Bradford reporter. (Towanda, Pa.) 1844-1884, June 27, 1861, Image 1

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fSS A N DoLA. .
nu swy Jane 27 ' 1861-
gilcttU) f octrjT.
HAirera ME.
It cuti its aroUud :
nn* wi-h poisonous tongue
irtuc to coafounJ.
yk*e frienu* arouatl me—•®ek to blast
v, ropuUt' on Lngbt :
i;v cliiracter to UigLl.
knot stern Justice satined.
That innocence is mine ■
I am free from that d ' rk
From that most horrid crime -
"lea wb/ still seek ,0 villi'/^
" A nd sbn der n '- v S 00 *" nim# '
I * b j- labor so deter mind!'.
j; T Tiriue to defame'
. ije cause, ye slanderers,
i-d fctop je ' a J'uur path ,
i d Htßih. and lit I * w a t>
, ~
v- - deeds, in gath ring * rata.
..lit -aot holy,just end good,
Ej 1 reposed ray tru,t ;
v ), I :ear what man can do,
, to J,pringol the dut.
T . ; doth give me his support.
, strength go ou ;
, r -1i uI li disclaim,
if ia him a.oue.
c I'• the Eagle'a wings.
, jr o • ild's away ;
- A u.: avn holy lig'at Illumes.
-_ t e -.rnal day.
tracly every tie,
;■ b ads rae here. 1 C loose;
tave tor ta.U blest worid oa high,
i.i jo w'acre none traduce.
•-tw be the slanderer's reign,
isding h':es of even ;
j; hjv 1 ne r torgct the words.
X Ig trat b-lt lit tCf.'t."
Selected £ 811.
Tale of a Handkerchief.
T , hrg rmr i sir.i -n
r first si... k. r was a fashionably dressed
I ; . Tneir > Mat.on was tiie most em
A rin th-j world, for as the gentleman
ft coraer ol tne sircel he ha.l been
ft ediy confronted by the ta.r damsel.
W .cession of di-spera'.e eQorts to pass
•.■.-iiiie collisions, ai.-l mutual attractions
s >tis analogous to the mm oeuvres of
• r.tntiel pith balls, they bail come to a
■.I!. Tne t'lnsb on the laiiy s cheek,
gh deep and rich as the crimson on a
c rlond, was nearly equalled by the cor
| as; hue of the gentleman's tare. One
| movement oil his part to
\ Tfiv antagonist, was unfortunately sec
|. •. a simultaneous effort of hers; and
r-< n'.iuost irreprcss.nie mirth on the
k! race o' his companion, who stood s
' V; i; -tui t to watch tiie issue ol tne ren
ne gentleman raised his hat from his
, and, m ;tc. zat right angle directly to
t cd -; gne utterance to tiie above
I i.i. i. ci e -ited ins fc'iow trom tiie
l - the v. ..g iauv. With a bow and
1.. ce fr. ', li-- bright eyes of mingled
n-aent and vexation, she availed her>elt
-rttreat, an.t passed on, entering a shop
; o stance bi iow. Our hero ca-t ins
' ■ t'i h ill as *!i" went by; Hi.d noticing
B t 11 dropped irar haudkerchief, he iras
.it op, and was Oil tlie point of fol
-1 - - to return it, when, observing a
: e comer, he paused, coo by po.kat
i"tie latter received huu with mock
• • merr iuent evidently fi.ied his
; u.e ve-y brim
-m ;' *is h:s sa'ntation. " Ralph,
l '" i luck today ; I envy you your
*th <o charming a neighbor.—
now, don't wa-t your kissses in
; t it bankerchief ; without doubt
'•* i .4 r pr -oner of war ; but be mag
• s leveit to me It shall be
t stjle, an ; re.. e:*e my
''■"'t H'.oration "
15 0 i im? to gag von with it, Harry,"
5 irritated friend. "Could you
e ' a; s<;,>e enough not to staud grm
' 1 *as aii in a presperation with
" thl# get out of my scrape. You
•isasiich htuitasa rotteu pear, liar
-' yen have not a much sweetness as
- cra t-ipp ~, Riiph," replied the
Ilarry. " Oh, that partial
£ " ne, if s;e h a( j only put me iu
' -11 ? e ad," cxclamrd Ralph, ve
1 shou d like to know if any
, * s- '• ! l-.ood afire. You arc
Harry, "draw it raiid : I
s , aa; houie this morn ng. But
i *eet divinities so euchuuting on
. B-eci on, eh V
- • you," cried hi* friend, in a
i ' ; " its the tibrd lime Fee
" of myaatf before her, aiid she s
•-1 vt !r -, by Jave !"
