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I 1- , T.v.rtisma ni all cases exclusive of sub- E ° ; j„n to the paper. ri.lN UNO of every kind in Plain andFan .lune with neatness and dispatch. Hand •;: • Cards, Pamphlets, Ac., of every va . i -nh-. printed at the shortest notice. Ihe .OfHcE Las just been re-fitted with Power .nit every thing in the Printing line can ■ i in the most artistic manner and at the TERMS INVARIABLY CASH. f ck.cM THOUGHTS OK HEAVEN. No sickness there, I , weary wasting of the frame away ; \ fearful shrinking from the midnight air— ,d of summer's bright and fervid ray ! No hidden grief, ..ild and cheerless vision of despair ; \ vain petition for a swift relief- - | : ailul eyes, no broken hearts are there. Care has no home thin the realm of ceaseless prayer and song, j billows break away and meet in foam, | r irom the mansions of the spirit throng ! The storm's black wing I never spread athwart celestial skies ! | Mailings blend not with tiie voice of spring, )(. some too tender flow 'ret fades and dies ! No night distils Liiling dews upon the tender frame ; v moon is needed there! The light which fills [La land of glory, from its maker came! No parted friends ,r mournful recollections have to weep! Led of death enduring love attends i watch the coming of a pulseless sleep! No blasted flower N: withered bud celestial gardens know! N -c rolling blast or fierce descending shower Scatters destruction like a ruthless foe! No battle word M.aths tb. sacred host with fear and dread! i:. s,.ng of peace Creation's morning heard, -niig wherever augel minstrels tread! Let ns depart, like this awaits the weary soul! 3 kup thou stricken one! Thy wounded heart - ij i.i Ino more at sorrow's stern control. With faith our guide, j : robed and inuocent to lead the way, : to plunge in Jordan's rolling tide, j ,fn 1 the ocean of eternal day? pisicdlmwoiis, BURGOYNE'S SURRENDER ;u the advance sheets of the Ninth volume j . ft's History of the United States, publish !.llll •■. Brown it Co., Boston.) j r the battle of the nineteenth of I • '•.ml .1- the condition of Burgoyne rap jrew more perplexing. The Anieri r ike down the bridges which be had in his rear, and so swarmed in the ' IS that he could gain no just idea of situation, llis foraging parties and j -meed posts were harrassod ; horses ] . wT: iu and weak ; the hospital was ui • IVL with at least eight hundred sick 1 W 'UIIDED men. One third part of the - ration was retrenched. While the army declined in number, Gates was -Bll.tly re-enforced. ON the twenty ! Lincoln arrived, and took command ■ right wing ; he was followed by I: nsaud militia. The Indians melted and provisions for three days at the yof the Americans. Keidesel advised ■-wift retreat to Fort Edward; but Bur •'lE still continued to wait for a eo oper army front below. On the seventh t greed to make a great reconnoisance, ii tiie Americans could uot be attack would think of a retreat. At eleven k on the morning of that day, seven brigade, followed by the New York 'I T under Ten Broeek, unmoved by the " li-dirocted and well-served grape-shot ; A two twelve-pounders and four sixes •relied on to engage Acklaud's grena "!S; while the men of Morgan were seen ■■•• "g a circuit, to roach the Hank and ' the British right, upon which the '•can light infantry under Derborn de ' ECED impetuously from superior grouud. E. (>. GOODRICH, Publisher. VOLUME XXVII. In danger of being surrounded, Burgoyne ordered Eraser with the light infantry 'and part of the twenty-fourth regiment to form a second line in the rear, so as to secure the retreat of the army. While executing this order, Eraser received a ball from a sharp-shooter, and, fatally wounded, was led back to the camp. Just then, withiu twenty minutes from the beginning of the action, the British grenadiers, suffering from the sharp fire of musketry in front and flank, wavered and lied, leaving Major Ackland, their commander severely wound ed. These movements exposed the Bruns wickers on both flanks, and one regiment broke, turned and fled. It rallied, but only to retreat in less disorder driven by the Americans. Sir Francis Clark, Burgoyne's first aid, sent to the rescue of the artillery, was mortally wounded before he could de liver his message ; and the Americans took all the eight pieces. In the face of the hot pursuit, no second line could be formed, Burgoyne exposed himself fearless ly ; a shot passed through his hat, and an other tore his waistcoat ; but he was com pelled to give the word of command for li to retreat to the camp of Eraser, which lay to the right of head-quarters, Burgoyne as he entered showed alarm by crying out : "You must defend the post till the very last man !" The Americans pursued with fury, and,unwisely directed by Arnold, who had ridden upon the field as an unattended volunteer, without orders, without any command, with ut a staff, and beside him self yet carrying some authority as the highest officer present in the action, they made an onset on the strongest part of the British line, and despite an abattis and other obstructions, despite musketry- I fire and grape-shot, continued it for more ! than an hour, though in vain. Meantime the brigade of Learned made a circuit and assaulted the quarters of the regiment of Breymann which flanked the extreme right of the British camp, and was connected with Eraser's quarters by two stockade re doubts, defended by Canadian companies. These intermediate redoybts were stormed by a Massachusetts regiment headed by I John Brooks, afterwards Governor of that State, and were carried with little loss.