XK RMS UF PUBLICATION.
r IBTEB is published every Thursday Mor-
FB T V-N (JCWPKIOH, at $2 per annum, in ad
mtf' b - v E '
exceeding fifteen lines are
rted at TEN CENTS per line for first insertion,
'"TNVE CENTS per hne for subse<iuent insertions
Serial notices inserted before Marriages and
Deaths, will charged FIFTEEN CENT, per line for
each insertion All resolutions of Associations ;
Communications of limited or individual interest,
ami notices of Marriages and Deaths exceeding five
lines, are charged TEN CENTS p:-r line.
1 Year. 6 m"- mo.
one C01umn,............575 g 0
S' I tra?. I ''Caution! Lost and found, and oth
er advertisements, net exceeding 15 lines
threo weeks, or le s > XT '*• o nA
Vdmiuistrator's and Executor s Notices... 200
Ynditor's Notices.... 2 50
Business five lines, (per year) 5 00
Merchants and others, advertising their business
will he charged S2O. They will be entitled to 4
column, confined exclusively to their business, with
| privilege of change.
■(r Advertising in all cases exclusive of sub
sfript ion to the paper.
,ii ij: PRINTING of every kind in Plain andFan
,v coh rs, done with neatness and dispatch. Hand
bills, lllanks, Cards, Pamphlets, Ac., of every va
rltv and style, printed at the bhortest notice. The
KEI'OIITEB OFFICE has just been re-fitted with Power
presses, and every thing in the Printing line can
be executed in the most artistic manner and at the
lowest rates. TERMS INVARIABLY CASH.
SfoUAti l
THE BEAFTV OF OLD AGE,
I often think each tottering form,
That liuips along in life's decline,
Once bore a heart as young, as warm,
As full of idle thoughts as mine!
And each Las had its dreams of joy,
Its own unequalled, pure romance ;
Commencing when the blushing boy
First thrilled at lovely woman's glance.
And each could tell its tale of youth,
Would think its scenes of love evince
Mure passion, more unearthly truth
Than any tale before or since.
Yes ' they could tell of tender lays,
At midnight penned in classic shades,
I Of days more bright than modern days—
And maids more fair than modern maids.
1 if whispers in a willing ear ;
Of kisses on a blushing cheek ;
Each kiss, each whisper, far too dear
(>ur modern lips to give or speak.
()f passions too untimely crossed—
< >!' passions slighted or betrayed—
(if kindred spirits early lost,
And buds that blossomed but to fade.
Of beauteous eyes and tresses gay,
Elastic form and noble brow,
A . i forms that all have passed away,
An ! left them what we see them now.
And is it thus—is human love
s i . , ry light and frail a thing V
Ami n ist youth's brightest vision move
I itver on Time's restless wing?
.11 the eyes that still are bright,
And all the lips that talk of bliss.
And 11 the forms so fair to sight,
II rt after only come to this ?
1 hen what are all earth's treasures worth,
II we at length must lose them thus—
H It all we value most on earth
Ere long must fade away from us ?
THE PINK CALICO.
•Jtiliii," Hitid old Mr. Morton, taking off
nbis g>l.l-rimmed spectacles and putting
■ them nit tiiodically in their cases as he
(■sp.ke. "John, come into my study, I want !
:i Lav-• .1 talk with you."
' Tt.f tild gentleman said this with such
l.tiii u;r 1 importance that John Morton, al
;ir't nf a phlegmatic temperment, not easi
er astonished at anything, arose and fol
x- ! his father with no little surprise and
i :r: -ity upon his handsome features.
I| W hat on earth can the Governor have
a his mind?" he asked himself; " I hope
i . isn't going to fail or give me a step-
S .i ti. r, hut he looks solemn enough for
| UYthing."_
> -ieuiii indeed was the old gentleman's
c .ntriiiiice as he sat down opposite his
j • ! led his hands on the green cloth of
| between them and began :
Im, if I am not mistaken, the day af
-1 " ' >rrow is your thirtieth birth-day."
•"' it is, by Jove," said Johu, " I'd quite
|| hrg'itten it."
dour thirtieth birth-day," continued the
| gentleman, " and really when a man
1 to be thirty, it is my opiuion he
'Jght it least to begin to think about a
K I married your poor dear mother
n 1 was five and twenty, and felt none
| tou v 'Ung. And as my sous have grown
; iam glad to say they have generally
■ Imy example. lliram made a fine
! Bsatcli whea he married Miss Gower—and
' jugii Peter's wife was not such an heir
| si ris a good woman and a pretty one
I —and r.ot extravagant —and as for William
| 1' ui in't wish him a better partner than j
| girl he married last year. You are the
!l ' y bachelor of the four, and I must con- i
•ss 1 am extremely anxious to see you '
%■ aarried before I die—aud 1 am an old man,
lui, and can't live a great while."
" As to that, father, you'll live, I hope, to j
-e a hundred," said John. "But 1 will
|; 'ik about me, aud if 1 see the girl I fancy, !
•'I p>p the question. In fact, I've been j
: ing that these ten years, only the right j
■ person hasn't come along."