" 5 ■ 0 3 love, is she ?" chockleti
i _. J " i * romantic rendezvous you
il. : 4i -e fragrance on the pelocid
■■ Biiiion aud Amarylii
11, ' * • expo>tuitri poor Ralph
k 4 ' 'o li pitiless turmenior
f b. U,J 7->a wn; to cut a feiiow up so
I |f ■
it yoa oust know woera I
seen her, I'll tell you, just to put a ftonp>r
in the biitighole of that barrel of nonsense
which you call your liead. The day before
yesterday I was descending from the exhi
bition, and got wedged among a bevy of la
dies, whose abundant crinoline nearly extin
guished me. I devoting the energy
o! toy nature to the one object of reducing
myself to the least compass, and was con
gratulating myself on never having felt so
small before, when uufoi tunately in.ssing a
step, 1 only saved myself from diving head
long into that sea of beauty by involuntarily
clapping my bands on the talma before me
At the same tune 1 was conscious of a myste
rious entanglement of my loot, and a situ
ulluneous noise of silk that set all my teetn
on edge for ail hour afterwards. My fare
supporter turned round iu wonder and as
toinshuient at my audacity, and gathered up
her torn dress in stately reserve, while I stain
Acred out my apologies as well as I could.
But the utters that greeted my ears oa every
side made me endure agonies untold, until I
escaped from the press, and vanish d. Well,
that was bad enough ; bat my second rencon
tre was twice as excruciating. Yeste dry af
ternoou 1 was going out to dine with a friend
at li.ixtou, and as i was somewhat belated,
1 bulled an omnibus to save time. The dri
ver rolled his clumsy vehicle near the pave
ureut, and I began to ascend the steps ; but
betore I bad reached the only seat vacant, the
impudent blackguard whipped up his horses,
thereby giving the whole conveyance a sudden
lurch 10 one side. 1 clutched convulsively at
the strap above ; and as i found I had lost
my baluuce bevuuud recovery, endeavoring to
steer myself into the blessed little harbor 1
mentioned without involving my neighbors in
uiy own drstreSs Hut with a glance us quick
as lightning 1 measured the distance between
the scat uud my own awkward carcass, and
preceived it was impracticable ; witii a siiud
eriiig presentment 1 shot a momentary look at
the lady to ward whom iw as helplessly grav
itating, and imagine ray chagrin at recogirz
,ng the injured princess of the day before
US course it only the i:ili .itesimil frnctiop
of a second that I hovered in mid air, but
duermg !Uat period mortification ran riot in
mv luckless breast, the next instant a tail—a
little shriek—a roar of laughter—and I was
p eking myself up from the lady's lap, and beg
ging pardon enough to reprieve all the crimi
nal in Christendom Bat ray emotions were
too much for uie ; 1 could no look the lady
in the face, and l! I chanced to turn my eyes
toward any ere of the other passengers, nn
amn.siak.Mile *i.i:le curled the comers of their
mouth. Tliev w_re amusing themselves at
uiy cost, and I could not itsent it; oJ<eizingthc
firat opportunity, when crazy o!J tu.;.g
s'jppcd to put down a passenger, I made my
exit from the infernal o.d cart as quick as pos
sible. And now - ," exclmntd the poor fellow,
with a comical, yet lugubrious expression of
ti.e face, lam going to-uiorrow to bunt up
this luvely incognita, and return her handker
j chief. It rencontre number four is not bet
ter than the other I II go a swianu ng iu a
tank of sulphuric ac.d.'*
" <o 1 would," returned the sympathizing
Ilarrv ; "I'll fi-h for your body afterwards
and bait my l.ook with Cciia's handkerchief ;
dead or alive YOU Wil snap at it. But if you
return the dainty article, t:e your heart up in
it, and label the parcel, "To the udorab.e
Ceha," for one is as much her property us the
" You are an unregeacrate paean, Harry,"
ret;! d 1..e yout g u.uu rebelling. "1; you
had tiie senib.i;ty ot a boiled lobster, you
wonid know that self respect nquires u:e to
exculpate myscit iu f-r eyes, and—and "
" O.i, I understand," interrupted Harry,
taking leave of his companion at the corner ot
a street ; 1 appreciate the delicacy of your
sent.ments Bat take my a.iv ce : be sure
to 1 conciliate mamma, and don't forget to send
vojr iiuinb>e obedient his share of the Cake.