— Arnold, who had joined a group in this last assault, lost his horse and was himself bad ly wounded within the works. The regi ment of Breymann was now exposed in j front and rear. Its colonel, fighting gal- 1 lantly, was mortally wounded ; some of ! his troops lied ; and the rest, about two I hundred in number, surrendered. Colonel j Speth, who led up a small body of Ger- j mans to his support, was taken prisoner, j The position of Breymann was the key to j Burgoyne's camp; but the directions for ; its recovery could not beexeeuted. Night i set in, and darkness ended the battle. During all the tight, neither Gates nor j Lincoln appeared on the field. In his re- | port of the action, Gates named Arnold j with Morgan and Dearborn ; and Congress | paid a tribute to Arnold's courage by giv-! ing him the rank which he had claimed.— j The actioa was the battle of the husband- ■ men ; and on this decisive day, men of the j valley of Virginia, of New York and of j New England, fought together with one spirit for a common cause. At ten o'clock in the night, Burgoyne gave orders to re treat ; but as he took with him his woun ded, artillery, and baggage, at day-break he had only transferred his camp to the heights above the hospital. Light dawned, to show to his army the hopelessness of their position. They were greatly outnum bered, their cattle starving, their hospitals i cumbered with sick, wounded, and dying ; j and their general, whose courage in battle j could not be excelled, wanted strength of judgement. All persons sorrowed over Eraser, so i much love had he inspired. He questioned ; the surgeon eagerly as to his wound, and j when he found that he must go from wife J and children, that fame and promotion and j life were gliding from before iiis eyes, he | cried out iu his agony : "Damned ambi- j tioii 1" At sunset of the eighth, as hi- body, attended by the officers of his family, was borne by soldiers of his corps to the great redoubt above the Hudson, where he had asked to be buried, the three major gene rals, Burgoyne, Phillips and Riedesel, and none beside, joined the train ; and amidst the ceaseless booming of the American ar tillery, the order for the burial ol the dead was strictly observed in the twilight over his grave. Never more shall he chase the red deer through the heather of Slralh Er rick, or guide the skiil* across the fathom less lake of central Scotland, or muse over the ruin of the Stuarts on the moor of Drum-mossie, or dream of glory beside tin crystal waters ol the Ness. Death in itself is not terrible ; but he came to America for selfish advancement, and though brave ly true as a soldier, he died unconsoled. In the following night, Burgoyne, aban doning the wounded and sick in his hospi tal, continued his retreat ; but as he was still clogged with his artillery and bag ( gage, tiie night beiug dark, the narrow road worsened by rain, they made halt two ; miles short of Saratoga. In tiie night be- I fore the tenth, the British Army, finding the passage ol the Hudson too strongly guard ed by the Americans, forded the Eishkill, and in a very bad position at Saratoga made their last encampment. On the tenth Burgoyne sent out a party to reconnoitre the road on the west of the Hudson ; but Stark, who after the battle of Bennington had been received at home as a conqueror, had returned with more than two thousand men of New Hampshire, and held the river at Fort Edward. At daybreak of the eleventh, an Ameri ca! brigade, favored by a tiiick fog, broke up the British posts at the mouth of the Eishkill, and captured all their boats and all their provisions, except a short allow ance for five days. On the twelfth the British Army was completely invested, mn was there a spot in their camp which was not exposed to cannon or rifle shot. On the thirteen, Burgoyne, for the first time, called the commanders of corps to council; and they were unanimous for treating on i honorable terms. Had Gates been firm, they would have surrendered as prisoners of war. Burgoyne's counter proposals stipulated for a passage for the army from the port of Boston to Great Britain, upon condition of not serving again iu North America during the war. Frightened by the expedition of A'aughau, Gates consent ed to the modification, and on the seven teenth the convention was signed. A body of Americans marched to the tune of Yan- TOWANDA, BRADFORD COUNTY, PA., OCTOBER 25,18(56. kee Doodle into the lines of the British, while they marched out and laid down their arms with none of the American soldiery to witness the spectacle. Bread was then served to them, for they had none left, nor flour. Their number, including officers, was five thousand seven hundred and ninety-one ; there were besides eighteen hundred and fifty-six prisoners of war, including