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One ear 160 W'fkkly Dispatch, One Year. 1 SI The Daily Dispatch Is delivered by carriers at 3! cents per wetk. or. including Sunday Edition, at H cents per week. REMITTANCES SHOULD ONLT BF.MADF. BY CHECK. MONEY OliDEtf. OB BEGISTEBED LETTER. rosTAGE-Sunday lsne and all triple number copies, Ic: single anddouble number copies, lc. Tduntary contributors should keep copies of articles. If compensation is desired the price expected must be named. The courtesy of re turning rejected manuscripts xntl be extended uhen stamps for that purpose are enclosed, but the Editor of The Dispatch toll under no cir cumstances be responsible for the care of unsolic ited manuscripts. Tills Issue or THE DISPATCH contain! 20 pages made up or THREE FABTS. "Tallnre on the part or Carriers, Agents, "Newsdealers or Newsboys to supply patrons with a Complete Xumber,shoald be prompt Jj reported to this office. ' PITTJ-BOKG. SUNDAY. OCT. 30. 18M. , TWENTY PAGEST FKOTECTIOX VERSUS WHAT? "No new arguments are available now on the issue before the people in the Presl- dental election. All else having failed it, the Democratic party is at last reduced by a process of exhaustion to the sheer neces sity of basins; its appeal to the nation on nothing more logical than the personality of ex-President Cleveland. The free trade Eliminations launched forth at Chicago have died away in the solitude of neglect and fear into indefinite murmurs and un definable echoes of an abstract something named "tariff reform." Irrefutable evidence has been produced that in place of the calamity foretold by Democrats for the latest legislate e em bodiment of Protective principles, pros perity has already resulted therefrom, and by analagous reasoning there can be no legitimate doubt that under a continuance of that policy the prosperity will increase. Factories have multiplied, productions have been diversified, wages in general have been raised and the cost of living lias not been increased, the home market has been secured from foreign competition and the foreign market has been en larged. 2o silver-tongued orators, no pyrotech mcal publicists and no book-learned col lege professors have been ab'e to damage this array of facts or establish conflicting evidence. The Democratic nominee, in comrcorrwith several of his most brilliant pporters, has forsaken the national con vention of his party which called in un mistakable language for free trade. He lias substituted for that demand a plea lor tariff reform which in the utter ab sence of any intelligently expressed or in telligibly defined schedule can at Its best mean no more than tariff-tinkering, with a consequent unsettlement of the business of the country. It is upon this summing up that the business intelligence and common sense of the country must return their verdict The Dispatch has every confidence that the voters of these United States will indorse and demand the continuance of a policy whose benefits have been experienced, and doom to defeat an estimable gentle man with a programme, the very indefin iteness of which while it is its least dan gerwould be enough in itself to involve the country in an uncertainty that is the precursor of commercial instability and fill the evils which that entails. BRAG AND BLUSTER. The last few days of a close political canvass usually bring out some bluff and bluster. It is not surprising that Gover nor Campbell, Colonel JlcClure, Chair man Harnty, and other Democratic lights, are making noisy claims in the hope of influencing the wavering vote. Bat the peoph are used to that sort of campaign ing. There will be few among tliem so weak and credulous as to bs influenced against their convictions by clap-trap prophecies of interested partisans. It -is a good sign for the Republicans that so far they have been prophesying less in the market-places than their opponents. Usually Republicans work hardest when not too confident. If the workingmen, merchants and manufact urers, whose wages, business and profits depend largely upon the tariff, goto the polls and vote according to their interests, the friends of protection need have no fear of the result It is this silent vote that will count not the ante-election hur rah. The effect of pre-election boasting by tbe Democrats will undoubtedly be to stir the Republicans In every doubtful State to the greatest possible effort It will bring out the full Republican vote. THE PURPOSE OF PROFIT-SHARING. The'article in The Dispatch this morn ing from a member of a publishing firm, who has made a year's experiment in profit-sharing with his employes, sets forth the great object to be attained by that plan. It is to make the interest of the employes of an establishment in its pros perity more direct and evident than it is under the wages system. Of course, in a certain sense the interest of employes under the wages system is bound up with than of employers. They are concerned Jnst like the -seller of ma terial or the business man whose trade lies with the industries in question, and no more. Such a relation does not comprise the identity of interest which Is needed to make employes go hand in hand for the common purpose of Increasing the pros perity of the concern. When employes know that every effort of theirs to improve the quality of the work or to increase the results to be ob tained from their labor will return as fixed and specified increase of their wages, the incentive 'to faithful and intelligent work will be immensely increased. The great drawback of the present system is that this incentive is always indirecrf gen erally remote and somett. t . s ,i Ic ing. The article pobli j t ' n tains evidence that empl' - h d- mitted to the profit-sharing plan, appre ciate th change and fully recognize tbe inference that it binds them to the most earnest and loyal efforts to Increase the common prosperity. Of course there are many questions of de tail, such as tbe basis on which the distri bution shall bo made, whether employes should share losses as well as gains, and so on, which must be settled by experi ence. But let the main purpose.of profit sharing be adopted, and the details will certainly be worked in due time. DESTRUCTION BT. FIRE. The high winds and colder temperatures following the dry period, have started the season or fires. Yesterday's dispatches report the wiping out of the little town of Callery Junction, and the burning of the Euciid Avenue Opera House, as pendants to the central conflagration at Milwaukee. The Milwaukee fire does not attain the univeisal destructiveness of the Chicago fire of twenty years ago, nor even the great proportions of the Boston fire. But a conflagration which costs four lives, wipes out the structures from thirteen squares, destroys tliree hundred buildings, makes) 3,000 people homeless, and Inflicts a total loss of 56,000,000 to 58,000,000 is a grievous calamity to the city where it occurs and a heavy blow to tbe insurance companies. Tho conditions which favor such fires are clear enough. A. long dry period has made woodwork like tinder. The cold wae causes the lighting of fires' in disused places, and perhaps without seeing that they are safe. Tbe scarcity of water also in the case of rural fires adds to the difficulty of arresting the'flameq. In Milwaukee the start of tbe fire was due to an oil explosion and the lake near by gave no such excuse as scarcity of water, but higl winds and frame structures were undoubtedly the fac tors which permitted such widespread loss. The lesson is unquestionably the neces sity of aiming more, generally at slow- burning structures. The absolutely fire proof building