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' ,- vdvc.rtismg in all cases exclusive of sub ,. ction to the paper. pgIN'TING of every kind in Plain and Fa n, done with neatness and dispatch. Hand- Bianks. Cards, Pamphlets, Ac., of every va ud style, printed ut the shortest notice. The rtl . OFUCE has just been re-fitted with Power i • s. and every thing in the Printing line can • tuted in the most artistic manner and at the 4rates. TERMS INVARIABLY CASH. Selected SOUND ASLEEP. S ,me arc laughing, some are weeping She is sleeping, only sleeping ; Bound her rest wild flowers are creeping ; There the wind is heaping, heaping, s-,v • test sweets of summer's keeping, l!v the cornfields ripe for reaping. There are lilies, and there are blushes The .i- . p'rose, and there the thrashes Sing till latest sunlight Hushes hi the West; a fresh wind brushes Through the leaves while evening hushes. There by day the lark is singing, j And the grass and weeds are springing ; There by night the bat is winging ; There forever w hnls are bringing Far oli' chimes of church bells ringing. | Night and morning, noon and even, Their sound fills her dreams with Heaven : The long strife at length is striven ; Till her grave bands shall be riven. Such is the good portion given To her soul at rest and shriven. Sale. AN ADVENTURE WITH A THUG. Not long ago a party of six gentlemen were assembled at a private table in one of the pleasantest hotels in Manchester.— Of this number 1 happened to be one, and the guest of the giver of the dinner. A pleasanter and more social gathering I never witnessed, and although we sat down t • the table at a little after six o'clock it was near midnight before we rose from it. W hen the cloth was removed and the wines were set on the real eujoyment of the evening began. Toasts, speeches, and - rit s followed each other in quick 6uc >.' .n, and with a brilliancy that I have rarely seen equaled. Aiming those present was General L rveteran, who had seen service in India nil his face was as bronzed as his hair '.w.< I leached white by the suns of that wiling sky. I was especially charmed with him. He was a frank, outspoken, g ial man, and at once gained both your ; -;> et and friendship. 1: was late in the evening, when some of iiiipany cailed on him for a story. A story ?" he said, with a smile. " I nn nst a poor hand, gentlemen, at story- Surely, General," remarked our host, live seen too much active service in L i-t not to have passed through some .linkable adventure." Oil. if that is what you want, I can g you. 1 have had some strange ad tm > in my life," said the General, .. th;ily. " Let me see. What shall Abe': >ippose I tell you ol my adven ture wiri, a Thug?" ;> ail means !" we exclaimed. A 'eiit ol mounted men, picked for their experience in the country, and at once -out tor my new command, being deter - '"Fed to use no half-way measures when I got th ( re . 1 pon reaching the neighborhood of Be ■' s we halted and encamped near the k ''j'PU-'s, about live miles froin the city. I •a i tw.j reasons fur doing this. One was, I * E. O. GOODRICH, Publisher. VOLUME XXVII. that 1 would be able by encamping there to move on the instant whenever occasion required it ; the other, that I would be freer there from observation by the spies of the Thugs than I would be in the city. I said nothing, and permitted my men to say nothing of the cause of our coming, but at once set my spies to work. As I have said, I resolved to attempt no half-way measures with the assassins, but to proceed against them with the utmost vigor, and to spare none that offered any resistance to me. In short, I was determined to capture or ex terminate them. Such as I captured were to be sent to Calcutta for trial, but it was my intention that these should be very few in number as I knew that stern measures on my part would do more to strike terror to the sect than a huudred civil trials aud executions. " Through the instrumentality of my spies 1 learned that my district was infested with a band of Thugs, quite large in number, and uuder the direction of a leader named Runjheet. He was described to me as the most active of all, and as one of the most dangerous men the country had ever known. I set to work at once. I scoured my dis trict right and left, by day aud night, and with good effect, too. " By the time I had been there six weeks I had sent ten prisoners to Calcutta with their families, had hung twenty caught iu the act of strangling their victims, and had destroyed one of their towns aud a temple. With my own hand I broke the image of their goddess Kali into a thousand pieces, knowing that this would be a severe blow to them. This act, together with the rest of my career there, came near being fatal to me. The Thugs began to consider me the cause as well as the means of their mis fortunes, and at length made me the object of their special vengeance. " When I had been in camp for about two months, my orderly informed me that there was a native waiting at the door of my tent to see me. I had him shown in at once. He was a small, spare man, of about thirty, and my first glance told me that he was possessed of more than ordi nary strength. There was something un