OTF DOLLAR PER annum invariably in Advance. TOWANDA: Jtereban ftiorumn, November 2U, 1857. jstkftb Ipoetrg. TBE HUSKCftfI. BV JOHN G. WU ITT IKK. Heap high the Farmer's wintry hoard! Heap high the Golden Corn! No richer gift has Autumn poured From out her lavish horn. Let other lands exulting glean The apple from the pine, The orange from the glossy green, The cluster fft>m the vine : We better love the hardy gift Our ragged vales bestow, To cheer us wheu the storm shall drift Our harvest-fields with snow. When spring time came, with flower and bud, And grassy green and young, And merry bob'links, in the wood, Like mad musicians sung, We dropped the seed o'er hill and plain, Beneath the sun of May, And frightened from our sprouting grain The robber-crows away. All through the long, bright days of June, Its leaves grew thin and fair ; And waved in hot midsummer's noon Its soft and yellow hair. And now, with Autumn's moon-lit eves, Its harvest-time has come : We pluck away the frosted leaves, And bear the treasures home. There, richer than the fabled gift Of golden showers of old. Fair hands the broken grain shalt sift, And knead its meal of gold. Let vapid idlers 101 l in silk Around their costly board- Give us a bowl of samp and milk, By homespun beauty poured. Where'er the wide old kitchen hearth Sends op its smoky curls, Who will not thank the kindly earth, And bless our corn-fed girls ? Let earth withhold the kindly root ; Let mildew blight the rye ; Give to the worm the orchard's fruit; The wheat-field to the fly : But let the good old crop adorn The hills our fathers trod ; Btill let us for his Golden Corn Send up our thanks to GOD 1 IRisrtllantous. [From the Philadelphia Bulletin ] Beautiful Women—A Lecture by the Countess of Landsfelt. Madame Lola Montez came before an au dience as large as any we have seen for a long time, at Musical Fund Hall, on Saturday evening. The great proportion were gentle men, but the rows of black coats were varied every here aud there by the bright array of ladies fair in all the glory of silks, satins, hoops. ; flounces and new bonnets. The fair lecturer wore a white silk dress with a lace Casque, and her beautiful hair was elegantly yet sim ply arranged Many curious eyes and unwiel dy lorgnettes were directed toward the hero ine of so many adventures, and it is to be pre sumed that many of her audience, led by sim ple curiosity, saw her face for tbe first time, although she appeared at both the Chestnut street and Walnut street Theatres in this city not a very long time ago. For the information of those who did not see the Countess on either of the above occa sions, we may mention that she is a slight, delicate-looking lady, about the medium height, with black hair, a pale face—very pale indeed —and large, deep, melancholy eyes, lighting tip her rather care-worn features with wonder ful power, and changing with the airiest varia tions of expression, quickly as a thought or a j Her gestures were simple yet graceful and remarkably expressive, aud her voice, which seemed to fill the hail, clear, fine and well modulated. A mere tinge of foreign ac cent and a slight hesitation as to a grammati cal phrase rather added to the charm of her pnpiant discourse. The subject was " Beautiful Women," and the lecturer began by reciting a classic fable ahout the last and most difficult office imposed on Psyche, which was to descend to the lower regions aud bring back a portion of Proser pine's beauty in a box. The too curious god dess raised the top, when lo ! a vapor rose mistily from under the lifted lid and floating away, left the box empty and the goddess ig norant. go it was with an attempt to arrive at the essential charm of beauty—we strive to 2nd out its component parts, and behold the charm has fled ! Then too, another difficulty a f!c ; beauty has no fixed standard ;no im mutable regulation* A beautiful woman in the luited States is not a beautiful woinau in t ckin, and the notion about beauty among the Mongols, differs from the Eurojiean idea. e itnaeiue a graceful and delicate woman beautiful, and the beauties of Rubens weigh three hundred pounds ! Even his Graces are ■jj'•' So that the to futlon —the essentially beautiful, is .hard to find. Some writers have attempted to surmount the difficulty by de claring that nothing in itself is beautiful or otherwise ; it becomes so by association ; but . ' s making beauty a rherely negative quali -7i to which we cau hardly agree. Red hair has generally been considered wher than beautiful ; yet in Queen Elizabeth's ttwe it was extremely fashionable, and Mary yaeen of Scots, who had beautiful dark hair, *ore red fronts in compliment to the red hair ? Queen of England. The gorgeous Cleo patra was red haired, and the Venetian ladies this day counterfeit golden locks. Yellow a title to