the sick and wounded, abandoned to the Amer icans. Ol deserters there were three hun dred ; so that including the killed, prison ers, and disabled at Hubbardton, Fort Ann, Bennington, Orisca, the outposts of Ticon dcroga, and round Saratoga, the total loss of the British in this northern campaign was not far from ten thousand, counting officers as well as rank and file. The Americans acquired forty-two pieces of the best brass ordnance then known, beside large munitions of war,and more than forty six hundred muskets. The cause of the great result was the courage and the determined love of free dom of the American people. So many of the rank and file were freeholders' sons, that they gave a character to the whole army. The negroes, of whom there were many in every regiment, served in the same companies with them, shared their mess, and partook of their spirit. In the want of a commander of superior ability, next to the generous care of Washington in detaching for the support of that quar ter troops destined against Howe, victory was due to the enthusiasm of the soldiers. When the generals who should have direct ed them remained in camp, their common zeal created a harmonious correspondence of movement, and baffied the high officers and veterans opposed to them. The public interests imperatively de manded that Gates should send the best part ol his continental troops as swiftly as possible to support the contest against Howe. That he understood this to be his duty appears from the letter to Washing ton in which he had excused his refusal to return the corps of Morgan by holding out the fairest prospects of being able to send large re-enforcements. His conduct now will test his character as a general and a patriot. THE ARCHANGEL'S TRUMP.—A good story in Paris is told at the expense of a very handsome and rich widow of most exempla ry character, who has a small and elegant retreat at Versailles, in addition to her town residence. At this pretty rurality she was passing a week at the close of the Au tumn, having for her guest a lad in his teens, who was a distant relative, and who was thus passing his vacation from school. Madam's housekeeper and cook was a re spectable female, who, however, had an ad mirer, a trumpeter, stationed in the bar racks near by, and the stolen pleasure of whom was to come in and dine stealthily on the remaining dishes of the mistress's luxuriant table. Madam and her boy relative having started after dinner for a walk, the trump eter took advantage of the absence, hut unluckily prolonged his meal a few min utes too long. In his hurry to conceal him self when taken by surprise, he became en sconced under the bed of the lady of the house, thinking to escape while she passed the evening in her drawing-room as usual. Madam was tired with her walk, however, and proceeded to retire fur the night imme diately on her return. The trumpeter, in full uniform, with his brazen instrument beside him,was of course in a position of considerable dismay. As he lay racking his brain, the door suddenly opened, and in walked the schoolboy, who, to the astonishment of the lady, fell upon his knees, and made a tumultuous declara tion of love! "In the name of heaven," cried the as tonished object of his passion, " rise and leave the room immediately ! What would be thought of me if you were to be seen in this indiscreet situation and posture ! Rise this moment and retire !" " No !" firmly persisted the academical, "I live but to love you! No power on earth shall tear me from this spot—no—no —not even if the trump of the last day—" At this moment the trumpeter, whose lips were at the edge of his instrument, blew a blast, into which he poured the overwhelming torrent of his previous impa tience. " Trrrrr—la la ta la ta " —a thunder blast, at which the walls of the little cot tage trembled to their foundation. The room was vacated by dame and lov er in a trice, and the trumpeter made his escape ; but the story got wind, and, with out name • r place, was told all over I'aris. It was being narrated one evening by a gay man, in a small circle, when the narra tor remarked : " 1 would have given anything in the world to have seen the face of the lady at the moment of the trumpet's sounding." "The face of the boy on his knees was much better worth seeing, I assure you !" exclaimed in a tone of pique, a lady among the listeners—ungviardingly revealing, by this hasty comment, that she was, herself, the heroine of the story ! A NEW EPIDEMIC. —The Hartford (Conn.) Times gives the following particulars of a new and terrible epidemic which has brok en out ir. that locality, and threatens to spread to other cities. Attention is called to it that young people may be prepared, as its most numerous victims are taken from their ranks. The Times says : The ( cholera fever has about subsided, with the i advent of cooler weather ; and as the ther | mometer indicates a nearer approach of : winter a new epidemic starts up, which ' promises to reach all classes of the commu ; uity before Christmas and New Year. It : commenced in good earnest this week.