0® DOLLAR PER ANNUM iNVARIABLY IN ADVANCE.
TOWANDA:
Thursday Morniag, December 26, 1861.
Shlttttb soetrj.
AN ELEGY ON THE DEATH OF A MAD DOG.
With Notes, Suppositious, Emendations, and Variations,
bv JOHN A. XAFBS, EFQ ., sometimes called JACE A.
JIVM
Good people all, of every sort,
Give ear uute my song ;
And if you Bud it wondrous short,
I cannot hold you long.
In Washington there was a man,*
Of *rh im the world might say,
That still a goodly -ace he ran
Whene'er he went to pray.f
A kind and gentle heart he had
To comfort friends and foes ;
The naked every day lie clad—
When he pnt on his clothes. J
And in that town a dog|| was found,
As many dogs there lie.
Both mongrel, puppy, whelp, and hound,
And ems of low degree.
Tin's do g and man at first were friends,
But when a pique began,
The dog, to gain his private ends,
Went mad and bit the mau.§
Around front all the neighboring strectslT
The wondering neighbors ran.
And -wore the dog had lost his wits
To bile so good a man.
The wound it seemed both sore and sad
To every Christian eye.
And while they sw ire the'dog was mad,
They swore the nun would die.At
B it soon a wonder came to light
That showed the rogues they lied—
The man recovered of the bile.
The dog it was that died.
•This man is our dear old Uncle Sara, a good old fellow
in the main.
■fVariation—" Would alWayf work anl
iVariation—" With ootu>n*under clothe-.'
'lt no* known wh.it ilog w meant here : many think
iL.it President Buchanan i- without doubt alluded to, but
they lorgot the cluiu of Eiojd. The question at this
An' dav will have to lie left in doubt. Had the author
-aid nh'l h und 110 doubt would exist—" enre of low de
gree however, would include a 1 secession.
■Vine dojr crppt Dp an. sn<-akin-lv hit I n e Sam deep.
" Evidently a misprint. It should lie States ; but we
do not like til take lihert - with the writing of others.
aud leave the line without altfi-atii 11.
tgi'u lt several different Loudon Timts, aud other Kind
" Iriends in council."
.Sflcctcb £ a 11.
3S Mm
A STORY OF WHEAT BETHEL.
BY M. A DEXISOX.
CHAPTER I.
" Ther J is only oue man in the American
irmy that 1 care about sliootiug, tiad to kill
liitn 1 would risk tuy life."
This speech made bitterly strong by ac
cent and a suppressed voice ; was uttered by
a young man aho satin military undress at
the breakfast table of a southern planter. I'ale
and sallow, with strongly marked features and
alack eyes, he presented a fair contrast to the
fair skinned, sunny haired wife he had won
fruin the North. Though a young man. Lieu
tenant Marks was addicted to many vices.gatn
biiug and love of strong drink being not the
least among liietn.
" And pray who may that be. Lieutenant?''
asked his host, a slender, swartbrowued man.
You don't kuow him, uncle, have never
in aii probability heard me mention his name,
it is (Irebie of the army. He was at West
Paint with me, and if ever I hated a man it
*as him. He offered me a deadly insult once.
Hid would neither fight nor apologize. I told
am then 1 would have satisfaction sooner or
"tier, and now it is my time "
" Wouldn't fight, cb ? coward, then, was
I k ?"
O, of course—explained it all away on
je >core of religious principle. Religions fid
die-ticks ! he was just going to be married,
M didn't want his precious life cut short "
" Ye that's the way with those Yankees,"
M the uuele with an oath " The most
Went set of liars, slanderers, ruffians, cowards
•od humbugs that ever existed. I hate the
'-7 fames of the pale canting sneaks. O, it
*ould do me good to see a hundred out of ev
"! hang up, auother hundred shot and
quartered, aud the rest put where they ought
to have been long ago, uuder the whip. I
d-'test the whole race—l beg your pardon Mrs.
j -l' 4r ks— l had entirely forgotteu your Nor
lOern proclivities."