consideration, for ® wier 1 °* the goldeD fleece was o created '♦ fallow Wr*4 fwvkf THE BRADFORD REPORTER. So fickle aud variable are the tests and ideas among different nations 1 The lover of Don gola sighs for a pair of Hps two inches thick, [laughter] and the lover of Pekin could not endure a lady whose feet were large enough to walk upon. A Circassian Helen is straight nosed, and has a fair complexion—it is the type of beauty of Circassia. Cross but a mountain, to Tartary, and high noses and tan- Led skins are the lover's lean ideal. But I must stop this discussion, lest I sweep away from the heart and eyes of any lover the charms upon which his lady is now reposing. (Laughter and applause.) While studying the English language, I was struck with the declaration in Mr. Hume's Essays, that nothing in itself was beautiful or the reverse ; that our ideas of it arise from sentiment and opinion ; and that an infallible standard is ireqiossible to be settled. It is said that sixty women sat to Canova for his \ enns, and that his idea was made up from a comparison and consideration of the charms of this whole nnmber I The beauty of women has settled and un settled the fate of empires and republics, said the fair lecturer, who went on to quote from Lucian on this point. She then cited the He len of Homer, guilty cause of so much blood shed, yet before whose loveliuess the uplifted sword of Priam fell, nnd his mighty arm sauk nerveless to his side. The power of beauty was further discussed, nnd the Countess quoted Pope's " beauty draws us by a singie hair." She then spoke of the slight character of the charms which hud so often overturned empires and disturbed the peace of nations. Indjed, she had often been forced to reflect on Milton's lines, " and what adinirest thou, 0 man !" when in the company ot kings and nobles in Europe. The evanescence of beauty was the next point touched on by the Countess, and she spoke with genuine pathos of the fading and fleeting charm which hovers about the loveli ness of women. A breaking wave i 3 most beautiful just as it pauses on the curl ; the setting sun glorifies the world and melts into the divine beauty of evening ; but the loveli uess of woman knows no second life. The wave may rise aud break again end the sad dest and loveliest evening but awaits a morn ing to the full as beautiful. The rose may die amid its perfume in the autumn, but it lives again in May. Woman only knows no second May. "We all do fade as a leuf" Aud while that ladv combs her tresses before her glass, does she reflect that they are growing gray ? But in vain shall I attempt to preach down : the charm of lieauty ; pulpits have for I don't how many thousand years shown its illusion, i its vanity, its evanescence ; yet no feather has ' ever been plucked from its wing, no leaf ever stripped from its crown. But the subject at present under considera- 1 tiou was the beauty of women and the best j means of its development and preservation, and the speaker proceed to sketch the types of beauty she had met in various parts of tlie world, for her experience had been so wide that she had seen the loveliest womeu in all the principal nations of the earth. She thought the most perfect types of female beauty she j had ever seen, were in aristocratic circles in Europe. England came first, and in heropin- ' ion, the Duchess of Sutherland was the most j beautiful woman she had ever seen. In Fiance ; the charm of the woman consists more in their ] vivacity, and in the easy gracefulness of their ; manners. In Italy, the women are loving and : lovely. They must have plenty of love and j " lots " of intrigue. Speaking of Turkish beauties, she mention- ' ed that through the courtesy of Sir Stratford de Ivedcliffe, then English minister at Con- i stantinople, she had visited the Sultan's ha rem. The beauties in this " institution " were J all fat ; huge masses of butter and pounded rose leaves. [Laughter.] She excited their deepest commiseration on her appearance there because she was not fat, and these pieces of ; Turkish " furniture " wanted to stuff her with , their butter and rose leaves. [Renewed mer-; riment.l Should your American Plato, Mr. ' Ralph Emerson, ever visit the dominions of the Sultan and see these specimens of Turkish ; beauty, he would eertainly exclaim, " II hat (Juan-ti t y." [lt is impossible to give on pa-j per the inimitable fun there was in this " take off" on Mr. Emerson's solemn, ex cathedra ! tone. The fair speaker stood stern and solemn as a sphynx, and with a look as grave and \ awful as that of the "Transcendental Vankee'" ; himself, she enunciated What Quan-li-ty ! at the same time bringing her petite clenched ' hand down npon the desk, to cap the empha-! sis "j—The lecturer continued in tliis strain at I considerable length, giving her experience of i beautiful womeu in all parts ot the world.