two feet re
flector of Lord Rome, has induced
some persons to abandon the theory,
and to attempt to prove its impossi
bility. All that I have to say is that
Herschel only adopted the theory af
ter he had resolved many hundreds
of nebula into stars; and- if there
over existed a 'reason Or accepting
the truth of - this remarkable specula
NUMBER 46
tion, that reason has been scarcely
in any degree affected bytecent dis
coveries. , -
I have examined a large number
of these mysterious objects, floating
on the deep ocean of space like the
faintest filmy cloud- of light. No
power, hoiever great, Of the teles
cope can accomplish the slightest
change in their appearance; So dis
tant are they that their light employs
(in case" they be clusters) hundreds
of thousands of years in reaching the
eye that gazes upon them ; sad _so
extensive, even when .viewed ' from
such a distance as to fill the entire
- field of view of the telescope many
times 1- - -[O. M. Mrrcusul
s4lli:V4;io Will 3:4 3:11 k'
A story is told'of oneof thegrand
jurors from Northfield, Vermont, in
attendance upon the- last term of
court \ at Montpelier. He was 'afraid
he would not awake in season to take
the six o'clock train for the capital, •
which he, bad talked over -with his
wife on retiring. He had just got
into a s ound sleep when his faithful
spouse woke him, suggesting that it
must be time to get up. He did,
found it was •only midnight, and re
tired again. Soon he was again '
aroused, and this time, upon consult. ,
•ing the clock, it -proved to be only
two A. M. Somewhat disturbed and
angered at being so often broken of
his slumbers, iie again sought his
couch, admonishing his wife thus:
"Look here! you, keep your elbow -
out of my back and your month out_ t
of my ear till morning." Feeling
herself reliev - ed of any further re-'
sponsibility she went to sleep for
good, and left her lord and master to
wake when be chose, which he-did at
four o'clock.' Thinking it would not
pay to try ;and get any more sleep, -•
he built- a fire, put on his overcoat
an hat, took his valise in his hand,
and sit`down before the fire fora few-,
minutes. Meanwhile his wife slum
bered on until seven o'clock, when \
she awoke to find him gone, whereat
she felt quite badly—saying she intend
ed to have got him a warm breakfast.
Leisurely proceeding to dress herself,
she sought the kitchen where to her
astonishment, she beheld her husband
sitting bolt upright in his chair be.
fore the stove, fast asleep, with the
trainzOnc over an•hour!
SHE SUSPECTED IT
From the Detroit Free Tress,
When a street car gets off the rails
there is always one_ women abroad
who doubts her own sense,-even after
she-has been banged from one side
.of the car ,to the other half a dozen
times. Such a women was a passen
ger on a Woodward-avenue car ,"yes
terday, and after the car had bumped
- along for half a block over the pave
ment she rang the bell. The driter
looked in, and she asked: -
" Is this car off the track
" It are," he replied.
"Well, go* on;, I more than half
suspected it," she said, as she got a
new brace for her feet.•
After a while the car was hauled
upon the track again, and the women
'rang the bell and inquired : -
"Are we on the track again?".
" We arc answered the driver.
" Well, don't 'Stop here talking; I
suspected it was back there," she
said, as .she sunk -back on, the'seat
and closed her eyes. '
FUN, FACT AND IMETIIE.
A rayrisT told an' Ohio man that his
tooth was affected with "nodular calcifi
cation of the pulp."
Tire King of the Feejee Islands is said
to relish "Baby Mine" very. much. Bo
likes it well done, too.
Wno . was it that alluded to Joaquin
Miller as. the "poet lariat?"' On that
must'ang 'his hopes of fame. •
IF-women are really angels; why don't
they fly over-the fence instead of making
such a fearfully awkWard job of climbing.
A BAREFOOTED Syrit — cuse girl kicked d
burglar mit of the house, and-an observ
ing mule wetiebehind the barn and wept.
A n.tx was boasting that he had an el=
evator in his house. "So he tias," chim
ed in his wife, "and he keepi it in the
cupboard in a bottle."
A FrVi.-year-old daughter, of Provi- -
deuce, ILL,
_dropped a letter in tho post
office, asking Santa Clans to give her a
bank that wonl fail.
11En- First 4 i3unday at Church—Little
GirL—" Nurse, please, please give ma a
penny to give to the organ'-grintler ; he's
coming round begging with a dish."
WE trust there is-no foundation for the
rumor
.that Eli Perkins is dramatiiing
Talmage's sermons. The country has had
enough of the illegitimate drama..
GEORGE WILLIAM ChITIS would make
a caPital.diplomat. Ho- is one of those
men whose ckesire to be impartial leads
him to part - his hair exactly in the mid
dle.
No matter how good-natured a man
may be, he will-invariably -get mad when
he discovers that there is no towel in the
room, and is compelled to dry his face on
the bed-quilt. , •
AN old Judge-told a young lawyer that
ho would do well to pick some of the
feathers from the wings of his imagina
tion and stick them, into -the tail of his
(judgment. -
A rOCNO lady . said .to her lover :
Charley, how far is it around - the
world 2" ." About twenty-four inches,
tiny darling," replied he, as his arm encir
cled her waist: She was all the world to
him.
A Nl.uns.os professor condoling with a
student on , his low position in his class
must have teen comforted when the stu
dent replied,Well, "'Professor I never
mind, I presume I am as much tO blame
as you are."
Inisu car driver (talking to the new
agent about the violent death of the last
ono)—" Be gorra, the wonder is he wasn't
shot long before ; but singe, they say,
-what's iverybody's business is nobody's
business."
PEDESTRIAN (who,haw droppe d half a
crown in front of "the' blind ;') "Why
you confounded humbug, you're not
blind !"—Beggar; Not, I sir i If the card
says I am, they have given me a wrong ,
one. I'm deif and dumb."
A. MAN passing through a gateway in
the dark ran against a post. " I wish that
post was in the lower regions 1 ." was his
angry remark. " Better wish it was some
where else," said a bystander. "Fos
might run against it again." .
A BOSTON lawyer, badgering a. witness,
said sternly : "I believe,_.sir, you have
servcd a sentence in the State prison?"
"Yes,"_ was the unconcerned reply, "I
was in the State prison, and I had the
misfortune to occupy the cell your broth
er had." • - _
"I ZiEVER thought but once," said old
Deacon Webbing, "that it. was a sin to
steal an umbrella." "And when was)
that?" asked a friend. "It was when .
some pesky thief stole my new silk one,"
answered the deacon.
-A VERY diminutive specimen of a man
lately solicited the hand of a tine, buxom
girl. "Oh, no," said the fair; b ut insult
ing lady ; "I can't think of it k for a-mo.
meet. The fact is, John, you area little
too big for a cradle, and a little, too small
to go to church with."
. Tut' swinging beds' on the Sarmatian,
that kept the Princess Louise 'sick the
whole time she occupied them, were hung
from the ceilingslind balanced by a ,pen
dulum of nine hundred pounds weight, to
give regularity to the swing. A -roll of
the Ship would start - the 'pendulums and
no one would: know when they' would
stop. The inventor:is an American, and
he is understood to entertain evil designs
agaivat the effete monarchice of the, old
world.
Il