My wife has forgotteu them herself," said
!, ' e J-'duteiiaiit in a harsh, quick voice, cast
- on awfu! glance towards her, in which was
"threat. "She always, I belive, professed
* o the South. She is a Northern womau
, Southern principles, or she would uever
become my wife."
1n re was a faint look of scoro on the fea
, a -light curl of the lip that would have
grayed muck to a close ooserver of both
■rratid unhappiuess in the countenance of
-She did manage to say with some
'f usion of spirit in her voice—" If I were
1 no loyal to the North, I should not dare
, rure-s my sentiments with any kind of
kou don't allow liberty of Rpeech
t A terrible frowu darkened the Lieutenant's
f" r a moment as he east a glance towards
which she avoided.
f rJ- }'is, we allow liberty of speech on the
1 wile, suiiJ their host, laughing. " But
un ' me w h p re this Greble is, aud who ?"
Be is at present iu command of a bat
? at Fortress Monroe," said Lieutenant
r ' s - excitedly. " They are rapidly increas
'-heir forces there."
" he a New Yorker ?"
j, - a Pbiladelphiau. He is a fellow
4 mup h of by hit superior officers, nd
of the ladie®,'" he added with a
lo crowj all lie is mighty moral.'' '
THE BRADFORD REPORTEft.
"So he ia in Fortress Monroe. I hear
that one Gen. Butler, a Yankee lawyer, ha,
ha ! is depnted to take that post. I fancy
him a lean, long slabsiaed fellow with a hook
ed nose and a nasal accent, I expect I should
split my sides with laughing to see one of
their regiments."
" Perhaps yon will have that opportnoity,"
said Kate Marks demurely. The fire smould
ered in her eyes and a red spot touched ei
ther cheek, but her voice was calm, her lips
were smiling
" Perhaps ; who knows ! By Jove ! I'd
give two of my best negroes to see a field cov
ered with Northern troops.—To tell the tiuth
there is nothing martial about them ; those I
have seen. Who could expect it when they
come from the lapstone and the forge."
" I beg to remind you that you may not
have seen all our northern soldiers," said Kate
Marks, as quietly as before.
" Kate, take care !" exclaimed her hnsband,
the latent ferocity of hi nature bursting out
" By the heavens above ns, if a member of
my family has one spark of sympathy for the
North I'll find away to qnench it."
" Don't be harsh or Mrs. Marks. It's aeon
founded shame she should be northern by pirth.
The southern regine just suit her bearing and
beauty. She would make a fine court lady
now."
CHAPTER 11.
" Kate, yon must be careful how you talk
here," said Lieutenant Marks, entering his
wife's sitting room a few hoars afterward.—
Kate sat on a low seat, most exquisitely at
tired. A white lace dress over an nnder robe
of pale blue. The hair confirmed now by a
silver net, took on a few gleams of the sun. and
glittered whenever she moved it. A soft flush
touched her chteks, and she seemed inte it up
on the volume she was reading, the young
wife looked up slowly from her book.
" Will you repeat what you said ?" she
remarked coolly.
" I tell you, you must be careful how you
talk in this house," he exclaimed more excited
ly than before.
" O, certainly," she replied in a calm unmov
ed tone.
" Perdition take you apathy," he exclaimed.
" What in—(and he n<ed a terrible oath) are
you reading all this time ?"
" I am reading the Bible now," she re
plied
" Hell and furies ! I dou't want you to read
the Bible."
" Not want me read the Bible?" she asked,
glancing up in no unfeigned surprise.
" No, not as you read it—a devilish abo
lition humbug. I know you Kate Mark-.
With all jour hvpocraey, you can't fool me
You'd take our children and go North to
morrw, among those infernal Yaukees you left,
if yon could get away "
" Do you think so ?"
" Do I thinK so ? Sit there now and en
rage me with your cold, cursed Northern tern
perameut—do I think so ? I kuow so. l>ut
let me tell you if worse conies to worse, I'd
whip my wife into submission as soon as I
would tnv niggers."
" You are a brave man Lieutenant Marks,"
No language can descrbe the cool irony of her
words The man to whom they were uttered
grew still darker with suppressed passion.