is as yet undemonstrated; but the means of putting up buildings in which flames can spread but slowly are well demonstrated. Every one should see the importance of this aim in architecture. Insurance companies especially should serve their own interest by lowering their rates on slow-burning construction instead of trying to put up rates Indiscriminately on all classes of buildings. WHAT SHOULD BE COMPARED. The New York World prints in parallel columns extracts from President Cleve land's tariff message of 1887 and from his recent letter of acceptance to prove that he has not changed his position. Both ex tracts express the opinion that the changes which the writer urges can be made with out inflicting any serious disturbance upon industrial interests. In other' words these extracts are cited to prove that the Demo cratic candidate does not propose, as Sen ator Vest alleges, for the party to "wage a war of extermination on protected in dustries." So far so good. But what the World omits, and what would make a very inter esting exhibit in parallel columns'with Mr. Cleveland's utterances, are the dec laration adopted by the Democratic Na tional Convention, and also the resolution which that body voted down by about five to three. If tlfose utterances were placed in comparison it would be found that the Democratic party formally committed it self to tho doctrine of Calhoun, that to adjust the tariff duties so as to yield any measure of protection to home industries s "unconstitutional," and with equal vigor voted down a resolution conveying the assurance, extended by the candidate, that the tariff was to be reduced without inflicting undue injury on industry and wages. Tbe case therefore stands as follows: The candidate first, when tentatively urging his policy and now in tbe midst of a campaign when seeking to conciliate the business Interests, protests that he Is not going to reform the tariff enough to hurt anyone. The party on the other hand re fuses to give any such assurance, virtually declares that they would smash the pro tected industries, and improves the oppor tunity to revive the long defunct theory of Calhoun. Which is the authoritative dec laration of Democracy? There is no doubt that both urge the nation to put Democracy into power, although they make very different representations as to what Democracy will do if it gets into power. Would Mr. Cleveland or the tariff smashers in the House frame the tariff bills if the nation should give them the chance? The Democratic party is the one on trial. As it chose to put itself distinctly on the platform of Calhounlim and the most destructive variety of free trade it must take the consequences. It cannot get out of It by the device of letting the candidate make a new platform in the middle of a campaign. THE GROWTH OF WOMAN. A statement Is going the rounds, with a mixture of scientific and woman's depart ment gossip, to the effect that the Ameri can woman is steadily growing in height, weight and comeliness. The latter part of the statement conveys no news to the male American who has the fact forced on his susceptibilities every day. But that lovely woman is increasing in size, both perpendicularly and horizontally, is news calculated to make glad the heart of man, with the exception, perhaps, of' blm of diminutive stature. Of course this is the result of physical culture. As woman's mind was dwarfed by the pettiness of female education so her body was dwarfed by the vices of fe male dress. The progress of the age to ward giving women the same educational chances as men reveals to us . the proba bility that woman's mental development may eventually become the same as that of men, and here we have a similar intimation that if female physical culture is carried far enough the woman may by taking thought add enough cubits to her stature to bo the physical equal of man as welL The probability has its dis advantages; for as woman represents the leisure class of America, and is therefore able to give the most exclusive attention to these pursuits of culture, it may wind up by letting woman get beyond man in both intellectual and physical growth, which would be unpleasant for the lords of creation. Nevertheless we cannot have too much good. The more there is of the American woman, both physically and Intellectually, the better the American male will like her. The growth Immediately holds out the pleasing hope that woman will grow, in both mind and body, sufficiently to keep the skirt of her dress above the dirt of tbe streets. OTVEAGH'S DEMOCRATIC CAREER. The Dispatch was mistaken. It is not often so; but occasionally an error of judg ment will occur and as such must be acknowledged. The error was in the be lief that the Democratic glorification of Wayne MacVeagh would last till after election. The antecedents justified ,the opinion that it would continue so long, nut THE no longer. Yet David B. Hill, the author ized exponent of Democracy, unconstitu tional, incidental protection and free bi metallic coinage, is whacking away at MacVeagh more vigorously than at any Republican who stands by his party. It is true that Mr. MacVeagh's tactics were so nearly like those of a bull in a china shop that it was incumbent on some of theDemocrats to do something. Never theless, the promptitudo with which David Bennett leaps Into the breach reveals the true Democratic enmity to the hated Mugwump. When Hill gets his chance there is no doubt he hits some bard strokes. Certainly a man who believed that Tilden was elected in 1876, and waited until 1892 to make It tbe reason for political action, is a very peculiar being. And the idea of helping the Cleveland cause by a personal attack on Minister Egan was densely stupid. . It is none the less a remarkable record that MacVeagh has been avowedly with the Democrats about two weeks and now lie is anathema maranatha in the Demo cratic camp. LABOCCHEBE ON PROTECTION. Mr. Labouchere's declaration that if he were an American he would vote for pro tection is an interesting reinforcement to the protective cause. Mr. Labouchere may not bring many votes tot the party but his way of putting the case is such as to have a decided effect on thoughtful minds. He says: "It is certain that at the present mo ment America is the most prosperous country in the world, despite our asser tions that protection is ruinous. If I had been an American myself I should have advocated protection. Tbe proof of the pudding is in the eating. Protection pud ding has provided a more plentiful meal for Americans than free trade provides for us." , There is little doubt that one of the chief attractions to Mr. Labouchere in stating this view is the shock he will thus administer to the most firmly fixed ideas of. the British mind. One of John Bull's most thorough convictions is that it is best for all the world to administer to his prosperity. It being for the English ad vantage to have the United States.adopt free trade it is plain as a pike staff to the average Englishman that the United States will be benefitedby not doing so. Is it not the mission of humanity to consume the output of Brummagem and Manches ter? Mr. Labouchere dellght3 in putting forth propositions that perplex ind amaze the conventional Briton, which may, perhaps, be the inspiring motive in his statement of the case as above quoted. But tbe statement has just the same force on one side of the water as on the other. Tho United States is the most prosperous nation on the face of tbe earth. There are reforms by which this prosperity can be increased and more widely distributed. But the abandonment of the policy under which this prosperity was built