(NE DOLLAR PER ANNUM, INVARIABLY IN ADVANCE.
TOWAJSTDA. :
(Elptrshflt} morning, ftlan 28, 1837.
Jstltdtb Ipottrn.
ROBIN'S COME.
BY WM. COLDWELL.
From the din-tree's topmost bough,
Hark ! the robiu's early song,
Telling, one and all, that now
Merry spring-time hastes along ;
Welcome tidings thou dost bring.
Litttle harbinger of spring !
Robin's come.
Of the winter we are weary.
Weary of its frost and snow.
Longing for the sunshine cheery,
And the brooklet's gurgling flow ;
Gladly when we hear thee sing
The reveille of the spring!
Robin's come.
Ring it out o'er hill and plain,
Through the garden's lonely bowers,
Till the green leaves dance again.
Till the air is sweet with flowers ;
Wake the cowslip by the rill,
Wake the yellow daffodil,
Robiu's come.
Then, as thou wert wont of yore,
Build thy nest and rear thy young,
Close beside our cottage door,
lu the woodbine leaves among ;
Hurt or harm thou necdst not fear ;
Nothing rude shall venture ueur,
Robin's come.
Swinging still o'er yonder lane,
Robin answers merrily,
Ravished by the sweet refrain,
ALICE claps her hands iu glee ;
Shouting from the open door,
With her clear voice o'er aud o'er,
"Robin'scome!"
HI is r 1 11 ;nt ton s.
BENEDICT ARNOLD'S TREASON.
A REMINISCENCE OF GEN. WASHINGTON.
In collection of a portion of the private let
ters and correspondence of Washington recent
lv published under the editorship of Mr. Rich
ard Rush, we have found the subjoined very
interesting opinion of Washington upon Ar
nold's treason. It was spoken by the General
during an after-dinner conversation, at the resi
dence of Col. Tobias Lear, while at Mount Ver
non, who recorded it in his diary, and from
which Mr. Rush obtained it. Gen. Washing
ton remarked :
I confess I had a good opinion of Arnold be
fore bis treachery was brought to light ; had
that not been the case, 1 should have some
reason to suspect him sooner, for when he com
manded iu Philadelphia, the Marquis Layfette
brought accounts from France of the armament
which was to be scut to co-operate with us iu
the ensuing campaign. Soon after this was
known, Arnold pretended to have some private
business to transact in Connecticut, and on bis
way there called at my quurters ; and in the
course of conversation expressed a desire of quit
ting Philadelphia and joining the army the en
suing campaign. I told him that it was prob
able we should have a very active one, and
that if his wound and state of health would
permit, 1 should be extremely glad of his ser
vices with the army. He replied that he did
not think his wound would permit him to take
a very active part ; but still he persisted in his
desire of being with the army. He went on to
Connecticut, and on his return called again
upon me. lie renewed his request of being
with ine the next campaign, and I made him
the same answer I had done before. He again
repeated that he did not think his wound would
permit him to do active duty, and intimated a
desire to have the command at West Point.—
1 told him I did not think that would suit him,
as 1 should leave none in the garrison but in
valids, because it would be entirely covered by
the main army. The subject was dropped at
'hat thne, and he returned to Philadelphia. It
then appeared somewhat strange to uie that a
man of Arnold's known activity and enterprise
should be desirous of taking so inactive part.—
I. however, thought no more of the matter.—
When the French troops arrived at Rhode
Island I had intelligence from New York that
General Clinton intended to make an attack
upon them before they could get themselves
settled and fortified. In consequence of that,
1 was determined to attack New York, which
would lie left much exposed by bis drawing off
the British troops ; and accordingly formed
my line of battle, and moved down with the
whole army to King's ferry, which we passed.
