J(E DOLLAR PER ANNUM INVARIABLY IN ADVANCE. TOWANDA : Thursday Morning, September 2, 1858. A SABBATH NIGHT. IJV GEORGE I>. PRENTICE. ' r .vE this holy time. The forest-leaves ,th the noi-eless Jews are bending low faintly glowing in the starlight pale, j f t ij e vision that came o'er their sleep ,v ofthe Spirit land. The mountain pine Ji- hushed its melancholy music now, > weary winds are .-lumbering in the heavens, t keeping sacred vigils on the cloud, fir flimmeriiig in the sunset all is still, l a vethat the distant waves are murmuring low, * K ea loot angel mourning his sad lot sfexile from the blessed. Tt is sweet, it >uch an hour to wander out beneath lit eternal sky. to gaze into its depths, picture angel shapes on every star, -ten to the mystic songs that seem 1,. Fancy's ear to wander down to earth ft® the far gates of Eden, and to feel 'iedeep and gentle spirit that pei\ mles The blessed air, sink like a holy sjiell Upon lift-S doubled waters, Hark! the bell H'i nut the midnight ? How glorious \jd vet how lonely is the face of things .uthis still hour of musings ? Vale and hill. * ndplain and stream, and lake and anrtfent wood ['ponthem like a mantle. O, I love, On eves like this to kneel in solitude At nature's shrine. The gentle dews that bathe Mi-brow, seem God's own Uajiiism : and each voice Tat speak- in mystic eloqumCe from sky, ts! air. and earth, and ocean, calls the soul T. mingle with the holiness of heaven. tHEMILL. ! love the I.rimtftmg wave that w Am riiruii.L'lt quiet meadows 1 omul the mill, The sleepy pool above the dam, The pool beneath it never stiU, The meal-sacks on the whitened floor, The dark round of the dripping wheel. The Very air about the door Made misty by the floating meal. [Tcnny.^MV. i s (111a1 c 0 us. BURNING AND BORTINO. In the report of the medical officers of health fir Loudon, we read that in the Victoria Dark Cemetery, last year every Sunday, one hun dred at.d thirty bodies were interred ; which Let one of the medical journals expressed by saying that there were sixteen thousand pounds of mortal matter added on that day alone to ♦lt?already decomposing mass. At the time when we were reading about such things, " A Member of the Royal College of Surgeons," i-neda pamphlet upon an old subject of ours, Hunting the Dead, or Urn Sepulture." Our TO arguments upon that subject, we Itave used ■ ready ; but the surgeon proves to be a most telligent ally ; and a brief statement of bis snyimeiit may be of some service in these titans. This is it : Hie -oul of man is indestructible, and at death parts from the body. Of matter, only fie elements are, humanly speaking, indestruc tible. The body of a man is made up of oxy nitrogen and carbon, with small quanti ties of phosphorn 3, sulphur, calcium, iron and me other metals. By the law to which all natter is subject, man's body, when done with, '■ imposes into these elements, that they may Vised for other purposes in uature. Can it nutter to him whether the process be effected rapidly or slowly ? I pon the doubt as to the possibility of re direction, when our bodies have been burnt -tead of rotted, the surgeon lavs the balm of 'fits: "That which thou sowest, thou sow not tke body that shall be," aud, "we shall V changed." But he adds : those who claim ' 5 'nave hereafter the whole identical body 'ws again, must remember that iu life it j-astes and is renewed, so that if every particle Rt ever belonged to an old ram were returned bifi, lie would get matter enough to make ie he or twenty bodies. It is just possible -otnebody may be comforted with a thco *hicb the surgeon quotes in a note, that a carries away with it out of the world, one * 'Rt of matter which is the seed of the future ! .L and these seminal atoms not being here, d not be included in our calculations about wlr 'i, r s material. ; '' could, by embalming, keep the form of /departed upon earth, that would be much; W. for any such purpose, embalming fails.