up is not among them. v A POSSIBLE DI6COVERT. The manner of tbe theater-party as varied by locality is the subject of inter esting discussion between New York and Boston organs of public opinion. The Boston Adtertiier complains that tbe theater-party of that city is an evident descendant of the sewing-circles of New England's past generation. Its conversa tion makes it impossible for people in the vicinity to hear themselves tbinkr much less hear the dialogue on the stage. Whereupon the New York Tribune comes forward with expressions of surprise and consternation that such things can be in Boston, mentioning by way of contrast that New York theater-parties are models of decorum and respectful attention to tho performance. There might be suspicion that, like Artemas Ward's jeu d'eiprit, "this is sarkassm," if it did close with a reference to Lord Bacon's "vantage ground of truth." This of course renders it impossible to exercise doubts, and, the phenomena being thus established, we may by the synthetic process discover underneath the contrast an important social law. Boston society is staid, formal and self-contained; yet its theater-parties chatter like the gossiping bees of a generation ago. New York so ciety is giddy and portly, but the theater parties which must by no means be con fused with the occupants of tbe boxes at the opera are decorous and silent In this apparent reversal of the usual charac teristics may we not perceive the reflex action of dramatic personification on the habitual spectators? The actors represent other characteristics than their individual ones; and tbe theater-parties are by the example led to assume tbe opposite to their usual qualities. This results In making Boston put an antic disposition on while New York society for a dramatic quick change assumes the counterfeit pre sentiment of quiet and decorous manners. There is support for this interesting theory in the study of the average Pitts burg theater-party. That development of modern society is not remarkable either for Its loquacity or absence of assumption. It is more apt to take tbe attitude of sit ting for its portrait, or the air of rapt ab straction with which tbe Circassian beauty submits herself to the gaze of the commoa herd. Yet posing is not an every-day oc cupation of Pittsburg society. The reflex action of the dramatic art is undoubtedly responsible for this reversal of the usual Pittsburg nature. If further observation should demon strate that Chicago theater-parties are modest and free from assumption, and Philadelphia's expansive and democratic, the operation of the law would be estab lished beyond a question. Great results might be obtained from the scientific ap plication of the discovery. So long as the average citizen allows the loyo of money to take precedence of tbe love of country, government will remain to a great extent in tho hands of spoilsmen. So long as spoilsmen are allowed to huvo their own way, efficiency will be a little consid ered detail in the appointment of nubile servants and the framing of legislation. A big business suffers from bad managers no less than, a little one and so long as offices are regarded mainly as rewards for partisan services, the administration of the country will fall snort of econotnlo Ideals. In propor tion as the individual exercises his right of suffrage according to hi honest opinion of tho fitness ot men and things voted upon In just that proportion will the whole coun try be tue gainer by tbe removal of power from tbe hands or the self-interested few into those of tbe public spirited many. Let every man cast his ballot on bebalf of what he believes to be for the greatest good of the greatest number. Eaikbow-chabees are to be warned against , over-dependenoy on bows of promise, as tbe love-lorn maiden should be ware of too implicit a confidence in the promise of a beau. Ax interview with a representative of the Society far tbe Improvement of tbe Poor, which appears in This Dispatch this morning, contains much tltat is instructive. Tbe gist of tbe whole matter is that Indis criminate alms-giving is more apt to do harm than good to the reoiplent. Honey, or even clothes, food or coal, distributed with out 'investigation encourages professional PTTTggigHG PgATOgg J mendicancy 'more often thahf7ft relieve genuine distress, -anoso who cannot, or win, not, spare tbe time to examine into (he tales of woe recited to excite their pity, or-bore thorn into buying off the beggarcannot do better than subscribe as liberally. o their means allow to a society whiob confines Its relierto tbe needy and probes all the eases submitted to it. , Thet are making experiments in adver tising or) the clouds in London by means of an electrio light. This innovation is won derfully significant Of tho utilitarian spirit of the age. It is too much to hope that the invention will tend to popularize astron omy, and it is rather an extension of tbe earth's' diameter than an incentive to in creased study of tbe beautiful. There will be some interesting legal arguments if rival advertisers aim for tae same cloud, and seek to prosecute one another for trespass. Probably the partition of the heavens among Individuals wilt form a companion plctiueto the partition of Africa among tbe nations. The annual demonstration of the mys terious connection between nuts, indiges tion, lovesickness and Halloween is near at band. May the shadows of the participants never grow less! To-morrow Councils are to decide the High School question, and it is to be hoped that they will devote the idi Fifth Avenue Market property to an educational use.- If they manage to aid the movement to make the collection and cromatlon of garbage a municipal function at the fame sitting, so much tho better for members of Councils and the city in general. What a happy world this wonld be if all men were as fiee from discontent as rival politicals profess to be with tno condition of affairs that is bound to bring defeat to some of thorn! The time will arrive sooner or later when both the public many and the political few will awaken to the fact that desire for office, for tbe sake of the remuneration or power It brings, is rather an argument against a man's appointment to a position of national, State or local importance than a reason for the fulfillment of his desire. American citizens who have not suf ficient leisure to devote reasonable atten- tion to their own government are slaves to' a selfish greed that is destructive of trne patriotism. Hindsight will prove more reliable than foresight as to the severity of the com ing winter. But it is perfectly safe to predict that about half of the candidates for public office will awake to find themselves com pletely snowed under on tho morning of No vember 9. There is probably more corruption going on secretly Just now than is enough to make np lor the bribery told of that has not occurred. Withk the American workman has ar rived at the conclusion that ho would like to scale down bis wages to tbe European standard, a tariff-lor-revenue-only party will be tbe one for him to support. The world does move, electrio omnibnst London has an Bteeet cars should be nailed down with out delay. A carriage and team were lost, stolen or strayed In Pittsburg yesterday. Real estate can hardly be longer considered a secure investment. That much-needed rain is still altogether in nubitnu. PEOPLE OP faOMIKEXCR, Geoboe W. Chilss has been called the "Abou Ben Adhem of the nineteenth cen tury." Andbew Laxo says "there are not many people, perhaps none, who can write fairy tales." He hasn't kept tbe run ot the campaign literature on this side. Pbof. William S. Wood, of