usually quiet and stealthy about him, and at first I loosened my pistol and regarded him with a suspicious glance. He did not seem to notice this, but saluted me humbly aud respectfully. Iu reply to my demand to know his business, he stated that he wished to enter my service as a spy. He was well acquainted with the country, and was sure that he could make himself use ful. He gave as his reason that his father and brother had recently been murdered by the Thugs and that he desired to avenge them. I looked at the fellow searchiugly, but could gain nothing from his counten ance, which was fixed and devoid of ex pression, save a strange aud perplexing glitter iu his eyes. He told me his name was Ali, and that he was a Mohammedan. I said to him that if he would come back at the same hour the next day I would give him my answer. " After he left me I thought long and se riously of his request. I did not like his looks, but I thought he might be of ser vice to me. I felt confident that, if faith ful, he would make an excellent spy ; and I thought myself competent to the task of watching him so closely that he would have no opportunity to play inc false. So, after weighing the matter well in my own mind, 1 determined to engage him, but not to trust him until he should have been ful ly tried. " When I gave him my answer the next day I saw his eyes flash aud a smile play around his mouth. In an instant his face resumed its stolid expression. I was start led by this, and was more than ever re solved to watch the man closely. I gave him simple and easy tasks at first. He per formed them with so much skill and celeri ty that I began to place more confidence in him, and gave him more difficult and im portant duties to perform. Thus ten days passed away. At the end of that time I went out one day at the head of a small party to follow up a scent which Ali had discovered. Toward mid-day I chanced to be alone, having sent the men away on va rious errands. The heat was intense, and I dismounted from my horse and stood for a short while under a large tree to enjoy the shade which looked so tempting to me. I had been there scarcely ten minutes when a rustling in the leaves above me caused me to look up. I saw a dark figure leap toward me from the tree, and from the handkerchief, which he held ready in his hand, I knew he was a Thug and bent up on my assassination. He was so sudden and unexpected in his movements that he might have succeeded but for a timely in terposition. He bad hardly sprung from the tree when I heard the sharp report of a rifle, and the next instant the Thug fell crashing at my feet. I looked around in astonishment to discover whence came this timely aid, and saw Ali running toward rne at full speed,with his discharged rifle in his band. He asked me anxiously as he came up if 1 were safe, and seemed grati fied when 1 assured him that I was unhurt. He listened camly to my expression of thanks, and said he was glad to be able to show me that my suspicions of his fiedlity were unjust. " I could uot help blushing with mortifi catiou as he spoke, and I felt heartily ashamed of having suspected him at all. I told liim that he should have no occasion to feel hurt at my conduct again, as he had that day given me the best proof of his loyalty that I could desire. I could uot see his face as I spoke, for his eyes were bent on the ground, and his head lowered. "A week passed away after this and the success which had attended our efforts sud denly deserted us. I could not account for ] it. My movements were as secret and en ergetic as formerly, and I felt sure that; we had not yet damaged the Thugs to a sufficient extent to warrant our departure, but each day recorded new failures for us. Somehow I could not help connecting Ali with our want of success, though for the life of ine I could not tell why I should do so, and I did my best to banish the suspic ion as both ungenerous and unjust. "Toward the close of the week 1 sent out a party with a better prospect of sue-1 cess than had been vouchsafed to us during the past seven days. That night, leeling somewhat worn down by rny constant, ex ertions, 1 retired early without undressing. j "I could not have been sleeping very ! soundly, for I was awakened by a slight I rustling in rny tent. I endeavored to spring TOWANDA, BRADFORD COUNTY, PA., OCTOBER 18,1866. up,but in an instant I was seized by a pow erful hand, and a handkerchief, which is the instrument used by the Thugs in their work, was twisted around my neck. I man aged to thrust my left hand between the fold of the handkerchief and my throat, and thus prevented the scoundrel from strang ling me at once. By a powerful effort I succeeded in gaining my feet, but the fel low hung on to me with almost superhu man strength. I was counted then one of the most powerful men in the army, and I was much larger and heavier than my an tagonist, but it was just as much as I could do to keep him from mastering me. By the dim light of the moon which struggled in through the opening of the tent I recognized in my adversary rny native spy Ali. Like lightning it flashed across my mind that the whole affair was a plot. All had been sent to win my confidence and throw