I see, 1 see," said the old gentleman !
with a sly chuckle, " you want a good wife
- a good, sensible girl, who knows how to
take care of her husband's home—eh ?"
Well, yes," said John with a yawn.
A handsome girl—with bright eyes—
and rosy cheeks with dimples in them—and
nice hair aud taper waist."
" \ou're quite a judge of beauty, 1 de
clare, father," said John. " Well, 1 should
want a pretty wife, that's certain."
A little wife with a little something of
I lf;r ow,1 > too,' said the old gentleman, "in
r ict , a " heiress. To sum up the whole—a
I sensible, affectionate beauty, with a for
; tune. That's your wife, John."
I f can find her, father," said Johu
| Morton. " But you see all the good things
I in the world are seldom given to one wo-
I man. The heiresses are often frights, and
| the beauties poor, while half the time one
I doesn't care to hear a pretty one speak or
| > t ok at a sensible one. And as for pru
o'-nce and economy, they are handed over
' > grandmothers, and affection is quite old
•ashioned. However, find me such a para
| - 'li as you describe to-day, and I'll lay my
I' a , u,1( l heart at her feet to-morrow."
Will you ?"
I by, course I will, sir"
' t AN ' ja ' you're a married man then,
1 1 louud her for you yesterday."
| "mo Morton's eyes opened wider than
■ 'azy wont with a.-touisliment.
| ho is she ?" he asked.
' She's a Miss Spice," said the old gen
: 'nan, ' Baxter Spice's daughter. I met
A tliere yesterday, and the moment I set
} eyes on her I said that's the wife for
E. O. GOODRICH, Publisher.
VOLUME XXVII.
my sou John. A beauty—aud such a nota
ble domestic little body—and every cent
old Spice calls his own will be hers some
day. 1 want you to go down and see her."
John laughed.
" Perhaps she's engaged to somebody
else," he said. " People seldom leave such
tempting fruit on the bough long—no doubt
she's appropriated."
" She's only eighteen !" said Mr. Morton,
" and—ahem ! 1 happen to know she's not
engaged. I had a talk with the old gen
tleman. He wants to see her married, but
she don't fancy any one. She has a notion
you see, that the young men are thinking
of her money, and declares she will die an
old maul. Between you and me, Spice ex
pects you down."
" And the young lady ?"
Oh ! she don't know a word about it,
not one, I assure you. You will go, won't
you ?"'
John yawned.
" I don't mind running down that way,"
he said, " but really I can't promise to ad
mire, you know."
" But you will without promising," said
the old gentleman. " You can't help it.
I've some business for you to make an ex
cuse of, a couple of horses old Spice wants
to sell, which are just thiug for you. And
he is a hospitable old fellow, who will
make you stay a week if you once get
there. Go up to-morrow and fall in love
with Miss Spice, you rascal."
Ihe rascal laughed. He bad his own
opinion about the probable beauty of Miss
Spice, knowing that a fortune is apt to
blind old eyes to many deficiencies, but
theie WHS A savor ol romance in lug search
for ;• wile that pleased him after all, and
he determined to enjoy it to the full
Consequently, on the following morning,
he started, with his valise well packed, his
dressing-case fitted up in exquisite style,
and a secret determination to flirt with
Miss Spice if she was in the least attrac
tive. As for any serious design of woo
ing and wedding, nothing was farther from
John Morton's thoughts.
\\ hen the train had screamed and whis
tled over the necessary number of miles,
it steeped according to custom, at the lit
tle depot of 1) , and there, with others,
the traveler alighted, amidst a whirl of
country dust, betook himself to that por
tion of the village wherein the residence of
the Spices must be located were his direc
tions right.
He found it, at last A rather preten
tious mansion, built on a rising ground,
with stone steps leading to the garden,
wherein a white fountain kept guard over
sundry geometrical beds of flowers. Ev
erything about it was trim aud neat, and
delightfully cool.
To one of John Morton's rather indolent
disposition the shady colonnade, and the
rural seals under the great elms behind the
house, had a woudrous charm. It would
be a glorious place to live in, he thought;
especially were one rich, aud able to for
get all tormenting business details, and
fortune-making, and other bores of the
kind, and lounge all day with a book and
a Havana under those trees. " I wonder
whether Miss Spice appreciates her resi
dence."
As he thought thus, John Morton coolly
sauntered, valise in hand, up the broad
gravel path, aud rapped in his own care
less fashion at tiio door. No one answered
the first time, and a second application on
ly brought out a white poodle with a pink
ribbon at his neck, who barked w-ith puny
fury at the stranger ; but on a third trial,
the door opeued suddenly, and there stood
before him a pretty girl in pink calico, with
a white apron on, and her sleeves pinned
up, exhibiting the plumpest arms in the
world, with dimples at the wrists and el
bows. In one hand she held a dusting
brush in the other a dust-pan, and keeping
both tidily away from her dress, she seem
ed to aw T ait for his inquiry. It came prompt
ly :
" Is Mr. Spice iu ?"
" Dear me, 110 sir," replied the girl. "The
family are all away—called very unexpec
tedly to se. a sick relative. But—l beg.
your pardon- are you Mr. Morton?"
