OIE DOLLAR PER ANNUM INVARIABLY IN ADVANCE.
TOWANDA :
Thursday Morning. September 18,1862.
jWtrfei Hodrj.
FILL THE RANKS.
BY KICHAKD COE.
Forward, brothers, in your might,
Forward, forward to the fight,
GOD is ever with the light,
Fill tDe ranks!
Let your watchword ever be
" Union and Liberty !"
Soon will treason cease to be,
Fill the ranks
Men of brawny arm and frame,
Men of mind and men of name,
All who have a sense of shame,
FiU the ranks !
For the future years to be,
None so proud or great as ye,
Battling still for liberty,
Fill the ranks !
Give good bye to ladies.' eyes,
Bid farewell to Northern skies.
Have no thought of compromise,
Fill the ranks!
Forward to the field of blood,
Be the path of honor trod,
Forward, iu the name of GOD !
Fill the ranks!
By your kindred who have bled,
By the brave, heroic dead.
Lying in their country's stead!
Fill the ranks!
By your altars and your fires !
By your patriotic sires !
By your hate of traitor liars !
Fill the ranks!
Show contempt to foreign kings,
With their gew-gawa and their rings,
llave a laith iu nobler things!
Fill the ranks!
Should a proud, mistaken world,
"Gainst our nation's right be hurled.
Let our llag be still uuturled !
Fill the ranks!
GOD is with us ! wiio can doubt ?
Let the sous of Freedom shout
•• Tyranny be put to rout!"
Kill the ranks!
|tl is c c 11 aiu os.
(Correspondence of the N. Y. Tribpne.)
The Battie-Field of Bull Run.
WASHINGTON, Wednesday, Sept. 3, ISG2.
I send itie following narrative ol adventures
in both Union and Re be i armies, during a visit
to the battlefield as a volunteer conveying
supplies and rendering assistance to the wound
ed of Saturday lust.
Pope's flaring dispatch had caused the au
thorities to lake the clerks of the departments
(who had beeu going through the manual of
light infantry, with a view to assisting in the
defense of the city, ail day), and organize them
as a corps to go upon ltie battle field and as
sist the wounded. Many other gentlemen of
fered their cooperation and were at once ac
ecpted. At tins time it was universally be
lieved that we not only held the battle field,
hut were pursuing the enemy—uovv battled and
overthrown into the mountains. Under this
impression, about two hundred four-wheeled
ambulances of a new pattern started for the
scene of action. In these rode the volunteers,
with tlie exception of one or two, who after
ward started with a train of hacks pressed in
to the Government service by the Provost
Guard. Foruiany reasons this expedition was
a totul failure. Some of the hacks had been
in service aI i day. The horses of these were
too tired to perform u journey of fifty miles
without oats or forage ; others were such fee
ble olu vehicles that it was evident they must
break down on the miserable roads of this sec
tiou, cut uji as they are by the armies which
have each in turn occupied the ground. In
due of the best some good Samaritans had
placed a quantity of liquor for the use of the
sick. A volunteer civilian was appointed to
look after it, and the procession staited about
half past niue for the battle-ground, under tlie
command of a lieutenant of the Provost Guard,
nod escorted by some cavalry. They rattled
along, amid shouts and imprecations and the
drunken cries of the drivers, some of whom
had found means to seeure private bottles of
whisky. The avenue and the streets of G orge
town were lined with the inhabitants, who
looked with some curiosity at this queer mid
night cavalcade. The direction taken was over
the Aqueduct Rridge aud along the dirt road
to Fall's Church. This part of the journey
was not accomplished without numerous halts
and accidents. It was impossible to keep the
hacks iu line with so slim an escort. They
soon got broken up into detachments, axle
trees began togiveout, wlilfl-trees were snap
ped, horses became baulky, drivers more aud
more mutinous—back alter back was left on
the roadside disabled. A few found their wav
to Alexandria, and others got off ihe road in
different directions, lieyoud Falls Church a
battery and its supports was posted iu the road.