— _ --'ay will use its effacing lingers. "In the jM 'iimof the College of Surgeons in London, ' v seen the first wife of one Martin Van atchell. who, at, her husband's request, was filled by I)r. William Hunter aud Mrs. ar penter, in the year seventeen hundred and nty live. No doubt extraordinary pains " taken to preserve both form and feature ; : . Vet . what a wretched mockery of a once "'■•}' woman it now appears, with its shrniik -Ra rotten-looking bust, its hideous, toahog /■'"lored face, and its remarkably fine set -•tit! Between the feet are the remains t a preen parrot—whether immolated nor not ... e death of its mistress is uncertain •*, but, * 1 'fill retains its plumage, it is far a less re- ,v e object than the lurger biped." There * tawsuit once, to try the right of a dead "" !l : 'j an iron coffiu, when Lord Stowell de- A " !t " contrivances that, whether in ( j ally or not, prolong the time of dissolu- * /evuud which the common local nnder •ug and usage have fixed it, form an act ".ustiee, unless compensated in some way oti / Ui ® r " And when an irou coffin has been bj, aft , er a ' u P se °f years, what haa beeu A Chiefly dry grubs of worms and other '!' ' iave U P OM the flesh. Socrates N>! , ') ls friends, " Let it not be said that ' s carried to the grave and buried ; A a '' ex l )r essi°n were an injury done to my rj A' 1 Not very long ago a hardett acrer, being told by the judge that his THE BRADFORD REPORTER. body, after hanging, would be given for dissec tion, said : "Thank you, my lord ; it is well you cannot dissect my soul." We look upward, when we stand beside the grave. The surgeon replies to those who regard cre mation as a heathen custom, it is not more heathen than burying in holes. Sprinkling i earth on the coffin is a heathen custom, based upon a heathen superstition, but converted to a Christian use. lie gives interesting illustra tions of the use of urn-burial by many nations, but reminds us that the cost of fuel was one obstacle to its general adoption in old time.— Ground was to be had more cheaply than the materials necessary for the humblest burning, wtieu it was requisite to burn on large piles in the open air. "The Christians, however," says Sir Thomas Browne, " abhorred this way of obsequies ; an d, though they hesitated not to give their bodies to be burnt in their lives, detested that mode after death." But what ever reasons Christians had in the first days of Christiauity against the burning of their bodies, I they have left behind them no objection found ed on permanent religious principles. We now bury in graves, and build funeral urus iu stoue as emblems. The report of the French Academy of Medi cine,upon the effect of cemeteries on the health [ of Paris, has led France to the bestowing of much serious attention 011 the subject of crc inatiou ; and there is sober discussiou of the plan of M. Bonneau, who proposes to replace all cemeteries near great cities, by a building called a Sarcophagus. "Thither the corpse of both rich and poor should be conveyed, and laid 011 a metallic tablet, which, sliding by an instantaneous movement into a concealed' fur nace, woithl cause the body to be consumed in the space of a few moments."—Like a true Frenchman, he Urges the bearing of his plan on the interests of art, " for who would wish to preserve the ashes of ancestors .'" The fun eral urn may soon replace 0:1 our consols and luantlepiecefl, the ornaments of bronze clocks and china Vases found there. " This may seem a misplaced pleasantry to English minds," says the Kdinburg Medicif Journal, " but we can not help being startled at reading the sanitary report leading to it." The surgeon then dwells briefly upon the valid objection to the burning of the dead. It destroys evidence in' case of secret murder.— Now, the dead speak under the spells of the chemist. If cremation be adopted, greater ac curacy in the registration ami closer scrutiny into each doubtful ease of death will be imper atively called for. While we write this, a man lies sentenced to death against whom the con demning witness was the disiuterred corpse of his methef, The surgeon in his next chapter shows what the pollutiou of a graveyard is. Over this fa miliar ground we da not follow him, exeept to take up the testimony of the French Academy of Medicine, that no matter from what quarter the wind blows, it must bring over Paris pu trid emanations of Pere la Chaise, Montmar tre, or Montparnasse, and the very water which we drink, being imjwegnated with the same poisonous matter, we become the prey of new and frightful diseases of the throat and lnn'gs, to which thousands of both sexes fall victims every year. Thus, a dreadful throat disease, which baflles the skill of our most experienced m rdical men, and which carries off its victims in a few hours, is traced to the absorption of vitiated air into the windpipe, and has been observed to rage with the greatest violence in those quarters situated nearest