Seymour, ' ma., nas taugnt sonooi xor 3 years, in all that time he has been disabled for work by sickness but six and one-half days. The Empress Frederick is hard at work on a memoir of her husband. In this labor of love she is aided by her son, Emperor William, and by Queen Victoria, whom she is to visit in England very soon. , Mbs. M. Fkexch Sheldqx, who is lec turing on East Africa in New England, is advertised probably without her knowl edgeby references to the cost of her gown rather than tbe charms of her narrative. Tennxsok is credited with once having advised a man to read a verse from tbe Bible and a verse from Shakespeare dally; "for," said he, "one will teach ytou how to speak to God and the other how to address your follows." The Pope has granted a dispensation for the marriage of Princess ilarle, eldest daughter of the Duke of Edinburgh, and Prince Ferdinand, Crown Prince of Kou mania. Tbe Princess is a Protestant und the Prince a Catholic. HrBEitT A. Kewtoit, Professor of Mathematics at Tale University, has been elected a member of tbe Boyal Philosophi cal Society of London. Prof. Newton is the oldest active professor at Tale, having been oonnected with the University since 1851 W. T. Wandbet, who died in Qnincy, III., tbe other day in tbe poorhonse, was the last or Blucher's drummer boys at Waterloo. About 100 of them have died in this country alone, if reports are true, and the number of men now living In the United States who re member how Napoleon looked has been nar rowed to less than a dozen. GOLD IH ZEE HEQI0N OF SHOW. Explorer Guvreaa Paints a Glowing Picture or Mining Wealth in the Far North. Seattle, Wash., Oct. 29. Explorer Guv reau and party have returned from their trip up tho Skeena river. Gnvreau, speak ing of his trip, says: "Our Journey was a very interesting one. There is plenty of gold and many opportuni ties forpmoer mining. The miners I met told me they made from 3 to $10 per day on bars, and in a few years many more men will be there. Our work during the suuunor has been largely a tract survey and making goneral notes of our observations for the nse of the Land Department. "Thero is some good land there which might be used for agricultural purposes but for the frosts. .It is too lar north. Wbnn at Skeena this summer I heard of the re sults of our work last year. Some 60 or 70 families have gone in there as a result of in foimatlon we obtained, and I understand there are applications continually coming in for reports and maps. The report on this year's tiip will be given to the Government of British Columbia as soon as possible." A EEMAEKABLE C0IHCIDKK0E. Two Fatal Accidents at Pittsburg and Phila delphia Almost Alike. A wonder of many is the remarkable coin cidence of special events that occnr at dif ferent places at tbe same time. Friday night a man' was Carried on tbe Cannonball express from Bberidan station to Pittsburg, a distance of four miles, stand ing upright on tbe pilot of tbe engine. The same night a man and his wlfo met their dentil In Philadelphia in a similar manner, the woman being ourried lor nearly a mile on the engine's cowcatcher. Tbe Philadel phia Inquirer desoribes tbe incident as fol lows: Kane was dished to the other side and hurled over the embankment, while the mangled bodrof his wife found a lodging place on the cowcatcher of the engine. Before It could be stopptd the train had reached berenteentu street, nearly a mile beyond. The Only Drawback to Chris. New Orleans Picayune. Columbus would have made a great Presi dent of tho United States if he had not been a foreigner and ineligible. , IT They Only Would. , Washington Star. ?f- The small demand or brass bands'during this campaign will give thorn a, chftnoo" to devote some time to music v -s -, v n SUNPAX OCTOBER "80, THE GOSSIP OF POLITICS. IMOM A STAFF COBBBSrOWDXKT.1 There -are some Democrats who are so sure of It that they are already laying pipe for office under Grover Cleveland. Cer tain loyal Clevelanders, and of course pa triots, have been quietly circulating peti tions for appointment and securing indorse ments, so as to be ready for the spoilsmen's fray when the time comes. There are a couple of very excellent gentlemen tempo rarily holding up tho country by tbe tall at No, 1S9 Fifth avenue, who are heavily heeled for bear. I'll back them for odds, to have their applications in before the eleotlon re turns can be got here from the Pacific coast. They have not committed the unpardonable error attributed to numerous outsiders, of filing their applications in advance, but they will lose no time over tbe questions of good tiisto and political proprloty after tbe eleotlon snail Have taken place. , Tbe underground rumor that Mr. Cleve land will abandon hs original anti-Jack-Ionian stand as to the offices and will begin nt once to clear oat the old Republican rub bish and never pause oslon:; as a single Re publican remains on tbe inside and a single hungry Democrat remains on tbe outside has nn extremely exhilarating effect upon these gentlemen. Tbey are taking consid erable stock in the rumor from the fact that Cleveland will not again be a candidate for President, and he will not be under the necessity of trimming so closely and will want to pay off some political dobts before he retires permanently from public office. I am told confidentially in other quarters that Mr. Cleveland is cutting teeth on the Mugwump crowd and that the latter will not run the next Cleveland administration. This Is said to be 'the seoret of the extraor dinary work being done for Cleveland by the Tammany regular Demooiaoy. They say that Cleveland is disgusted with the way tne ante-Chicago financial promises have panned out, and this, in connection with worry experienced in keeping the Mug wumps fiom overturning the kettle and flinging tbe Democratic fat Into the fire, has detei mined him in the new course to be pursued as soon as be gets comfortably seated in the executive chair. It will be seen tbat all this gossip is based upon the extravagant supposition: First That Cleveland has changed his mind as to civil service reform. . Second That his formerpolfcy was merely policy, not principle, and for political ef fect. Third That President Cleveland catered to tbe Mugwumps. Fourth That be expected -the antl-sn&p-pers to live up to their' ante-convention financial promises. Fifth That Cleveland feels indebted to anybody for political services. These people don't know Grover Cleve land. They don't even suspect him. If if they did they would "understand that Cleveland's mind is as inflexible as the fabled laws of the "Medes and Persians. They would appreciate tho fact that tbe Mug wump and tbe anti-snapper were results not the causes or Clevelandlsm. They would realize that there is nosuoli quality as policy in Cleveland's political make-up. Tou might as well discuss the policy of a pig in a corn field. As as for political debts, tbey are all on the other side. .The Democratic party is over head and ears in debt to Mr. Clevoland. He owes It nothing. If it hadn't been for Cleveland I should just like to know where the Democratic party would be to-day. In tbe hands of a receiver, probably. There fore, if Democratic campaigners get any thing out of the coming Cleveland adminis tration it will not be because they are Dem ocratsand, if Mugwump campaigners get anything ont of him it won't be because they are Mugwumps. It will be because Mr. Cleve land sees fit to choose tbem. Gentlemen, don't make any mistake about Clevelaud when you start out gunning for office. Perhaps after all it would be quite as well to wait for the returns. Doesn't Affect the Theaters. ' One of the peculiarities of (his cam 'paign thus far has been its" small influence upon theatrical amusements. Managers dread a political excitement, and usually lose money by every national camDalern. Up to this time, however, managers say the political disturbance has affected tbem very iff tie, or none at all. , Messis. Lltt & Davis have a half dozen shows on1 trie road, aiid their reports indicate tnac all are doing well at least no complaint U made of polit ical interference. It is the same in this city. 