. :] JLLW PE* IN ADVANCE.
I piston} morninn, 10. 1838.
I .4 WMS■ BlflßßfiL '
I prying Through Prudential Motives.
BY MARY VALE.
-Mr dear Mrs. Elmer," said I, taking my
I ,'Vher feet, as her visitor, a sentimental
- ladv of tiie first water, left the room,
7[ | o t bear you express a disbelief iu first
I inject it was the name of a favorite au-
Ithat attracted your attention, rather
• n v remark of mine. I merely read tiie
~!r extract from one of his letters :
\ -ure yourself that scarce one person
I - / twenty marries his first love ; and scarce
tof twenty of the remainder has cause
I . i c e at having done so. What we love
I (sc early days is generally rather a fanci
. ration of our own than a reality. We;
.tatues of snow, and weep when they ;
I j n m y opinion, this consummate reader of
I ,u nature never penned a truer paragraph
I [., not understand ym," said I, pnzzled.:
I ... ,i. (>t young ladies. I had formed a grand
-vof '"lirst, unchangeable, eternal love,'
i not quite relish its destruction. " I
• lit :,i.inv, after being disappointed in
I - .jf.-i'tiun, marry through prudential mo-'
. I,ut 1 cannot behove that such unious
happy-"
Y<-n fhsnlav a romantic contempt for ' pru
•al motives.' I >houJd lie sorry were you
I-iii-i-v with any other. I hope that they'
I liucrotvl tee."
My iistenisliiaent increased tenfold. I had
.regarded Mrs Elmer as a pattern of
_ml uff'dien, and had inwardly resolved)
; 1 ev-.-r mirried, I would strive to select
i.'mnd who should resemble hers in manly ,
hi. goodness, and intelligence ; only lie J
~f he t handsomer. My mind instantly
1 upon tu.- want of beauty as the cause '
.■li, at th ■ time of her marriage., had pre
*ei! lovt Loin mingling with the motives
'1 had induced Iter to accept him."
You are h.-w,ldcred, I see," she said, with
amused look at my face. " I have shocked
ir rcliued notions of matrimony most tor- .
.ami, to get myself into favor again, shall i
■AW to tell ym a real love story—of first love, J
When I was about your age—and, if I
1 will excuse me, I will add, in soiue res- .
•n piite as nonsensical, even more, perhaps,
I was an only and petted child—l resid
. a smali town in the interior of the State.
of 15 was better and more
than ; s generally to lie found in so re
i a place ; and, although at a distance
: the metropolis, il tri weekly stage, which
Mgiit us the newspapers and the magazines
a month, kept us from failing entirely be
i tic times ami the fashions. The entry j
mail-coach was, as it always is in a vil- J
an event of great importance, even if it j
re empty ; but one day the interest of the ,
am- raised to the highest pitch by the !
: '.ranee of a passenger, who alighted at
■ del, and ordered his baggage to be re
red. Iu the course of half an hour's con- i
-itiou with the landlord, he announced his ;
: ' ens to become a citizen of B . He j
i>t been admitted to the bar, and had ,
r; that there was a good opening there for ■
■au one, tiie principal lawyer of the place j
• > z died a short time before.
1 Lu* several days nothing was talked oft
' tie' iate arrival. Lawton's puns were quo- |
i y the young man, his opinion of trade by .
papas, his respectful and deferential de- :
mor praised by the mammas ; while the'
U'l.'hiers exhausted their stock of superlatives |
I .Tilling his bright eyes sweet smiles, and
uniting whiskers. In short, Mr. Lawton
nnc ai once the great men of onr ' little
, and like most other lions, paid dearly
- honors by lending a patient ear to all
'IT I I3, domestic and public; and, no mat-j
" Low pressing his business engagements |
-it lie, holding himself in readiness to play
part of chief guest at every pleasure party
• 1 merry-ma kiug. It was at one of these
• tint 1 iir<t met him. I had half made up
. muni to dislike him. I had pictured liiiu
Mieeited and foppish, and was resolved to
v tiie good people of B , that they
• veu making fools of themselves only t>
v his self-love. He should see, too, that
them at least was not to be bilnded by
- 1 How 11 speeches and outside show. Ac
-1 did not look towards the end of
i''Wai where 1 knew lie was stationed for
;f iy au hour after 1 entered. I had been
"' ""'sed for a week or two previous, and
•re had never met him even at church.