At this point the escort with one or two ex
ceptions had disappeared, aud when the pro
ccbMOQ was halted for the countersign no one
kew it ■ however, as one detachment had al
ready passed and giveu the word, the officer
in cluuge ol the pickets concluded to pass them
a ' s o. About daybreak Fairfax Court House
achieved iu a heavy rain, through which
e ". Sumner's corps was inoviug towurd the
"ee&e of conflict. From there to Centreville
'he road was liued with regiments—some
Marching, and others bivouacking iu the fields
tt l°ugside. Paroled prisoners disarmed, and
Wt , re K lowly crawling to the rear,
tt 'tli litre uud there a crippled warrior in search
a liospitul, and shelter. Half way to Cen
'•eville five or six hundred prisoners were met,
jjjso proceeding to the rear under a guard.—
hese were the most abject, dilapidated, rag
t'-fi rascals that the Smlberu army hail vet
THE BRADFORD REPORTER.
produced, and were regarded with curiosity in
proportion.
As the hacks toiled up the heights of Cen
i treville, passing through the shattered columns
of Pope's army, it became evident that the
victoiy was not a great one. There was no
jubilation in the appearance of these men ; and
in after conversation with them, men and offi
oers all expressed the opinion that no victories
could be wou under McDowell and Pope. As
for our hacks, out of about two hundred which
started from Washington, only sixteen were
present. Rumors were afloat that a number
j had been engaged by the clerks of the depart
l meats aud volunteer assistants to carry them
| back to the city. The horses had giveu out
iiu some places, and the hacks in others. The
battle field was in possession of the enemy;
and in fact there was nothing for the volun
teers to do but walk back—a pleasant pros
pect, which a number of them at once proceed
ed to realize. A few went forward at all
risks toward the field, to carry out the pur
pose which led them there. These got cap
tured by the Rebels. Meanwhile, the sixteen
hacks, as many ambulances, and two or three
wagons, proceeded to the hospital, established
in aud about tiie same house which served
Beauregard for headquarters at tlie battle of
Blackburn's Ford.
Here it was discovered that no one was in
charge ot the hacks, but, after some delay, it.
was decided uot to attempt to go upon the
battle-ground, but to load up with wounded
at this place, which was considered at the time
to be in danger. This occasioned much delay,
and was well nigh prevented by a panic, con
sequent on the appearance of a few mounted
men at a distance. No sooner were these seen
than one of the doctors injudiciously com
menced shouting to the drivers to fall back,
which liiey did pell uiell. This passed, how
ever, and the civilians, of whom a few still re
mained, doing what was iu their power, assist
ed the wounded into the vehicles.
Distant firing was heard at this time, which
hurried oil the remaining vehicles, as it was
supposed that lighting might commence at any
moment. Ranks was reported engaged with
the enemy at II istow Station, and a few per
sons pushed over the Hull Run Bridge at
Blackburn's Ford, with stores, determined to
assist the wounded of Bank's army. Strag
glers hurrying toward Centreville, spread the'
news of the destruction of that General's trains '
by his own foices, and ol his retreat toward
Centreville This soon became evident. Truths
of ambulances conveying the wounded made
tlicir appearance, and weie followed by tlie
brigades of Banks's army corps, moving rap
idly to Bull Ran, which tliry crossed on the
bridge at Blackburn's Ford, and marching to
the top ot the hiil halted on the >ame giound 1
upon which Ricliardsou's Brigade and Sher
man's Battery form tl for tiie battle of Black
burn's Ford last year.
Gen. Banks, worn but indomitable, rode
along his lines, and proceeded to headquarters j
at Centreville, wlvther it was necessary for all ;
concerned to go in search of shelter. Dr. Grig
bv's house—already sacred to newspaper cor
respondents—offered its accustomed shelter,
entirely without furniture, smelling badly, and j
very dirty. ILre some of us slept on the
boards, lying down with the prospect of the 1
army's falling back before morning. Most of
the citizens that had arrived were sent back
by order of Rope, so that very few remained ;
with the army. These had stayed till the inud i
should dry up, before undertaking the jour- 1
ney. Meanwhile a long train was wending
its way to Fairfax, consisting of wagons, am
bulances, carriages of ail kinds, infantry, cav- ■
airy, and artillery, some of the guns of the hit- !
ter being carried slung under the limbers, 1
owing to their carriages having beeu destroy
ed in the fight.