'Ail of tbe good attractions are playing to crowded houses, and some very poor "at tractions," so-cailed.are doing quite a pretty business. Whether this is due to "goneral apathy" on the great national issue of who shall parcel oat the offices, or to a moie philosophical viowof things on the pait of the public, I don't know. Tbe theatrical managers don't care. Southern Democrats of New York. Some of the most interesting meetings of tho campaign have been held at the head quarters of the Assooiatlon of Southern Democrats of New York, No. 13 West Twenty-fourth street. It will donbtless surprise many to learn tbat there are about 30,000 Southerners who are now votors in this city. There are 2,000 enrolled memoers of this as sociation. Their handsome and spacious headquarters, next to the headquarters of the Democratic State Committee, just below tbe IloBman House, though apparently han dicapped by No. 13, have been the scene of considerable effective campaign work. It has been said that or tbe entire mem bership of the Southern Association, lully two-tbirds served in the Southern army dur ing thenar. The number of colonels tbat can be met at No. 13 almost any evening would officer a small army. The delightful Southern accent Is heard on every band. The polished manners, the old-fashioned courtesy or speech, the military bearing all remind me of P.lchmon d and Charleston and New Orleans, and form a pleasing con trast to the political chaiactoristlcsof a Tammany Hall crowd. It Is as if one were suddenly transported to a new country and inthemldstof a different race of Ameri cans. General Andrew G. Dickinson, tne Presi dent of the Southern Association, was Chief of Goneial Mauruder's staff during the. war. Mr. William T. Trenholm, Trensuier, will bo remembered as Assistant Secietary or the Treasury under Cleveland. But the list of Vice Presidents and other officers forms not only an lnterestingarray ofnoted South ern names, but includes a formidable slice of tho important and wealthy personality of the metropolis. There are half a dozen bank presidents, as many judges, and big cotton brokers, railway magnates, telegraph magnets, lawyers, doctors, merchants mem bers of tbe various exchanges and so on. The historical name of Washington is con spicuous. William D. H. Washington is a member of tho old Wasnlngton lamilv of Virginia. His father xtus seized by John Brown at the famous Huiper's Ferry raid and held as a hostage. And thero are a hundred other numes ou the list I saw that are familiar to Southern eyes ana eurs that are in dlssolubly associated with the history of tbe country. An Interesting event of the campaizn was a speech delivered at the Southern Associa tion rooms a short time ago by Mr. Thomas L. Sales, a negro and ex-slave, from Vir ginia, The rooms were packed by the most aristocratic representation that could be gleaned from tbo South to-day. The negro is a natural orator. Ho was born in Virginia and was owned by Judge Benedict in Botet purt county. His speech was on the rela tions of tbe races in the Sontb, and ho ad vanced the theory that vho legitimate place ot the negro in Southern politics was where his best interests lie and that was with the respectable white element. It is the snum theory advanced by the late Oliver P. Mor ton, of Indiana, when tho question or nogro suffrage was before tbe country. He de clared that the' logical result would be to give tbe South that much greater representa tion and without any lasting advantage to the Republicans, hs the personal Interests of tbe ex-slave would bo with his old mas ter and he would necessarily Decomo a Dem ocrat. But think of this ex-slave being in vited to addross tho representative South ern Democrats of Now York and being list ened to with respeot and enthusiasm, if you want to be reminded of how merrily the world is moving alongl A Demonstration That Failed. Secretary Wakeman, of the Protective Tariff League, bought a suit of clothes up in Vermont tbe other day for $3 SO. It was a heavy winter suit of .foxy English appear ance, father shortin the coat tail, bnt mak ing np for tltat deficiency in height of collar. It had red and brown and blue and black and white threads in its composition, and was rolled gold in its make-up. Barr ing the English appearance tbe suit was one wblolt an honest mechanlo might not be ashamed of on tbe first day he wore It. Mr. Wakeman lnvetted -In the nglish 'suit made in Vermont to show that the tariff Is not a tax, and-that really good, substantial English. clothe,are made in Vermont at less than naif the tax on the imported article. Ur.jfakeraan procured a bill of aie to ex 189a hibit simultaneously with tbe clothes. This bill of sale shows conclusively tbat tbe snlt was purchased at retail in Vermont for fS SO. The goods show that $5 represents tbe profit and 60 cen ts the cost. Armed with his little bill or sale and clad in the English snlt made inVermout. Mr., Wakeman went forth to slay the free trade dragon. I think it was in Jersey somewhere that he confronted tbe dragon, but no mat tor. It was some placewhere it rained. In the morning he awoke and yawned when he thought of it. The English clotbes made in Vermont were banging across a cbalr. A horrible tbonghc struck him, and he leaped from bis Jersey conch of shucks and corn cobs and began to put them on the clothes, not the corncobs. He might as well have tried the latter, however, as tbe En glish clothes made in Vermont. The trou sers were all right tbey could be worn as knickerbockers; out the vest refused to ac knowledgouny previous acquaintance with the trousers and lacked several inohes of meeting around the waist. As for the coat, it had crept up a foot highor in the tall ana shrunken six inches across tbe shoulders, while the sleeves were about right for ten button gloves. "Can it be possible," so'.iloqutzad Wake man, "that I have suddenly swollen to this greatnessr" Tou see, he was reluctant to find fault with the clotbes. He knew that be made a good, speech tho previous evening, and had ex hibited the clothes and the receipted bill for $3 60 to an enthusiastic multitude, and per haps he mltcht have swollen, don't yon know. But his imported English underwear gave the lie to this. It fit his manly form same as usual. The proof forced itself upon his brain with something equivalent to a dull, sickening thud. While he was lying in bed waiting for his other clothes he men tally resolved upon refotm. Henceforth he would travel with two suits. Charles Tiieodobe Murray. New York, Oct. 29. THINKS EOniNS A PH3T.' The Iter. Dr. Thomas Dixon Says That Four of His Birds Were Sparrows. In answer to the story published a lew days ago about liim, the Rev. Dr. Thomas Dixon has sent the following letter to the New Tork Berald: I have Just returned from a Pennsylvania bunt ing trip and on the train read tbe reports of my alleged lining of sonar birds on Ststen Island. These reports, particularly those fathered by the "United Press." are mostly melodramatic fiction and my alleged utterances a pure Invention. The facts are as follows: Tuesday noon I went over to ataten Island to my old home to practice wing shooting. I