me oil* my guard. The shooting of the Thug a week back had been simply a part of the plot. 1 knew that I had a powerful and des perate man to deal with, and 1 nerved my self to the task before me. "The fellow's grip on the handkerchief was like that of a vice, and it seemed that lie would crush my left hand. The strain on my throat was terrible, and I felt that unless it was released very speedily I would be at his mercy. "A novel and desperate plan presented itself to rne in this emergency,and lat once proceeded to put it into execution. "Bracing myself for a mighty effort, I sank back slowly, as if being gradually overcome,and Ali with a triumphant glance tightened his grip on rny throat, and bent over me until his flashing eyes were just above uiy face. With a sudden bound 1 sprang forward, recovering myself and throwing Ali backward. At the same in stant I spit, with true aim, a mouthful of tobacco-juice straight into his eyes Thor oughly astounded aud thrown off his guard he relinquished his hold on the handkerchief and with a yell of pain clapped his hands to his eyes. This was just what I had ex pected,and iu another instant I put him out of the way of doing more harm by sending a pistol-bullet through his head. "The uext morning the expedition I had sent out returned, bringing two prisoners with them. From these 1 learned that my would-be assassins was no other than the notorious chief of the Thugs, Ruujheet, who ' had sworn to take my life in revenge for the damage I had inflicted upon his sect. " In a month more I returned to Calcut- ! ta, having thoroughly accomplished the : work assigned me." CASTING OCT DEVILS. —We have a friend, a Methodist preacher, and a jolly fellow he j is. He has a large muscular frame, with corpulence to correspond ; lias a huge hand, with a powerful grip—save us from giving him serious offence il he were a common i sinner !—has inexhaustible vitality, and would not be over-delicate in perpetrating j a joke, even if it should be a little rough aud has withal a homeliness which his com plexion does not greatly relieve. This i friend of ours is an earnest worker, and I has a well earned reputation as a revival ist. Some years ago he was holding : ! meeting at which quite an interest wi , awakened. A number of persons had come ! to the mourner's seat, and some had been converted. One evening u group, co mist ing of two or three young men and as many young ladies, were present, whose object ; in coming was to have merriment. Our j friend the minister having noticed their ma- j uoiuvres for a while, and thinking it was ! time they were checked, found his way to them, and addressing himself to the young men, kindly requested them to observe the decorum befitting the place. One of them, whose ideas of politeness were hardly up | to the mark, ventured iu a rather ungra cious manner to reply that they " had un derstood that miracles were worked there, and they had come to see some performed." Upon this our robust friend, the minister, coolly took the young man by the coat col lar, deliberately led him down the aisle, aud, opening the door, without further cer emony landed him outside, quietly remark ing, "We do not work miracles here, but we cast out devils !" THE PRESENT. —In order to enjoy the pre sent, it is necessary to be intent on the present. To be doing one thing, and think of another is a very unsatisfactory mode of spending life Some people are always \ wishing themselves somewhere but where | they are, or thinking of something else ] than what they are doing, or of somebody else than to whom they are speaking. This ! is the way to enjoy nothing, to do nothing ! well, and to please nobody. It is belter t" 1 be interested with inferior persons and in ferior things than to be indifferent to the j best. A principal cause of this indiffer ence is the adoption of other people's tastes instead of the cultivation of our own—the pursuit after that for which we are not fit ted, and to which consequently, we are not iu reality inclined. This folly pervades, more or less, all classes, and arises from the error of building our enjoyment on the false foundation of the world's opinion, in stead of being, with due regard to others, each our own world. A FATAL DRINKING WAGER.— A foolish wager was made at a wine shop which re- i suited in death. At a breakfast, where j the conversation turned on the quantity of I drink which a person could take, a Brick layer, named Florentine, made a bet that lie would drink twelve glasses of wine when the clock of the Tuileries was strik ing twelve. He drank three glasses be fore the clock had struck three times. At j the next glass he stopped to breathe. At ' the seventh he began to drink more slovv ; iy but, making an effort he drank off the i eighth glass, lie then turned very pale, and breathed with difficulty. His friends wished to stop the wager, but he said he would go on, come what might, and swal lowed the ninth glass. He had hardly emp tied the glass when lie fell down senseless. A surgeon was sent lor ; but in spite of all | his efforts, the foolish man died iu three hours. AN old lady who recently visited Oneida, New York, was asked on her return if the canal passed