1 "Ugtli I was led to the piano, by one who
' ' vii our Adonis until recently, and whom
v treated with more affability than 1 had
" r before shown. 1 had played several pie
/ and hud sung divers songs, which were
' " C| l by the company : there was a pause in
" detuuml, and I took advantage of it to sing
' ur ite, aud what 1 intend should be the last
•re quitting the musical-stool. It was
■''•ores Farewell." In the thoughts mspir
j "} the exquisite mournful words and music,
"'•l almost forgotten the presence of others,
1. chancing to raise tny eyes, I enconnter
' H gaze which sart'ed and confused me—l
■ 1 not tell why. Standing at one corner of
l,lv truiiicnt, niuiost facing me, aud bending
y forward as if to drink in every bote,
1 young man, a stranger, aud handsome
'-b to satisfy even your fastidious taste.
1 ''ice portraits, ami I will describe him as
lea appeared to me. He was tall, with a
- if e of the most graceful proportions, walk
/ "iid moving as if he had been the monarch
v universe ; raven hair, not curling, but
'i- around a fine, thoughtful brow ; eyes
' Dished a d glowed at times, until I hardly
'V" '"°k at tliAni, and anon seemed melting
v ''' ( tenderness ; perfect teeth, aud a smile
1 even now I must acknowledge was sin-
gularly svteef. I rlirj not make these observa
tions at first ; for I looked away instantly.but
could feel that nis regards were fixed 011 me
still. He remained motionless until I ceased
singing, and then walked slowly away. 111 a
few seconds, the lady of the house, bringing
him up to me, introduced Mr. Lawton. This
was done, I know, by special request, since
the worthy hostess had several marriageable
daughters, and was never known to neglect
their interests for the momentary gratification
of a guest ; and I was sufficiently well acquaint
ed with her to read chagrin in her eyes as she
presented him. This proof of admiration, cou
pled to the one he had already given me, soft
ened somewhat my determination to treat him
coldly ; and, had these failed, his address must
have disarmed mc. His voice, when address
ing a lady, was ever soft and low—an excel
lent thing, in a man as well as woman; and his
manner on this occasion respectful almost to
timidity.
" He stood by me for a short time, making
remarks and replying to mine with distant gra
vity, until a rather lively observation from me
caused him to turn his eyes to my face with a
smile, at the same time responding in a gayer
tone. The ice was now broken ;he soon drew
a chair to my side and moved no more during ;
the remainder of the evening. If I had been
pleased with his appearance ami manner, 1
was charmed with the insight which his con- |
versation gave me to his mind. 1 have al
ways cordially detested the soft nothings and
chitchat with which others of the sex are wont I
to regale us. I had rather be fed all my life ;
upon sylabu >s and wliipt creams. Lawton's first
approach , to this interesting compound was
checked by a remark similar to this,hut couch
ed, I daresay, in more elegant terms, for in
those days I prided myself upon what I con- i
ecived to be the perfect propriety of my lan
guage. He took the hint, and at once led the
conversation into other channels, touching 1
highly upon different topics, until his quick eye :
assured him that he had found one one peculiar
ly interesting to me. lit; spoke of music, and
from this, bv a most natural translation we wan
.
dered to poetry, from poetry to romance, and
works of a graver n iture. I was now com
pletely in my element. From my earliest child
hood I had been an indefatigable book-worm,
devouring everything that came within my
reach ; my brain was filled with a muss of hete
rogenous lore, crowded in without order ; but
1 could generally find a little knowledge of
almost any subject,
" My love of poetry amounted almost to a
passion, and gave a tone to my whole charac
ter. I was not in the habit of displaying my
treasures to those whom 1 considered cold and
prosiac, sordid and heartless ; but 1 hud now
met with orte who could appreciate me. With
great tact he drew me, as it were, out of my- '
self, and I was not aware how completely en
gaged I had been, until a movement of depar
ture throughout the room warned me of the
lateness of the hour. I arose.
"You are not going yet,surely?" said my
companion in a tone of surprise. "'lt is very
early "
" I held up my watch ; he effected great won
derment, and begged to be allowed the plans
ure of attending rue home.