" And a soldier !" she added, with marked
emphasis.
He strode toward her, clenching his hands
till they were purple She sprang from her
seat, tor one moment changing into dame
she almost shrieked :
( " And a traitor 1 now touch me if you
dare."
He fell back awed by her manner, bat fu
rious with the hot rage tugging at his bosom.
'• Fool that I was !" he muttered, "to
think to crush out the inborne baseness of the
Yankees. Take care Kate—there are other
ways, and I'll subdue that proud spirit of
; yours if I loose my soul for it."
He turned to leave the room, but at that
moment a childish voice was heard along the
passage. The tone was sweet as music, but
the cry kindled the Are in the heart of the
sicesdonist to a fiercer heat.
" Hoorah or the 6tars and stripes !"
" Who taught that to the child ?" he shout
ed with a fierce glance.
The mother looked troubled, almost fright
ened, as agaiu resounded through the hall the
rich clear tones.
" Hooah for the stars and stripes !"'
Another moment and a glorious vision ap
peared A boy of some five summers exceed
ingly beaut fu!, his light curls vailing the
rounded throat and dimpled shoulders, and in
bis hand a small American flag, which he
waved with the exultant shont, " Iloorah for
the stripes and stars," almost in his father's
face.
"Give me that, sir 1" exclaimed the Lieu
teuaut.
The boy put on bis metel by the qniek, in
dignant voice, laughing rouguisbly, but held
the flag behiud him.
" I tell you to give me that eursed flag ?"
cried the man, his face more and more stem,
his eyes more glowing.
" No, no, Willie want it," replied the child.
" It's Willies flag. Hoorah for the stripes
and stars !'' and he sprang to his mother's
side,
" Don't you dare to say that again," caid
the Lieutenant.
" Yes I will," cried the child definaptly.
"O, Wille, say uo—it is naughty, Willie,"
pleaded his mother The boy looked up half
subdued by her tearful eyes, but he at the
same time caught sight ola small lasn which
his father produced. Immediately he straight
ened himself up, the Southern blood grew hot
iu his little veins.
" So, you will, will you ?" exclaimed the
Lieuteuaut, catching at the flag aud rend
ing it iu a thosaud pieces, " you will, will
you ?"
" Yes I- will I" cried the boy unshrink
iugly.
" O, husband, don't whip him.'
" I'll beat every drop of Yankee biood out
PUBLISHED EVERY THURSDAY AT TOWANDA, BRADFORD COUNTY, PA., BY E. 0. GOODRICH.
of bis veins, cried the savage, his brain heat
ed by the potations be had swallowed since
morning. " Now, sir—are you sorry for what
you said !"
" Say yes, Willie,' whispered the trem
bling woman.
" No I was the fiercer response.
Down came the whip on the fare arms of
the boy. His lips grew white, but bis eyes
were tearless.
" Say yon hate that ; say you are sorry
yon touched it."
" No, no—l won't.'
Twice, thrice the lash decended.
" Stop, husband j the child doo't know
what he says. Stop and let me reason with
him."
" Let you reason with him !—From you he
got his iufarnel Yankee stubbornness."
He seized the child firmly by the arm, and
brutally pushing his wife aside, he dragged
him after him. Kate following, was cut short
by the sudden shutting of a door and a bolt
drawn on the other side.
" O, my child," criod the suffering woman,
" he will kill him—he knows no mercy, my
Willie—my darling. Oh! aui I not sufficient
ly punished, my Father ?"
Suddenly came the piercing shrieks of the
child and souud of blows,
CHAPTER M.