— J There is nothing fatal about it, if good care j is taken by the parties affiicted ; yet a dis | ease will sometimes assume a troublsome I phase when it is least expected. This epi demic is styled by the Doctors (of Divinity) i a rage for matrimony ; fee $5, or $lO, more, j according to the patient, with a prospect of further outlay in case of an emergency. | The first symptoms are palpitation ; then I contortion of the facial muscles into a | sweet smiie and rush of blood to the head ; i then congestion of the brain and an itch ing for scribbling epistles delightfully con fused with adjectives ; then unseasonable ; hours and sleepless niglts ; and then vari | ous things too numerous to mention, and I finally visions of embroidery and the cra dle season. REGARDLESS OF DENUNCIATION FROM ANY QUARTER. ELEPHANT LIFE IN SOUTH AFRICA. j Commencing with the hugest specimen | of natures handiwork, the elephant, we | have generally found two curious points i overlooked or ignored by writers. One is : the rapid and noiseless movements of this animal in the thichest cover ; the other, his | capabilities of passing over ground for him apparently unfeasible. The mastic noise ! less footfall of the elephant has been fre ; quently referred to by writers on Indian | subjects, and has been rightly asserted to ! be the most agreeable feature in journey | ing on elephant back. This peculiarity may be easily explained by an examination of the structure of the auimai's foot; but the silent, stealthy way in which lje will pass through the densest thicket, literally "slipping a wag,'' when his acute souses of smell or hearing warn him of danger, has been generally overlooked, and appears to us somewhat difficult of explanation Let any one unskilled in the mysteries of "bush ra iging," attempt to move even for a few paces in an ordinary fox-covert without noise, and he will form some idea of the difficulties presented to the passage of so huge an animal as the elephant through the dense tangled undergrowth of a South African "bush." Yet that that animal,des pite his enormous bulk, will "draw off," when within a few yards of his pursuer, without the slightest noise, and with the greatest rapidity, even in the thickest cover, is undeniable. We may, however, remark that this faculty, or by whatever other term it may be described, is not pe culiar to the elephant alone, for it has been observed to a marked extent in the moose or cariboo of North America. Again, his powers of passing over difficult ground arc often underrated even by hunters. When experiments were first made in India in training elephants to draw the guns, it was observed with surprise that the animal's powers (>f ascending steep and rugged ground were far greater than had been an ticipated The gun, a light six-pounder, with which the trial was first made, was drawn up a slope so steep as to require the animal to crawl upon its four knees, with out hesitation. On the other hand, ham pered by the gun and harness, the elephant (a small female) showed unusual dread of soft and swampy ground. In Africa, marshes do not seem to possess the same terror for these animals in their wild state; lor if they effer tempting pools, however uncertain the footing may be, the elephants appear to find a track across them. In the river-courses, too, deepened as they are by the torrents of the rainy season many yards below the surface of the surround ing country, and having banks nearly per pendicular, small shady pools close shelter ed from the sun's rays often remain in the hot season when the rest of the stream has disappeared, and to these, should uo other way be open, may be found tracks of the animals, leaving no doubt they had reached the coveted water by slipping down on their posteriors. In what position the hin der legs are placed during this operation we cannot tell, but the "spoor" leaves no • oubt of its having been repeatedly adopt ed in places apparently inaccessible. The elephants generally remain in the thickest part of tin.- forest during day, making for the water, to which they often go long dis tances, shortly before midnight,and return ing to cover some hours before dawn. We may here remark that, although these ani mals, owing no doubt to their acute sense of hearing and of scent, have never been surprised in a recumbent positioou ; there is ample proof that the bulls, at any rate, usually rest lying on their sides. The late Mr. Gordon Cumming was, we believe, the first to note this fact, which we can our selves confirm. He remarked that the sides of the enormous ant-heaps, so com mon in this region, were apparently pre ferred, and that the ground was often dis tinctly marked with the impression of the uuder-tusk as well as of the animal's body. The influence of the paticular tract of coun try in which they are found upon these ani mals, and the inlluence which they, in their turn, like all other living creatures, exer cise on their habitat, should not escape a short notice. On the borders of the (Jape Colony and Natal,wo find the few elephants that remain large in size, but with compar atively small tusks of inferior ivory. As we approach the equator, although food is more plentiful, we find the animals smaller in size,having far larger tusks, the latter, too, being of an ivory far