" Do you know," said I, as he assisted me
to put on my cloak, " that if our conversation
of the !a>t hour has been overheard, we have
lost, irretrievably lost our reputation as fol
lowers of the boa ton lam alone to blame, j
as you are a comparative stranger ; yet I
thought you had resided here long enough to
know that it is high treason in a gentleman to
speak of literature to a lady. It is regarded
as an insinuation that there are tilings in the
world worthy of attention besides herself. I)o \
not think me illnatured. I only say this to
show that my fault was not one of ignorance
of established rules, which is, in such a case, a
more heinous sin than wilful transgression.'
" lam hot so ignorant as you imagine,"he |
answered. ' I flatter myself that I am alrea
dy mi fail to the court rules of II 'liiis ,
I speedily discovered to be one of t ie most iiu- .
perativc, and have met with no temptation to I
break it until to night. At least,' he continu- J
ed, ' I shall have a companion in misfortune ; :
for if I ain convicted in pedantry, you will not 1
escape the title of " blue."
" I did not rest well that night ; my dreams j
were troubled by the picture of a stem school- ,
master, whose every third word was Greek or j
Latin, and myself seated by his side, in solemn
state, with an immense black letter tome in my ■
lap, and my feet covered with a pair of indigo j
; stockings. But then a voice murmured, 'At
least I have a companion in misfortune ;' and
I turned to meet the laughing glance of my
new acquaintance.
I "He made his first call a day or two after
' wards, and from that time was a constant visi
tor. 1 was, remember, very young, and new
to the world, my knowledge of which was
' drawn from romances, all of which assured me
that li e without love was nought. 1 had long
treasured in iny secret soul an ideal being,
whom 1 endowed with every grace and virtue,
and I now found myself repeating—
' But from tlr.it first hour I met thee,
All caught real life from you.'
The more I thought of it, the more firmly con
vinced was I that this extraordinary windfall,
dropped as it were at my wry feet, was de
signed by my good genius fur my especial ben
efit. I can truly suy that I made no effort to
attract him. I looked with contemptuous am
usement upon the manoeuvres and lures of my
young companions, never feeling jealous of any
attention which they might extort, well know
ing that, although he might linger with them
for a while, he would ere long, be found again
Iby my side. I even delighted to appear per
fectly indifferent when in their presence, and
I have since thought that he was himself de
ceived by my manner, and piqued iu an at
tempt to inspire other feelings.
" Time flow on, and the gossips of the town
legan to wonder if we were engaged, and, il
not, why he delayed the declaration. But none
of these troubled me. I was only too happy
to have him near rue—to feel his eyes fixed on
me if reading my very soul—to mark how
PUBLISHED EVERY THURSDAY AT TOWANDA, BRADFORD COUNTY, PA., BY E. O'MEARA GOODRICH.
" RECIARDLESS OT DEWUNCIATION FROM ANT QUARTER."
widely his manner to me differed from his de
portment to others—to pour into au ever at
tentive ear the thoughts and feelings that four
of ridicule had hitherto 'ed me to conceal with
in my own bosom. Of love we never spoke ;
but he Wore a gentle protecting air, as if lie
felt that he had a riuiit to guideNnd support
me ; while 1 looked up to him with a confid
ing tenderness—a little singular in one by
nature so high spirited and independent. I
heard that he was at times petulant, even pas
sionate : some called him a heartless trifler ;
and all agreed that lie was conceited—except
myself. Who had a better right to know and
understand him than I ? Yet I saw nothing
of all these faults ; and if they existed, I felt
that I could have loved him better, perhaps ;
for the distance between us would have been i
lessened. So I set these remarks down to the
score of envy, and smiled complacently at iny
keen discernment of character and motives.
" Matters were in this train when I one day
received a call from Miss Xoyes, the belle, as
she was called—a distinction to which she was
by no means insensible or indifferent. She
treated me with an unwonted degree of affec
tion and sociability, which 1 knew presaged
something peculiarly disagreeable.
" Do you go to Mrs. Henderson's party to
morrow night ?" she inquired presently.
"I expect to attend," said I.