Adieu, </ uni ritef an ur .'"
" Coidouud the scamp," muttered Ralph,
half-nettled uud hail phased at Lis friends
raii.ery ; " some day i will be even with him.
But }uu might do worse after all, Ralph Ra
ker : t. Eisa magnificent girl. lb-Law !
when a u.aii begin-- to be a fool, there is no
Slipping. I wisU i bad given back her hand
kerctiiel at tile t.ine ; let me look at it ugaii:."
W in these word? be produced the article
iu cues;iou-, and scrutinized it thoroughly ;
in one corner was written iu a delicate female
hand. " Isabella Horteu. Having sati>fied
h mself that he hah read the name correctly,
he repeated it seve'ai times, and sne;.-
taiiv resoived tiial he would ste its beuutiiul
Owner again before sunset.
The aitemoon, accordingly, found l.iai stroll
ing aiiout Brixton, euq iiimg for the RNdcMC
o: Mr ilorteu. bevwa: unsuccessful attempts
to discover the nest of bis bird of paradise were
at la-t fo low ud by one more agreeable to
his wishes ; and OK re than half distrusting
liis unusual method of seeKing a lady's acquain
tance, he approached a urge, handsome man
sion. si;uitcd on a little eminence, with a taste
ful arranged garden in Iront. Lie was perfect
ly conscious that etiquette wouid hold up her
hai ds iti horror at tlie idea of his not being
formally introduced ; but be reflected that
" faint heart never won tair lady," and rneie
taiiv strapped his finger iu etiquette's face.—
lie rang lue bed, and prtseutiy a page op
" is Mi c s Ilor'.ea at home ?'" he asked.
" Yes, ir ; will yuu step hi ? ' repheu the
bottou, ciTiilv. 'What natueahall 1 say ?"
Ihe toung man's heurt beat hae a steam
engine at the thought of his o*u audacity.
" Be fo kind as to take up my card, and
say that Mr. Base" requests to see Miss liar
ton a lew moments.''
The page uhcred him into the drawing
room, which was euip-y, and a
Ralph braced hiaiseit (or the iutemew. Al
ter a short delay, which seemed to him like
the interval between the condemnation and
execuUou of a criminal, the door opened, ai d
the beautiful I-abeile entered the apartment.
Without manifesting any surprise at such &u
uoosual rieit, she politely motioued bim to a
chair, ami seated herself at some distance from
him. awaited the auuouuceoieut of his er
" I must request your indulgence, Miss Hay
ton," said Ralph, with perfect outward self
possession, although inwardly he eompietiy
realized the strauguess of Ins position, " for
having taken so great a liberty to call upon
you persona ly, without ever liaviug had the
honor of au introduction. My object is sina
plv to return a handkerchief which I picked
up in tiie street bearing your name. 1 might
have returned it to you without iutrudiug up
on your leisure ; but I trust you will pardon
the freedom I hate ventured to use, in order
to appologize more completly for what must
have seemed so luucd like intentional rudeness.
By some fatality, I have three times
caused you great annoyance, a.though noth
ing could have been farther from mv wishes.
1 beg you to believe that I deeply regret ray
awkwardness, and am most sincerely sotry
ever to have placed you iu such embarrass
ing situation."
" Ineeed, Mr. Baker," replyed the beautiful
g'rl, with a pleasant and cordial smile upou
her features, " I beg you never to think of it
again ; 1 assure you, you greatly exaggerate
the importance ot such trifles winch require no
apology t ull. 1 am extremely sorry you have
taken the trouble to come so far merely tore
store a handkerchief which 1 was ignorant I
10-t until you mentioned the fact."
At the conclusion of bis little speech (which
we hardly think was an extempore effort,) and
during Miss llartou's reply to it, Ralph hail
been Searching bis packets for the lost article,
and picture tne intensity of Lis chagrin and
mollification as the truth came upon him like
an avalanche, that he had left it behind ! B
abeiie iustuntaueously divined the real state of
tiie case us she saw tire blood rush to iris face
reddening it to the loots of his hair, and swilt
ly retreat, leaving it paliid as marble. If she
had not preceiVvd the reai distress oft he young
man's mind, the incongruity and o.
the wiioie uraller would have overpowered hec
self-control ; but her quick sympathy wiih ad
kinds of suffering look awuv every inclination
to laugh. Ililpb at last spoke, with a forced
smile upon bis countenance aud a voice tre-ur
blmg in spite of himself.