to cemetries." There need not be full smell iu poisoned air. The deadly malaria of the Pontine marshes, we are reminded blows soft and baimyfus the •air of a Devonshire summer. In his last chap ter, the surgeon shows how cremation of the dead would give even increased solemnity to the funeral service, and increased truth to the words " ashes to ashes, dust to dust," iu the centre of the chapel used for burial, lie would erect a shrine of marble, at the door of which the coffin should be laid—-so constructed and arranged that at the proper time, by unseen agency, the body should be drawn from it un seen, into an inner shrine, where it crosses a sheet of furnace flame, by which it would be instantly rednced to ashes. Within the chap el, nothing would be seen ; outside,there would be seen only a quivering transparent ether, floating away from the chapel spire. At the conclusion of the service, the ashes of the dead would be reverently brought, inclosed in a glass vase, which might be again enclosed in a more costly nrn for burial, for deposit in a vault, or in a consecrated niche prepared for it after a manner of those niches for the urns of the de parted, which were called from their appear ance, columbria—dove-cotes —by the Romans. The Ashes of those who loved each other ten derly, might mingle in one urn, if we would sav : " Let,not their dust he parted, For their two hearts in life were single hearted." There is nothing irreverent to the dead in cremation. Southev expressed very emphati cally, why a man might desire it for his friends: i " The nasty custom of interment," he says, " makes the idea of a dead friend more unplea sant. We think of the grave, corruption and worms. Burning would be much better." The true feeling is that with which the surgeon ends his pamphlet, using the words of Sir Thomas Browne. " Tis all one where we lye, or what becomes of our bodies after we are dead, ready to be anything in the extasie of beiug over."— Household Words. You.\R, MEN PAY ATTENTION*. —Don't be a loafer, don't call yourself a loafer, don't keep loafer's company, and don't hang about loaf ing places. Better work hard for everything aud board yourself than sit around day after day or stand at corners with your hands in your pockets. Better for your own prospects. Bus tle about, if you mean to save anything to bus tle for. Many a physician has obtained a real patient by riding bard to attend an imaginary one. A quire of blank paper tied up with red tape aud carried under a lawyer's arm may pro cure him his first case and make his fortune. Such is the world—to him that hath shall be given. Quit droning and complaining, keep busy and mind your chances. PUBLISHED EVERY THURSDAY AT TOWANDA, BRADFORD COUNTY, PA., BY E. O'MEARA GOODRICH. " REGARDLESS OF DENUNCIATION FROM ANY QUARTER." Wonders of the Human System. Paley applauds the contrivance bv which everything we eat and drink is made to glide on its road to the gullet, over the entrance of the wind-pipe without falling into it. A little movable lid, the epiglottis, which is lifted up when we breathe, is pressed down upon the chinck of the air-passage by the weight of the food and the action of the muscles in swullew iug it. Neither solids nor liquids, in short, can pass without shutting dowu the trapdoor as they proceed. But this is only a part of the safeguard. The slit at the top of the wind pipe, which never closes entirely while we breathe, is endued with a keen sensibility to the slightest particle of matter. The least thing which touches the margiu of the aperture causes its slides to come together and the in truding body is stopped at the inlet. It is stopped, but unless removed, must drop at the next inspiration into the lungs. To effect its expulsiou the sensibility of the rim at the ton of the wind-pipe actually puts into vehement action a whole class of muscles placed lower than its bottom, and which, compressing the chest, over which they are distributed, drives out the air with a force that sweeps the offend ing substance before it. The convulsive cough ing which arises when we are choked is the en ergetic effort of nature for our relief when anv thiug chances to have evaded the protective epiglottis. Yet this property, to which we are constantly owing our lives, is confined to a sin gle spot in the throat. It does not, as Sir Charles Bell affirms, belong to the rest of the wind-pipe, but is limited to the orifice, where alone it is