" No doubt your presence will be very agree
able to most of the company ; but I know u
few who would rather you would remain at
home. There are a set of designing misses who
can never forgive your monoply of the onlv
decent bean fate has granted us ;or I should ■
say that he monopolizes you, since 1 have never
seen that desire for his attentions which he "
says you have shown."
Half of this speech, smoothly and innocently j
as it was delivered, would have sufficed to
make my blood boil. I*i a voice choked with j
passion I ejaculated—" 1 desire his atten
tions !"
" Forgive mo, my love ; I would not wound
or excite your feelings for the world ; but as a ;
friend, 1 repeat this that you may refute the ,
false charge, not by words but by actions. The j
remark 1 alluded to I heard myself ; and lie
added—the scandalous fellow—that he was
too old a bird to be caught with chaff 1"
"With a mighty effort I commanded myself :
sufficiently to thank her for her disinterested j
kindness, and assure her tiiat, if an opportuni- I
ty offered, 1 should gladly reciprocate the i
favor. She to>k her leave, and I gave way tq
my feelings. Disappointed love, mortified pride
aud resentment strove for mastery in my
breast The latter triumphed : and with
glowing cheeks, 1 hastened to my toilet, re
solving to make him feel to the utmost the
mortification lie would have me experience.—
Never had I bestowed such pains upon my
person. 1 carefully laid aside every article
of dress or ornament that he particularly ad
mired, taking care, however, to replace them
by others equally lieeoming. My stern deter
mination was nearly overcome by a very beau
tiful bouquet, which was handed ine just as I
was rea< v to go. The tears rushed to my eyes;
but drove them back, and, without looking for
the delicate note of compliments which I knew
iiy perdu, among the leaves, I tossed it into
the tire.
" The -first person that I saw upon entering
the room was Mss Xoyes, who, 'lapped iu
Elysium," was listening to the sugared senten
ces poured into her white ear by the scandal
oas fellow whose conduct she had deprecated.
His face lighted up instantly, but 1 affected
not to see him. Half an hour more saw me
engaged in a rattling flirtation with a young
naval officer, now on a visit to B We
promenaded, and I swept past Lawton, bang
ing 011 the middy's arm, apparently in the
finest humor with myself and my new conquest.
The conversation of my companion was the
flattest ot small talk; lint I listened as to the
wisdom of a Solon. I ventured one look at
Lawton as we passed him for the twentieth
time, He had left Miss Xoyes, and leaned
against the wall, silent and moody. I declin
ed walking any longer when we reached the
other end of the room, and threw myself upon
a sofa. The middy pouted, and I recollected
that his fine figure and bright buttons could j
not be seen to much advantage in his retired j
corner, and sent him to borrow a fan from a j
lady some distance off. He requested it in
his own name; and she, of course did not re
sign it without a little coquettish trifling,
which occupied some time.
" You are enjoying yourself much to night,"
said a voice at my elbow.
" I bowed asseutingly, gazing with much
interest at the gold lace upon the officer's co!
lar.
" I am not," lie said in a lower tone.
" I dared not trust myself to speak, but !
looked as frigid as an iceberg.
" I cannot lie happy when I fear that I
have alienated a friend,' he continued, with a j
perseverance that surprised me; " and it is
verv evident that such i< the ease with you.— !
I know you to well to suspect von of caprice, |
and therefore blame myself, although uncoil- :
sscious of tny offence. You were wont to be
i frankness itself; will you not explain the cause
of your changed manner ? I am ready to i
make any apolocy or reparation that will place j
its upon our former friendly footing."
" My gallant tar returned with the fan, and
like a booby us he was, banded it to Lawton
supposing that he had usurped his place, and
steered off in search of another prize. A ttle
a-lete was unavoidable. I felt my inability to
hold ont much longer, and abruptly answer d
—" Do not trouble yourself to render apolo
gies; from such a source and under such cir
cumstances, they would be even more worth
less than chaff; and, to use your own elegant
phrase, "old birds cannot be caught with
that !"
"My own phrase ! You surprise me. Ido
not understand," said lie, iu such genuine won
derment, that I could not doubt It is words.—
" Ellen, there is something wrong here."
" It was the first time lie had ever adres
scd me by 'his name.
" I will know what it is," lie pursued, plant
ing himself firmly iu front of mc; and the rigid
cross-examination that ensued, indeed, elicited
the truth, all except that name of iny inform
ant. " Answer me but one question; was it u
man ?" he demanded, fiercely.