— | She then proceeded to speak of the causes of i the decay of beauty. Late hours, dissipation ' and unwholesome feeding, were fatal toicuiale beauty. Strong coffee and hot bread and butter at breakfast, cannot fail to bring on bilious dis eases, and the ultimate destruction of beauty sooner or later ; and then for dinner, said she, first soup, then fish, then roast, boiled, pastry, pies, cakes, ice cream, beer, champagne ! What human stomach can stand such a me lange as that ! After dilating on what destroyed beauty, she gave as a recipe for its preservation the observance of Temperance, exercise and clean liness. Upon the necessity of the latter, she placed great stress. The tepid bath she con sidered a great preserver of health, and con sequently of beauty. In France at one time, it became fashionable for the beauties to bathe in milk as a means of preserving their charms. This practice caused a great scarcity in the lacteal commodity, ana a rise in its price, and after a time the argus-eyed police of Pa ris discovered that the servants were in the habit of selling the milk back again to the venders, ami the latter would then dispose of it to their custodiers for tbe tea and coffee of the latter, after it 1 had already done duty for bathing 1 purposes I Tbe lecturer was of opinion tWfc tepid wa or and bran answered the fsme purport as PUBLISHED EVERY THURSDAY AT TOWANDA, BRADFORD COUNTY, PA., BY E. O'MEARA GOODRICH. " REGARDLESS OP DENUNCIATION PROM ANY QUARTER." milk as an agent for keeping the skin soft and smooth, and she instanced the case of a lady who slept each night with her face covered with a paste made of bran. Even now it is the fashion in Paris for ladies to sleep with their faces done up in slices of raw beef to keep off wrinkles ! What a sight, said the lively lecturer, for a lover I his mistress's face sandwiched in beef and tied up in a napkiu ! But such sights are not for lovers to see, or even hear of. But I hope, said she, that every gentleman present will be gallant enough to hear noth ing ot these secrets of the toilette which I am disclosing to the ladies. She then instanced some strong cases of ladies who strove to pre sent au elegant appearance, and of the means they adopted to keep at bay the ravages of time. One lady she knew who had her white satin boots sowed on her each day, and ripped off her again at night, and a pair of boots ne ver did service but a single day. This ex travagance was quite common in former days among the beauties of luxurious courts. This entertaining lecture was then closed by some very sensible remarks about the gra ces of the mind and the heart being more im portant than the beauty of the face or form. With merit, amiability, tenderness and good sense, the homeliest woman is lovely ; with out them the most beautiful woman is unat tractive to the appreciating. The speaker had known and seen lovely women everywhere from St. James to St. Petersburg, from Tur key to the islands of the Pacific, and she had never seen beauty or grace which would atone for an unlovely or unamiable heart. And, in deed, she never met with a truly lovely wo man that she did not fall in love with her and wish to be a man that she might marry her. The lecture here closed amid cordial ap plause, which had been generally bestowed at Intervals throughout the entire discourse as it sparkled through an hour aud a half. THE YANKEE AND HIS CHICKENS —One of those peculiarly slab-sided gaunt Yankees, which the prolific soil down East produces in abundance, lately emigrated and settled down in the vicinity of Chestnut Hill. He was the very picture of a mean, shiftless Yankee, but as he put himself to work in good earnest to get his house to rights, the neighbors willing ly lent him a helping hand. After he got everything according to his notions, a thought struck him that he had no chickens, aud he was powerful fond of sucking raw eggs. lie was too honest to steal them, and too mean to buy them. At last a thought struck him, he could borrow. He then went tea neigh bor and accosted him : " Wall, I reckon you hain't got no old hen nor nothin' you would lend me for a few weeks ?" " I will lend you one with pleasure," replied his neighbor, picking out one of the finest in his coops. The Yankee took the hen home, and then went to another neighbor and bor rowed a dozen of eggs. He set the hen on the eggs, and in due course of time she hatch ed out a dozen chickens. The Yankee was again puzzled, lie could return the hen, but how was he to return the eggs. Another idea, and whoever saw a Yankee with >ut one, came to his relief, he would keep the hen until she laid a dozen eggs. He then returned the hen and the eggs to their respective owners, re marking as he did so : " Wall. I guess I've got