Flying from the room Kate sought egress
by another door,but that also the brave soldier
had uoi forgotten to lock, and throwing her
self upon her knees the agonized mother wept
in wild, ungovernable sorrow. Not long after
the Lieutenant returned
' I've whipped the devil out of him ' he said
brutally ; ' now you can go and see hirn. Aud
mind, none of yoar infernal nonsense by kissing
aud coaxing, and encouraging his damned in
subordination I'd have shot a man in my
ranks that would have said half that boy Das '
He was silenced by the look she gave him.—
Those glaring eyes and set teeth told what she
might expect in defence of her child. Flving
through the now open door, she ran np stairs
almost with the swiftness of wings, and enter
ed the room where the Lieuteant had conquer
ed bis boy. With a great but tearless sob she
flew to the couch upon which he lay extended
his little cheeks so rosy before, now quite color
less, his eyes swolen and circled with deep hues
of purple. He faintly sighed and smiled,while
she, bunding above him, clasped him wildly in
her arms, crying, ' Oh, Lord, how long 7
'Mamma—papa—beat me—as he beat black
Bill I' and the little lips quivered, the big tears
rolled down his cheeks, while sob after sob, so
continuous that they seemed ready to burst his
little heart came up from his bosom.
' My precious one, your teuder body—oh !
my darling, why didn't you mind papa, then
he wouldn't have beat you.'
' I did say it—be can't stop me,' exclaimed
the child, his weak voice growing stronger—
' I would say it, if he killed me,' he cried, stop
ping bissobsand tears. Such language from
a child astouished his mother.
' Won't you tell mother who gave you the
flag, darling !'
' Yes I'll tell you. I found it up in the gar
riet, At old Ben told me to hurrah for the stars
and stripes. But pa would have killed him,
wouldu't he V
' My brave, heroic boy !'cried his mother,
lifting him again to her bosom. After some
moments of soothing, poor Willie sank into a
troubled slumber. Kate sat watching him at
the window near by, when the sound of horses
feet were suddeuly heard breaking the sileuce.
In another moment a mounted trooper appear
and was bailed from one of the windows be
low.
' Work on hand,' cried the trooper excited
ly. 'We are ordered down to the Junction
immediately.'
' I'll be there,' was the ready response, and
soon oue of the servants appeared leading two
horses. The Lieuteuaut and his uucle mount
ed.
'There'll be hot work, I expect/ said the
trooper.
" I hope so,' responded Lieatenant Murks,
who was half maddened by bis strong pota
tions. ' I hope we shall wipe out every bloody
Union man. War to the knife, that's my cry;'
and tbey were off.
An hour passed by, and a slave come into
the room where Kute still watched by her boy
to inform her that supper was ready.
' Ben,' said Kate to the slave, ' why didn't
Martha come V
' Oh, Missus, I come cause I wished for to
beg pardon of young massa, au'o' yon too.—
'Pears as if I get into trouble too serious in my
old age. 'Deed, I wasn't thinking any harm
when 1 tole Willie to harrah for tie stars aud
stripes. O, I's a poor unfortinit nigga, honey,
for to bring snffrin on young massa Willie '
' It was as you say very unfortunate,' said
Kate, 'and you may thank Willie for not tell
ing of you. 1 am not sure but Mr. Marks
would have shot you if be had fouud you out.'
The slave kissed his little master aud retir
ed.
CHAPTER IV.
' Ila, ba ! yes, I settled him, and I'll settle
more before long.'
' Hang 'em np, I say, or shoot 'em down—no
quarters to the dogs. I'd kill a dying man if
I thought him a traitor to the Sooth.'
'So would I, aud glory in it, too. Did yon
bear what they did with Steele I'
' No —what was it ?'
' Cut off his ears, nnd hnng him np with his
knees bent double, in sight of water. Every
time he groaned with thirst they would at him
to know if he would support the secessionists,
but he was pluck to the end. Too bad he
couldn't have been on our side ; we want such
men.'
'And there was Goodrich—born in the North
somewhere, "Vermont, 1 believe, he had the
foolbardiness to declare himself a Union man
and the stubborness to stick to it. We hunted
him op one night last week, and where do you
think we found bim? Why snuggly tucked np
like a child put to bed without his supper in
broad daylight. The way we routed bim,bow-
" RE9ARDLESS OF DENUNCIATION FROM ANT QUARTER."
ever wasn't slow. He didn't care for himself,
however, only the women folks. His wife and
two daughters pleaded for him. Well,we ask
ed him if he would be true to the South ?