" That's my name," said the young man
" Oh, in that case, Mr. Spice left word
that he was very sorry to go, and that if
you came you would oblige him by staj-ing
until his return. Martin, the coachman,
could show you the horses, he said, and we
were to make you comfortable."
" Will you walk in, sir ?"
John Morton hesitated a moment, and
then crossed the threshold. The girl push
ed open the parlor door and ushered him
iu.
" John shall show you to your room," she
said, " and I will have a lunch for you when
you come down, Mr. Morton. People gen
erally find an excellent appetite after a
journey."
And away she ran humming a tune, and
leaving John Morton to remember her
smiles and dimples and pleasant voice.
" If Miss Spice is not a very pretty girl,
she must be jealous of this little creature,"
he said to himself. " What eyes and snow
white teeth ! I wonder who she is ?"
An hour after, when fresh from his toilet
he took his place at the tempting lunch ta
ble, he had a chance to ask the question :
" Excuse me, he said, as he took a cup
of tea from her hand, " but what shall I
call you ?"
"Oh, I am only Hetty," said the girl.
" Hetty ?" 6
es, sir. I don't call myself a servant,
for they don't pay me any wages ; but the
, old gentleman and lady give me my board
and clothes, and I make myself generally
useful. lin quite one of the family. Do
i help yourself, Mr. Morton."
I hank you, Hetty and he took a
sandwich In a moment he began again :
, "Mr. Spice has a daughter hasn't he."
" Oh, yes. sir."
" Very handsome, I've heard ?"
' " Handsome !oh dear, no, not in the least
i handsome."
1 astes differ, Hetty."
I know it. But, really, Miss Spice is, I
should say, quite plain. Won't you have
' some more jatu, sir ?"
| " Not any, thank you. I presume Miss
Spice, being so amiable, is considered hand
some on that account."
" Amiable ! Oh, mercy !
" Why, is she not, Hetty ?"
" I shall not tell you, sir," said Hetty.
Its not my place to talk against Miss
Spice, but—amiable—ha ! ha !"
John Morton shrugged his shoulders and
TOWANDA, BRADFORD COUNTY, PA., NOVEMBER 22,1866.
looked at Hetty. Her eyes were bright,
and her cheeks dimpled with merriment.
Iu his admiration lie forgot the subject of
conversation, and from Miss Spice turned
to other subjects. Hetty on these grew
eloquent. She talked well, and had the
sweetest voice ever heard ; she told the
city stranger of the pretty country places
close at hand, of the brook where the trout
were found, and the soft green grass and
purple flags beside its margin ; of the high
hill whence such a view could be had ; of
the stoue church ninety years old where
they went every suuday ; and of her own
great love for all these things Aud as
John Morton listened he thought. " Tins
girl is above the sphere of dusters and
brooms and scrubbing brushes. She is as
much a lady as any in the land." Theu he
tried her on other things, and found she had
read a good deal, and that the books she
had chosen were not trash, aud without in
tending to do so, expressed his surprise.
The girl looked down demurely.
" You see I read Miss Spice's books," she
replied, " and I have picked up a good deal
that way."
And then, lunch being over, she left him
to pass the time as he chose, and to go with
Martin to the stables and admire the gard
en. But at mealtime she acted the part of
hostess, and after tea sat demurely at her
work on the porch for au hour or two.
That night the gentleman who came to
woo Miss Spice, the heiress, dreamt of Het
ty, who " made herself useful, for her
board and clothes."
Mr. Spice and family would not return
| for several days—so said Hetty—even if
the relative whose illness called tbem away
grew quickly better. Aud in that time |
there was nothing for John Morton to do
but to idle about the grounds, saunter into
the stables, aud get up a flirtation with
Hetty.
Demure and shy she seemed at times ; at
others merry and self-possessed. She was
a puzzle to him ; and, becoming interested 1
in her, he tried to " make her out." The j
result was another puzzle more difficult
than the first, but one fine morning John
Morton awoke to the knowledge that he ;
was in love. How it began he could not
tell. The girl was comely and pleasant to
look at, but not beautiful. Ho was proud
and this half-menial position would have
seemed ail insurmountable barrier between
himself and any woman. But the fact re
mained the same. He loved her. One '
bright hair of her head was worth all oth-:
er women put together to him The thought j
of parting from her was intolerable. He ;
could not, would not, turn away and say, j
" This love of mine is too humble for me." j
Yet what a position. He was there as an I
aspirant for the hand of the mistress, and,
ere she came, he had given his heart to the
maid.
For a few hours he had a mighty strug
gle with himself. Then he conquered and
lie sought Hetty. She was iu the garden
amongst the flowers.
Surely nothing, not even those sweet
roses, could be fairer or sweeter than the
girl. Her eyes were cast down. Her ta
per fingers busy with some frail plant beat
en down by the summer's shower. As he
came she looked up with a smile.
"My poor cypress vine is almost dead,"
she said ; " and this rain has done more
harm than good to the garden. I'm sorry, j
for the family will be home to-night. We
received a telegraph dispatch this morning I
to that effect."
Home to-night. John Morton had known
of course that they would come. He could
not have been wild enough to fancy that
Mr. Spice had deserted the villa for his
sake, and left his free to idle there and
make love to Hetty forever. Yet the revel
ation was a shock.