" it may seem, perhaps a premeditated in
sult, Miss ilurton, when I tell you that the
handkerchief I thought I had with me Iras
been left behind by some careh-sj mistake ot
my own. ] have ouee again made myself re
diculous in your eyes, but 1 promise YOU tins
shall be tiie last time. Your properly shall
be sent immediately by pis'.. If I Lad uooth
er motive than simply to vindicate my own
sinner.iv, I should be concerned to see it re
stored. li vou will only toe same chari
ty for my lu>t misfortune wuicb YOU have so
generous. r expressed for its predecessors, I
wdi lake pains never to need tiie same ludui
gecce a Cflh time."
So saving lie look up his hat and rose to go,
but 1-abehe eagerly beckoned him to remain
" Do nt feci so aeeniy about a mere noth
ing, i entreat you, Mr Baker," she said with
genuine kindues- i.) her large beautiful eyes,
" I shall never forgive tnyseli for having been
ihe innocent cause of so much chagrin, ii you
pre-ist in view; ,g idra matter a
microscope, l'ray laugh at the whole affair
wiiii me, for we have both been tqua.iy placed
iu a reuiculous light ; and, beueve me, it is
true w.-doiu not to waste feeh.iL' On such u.i
desert, z - oblccts us ...l.e 11,1 t-i-es and acci
The unaffected kindness o: her tone ano
and manner went to poor Ralph's heart, and,
as we otten feel more gratitude for httio t.i
vors than for great, lie felt that her beauty was
the least of her charms ; for it was oniy tiie
transparent veil ihroumi which shone her true
womanly nature in an its iovei.ness. As he
again rose to go, she txteuded her hanu to
wards him ; he took it iu his own, and, bow
ing ins liea i, was on the point of imparling a
ki-s upon the white ta|.er linger, when the
door -iiddeniv opened, and Mr. li a r ton enter
ed. 1 saoeua i.asti.y witudrew her burn, and
coloring deeply, said to her father, " id me in
tro iuee you to Mr. Biker, pupa."
The iarge, stoat gentleman advanced and,
offering his hand, sa. i with a peiiatrating
glance m the young tan. s tace, " I am always
irind to welci :ue my daughter's fricuds ; huw
do you do, Mr. Baker?"
lia ~h si am in; re J out- something about the
weailier, and wis evidently in no little con
fusion wiieu isabeile came to li.s rescue, and
said, quite sen' po--essiou, " Mr. Baker
fotiud my iiaiiditercbief iu the street, pupa, and
was so k.nd as to come on purpo-e to re.-tcre
it. i feel very ic ica obliged to L.m, indeed,
lor his politeness."
" Baker, Baker,''said Mr. Ilarton, repeat
ing tiie name abstractedly (he saw there was
embarrassment on iciii sides, ai.d un
limited coi.Lidti.ce in lus daughter, wished to
extricate them from r ."i "an old school-fellow
of miuc was named B ker—Ralph .lames Ba
ker. l'eriraps you are a relative of his. sir."
" wwuuiy fatiier's name, sir," answer
ed Riiph, inleiiiaiiy thanking the o.d gentle
msu lor Lis tact ; " but Le ti.ed several years
" Then, upon my word," said Mr Ilarton,
warm y ; it is ihe luckiest chance in
that brought vuu here. Mr. Baker. \our fa
t.rar and i w ere friends OI loug sianding, and
for Tears and vears we corresponded together,
bot I suddenly ceased to hear froin him, and
never knew where lie was. or what had uecome
of bim. You mu>t stop ur.d diue with us this
evenn g; 1 have a huudred quest.ons to asi
I niigni liave known you were LLniph's son,"
lie added, looking iu the young man's face—
same eyes, same hair, same everything. Well,
well, it will be my turn next." And with these
words the old o.d gentiemau left the room.
The two young foik remained iu silence for
some time. Ralph at last broke the pause,
Saving :
" Mav I consider that I have Miss Harton's
permission to remain as wdi as her lather e ?
: " 1 shaii always we.come cay father's friends,'
i the aoawered, evasively, and a Uttle distantly,
adding in a more cordial tone, " I em sure
nothing has happened to make your visit oth
er than acceptibie. Besides," she continued,
a little mischievously, " when you next call,
you muy as well bring my handkerchief your
self, instead of sending it."