Arnold came to camp at that time,and having
no command, and consequently no quarters (all
the houses thereabouts being occupied by the
armv,) he was obliged to seek lodgings at some
distance from the camp. While the army was
crossing at King's ferry, I was going to see
the la-d detachment over and met Arnold,
*ho asked me if I had thought of anything
for him. I told him that he was to have com
mand of the light troops, which was a post of
honor, and which his rank indeed entitled him
to. Upon this information his countenauce
changed, and he ap]>eared to be quite fallen ;
ami instead of thanking mo, or expressing any
pleasure at the appoiutiuent, never opened his
mouth. I desired him to go on to my quar
ters and get something to refresh himself, and
i would meet him there scon. lie did so.—
Fpon his arrival there, he found Tilghman,
whom he took a-one-side, and mentioning what
I had told him, seemed to express great uneasi
ness at it—as his leg he said, would not per
mit him to be long on horseback ; and intimat
ed a great desire" to have the command at
West Point. When I returned to my quarters,
Col. Tilghman informed me of what had pass
ed- I made no reply to it —but his behavior
rirnck me as strange and unaccountable. In
ihe course of that night, however, I received
I information from New York that Gen. Clinton
THE BRADFORD REPORTER.
had altered his plan and was debarking his
troops. This information obliged me likewise
to alter my disposition and return to my for
mer station, where I could better cover the
country. I then determined to comply with
Arnold's desire, and accordingly crave him the
command of the garrison at West Point.—
Things remained in this situation about a fort
night, when I wrote to the Count Rochambeau
desiring to meet liirn at some intermediate place
(as we could neither of us be long enough
from our respective commands to visit each
other,) in order to lay the plan for the seige
of \orktown, and proposed Hartford, where I
accordingly went and met the Count. On
my returu I met the Chevalier Luzerne to
wards evening within about 15 miles of West
Point (to join the Count at Rhode Island,)
which I intended to reach that night, but he
insisted upon turning back with me to the
next public house ; where, in politeness to him,
I could not but stay all night, determining,
however, to get to West Point to breakfast
very early. I sent off my baggage, and desir
ed Col. Hamilton to go forward and inform
General Arnold that I would breakfast with
him. Soon after he arrived at Arnold's quar
ters, a letter was delivered to Arnold which
threw him into greatest confusion. He told
Colonel Hamilton that something required his
immediate attendance at the garrison, which
was on the opposite side of the river to his
quarters, and immediately ordered a horse to
take him to the river, and the barge, which he
kept to cross, to be ready, aud desired Major
Franks, his Aid, to inform me when I should
i arrive that he was gone over the river and
I would return immediately. When I got to ■
! his quurters and did not find him there, I Je- j
j sired Major Franks to order some breakfast ;
and as I intended to visit the fortifications, I i
would see general Arnold there. After I had ,
breakfasted I went over the river, and inquir
ing for Arnold, the commanding officer told
me that he had not been there. I likewise in
quired at the several redoubts, but no one
could give me any information where he was.
The impropriety of his conduct when he knew
I was to be there struck me forcibly, and my
tniud misgave me ; but I bad not the least idea
of the real cause. When I returned to Ar
nold's quarters, two hours after and told Col.
Hamilton that I had not seen him, he gave me
a packet which had just arrived for me from
Colonel Jemmison, which immediately brought
the matter to light. I ordered Colonel Ham
ilton to mount his horse and proceed with the
greatest dispatch to a post on the river about
eight miles below, in order to stop the barge
if she had not passed ; but it was too late. It
seems that the letter which Arnold received
which threw him in such confusion, was from j
Col. Jemmison, informing him that Andre
was taken, aud that the papers found on him
were in his possession. Col. Jemmison, when
Andre was taken with these papers, could not
believe that Arnold was a traitor, but rather .
thought it was an imposition of the British, in ;
order to destroy our confidence in Arnold.—
e, however, immediately on their being taken,
dispatched an express after me, ordering him
to ride uight and day till he came up with me.
The express went the lower road by which i
had gone to Connectitut, expecting that 1
would return by the same route, and that he
would meet me ; but before he had proceeded
far he was informed that 1 was returning by
the upper road. He then cut across the coun
try and followed in my track till 1 arrived at .