as fine dozen of chickens as you ever laid your eyes on, and they did'nt cost me a cent nnther." CIVILITY AND SUCCESS. —A New York pa per has the following on this subject, which, possibly, may help " Young America" to see the value of the quality we are speaking of : —" Within a few years, a couple of gentle men—oue of whom was a foreigner—visited the various locomotive workshops of Philadel phia. They called at the most prominent one first, stated their wishes to look through \he establishment, and made some inquiries of a more sjiecific character. They were shown through the premises in a very indifferent manner, and no special pains were taken to give them any information beyond what their own inquiries drew forth. The same results followed their visits to the several larger es tablishments. By some means they were in duced to call on one of a third or fourth rate character. The owner was himself a work man, of limited means ; but on the applica tion of the stranger, his natural urbanity of manner prompted him not only to show all that iie It ad, but to enter into a detailed ex planation of the working of his establishment, and of the very superior manner in which he could conduct his factory, if additional facili ties of capital were afforded him. Tne gen tlemen left him, not only favorably impressed towards him, but with the feeling that he thoroughly understood his business. Within a year he was surprised with an invitation to visit St. Petersburg. The result was, his lo comotive establishment was removed there bodily. It was the agent of the Czar who had called on him, in company with an Ameri can citizen. He has recently returned, having accumulated a large fortune, and still receives from his Russian workshops about a hundred thousand dollars a year. He invests his mo ney in real estate, and has already laid the foundation for the largest fortune of any pri vate individual in Philadelphia, and all tne re sult of civility to a couple of strangers." BDaT The happiest man in the world is the man with just wealth enough to keep him iu spirits, and just childreu enough to make him industrious. fOT* A girl on a visit to the city, and fresh from the woods and wilds, wins one day asked " How she liked the country T" " Oh, ma'am," replied the girl, " I'd like the country very well if it were in the city." tgr'JL printer, in setting up,." we are but parts of a stupendous whole," by mistake of a letter, made it read, "Wo are but farts" of a#upod' > a? wß#?# " THE WOLVES ON THE TRACK, Lost in her own thoughts, Ella bad little heeded a noise which was heard time to time and which she fancied the fall of avalanches from crag to crag in the mouutaius. But now all on a sudden she remarked that her father had several times turned his head to look back, and that bis face wore a troubled expression. " What is it, father ?" she asked ; "is there anything the matter ?" " Nothing, nothing," he answered, in a short, stern manner not at all usual for him—" I hope nothing" ; and then murmured to himself, in a lower toue, " God grant it ruay be nothing." Her uneasiness by no means lessened, but understanding he did not wished to be question ed, she remaiued sileutj but with ber atten tion on the alert to discover the cause for anxiety. The dull noise in the rear certainly increased, and was heard at fitfnl intervals, now almost swelling into a note, then dying away, and was decidedly nearer than when first she had remarked it. Tbe horses, too, j seemed by some wonderful instinct to partake her father's uneasiness. Just then the noise j began afresh, and now an unmistakable howl ; sent a flash of certainty into her mind. Un able longer to bear the suspense, she half rose, I and gasped out, "O, father, is it—is it the j wolves ?" " They are a long way behind," said An dreas ; " we shall reach home well never fear." But the farmer's face contradicted his cheer ful words, and, with a sinking of heart us if its action had been stopped, and then a tumul tuous rush of blood through her veins, Ella sank back on her seat. It was a fearful revulsion of feeling to be thus suddenly torn from a state of dreamy reverie, and brought face to face with a great danger. The faint ing sensation was over directly, and, closing her eyes for a moment and murmuring a heart felt prayer, her natural conrage returned.