Having thus seen our hero fairly launched
on the course of true love, we will hope that
it ran smooth for the future, and that the lit
tle ripples at it's commencement were not pro
phetic of subsequent matrimonial storms. One
thing is certain, cud that is that about a year
alter, the Times contained the follow ing notice:
"May 11th, at St. Matthews, Biixton, l>y
the Rtv. Alfred Couvler, D. D , Ralph Baker,
Esq , of the middle Temple, to Rabelle, daugh
ter of Frederick ilarton, Esq., ofßuehey Hill,
It may be interesting to add that Ralph's
groomsman on the occasion was Mr. Henry
Livingstone, and, after the ceremony wa-_ over, j
he was overheard to whisper iu the bride- 1
groom's ear :
' 1 say, Ralph, if you find any more hand
kerchiefs send me one, will you ?"
Artemus Ward in the Southern Confed
Yondiav perhaps wondered whareahon'3 I
was for these many dasegone and past. Per
cliaus you spose I'd gone to the Tootnb of the
Gappylets, tho I don't tuo what those is. It's
a poplar noospaper frase.
Listen to my tail, and be silent that ye may
heie. I've be<?n among the Se.diers a earnin
mv daiiy peck by my legitimit perfeshun, and
iiavn't had no to weeid inv facile quill for
" the Grate Komic paper," if you'll aliowr nie
to kote from trootliful advertisement.
I went among the ScsLers with no ftelins of
annerinosity. I went in my profeshunal capa
oily. I was actooited by one of the ciot
Loftiest desire* which can swell the human
Boozum, viz : —to give the jieeple their mon
eys worth by showia them Stgashus Beests
aud Wax Stutoots which I venture to say air
ousarpast by any other statoots anywheres. I
will not call that man who sez my statoots is
humbugs a liar and a Boss theef. but bring him
bt-i me and I'd wither him wiih oue of my
-kornful froaus.
But io pro-ced with ray tail. In my travils
threw the Soiir y South i hurd a lieeu of in,a
about Seshesuii and bustinnp the Union, but
I didn't think it 'mounted to nothin. The pol
ticiaus in all the villages swearin that Old
Aos (snuilitnes called the I'rayrie flower)
shouldn't never be noggerated. 'ihey uiso
made fools of themselves in various ways, but
ibey was used to that I didn't let it worry
me much, and tiie Stars and S ripes contiu
uered lor to wave over my little tent. Moore
over, 1 was a son of Maity, aud a mem
ber of several other Temprace Societies, and
my wife s'ne was a daughter cf Malty, and i
sposed tiiese fax woniu secoor rae the iwtloonz
and pertuetion of ad the fu-t fam.iies. Aiuss!
I was dis;> nted. State arter St ite sesesiied,
and it gruwd hotter and better for the under
sined Tilings come to a climb macks iu a
small town iti Alabamy, wiiere I was perem
torally ordered to liawl down the Stars A
Stripes. A deppytashum of red faced tnen
cum up to the door of ray tent wiiure I wis
stand.n and takiu money, ( the arteri.oon ex
hibishun had commenced, and my ltalyuu or
ganist was jerkin his sool-siiriu chimes ) "We
are cam, sir," taid a iniileugtary man in a
v ekt hat, ' uoo:i hi a anil hoicy nns'uun. The
Southern Eagle is screamiu Ihrewout this sun
ny Hud—proudly and dtlinantly screamin. sir."
"What's tiie matter wiih sis 1, "don't
his v.:ties set well on his stumraick ?"'
" That eagle, sir, contiiiuer to scream
ail over tuis Brite and treiuenjus land."
" Wall, let iniii scream, if your eugle can
amuse hUseif tv ecrtaunii, let him went !"
Tne ineu auuoyed me, for 1 was Bixzy taakin
" We are corn, sir,upon a matter of duty—"
" You're right, Capting. It's every tuau's
cooty to visit my show," sed I.
" We air cum—
" At.d that's the reason yoo are here !" sez
I, larlin one of my silvery iarfs, I tl.awt if he
wanted to goak I'd giv h.;n sum of my spark
ling eppygram*.
" Sir, yoo're in?rlent. The plain question
is, will You haul down the StarSpangied Baa
ner. and hist the Southern flag ? '
" Nary lust !" Tnose was my reply.
" Your wax works and beests is then cocfis
tica'ed, A yoa are arretted as a Spj !"