" It was not."
" And pray, what lady stands so high in
your estimation, that you will receive from her
a tale like this, of one who has never given
you cause to doubt his word or honor ?"
" Again I refused to gratify him, and he
contented himself with an explicit and indig
nant denial of the charge. From this moment
we were closer friends than ever. Often since
has my cheek crimsoned at the thought that,
on this occasion, I fairly challenged a declara
tion ; but then I was too ignorant, as well as
happy, to think of it.
" The winter passed, spring, summer ; and
the frost began to give signs of the decline of j
the year. It was the day preceding my birth- j
day and my ever-indulgent parents hud pro- !
raised me a fete upon that occasion. Night
had closed in and I sat alone in the parlor,
ray father and mother having gone to see a
sick neighbor. I lay upon a lounge, my eyes
closed and my mind filled with bright antici
pations and rosy dreams. A knock at the door
made me start; it was a gentle tan, but one
♦hat I had emphatically learned by heart. I
stood in trembling expectation until a servant
ushered in the visiter My heart was a true
prophet. He saluted me with more cordiality
than usual, and tried to talk of indifferent sub
jects; yet I could see that his thoughts were
wandering. After an hour spent iu this man
ner, he looked at his watch, started up, sat
down, then rising again, with a desperate at
tempt at composure, asked me for his favorite
song; it was the same song that I was singing
when 1 first met his eye, aud lie had told me j
that the feeling manner in which I had exe- ;
cuted it had attracted him to the piano. He
played finely on the flute, and was accustomed I
to accompany me, but now declined. "lie ;
would rather hear my voice alone."
" Thank you," he said sighing, as I eonclud- !
ed. " I shall never hear that song without j
thinking of yon; and it is with deep sadness j
that 1 reflect that this is the last time I shall
hear it from your lips for years—perhaps for- j
ever 1"
" I felt myself growing faint : I did not 1
speak; and he went 011 to explain that he had !
been chosen attache to a foreign embassy, had ;
that day heard of the appointment, and should j
be forced to leave town early the next niorn
ing.
" In all probability I shall be absent four !
years, possibly for a linger p< riod. In some 1
respects this change will be highly advantage- |
otis and agreeable to me; but 1 have in my so- ;
journ here, formed friendships that it pains me i
to break. I have not a moment to spare this
evening; but I could not leave without thank )
ing you for the kindness I have received under j
th is roof. It has seemed not an abode of stran
gers bat like my own dear home. Believe me,
my dear Miss Ellen, whatever may be the
events and changes of my future life, I shall
ever cherish fondly the remembrance of the
happy hours I have spent with you. In the
beautiful words you have just sung—-
" Let Fwte (1" her worst, there are relies of joy.
Bright gleams of the past, which she cannot do-.tr >y ; j
But which come ia the night-time of sorrow and care. j
To bring hack the features that j >y ised to wear."
" Scarcely knowing what 1 did, I accompa
nied liiiu to the door, murmuring a few parting
words in answer to his affectionate farewell.—
My hand lay for an instant in his—was res
pectfully raised to his lips—the next moment I
was alone. I strained my eyes to watch his
figure through the thick darkness, and listened
to the echo of his hasty step upon the pave
ment until it died away iu the distance.
" And this was the end of my fairy dreams !
Gone, gone, for ever ! rang in my ears as I
sank upon a seat in the piazza, and bowed my
head upon my hands. I did not weep ; I was
<OO wretched. A cold autumnal rain was fall
ing ; the drizzling mist lay heavily upon my hair
and dress ; I aid not regard it ; I even bared
my brow to the damped air, to cool its fever- 1
ish throbbing ; and, as the night wind moaned
through the fading vines, I thought of the
churclvyard and wished that that breeze rns
tied tiie grass over my unconscious head. The j
sound of voices aroused ffie ; they were these
of my parents at a distance. 1 hastily sought
my chamber, but not to sleep. Tiie morning
found ine calmer. One thing was uppermost
in my mind ; none should know my disappoint
ment. I will not weary you with the details
of the long-wished for festival, the very thought
of which was now sickening to me. I forced
myself to go through with it ; arrayed in my '
gala attire, played the smiling hostess and
liglp-hearted girl ; even listened unlliuchly to
Miss Xoyie's lamentations over what she call
ed " our mutual and irreparable loss." One
circumstance relieved me in a measure, since it j
showed that no one suspected my real senti- |
meats. Lawton was known to have honored
ine with a parting call, and rumor said that one
great cause of his sudden departure was my re
jection of his suit. My indifftreuce, on being
rallied on the subject, confirmed the impres
sion. Necessity and pride taught medis>imu
lalioti. 1 brooded over my griefs in silence ;
in the presence of otherswas extravagantly gay.