West Point. He arrived about two hours af- .
ter and brought the above packet. When
Arnold got down to the barge he ordered his j
men. who were very clever fellows, and some
of the better sort of soldiery, to proceed im- '
mediately on board of the Vulture sloop-of
war, as a Hag, which was lying down the river,
saying that they must return in a a short time
to meet me, and promised them two gallons of i
rum if they would exert themselves. They did
accordingly ; but wbeu they got on board the ;
Vulture, instead of their two gallons of rum, !
he ordered the coaxswaiu to be called down j
into the cabin, and informed him that he and ;
men must consider themselves as prisoners.— I
The coxswain was very much astonished, and 1
told him that they came on board under the ;
sanction of a Hag. Ho answered that that .
was nothing to the purpose —they were prison- j
ers. But the captain of the Vulture had more j
generosity than this pitiful scoundrel, and told j
the coxswain that he would take his parole for i
goiug on shore to get clothes, and what ever j
else was wanted for himself and his compan-1
ions. He accordingly came, got his clothes, ;
and returned on board. When the got to '
New York, General Clinton, ashamed of so !
low anil wean an action, set them all at liber- !
*y- _
DOING GOOD TO OTHERS. —Here is a pretty
storv of a little girl. Perhaps you have read
it before, but it will do you good to read it
again :
"A mother who was in the habit of asking
what they had done during the day to make
others happy, found a young twin-daughter
silent. The elder one spake modestly of deeds
and dispositions founded on the golden rule.—
"Do unto others as you would that they should
do unto you." Still the little bright face was
bowed down in silence. The question was re
peated, and the dear little girl said timidly :
"A little girl sat by me on the bench at school
had lost a little baby brother. All the time
she studied her lesson she hid her face in her
book and cried. I felt so sorry that I laid
my face on the same book, aud cried with her.
Then she looked up and put her arms around
my neck, but I do not know why she said I
had dooe her so much good."
" What do you know of the defend
ant, Mr. Thomjson ? do you consider him a
good musician ?" "On that point I wish to
swear with great care. I don't wish to insin
uate that Mr. Van Slops is not a good musi
cian. Not at all. All I I wish to say is this :
The day after he commenced playing the clar
inet, a saw-filer, who lived next door, left home
and has never since been beard from." "That
will do, Mr Thompson. Call the next wit
ness.
PUBLISHED EVERY THURSDAY AT TOWANDA, BRADFORD COUNTY, PA., BY E. O'MEARA GOODRICH.
" RE&ARDLESS OF DENUNCIATION FROM ANY QUARTER."
Burglars in the Partington Mansion.
The conversation turned upon various bur
glaries that had been committed in the town,
and Mrs. Partington gave it as her opinion
that any one who would burglariously break
into a house would be mean enough to steal,
particularly if he took anything. This opinion
was given without any hesitation aud the lis
teners admitted that they thought so too.—
The old dame was standing with her snuff box
in her left hand aud her right fore linger rais
ed, preparatory to making some new remark,
when a door was heard to slam violently in
the attic. " What can that be ?" said one
listening attentively with eyes and ears wide
open. "It must be the cat," replied Mrs.
Partington calmly. "I am not infected with
fear of bunglers. Blessed is he that lias noth
ing, for it can't be taken away from him."—
A noise of a stealthy step on the attic stairs
j was heard a moment after. " What's that ?"