Home ! And Miss Spice, that ill-temper
ed, ugly heiress would be there,and Hetty's
place be in the background. Stay—woo
and win the lady and forget the girl. Not
he. He would transact his business with
Mr. Spice and ride away at once. But
something must be done before even this
could be accomplished. Something in
which Hetty was interested. He stooped
down and touched her shoulder with his
hand.
" Hetty," he said, " leave those flowers a
while and come and walk by the brook with
me. I have something to say to you. Don't
re fuse me. It is something serious, Hetty."
Hetty arose, tied on her garden hat, and
looked down at her flowers still. She would
not lift her eyes and he saw on their lashes
two tears. Those, and a smile about her
mouth, made a perfect April's day of her
face.
" You will walk with me, Hetty?" he
asked.
And for an answer she turned and took
her place beside him. So they sauntered
on down to the brook side, where the pur
ple flags grew amidst green sedge, and
deep in the clear water you could catch a
glimpse of shining trout. For a while both
kept silent ; then John Morton spoke sud
denly :
" Hetty, do you know I love you ?"
Hetty stood still ; her hand trembled in
his—her bosom rose and fell. In a moment
she began to sob.
Then John Morton's arm crept around
her waist.
"My darling," he said, " look at me—
speak to me. Tell me that you return my
feeling—tell me that you will one day be
my wife ?"
At that she pulled her hand away from
him.
"You came here to be Miss Spice's suit
or," 6he said ;" I know it—l heard it talk
ed over when I could not help listening.
Say those words to her—not to me."
"To her !" I hate her very name," said
John. " I love you, Hetty."
" A poor girl, almost a servant 1"
" Why should I care ? I love you, oh,
Hetty, I love you better than I love my life.
Hetty, answer me—will you be my wife ?
It needs but one little ' yes.' "
An odd convulsion, between laughter and
weeping, passed over her face. But she
commanded her voice and said slowly :
" You belong to Miss Spice."
Her words made John Morton flush scar
let.
" Miss Spice is nothing to me," he said.
" I've never seen her nor do I desire to see
her ; Hetty answer me."
Hetty turned quite away from him, and
in a sort of choaking voice replied ;
" This is the only answer I can give you:
If Miss Spice will not be your wife, I do
REGARDLESS OF DENUNCIATION FROM ANY QUARTER.
not know of any woman in the place who
[ will," and fairly ran away.
John Morton followed her, only a little
way however, for, coming to a spot where
the path took a turn, he spied her through
the bushes, sitting under a great tree,laugh
ing in the merriest manner. The sight
turned his heart to stone.
"The heartless jade," he muttered ; "and
for her I would have given up anything be
side iu the wide world. All woman are
alike. Rustic simplicity in pink calico dif
fers not whit form city airs and graces iu
morire antique. I'll go home. Miss Spice
may come or go, for all I care. Oh. Hetty,
Hetty !"
With these last words on his lips, John
Morton made his way to Spice Villa,mount
ed to his own room and proceeded at once
to pack his port manteau ; cramming his
wardrobe iu pell inell, and using no gentle
language towards the innocent, garments
which gwould bulge over and forbid the
fastening of the lock. .Just as the packiug
was completed there came a sudden racket
in the garden, a sound of wheels and mer
ry voices. And his attention attracted to
the window. There at the gate stood a lit
tle carriage, from which descended a stout
old lady and a stout old gentleman. Mr.
and Mrs. Spice returned without a doubt.
" Five minutes more I would have been
clear of the house. However I'll not stay
long and with this determination he de
scended to the hall, just in time to see Het
ty rush into the old gentleman's arms with
the exclamation, " Dear papa."
Out of them she came in a moment, turn
ing rosy red as Bhe murmured :
" Oh, papa, I quite forgot"-this is Mr.
Morton."
John Morton stood like one petrified, lie
1 hardly heard the old gentleman's apology
for his absence, or the old lady's welcome
1 he truth which was slowly dawning np
on him made him oblivion-, to all else, lie
I stared at Hetty, whose mischievous face
[ was dimpling and blushing iu the most be
witching way And slowly his lips formed
two words—they were—Miss Spice !"
" Eh 1" said the old gentleman ; " 1 real
ly didn't understand you."
" The gentleman wants an introduction,"
said Hetty. " Please till him that lam
Miss Spice, your daughter."
Then she burst into a peal of laughter
that made the old house ring, and brought
on her head a maternal repro if for being
" so wild before a stranger."
Poor John Morton believed himself a vic
tim of a dream.
But two hours alter he had recovered his
senses, and sitting- close by Hetty on the
porch in tho moonlight whispered :
" Hetty, do you think Miss Spice will say
yes ?"
Hetty answered, " I think she will."
After awhile she said -the old lady's ab
sence and the old gentleman's nap favoring
whispers :
" Never say I told you any stories. I
told you 1 made myself generally useful,
and that they gave ine my board and clothes
didn't I ?"
" Yes."
" Well, that is true."
" Ah I"
" So you fancied me a servant of your
own accord, sir. How could 1 help that ?"
" Oh, Hetty, Hetty ! But one story—nay,
two—you have told. You said Miss Spice
was ugly and cross- I know she is pretty
and an angel."