My health began to sutler from this unnatural
state of mind, and with secret delight I saw
each morning the change that a day made in
my appearance ; my checks grew ptiler, and
eyes uaore dim. It would bo a beautiful piece
of constancy to die for bis sake ! I pictured
when, at his return, he should learn that I was
no more—his surprise, grief, and remorse. In
a secret drawer in my cabinet lay a parcel di
rected to liiin, " not to lie open until alter my
death." It contained sundry notes, uuimport
| ant in themselves, but. sacred in my eyes, to
gether with dried flowers, aud one or two tri-
I fles presented by him. A farewell letter was
! to be added, and this was to be written iu due
time.
" One day I felt more languid than usual,
and considered that 1 had better begin this pre
cious document while I had strength. Accor
dingly I had seated myself at my desk, and
dipped my pen in the ink, when a rap at the
door made me drop it upon the paper, thereby
causing a frightful blot. In no araiabie mood,
I obeyed a summons from my father, who the
servant said awaited ine iu the parlor.
" My friend, Mr. Elmer, my dear," he said
as I entered ; and a young man bowed whom
I had never seen before.
" I had, a few days previous, heard my fa
ther speak of a certain Rupert Elmer, son ot
an old crony of his who had written to inquire
if the station Lawton had occupied were yet
vacant. " And he thinks to fiil his place !
You need no description of mynew acquaintance
the few years thai have clasped since the time
of which I speak have produced little change
in him. In person lie differed widely from his
predecessor, and iu character not less. Some
what to my vexation,he —at my father's earnest
solicitation—became an inmate of onr house ;
and I was thus thrown into daily intercourse
with him. I treated him with frigid politeness,
which he met with unvarying courtesy—not
strained,but proceeding from the intimate kind
ness of his heart.
" My manner altered by degrees ; I no lon
ger availed myself of every opportunity to es
cape from the room, and seek the companion
ship of my own sad thoughts. My heart was
still too full of the memory of the absent to
think of another, and I could not join in the
encomiums passed every day, iu my hearing, ;
upon the amiability and intelligence of the new !
comer ; but I began to look upon hi in as a 1
pleasant, good young man, whose conversation !
might be agreeable when one had nothing bet
tcr to engage attention. He took less notice
of ine than of any other member of the house
hold ; held mamma's silks, and sketched pat
terns for her embroidery, and read aloud to
papa. He read well ; and his manner, more
than the beauty of his style,caused me to listen ;
with pleasure. He was popular—why, I could
not tell. He was too straightforward and can
did to be a lady's man, and detested sycophan
cy too heartily to seek patronage. Yet his
coming was always hailed with pleasure, aud
he soon obtained a thriving practice.
" My selfish sorrows were interrupted by real
affliction. My father was taken ill wth a lin
gering fever, that slowly dr ed the blood in his
veins and wasted his strength. My mother,
always delicate, was soon too feeble to render
much assistance, and I became his constant
attendant. Absorbed in the cares and anxie
ties of the sick-room, I scarcely noticed who
were my companions, aud paid no regard to
one who hung over the patient sufferer with
the devotion of a son and tenderness of a wo
man. One night I took my place by the bed
side, with a spirit worn down with depression.
There were no signs of a favorable change,
and hope forsook my bosom. I gazed upon
the palid face, and thought how soon the re
maining spark of anaimtion would forsake it !
The blow, I felt, would lie too heavy for the
devoted wife. The anticipation was too har
rowing ; my fortitude gave way, and I burst
into tears. My sobs did not brack the stupor
like sleep of the invalid ; hut some one entered
hastily through the open door of an adjoining
apartment. It was Elmer, who,with an alarm
ed look, passed to the side of the lied,and press
ed his linger lightly ujiou the thin wrist that
lay upon the coverlet.