Before retiring, and while looking out from '
the octagou fort, the center of the enemy's old j
works at Centreville —at this time occupied by j
the new brass Napoleons of the Ist Massachu- '
setts Battery—another line of the Union army
could be traced winding down the Warrenton
Turnpike. This was Sumner's corps. At ;
Cut) Run, Walton's battery was shelling the
Rebel outposts, and away from out on the hills !
and plains of Manassas rose the smoke of Reb
el bivouac fires, traceable as far as Thorough-'
fare Gap iu the Bull Iluu Mountains, whence j
McDowell precipitately retreated last Thnrs- !
day a week ago before two or three squadrons
of the enemy's cavalry, deserting ar, almost im- j
pregnable position and leaving the passage !
free for the Rebel hosts. The incompetency
of Gen McDowell (the soldiers are very bit
ter, and call it treason) has certainly made it
self evident, and when Hooker succeeded him !
in command the joy of the soldiers was great.
Early next morning an orderly awoke us. 1
The flag ol truce which Pope had asked ot
Gen Lee by letter the day before was grant
ed, and doctors, soldiers, citizens, volunteers,
etc., departed with the train of ambulances to
the field of Saturday's fight, very insufficiently
supplied with stores, and with transportation
for about one quarter of the sufferers w ho were
now passing their third day on the ground
where they had fallen. The road taken was
the Warrenton pike, over the ford at Cub
Run, the same road which, on July 21, IBGI,
fas the scene of the terrible panic which suc
ceeded the battle of that day, fought ou the j
same ground as the battle of last Saturday.—
No signs of that old panic remain, but occa
sional cast away muskets, bayonets, equip- i
luents, burned wagons and portions of gun-1
carriages, and the scattered wounded limping
ou sticks and roughly constructed crutches, es
tablished the line of the present retreat.
After reaching the well remembered White
House, Geu. Tyler's hospital at the former !
battle, aud passing the woods where Seheuck's
and Sherman's brigades were posted on that
day, the train left the road, and, diverging to
the left, crojsed Bull Run at a lord some dis
tance below the Stone Bridge. Very pictur
esque was the appearance of this spot. The
ambulances, preceded by the white flag, aud
accompanied by an unarmed cavalry escort,
wouud deviously down tbe broken slope into
the Run, overlooked by a platoon of the
Southern vavalry—the pickets of their army.
PUBLISHED EVERY THURSDAY AT TOWANDA, BRADFORD COUNTY, PA., BY E. 0. GOODRICH.
liat a short distance from the river large bo
dies of their horsemen came in sight. The Ist
A irgitiia was halting alongside the road—a
fine body of men, evidently all of the better
order of Southern society, well mounted, well
armed, handsome, resolute looking fellows,
their gray dress in better condition than that
of the infantry, but very much varied. Some
were in citizen's clothes. Beside these, the
road was filled with their stragglers, among
whom the North and South Carolinians were
decidedly th 3 worst looking The signs of
' battle were here painfully evident, dead sol
| diers lay stark in the road and alongside the
: bank ; dead horses filling the air with carrion
' smell added to the horror of the place. At
the stone house used at the first as well as
! this battle as a hospital, was a large pile of
! muskets. In the neighboring fields, strewed
with dead horses, were also stray caissons,
. limbers and cannon, here a Parrot "gun, there
a howitzer, while away to the right a battery
1 of five Napoleon twelves was pointed out as
: having been taken iu the last fight.
Soon the battle field could be seen thickly
| dotted with carcases of horses and bodies of
! men. Not less than 2,500 killed and wound
|ed were lost here. In the rear of these fields
in a little orchard where the enemy took the
| Napoleon battery, the fl.ig of truce halted.