needed. Admirable, too, it is to observe, that while thus sensitive to the most insignificant atom, it bears without resentment the atmospheric currents which are incessantly passing to and fro over its irritable lips. " It rejects," says Paley, " the touch of a crumb of bread or a drop of water, with a spasm which convulses the whole frame ; yet, left to itself and its proper orifice, the intromission of air alone, nothing can be so quiet. It does not even make itself felt ; a ruan does not know that he has a trachea. This capacity of per ceiving with such acuteness, this impatience of offence,yet perfect rest and ease wheu let alone, are properties one would have thought, not likely to reside in the same subject. It is so to the junction, however, of these almost in consistent qualities in this as well as in some other delicate parts of the body, that we owe our safety and our comfort—our safety to their sensibility, our comfort to their repose. Another of the examples adduced by Bell is that of the heart. The famous I)r. Harvey examined, at the request of Charles 1., a no bleman of the Montgomery family, who in con sequence of an abscess, had a fistulous opening into the chest, through which the heart could be seen and handled. The great physiologist was astonished to find it insensible. " I then brought him," he says, "to the King, that he might behold and touch so extraordinary a thing, and that he might perceive, as I did, that unless when we touched the outer skin, or when lie saw our fingers in the cavity, this yeug nobleman knew not that we touched Lis heart." Y'et, it is to the heart that we refer our joys, our sorrows, and our affections ; we speak of it good-hearted, a hard-hearted,a true hearted and a heartless man. Shielded front physical violence by a outwork of boues, it is not invested with sensations which ctuld have contributed anything to its preservation, but while It can lie grasped with the fingers, and give no intimation of the fact to its possessor, it unmistakably responds to the varied motions of the mind, and by the general consent of mankind is pronounced the seat of our pleas ures, gifts, sympathies, hatreds, and love. Per sons have frequently dropped down dead from the vehemence with which it contacts or ex pands npoa the sudden announcement of good or bad news—Ps muscular walls being strained too far in tbe upward ot- downward direction to citable them to return—and one of the put poses which this property of the heart is pro baMy designed to subserve is to put a check upon the passions through the alarming physi cal sensations they excite. The brain, again, is enclosed in a bony ease. All our bodily sensations are dependent upon the nerves, but even the nerves do not give rise to feeling unless they are in connection with the b-rain. The nervous chord which, in fam iliar language, is called the spinal marrow, is the channel by which this communication is kept up as the major part of them, and when the section of what may be termed the great trunk road for the conveyance of our sensations is diseased, and by the breach in its continuity the nerves below the disordered part can no longer send its accustomed intelligence to the brain, the portion of the body which thus be comes isolated may be burned or hacked, and 110 more pain will result than if it belonged to a dead carcass instead of a living man. The brain, therefore, in subordination to the mind, is the physical centre of all sensation. Yet, strange to say, it is itself insensible to the wounds which are torture to the skin,and which : wounds the brain alone enables us to feel. " It is as insensible," says Sir Charles Bell, "as the leather of our shoe, and a piece may be cut off without interrupting the patient of the sentence that he is uttering. Because the bone which i envelopes it is its protection against injuries ! from without,it has 110 perception of tliein when ' directed against its own fabric, though it is at the same time the sole source of the pain which those injuries inflict upon the other portions of the system. But the skull is 110 defence agaiust the effects of intemperance, or a vitiated at mosphere, or too great mental toil. To these consequently the same brain which lias been created insensible to the cut of the knife, is , rendered fully alive, and giddiness, headaches, and apoplectic oppression give simple notice to us to stop the evil, unless we are prepared to pay the peualty. — London Quarterly. We