Sez I, " My fragrai t ro<es of tiie Southern
clime and bioomiu whats the price
of whiskey in this town, and how many cubic
feet of that sedaciive fiooid can joa iudivodal
iv hold ?"
They made no rr-piy to that, bet said my
fijgers was confisticated. I axed tr.em if that
was ginera! y the stile among thieves in that
country, to which they also made uo rr-ply.but
?d I was arrested as a Spy, aud must go to
Mootgo.Diey in iurns. They was by this time
jiued by a large crowd of other Southern pu
nts. who commeust holierin " Hang the baid
headed aberliiioni>t, and oust up h,s immoral
cxitibitioii I* I was ceaed and lied to a stump
and the crowd went for my tent —that water
proof paviiiion, wherein instruction and a moose
ment had been so taucbly 13 cents
per bead—and tore it ail to pieces. Mean
while dirty faced boys was throwiu stuns and
empty beer botiles a: my msssß brow, and
takiu other improper liberties with my person.
Resistance was useless, for a variety of rea
sons, as I readily observed.
Tne Sesesbers coufisticated my statoots by
smashin them to attuins. They then w ent to
the money bcx and confisticated all the loose
cbange therein contained. They then wentand
bust in my cage*, lettin all the animates loose,
a small but healthy tiger among the rest
This tiger has a excentric way of tcarin
to peaces, and I allers spo*ed from his eineral
condnck that he'd hav no hesitasbun in servin
human beins in the same way if he could git
at them. Excuse me if I was crooil, but I
1 iarfad boywiernisly wbeo I saw that tiger
springin among the peopie. "Go it, my sweet
cus 1" I inardly exclaimed, " I forgi w you for
bit iti off mp left ilium with nil my heart ! Rip
'em up like abuilv tiger whose Lara has been
inwnded by Sesesbers 1"
I can't say for certain that the tiger serisly
injured any of them, but as lie was seen a few
duvs after sunt ruiies distant, with a large and
well selected assortment of seat 3 of trowsis in
his mouth, and as lie lookt as tho he'd bin
having sum villent exercise, 1 raylher guess he
did. You will therefore perceive that they
didn't confisticate him much.
I wascarrid to Montgomery in irons and
placed in duraus vial. The jail was a ornery
ediiiss. but the table was liberally eapplied
with Bakin and Cabbidge. Tiiis was a good
variety, for when I didn't hanker atter Bakin
i could help myself to the Cabbidge.
I had nobody to talk to nor nothing to talk
about, however, and I was very lonely speci
ally on the Grst day ; so w4ien the jailer parst
ray lonely sell 1 put the few stray hairs on the
back part of my lied (l'tn bald uow, but thare
was a time when I wore sweet anbnrn ringlets)
into as dish-heviid a state as possible, <L roliiu
my eyes like a mauyyaek, I cried "Stay,
ja'.er, stay ! I am not mud but soon shall be
if yon don't bring me sathiu to Tik ?" lie
brung me sum uoosepapers, for which I thank
ed him Liudiy.
At larst I got a interview with Jefferson
Davis, President of tiie Southern ContLievcr
acy. lie was quite perlite, and axed me to
sit down and state my, I did it, when lie
larfed and sed his ga .tint men Lad tin a little 2
enthoosiaslic in confisticalin my show.
" Yes," sez I, " they confisticated no too
mucuiy. I had sum bosses conQsticateJ in the
same way onct, but t'ie confisticattrs air now
pounuui stun in the Slates I'iisou at lujianap
" VTa!l, wall, Mister Ward, you tir at lib
erty to depart; you air friendly to the South,
1 know. Even now we have many frees in
the North, who sympathises with us, and
wont mingle with this fight."
"J. Davis, there's your great mistaik.—
Many of us was young sincere friends, and
thought certin parties among cs was fus
sin aoout you ana ineddiin with ycurcousarns
entirely too much. But J. Davis, the minit
you fire a gun at the piece of dry goods called
the 6:~r Spangled Banner, the North gits up
Hr.d rises en massy, in defence of that banner.
Not agin you as ind vidoo.'s—not ngin the
South even—but to save the fiag. We should
indeed be weak in the knees, unsound in the
heart, milk white in the liver, aud soft in the
lied, if wc stood quietly by saw this glcrus
Govymeut smashed to pieces, either by a fcr
rin or a intestine fee. The ger.t'e hearted
mother lihtes to take her naughty child across
h"r knee, but sh? knows it is her dootv to do
it. So we shall hate to whip tiie naughty
South, fut we must do it ii you don't unke
back tracks at or.ct, and we shall wallop yoti
out cf your boots ! J Duris, it is my decid
ed opinion that the Sonny South is makind a
egregious mutton iied of her.-eif!"