superior in hard ness and closeness of grain. Indeed, al though naturalists have not recognized more than one species of the African ele phant, the varieties of ivory exported from the north, west, south-east coast, and the Cape, have each marked differences of quality by which they are easily recogniz able. The animals in turn, however, like wise affect the economy of the country they inhabit. The damage done even by a single elephant in a very short time to a patch of cultivated ground is truly fright ful, and, having been once seen, would lead one to imagine.that when these animals are herded together in vast troops such as the one seen by Dr. Livingstone on the banks of the Zambesi, consisting of over eight hundred, covering an extent of two miles of country, their course would be marked by utter desolation. The havoc thus caused is net, however, perceptible, a fact which that observant traveller has attributed, no doubt rightly, to the care shown by the el ephants in the selection of their food—a point, as he justly remarks, often overlook ed in estimating the quantity of food re quiied by the larger animals. Again, all these animals, rhinoceri and hippopotami, included, are, as M. Krapf observed, the true pioneers, "the real pathmakers of the tropical forest, which, without their tracks, would be often utterly impenetrable to man." Fuither, these paths, leading, as they most frequently do, to water, are of ten the only open channels for the surface flow of the heavy rainfalls, and thus ma terially contribute to the continuance of the water supply of the district, to the very existence of which they owe their for mation. While the elephant does not thus destroy vegetation which would ruiu the shelter which appears indispensable to him, on the other hand he directly assists the production of new growth by his habit of searching for the many succulent bulbs to be found below the surface of the soil in every open space.— Mr. H. Chichester in the Intelectual Observer for August. NEVER chase a bullet that has gone by you. MONEY MAKES_THE MARE GO. The Rev. J. P. Hunt, the temperance lec turer, tells the following story : A small temperance society had been started in a commnnity very much under tbe control of a rich distiller, commonly called " Bill Meyers." This man had seve ral sons who had become drunkards on the facilities afforded by their education at home. The whole family was arrayed against the movement, and threatened to break up any meeting called to promote the object. Learning this, Mr. Hunt went to a neighboring district for temperance volunteers for that particular occasion. He then gave out word for a meeting, and at the same time found his friends and ene mies about equal in numbers. This fact prevented any outbreak, but could not pre vent noise. Mr. Hunt mounted his platform, and by a few sharp anecdotes and witty sayings soon silenced all noise except the sturdy " Billy Meyers,"—the old Dutchman crying out, " Mishter Hunt, money makes the mgre go." To every shot which seemed ready to demolish him, the old fellow pre sented the one shield, " Mishter Hunt, mon ey makes the mare go." At last Mr. Hunt stopped and addressed the imperturbable German : "Look here, Bill Meyers, you say that money makes the mare go, do you ?" " Yes, dat ish just what I say, Mishter Hunt." " Well, Bill Meyers, you own and work a distillery, uou't you ?" inquired Mr. Hunt. " Dot ish none of your business, Mishter Hunt. But, den, Ish not ashamed of it. I has got a still, and work it too." " And you say, ' Money makes the mare go ;' do you mean that I have come here to get the money of these people ?" "Yes, Mishter Hunt, dat ish just what I mean." " Very well ; you work a distillery to make money, and I lecture on temperance to make money, and as you say, 'Money makes the mare go,' Bill Meyers, bring out your mare, and I'll bring out mine, and we'll show them together." By this time the whole assembly was in a titter of delight ; and even Meyer's fol lowers could not repress their merriment at the evident embarrassment of their ora cle. In the meantime, we must premise that Mr. Hunt kuew a large number of the drunkards present, and among them the sou of Meyers himself. " Bill Meyers, who is that holding him self up by that tree?" inquired Mr. Hunt, pointing to a young man so drunk that he could not stand alone. The old man started, as if stung by an adder, but was obliged to reply : —" Dat ish my son ; but what of dat, Mishter Hunt ?" " Good deal of that, Bill Meyers ; for 1 guess that son has been riding your mare and got thrown too!" Here there was a perfect roar from all parts of the assembly, and as soon as order was restoied, Mr. Hunt proceeded as be pointed to another son : " Bill Meyers, who is that staggering about as if his legs were as weak as pota to vines after frost ?" " Well, I suppose dat ish my sou, too," replied the old mau, with a crest-fallen look. " II" has been riding your mare, too, and got a tumble." At this point the old man put up both hands in a most imploring manner and ex claimed " Now, Mishter Hunt, if you won't say any more, I will be still." This announcement was received with a roar of laughter, and from that moment Mr. Hunt had all the ground to himself. A WONDEIJCL DREAM, AND A N ARROW ES CAI'E FROM DESTRUCTION.