once looked with awe upon the Kentucky giantess, eight feet high, lacking two inches. She was about the only woman we ever saw that wasn't in danger of marrying beneath her. Hi># Victoria's Daughter manages her Household The Berlin correspondent of the London Daily Telegraph writes as follows: The reserve maintained at the royal palace has given rise to various rumors, which have caused much delight to the good people here. The heroine of the incidents I refer to is Prin cess Victoria. Y'ou must know that on state occasions there is comparatively little ceremony observed here, while the everyday life of the royal family seems to be regulated inore strictly 011 the principle of etiquette than that of Queen Victoria. A Prussian Princess, for instance, is not allowed by her mistress of the robes to take up a chair, and,after Jiaving car ried it though the the whole breadth of the room, to put it down iu another corner. It ; was while committing such an act that Princess Victoria was lately caught by Countess Per poncher. The venerable lady remonstrated, with considerable degree of official earnestness "I'll tell you what," replied, nothing daunted, the royal heroiue of his story—"l'll tell you what, niv dear Countess, you are probably aware of the fact of my mother being the Queen of England ?" The Countess bowed in assent. " Well," resumed the bold Princess, " then 1 must reveal to you another fact.— Her majesty the Queen of Great Britain aud Ireland has not once, but very often, so far forgotten herself as to take up a chair. I 1 speak from persoual observation L can assure i you. Nay, if I am not greatly deceived, I noticed one day my mother carrying a chair in each hand, in order to set tliein for her ! children. Don you really think that my dignity forbids anything which is frequently done by 1 the Queen of England!" The Countess bowed again and retired, perhaps not without a little astonishment at the biographical information j she had heard. However she knew her office and resolved to prove uot less staunch to her duties than the Princess to her principles. A sceue similar to the one narrated recently hap pened, when Countess Perpoucher, on entering one of the remote chambers, took the Princess by surprise, while busily engaged iu the home ly occupation of arranging and stowing away a quantity of linen But all objections the Countess could urge were again beaten back by another equally unanswerable argument tak en from the everyday life of the minister of Windsor Castle. After having gained those two important victories, Pricess Victoria, true to the auspicious omen of her name,carried the war into the enemy's camp. The chamber maids, whose proper business it is to clean the rooms, discharge the duties of their position iu silk dresses. The daughter of the richest sovereign iu the world decided to put a stop to this extravagance. One line morning she had all the female servants summoned to her presence, and delivered what may be consider ed a highly successful maiden speech. She began by telling tliein the expense of their dresses must evidently exceed the rate of their wages. She added that as their wages were not to be raised, it would lie very fortunate fir them if they were allowed to assume cotton articles of clothing. "In order to prevent every misunderstanding," the Pricess continued, " 1 shall not only permit, but order you to do so. Y'ou must know that there ought always to be a difference in the dress of mistress and ser vant. Don't think that I want to hurt your feelings; you will understand my intention at once, if I tell von that " aud now catue the same unanswerable argument from the Court of St. James. She told them briefly that Court people in their position performed their duties in cotton and that she liked to be ruled by her mother's practice. BRIDE AND GROOX A CENTURY Aoo.