After a little delay the citizens, to the num
ber of thirty, formed a line by themselves, and
the soldiers who had been detailed to accom
pany the expedition to bury the dead, made
l up another. The latter went off in details to
perform their duty, and thecivilians, in squads
ot eight, accompanied the ambulances, carry
ing stretchers, upon which they placed the
wounded, as fast as they found them, and car
ried them to the ambulances. Attracted by
j the red bags of Duryee's Zouaves, we pro
ceeded to the field where thev lay nearly a
hundred of them—shattered, torn, and bloody,
iu every conceivable stage of misery. Ex
haustion hud beeii the cause of death with
'some whose wounds were not otherwise mor
tal. One man still clutched the earth, as in
the iu>t struggle for breath. Another, a tail,
square-browed, Roman-faced hero, prone on
i his back—had his face turned to the sky in
marble repose. By his side a mere biy iaid,
as if in death he hud sought the protection of
the stalwart arm which had befriended his
1 weaker nature in life.
All this was very sad ; but some of the hor
rors of that place arc almost nameless. The
blackened, shattered corpses it is horrible even
to think of. As for the wounded, their case 1
was infinitely worse. Away from help, on the 1
bloody ground where they fell dying by ioch-j
ts, to many recovery \va> impossible. Altho' j
the s'ragglers of the Rebel army had tukeu j
shoes and clothing from the dead, and even
from the living, none had been illtreated, on
the contrary, all spoke with gratitude of the (
manner in which they had been supplied with
water, and even with a little corn bread,when
their victors, half starved, themselves, could
spare it. Tuey hud even had a number eol- •
lected at different spots to facilitate their at
tendance and removal, and when called np:n 1
to help, never refused, but voluutaiily came
forward and expressed a desire to do all they j
could for us. The ambulances were soon li'led 1
and started for the orchard rendezvous, not !
however, before a violation of the flag of truce
by some Southern men who took four or five j
colored drivers off their seats.
An English gentleman, present as a volun
teer, made a strong remonstrance in the case
of a free colored man of Washington, whom a
scoundrel iu citizen's clothing, with a major's ,
star on the collar oi his greasy coat, had claim
ed. This man, dismounting from his horse,
after remarking that he did not care whether
the negro was a slave or no, took him by the
collar, and with the words, "I'll make aslave
of you, and a slave you are from this moment,' j
dealt him a flat handed blow on the cheek, |
which drew a rush of tears from the eyes of
the trembling wretch.
The rest of the Rebels looked on approving- !
ly, and the fellow turned to the Englishman
and asked him what he had to say to that ?
The reply that the flag of truce recognized as
sacred all beueath its folds, and that he had
grossly violated it, made not the least impres
sion. Other officers of the Confederate army,
to whom remonstrauce was made, utterly dis- j
claimed such proceedings, and said that Gen.
Lee, to whom they would report the outrage, j
would doubtless return the negroes, if he amid j
find litem. Several of the civilliuus were rob- j
bed and others made prisoners, hut this last!
was their own fault, as they straggled away i
on their individual responsibility iu search of
trophies.
On our return to the headquarters, in the i
orchard, we found the doctors hard at work, !
operating on the wounded. It was noticed
that some of the surgeons, uot being appoint- j
ed on the amputating detail looked with cou- ;
tempt ou miuor wounds, and walked about
doing nothing. One of them sported a black
eye, gained iu a quarrel over the wouuded,and
one, at least, was tipsy. The best manage- :
tccut did not prevail ; but it is considered a
standing rule in the army for correspondents j
to wiuk at all shortcomings, as otherwise it
might tend to throw odium ou those who de- j
serve it and are responsible for failure. The
afternoon passed, and no arrangements were
made for carrying tbe wounded within the
lines, but blankets were uot wanting to cover j
them. Large fires were made, around which
the party, now tired out, was soon grouped,
wondering how they should pass the night
without blankets or shelter. IC soon began
to rain heavily ; the wounded were crowded
inside some barns and a farmhouse near by till
no more could be got in, and the rest had to
pass the night ou the ground, rolled in blank
ets. Til! a late hour the doctors continued
their work. The body of a dead man, shot in
Friday's fight which laid on the porch, aud
smelt offensive, was buried by three citizeusby
tbe light of candles under some trees along
side the house. A miserable night—rain, and
then a strong, cold North wind, was fiually
succeeded by dawn, when work began again;
fetching water tor the wounded, dressiug and
amputatiog, filling iulo the carriages, aud dis
"REGARDLESS OF DENUNCIATION FROM ANY QUARTER."