through that village. She j paused a while, and answered : " 1 guess not; I didn't see it and if 1 did, it must ; have gone through in the night when 1 ! was asleep." REGARDLESS OF DENUNCIATION FROM ANY QUARTER. MR. NASBY ARRIVES AT HOME HOW HIS PEOPLE WERE^OUTRAGED. POST OI T is, CONFEDEIUT X ROADS, (which is in the Stait of Kentucky,) September 16, 1666. I found my flock in a terrible state uv ; depresshun, at which, when I wuz told the i cause, 1 didn't wonder at. There wuz, back luv the corners on the side hill, over tow j aids Garrettstown about three-quarters uv j a mile this side uv Abbott's grocery, (we i estimate distance here from one grocery j to another,) live or six families of niggers. The males of this sefth ment had ali bin in | the Fedrai army ez soljers, and lied saved ! their pay and bounty and sicli, aud lied , bought uv a disgustid Confedorit, who pro | posed to find in Mexico that fredum which ; wuz denied him here, and who beiu deter ! mined to leave the country, didn't care who ; lie sold his plantashen to, so ez be got j greeuhax, three hundred acres, which I hey bed divided up and built cabins onto 'em, j and wuz a cultivatin it. There wuz a store j keeper at the Corners who come hero from I!linoy,and who bed bin so greedy uv gain, j and so graspiu ez to buy their prodoose uv ' em, and sell em sicli supplies ez they need j ed. These accursed suns and dawters of Hani wuz a liviu there in comfort. They j came to the Corners dressed iu clothes | without patches, and white shirts and hats j on, and the females in dresses and hoops under em ; in short, these apes hed assoom cd so much uv the style uv the people that cf it hadn't been for their black laces they wood liev passed i<>r folks. Our people became indignant, aud ez soon ez I returned 1 wuz requested to call a uuctin to consider the matter, which I ov course did. Tlu- horn wuztootid, and tiie entire Cor m rs wuz assembled, eggceptin the Illiuoy j storekeeper, who didn't attend to us mucli. I stated briefly and eiokently, (I hev im proved in public, spcakiii sen,--: 1 heered his ; Serene lligncss, Audroo, all tin- way from I \\ ashuigliiii to Looisvilie.) and asked the I brethren to rase their minds. I Squire < >uvitt had observed the progress , uv them niggers with the most profouiidest | alarm. li-; hed noticed em cumin to the | Corners dressed better nor his family dress* ' j-1, ami -c'ii-i tiie pr.dux of tlieir land to ! that wretch— At tins point tiie illiuoy storekeeper come in, and the Squire proceeded : ; —he shood say Mr. Pollock, and he hed j made inquiries and found that one family ■ lied sold three hundred and seventy-five dollars worth ov truck this season, uv ' which they hed laid out for clothes and i hooks tu hundred dollars, Icevin ern one i hundred and seventy-five dollars in cash, | which was more money than he hed made | sense the accursed Linkin passed thceman j cipashun proclamation. And what did driv I the iron into his soul wuz the fact that Willi ov 'item niggers was his nigger. "Tire I money iliey hev," pursood the Squire, "is my inoin-y; that man, worth $1,."<00, is toy man ; iiis wife is my woman ; her children ruy children—" That's a literal fact," shouted Joe Big h-r, a drunken returned Confederate soj. r, " tiiey have your nose eggsactly, and they're the meanest yalier hrats|in the set tlement." Tnis unhappy remark ended in a slight unph'-isairtm as, wh'eu resulted in the Squire's being can ted out miiius one ear, and iiis nose smashed Joseph remarked that in wanted to gel at liirn ever since he wouldn't lend him aghall dollar two months ago. lie wuz now satisfied, and hoped this little episode wouldn't mar the harmo ny uv the meetin. Elder Smathers observed that iic had no tist with pain that them niggers ailuz had money, and wnz a'duz drest well, while we, their s iop -i ior.-', hed no money and liothiu to boa&t rr. in the way uv close, lie would say-- l'olloek, the Illiuoy storekeeper, put in. Kf tiie elder would work ez tlrem niggers wuz worl.in, ami not loaf over the half the time at Bascom's grocery, he might possi bly hev a full soot uv close, and now and then a dollar of in money. It waz here ez it was in all strikly Dimekratic coornmuni ties, the grocery keepers absorb all the tloatin capital, and— lie was not allowed to proceed. Bascom flung a chair at him, and four or five of his coustitooents fell on him. He wuz carried out lor dead. Baacum remarked tiiat he wuz for the utmost freedom uv speech, but in the discussion uv a grx-a coirstitooslrinal question no Illiuoy ablishnist shood put in Ids yawp. The patriotic remark wuz cheer ed, bui when Bascom ask't lie whole meet in out to drink, the applause was uproari- ailuz gets applause—he knows how to move an audience. Deekin I'ograin sed he bore with them niggers till his patience wuz gin out. He eudoorcd it till list Sunday. After service lie felt pensive, ruther, and walked out to towards Garrettstown,meditatin as he went on the sermou he had listened to that niorn in on the necessity uv the spread of tiie Gospil. Mouriu in spirit over tire condition of the heathen, he didn't notis where he wuz till he found hisself in the nigger set tiement, and in front uv oue uv their hous es. There he saw a site which paralizod him. There wuz a nigger which wuz wunst his nigger, which Linkin deprived him uv, settiu under his porch, ami profauin the Holy Bible by teachiu his child to read it! ; lviu this be eudoorcd? the Deekin asked. Deekin Perkins sed he must bear his un | worthy testimony agin these disturbers.