' What! and a traitor to my country ?' says
he. 'Shall I, wife ? Shall I, daughters V and
the blabbering fools said, ' no.'
' I hope you shot them all.'
' Oh, no ; we let the women a,lone, but told
him he must make tracks within ten hours so
he left. But our boys got uneasy befory tbey
neared the wharf, and nothing must do but
they must hang him, so hang hitn tbey did.'
' Good ! and his family think he has escap
ed ?'
' Ob, yes—or not dead some one may hare
told them by this time—but, curse bis stab
born temper, it was his own fault, a word
would have saved him.'
' Hang 'em and shoot 'em say I—l would
not trust a Yankee on his oath.'
So said Lieutenant Marks. It was at the
table of his uncle that the jolly crew were
seated, furnishing their horrible incidents of
the reign of terror now invading' our fair coun
try. There were six officers beside the host,
and they seemed to have conclu Jed the busi
ness for which they had assembled, by the ap
pearance of the board which was being laid for
a dinner of no ordinary style. At length the
repast was ready and they sat down.
4 Here's to the confusion of old Lincoln the
beggar, and may he have tho honor of dying
by the hand of a concealed Southern.' This
was receivedjwith shouts of ' bravo!' and re
sponded to by a renegade Northerner, who, to
win a pair of yellow shoulder knots had betray
ed his country. Another was given : 'Here's
to the base-born shoemakers of the old coun
try ; we measure their chivalry by their soles?'
'There's your aid, Colonel, galloping like a
mad man '
' News ! news !' and they awaited his com
ing in silence. A slender bailt young man,
some twenty years of age, came iuto the room,
and handed a paper to his superior officer.
' All right ' was the reply. ' Boys, one par
ting glass and then for business. Our battery
is completed, our artillery mounted, our pre
seuce is required. Now let's drink confusion
to the euetny —may their greatest be a retreat
hip, hip, and a 'umultuous huzza filled the
room.
' Information has been received, we learn
from a spy, that the enemy, whirb meaus old
Yankee Butler and his runaway, half starved
volunteers, are aware of our vicinity, and we
are spoiling for a fight. Before morning I
promise you Big Bethel, and the long-legged
Northerners shall see such a victory on our
side as they uever wituessed before. Come
on.'
' May the fiends give me my wish,' murmur
ed Lieutenant Marks I'd sell myself to Satan
to have one clear shot at Greble, if he is in
this eugagemeut.'
Meantime, in the darkness of the night the
soldiers sent from the Fortress were marching
wearily along their only rest that of waiting for
the snrf boats ; and for thirteen long miles,
foot sore and weary, they poshed their toil
some way, animated by the hope of a speedy
encounter with the enemy that had so long
evaded them. Adv aucing in order upon Little
Bethel, they were suddenly thrown iuto great
confusion by a volley of musketry in the rear.
'The euemy are upon us—they are cutting
off our reserve 1' exclaimed the Colonel. The
order was given like lightning for a counter
march—and the men wearied as they were
with their long tranp I tnrned and ran in double
quick time for the distance of three miles.—
Ilere they were met by an aid :
' Gornl God 1' exclaimed Whittemore, who
heard the words,' our troops have been firing
into each other! Ascertain if many have
been killed.'
' The matter occupied but a short space of
time,' wus the reply ; * it is hoped that the loss
is not great.'
Orders were now given for an immediate ad
vance upon Great Bethel—and again thefoot
sore troops accomplished their march makiog
in all twenty-four miles, then to find an enemy
located in a strong position and able to poor
in a raking fire. Lieutenant Greble had mean
time given some parting words to a friend, an
officer near whom he stood.
' Where is the commanding officer ?' he ask
ed, seeing the confusion that at the first terri
ble fire prevailed. 'Why were not scouts sent
ahead? We shall be Bhot down like dogs.—
However—if I die, may my country profit by
my death. Farewell beloved, —he murmured
nnder his breath, as a thought reverted to the
young wife he had left at home—' and now for
victory or death.' For two hours the brave man
worked at his guns. Here and there the offi
cers passed him, crying out 'for God's sake, re
treat, Greble, your position is just the one for
a sure soht.'