j tributing the few spoonfuls of beef soup iu
camp. Not staying for the main body a small
party of us started for CentreviMe oy way of
| the Stone Rridge, seeing very little of the
Secession army, now wgll on its way by tbe
j Guilford and Gum Spring roads to the Upper
; Potomac. Oa reaching Centreville, we found
' ouly oue compauy of the 50th Georgia Volun
j teers present, acting as Provost Guard iu the
! village. They were making themselves hap
py with the liquors and other medical stores
left in the place ; aud were a lank, lean, heard
looking set of half starved fellows, in light
flannel colored dress. Their Captain gave us
passes to the Union lines. Ho looked a cuu
niug fellow enough, and had more whisky in
j him tbuu appeared at first sight ; still he was
decidedly in good temper with himself, his po
sition, his dirty gang.and ail the world. While
waiting, we had au opportunity to see the op
i eratiou of relieving guard. It wold have made
a Northern soldier open his eyes. The Ser
| geaut brought the relief up one at a time, and
I would say, " Brown, Joues relieves you now,
and is to stay bere till the Captain sends some
i one else." llrown, apparently uncertain, re
mains on post. Sergeant takes his arms and
leads him ofl'a little distance, but seeing a
man relieving another on his own book, leaves
j B. to go aud look into it.
We also left, and esteemed ourselves in luek,
! to find some crackers thrown down and wast
' ed by the retreating Union army. From these
we selected tlie cleanest, and again went on,
the Georgiaupiekets demanding our passes a
short dislauceef rornCentreville. When about
Eur miles from Fait fax,we met C'olonelClaik,of
1 the 21st Massachusetts, and four privates, all
1 unarmed,seekiug to get within the Union lines.
It would have been easy to have added his
name to the list with the flag; but honor for
bade the use. The best that could be done
was to direct him as nearly as could be judged
iu what position the Rebel force was last like
ly to be found llis regiment bed been sur
prised L-v the Georgians, who approached the
; Guards declariug taeir iuteutiou to surrender,
till they were close enough for their purpose,
vvheu they suddenly attacked and dispersed
the Massachusetts men, making a number
prisoners uud cutting up the rest badlv.—
The Colonel, hungry, tired and in want of
sleep, was, as well as his men, determined uot
to give up, if possible, and lelt us, making his
v.ay southwards,previously accepting the offer
of two crackers from one of the partv, which
was all we hud. It is not vet known whether
Col. Clark finally escaped His chances were
certainly very doubtful. It was a sad specta
cle in its way to .see the proud comtnauder of
a thousand men reduced to the society of four
poor followers, without any distinction but
w hat habit gave, aud all equally hunted aud .
forced back at every turu by the cuuuing
enemy.
After this, to our great relief, we soon fell
in with the last of the Rebel soldiers—a pick
et of cavalry. They seemed somewhat astou
ished at first, and two of them rode out to
waid us. As usual with their mounted men,
they were superior fellows, physically, much
more so than the infantry. The passes were
exauiiued, the men grouped about quietly,with
Sharp's carbines,in rest—probably tukeu from
our cavalry wiio, en passant, are too prone to
throw their arms away.
The officer ol the picket declared us correct,
and remarked that we should find our lines
about a thousand yards] from us, adding that
they had beeu exchanging shots ail dav.
With lightened hearts we pushed ahead,and
iu five minutes more descried the U. S., cav
alry strongly posted in the road aud fields
alongside. The flag was displayed, and we
were halted at a distance of a hundred yards,
till the officer could confer with the bearer
of the flag, who disappeared over the crest of
the hill, leaving us waiting iu the road.
This lasted about ten minutes, and then a
couple of bullets whizzing over us, accom
panied by the quick reports of the rifles, ad
monishing us that the enemy was tired of de
lay. We now received the order to advance
and were soon within the lines of Gen. Bay
ard's brigade ot cavalry, which immediately
began to fall back upon Fairfax Court House.