" His pulse is feeble, but regular—he whis
pered ; "and his fever is off. I hope—l think
he is oetter. Let me entreat you not to dis
tress yourself."
" 1 could not answer. With the gentle force
of a brother lie led nie to the open window,
made me drink a glass of water, and, as I grew
composed, playfully threatened to give me into
the Inihds of the physician, if I did not keep
my feelings under better control.
■' 1 know it is difficult, especially as you hive
been tasked beyond your strength. 1 have
watched you with great uneasiness. Will you
not be persuaded to rest during the remainder
of the night ? As I told you before, 1 think
him better ; at least there is no* immediate
danger. 1 promise to summon you upon the
slightest change. Will you trust nie ?"
"Mrs Aiuslie is to watch part of the night,"
said 1 ; " but I sliuil not retire ; I could not
sleep What is mv health compared with
his ?"
" But for his sake you must preserve it "
" And you ?'' said I, remarking his jaded
look for the first time.
" Oli, that is nothing ; I am accustomed
to it 1"
" Yon have been up much lately ?" I asked
recollecting that the door through which he
had come had been open for several nights,
and that in the apartment, the library, I had
seen a light.
" I sit up late studying," he rejoinedjCvading
the remark. "But I remember a time when
for fourteen nights I did not close my eyes ; a
time that makes all that i am now able to do
seem as nothing."
" You are then an experienced nurse."
" 1 learned in a hitter school ; at the death
bed of my own mother. He spoke in a sad
dened tone.
" I should die too,*' said I, glancing at the
bed while tears again filled iuy eyes. " How
could yon bear it ?"
" I bear it. that I may be better fitted to
meet her hereafter. £he taught me submission
to the will of Him who doth all things right."
" Here ended the convi rsation for this time.
After a vain endeavor again to induce me to
, rest, he retired, leaving the door slightly ajar. 4
1 compared my violent grief with the chastened
| sorrow of this pious son. His bereavement
I was recent, 1 knew ; for when he first came to
15 -he was dressed in deep mourning, 1
had never inquired of whom. T c invalid
stirred in his'sleep, [ stood by him ; and, as I
pressed my lip to his brow, inwardly resolved,
" 1 too will bear it, that 1 way meet you in a
happier world."
" The much dreaded blow did not fall; symp
toms of amendment appeared, gradually,
strength and health returned. I was again
free to follow inv former habits of thought and
action, but had little inclination to do so. My
feelings had ui dergone a change ; they flowed
now iu a difierent channel. I felt the folly of
the dreaming, useless life I had led, and so set
work in good earnest to effect a reformation—
not by rnr own strength, hut with the aid of
VOL. XIX. XO. 11.
llim who is ever ready to receire the penitent.
; Elmer's companionship and connsei were of
great benefit to me. By degrees, I learned to
i hok upon him as a dear friend ; but the thought
i of his being anything, nearer never occnrred to
, me. Judging from my experience on the sub
; ject, I tliouprlit love a mental hallucination. —
I i Some writer has remarked, "there is no anguish
• like that of an error of which we are ashamed,"
and I felt this truth deeply. I regarded Ru
pert as a brother, and therefore great was my
! surprise when informed by my father that he
hod asked his consent to address me. The old
' gentleman had assured him of his warmest
wishes for his sncetss ; nnd,although he forbade
i to urge me, I saw that his heart yearned to
embrace him as a son. Firmly resolved, as I
! believed myself, not to accept him, I could not
bring myself sndden'y to disappoint a parent
whom I loved so fondly, and avoided giving a
direct answer.
" Perplexed and sorrowful, I left him, and
sought rcli fin the open air. Stepping out of
the door, I found myself in the very spot where
I had parted with Law ton just eight months
before. It was a lovely mouth of June ; hut I
was too perturbed to notice its beauty. Rest
lessly I paced the piazza, unable to define my
' own feeling-, or to form any settled determinn
j tion ; the more I thought, the more my first
I-resolve wavered. I considered the character
j of my lover ; in every position of life firm as a
rock when duty required, yet on every other
occasion ready to sacrifice his own pleasures to
promote the happiness of others. I dwelt upon
iiis strict integrity, his manly honor and deli
cacy his warm friend-hip.