—To begin with the lady. -Her locks were strained over an immense cushion that sat like an in cubus on her head and plastered over with a shower of white powder. The height of this tower was somewhat over a foot. One single white rosebud lay on its top like an eagle on a hay stuck. Over her neck and bosom was folded a lace handkerchief fastened in front by a bosom pin rather larger than a dollar, con taining your grandfather's miniature set in virgin gold. Her airy form was braced up in ; a satin dress the sleeves as tight as the natural skin of the arm, with a waist formed by a bodice, worn outside, from whence the skirt flowed off, and was distented at the top by an ample hoop. Shoes of white kid, with peaked toes, and heels of two or three inches eleva tion, inclosed her feet and glittered with span gles, as her little pedal members peeped curious ly out. Now for the swain. His hair was sleeked back and plentifully beflonred, while his cue projected like the handle of a skillet. His coat was a sky blue silk, lined with yellow; his long vest of white satin, embroidered with gold lace; his breeches of the same material, and tied at the knees with pink ribbons. White silk stockings, and pumps with laces and ties of the same hue completed the habiliments of his neither linen. Lace ruffles clustered around his waist, and a portentous frill worked in cor respondence, and bearing the miniature of his beloved, finished his truly genteel appearance. IN* A TIGHT PLACE.—Webster had an anec dote of old Father Searl, the minister of his boyhood, which never has been in print, and which is to goad to be lost. It was customary then to wear buckskin breeches in cold weather. One Sunday morning in the autumn, Father Searl brought his ('own from the garret ; but the wasps had taken possession during the Summer, and were having a nice time of it in them. By dint of effort, he got out the in truders, or thought he had expelled them, and dressed for meeting. But while reading the Scripture to the congregation, he felt a sting from one of the enraged,siuall-waisted follows, A jumped around the pulpit slapping his thighs. But the uiore he slapped and danced the more they stung. The people thought him crazy, and were in commotion as to what to do; but he explained the matter by saying : " Breth ren, don't be alarmed; the Word of the Tjord is in mil mouth, but 'he Devil is in mu breeches!" The Cupola of St.Peters. We resolved to-day to take another view of St Peter's. The accent to the cupola is, as we have already observed, of the easiest descrip tion, being nearly an inclined plane. E'rom the cupola alone we can have a true idea of the immense extent of St. Peter's. The fourteen figures of the Apostles, our Saviour, and St. John the Baptist, which, from the piazza, ap pear to be of the ordinary height, are in reality nearly 20 feet high. On the roof live those workmen who are employed in the repairs of the buildings,for a large sum of money is spent every year to keep the Basilica in its 'prcseut state." From the interior of the cupola the view of the church is really deceptive. What appeared to you so large and so wondrous is now dwindled away to almost nothing. You seem t<*be in the church triumphant, raised above the things of the earth, where those things that have once appeared to you so wond rous and so great will be then brought down to mere nothing. Beneath you is the tomb'of the Apostles, and its wondrous canopy, which now appears to you quite small. The altar of St. Procesus and Murtinianus the jailers of St. Peter and St. Paul iu the Mumertine prison, appear to you still smaller; but you reeongnize the power of religion which has effaced the sins of those who were once the persecutors of its apostles, and now reunites them in the same glorious temple, and pays the same ex alted honors to them as it does to those whom they persecuted As we proceed still higher up, we come to the exterior, 011 the top of the cupola, before entering the stairs which lead to the ball. How noble the prospect which is presented to you from this ! What a pan orama of the Eternal City and of the distant mountains on one side, and of the blue Med iterranean on the other, is now before you ! AH seem, as it were by the hand of the ma gician to be reduced to a diminished scale. The Vatican palace and its gardens, the piazza and its fountains, present an appearance of being brought to their present size by some invisible power. The view of everything is so deceptive that you seem almost to be laboring under some delusion, and you cannot trust your eyesight; but to ascend the ball, this is the work. We enter a room, after a short ascent, frotn which a ladder, made of iron, placed almost perpendicularly, leads to the ball. For those who arc of large dimensions the ascent is rather difficult. One of our companions, of rather beyond the average dimensions, took off his coat and waistcoat to try and enter in to the ball. In the midst of his aerial course he sticks fust, and lie can neither come down nor go up. Some drag hitn by the hands, others push liiiu by the feet, but to 110 purpose, and lie at last has to descend without being able i to enter into the ball, an honor he wished to accomplish. The ball is eight feet and one inch in diameter, and can contain sixteen per sons. The cross above tbe ball is fourteen feet high. The effect produced by the lighting of 4,000 lumps, and afterwards of 800 flam beaux, is truly astonishing, and presents this glorious structure, on the nights of its illumina tion, iu its full glory. A ROUT COLD.