Then there was a sound suspiciously like
a kiss, and there were but thre on the porch,
and Mr. Spice was snoring so it could not
have been he.
One mouth after that there was a wed
ding, and Mr. John Morton was united to
Miss Spice ; and if all weddings where the
beginning ol years as happy as theirs have
been since then, is would be well for mar
ried folks the worlu wide over. Though
Mrs. Morton is a little mischievous, and
tells a story of a gentleman she knew who
traveled miles to woo and wed an heiress
and at the end fell in love with a girl in
pink calico.
THE BODY OF ROGER WILLIAMS ABSORB
ED BY THE ROOTS OF A TREE
The following curious and interesting
statement is from the pen of Rev. J. 11. Mc-
Carty, who is writting a series of articles
for the Ladies' Repository, on Roger Will
liams, the founder of the State of Rhode
Island :
Ninety years after his death, in 1771,
steps were taken to erext to him some suit
able monument,but the storms of the revol
ution came on arid the work was forgotten.
And recently the question has been agitated
anew, and Williams may yet at least, have
some outward sign to mark his greatness
and perpetuate his name. During a period
of one hundred and eighty three years not
even a rough stone has been setup to mark
the grave of the founder of Rhode Island,
till the precise locality of his grave had been
almost forgotten and could only be ascer
tained by the most careful investigation.—
Suffice it to say, however, the spot was
found a short time ago, though there was
little to exhume, on scraping off the turf
from the surface of the ground the dim out
lines of seven graves, contained within less
than one square rod, revealed the burial
ground of Roger Williams.
In colonial times each family buried near
their residence. Three of these seveu graves
were those of children ; the remaiuiug four
were adults. The easterly grave was iden
tified as that Mr. Williams. On digging
down into the 'charnel house,' it was found
that every being had passed into oblivion.
The shapes of the coffins could • nly be tra
ced by a black line of carbonaceous matter ;
the thickness of the edges of the sides of
the coffin could,with their ends, be distinct
ly defiued. The rusted remains of the hin
ges and nails, with a few fragments of
wood and a single rouud knot, was all that
could be gathered from his grave. In the
grave of his wife there was not a trace of
anything save a single lock of braided hair
which had survived the lapse of more than
one hundred and eighty years.
Near the grave stood a venerable apple
tree, when and by whom planted is not
known. This tree had sent two of its main
roots into the graves of Mr. and Mrs. Wil
liams. The larger root had pushed its way
through the earth till it reached the precise
spot occupied by the skull of Roger Wil
liams. I here making a turn, as if going
round the skull, it followed the direction of
the back-bone to the hips. Here it divided
into two branches, sending one along each
lug to the heel, where they both turned up
ward to the toes. One of these roots form
ed a slight crook at the knee, which made
the whole bear very close resembleuce to a
human form.
This singular root is preserved with great
care, not only as an illustration of a great
principle in vegetation,but for its great his
torical association. There were the graves,
emptied of every particle of human dust !
Nut a trace of anything was left ! It is
known to chemistry that all flesh, and the
gelatinous matter giving consistency to the
bones, are dissolved into carbonic acid gas,
water aud air, while the solid lime dust
usually remains. But in this case even the
phosphate of lime of the bones of both graves
was all gone ! There stood the guilty ap
ple tree, it was said at the time, caught in
the very act of 'robbing the grave.'
To explain'the phenomenon is not the de
sign of this article. Such an explanation
could be given. Aud many other similar
cases adduced. But this fact must be ad
mitted : the organic matter of Roger Wil
liams must have been transmitted into the
apple tree ; it had passed into the woody
fibre and was capab e of propelling a steam
engine ; it had bloomed in the apple blos
j sums, and had become pleasant to the eye ;
and more, it had gone into the fruit from
year to year, so that the question might be
asked, who ate Roger Williams ?
NASBY.
A CABINET MEETING—LETTEBS FBOM REV. HEXBY
WARD BEECUEB, GEN. CUSTAB, HENBY J. RAY
MOND AND HON. JOHN MOBRISSEY.
[From the Toledo Blade]
CONFEDKIT X ROADS, j
(wich iz in the St ait uv Kentucky,) V
November 7th, 18t>6. )
I wuz called to Washington by our pat
ron saint, the President, to comfort his
wounded sperrit. There aint no disguisin
the fact, the sperit of Androo Johnson is
wounded. He has endoored the stings
and arrers uv more outrajus fortune than
any other man who lies lived seuce the
days uv Hamlick—more, indeed, than Ham
lick endoored—twice over. Ilamlick's
father wuz pizoned, and his mother married
agin afore her mourn in clothes wuz wore
out, suthiu no savin, prudent woman would
do ; but what was that to what A. John
son endoors every day? Nothiu.
The cabinet rneetin to wich I wuz sum
moned wuz called for the purpose uv shed
din a tear or two over the election returns,
aud to considder a variety uv letters wich
His Eggscelieucy had received within a
few days I may remark that the cabinet
had a gloomy aud mildewed look.