| was asked by one of the most timid. " Don't
; be decomposed," said Mrs. Partington, "it
| may be a breath of air, but we will go and
! see what it is." She was always very reso
lute, and never heard a sound in the house
j that she did not ascertain at once what caus
!ed it. The daiue aud her guests opened the
door, and proceeded to the attic, but there
j was no evidence of disarrangement there ; they
1 then proceeded through all the rooms to the
| cellar, with the same result. They stopped a
i moment to listen, when they heard the door of
of a closet in the room above gently closed.—
! There were numerous garments hung in this
j closet, and among the rest the black bornba
j zine dress that had mourned for forty years
i the loss of Paul. Cautiously moving towards
the spot, they opened the door. Everything
hung iu its position. There were the dress
and sundry flannel garments that we forgot
the name of, and Ike's Sunday jacket, and lots
of other things. They were just about turn
ing their attention to a search in other quar
ters, when the timid one cried out, " There is
the bugler !*' And sure enough there from
beneath the bombazine dress protruded a pair
of legs encased iu blue woollen stockings and
terminating with a pair of thick brogans.—-
" Who are you, aud what do vou want ?"said
Mrs. P artington in a tone denot'ng great
strength of mind and some lungs. There was
no answer to the question, though a spasmodic
movement iu one of the blue stockings denot
ed consciousness. " What do you want here !"
she repeated, a little tremulously, as if she
were slightly " infected "do you come here
to rob us in our beds and murder our proprie
ty ?" She probably meant " murder us in our
beds and rob us of our property," but she evi
dently was confused. The blue yarn stockings
still maintained their position. "If you don't
come out I'll call in a policeman and have yon
shut uji in solitary confinement." The stock
ings moved, and now a chink opened among
the pendant garments, through which protrud
ed a face glowing with mirth and mischief,
and a laugh rich end unctuous with boyish
glee broke the silence. " Why, Isaac !'* said
the good dame, " how conld you do so ? I
have a great mind to punish you severally for
your naughty conduct." But Ike aud the
blue stockings passed out of the door, aud au
ger passed from the memory of Mrs Parting
ton. But Miss Prow, who had gone past the
period when chance for matrimony had become
a sort of dead reckoning, said to Mrs. Spry,
another of the party, that if that boy was
her'n she guessed he'd have to take something.
THE WATERS OF THE NILE. —The Nile water
is particularly soft. It fills the mouth with a
rich, creamy taste ; and in drinking it, in or
der to enjoy it, it is well to spread it over eve
ry part of the palate. It should be drank,
uot to quench thirst, but to create high plea
sure. It should not, therefore, be swallowed
in large draughts at a time, but taken at short
iutervals, every other hour or so. In the
house the water-jar —the admirable Egyptian
water-jar, which is so much more porous than
the Indian jar—should be at hand by day and
by night continually. The passion for Nile
water, like the love of everything that is in
tensely exquisite iu its way, increases with its
eujoyineut. No one who has once or twice
tasted Nile water, and has a capacity for pica
sure, will ever after consent to drink of it poi
soned with the infusion of any other liquid.—
Jealous of its own honor, it appears to be the
most averse of all waters to join in harnionv
with wine. Indeed, mixed with wine it is a
most nauseous compound. In the hotels, the
water undergoes filtration. In the cottages
through the country, it is kept in large ves
sels, which allow the sediment to fall to the
bottom. The small clay jars, in which it is
placed before you in the hotels, are very grace
ful in form, and finely adapted to keep the li
quid cool.— Brace's Scenes and Sights in the.
East.
LOVE. —A comman complaint of the heart,
growing out of an ordinary longing after some
thing difficult to obtain. It attacks persons of
both sexes, generally between the ages of fif
teen and forty ; some have been knowu to have
it at fifty.
Symptoms —Absence of mind ; calling tears
nectar, and sighs zephyrs, a fondness for poe
try and, music, gazing on the moon and stars,
loss of appetite, neglect of business, a loathing
for all things save one, blood.shot eyes, and a
constant desire to sigh.
Effects —A strong heart burn, pulse high,
stupidity, eloquent eyes, sleeplessness, and ad
sorts of things. At "times imagination bright
—bowers of roses —wiuged Cupids—aud but
tered peas ; and then again grim ocean's des
pair, racks, torments and pistols.
Cure —Get married immediately.
A witty lawyer jocosely asked a board
ing house keeper in the Recorder's Court the
following question :
" Mr. Smith, if a man was to give you a
hundred dollars to keep for him, and he dies
what would you do ? Would you pray for
him ?"
"No sir : I woaid pray for another like
him ?"