" A voice pronounced my name, and he was
by my side. I did not tremble ; my heart felt,
warmer, but its motion was net quickened. I
did not withdraw my hand as he drew it within
liis own—in short, my love, there was nothing
romantic in the whole affair. We walked be
neath the bright moon, and conversed calmly
and seriously upon the proposed change in our
prospects All my agitation, the effect of irre
solution was gone. I refused to give a definite
reply ; but he was not very unhappy w hen wo
re-entered the house.
" At the end of the time I had asked for de
liberation, during which I had reflected much
and solemnly. I yielded my consent ; nnd, a
few months after, took the name of him whom
I now loved and honored more than any human
being. With a full sense of onr frailties, and
an humble dependence upon One who conld
alone make our life one of peace and happiness
we entered upon our new state ; and I can say
that, my lot has been happy, fur more delight
ful than I deserve."
"But Lawton," said I,drawing a long breath,
" did yon ever meet him again ? Perhaps you
would have been equally blest with him."
She shook her head with a half sad smile—-
" I have seen him : but my cup was none
the less sweet after onr meeting. About two
years ago, we were returning from a visit to
Rupert's relations, who reside in the State of
New York. The fashionable summer season
was just over,and the steamboat, as it ploughed
its way through the noble Hudson, carried a
crowd of living beings within its bosom. We
were seated on the upper deck, enjoying the
; cool breeze that sprung up at sunset, and ad
miring the splendid view spread on both sides
of us, when I discovered that I had left my
reticule in the Indies' saloon. Rupert instantly
offered to look for it, and went below accord
ingly. Justus lie dissappeared, I became con
scious that a pair of eyes were surveying me
from the other side of the boat, with a gaze
more eager tlmu polite or agreeable. At
! length, annoyed by the pertinacious and con
tinued stare, I raised my head nnd looked the
owner of the orbs fully in the face. There was
something strangely familiar about his couu
j tenance. Where had I met him before ? That
he was an acquaintance I could not doubt. My
glance perhaps expressed this conviction, for
i lie arose and approached with a smile. I knew
I him well enough now ; that smile brought back
I a throng of recollections.
" Forgive roe ; but ran I he mistaken in sup
posing that 1 address Miss 11 a I land V
" Mr.Lawton, I believe," said I as he offer
ed hi hand.
" I was perfectly self-possessed, and must
have appeared far less delighted at the recog
nition than he did. lie probably had not alter
ed much ; but lie was so aniike Lnwton the
ideal, that I did not wonder I had not observed
him before. To my no longer blinded eyes he
was less stately and graceful ; his eyes wero
keen, but not so beautiful as of old ; his voice
had little of the melody that had once thrilled
my heart ; his smile and teeth alone seemed the
same. With an air of easy assurance he drop
ped into the vacant seat beside me.
" You have not changed,l have l>eeh watch
ing you for the last half hour in the vain hope
of attracting your attention, and had become
almost savage in my intentions towards the
happy fellow who seemed to interest you so
completely. Pray who is he ? Here he comes
again."
" With a sensation of proud satisfaction, I
introduced " My husband, Mr. Elmer."
'• llotli gentlemen bowed ; one with an air of
surpr'se— the other, 1 thought, rather distant
ly. Before I could form any conjecture as to
the cause of this coldness, Elmer turned to me
*' 1 met with a friend just now to whom I
i wish to introduce you—Mrs. Lawton. \our
ladv, I presume, sir !"
" Lawton liodded.
" I promised to conduct you to her," pursu
ed Rupert. " 1 tried to induce her to como
upon do> k ; but she feared you would not think
it prudent/' addressing her liege lord. Shu
lonk< delicate ; is she an invalid ?"
'• Not particularly. Like most ladies, sbo
imagines herself nervous and ill. Ido not
oppose her coming into the air. For my part
I would not lie confined to that hot saloon "
" In that case, we will invite her to join us,"
said mv husband with an expression of more
contempt than I had ever before seen in his
look ; and offering mc his arm, we sought the
neglected wife together.
" She was a putty eryatnVc, r< fined-looking
and lady like. Her voice was sweet; but to mv
car, it bad a plaintive to;:c Fife r r tviv:d uie