prsctlced on sparrows and robins, supposing them both pests. I killed 31 of these birds In three hours' practice. Mr. LUk arrested me Tor killing "songbirds." This arrest was made with most feverish haste aud brutality. He was trembling from head to foot with the excited in stincts of a ulture, thinking of his possible sbare of the spoils, and when I asked him for his author ity he drew his club from beneath his cloak and, rushing at me, tried to push me down without the slightest provocation. I called a carriage and drove to Justice Acker's house. The birds were counted and the fine paid. Mr. Llsk solemnly swearing for the sake of $10 that four common sparrows were thrashes 1 I did not remain in the Justice's private office more than five minutes, and not one syllable of the alleged conversation took place. In my native South, the robin, so far from being considered a soog bird. Is regarded as a disreputa ble, gluttonous pest. On Statcn Island, however, he has been deified. In my soul I am sorry for the people whose stock of song Is so low as to prize as divine the cry of the robin. I repent In ashes. I would not knowingly ruffle the feelings of a sav age by taking the brass ornaments from bis nose, for he doubtless thinks them VautlfuL The man who can discover music In the cry of a robin could doubtless find a symphony of Ueethoven In the movements of a sand fiddler irglven encour agement: and I doubt not that such a man would succeed at last In locating the "lost cnurd" la the bray of an ass. Genius should be encouraged. For the next few days 1 shall devote lnyselr strictly to tiger bunting, and if as successful as with robins I'll not complain at the expenses. Tiioiias Dixox, Jb. NEW TOBK. Oct. 28. Right below above statement the Herald publishes tbe following poem: "A-ItOBBlH OF HrMSILF." He stopped their little carol With his shiny double barrel; The number tbat he killed was thirty-one. He stopped the wee heart throbbln's Ofjust one and thirty robins. And didn't realize tbat wrong he'a done. But he got himself a fix in. Did sporting Pastor Dixon. That cost him a good sum of ready pelf; For each little heart he stopped A live dollar bill he dropped. And he was but a-robbla of Iilmselt M.C. EGAN TERSDS HTEAGH. Mr. Patrick EoAircutlnto the tender spots on Mr. MaoVeagh's skin. Toledo Blade. WaykbMacVeaqh- has a sharp tongue, but Patrick Egan has a sharper pen. Troy Times. Nxw-CoirvERT MaoVbaoh showed alto gether too much zeal in attacking Minister Egan to suit old-line Democrats. Buffalo Express. ' , Aa a job of dignified Mugwump skinning, the letter of Minister Egan to Wayne Mac Veagh cannot be Improved upon. Indian apolis Journal. It is difficult to tell which hurt Wayne MaoVeagh the most tbe letter ho wrote himself or tho one written by Patrick Egan. Rochester Democrat. Probably one Wayne MacVeagh ia now convinced that he made a great mistake when be stirred np one Patrick .Egan. Baltimore American, It seems probable that Mr. Egan and Mr. MaoVeagh Intend to establish reciprocal re lations by resnrdlngeach otber as unworthy of further attention. Washington Star. Cebtaihly Mr. MacVeagh has done noth ing but exposo his own venom against the Irish cause by attacking Mr. Egan for his patriotic efforts in bebalf of tbat cause. JVew Tork Press. Mb. Egah's letter to Mr. Cleveland's law partner, Mr. Wayne MacVeagh, will give the whole firm something to think of from now on to tbe election two weeks hence. Detroit Journal. Mb. Eoiir makes a dignified but none the less effectual reply to the scandalous attacks made on him by Mr. MacVeagh. There was not tbo slightest excuse for this attack. Phi'adelphia Prtst. Mr. Eoan does not deal in dlplomatlo platitudes; he expresses his opinion of Mr. MacVeagh and then enters upon his own de fense In such an able way, tbat it is certain he will make his point among Irish-Americans. Columbus Dispatch. MaoVeaob threw a boomerang when he attacked Patrick Egan. Tbe Irish-American who is a political refugee is not to be in sulted with impunity by the Democrats. It is an honor to be a sacrificing patriot in any oonntry. ounp; "ffijeonstn. DEATHS HEBE AND ELSEWHERE. Robert Franz, Composer. Brief mention ot the death of Itobert Franz, the well-known German composer, was published in this column several days ago. He was born at Halle, the birthplace of Handel. In 1815. During tbe latter years of his life he was the most Important composer of German songs. He was the son of a respectable citizen, and had abundant opportunity to obtain a thorough edu cation. His talent for music appeared early and excited tbe opposition of his parcuts. It was only after years 6f delay and finally under pro'-esttnat his parents permitted him to become a musical pupil. He was regarded by all except his mother as the black sheep of the family. He published his first set of 12 songs In 1313. gaining the ad miration and friendship of the critic Schumann. Ills progress was Impeded bv falling hearing and voted much time to editing the works of Bach and Handel. Captain Frederick P. White. Captain Frederick P. White, of the Pa cific Mall steamship Costa Rica, died In Colorado Springs, Col., yesterday of pulmonary consump tion, aged SI. Captain Whltu a year ago last August was In command of tho City of Panama. He earned an loitrnatloruil reputation bvlilsre rutal to surrender to the Republic of ban Salvador five political refugees who were passeugers on his ship. Andrew Stephens, Newport, Pa. Andrew Stephens, a fall cousin of Hon. Alexander H. Stephens, late Vice President of the Southern Confederacy and lasf of the grandsons of Captain Alexander Stephens, who was with Brad dock in Ms memorable march against Fort Du quesne, died at his home In Newport, near Uarrls burp yesterday. Obituary Notes.. HesbtDtkr, of Harrlsburg, died yesterday, aged 67 years. He fonzht with the Pennsylvania volunteers In the Two Hundred First and Rt glment during the lato war. nursTM. Corriso, of eir xork, well known In the financial world and in Sew York socletv. died very unexpectedly at Francis barracks In St. Aughsllne. Fla., Friday night. -KxLBOx Rlaik Bowmax died Friday at Browns ville in his 83th year. The venerable pioneer passed away peacefully from old age. Mr. Bowman for many fear has lived up the MonongahcU and his landed Interests are considerable. Decuniary ironpies. mms laiwr icjiia. .c I...... .- ... . .. ..... ... ....i.t.... .1... .v.bI.j .. 12 I. nn ENGLAND VS. AMERICA. An Animated, Discussion in "London of a Question of National Consequence A British' Imitator of on American Hu moristWomen's Warfare on Man. by oable(to tbz dispatch.! London, Oct. 2& Copyright "Does America Hate England?" A discussion of this pleasant question has been of national consequence, albeit the connection is not perceived by Englishmen, -of the fit of sulks which seized Jobn Bull last week, when tbe World's Fair celebration forced the latest aspects of American grandeurs and great- .nessupon bis attention. According to bis own notion, as expressed in print, America does bate Britain with a robust and hearty hatred. The wish is father of the tbouzht, for otherwise John Bull could find no justi fication for the feelings which animate his own breast when he turns his eyes west ward. Not that he would confess to enter taining so vnlgar an emotion toward his American cousin. He would scorn tbe sug gestion. He seeks merely a salve for his private conscience when he ascribes to America an enmity which he scarcely re sents. Having deolared his own satisfac tion, thcielore, that tbe slgbt or tbe British flag always arouses in an American a vio lent species of human rabies, Jobn Bull has this week