GOING WEST !—Yes, of course, everybody is
going West ! We look at no newspaper now
adays, but the columns are overrun with ac
counts of this migration. We clipped from
the Cincinnati Gazette, of Tuesday, a notice of
the numbers going West through and from
that city, but we have mislaid it. The account
was, however, startling. One county in Ohio,
Belmont, we think actually shows the depopu
lation. We could add similar items in refer
ence to this State. A steamer left our land
ing yesterday, with a large company of leading
active men of the first respectabiitv, from one
county, (Perry,) in this State. They repre
sent a large sum of money which is to be drawn
from circulation here, and invested in Nebras
ka, somewhere about Omaha. We were told
by a manufacturer iu Massillon, a short time
since, that he had found it necessary to doub
le the wages paid, in order to keep anybody
to do bis labor. With difficulty he suc
ceeded even then. They will go West. So it
goes.
Now, in what we have to say, we shall be
deemed a sort of Cassandra, a prophet of evil,
uo doubt: but we think we see tokens of a
grand smash approaching in the speculation
new raging in the West. If these people were
going out upon new lands to till them, to raise
crops and add to the substantial value of the
national wealth, it would be a far different case
from the present : Everybody is raking to
gether their cash, more or less to speculate
with. Everybody is crazy. We read in the
money article of the St. Paul Times about a
week since, that raony Bad commanded as
high as 12 per cent., a month in that place, and
in one instance which had fatten under the notice,
of the editor 15 per cent ! How long can such
a state of things continue ?
Yon will hear every body saying now, that
they have no doubt about a final explosion,
but "after me—l will get ready for it aud
leave my successors to stand from under."—
Men doing a sound and healthy business in this
city and in the East, are already scenting the
breeze ; we know of some who refuse to fill or
ders for houses in the West, which have em
barked all the money they can spare in lots cities
and towns, and we refer to wait a little and
sell to sane men, rather than risk their
property in the hands of men paying cent
per cent, aud more even for money to speculate I
upon.
Going West. Well that is all right, but go
young man and know that you are a son of
Adam and you must pay the penalty—you
must work. There can be no shirking.—Fitts
burg Gazette.
MONEY AND MIND. —Of five hundred and
fifty-one lunatics in Great Britain, there are
five hundred and five whose aggregate annual
income is near twelve hundred thousand dol
lars each.
In connection with this fact we may state
that of a given number of lunatics in Massa
chusetts, three-fourths were of parents, one or
both of whom drank liquor largely. Extremes
meet. The rich, who revel in luxury and ease,
and the poor, who riot in rum, furnish the
children for the mad-house ; thus giving us the
strongest reason to infer, that if our race is
perpetuated in physical vigor and mental po
wer, it must be done, in the parents, by the
practice of temperance and industry : temper
ance in the indulgence of all the appetites of
our nature, and industry in the prosecution of
our callings, whatever those callings may be
—giving the preference alwajs to out-door
activities. No man was made to be a loafer ;
no man was made to be a beast. And lie who
violates nature in either case, is working out
for himself or his children, if uot for both, a
certain and miserable end.
CATCHING SUCKERS. —Some time ago there
lived in Vermont a queer ohl man named Mil
ler. He had lost part of his palate aud was a
rare specimen. He owned a mill, the water
of which was brought for some distance through
a wooden flume. One morning an apprentice
informed him that the flume was full of suckers.
Miller posted himself at its mouth, placing a
larire basket to catch the suckers in, while the
boy went to the other end to hoist the gate—
There was a rush of many waters, carrying
Miller, basket, and all over the overshot
wheel, fnil thirty feet below. All dripping,
he scrambled out, sputtering,—" You may
think I'm an idiot, but I ain't such a d d
fool tlmt I can't see through that joke ?"