The fust wuz from Rev. Henry Ward
Beecher. Mr. Beecher remarked that he
hed the highest possible respect for the
oilis wunst held by the good Washington,
the great Adams aud the sainted Linkin.
lie omitted rernarkin anything about Pierce
and Bookannan, out uv regard for the feel
ins of the present incumbent, wich, cf he
hed read history correct, wuz a ardent sup
porter uv the Administrations of both uv
them men, wich he considered stains upon
the pages uv Amercan history wich he
cood wish might be obliterated. But what
he desired to say wuz that he hed a higher
regard for the good opinion uv mankind in
general than iie hed for the good opinion
uv the accidental incumbent uv any offis,
and ez he hed, in an hour uv temporary
mental aberashen, wich hed happily passed,
endorsed the Administration, wich insan
ity hed worked evil unto him, he reques
ted ez a simple act uv justice that the
President shood cause it to be known that
he (Beecher) wuz not considered by the
Administration ez a supporter thereof.
"I do this," sed the writer, "becoz the
impression that I am in the confidence uv
yoor Eggsclency, wich is onfortnnatelv
abroad, hez seriously damaged my reputa
tion.
Trooly yours, et settery.
The readin of this letter wuz fullered by
a minit uv profound silence,wich was brok
en by the President.
"Let him pass," sed the grate man who
hez the dispensin uv post orifices, "let him
pass. But here is another," sed he, bustin
into tears, 'read that."
It wuz from Gen. Custar, him uv the
yaller hair, wich hed some reputation door
in the war as a cavalry commander. It
wuz to the same effect. He hed when he
spoused the policy uv the President, wich
he esteemed ez he must any man who held
the exalted position wunst occupied by
the good Washington, the grate Jefferson
aud the sainted Linkin—
"The ongrateful dog doesn't respect me,"
sed Androo, "it's the offis I fill," and he
burst into a fresh Hood.
When he sposed the President's poli
cy wuz sich ez a soldier and patriot cood
endorse, he endorsed it. But he diskivered
that it led him, back foremost, into com
pany wieh doorin the late war he hed alluz
visited face foremost and on horseback,
and therefore to save his reputation, he
must beg that the President wood give it
out that he (Gen. Custar) wuz not nor
never hed been a supporter uv his policy,
and oblige,
Yours trooly, ez before.
J. wuz too hart-broken at this to make
any reply, and Cowan and Doolittle wuz in
the same fix. The Kernelcy wich wuz giv
en to Custar to keep him in poieheu, hed
bin promised to a demokratic captin, who
wuz led by a company in the first Bull Run
fight, and who threw up in disgust the
next day, not liking the manuer in wich
the war wuz bein conducted, but now the
Kernelcy wuz gone and Custar too, and
wat wuz worse, there wuz no sich thing to
be thot uv ez dismissing him. The entire
company yoounited in minglin their teers.
The next letter wuz read by Seward ea
it wuz addressed to him. It wuz from
Raymond. He opened with the remark
that for the Presidential offis he hed the
highest respeck. Aside from the consider
ashen that it bed bin wunst okkepied by
the good Washington, the great Adams,
and the sainted Linkiu, the President mite
be considered the Father of his country,
hevin so large a number ot helpless chil
dreu to provide for, and besides he hed a
instinktive respeck for the dispenser of
anything. It was difficult for him, being a
open and simple minded man, not to ad
here to the President, but—
"Good Heavens !" shreeked Johnson,
that little fox aint a goin to speak uv HIS
reputashen ?"
"Dooty requires the reedin uv the entire
dockeyment, painful to my feelins ez it
0a per- Annum, in Advance.
I may be," sed Seward. 'He concloods
thusly
"I am forced to ask you ez one enjoyin
confidenshal relations with Him who oc
cupiez the Fresidenshcl chair, to hev it
given out that I stand in opposition to him.
A doo REGARD FOR MY REI-CTABHEN impels me
to this course." I remain,
Yoors trooly..
There wuz 2or three more. Gen. Carey,
uv Ohio, requested the President to move
him from his Collectorship, ez the holdin
uv it wuz injoorin his REPUTASHEN ; an edi
tor out West, who wuz sedoosed into takin
a Post Offis, begged to hev it taken off his
hands, that he might save his circulashen
before it wuz everlastingly too late : and
finally we cum to wun, the seal uv wich
wuz a coat uv arms, bull dog rampant,
bowie-knife couchant, supported by trottiu
horses, on a field uv green cloth. It wuz
from Hon John Morrissey, who bed just
been elected to Congress in Noo York.
Mr. Morrissey remarked, that ez one uv
the pillars uv the Democrasy, he felt he hed
a rite to speek. He wished it to be under
stood that he washed his hands uv any con
nection with Johnson or his party. He hed
seed a life. In States where the Democra
sy, uv which he wuz a piller, hed tied them
selves to Johnson, they hed gone down to
a prematoor grave. Pes peck for the high
offis restrained him from sayiu that the De
mocrasy coodent carry such a cussid load,
but he wood say that the result uv the
election in New York, where they dependid
solely on muscle and nigger, wich is the
reel Democratic capital, and succeeded,
while, where the Democrasy wuz loaded
dowu with Johusouiauißm, they failed, sat
isfied him that the President wuz a inkubus.