— Ella had till then only seen dead wolves, the trophies of the chase, and once or twide one securely muzzled ou its way to some foreign menagerie ; but too many dreadful jwolf-stories are current round Norwegian hearths in the winter for her not to divine the greatness of the peril, and she tried to calculate their prob able distance from home, and the chances of escape. Frau Ingeborg next heard the howl, and asked the same terrified question as her daugh ter. " O God, my poor children !" was her only exclamation ; aud then she, too, was calm and still. Nearer, nearer is the howling—fas ter go the terrified horses ; their instinct has told them the danger. Ella gently disengages herself from the sleeping Olaf, and unbidden, get out the rifle and powder-flask, and in si lence looks to the loading. Andreas's eye falls on her ; he is even at that moment pleas ed to see the fruit of the training he has given his child in her pale, composed face and steady hand, like a brave Norse Maiden as she was. ller eyes a'e now strained to look back as far as she can. Ere long, ou the brow of a hill they have descended, she sees a black moving mass against the sky. " I see them, father, but they are far off yet." A groan escapes from Andreas. " God help ns then !" lie mutters. Wife aud daugh ter read his face, and from their hearts, too, goes up that agonized prayer. Ah ! well may they pray it. On come the pack, some lialf hu ou red gaunt., hungry their dismal howl freezing the life-blood of the Junsens.— The horses bound onwards with red nostrils and panting sides ; they go like the wind but the distance is steadily diminished. And the the howl of the wolves sounds like a mccking demon cry, " Ha, ha ! ye go fast, we faster ; ye are tew, we are many ; it is our turn now ; ye are the hunted, we the hunters. Ha, ha ! how like ye the change ?' " Would it not be possible," said Ella, " to take refuge in one of these chatlets ? Could we not barricade ourselves there ?" " It would be only quicker death ; the wolves would soon force the door ; there would lie no fastenings of sufficient strength to resist them." They looked above, around—neither help nor hope was to be seen ; the pitiless earth was wrapped in one vast winding sheet of snow, and the cold glancing lights in the sky revealed only too clearly their desperate con dition. A cold damp stands on the farmer's , brow ; still lie guides his horses with firm j hand, speaks encouragingly to them, and | though he, knowing the peril best has given; up hope first, he relaxes no effort. It was j hard, in the flush of manhood, the prime of j life, with the blood coursing through every j vein in strength and power, to have nothing to | do but die. As lie looks at his dear ones, he i thought, were these but safe, death would not j be so fearful ; and then the image of the plea-1 sant home at Ravensdol rose up before him, j and to leave all this-, to die and leave no name, j no heir behind him, it was hard ! Was it not a triumph of Christian faith that he, thus j circumstanced, could bow his head meekly and ! say, " Thy will lie done?" Daine Ingeborg! said nothing, bnt her tears fell fast over the ! nestliug Ruoul she was straining to her heart ; and as the child started at the noise, she hush ed hitn off to sleep as if he had been in his little bed at home, thankful that one at least of her darlings was spared the anguish of this valley of the shadow of death. And yet to her arose a ray of light, a gleam of happiness, aud she thought that she and all her dear oues would cross the river of death at the same time ; no widowhood, no orphanage, no idleness —the parting of a moment, and - then the eternal reunion in bliss. Olaf, roused by his sister's rising, had awoke, and seeing the wolves, had bnrst out into terrified crying ; but when Ella gently bade him pray to God aud try to be a brave boy, he caught the infection of her calmness. Swallowing his tears, he knelt on the seat, and hiding his face in the fur wraps, that he might not see the objects of his dread, he manfully tried to stifle his sobs, and repeated over and over again his simple prayer, " O Lord please drivp. away ithese dreadful wolves, and let us all get eafe homo." Of all, EHe woe the beppie;?*-, far one great comfort was hers, her best-beloved was safe, and as she thought, with a thrill of joy that seemed strange at such an iustaut, throngh an act of self-denial to which she hud urged him, and which God was blessing by his deliverance. The wolves were gaining fast; they could distinguish the fiery eyes, the red tongues hanging out. Ellu, as she saw one in advance, quite close to them, cried out, " Father, father ! the rifle." " Then take reins an instant," said he, as he took the weapon from her hand. Ella obeyed, the horses wanted little guidauce, aud the wolf fell dead beneath her father's sure aim. There was a step of the whole pack, and the Jatiseus almost dared to hope. An dreas's face was gloomy as before. " Only a check," murmured he ; " they are mud with ' hunger. The oue I hare killed will be devour ed, and then " His words were verified ; in Ave minutes' time they again heard the baying of the pack, and they were soon in sight, their appetite j whetted by the taste of blood, on, on, with I increased ardors for the chase. Agoin was one