— The Dayton Journ al is responsible for the following : " Mr. Robertson, Mail Agent on the A. AG. W. road, between this city and Cleveland, re lated to us, yesterday, the strange item about a farmer who prevented a terrible disasb 1 n the road near Mansfield, 0., at the time of tiie recent great freghet. We had before seen a paragraph relating to the singular affair. Air. li. conversed with the farmer, anil here is the story, in short : •The farmer (a Pennsylvanian) went to bed during the heavy and protracted storm Monday night, and dreaming that the fill across a chasm, some hundred feet deep had given away under a passenger train, and let it down into tiro abyss, he sprang up from his bed as it to render assistance to the passengers, ran to the door, and was hastening from the house, when his wife awakened him. He related his dream, and went to bed again but slept little more du ring the night. The dream made such a deep impression on his mind that he hast ened to the chasm next morning early to see what condition it was in ; hut. the road was apparently all right, although the wa ter was pouring and surging through the large culvert beneath as though it would wash the earth away. Tuesday night the farmer could not rest for thinking about his dream of tiie preceding night, and get ting up he procured his lantern and hurried off to the chasm. When he arrived there he found to his terror that the huge fill had bet n washed out, leaving nothing but the unsupported ties aud track over (lie chasm. Hearing the train thundering towards des truction, the farmer clambered across the dreadful break and running down the road some distance, he signalled the approach ing train t<> stop. And so short was the 1 time that by tbe time the engineer was able to hold up, the engine was but a few feet from the chasm. " The train was large, and was filled with persons who had been to the great Union meeting at Mansfield. What a nar row escape they all made from a horrible death. For the train would have plunged ' down the frightful precipice, car upon car, crushing all to death in the ruins. The i passengers at once evinced their gratitude to their preserver, the Pennsyivanian, by making him up a handsome sum of money." Stir Speaking of " filters " reminds us of a story of a certain famous Massachusetts judge. Once upon a time, as he rode up to the door of a country inn, he saw the land lady's daughter jump over the fence. "Do that again Sally, and I'll marry you," he said. The girl again leaped the fence. The judge was as good as his word, and a year from that day married the light-heeled Sally.— He was doubtless a good judge of aukles. pei* Annum, in Advance GEOLOGICAL SPECULATIONS. Prof. Agassis, ia the Atlantic Jlontiily, comes to tiie conclusion that the continent of North America was at oue time covered with ice a mile in thickness. The proof is that the source of the Allegheny range of moutains is glacier worn 011 tiie very top, except a few points which are above the level of the icy mass. Mount Washington, for instance, is over six thousand feet high, and the rough, unpolished surface of its summits, just below the level at which gla cier marks come to an end, teils us that it lifted its head alone above the desolate waste of ice and snow. In that region, then, the thickness of the sheet cannot have been much less than six thousand feet, and this is in keeping with the same kind of evi dence in other pails of the country ; for, wherever the mountains are be low six thousand feet, the ice seems to have passed directly over them, while tiie few peaks ! rising above that height are left untouch- C L. . The glacier, he argues, was God's great plow, and when the ice vanished from the face of the laud, it left it prepared for the hand of the husbandman. The hard sur face of the rocks was ground to powder, ! the elements of the soil were mingled in fair proportions, granite was carried into the lime regions, lime was mingled with the more arid and unproductive regions, and a soil was prepared fit for the agricul tural uses of man. There are evidences all over the polar regions to show that at one period the heat of the tropics extended all over the globe. The ice period is supposed to be long subsequent to this, and next to the last before the advent of this earth. ACCIDENTAL INSURANCE.