wrapped himself in a great cloud of ineffable contempt. An English Imitation of American Wit, Poor Boston will surely suffer a bad sea turn which the weather clerk won't be able to account for the next time tbe wind is east. John's authority for his conclusion is a series of letters from "an Englishman who has lived ia America, au Englishman who baa traveled in tbo States," etc. These let ters depict a condition of popular English insanity on the other side, truly appalling. The only representative of America in the controversy is a bogus one. An editor of the St. Jamei Gazette, familiar with the "Spoopen dike Papers," has written a burlesque letter signed "MIcbigander and Wile," to that Journal. In which be says: "England Is one of the peskiest, gosh-darndest, measelyold bits ot territory on this almighty planet, and although there are some good people In England, take tbem all round tbey are about? as poor a lot as the tin pot country that gave them birth. Americans are some times called blowhards over here, but great suakesl we have got something to blow about on our side of tho berrlng pond. English men are always skitln, but (bey have ab solutely nothing to skite aoout. Tou haven's got a river in the dodgasted island that would drown a Mexican mule, and as for your mountains we have ants out where I hall from that wouldlnot And tnem com modious enough for anthills. No, sirool We answer your query right on the spot. We do desuiso your waterlogged, vice-laden, wind-broken old territory. It ain't worth ptftty." "Lincoln and the Mono-Metalllsts. Minister Lincoln is said to have told an interviewer in New Tork that there was "reasonable prospect of a sufficient depart ure by England from its hitherto strict mono-metallic ideas to give hope of some practical steps being taken by tho monetary congress for increased use of silver and for their adoption by a sufficient number of im portant powers." If Mr. Lincoln means that thete is any prospect that the congress will take any decision whatsoever, his views do not accord with the general opinion here. Even bi-metalllsts have little hope that any thing usoiul will be done, and inono-inetal-lists assert that two-thiras of the delegates to the congress will enter it witb instruc tions in their pockets to do nothing more than talk. Mr. Ballour's spaccu this week at Manchester in favor of bi-metalllsm has opened the floodgates of controversy, but he said nothing tbat was new. He Is not a recent convert, and he spukj as a Lancashire member to a Lancashire audience. All Lib eral newspapers und a majority of the Tory Journals have criticised his speech adverse ly, and there is absolutely no sign outside ot Lancashire ot tbe popular support which alone can bring the bi-inetallic question into tbe region of practical politics. Tho Women's War on Men. The lords of creation, especially those who oppose woman suffrage, have reason to tremble under tbe mighty threat launched at thorn at the conference of tbe Woman's Emancipation Union, held at Birmingham this week. Tbe patience of at least one valiant maiden who had battled in vain for "her rights" had been exhausted. She was the London delegate to tho conference, and her terrific onslaught upon masculine hu manity may have already reached America. Men, she declared, have always been woman's mortal enemies, and they will bo for all time to come. Women must resort to ' something desperate before they get their freedom. Tbere never bad been a bloodless revolution yet. This was a little strong for Miss Cozens' associates, and they asked her it she was really in earnest. The reply left no doubt of it. Miss Cozens declared tbat if she had a regiment of women who could shoot straight she would win tbe suffrage lor them in a week yes, and she was ready to nse dynamite If necessary. The other nnemancipated women present were not ready to go to quite such lengths, but tbey approved Miss Cozens' spirit. Unique Scheme of a Parisian Fraud. Paris is unique in the qneer schemes of some of her adventurers. Two years ago a sharper using a well-known family name opened a splendid establishment in tbo Una Ampere, where he lived in most lavish style and let It be understood tbat ho was a millionaire. He descrlDed bis magnificene ancestral house In Southern France. Finally he pioposed marriage to a dozen or more of the wealthiest of the light-hearted young women in town, and on various pretexts se cured from tbem sums of money amounting to $40,000. He is now In Jail, together witb a livery stablo keeper supposed to be his con federate. The Biggest Sea Serpent Story Yet. The mail steamer Angola arrived at Liv erpool Thursday with the biggest sea ser pent story yet told. Either the one hundred or more officers, passengers and crew are a company of liars, or his majesty the sea ser pent, mysteriously missing this season from tbe American coast, has emigrated to West Africa. Thin is the story of the witnesses, signed by everybody on board: "While tbe vessel was steaming between Bey Beach and Lagos, a long, moving mass was discerned aboutamlle from shore. There were no flns or flappers to bo seen, but tne leviathan was proceeding along at the rate of Ave or six miles an hour by an undulat ing, wriggling motion. It was traveling in an opposite direction to thit in which the steamer was going, and it was kept in sight for more than ten minutes. It wns esti mated that Its length would be about 200 feet. Tho water at tho time was as smooth as a mill pond, so tpM an unobstructed view of the monster could be had. Atone time it raised its enormous bead and took in the direction of the ship, showing two tre mendous green eyes. It was broad daylight at tho time, and when first seen the creature was within easy distance, being readily saen by tbe naked e e, and tho glasses that were used only confirmed tbe opinion tbat it was a sea serpent." Tho New Remedy tor Cholera. Wonderful things are expected of the new remedy for cholera which has been tested for a month past at one of the Ham burg hospitals. Sir Andrew Clark! first ex perlrncnted with it in England, and sent in discoveror, an English chemist, with it to Hamburg. It is known as "Perlodate Crys tals," but its composition has not been made public Its notion is said to bo the destruc tion of all microblc gonns witnout Injury to tue human tissues. It is an interesting fact, by the way, that flies are found to bo dan gerous propagators of bacilli diseases. An experimenter in Hamburg recently cap tured nlnu flies which had been in contact with cholera material, and placed them in flasks containing nutrient galatine. In six. of the flasks many comma bacilli were sub sequently found. Dogs That Will Steal Anything. The sequel to tbe story about the dog that stole umbrellas Is a sad one for tbe reputation of tbe canine race. The dog and bis master were in court this woek, and tue charge agalnt the beast was fully proved. The dog's master was remandodaftera hear ing, during wnlch the animal howled dis mally. The police testified that dishonesty of the sort charged was by no means un known among dogs. It has since been proved, however, that theft is not always the result or human corruption. A gontle mnn bus come forward to say that he has a collie which not long ago acquired the Intuit of bringing a large number of newspapers, magazines and other literature to the house dally. The aulinol was watched, and it was found that he snatched tne papers from the hani3 of unsuspecting passengers and bounded away to his master's house. This animal has been induced to reform. Somebody Missed a Scoop. Baltimore American.! Someone has discovered the faot tbat when Columbus landed