" Gon on, sir, you're safe eauff. You're 100
small powder for me !" sed ti.e President of
the Southern ContLieveracy.
" Wait tilt I go home a;.d start out the Bal
dinsviiie Hoss Cavalry I I'm Captin of that
Corpse, I am, and J. Davis, beware ! Jeffer
son D.. I now leave you ! Farewell ray gay
Saier Boy ! Good bye, my bold bcccanueer
Pirut of the deep blue sea, adoo ! odoo 1"
My tower threw the Southern Conthieveracy
cn my way home was thifiiug enuff for yeller
covers. It will form the subjeck cf ray next.
Betsy Jine and the progeny are well.
Yuurs respectively, A. WAF.D.
A Sto?.t of Geneeae Jaczson.—A corres
pondent of the Tn',ur.e teha this story : A
prominent gentleman in this State told ma on
unquestionable authority, a reminiscence of
tne days of nnlification. It seems that Gov
ernor Letchvr. of Kentucky, wiio sympathized
with the uullifiers in 1832, called upon Gener
al Jackson to learn, if possible, what the Gen
eral intended to do towards crashing C.iibou's
conspiracy cgainst the Union. Tiie Governor
opened the subject mildiy, aud Jackson only
answered by tbiiirg Lelciier to read a ccrtaiu
instrument of writing on the table before him.
Letcher r.vd it, &:.d fonnd it be a warrant for
the execution of John C. Caihoca. " But,my
dear General, yoa don't intend to carry ou!
what tiiis paper calls for ?' " Governor Letch
er, is my name signp j to that paper ?" ' Yes,
Generel, it is." " Very we. 1, Governor, it is
very se'dom that I sign pipers merely for cf
feet. Governor, look oa the left corner of the
paper ; is the sealed the Uuited Stales to it?''
"It is Genera!. Governor Letcher visited
Mr. Calhosn after ho left General Jackson,
and awakening him out of his sleep, related to
him his interview with Jackson. Governor
Letcher alleged that Mr. Calhoun assumed the
appearance ef a gho*t, when he heard w hat
Genera! Jackson intended to do, and cuii dca
tion lost aii its venom from that hoar. Gen
eral Jackson said on his death-bed that he
had oi.iy one thing to regret, and that Le had
uot bu..g Calhoun.
Persons who practice deceit and ar
tifice always deceive themselves more than
they deceive others. They may feel great in view cf the success of the r
doings ; but they cro in reality casing a mist
before their own eyes. Such persons not on'y
make a false estimate of their own character,
bat they estimate falsely the opinions and con
duct of other*. No person is ob' gei to tell ail
he thinks ; but both duty and self-interest for
bid him ever to make false pretences.
Never look at the girls. 0\ no ! i
they can't bear to be looked at ; they regard
it as an insult. They wear their feathers, fur
beiowes and frills merely to gratify their ma
mas, that's alt. •
E§T~ The proprietor of a bone mill adver
tises that those sending their own boces to be
ground will be attended to with pooctality
aod dispatch '
VOfe. XXII. —NO. 4.
' (Ebatalioiuil Itprimtut.
C-iyA "each' r i s's fcr the proper prounciatiou
derivation and definition of thts word Zouave.
Worcester giaes the pronunciation thfis:
i acceut on the last syllable the o having the
aame sound that the saina letter has ia the
j ward " viort " and the a ia the last *3'
1 having the Gat or seeond sound cs:a the wofd.
| " far." It is an Arab word, and " origaally
meant a member of a corps of Abra
j in the service of France after the conquest of
I Algiers ; now, a member of a French corgi
wearing an Arab dress."
We can not give the ttord with the pfc*<?r
marks over the letters to denote their partieu
iar souuds, because the printer lias net the
; proper type for that purpose. We hope how
ever that the pronunciation will be understood.
Webster gives pronunciation " Zouave one ,
■ syllable a as in '* far." From the Arabic
Zouave*, a coaedcracy of the Habyle tribe,
who live 0:1 the mountains bach Algeers."
The remainder tarae a3 Worcester.
♦— 1
Earcst Teaclicrs.
AT J. W. D.
There are plenty who can "keep school,"
but real, earnest teachers are not sutßerens. —
Yoc will find teachers in ever rustic school
hou;**, ii) everv modern structure of science,
but one half of them exhibit an wirnestueA
equal to the importance of their business.