A JUDICIAL WAG. —They have a Judge in the
Blue Ilidgc circuit, Georgia, named Brown,
who not only administers justice in a dignified
and impartial manner, but is likewise a bit of
a wag in his way, as witness the following
manner in which he " done brown juror;
While hearing a case, recently, the attor
ney stated, iu his plea, that he believed one of
the jurors was intoxicated. The Judge, ad
dressing the man alluded to, said, " Sir, are
you drunk''." The juror, straightening himself
up, in a bold, half defient tone, said, " .Yu sir
ce bob " Well," said the Judge, " I fine
you five dollars for the " ree\ and ten for the
" bob !" The juror " wilted."
YOUTHFUL PRECOCITY. —The following inci
dent, coming direct from one of the dramatis
persona may be relied upou as as a fact.
The Rev, Mr. W , ft Clergyman of a neigh
boring town, being recently absent from home
on business, his little son, a lad of four years,
calmly folding his hands and asked the bless
ing usually pronounced by bis father at their
morning meal. At noon, being asked to pro
nounce the blessing, he replied, with a grave
face. " No, I don't like the looks of them
taters."
S3f Through some mistako a gentleman in
the south of Ireland, led off a dance, at a
country ball, out of bis turn. The persou ap
pointed to the post of honor challenged the
intruder, and receive the following reply :
" Sir I cannot understand why, because I
open a ball at night, a ball should open me
in the morning.''
A VAPOR BATH IN FINLAND. —Bayard Tay
lor, iu his travels in the North, gives the fol
lowing description of a vapor bath in Finland:
Mr. Wolley proposed to us another luxury,
iu the shape of u vapor-bath, as Ilerr FoV
strom had one of those bathing houses which
are universal in Finland. It was a little wood
eu building without windows. A Finnish ser
vant girl, who had been for some time engag
ed in getting it iu reaoiness, opened the door
for us. The interior was very hot and moist,
like an Oriental bathing hail. In the centre
was a pile of hot stones, covered with birch
boughs, the leaves of which gave out an agree
able smell, and a large tub of water. The
floor was strewn with straw, and under the
roof was a platform extending across one end
of the building. This was covered with soft
hay, aud reached by means of a ladder, for
the purpose of getting the full effect of the
steam. Some stools and u bench lur our
clothes completed the arrangements. There
was also iu one corner a pitcher of water,
standing in a little heap of suow, to keep it
cool.
The servant girl came* in after us, and Mr.
W. quietly proceeded to undress, informing us
that the girl was bathing-master, and would
do the usual scrubbing and shampooniug.—
This, it seems, is the general practice in Fin
land, and is but another example of the unem
barrassed habits of the people in this part of
the world. The poorer families go into their
bathing-rooms together—father, mother, and
children—and tuke turns in polishing each
other's backs. It would have been ridiculous
to have shown any hesitation under the cir
cumstances—iu fact, an indignity to the hon
est, simple hearted, virtuous girl—and so we
deliberately undressed also. When at iast we
stood, like our first parents in Paradise, " na
ked and uot ashamed," she handed us bunches
of birch twigs with the leaves on, the use of
which was suggested by the leaf of scripture.
We mounted on the platform and lay dowu
upon our backs, whereupon she increased the
temperature by throwing water upon the hot
stones, until the heat was rather oppressive,
and we begau to sweat profusely. She took
up a bunch of birch twigs which had been
dipped in hot water, aud switched us smartly i
from head to foot.
When we had become thoroughly par-boil
ed and lax, we descended to the floor, seated
ourselves upon the stools, aud were scrubbed
with soap as thoroughly us propriety permit
ted. The girl was an admirable bather, the
result of long practice iu the business. She
finished by pouring hot water over ns, and
then drying us with warm towels. The Finns
frequently go out and roll in the suow during
the process of the bath. I ventured so far as
to go out aud stand a few seconds iu the open
air. The mercury was at zero, aud the effect
of the cold on mv heated skin was delightful
ly refreshing.
GEN. HOUSTON'S PRESCRIPTION TO A " BORE."
—Among the guests at the St. Nicholas llu
tel, New York, recently, was General Sam.