- -Between lveno sha and Milwaukie, an agent of the Trav eler's Insurance Company, of Hartford, entered the car, and having issued tickets several passengers, approached an eld erly lady, who, it afterwards appeared, was deaf. " Madam,would you like to insure against accidents ?" inquired the agent, at the same time exhibiting his tickets. " 1 got my ticket down at lvenoaha." " Not a railroad ticket, madam ; I want to know if vou would like to insure your life against accident." " I'm going to Oshkosh, to visit my darl ing darter, who's married up there and has just got a baby." The agent raised his voice a little. "Would you like to insure your life against accident ?" " She's been married two years arid a half, and that's the first child. It's a gal." " Agent, still louder : "I am au insurance agent, madam. Don't you want to insure your life against acci dents ?" " Siie got along first rate, and is doing as well as could be expected." Agent, at the top of liis voice : " I am au insurance agent, madam ; can't 1 insure you against accident ?" "O, 1 didn't understand you," said the old lady. " No, IT name is Johnson ;my name is Evans, and I live five miles from Kenosha." BAD BOOKS —Beware of bad books. They are traitors in the household. They are "the euemy" who snatches away the wheat, and sows tares in its stead. They are pois oned sweets, destroying the healthy appe tite. They have the semblance of knowl edge, but not the reality. They are blind guides that lead to the ditch. Are we known by the company we keep ? Our books are our company. In reading the works of an author, our minds come in direct contact with his mind. For good or for evil, we are under his most direct influ euce. It has been well said that we reilect the color of the rock upon which we lean ; and it is so. When Moses came down from the mount, after talking with (J d, how his face shone. Be jealous, then, of the books you read. Weigh them in the balances of the sanct uary, and if found wanting, discard them from a in your libraries, homes and hearts. A clergyman of New York once visited a State prison, where a young man, who had thrown away many advantages, was con fined for the crime of murder,and was there awaiting his trial. His shelves were lined with books. What kind of books were they —bibles, tracts, historiee,worms of science and true taste ? No ; corrupt novels, licen tious poetry, revealed the rock which had imparted its color to the criminal's life and character. Let the young avoid bad books as they would bad men and bad women. THE DOCTOR KNOW'D WHAT HE GIVE HIM. — During the war, ouo of those lovely ladies who devoted themselves to relieving the sufferings of the soldiers,was going through a ward of a crowded hospital. There she found two convalescent soldiers—sawing and hammering, making such a noise that she felt it necessary to interfere in her gen tle way. "Why," she said,"what is this? what arc you doing ?" "What we doiu' ? Makin' a coffin—that's what ?" "A coffin ? indeed, an 1 whom is it for ?" "Who for? that fellow over there ! pointing behind him. The lady 1 • ked and saw a man lying 011 his white bed, yet alive, who seemed to be watching what was being done. "Why," she said, "that man isn't d md. He is alive, and perhaps he won't die. You had better not go on." 4 Goon ! yes, yes, we shall. The doctor 1 he told us. He said, make the coffin ; aud 1 guess he know'd what lie giv' him. - ' How TO GET KNOWLEDGE. — This is the ques i tion. Get it the same way the chickens get | their food—pick it up a little at a time. The j gardner in digging takes up one spadeful at j a time. Tiic man sawing wood saws one ; stick at a time, and so the garden is dug, I the field ploughed, and the load of wood j sawed. They are done little by little, and I only a little at a time. And so must your lessons be mastered, j long lessons or hard lessons, a little at a | time. Do not pout or cry, or think it is of i no use to try, and play away your time ; but take heart when your book is before j you and by diligently learning a little at a time, the hardest lesson will soon become easy, and the longest lesson be finally cou- I quered. ; A capital plan this, young friends. — I Try it 1 ' NUMBER 22. SIGNING THE PLEDGE- Hev. John Abl'>ff, the sailor preacher re lates the followir. g story <4' one of his con verts to temri-ranc" : Afr. John* m, .1 'he (•'■<:<> !>t , cold water lec'nre, intimated that he must sign the pledge in his .wn way, which he did ill these words : "1, William Johnson, pledge rnys"lf to drink no more intoxicating drinks for one year." Some thought lie wouldn't stick three days, others allowed him a week, and a few others gave liim two weeks ; but the landlord knew him best and said he was good stuff, but at the end of a year BUI would be a good soaker. Before the year was quite gone, Mr. Johnson was asked by Mr. Abbott— "Bill, ain't you going to resume the pledge ?" " Well, I don't know, Jack, lint what I will ; I have done well so far. Will yon let me sign it again my own way ?" " Oh, yes, any way that you will not drink rum." lie writes : "I, William Johnson, sign this pledge for nine hundred and ninety-nine years, and if living at the end of that time, I intend to make out a lease for life." A day or two after, Johnson went to see his old landlord, who eyed him as a hawk does a chicken. " 0 landlord !" whined Bill, accompanied sundry contortions of the body, as if en during the most excruciating torment, " I have such a lump on my side." " That's because you have stopped drink ing ; you won't live two years longer at this rate." "If I commence drinking will the lump go away ?" " Yes. If you'll don't, youihave just such another lump on the other side." " Do you think so, landlord ?" " I know it; you'll have them on your arms, back, breast, and head ; you will be covered all over with lumps." " Well, may be I will," said Bill. " Come, Bill," said the landlord, " let's drink together," at the same