— I They bed, he knowd whereof he spoke, hir |ed a female woman from Massachusetts to | teach their children ! lie had bin in their I skoolrooiu aim with his own eyes witnest i '*• Bascom, the grocery keeper, hed Liu ; shocked at their conduct, lie was couviuet that a nigger was a beast. They come to i the Corners to sell the produx of their lands ido they spend tlieir money at his bar ? \a 'ry ! They spend sum uv it at the store uv 1 .. disorganize!" from Illiuoy, who is here in i terferin with the bizness uv troo Southern ; men, but he hed never seed one uv em in | side iiis door. He had no pashence with | em, and believed siitbin should be done to rid the community uv sich yooseless inhab ! itance. Ef they ever git votes tliey'r agin j us. No man who dodges my bar ever votes i straight Dirnocracy. Giural Punt moved that this meetin do towunst proceed to the settlement and clean em out. They wuz a reproach to Ken tucky. Of course, ez they were heathens and savages, sich goods ez they hed wood j fall to the righteous, uv whom we wuz which, ane he insisted upon a fair divide. All he wanted was a bureau and a set uv chairs he had seen. The motion was amcndid to inclood Pol lock, the Illinoy storekeeper, and it wuz at wunst acted upon. Pollock wuz reconstructed first. Filled with zeal for the right, his door wuz busted in, and in a jiffy tiie goods which he wuz a contaminatin our people with wuz distrib uted among the people, each takin sich az sooted em. Wuri sejested that ez they wuz made by Yankees, and brought South by Yankees, that there wuz contaminashen in the touch of em, and that they be burned, but lie wuz hooted down, our people seeing a distinkshun. The contaminashen wuz in paying for em—gittin em gratooitusly took the cuss off. Elated, the crowd started for the settle ment. I never saw more zeal manifested. A half an hour brought us there, and then a scene ensood which filled me with joy 011 speekable. The niggers wuz routed and their goods wuz bundled after em. The Bi ble and skooi books wuz destroyed fust,coz we had no use for em ; then cheers, tables, and buros, clothin aud beddiu wuz distrib ited. A wooman bad the impoodence to beg for sutliin she fansed,when the riteshus zeel uv my next door nabor, Pettus, biled over, and he struck her. Her husband for gettin bis color, struck Pettus, and the out rage was completed. A nigger had razed his hand against a white man. The insulted Oaucashen blood riz, and iu less than a minit the bodies uv six male Ethiopians wuz a danglin in the air, aud the bodies uv six Ethiopian wimiu wuz lay in prostrate on the earth. The children wuz spared, for they wuz still young, and not hevin bin taught to read so far that they could not forgit it ef kept carefully from books, they km be brought up in the proper speer, ez servauce to their brethren. (By the way, the inspired writer must have yoozed this word " brethren " in this con nection figeratively. The nigger bein a beast cannot be our brother.) Some may censure us for too much zeal in this matter, but what else cood we hev dun ? \Ye are higli-torio'l, and can't stand everything.— Tho.se niggers lied no right to irritate us by their presence. They knowd our feel ! ins on the subjick, and by buyin land aud remainin in the visinity they kindled the flame which resulted ez it did. Ez they did in Memphis and Noo Orleans they brought their fate onto their own head. Pollock recovered, and with the Yankee schoohnarm who wuz a tcachin the nig gers left for the North yesterday. It speeks well for the forbearance of our peo-1 pie that they wuz permitted to depart at PETROLEUM V. NASBY, P. M., (which is Postmaster,) (& likewise late chaplin to the expedishun.) POPPING THE QUESTION- We have heard of many cases of "pop ping"' under singular circumstances —the I eccentric, the abrupt, the business like, the ! silly, ami a hundred otla 1 st\les. Of the i eccentric, we could cite,the case of a we'll- ! known merchant, who, one day dining at a friend's house, sat next to a lady who pos sessed rare charms of conversation. The : merchant did not possess this faculty in a i very rar<- degree, but could do that which ; is. next best, ho could appreciate, an appre ciation ahioh he endeavored to show by ; the following mode of action :—Do you like t toast, Miss B—?" "Yes," responded the la- j dy,slightly surprised at the question. "But- j teicl toast "That is strange, so do I. I I.et us gt t married." There cannot be much , doubt but that the lady was taken slightly aback, a fact that did not prevent the mar riage I ta-Tii coming off in a month after wards, nor the accession of the lady to one of the finest establishments in the city. As a specimen of the abrupt, we shall cite t! ease of a gentleman who had re tired from business at the age of forty, and built him a beautiful house, determined to enjoy life to the utmost. One day a friend was