Quickly through the streets ot the town, now
so memorable iu this struggle,passed the troops
the enemy's guus occussioually saluting the
flank of the retreating column.
iu the houses which yet boasted of residents
there was a curious air of expectation, uot to
suy preparation. iSorne of the males of the
place were already hauling down a sign of the
"Uuiou Hotel," to reinstate the old name of
the tavern, " Virginia House." The army
was retreating upou the fortified lines of
Washington. Brigades of the rear guard filled
the road, defended by a battery of light artil
ery iu the rear of all. The cavalry, deployed
as skirmishers, swept the neighboring fields.—
On bis horse, by the side of a gun planted in
the road, sat Gen. Hooker, shading bis eyes
with his hand, aud trying to penetrate the
spreading effulgeuce of the setting sun, which
now rendered objects iu the west very iudis
t iuct.
On to Washington quickly but in good or
der swept the divisions. No music, uot even
a trumpet-note, to cheer the night march !
Why is it that our Government denies the so
lace of music to the armies of the Republic ?
Every oue has experienced the cheering influ
euce of a military baud, aud yet oue is hardly
ever heard on the march, aud, with oue excep
tiou, never in battle. The cavalry galloping
wildly among the footmen—and,as usual,wick
edly abusing their tired horses—the ambulance
trains, wagons, batteries, long strings of hors
es fastened at each side of a long rope, itsslf
attached to the pole of a wagon, stragglers
and all found themselves at daybreak bivou
acked in the viciuity of the forts, the guns
peeping savagely in the misty light over the
desolated country.
The little baud, drawn together on an er
rand of mercy, dispersed, each his owu way,
perhaps never to meet again. If this errand
was a failure, they could hardly in fairness
suffer blame. Without provision of any kind,
they could do no more than was done. Still
it is a fearful thing to think that five hundred
poor fellows, whose chances of recovery, with
decent care, were quite good, lay dying of neg
lect in those lonely fields and woods, moaning
in their agony as they moved their stiffened
limbs, and thinking of those friends at home
who might yearn for them long but never see
them—friends who would gladly do so much,
if they could only reach them.
Dr. Maury, Major in the Confederate army,
at the request of one of the gentlemen who
weut with the flag of trace, got permission
from Geo. Lee to have the privilege extended
till the wouuded were all got off. The doctor
expressed his belief that they (the Rebels)
would gain Washington within two weeks.—
Indeed,lhe confidence of these people is aston
ishing. Defiant, patriotic, sacrificing every
thing to the cause, undiciplined, but dashing,
ready for any desperate enterprise, and de
voutedly believing in the capacity of their
Generals to lead them to victory, they march
for days ou roasted ears of corn, without
complaint,lie uncovered iD the fields, and drink
the water they can find. Our artillery they
fear, therefore all their efforts are to take it.
One of them said : " There is no instance iu
the war of your men having charged a battery
and taken it [of course this is not true,] but
outs always manage to do it." 'Jh; old story
was oft repeated by them about beating the
South but never subjugating it, and they
spoke of tuture plans with confidence. Their
columns were pushing for the Upper Potomac,
to cross over and raise Maryland, to push on
j and tale Harriihurg in Pennsylvania, perhaps
Philadelphia. We were told that a large par
j ty of cavalry had left Manassas, without bag
gage or other incumbrance, for an unguarded
point of the river,perhaps to swim it, to strike ,
at the railroads—Grstthe Baltimore and Ohio,
then Baltimore and Washington. If they !
cannot hold them, they propose to destroy ali ;
in their power,iucluding the blowing up of the I
Patapsco bridge, at tbe Relay House. They i
boast of having depots of supplies in Maryland
aud large bodies of recruits,who will join them
when they arrive. All this can be taken for
what it is worth ; certainly they are in great ,
force, and in their desperation may do much
mischief before they are finally driven to that .
last ditch, so feeling spoken of by their lead j
ers. j
The story of Sigel's having lost 17 guus is j
entirely false. His actual loss iu the receot
engagements is one gun of Johnson's battery,
a rifled cannon of Wiard's pattern,and a srnnll
mountain hawitzer belonging to what is known
as a jackass battery. The desperate fighting
done by this ccrps is evidenced ; by tbe loss of j
one of its divisions alone in the last three j
weeks. Carl Sehurz, out of about 9,000, lost j
in actual killed and wouuded 782 men.
r _
The Knickerbocker Magazine recom- 1
mends the following additions be made to the j
schedule of articles to be taxed by the Gov- '
eminent :
For carrying a cane, sl.