I know one teacher who is far moreanxioct
to know how the clock gets along, then he is
to mark the progress of his pupils. His eyes
are eve.- in that direction. He 13 very sure to
get his room at precisely the hour to comnaTca
| school. It would bo a waste of time to get
there earlier. He is paid to teach so mauy
hours, ard Le canr.ot go beyond the legitimate
limit. If he should spend an extra half b£cr
for the benefit of his ptipiis, who whould pa*
Lim for that ? He measures his zeal and iu
t-rest in Lis business by tho amouat of money
he expects to receive at the end of the quarter.
If by some luckless mishap his salary fails a
few dollars, his z<=al in the important business
of teaching drops dovrti to the Bame level. It
is certain'/ true tuat there is a vefy sensible
connection between the physical and spiritual
It is impossible not to recognize tu.s rels
tion in every position ia this life. It tpay be
a great misfortune that t,ke corporeal nature
makes such important*"demands upon the
higher and spiritual. If the bopy and mind
could live and thrive by the s&me nutations
eltmenr, what pare, disinterested labor might
be the reyl: 0: such a happy state of
Cut iv'uHe the stern necessities of life lie in
' every path, while Ihe teacher ie common with
every body else, is called upon to me£t the&
necessities, he must, occasionally, at least.giva
a thought in that direction. To esteem the
teacher as purely ethereal and spiritual; is one
extra regent extreme, wh.le the possibility
of his bting entirely sensual ar.d earthly is
another, more dangerous to his business.
The teacher who can see nothing move stim
ulating or ennobling in bis vocation tb'aa tha
: pay he expects to receive at the end of the
, quarter, is very near the latter extreme If
; he work 3 according to his " cautract," end
; fills the specified stipulations, and " keeps
j school." as a machine v'ould build a house, ho
most certainly give strong indications of aa
abiding sensuality. It is tnis class of teachers
which brings the h'gh and coble cafliag of
teaching iuto disrepute. If the ouu Or woman
whose office it is to teach the young and ten
der mind principles which are forever to con
■ t.-ol its destiny, can see nothing more fitimala
' ing the tncchiuc finds in the materials up
on which he works, there is certainly strong
| reason to suspect sensuality.
Teachers can elevate their profession by
exhibiting an earnestness with the real impor
tance of tueir business demands. Let taeav
not only show their zeal in the school
the various lessons of instrnction which they
are called spon to impart, but let the world
see that their heart* are ia every educational
enterprise. If there is to b<a teachers' meet
i:i?, if the friends of education are to assemble
in council npoa matter of great lanporSence,
who. if Dot the teacher, should be expected to
attend ? W io, if not the teacher, should feel
most deeply interested ia whatever taay L§
, said or done ?
The farmer who works early and late and
scatters Lis seed upon the weii prepared sell
wii! generally reap a plentiful harvest. But if he
feels any interest ia the advancement of agri
cultural science, if he wishes to sc-a the latest
j improvement, yea will find him at the agricul
tural fair?, not a disinterested spectator, but
an earnest co-operator ia all that pertains to
hi 3 busine*?. And shall the teacher feel Use
interested ia the ccitivatioo of rnind ? Shell
not he extend a cord alhand to every and earnest educator? Shall not be give
his influence in all possible directions to the
elevation cf his vocation, and the re&l advace
mert of educational science?
Dut there are teachers who seem to
be past ail further* progress. They have reach
ed the topmost round ia the ladder of progres
sion. At least if there is any distance A HOT®
th°m nntraversed they are perfectly compe
tent to reach the hight nnaided and alone.—
Snch teachers never find it convenient to b?
present at a teaehers mee&r.g. Or, if there,
thev or.'v look on as a of napiro >c ti-3
Fellow teachers, if yon w!*b toelevite yonr
eaiiicc, ebratc yonrsdrts, by showing aacarnest
cess becoming yonr position.
tsj*The face that neTer smiles shoaid rat
preside in the school room. That wit which
wakes np. quickens, and refreshes fbe mind, is
by no means an unimportant eleraeat ip edu
cation. The can who has no-telish for hnnor
is not the one to comprehend, and permeate,
and stim-.'.ate the sensibilities of the jevenne
mfnd. Horace Mann used to saf " The
teacher was fort tin ate who coold h.s
py. s. once a day, to a good hearty laogb "
TFA i M I * >