Houston, of Texas. Gen. Houston is, as all
his acquaintances well know, fond of mirth aud
fun, and iu short is what Doestieks would cull
a P. 8.. perfect brick.
The General, however, entertains an intense
hatred for that species of human beings call
ed " bores." One of these gentry, a good na
tured but soft headed chap, a regular button
holder, cornered him at his hotel. He hud
managed to be introduced to him by a gentle
man the day previous.
" General," said the bore, after he had both
ered Mr. Houston out of all patience, " 1 wish
you could do me one favor. A man of your
eminence is so competent."
" Well, what is it ?" inquired Mr. Houston,
rather curtly.
" Well, you see, Mr. Houston, you are such
an eminent man, such a—"
" Never mind that, what do you want to
know ?"
" Excuse me, but a person of your abilities
and distinction must be aware "
" I am somewhat in haste," interrupted the
badgered Senator ; " pray come to the point
at once."
" Well then, give me the secret of your suc
cess iu life—how you rose in position as you
have done."
" Oh ! but that wouldn't benefit you any
I can tell you how you can rise in the world
if you wish "
" That's just it," was the reply ; " just what
I was trying to get at."
" Well, sir, I'll tell you. Undertake to ap
proach a sore-headed bull with a red scarf on
your neck. I'll guarantee your upward pro
gress immediately on the completion of the ex
periment."
The button-holder collapsed, shoved his hat
on his head, and walked sorrowfully away,
while a cluster of gentlemen near by, who had
overheard the conversation, fairly screamed
with laughter.
A KNOCK-DOWN ARGUMENT.—A boy was
caught iu the act of stealing dried berries in
front of a store the other day, and was locked
up in a dark closet by the grocer. He com
menced begging most pathetically to be re
leased, aud, after using all the peusuasion that
his young imagination conld invent, propo
sed, " Now, if you'll let me out and send for
my daddy, he'll pay you for the berries and
lick me besides ?" The appeal was too much
for the grocery man to stand out against.
jgrA woman in Ohio, put her baby into
the washing tub, aud its dirty frock and pet
ticoat into the cradle aud set her little boy
to rock it. She did not discover her mistake
until the baby cried, when she pinned its left
leg to the line, as she bung it ont in the
yard to dry.
frgg- An Irish lieutenant stationed abroad,
being informed by letter that his widowed
mother had married a second time expressed
his alarm about his right of primogeniture, by
hoping that " the wouldn't have a <on older
than hiuiiclt.
VOL. XVII. —NO. 53.
THE IIARDSHELL BEDFELLOW. —Sam Jenkins,
in Lis young 1 days, played so many jokes upon
Lis venerable daddy that the old gentleman at
last got wrathv and Sam had to leave, which
accounts for our finding him out West. 110
was a great lurk and full of fun. After resid
ing in the woods for sereral years Lt got the
idea in his head that he would like the taste
; of the glorious lobster such as he used to get
at his father's, so he sent by express and im
ported s< rnc of the real articles which arrived
I safe " alive and kicking."
Sam had in his employ an Irishman and
! his wife who had left the old country when
they were children and who had grown up in
the western forest as green and as fresh as the
leaves which shaded their shanty. Sam. fully
aware that they had a perfect horror of any
-1 thing of a creeping kind, resolved to play a
trick upon the verdant pair. Accordingly se
letting one of the liveliest lobsters, he obtain
ed an entrance to their slmnty, and deliberate
ly pulling down the covering "of the bed, stow
ed away the lobster ; and with a smile of sat
i isfaction made tracks, and selecting a good
sitting position outside the shanty where he
could hear every word spoken in the bedroom.
The evening had far advanced, and Sam's
eyes twinkled as he heard Bridget and Pat
rick preparing for bed. Very soon the light
i went, and Sain, after strangling a noisy bull
: frog prepared to listen.
" Ah," said Patrick, " I dreamed last night
my darlint, that we were in ould Ireland. But
; what makes your feet so cowld, rny houcy ?"
said he abruptly, something cold touching his
' legs.
i l C* •
' bare, its your own feet that are cowld, so
they are," replied Bridget testily.