there was no re porter present to ask him what he thought of America, CURIOUS CONDENSATIONS. There Is one 510.000 greenback. Since 1790 433,436 patents have been granted in America. There are 465,000 school children In England's metropolis. The daily newspapers began tha we of Illustrations about lSJi. In 1790 eighty families in Connecticut were engaged in silk-growing. Our output of manufactured articles in 1888 was nearly donble that of Great Britain Curious slabs of stone have been nn-. earthed from a mound In tha Cnijama Val ley, Cal. Twenty-one thousand six hundred per sons were murdered In Italy between 1333 and 1836. The professional Boman actor was dis franchised, his calling being deemed dis graceful. Five Cherryfield, Me., canning estab lishments have put np-S75,000 worth of blue berries this year. During the Norman period in "England ladles' sleeves were worn, long enough to reach the ground. Deer' are reported so plentiful in Michigan town that they have to be stoned out of tbe turnip fields. On the Boyal Sovereign, the new En glish battle ship, there are 600 electrio lights, connected by SO miles of wire. Asnbmarine electrical lamp has been tested in Toulon at a depth of 30 feet. It illuminated a radius of 100 feet. At a recent sale in Paris two autograph scores of Offenbach were sold at $50 and, tbat of "the Prophet" of Meyerbeer for $30. Bobinson Crusoe's Island, Juan Fer nandez, is inhabited by abont CO persons, who attend to tha herds of cattle that grazo there. Curling irons dry the hair by removing the natural oil, and crimping tbe hair over hot Iron sooner or later caus:s It to crack and break. The annual increase in the production of grain in the United States since 1S60 has been double that noted daring the preced. ing 20 years. A San Francisco firm is about to com mence the revival of whaling in the Antarc tic Ocean, which has not been carried on for many years. The region abont the Dead Sea is one of the hottest places on tbe globe, and tbe sea is said to lose 1,000,000 tons of water a day by evaporation. In certain parts of India cocoannt trees, once almost lifeless in appearance, have been made to yield abundantly by placing salt at the roots. The cnltivation of the pineapple in the Bahamas Is a very profitable undertaking. At twopence each an acre of pineapples re turns $200 to $225. If we could penetrate the earth's sur face to a distance of two miles, we would find tho place where water could not exist except in the state of steam. A stained glass window has been put in the parish church of Hythe, England, in memory of Lionel Lnkin, who conceived and designed tne first lifeboat in 1735. Several observant ladies have discov ered tbat vegetarians have clear complex ions, and have either renounced tbe n3o ot meat entirely or partake of it sparingly. In the basement of the Bank'of Eng land is tbe barracks wherein half a hundred soldiers aro quartered from 7 o'clock every evening until 7 o'clock the next morning for tbe protection of the bank. In India and Sonth America there is said to be a small tree, known as the "sor rowful treo," which bears sweet-scented flower", that "bloom only in the night time audfall off at the break of day." The most indestructible wood is the Jarrah wood, of Western Australia, which defies all forms of decay and is untouched by all destructive Insects, so that ships Dalit of it do not need to be coppered. The Paris Jardin des Plantes owes its origin to a florist, who, in tho time of Henry IV.. zrew all sorts of native and imported plants, to sell flowers as models to tbe man ufacturers of embroideries and laces. The Colton Marble Works have just quarried what is claimed to" be tho larzese block of marble ever taken out in Califor nia. It is reported to be 15 feet in length, 5 feet 4 Inches in width and 6 feet 5 inches (hick: In England cheap tobacco is now often wrapped in packages containing graphic illustrations of the glories of a soldier's life, the authorities hoping in this way to induce many ambitious rustics and cockneys to join the army. According to statistics compiled by the In ternational Telegraph Bureau of Berne tbere were dispatched in Europe during the year 1891, 207,595,000 telegram: in the remain Inn portion of the world, 3,422,000. a total of 296,017,000. The cost of shonting "Vive la Franca!" one time In AIsace-Lorraino has been fixed at 20 marks. Joseph Engene Lrmoine, a Journalist, who lives in Prance, but gave ut terance to his patriotic feeling in Metz, has found this ont. There are chicken factories in New England, with never an old hen In them, that are turning oat thousands of mother less chickens every week" more successfully than Dy the old method. In the incubator art leaves nature in the rear. The College of the Propaganda at Borne announces tbe conversion of 40,000 persons to Christianity in tho first six months of 1392. The greater portion of the converts were in Asia. West Africa, and a considera ble number In tbe British provinces. But one species of venomous bird is known to tho student of ornithological odd itiesthe Bpir N'Doob, or "Bird of Death," a feathered paradox of New Guinea. Per sons bitten by tbe creature are seized by maddening pains, which rapidly extend to every part of the body. Loss of sight, con vulsions and lockjaw are tho other symp toms which follow in rapid succession. The Austrian consume more tobacco than any otber nationality or race on tha globe, civilized or savase. Recent investi gation by eminent statisticians gives tbe nnmber of pounds consumed annually by each 100 inhabitants of tbe different Euro pean countries as follows: Snaln, 110 pounds; Italy, 123; Great Britain, 133; ltusila, 182; Denmark, 224; Norway, 229, aud Austria, 27J pounds. OKIGINAI. AND JOCOSE. Editor Ain't this iokerathe farfetched? Funny John-Well. I should say so. Elghly mlles-and I walked all the way. Say. I'd let joo have It for a pair of old shoes. jasper Well. I suppose Scribble has given up trying to become a writer at last,butwbat business ho is going to tackle next is more than I can tell. 1 sec by this morning's paper he has ad vertised for beautiful girl." Bajper Then It is evident he Is going to continue writing. Jasper What does he want with a beautiful girl? Rasper Take his stuff round to the editors, you Jay. Mrs. AstUIe T believe yon have Paddvowskl. tne celebrated pianist. on year books. AmusementMansger Yes. madam. Mrs. Astorvllle Then kindly send him to my house this evening. 1 am going to give a muslcale. Amusement Manager Awfully sorry, but I can't dolt. He's gone South. He wanted a haircut sad was afraid to risk It In this climate. TWO VRIESD3. She had two friends, one fat, one lean, She liked them both, sho was not mean: Tbe lean o'er hill all clay would roam, Por leaves to decorate her home; The fat would sit upon the book. Tor leaves,whenprv:seo,mnchp'cttler look. It was a beantifnl dav at the close of Oc tober. Tbey stood side by side 'nea:h the spread ing branches of a monarch of the forest on her father's estate. She was a simple country maiden. Slot machines and electric cars were as Greek to her. He was a long-haired chap wno baa spent most of his time writing bad poetry and eating English mutton chops at a quick and dirty, and be cause he could do the latter he called himself a Bo hemian. As they stood gazing at the setting sun, she expecting a proposal, he broke forth: See yonder oaks now shed their varied leaves. They stand like soldiers, fearless of thefr foes Then, glancing down, he caught sight of his patched and threadbare summer suit aud contla uedr Ah. happy now should autumn be. Indeed, if or, sure as fate. It now draws near ltt el rise.