For lorgnous or quizzing glasses, SL.
For kissing anybody except relatives, 25 i
cents each time. [N. B. Engaged couples J
may " commute" for $lO a month.]
For ringing door bells or using knockers, !
one cent.
For using scraper or mat before a door, one i
cent.
For not using a scraper or door mat, sl.
For looking at a lady anywhere, $lO.
For shakiug hands with ladies 10 cents.
For squeezing said bands, sl.
For not squeezing said hands when " cir
cumstances favor," $lO.
For quoting French, 25 cents.
For writing one's name as Marie, Pollie,
Sallie, Maggie or Judie, sl.
For joining the Curbstoue Christian Asso
ciation and waiting at the church door to " see
the ladies come out,"sl.
For keeping the register of " whose engag
ed," $1 per name.
For noticing with whom any or everybody
walks, where they go, etc., for each indulgence
SSO.
For recordidg anything not strictly you own
business, SSO.
For reading your owu literary composition
to uny one, sl.
For doing the same to au editor, or offering
to do it SIOOO.
For borrowing anything, sl.
For staying later than 11 P. M., when call
ing, $5 per hour.
For using any hackney quotation, or slang
phraze 25 cents.
For always mentioning in connection with a
name that he or she is " very rich" or " poor
as Job," sl.
For pointing out a millionare, 25 cents
For talking of your appetite, or diseases, or
describing what you like to eat or driuk, or
when you change your flannels, sl.
JOKE ON GENERAL KELLEY. —The Wbeel
iug Intelligencer is responsible for the follow
ing : —A pretty good joke is told on General
Kelley, or rather, ou the officers of his staff.
When the General was after the guerrillas
some time ago, down in Wirt and Calhoun
couuties, he captured a very rebellious young
vvomao, by the name of Sallie Dusky, daugh
ter of Daniel Dusky, who was sent to the peni
tentiary from this city for robbing tbe mail at
Ripley, and a sister of Captain Andy and
George Dusky. The General, feeling confi
dent that the girl knew the hiding places of
the guerrillas, had a private conversation with
her, and during the iuterview, having failed
to get much satisfaction, he told her if she
would make a cleau breast of it he would give
her the chance for a husband of all the young
officers in his staff This failed to bring the
information, aud Sallie was taken away in
charge of Captain Baggs. As she moved away
from the General's presence, she asked the
Captain if the General was really iu earnest
in makiDg the last proposition. Baggs as
sured her that the General was sincere, and
that he would have lived up to bis promise.—
The girl assumed a kind of thoughtful manner,
and after a short time replied : " Well, 1 be
lieve I'd about as leave have tbe old man
(meauiog himself) as any of 'em."
VOL. XXIII. —NO. 16*
A capital story is told u.s of an old
farmer in the northern part of ibis county,
who had been " saving up" to take up a mort
gage of $2,000 held against him by a man
nearer the sea shore. The farmer bad saved
up all the money in gold, fearing to trust the
: banks in these war times. Week before last,
I be lugged down his gold and paid it over, when
* the following coloquy ensued :
" Why, you, don't mean to give this $2,00(1
in gold, do you ?" said the lender.
" Yes, certainly," said the farmer. " I was
afraid of the pesky banks, so I've been saving
up the money, in yellow boy's, for this loDg
time."
" All right," responded the lender, " only I
| thought you didn't take the papers."
" Take the papers ! No sir, not I. Tbey
have gone on so since the war's been a going,
that I won't have one of the d—lish things
around. But the money is all right, isn't it?"
i " Yes, all right, $2,000 in gold. All right
here's your note and mortgage."