He said this with all doo respeck for the
offis. Mr. Morrissey further remarked that
he hed also personel reasons for making
this request. He commenced in a humble
position, aud hed filled the eye long enuff
to satisfy his modest ambishen—he hed
walloped Sullivan and Heenan—hed owned
the fastest horses and won more money at
faro than any man in Amerika. His ambish,
en wuz satisfied so fur ez he was concerned
but he hoped to leave behind him for his
infant son, (which wuz only twelve years
of age, and wich hed a development of in
telieck and muscle remarkable for one so
tender, hevin already walloped every boy
in the skool to wich he wuz a going,) he
desired to leave that son a honorable name.
It hed been given out that he wuz a sup
porter uv the individooal who okkupied the
Presidenshal offis, and it wuz iujoorin him.
He wished that stigma removed—a regard
for his repctasiien forced him to insist up
on it.
And this epistle was dooly signed,
his
John X Morissey, M. C.
mark.
There wuz silence in the Cabinet. This
last stroke intensified the gloom wich hed
settled onto the government, and ez I turn
ed my tear-bedewed eyes I saw the great
drops coarsin down the cheeks uv every
one present. Mr. Seward retired without
sayin anything about ninety days, and one
by one they all departed.
It was a solemn time. Ther wuz other
letters yet to be read, but no one hed the
heart to open 'em. I made a move in that
direckshuu, but Androo prevented me. "I'm
sick," murmured he in a husky voice, wich
showed that his heart wuz peerced—"Help
me to bed." I saw the great man bury his
intellectooal head beneath the snowy kivrin
ux his oneasy couch, all but the nose, wich
in hi in is the thermometer uv the sole, and
wich accordingly glowed,, not with the
yoosooal brilliant hue, but with a dull, dead
aud ghastly bloo. Noticiu the convulsive
heavins uv the kivers, wich betrayed the
agitashen uv the breast beneath, I whis
pered in his ear ez 1 handed him his uite
drink uv rye whisky flavored with bourbou,
that he hed one hold, ez Delaware had sus
tained him. A flush of satisfaction passed
over his nose, but it subsided in an instant.
" Troo," gasped he, " it's ouru now, but be
fore the uext election a couple uv them
Massachoosits abolishuists will buy the cus
sid State and re-people it to soot 'em, and
he gave a convulsive gasp and sank into a
troubled slumber.
It wuz a techiu occasion.
Pi.troi.ec m V. Nasby, P. M.,
(wich is Postmaster.)
JOSH BILUNOS ON MOSQUITOES. —Mr. Bil
ling's thus expresses himself 011 mosquitoes:
" We ere told that there want anything
made in vain. This is so, but I have tho't
the time spent in manufacturing musketoze
must have been wasted if the musketoze
want. How they were put together, I nev
er could tell ; and there was one commer
cial peculiarity about the muskeeter
trade, and that iz, the supply always ex
ceed the demand, and yet the production is
not diminished ; I kant understand this no
how. They are born of poor but industri
ous parents, and are brought up with great
care under the auspices of some uvour best
families. They have great impudence, and
don't hesitate to stick their frends with a
bad bill. They have also consummate cour
age. I have known a single muskeoter to
fight a man and his wife all nite long and
draw the first blood. It is very easy to kill
musketoze when you kan. But in striking
them you are apt to hit the exact plase
were they recently wuz. They are cheer
ful little cusses, singing as they toil."
ggk. A well-known missionary at an anni
versary said ; "My dear friends, let us
avoid sectarian bitterness. The inhabitants
of Hindustan, where I have been laboring
for many years,have a proverb that "though
you bathe a dog's tail in oil, and bind it in
splints, you cannot get the crook out of it."
Now, a man's sectarian bias is simply the
dog's tail,which connot be eradicated ; and
I hold that every one should be allowed to
wag his own peculiarity in peace.
"I bequeath," said an Irishmau, iu his
will, "to my beloved wife, all my property,
without reserve, and to my eldest son Pat
rick, one half the remainder, and to Den
nis, my youngest, the rest. If anything is
left it may go to Terrance McCarty."
THE editor who "did not mind his stops,"
introduced some verses thus : '' The poem pub
lished this week was composed by an esteemed
friend ./ho has lain in bis grave many years for
his own amusement.
SWISS FUNERAL CUSTOMS.
[From the Letters of Rev. Mr. Prime to the New
York Observer.]
Long before Abraham asked a burying
place to put his dead out of sight,the living
had their fuueral rite- and cermonies. And
it is wondeiful how widely they differ, ii
different parts of the world. There is doubt
less, a great difference in the customs of
the various Cantons of Switzerland, for
though the whole twenty-two of them would
not make a State larger than New Jersey,
they have a costume or dress peculiar to
each, and many of their habits are equally
singular. lam in the Canton of Appenzell,
in sight of Lake Constance, and by it sepa
rated from Germany. The language of tin
people is German, and their manners are
German more than French or Italiau, and
their customs are in a great degree like
those in the country over the lak>\ Their
funeral rites may be more or less common
in Switzerland, but I cannot say how far
they prevail.