dining with him, and said, halt joking ly, "You have everything here that heart could desire but a wife." "That's true. I must think of it," said lie, and then relaps ed into silence for a few minutes,at the end of which time he rose, begged to be excus ed for a short time, and left the room. He seized his hat and went instantly to a neigh bor's, and was shown into the parlor, with the information that neither the master nor the mistress was at home. He told the ser vant that he wanted neither, and requested that the housekeeper be sent to him. She came, and the gentleman thus addressed her : —"Sarah, I have known you for many I years, and have just been told that 1 wan ted a wife. You are the only woman 1 kuow that 1 should be willing to trust my happi ness with, and if you agree we will bo in stantly married. What is your answer ?" Sarah knew the man that addressed her, and knew that his offer was serious, and as veil weighed as though he had considered for a year, and she answered him in the same spirit, "1 agree." "Will you be ready in an hour?" ''l will." "1 shall return for you in that time," which he did, the gentle man who suggested the idea accompanying him to the clergyman's. Many years have passed since then, and neither party has seen any cause to regret the abrupt propo posal and acceptance. Of the business style, we can cite a case related to us, which we kuow for a true one. A young man who had succeeded to the ill-kept and badly cultivated, though really valuable farm of a deceased uncle, saw at a glance that two things were abso lutely necessary to enable him to succeed ; the first being a wife to take charge of the woman's department, and the second a few thousand dollars to stock it with. He could not help thinking to himself that possibly these two great aids to his happiness and i prosperity might be found together, and S yet, without attempting to put his matri j inonial and financial ideas into practice, he I allowed them to haunt him continually. With this upon his mind,our farmer star | ted upou a horse-back journey to a di tant part of the country, aud upon his return ! made an acquaintance upou the road,iu the old gentleman who was jogging the same way. The companions dined together at a way side inn, and fraterni "1 pleasantly, during which the young man opened his heart to the young man opened his heart to the elder, telling him all his plans and as pirations, when the old gentleman addres sed the younger :—"I rather like you, my friend and your honest way of telliug your tfi2 |>c?i* Annum, in Advance. story, and if yon will conic and See me I shall bo glad. I have three daughters, all as good girls as ever lived. Now. perhaps one maybe the very one you are looking for ; if so, I will do my best toward mak ing the balance of the matter agreeable.— Hide over and see me to-morrow, take din ner and stay in the afternoon, which will give you a fair ebauce to see them and judge." The young man instantly agreed to the proposal, making only one condition, that the yon rig ladies should not be inform ed of the nature of his errand. This was agreed to ai d they separated. The next day at the appointed time, the joung man dismounted at the door of the house of his new friend, and was heartily welcomed. The hour before dinner was consumed in looking over the farm, the youug man in admiring its keeping, the old one in approving of the sensible and praoti cal remarks of the younger, when the meal was announced, and the three young ladies and their mother were introduced. They were all, as the old gentleman bad said, Cue girls, but the youngest, rosy-cheeked, blue eyed, and laughing-laced, charmed the young farmer especially. The dinner over, they once more walked out for a chat. "Well, how do you like my daughters ?" J was the old gentleman's first question.— "they are.ull nice girls,very uice," said the young man, t oughtfully. "And which of them do you like the best?" was the ques-i tion. "The youngest —Kate ! She is char ming, do take the youngest,and by all odds the prettiest ; and if 1 am to be your son in-law, you must give me Kate." "This will never do," said the old gentleman, se riously. "I must have her or none," was the response,spoken decidedly, "flow much money did you say you wanted ?" "Five thousand dollars will put my farm in excel lent order, and make it worth twenty thou sand dollars to morrow. I must have five thousand dollars." "11l give you the sum with either of the ! other girls," said the old man, positively ; "but 1 wiil give you three thousand with Kate." "Then I may as well go home.— Five thousand I must have—l have set my mind upon it." "And I have just as strong ly determined to do only what I have said," j was the old gentleman's reply : so I sup- 1 pose the matter is at end. However, we J will be good friends, and you must some times run over and see me." This ended the conference,and they parted. The young mail mounted his horse and rode down to ward the road, but just as lie was about opening th<- gate, stooping from his saddle, the laughing-faced Kate sprang through the shrubbery to save him the trouble.