' It is not my time to retreat,' he replied.
' At least,'cried Lieutenant Butler, 'take
the same care of yourself that others do—your
life is as valuable as theirs ; dodge the balls
as they do.'
' I never dodge I' shouted the glorious sol
dier, ' when I hear the notes of the bugle
sounding a retreat, I shall retreat, and not
before.'
CHAPTER v.
"We are picking them off bravely,"remark
ed one of the rebels, whose glass was leveled
in the direction of Col. Duryea's regiment;
aud aa be spoke, he drew down his glass and
refreshed himself with brandy from a pocket
flask.
" How do we get on?" enquired Lieutenant
Marks, whose blaokeued face aud hands prov
ed that he had not been idle in the fight.
" I think they will retreat," returned the
other, " they can't bear so much blood shed
on one side much longer. They have been in
a panic two or three times, aud they seem very
busy there bearing off their dead and wounded.
By heaveu 1 how we did bew them down.—
This will be a brilliant victory, Marks."
" Not to me," muttered the Lieutenant, re
vengefully, " unless I meet the enemy and s'ay
bim."
" There's an officer just stepped upon a log
!of wood," shouted a rebel drummer boy.—
Lend me your gun."
" There's a brave lad," said the first speak
er. " A promotion if you bring him down."
" Done," cried the boy, a gleam of savage
joy brightened his eye—and as our brave Win
throp fell, a shout arose in the rebel camp.
" That's a cool fellow," said one of the offi
j cers. " He'll silence all our guns, if we don't
drive him off. Marks, come here and sight this
man —the one there, working that cannon—
you are the best marksman here."
" Let me see the fellow," responded Lieut.
Marks, lifting his glass. " Ab, ha !" he yell
ed, with a cry of savage exultation, " why
didn't yoa tell me of this thing ? quick, before
he has time to limber up his gun—it looks as
if he was about it, no time to be lost—l'll
sight him as if the devil was at my elbow."
The fatal ball sped on—another cry from
Lieut. Marks that souuded like a yell, and so
perfectly iufernal in its character that the of
ficers crowded in a body to see what had been
done.
" Only a field officer," said a captain.
" lie silenced all our our guns but one, at
any rate," remarked another. "B7 George I
what an aim ; Marks ought to have a silver
medal. Ha I they are retreating, they re
treat."
" Keep up your fire, men," shouted Marks,
as with demoniac glee, he sprang from point
to point. " Give them h lon all sides—
that's it."
" But they are bearing off their dead."
" Fire, fire ! as if they were rotten sheep—
no matter for their dead ; I've had mv revenge
—that's the way, boys. Soch a glorious feast
as we'll have ou top of this ! We'll eat with
an appetite."
And then was consumated the unexampled
atrocities of an attack upon helpless, wouiided
soldiers, their surgeons and their sorrowing
brothers in arm 9. Shall not this be remem
bered in the days when our national accounts
are settled ?
" They are all gone," said Lieut Marks, re
conoitering. " Boys, meet me as many as can
at Yorktown, aud a feast shall crown our vic
tory. I'm going to see how matters look If
they had left Greble," he mattered to himself
—" but—ah ! this was the hand that ended
his life. I have made good my threat."
Slowly in the distance the wagon conveying
the bleeding soldiers to the fortress, while
Lieut. Marks, preceding the rest, hastily mark
ed the bodies that lay exposed. Turning over
an officer whom he supposed to be dead, there
followed a tremer of life—the dull eyes open
ed—the breath began to labor. Suddenly, as
if endowed with tuperhnman strength, the
wounded man sprang to his feet—and bis dy
ing glance fell on the distinguished marks of
the rebel officer he drew his revolver with a
motion like lightning. Three balls penetrated
the traitor's base heart. Greble was aveDged,
and Satan bad claimed his own
He was borne off by his sorrowing compan
ions, while the body of him whose last act had
baen that of retribution, was exposed to insult
and degraded by a heartless burial. Mrs.