And well he might call it all right, as the
premium on gold that day was 22 per cent.,
! and his gold was not only worth the face of
his bond, but $440 besides, enough to have
paid for his village newspapers for himself and
posterity for at least three centuries. It pays
to take the papers.— Nor walk {Conn.) Ga-
I zelte.
RICH W ITHOI'T MONF.V.—Many a man is
rich without money. Thousands of meu with
out a dollar in the pocket are rich. A man
; born with a good sound constitution, a good
stomach, a good heart and good limbs, aud a
pretty good head piece, is rich. Good bones
are better than gold—tongh muscles, than sil
ver ; and nerves that Hash and carry energy to
every function, are better than bouses aud
' lands.
It is better than a lauded estate to have the
; right kind of fathers and mothers. Good
breeds exist among men as really as among
herds and horses. Education may do much to
check evil tendencies, or to develop good ones;
but it is a greater thing to inherit the righ pro
portion of faculties to start with.
lhe man is rich who has a good disposition
| —who is naturally kind, cheerful, patient,
hopeful, aud who has a flavor of wit and fun
in his disposition. The hardest thing to get
along with is a man's own self. A cross, sel
fish, desponding and complaiuing fellow is a
timid, care burdened man—is deformed on the
inside. His feet may not limp, but his tho'ts
do.
Major Brodtback, of the twelfth Ken
tucky regiment, is a great favorite with his
men. He is a German, and although a strict
disciplinarian aud a regular soldiers, he is not
always severe. An instance of his humor is
thus related :
Several of his men were reported drank.—
1 pon visiting them, the Major exclaimed :
" Here I here ! here !" said he, " What's
all this ?"
" Major, dear," one of them replied, " you
know we've been (hie) cooped up a long time
and when a feller gets a chance (hie) he's apt
to go it."
" Wat's the matter with you ?"
" Tight ; that's all."
"What you been drinking ?"
" Lager."
" Well, dat is better as the measles."
So he lets them off.
SENSIBILITY OK A CONQUEROR. —The morning
after the battle of Waterloo, Dr. Hume wait
ed upon the Duke of Wellington to report the
list of the killed and wounded, and to take big
directions. He found him worn out with fa
tigue and buried in a deep slumber. When
awakened he was ready for the duty, and com
manded the doctor to read the list which took
him more than an hour. The doctor looked
up at once, aud saw the Iron Duke wringing
his hands in sorrow, while the big tears rolled
down his cheeks. Though knowing that his
country woald be intoxicated with joy at what
he had achieved, and would be ready to load
him with its highest honors, he displayed no
thought of personal glory, aud no unbecoming
exultation over a fallen enemy, but felt as a
mau who had discharged a solemn duty at a
painful sacrifice of human life and happiness.
Bet?* A Texan and Illinois farmer were
speakiug of raising corn, eic., and the Illinois
man was boasting of the superior yield of prai
rie land, and telling large stories as all west
ern men can do, to which the Texan replied s
" I'll tell you what, stranger, they truly make
large corn in your clearing, but it aiu't a cir
cumstance to what we raise on the Colrado
bottoms. Why, the corn there averages thir
ty feet iu height, with twelve ears to a stalk,
aud a goure full of shelled corn at the top."
fta?* " Jeems, my lad, keep away from the
gals. A'en you see one coming, dodge, Just
such a young critter as that youug 'un clear
ing the door step on 'tother side of the street,
fooled yer dad, Jimmy. If it hadn't been for
her, you and yer dad might have been in Cali
fornia hunting dimes, my son."
At a debating society the subject wa
" Which is the sweetest production, a girl or
a strawberry ?" After continuing the argc
ment for two Dights the meeting finally ad
journed without coming to a conclusion —the
older ones going for the strawberries aud the
young ones for the girls
BSAD old maid, who was over-Dice in re
gard to cleanliness about ber bouse, once
scrubbed her sitting-room floor until abe fell
through iuto the cellar.
s®* I have known a good old man— says
Bernard—who, when he has heard of any one
that had committed any notorious offenoe, was
wont to say within himself, " He fell to-day
so I may to-morrow."
Wfir He who can't conceal bis vexation is
& laughing stock for his cueoaUi