— "Can't you accept my father's terms !" "Yes, by George, I will, if you say so," was the instantaueous response. "Tlieu come j over to-morrow morning before ten o'clock I and tell him so and the girl vanished ! like a fairy among the leaves. The young j man rode slowly home, but lie was on hand ; next morning, according to bidding, and j married the lair Kate in two months after. ! As a specimen of the absurd, we cannot j do better than cite a ease that occurred j within our own jurisdiction, in a country i village of Massachusetts. There was a cer tain Xachariah Peebles, a stout,industrious, j sober aud 1 ashful farm hand, a resident of that locality. Zack was celebrated not for j what lie diu say, but for what he did not, | bis silence being a matter of marvel through j all the chattering neighborhood, Zack, with all his taciturnity, *waß not proof against i shafts of love, and was smitten with the i wholesome charms of the only child of the | Widow Brown, a bright eyed, good looking j girl possessing the same trait of silence as Zack, though not in so eminent a degree, i Tin* first time Zack showed his admiration for S ;lly was l>y- seizing a large basket of cow food she was about to carry into the 1 stables, and was hurrying thither in a frightened way, much as though he was ta king it from a burning bouse. Alter that Zack seemed to be perpetual ly on the watch to save poor Sally from heavier work. These delicate attentions could not fail to attract the notice of the Widow Brown, who, really respecting the young man, invited him into the house to spend the evening, dividing his atten tion equally between the fire, and feasting bis eyes on Sally. For two years this qui et adoration went on, and the neighbors wondered why, as there was nothing to pre vent it, they did nut marry. It never had been known whether the idea arose out Zaek's own brain, or whether it was a hiut from a friend, but at last he did find cour age to pop tiie question. It was done in this way : The time was New Year's eve, and the fair Sally had been preparing a stout jug of mulled civ' r, that she might have some thing to cheer Zaek's heart when he came in. Xuck came, he drank, took his accus tomed seat in the chimney corner, where he sat quietly as usual for a few minutes, and then, without any previous symptoms, he rose up to his full higlit, six feet aud two inches, putting his head up the chimney so that little of him was seen above the waist, and delivered the following oration : "If somebody loved somebody as well as some body loves somebody,somebody would mar ry somebody." Zack remained with his head up the chimney after this speech, si lent as death, for some minutes, until he came forth at the earnest solicitation of Widow Brown with a face glowing like the setting sun. The thing was done, howev er, and Zack and Sally were married in a few weeks after, and we are convinced that if either of them could be induced to talk now, after a trial of a dozen years, they would say that they were entirely satisfied with that mode of popping the question. Music is one of the fairest and most glorious gifts of God, to which Satan is a bitter enemy, for it removes from the heart the weight of sorrow and the fasciuation of evil thoughts. Music is a kin ! and gen tle sort of discipline ; it refines the passion and improves the understanding. Those who love music are gentle and honest in their tempers. I always loved music, and would not for a great matter be without this little skill which I possess iu the heav ly art. " Yoc a dentist, Bob ? 1 did not know you were in that that trade." "Yes," said Bob, •' I follow no other business but setting teeth—iu beef, potatoes, bread, and sick like." llow like is this picture ; you'd think that it breathes ; What life! what expression! what spirit! It wants but a tongue. "Alas!" said the spouse, •' That want is its principal merit." LOG ROLLING. An Englishman who was traveling oil the Mississippi river,told some rather rough stories about the London thieves. A Cin cinnati chap named Chase, heard these nar ratives with a silent but expressive humph! and then remarked that he thought the Western thieves beat the London opera tors all hollow. " Why so ?" inquired the Englishman, with surprise, " Fray, have you lived much iu the West?" " Not a great deal. I undertook to set up busiucss at Desmouies Kapids a while ago, but the rascally people stole nearly everything I had, and finally a Welch mi ner ran off with my wife." " Good God !" said the Englishman, "and you never fuund her !" " Never to this day. But that was not the worst of it." " Worst! Why, what could be worse than stealing a mau's wife ?" " Stealing his children, I should say," said the implacable Chase. "Childreu ?" " Yes, a nigger woman, who had not any of her own, abducted my youngest daught er, and sloped and jined the Ingens." " Great Heavens ! did you not see her do it ?" " See her? Yes, and she hadn't ten rods the start of me ; and she plunged into the lake and swam like a duck—and there wasn't a cauoe to follow with." The englishman laid back iu his chair,and called for another mug of 'all aud 'aff,while Chase smoked his cigar and credulous friend at the same time most remorsely. " I—l shan't go any further west—l think," at length observed the excited