Marks heard of ber husband's death without
a sigh. Disposing of her property, she and
her boy eame to the North, where she now
awaits with you aud me the termination oi this
great struggle for the Union—its stars and
stripes.
EXPAND THE CHEST. —Those in easy circum
stances, or who pursue sedentary indoor em
ployment, use their lungs but little, breathe
but little fresh air into their chest, and thus,
independent of position, contract a wretched
small chest, and lay the foundation of loss and
health and beauty. All this can be perfectly
obviated by a little attention to the manner of
breathing. Recollect that the lungs are like
a bladder in their construction, and can be
stretched open to doubt their size with perfect
safety, giving a noble chest and immunity from
consumption. The agent, aud the only agent
we require is the air we breathe, supposing,
however,that no obstacle exists externally,such
as tying it round with stays, or having the
shoulder lie upon it. On arising from your
bed in the morning, place yourself io an erect
position, the shoulders thrown entirely off the
chest ; now inhale all the air you can, so that
no more can be got in ; now hold your breath,
and throw your arms off behind you, holding
your breath as long as possible. Repeat these
long breaths as often as you please. Doue in
a cold room it is much better, because the air
is denser aud will act much more powerfully
in expaudiug the chest. Exercising the chest
in this manner, it will enlarge the capability
aud sise of the lungs.
THE WATCH OF GEN. WASHINGTON. —We
were shown, says the Louisville Journal, a
gold watch of the olden time, which is of
great valne as a memento of an important
event in American history. The watch was a
present from Gen. Washington to Gen Lafay
ette, and bears the following fnscription on
the back of inner case : —" G. Washington
to Gilbert Mattiers de Lafayette. Lord Corn
wall's capitnlation, Yorktown, December It,
1761.' The watch is of London manufacture
and was made in 1760. It i 9 said that the
watch was taken to San Francisco from Par is
by a Frenchman, who become embarrassed
there, and sold it to the present owner for the
soui of fifty dollars.
A mule passed through San Jose, Cal
ifornia, recently, with a foal by her side, which
from unquestionable evidence is the actual, le
gitimate, bona fide progencv of said mule. One
or two instances of this kind are on record,
but they are very rare. Henry Clay, we be
lieve, owned a mule that brought forth a colt.
Another case occurred in Texas some years
ago.
Never fancy a womans esteem for
your character equal to her admiration of your
whiskers—if you happen to have nice pair.
The foibles of the weak palliate the
vices of the wicked.
VOL. XXII. —NO. SO.
Humorous Letter from the Army.
The Boston Post bus the following good ua
tored, Mark Taply species of letters from one
of its correspondents :
QAMP GINPOWOER, ARMY or THE POTOMAC,
Nov. 1861.— Dear Messrs. Editors: —Biily
Briggs and 1 still remuin in tbe army. The
other morning I was standing by bim in cur
tent, "ilaud me theru scabbards, Jimmy,' said
he. " Scabbards I" said 1, looking round.
" Yes, boots, I mean." Billy arrauged himself
in his scabbards, a dilapidated pair of fashion
able boots, and stood up in a very erect and
dignified manner. " Those boots of mine Z
don't think were any relation to that beef we
had for dinner to-day Jimmy," said he. " No,"
said I. "If they wore ouly as tough as that
beef, and vice versa, it would have been
better."
" I say, Cradle,"be called out, " where are
you ?"' Cradle was our contraband, a genuine
darkey, with a foot of extraordinary length
and extra heels to match, giving him a quet-r
look about these extremities. " What do you
call him Cradle for, Billy ?" said I ; " that's
a queer name." " what would you call him,
Jimmy ? if hcaint a cradle, what is he put ou
rockers for ?" Cradle appeared with a pair
of perforated stockings. " It's no use," 6aid
Billy, looking at them. " Them stockings
will do tojput on a soar throat ,|but they won't
do for feet. Its a humiliating thing for a man
like me to be without stockings ; a man may
be bald-headed audit's genteel,but to be bare
footed is ruinatiou. The sleevs is good, too,"
he added, thoughtfully, " but the feet are
gone. There is something about the heels of
stocking and the elbows of stove pipes iu this
world that is all wrong, Jimmy."