—For every mile that we leave the surface of the earth, the temperature falls 1 five degrees. At forty miles distance from globe we get beyond the atmosphere, and enter, strictly speaking into the regions of space, whose temperature is 225 degrees below zero ; and here cold reigns in all its power.— Sotne idea of this intense cold tuay be formed by stating that the greatest cold observed in J the Arctic Circle is from 40 degrees to (10 de grees below zero ; and here many surprising I effects arc produced. In the chemical labora- j tory, the greatest cold that we can produce is | about 150 degrees below zero. At this tem perature carbonic gas becomes a solid sub- ! stance, like snow. If touched, it pro luces just the same effect 011 the skin as a red-hot cinder; it blisters the linger like a turn. Quick silver, or mercury, freezes at 40 degrees below I zero—that is, 72 degrees below the tempera ture at which water freezes. Tbe solid mercury ! may then be hammered into sheets, or made into spoons; such spoons would melt in water j as warm as ice. It is pretty certain that every ! liquid and gas that we are acquainted with ! would become solid if exposed to the cold of the regions of space. The gas \vc light would appear iike wax ; oil would be in reality, " as hard as a rock pure spirit, which we never yet solidified, would appear like a transparent ! crystal; hydrogen gas would become quite solid and resemble a metal; we should be able to turn nutter into a lathe like a piece of ivory ; and the fragrant odor ot flowers would have to be made hot before they would yield per fume. These arc a few of the astonishing effects of cold. Earl Chatham was a martyr to gout iu his feet. To protect them they were swathed in flannel, aud socks made expressly to cover | the flannel, lie wore shoes large enough to cover the mass of wrapping. One night his residence at Hayes was broken into, and among the things stolen was these shoes. In the morn ing, his valet in announcing the robbery, said : "He has taken your shoes, iny lord." "What! my gouty shoes? " Y'es, my lord." "D n the rascal, I hope they will fit liiui." NOT VERY PUNCTUAL.—A Kinderliook shoe maker once promised to have a pair of boots finished on a specified day, for cx-Prcsident Van Buret), but failed to have them done when called for. Meanwhile the ex-President started for Europe, and was away for three years.— Upon his rettirn he called for his boots,and was told they were fiuisbed, " icith the exception of treeing out." teg"*- An editor of n country paper thus humorously bids farewell lo his readers: "The sheriff is waiting for ns in the next room, so \vc have no opportunity to be pathetic. Major Nab.'em says we are wanted and must go.— Delinquent subscribers, you have much to unswer for. Heaven may forgive yon but I never catt." VOL. XIX. !N O. 13. A Kiss THAT DID'.VT PAY. —The Toledo Record gets off a good one in regard to a cit izen of lowa, whose wife, in his absence, had been kissed by a drover, while giving a glass of water. When he had heard of the outrage he started at once in pursuit, found the drover after a hard day's ride, and accused hiui of the theft. The drover admitted the truth of the soft iinpeachement—said he had been a long time from home, was sorely tempted, and in an unguarded moment of frenzy purloined the the kiss, but that he had not damaged the woman in the smallest particular—was very sorry—thought it was no matter to make a great ado about, and therefore begged to be excused. The husband finally concluded that this was the right view of the matter, and agreed to settle it upon the receipt of $ 5 for his day's , ride. This being satisfactory the drover hand ed over a $ 10 bill and received $ 5 in change. Hut when the aggrieved benedict returned borne and consulted his detector, be found, the bill a counterfeit. He found he had suffered the indignity of having his wife kissed by a " nasty drover." passed one day in the saddle, and