" \\ ouid ye be after telling me that it's my
own feet that are cowld ?" said Pat deprecat
inglv, " don't I feel your cowld feet on mv
warm legs
" Troth and it's me that feels the like too,"
said Bridget, " and sure, your toe nails are af
ther making me uneasy now ! But it bites !
Ah ! all ! Och honey ! sure it has me by the
leg! Let go ! Bloody murthers but its a
ghost ! Let go with yez ?"
Here Pat and Bridget dove out of bed cry
ing " bloody inurther and Sam, choking
with laughter, rushed into the room with a
light to find l'at and his lady on a table, one
armed with a shovel and the other a pair of
tongs.
" Oh, boss !" cried Pat, " sure the devil is
in the bed, aud he has claws like a needle, so
he has ! and will you look at the blood ou my
legs ? Oil, murther ! and its an ugly mouth
that he Ims ! The blessed Virgin preserve ye
boss, but don't go near it."
" Shut up," roared Sam ; " what the devil
are you making so much fuss about ?" and pol
ling down the bed clothes, the lobster was re
vealed to the astonishment of Put and his bet
ter half. The undaunted Sam picked it up,
and finally succeeded in calming their fears.
" Sure," said Bridget, " isn't it an uncom
mon big spitlier ?"
" Spitlier !" replied Pat ; " divil a spider ia
it ; sure it's the biggest of all bedbugs so it
is !"
A LF.AK TO UE MENDED. —A friend return
ing from the depot, a few mornings since, with
a bottle of freshlyiiuportcd "Maine Law," saw
a young lady, whom he must inevitably join.
So putting the bottle under bis arm, he walked
along-side.
" Well," said the young lady, after dispos
ing of "health" and the weather," "what is
that bundle you are carrying so mysteriously
under your arm ?" (from which she discovered
a dark fluid dripping.)
"Oh ! nothing but a coat which the tailor
has been mending for me."
"Oh ! its a coat, is it ? Well, you'd better
carry it back, and get him to sew up one more
hole, it leaks
As ACCOMMODATING SI-HUT. —In a certain
New England parish, a difficulty arose about
the location of the new meeting house,and the
church was rent with the division. The
pastor at length preached a melting sermon
off the subject of union and the congregation
were dissolved in tears. The next morning
Deacon Jones wont over early to see his oppo
nent, Deacon Shaw, to make an earnest effort
for peace, and the following ensued :
Deacon J. —" Deacon Shaw, 1 hav'nt slept
a wink all night—and I've come over to see
if we can't have peace on this subject of the
meeting house ; we must settle the difficul
ty."
Deacon S. —" M ell, lam very happy to
hear you talk so, for to tell the truth, 1 ulwuys
thought you were a little set iu your way."
Deacon J. —" Not at all—and as a proof
that I aiu not, I've come this morniug on pur
pose to see you, Now, Deacou Shaw, we
must settle this unhappy difficulty, and there
is but one way to do it—vou must give up for
I cau't."
At n Sunday-school examination the
the teacher asked a boy after he "had been
| standing and repeating, whether he could for
i give those who had wronged him ? " Could
j you," said the teacher " forgive a boy for ex
; ample, who had insulted or struck vou ?"
I " V-c-e-s, sir I—think I—could, if he teas big
| ger than /."
i'
The man who is to poor to take a pa
per has bought a slabsided dog, an old shot
gun, and a twenty shilling gold watch. Ho
educates his children in the streets, and his
shanghais hoard on his neighbors.
Pwp- Never break your neck to bow at all
to a "sweet sixteen," with a flounced dress,
who is ashamed of her old fashicned mother ;
or to a strutting collegiate who is horrifiodat
his grandmother's bad grammer.
A carpenter's apprentice, too lazy to
work, dodges it iu this fashion : when he takes
a notion he bumps his noso against a post till
it bleed?, and then sits down to hare a resting
*.prll.
M