In this rural and elevated region, (and
this morning as I walked out and looked
upon the hill and valley landscape, green
as green can be, and lighted with a glo
rious sun, I thought a lovelier picture could
not be seen in all this beautiful world,)
here, where it would seem that sorrow and
sickness and death would not come, they
die, as they die all the world over ; and
when they die, they must be buried out of
sight. Indeed, they die often here. It is
usual to have the funerals, if possible, on
the Sabbath ; more, I presume, to save
time thau from any other cause. It is so in
other Christian countries, our own a? well.
If the weather will permit, it is customary
here to defer the funeral until Sunday,even
if the person dies on Monday ; and thus it
often occurs that there are two or three on
the same day ; and sometimes more. In a
population of 3,000, ail belonging to one
church, the funerals beiug held in it, the
number is frequently more than one or two
at the same hour. The average number of
deaths is about ninety in a year. Last Sun
day there were three funerals here. The
friends of the several deceased meet in
front of the respective houses where the
dead were lying. None but the relatives
enter the house. The three funerals were
to be attended at the village church,and all
the same hour,as early as nine in the morn
ing. The body is placed in a plain deal
coffin, sometimes, but rarely, painted. And
the custom of the country forbids the rich
to have a coffin more elegant than the poor ;
the idea being that death abolishes all dis
tinctions, and a plain coffin is good enough
to be hid away in the ground. At the hour
the coffin with the dead is brought out of
the house, and on a bier is borne on the
shoulders of the nearest male relatives or
friends. One of these funerals was that of
an aged mother. She left eight sons and
two daughters ; six of the sons were grown
men, and they bore their mother on their
shoulders to the grave. The three proces
sions met near the church, and the three
coffins were then borne in the order of the
ages of the deceased, to the church, but not
into it. The body is never taken into the
church. But when the relatives and lriends
have entered, the body is carried by the
bearers immediately into the Gottesacker,
God's Acre; the graveyard, which usually
adjoins the church. It is there buried,while
none are present except those who do the
work. I Btood at a little distance while
this melancholy service was performed. It
was not pleasing to me,that the dead should
be thus put away unwept. And another
custom was equally unpleasant to me. The
graves are arranged in regular order, with
out any distinction of families, and as each
person in the place dies, he is buried in the
grave next to the one who was buried before
him. It may have been a neighbor with
whom he was at enmity, but now in death
they sleep side by side, and know it not.
Families are separated by the grave, as
well as by death, aud no two of them, uu
less they die together, may be laid togeth
er in the grave. This is surprising when
we notice the remarkable attention they
bestow on the Garden of the Dead. For
when the dead are buried, the friends come,
day after day, aud adorn the grave with
flowers, and surround it with u border
of green, and water it with their tears of
love.
While the body is thus cared for by the
bearers, the funeral service is proceeding
in the church. This is similar to the ser
vice in our own country, the prayers aud
selections of Scripture being read, aud a
sermon preached, the same discour&e an
swering, of course, for all who are buried
on the same day. At the funeral, all the
men in attendance wear a black mantle of
bombazine or serge, which they may get,
for a trifle, of the undertaker, who keeps
them for hire. Persons of property, have
them of their own, to wear only on funeral
occasious, but the most of the people hire
them when wanted, and thus every man at
the funeral appears as a mourner. All the
women dress in black when attending a fu
neral, and they never go to church in any
other than a black dress. This is a very
peculiar custom, but is invariably followed
by all the people of this country. Not a
light-colored dress appears in the great
congregation on the Sabbath day, or at a
funeral.
I cannot learn that anywhere in Switzer
land the German practice prevaiis of hav
ing a house for the dead to repose in, while
it is determined whether or not they are
yet alive. Such a place is prepared iu con
nection with the burying ground in macy
of the larger towns in Germany. In Mu
nich, the dead of the city are brought to
this house "prepared for all the dead," and
are arranged in ghastly tiers The brid ■
arrayed for the marriage altar, but who
died in the extacy of hope, still wears the
orange flowers on her stone-cold, marble
brow. The wasted form of one who wore
out eighty years of life and at last died of
old age, sleeps by the side of the young
bride, in the arms of deatn. Fifty are some
times seen at one time in this melancholy
hall of silence. Each one h.*s thimbles on
his or her fingers which are attached to a
wire that reaches a delicately hung bell.
The least pulsation vibrates along the wire,
and gives the alarm to an attendant,always
in waiting for the dead to come to life.—
But they do not come to life. Stories get
afloat in the community and arc handed
down by tradition, gathering horror as they
roll, but it is not probable that one in a
million is ever restored to life through the
aid of this life-saving arrangement. Indeed.
I asked the attendant at one ot them, who
had kindly showed me the apparatus, il he
had ever known or heard of any one being
found alive after being brought to this
chamber of discovery. He said unhesita
tingly, No. Tradition had reported a case
in another city, but he did not think there
was any well authenticated case of recov
ery from the grave by this 'twell meant,but
very useless practice. It would be well,
however,if there were greater caution exer
cised in burying the dead in all countries.
Some families hurry their dead into the
tomb. Many will hasten the fuueral to take
advantage of a Sunday. It is safe and pru
dent always to delay the burial, until na
ture herself gives undeniable evidence that
all hope of life is lost.
NUMBER 26.