time pouring the red stufl from the decanter into the glass, gug, gug, gug. " No," said Johnson, " I can't, for I've signed the pledge again." " You ain't though ! you are a fool 1" " Yes that old sailor coaxed so hard I could uot get off." " I wish the o'd rascal was* in Guinea. Well, how long do you go this time ?" " For nine hundred and ninety-nine years.' " You won't live a year." " Well, if I drink, are you sure the lump ou.mv side will go away ?" " Yes." " Well, I guess 1 won't drink ; here's the lump," continued Bill, holding up some thing- with .1 hundred dollars in it ; " and you say I'll have more 6uch lumps, and that is what I want." ITALIAN MARRIAGE BROKERS. —In Genoa there are regular marriage brokers, who have their pocket books filled with the names of the marriageble girls of the diff erent classes, with notes of their figures, personal attractions, fortunes and other circumstances. These brokers go about en deavoring to arrange connections in the same off-hand, mercantile manner which they would bring to bear upon a merchan dise transaction ; and when they succeed, they get a commission of two or three per cent, upon the portion, with such extras or bonuses as may be voluntarily bestowed, by tiie party. Marriage at Genoa is thus oftentimes simply a matter of business and calculation, generally settled by the pa rents or relations, who often draw up the contract before the parties have seen one another ; and if is only when • very thing else is arranged, and a few days previous to the nirrriage ceremony, that the future husband is introduced to bis partner for life. Should lie find fault with her manners or appearance, lie may annul the contract, 011 condition of defraying the brokerage, and any other expenses incurred. FUN, FACTS AND FACET IE. A RECRUIT, who was going through the sword exorcises, after having learned tie cuts, asked Low he had to parry the cuts of the enemy. The sergeant answered, " Never mind the parry ing ; only you cut, and let the other parry." THE New Ilaven Historical Society has 15 lie diet Arnold's account boot, and the sign of the store in which he did business, before the Rev olution. The inscription, on it reals, -'U. Arnold, druggist, bookseller, Ac., from Loudon : Sibi, tot iqua." A MAN exclaimed in a tavern, " I'll bet a sovereign I have got the hardest name in the com pany." "Done." said one of the company; •' what's your name?" "Stone," cried the first.— "Hand me the money," said the other, "my name is Harder." JONES, while lately engaged in splitting wood, struck a false blow, causing the stick to fly up. It strack him on the jaw and knocked out a front tooth. "Ah," said bill, meeting him soon after, •' you have had a dental operation per formed. 1 see"Yes," replied the sufferer, ".r --idental ONE evening the late Bishop of London was to have dined where Sydney Smith was a guest. Just before dinner a note arrived, saying that he was unable to keep his engagement, a dog having rushed out of the crowd and bitten him in the leg. When this note was read aloud to the company, Sydney Smith's comment vns, " 1 should like to hear the dog's account of die story.'' " OF what use are forms ?" exclaimed a petulant legislator to Dr. Franklin, "you can not deny that they are mere empty things," "Well, my friend, and so are barrels, but nevertheless, they have their uses," quietly replied the doctor. AN attorney named Else, rather diminu tive in his stature and not particularly respectable in his character, once met Jekyll. " Sir," said he, " I hear yon have called me a pettifogging scoun drel. Have you done so, sir:" "Sir," replied Jekyll, with a look of contempt, " I never saiu you were a pettifogger or a scoundrel, but I said you were liltle L'Lc." A WORTHY man was told that ho was about to die,said he was glad of it ; he was tired of putting his shoes and stockings ou and oil'. And this is about what life gets reduced to at about seventy. SMITH. " Brown's a regular wag, isn't he ? lie's fond of cracking his jokes?" ROBINSON. '• Yes, he cracks his jokes—that's the reason they're so bad." A GENTLEMAN was complaining that if cost him ten dollars every time he went to church, as ho only attended five times ay. ar and has pew tax was fifty dollars per annum. '-Why don't you go ofteuer," asked a religious broker, "and re duce the average ?" That was a poser. AN auti-liymenial punster says that the recriminations of married people resemble the sounds of the waves on the seashore—being the murmurs of the tied. A HUNGRY friend said at Brummel's table, after the beau had fallen in fortune, that nothing was better than cold beef. " I beg your pardon," returned Brunimel, "cold beef is better than nothing." MRS. JENKINS complained in the evening that the turkey she had eaten at Thanksgiving did not set well. "Probably," said Jenkins, "it was not a lien-turkey." M Y first is'what lies at the dour ; my sec ond is a kind of corn : my third is what nobody can do without, and my whole is one of the United States. Mat-ri-mony. A VERMONT teacher asked his primary class, what makes tho sea salt. A bright little ur chin replied : "Becauso it is full of codfish, sir." MOVEABLE FEASTS. —"Baked Tatura all Hot I"