John Bull. "I should not advise any oue to go,"said Chase quietly. "My poor brother once liv ed out there, but he had to leave, although his business was the best in the country." " What business was he in ?" " Lumbering—had a saw mill." " And they stole his lumber?" " Yes, and bis saw-logs, too. " Saw-logs ?" "Yes. Whole dozens of fine black wal nut logs were carried off in a single night. True upon my honor, sir. He tried every way to prevent it, hired men to watch the logs, but it was all no use. They whipped 'em away as easy as if there had been no one there. They'd steal 'em out of the riv er, out of the coves, and even out of*the mill ways." " Good gracious J" " Just to give you an idea how they can steal out there," continued Chase sending a sly wink at the listening company, "just to give you an idea—did you ever work in a saw mill ?" " Never." " Well, my brother one day bought an all-fired black walnut log—four feet three at the butt, and not a knot in if. He was determined to keep that log, so he hired two Scotchmen to watch it all night. Well they took a small demijohn of whisky with them, snaked the log up the side of the hill, and then sat down on the log to play keerds just to keep them awake, you see. 'Twas a monstrous big log—bark four inch es thick. Well, as I was saying, they ' played keerds and drank whisky all night ; —and as it began to grow light they went asleep astraddle of the log. About a min ute after daylight my brother went out to j see how they got on, and the log was I gone !" " And they sitting on it ?" " Setting on the bark ! The thieves had drove iron wedge into the butt end which pointed dowu hill, and hitched a yoke of oxen on and pulled it-riglit out, leaving the shell and Scotchem setting astraddle of it fast asleep." The Englishman here arose, dropped his cigar stump into the spittoon, and looked at his watch, said he thought he would go on deck, and see how far we'd be down the river by morning. A LAW JOKE.—A lawyer of fluid tenden cies was discussing some nice point of law, and getting out of patience at the inability of the court to take his own view of it, said the intellect of the court was so dark a flash of lightning could not penetrate it. The judge, being a new-comer, and not knowing the peculiarities and failings of the man, imposed a severe punishment on him for contempt of court. Some of the lawyer's friends stated the case to his hon or, and the punishment was remitted on the condition that he should publicly apol ogize to the court. He was accordingly brought up the following morning, and made amends by saying,— " I regret very much that I said, in the heat of the moment, that the intellect of the court was so dark lightning could not penetrate it. I guess it could ; it is a very penetrating thing." FUN, FACTS AND FAOETIiE. Ax old batchelor says that every womau is in tlic wrong until she cries—anil then she is iu the right instantly. A YAXKEE doctor has recently got up a remedy for hard times. It consists of ten hours' hard labor well worked in. A DANDY iu Broadway, wishing to be wit ty, accosted an old rag-man as follows: "You take all sorts of trumpery in your cart, dont you "Yes ; jump in, jump on." A SCHOOLMISTRESS in Lenox, Mass., was arrested and bound over for trial last week, for an aggravated assault upon a child 31 years old, be cause he did not spell ' fox.' TITE author of an idle and imperfect book ended with the usual phrase of cetera desiderantnr ; one altered it, >i on desiderantur sed de.sunt —"The rest is icuntdnj, but not icatUtd." AN English judge stated that it had al ways been his opinion that calling many witnesses to prove one fact was like adding a large quantity of water to a small quantity of brandy—it made if weak. IN the late campaign in Louisiana, a par ty of Confederates marching through a swamp were ordered to form two deep. A corporal imme diately exclaimed, "I'm too deep already ; I am up to the middle." AN exchange says that in a public oflice in a Western city the following notice may be seen : '' Lod — A valuable new silk umbrella, be longing to a gentleman with a curiously carved ivory head!" THE editor of a country exchange says : " A correspondent writes that if we desire it he will send us something to fill up with. That's just what we want. Suppose that you commence now with a good roasting piece of beef and a barrel of i flour." AN old woman was advised to try the ef | feet of kindness on her husband. Being told that | it would heap coals of fire on his head, she replied | that she had tried "bilin' water," and it did not !do a bit of good. She had but little faith iu the efficacy of coals. KEEI'INO HER WORD.—A young lady hav ing promised her grandma that she would never marry a certain fellow "on the face of the earth, 11 repaired with him, after the old lady's death, ta the Mammoth Cave, in Kentucky, and was mar ries underground. " BI.ACK Stockings of all colors," wore lately advertised in a country newspaper. A TAX NO ONF. LlKES.— Attacks on one's J purse. FUT the strongest minded woman iu a bouuet shop and it will instantly turn her head. " IV'E buried my best friend," as the uu i dertaker said when he interred the quack doctor. NUMBER 21.