A supply of stockings had come that day and
were just being given ; a paifc of very large
ones fell to Billy's lot. Billy held them up
before him. "Jimmy," said he, "those are
pretty bags to give a littlejfellow like'm. Them
stockings was kuit for the l'resideut or a young
gorilla, certain;'' and he was about to bestow
them upon Cradle, when a soldier in the op
posite predicament made an exchange. "Them
stockings made me thiuk of the Louisana vol
unteer I scared so the other day," said Billv.
" How's that ?" Laid I. " lie was among our
prisoners and saw a big pair of red leggins
with feet, hanging up before a teut. He never
said a word till be saw the leggins, and then
be asked me what they were for." " Them 1"
said I, " them is Ueueral Banks's stockings.—
He looked scared. " lie's a big man is Gen.
Banks," said I, but theu he ought to be, the
way he lives." "How?" said he. "Why,'
said I, " his regular diet is bricks buttered
with mortar." The next day Billy got a pre
sent of a pair of stcckings from a lady ; a nice
soft pair,with his initials in red silk upon them,
lie was very happy "Jimmy," said he "just
look at them," and he smoothed them down
with his baud; " marked with my initials, too,
'B' for my Christian and 'W' for my beathcu
name. How kind ! They eame just in the right
time, too; I've got such a sore heel; for it's a
fact, Jimmy, that if there is anything in life
worse than unrequited love, it's a sore heel."
Orders came to " fail iu." Billy was so over
joyed with his new stockings, he didn't know
the line very well. " Steady, there !'' growl
ed the sergeant, "keep your place and don't be
traveling around like u Boston Po6t Office."—
We were soon put upon double-qnick. After
a few minutes, Billy gave a groan. " What
is it, Billey," said I. " It's all up with them,'
said he I didn't know what he meant, but
his face showed something very bad had hap
pened. When we broke ranks, Billy hurried
to the tent, and when I got there, there he
he stood, the very picture of despair with his
shoes off, and his heels shining through his
stockings like two crockery door knobs.—
" Them new stockings of yours is breech load
ing, ain't they, Billy 1' said an unfeeling volun
teer. " Better get your name on both ends,so
you can keep them together,'' said another.—
"Shoddy stockings, Brooks Bros," said a
third. Billy was silent; I saw his heart was
breaking, and I said nothing. We held a
ccuucil on them, and Billy, not feeling-hearted
enough for the task, gave them to Cradle,with
directions to sew up the small holes. I came
into the tent soon after, and he was drawing
a portrait with a piece of charcoal,on a board.
" That's a good portrait of Fremont," said
I, " he looks just like that; that's the way he
parts his hair, in the middle." " That isn't a
portrait of Fremont " said Billy, it's a map of
the United States; that line in the middle yon
thought was the part in his hair is the Missis
sippi river.
" Oh !" said I. I saw hirn again before sup
per ; he came to me, looking worse than ever,
the stockings in his hand. " Jimmy," said he,
" yon know I gave them to Cradle and told
him to sow np the small holes,and what do you
think he's do: c ? He*? gone and sewed np tho
ftearlsV " It*s a hard case, Jimmy," said I,
" in such a case tears are almost justifiable."
THINGS THAT I HAVE SEEN. —I have seen a
farmer build a house so large and fiue that tUo
sheriff turned him out of doors.
I have seen young men sell a good farm,
turn merchant, break, and die in the iusauo
hospital.
I have seen a farmer travel about so much
that there was nothing at home worth looking
after.
I have seen a rich man's son begin where
his father left off -wealthy ; and end where
his father began—penniless.
I have seen a worthy farmer's son idle away
years of the prime of his life in diss'patiau.ftud
end his career in the poor bouse.
I have seen the disobedience of a son bring
down the gray hairs of his father iu sorrow to
the grave.
The blnsh of true modesty is like the
soul of a rose in the heart of a lilly.
I©- We reason a good deal when we eat,
more from necessity than knowledge.
•©- Men of heedless charity makes more
beggars than usuers do.