lost five dollars, and concluded that it* didn't pay. Ax ATLANTA BREAKFAST —Sut Lovengood jots down the following : You have often heard, but perhaps never ventured to publish, a good yarn on I)r. Thompson, of Atlanta, Ga., a generous good man, and a tiptop landlord and wit. A travel er called very late for breakfast. The meal was hurriedly prepared. Thompson, feeling that the " feed" was not cjuite up to the mark, made all sorts of apologies nil around the " eater," who worked on in silence. This sulky demeanor rather annoyed the Doctor, who, changing the range of his bat ! tery struck his thumbs in his vest nrmholes, expanded his chest, by robbing the room of half its air, and said ; " now, mister, dod dnrn me, if I haint't made all the aj>ology necessary an' more too, considerin' the breakfast, and who gets it; and now, I tell you, I have seen dirtier, worse cooked, worse tasted, worse look ing, and ah—l of a sight smaller breakfasts than this is, several times." The weary hungry one meekly laid down his tools, swallowed the bite ir. transitu, placed the palms of bis hands together, and modestly looking up at the vexed and fuming landlord, shot him dead with the words following, viz : " Is—what—you—soy—true ?" " Yes, sir," came with a vindictive prompt ness. " Well, then, I'll be choked old boss, if you hain't out traveled inc." CORRECT STEAKINC,. —We advise all our young people to acquire in early life the habit of using good language both in speaking and writing, and to abandon as early as possible any use of slang words or phrases. The lon ger they live the more difficult the acquisition of such language will be : and if the golden age of ycuth, the projier season for the acqni sion of language, be passed in its abuse, the uufortunate victim of neglected education is very probably doomed to talk slang for life. Money is not necessary to procure this edu cation. He lias merely to use the language lie reads, instead of the slang which lie hears, to form bis taste from the best sjienkers and poets of the country ; to treasure up choice phrases in his memory, and to habituute himself to their use—avoiding at the same time that pe dantic precision and bombast, which show ra ther the weakness of a vain ambition than the polish of au educated mind. fast?- A schoolmaster, wishing his pupils to have a clear idea of faith, illustrated it thus : " Here is an apple : you see it and therefore you know it is there ; but when I place it un der this tea-cup, you have faith that it is there though you no longer see it." The Isds seem ed to understand perfectly, and the next time the master asked : —" What is faith ? they replied with one accord, " An apple under a lea-cap." THE RIGHT USE or THE EVES. —An Italian Bishop, who had endured much persecution with a calm unruffled temper, was asked how he attained such a mastery over himself. " By making a light Hse of my eyes," said he. " I first look up to heaven as the place whither I am going to live forever. I next look down upon the earth, and consider how small aspaco of it will soon be all that I can occupy or want. I then look around me, and think how many are far more wretched thau I am." FIRE AT THE ILLINOIS STATE PRISON.— ALTON, 111., Friday, August 14. —At about 8 o'clock last evening a fire broke out in the workshops of the State Prison, two of which, with the dining hall of the Prison Chapel, Ho spital, and three other buildings, were consum ed. A large amount of finished work was al so destroyed. Three firemen were injured, but not dangerously. S.-veral attempts to escape were made by the prisoners ; none, however, succeeded. The loss is estimated at $30,000, iMid is fullv covered by insurance in Eastern offices. The origin of the lire is unknown. AOVICE TO COXSIMHIVE IV.on.E.—Dr. Hall of the Journal of Health, says to his consump tive friends :—"You want air, not physic ; yon want pure air not medicated air ; you want nutrition, such as plenty of meat and bread will give, and they alone ; physic lias uo nutriment ; gaspings lor air cannot cure you; monkey capers in a gymnasium cannot cure you, and stimulants cannot cure yon. If you want to get well go in for beef and out door air, and do not be deluded into the grave by advertisements and bulliarene certificates." fta?" Naomi, daughter of Enoch, was five hundred and eighty years of age when she mar ried. Take courage ladies ! generations of men follow each oth er like the waves of a swollen river.