shot down—again occurred the temporary i lull, and afresh began that ghostly hunt. " There is but one charge more, lather," j said Ella. " We will save it as long as we can," was ' Andreas's reply. And his voice was hoarse and husky. * * * * * * j " Bv-the by, I heard some unpleasant news at the farm I was at yesterday They say a large pack of wolves has come down from the fields to the northward ; the early and severe winter this season is supposed to have driven them down. Some hunters out on a bear chase, a few days back, had a very narrow es- j cape ; they report the wolves as going to tbe ! south. " I hope not," said Hugo ; " they had 1 heard nothing about it at Ravensdal, no more ! had I, but then I came from the contrary di- I rectioo. I hope not, though I should like it above everything if we could muster a strong party and have a good hunt ; but wolves are fearful foes to meet unprepared." Undefined apprehensions he could not shake off filled the young man's inind, aud after try- ; to talk of other things he came back to the to the wolves, and to speculations as to their I position and movements. So time sped ou, ; | and he paced up and down with a growing uneasiness he in vain told himself was un- j i grounded and absurd, and he longed for the [ return of the sleigh to terminate these secret ' fears. Eric bad been listening intently for some minutes, and all at once exclaimed, " There, now, I hear a howl." Hugo threw himself on the snow to hear better, and ere long the same sound. " I fear—l fear it is so ;it is far off, but oh, in the same direction they have taken." After some moments of intense attention. ' both men satisfied that it was not the howl cf 1 a solitary wolf, and that it was steadily ad- ! vaneing. " Oh, tell me what can we do, I 'cried Hugo ; ! it is ou the track which leuds from the town, • just the time when they would be on the road i My poor Ella, what can I do ?" " Unarmed as we are, it is only by remain- ' ing here we can be of any service, and this is a position we can easily defend, With that i amount of firewood at our back, I would defy j an army of wolves. Look I the chalet stands in a recess cf rock ; from point to point we can make a rampart of fire." So saying, he to airauge fagots in a line from one point of a | rock to the other, leaving an open space in the centre. " I think with you, young man, that our friends are on their road, and that the wolves are pursuing thorn, else we should not j hear that continuous howling nearer and near- j er. lam leaving this space for the sledge to I pass ; the wolves would never dare to attempt ■ to follow through such a wall of flame as we ; can raise." " Hist ! I near the gallop of horse," said Hugo, kneeling on the snow. " Then set tire to our barrier ; it may be a beacon to them, and shew them where we are." This was soon done, and the bright pine wood flame was ere iong streaming into the sky Now," said Erie, " get more fagots ready, for you and I must be prepared to close up the passage immediately the sleigh is safe." " But the horses," said Hugo, "will they pass between two such fires as we have liere ?" " No fear ; they are terrified enough to leap over a precipice if it catne in their wav —anything, everything—to escape those that are after them." A few minutes passed in breathless suspense, during which the noise of horses aud wolves became louder and louder. "Ah ! there tliey are," cried Hugo, " and the whole pack close behind. They see us ; Andreas is flogging the horses. O God ! there is a great wolf close upon them—oh, I would give ten years of my life for a rifle for one instant. Andreas dares not leave the reins. Ella is standing up ; she has the rifle. Good Heavens ! the wolf will spring at her. No, she has fired—shot him down—my brave Ella, my own dear girl !" Another second and the sledge was in the haven of refuge provided by the forethought of the pedler, safe from the ruthless WOITOS be hind the barrier of flame.— Rentiers Jliseel lany. THE FORCE OF EMPHASIS, in giving meaning to a sentence, is well illustrated by the brief colloquy which wc overhenrd the other day, between two |>ersons : " Do you iuiagiue mc a. scoundrel, sir?" demanded one, indignantly "No, 1 do not imagine you to be one." THE BEAUTY OF WOMAN transcends all other form of beauty, as well in the sweetness of its suggestions, as in the delicious flavor it awak ens. Tbe beauty of a lovely woman is an in spiration ; a trwee* delirium ; a gentle mad ness Her look* ar lor? .potfacs. VOL. XVIII. —NO. 25. Kay In Lynohburg Va., there is a lad pro verbial for being a bad speller. The school that he attended has among its many roles I and regulations one that requires the scholars to spell a column iu the dictionary and "irive the meanings," just as the school open®. this lad was " foot " of his class. The next day the first word was admittance. This lad had been walking around sight seeing, wheu his CJPS fell upon a circus bill, which among other inducements to draw a crowd, had ! mittance twenty-five cents ; uiggers and cbild i ren half price." Our yoong friend spelt ths I word and learned it by heart xt day, strange to say, the head boy missed, and the next, and so on, until it cams ' to our particular friend, who was iu the raeau -1 time ail excitement with the hope of getting " head," being sanguine that be was right.—- Here's the result : Teacher—Boy at the foot, spell admittance, Boy—Ad-mit-tance, Admittance. Teacher—Give tho definition. Boy—Twcuty-flve cents ; niggers and chll | drea liaif price ! fiSF A Western pettifogger, while conduct ing a suit before a justice of the peace, seeing ! that his case was going against him, broke ; forth in the following indignant strain : " Go on with yer abuse, yer infernal bull j heads 1 s'pose likely you think you are go | ing to get this case. Well, mebby yer will ! get it ; iny client can't git no justice done him : afore this. But, sir, we're enough for ye, the hull on ye. Me and my client can't never be intimidated ner tyranized over ! mark that ! and, sir, just so sure as this court decides aginst us, we'll file a writ Of progander, sir, and—" Here he was interrupted by the opposite counsel, who wanted to know what he meaut by a writ of progauuer. , " Mean ? Why a writ of progander it's a —a —it's a—well, I don't just remember the exact words, but it's what'll knock thunder out of yer blasted one-horse courts." 86T An oid woman, during the last war was greatly concerned about the Indians, of whose cruelty she had heard alarming state ments. Meeting & soldier she demauded to know the news. " Why, madam," said he, " the Indiana hare fixed a crowbar under Lake Erie and are going to turn it over and drowu the worid !" " Oh, mercy ! what shall T do ?" And away she ran to tell her neighbors of the dan ger, and inquired of the Minister how such a calamity could be averted. " \\ by,"' said he, " yon need not be alarm ed, we have our Maker's promise that he would not again destroy the world by water." " I knew that," returned the old lady baa tily, " but he has nothing to do with it, it'a them pesky Injins." KIOHT or SITFIUUK. —The following is too good to be lost. It is often made a subject of complaiut that ministers of the gospel partici pate in political matters. Au anecdote of Mr. Field, who lived iu Yermout several years ago, contains a good reply. As the reverend gentleman Went one time to deposit his vote, the officer who received it being a friend and parishioner, but of opposite politics, remark ed : " I am sorrv Mr. Field to see you here." " Why !" asked Mr. Field. " llecuuse." said thejoffieer, "Christ said ilia kingdom was not of this world " " Has no one a right to vote," said Mr. Field, " unless he belongs to the kingdom of Satan." This at once let in a fay of light to the darkened chambers of the officer's crauium, which he never thought of before. tey A boy got his grandfather's gun and loaded it, but was afraid to fire ; he, however, liked fun of loading, and so lie put in another charge, but was still afraid to fire. lie kept oil charging, but without firing, until he got six charges in the old piece, llis grandmother Laming liis temerity, smartly reproved him, and grasped the old continental uud discharg ed it. The result was tremendous, throwing the old lady on her back ! She promptly struggled to regain her feet, but the boy cried out, •'lay still, granny—there are five mor*. eharges to go off yet I" H&r A few days since, one of our learned counsellors deemed it necessary to shake the testimony ot a Mr. Hntterwortli, by impugning his veracity. The witness being culled to the stand, the lawyer commenced— " Do you know Mr. 11 utter worth ?" " Yes " " What is Bulterworth ?" " Two and ten pence a pound, although I have paid as high as— " That will do sir. You can take yonr seat." IHy" In San Francisco, when n Chinaman is convicted of a crime, they cut off his tad be fore sending him to prison. To thus lose an appendage of which lie is so proud, is a great mortification to a Chinaman. A OROWJS-G A'OIT?;. —" IX ain't f growing | tall ?" '• Why, what'® yonr height, sonny ?" "Why, I'm seven foot, lacking a yard—- | Ain't that, smc, old boss ?" • 'j&r Bonaparte Resented Morean on on® l occasion with a magnificent pair of pistols, and paid him a striking compliment. " I intend cd." said he, " to-have the names of your vic tories engraved upon them, but there was uot r>oi far them." ©©• " You charge a dollar for killing a calf you smutty rascal," said planter to o oit i negro " So. DO, EBS ssa" rep Hid the gent> t re*® fiT.ro Africa. " ® fifty cents for kit |,lcnj e'f, snd f.fy frr tn® bw * rit"