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ESTABLISHED FEBRUARY 8, 1846
Vol. T. No. 171. Entered at Pittsburg PostotBee
November, 1837, as eecond-elass matter.
Business Office Corner Smithfield
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PlTR-nCKG. SUNDAT. JDLY 14. 1892.
A VILLAINOUS ACT OF ANARCHY.
The cruel and cowardly attempt upon
the life of Chairman Frick, of the Carnegie
Company, yesterday, will cause a thrill of
horror among citizens irr every part of the
land. The response to the bullet of the
assassin will be one of deepest execration
for the shame it has brought to what has
hitherto been accounted the freest, the
safe:t and the most considerate govern
ment that human civilization has ever de
veloped. The circumstances of this shocking cli
max of the labor troubles which have been
lying like a nightmare upon the commu
nity for three weeks past, leave no
room for doubt as to its character. It
was only one man who was struck at; but
every American citizen will be compelled
to recognize that the weapon was the
smoking pistol of Anarchy which, under
tlie guie of a personal assault, was boldly
and defiantly thrust at the throat of Amer
ican Government.
The criminal wretch who attempted
this foul aud deliberate assassination must
lie left for present to the sure punishment
of the law in whose hands tor is. His
victim is in the hands of r wise Provi
dence; and upon this Sup Jay morning
- "" ' sincere prayers will arise for the
complete recovs-, of which his physi
cians happily are enabled to give good
hope.
It is a shocking and an unutterably
shameful thing that it is necessary to
speak of labor troubles In connection with
such a cool and brutal piece of business as
this: but alike In justice to all concerned,
and for a sure understanding of what is to
como 3fter, it is necessary to do so In clear
terms. The Amalgamated Association
leaders join in repudiating with bitterness
the act of the Anarchistic assassin,
and in expressing their sorrow, newly
changed lrom antagonism, lor ilr. Frick.
How could they feel otherwise? The
assassin who defiled the name of humanity
and the cause of labor by the pretension
of his villainous deed has put upon or
ganized labor the onus of clearing its
reputation forever and effectually of the
soil of Anarchy, which he 'would have
fastened upon it. The expressions from
the leaders proclaim their purpose to do
tins; but even these must be followed by
such a formal and universal expression as
can leave no possible doubt as to where
organized labor stands in relation to the
sanctity of the laws and of human life.
One of the first things to be insisted
upon is an attitude of complete respect
ft r these laws In every particular of the
further bearing of the men af
fected by the troubles at Homestead and
Duquesne. Before the public will listen
to any further discussion of the rights
or wrongs of those troubles, they will in
sist upon complete recognition by
all concerned of the obligations of the
law. The men locked out or upon
strike must so comport themselves that
they cannot be charged with interfering
with the free right of other men to work
it they see fit. This is what the law re
quires nothing less than this. This is
what the union labor organizations must
abide by, without cavil or evasion.
The questions beneath the Issue be
tween labor and capital must, as The
Dispatcii has continuously insisted, be
settled not by violation of the law, but in
stnet and thorough regard for every
right which the law guarantees. One
of these rights is for the union
men to strike if their judgment so ad
vises; the other is for other men to work,
if they so elect, without let or hindrance.
There can be no pretense of any sort of
ssue upon this, unless those who contest
it put themselves in the unequivocal atti
tude of deliberate law-defiers and incur
the tlern penalties ultimately imposed
upon such.
It wuld be the crudest injustice to
labor to'.assume that any honest working
man can have any other feeling but de
testation for the scoundrelly act of yester
day. Let this be now shown not only by
word but by deed. Let it be shown by
such couduct in the troubles with tho
Carnegie Company as will give no pre
tense for a new outbreak of the virus of
Anarchy, whose appearance in any form is
a signal to all good citizens to rally with
crushing force against any and all who
give it the slightest appearance of tolera
tion or encouragement.
THE COST OF UVINO.
In Mr. Henry Tuckiey's letter from
London, published elsewhere in this Issue,
a very important light is thrown on the
oft heard claim that the cost of living Is
less for the masses in England than in this
country. This assartion, which is uni
versally made to balance the indubitably
versaiiymade to balance the indubitably
higher wages of this country, falls through J
when tested by Mr. Tuckiey's practical
examination.
Briefly, Mr. Tuckley finds, on examina
tion, that railroad fares and hotel charges
as exponents of tho cost of life, are as
high in England as in the United Slates
for accommodations of equal character.
Clothing he finds to be about the same
price, for thp kinds worn by laborers at
their toil and the cheaper suits in which
workingmen of the lowest paid ranks
dress themselves for holidays; while of
the higher grades of clothing the English
is the cheaper, but the difference is In in
feriority of fit and finish. The English
man of the higher classes who wears
clothes that are perfect in fit and quality;
pays as much as his American cousin who
is similarly well dressed.
In one respect the English workman has
an undoubted advantage rents are very
much cheaper, but, as Mr. Tuckley says,
this is fairly balanced by the large pro
portion of American workmen who own
their own homes. In addition, the cost of
such staple articles of food as meat and
flour Is 25 to 30 per cent higher.
Undoubtedly the English workingman
lives mere cheaply than the American.
So docs the laborer of India or tho coolie
of China live more cheaply than either
English or American laborers. The dif
ference in all cases is due to the compelling
fact that the labor has to accommodate its
style of life to the wages it can earn. But
for an English workman to eat, dress and
travel as " the American workman of the
same rank doss, would cost him as much
in the long run as the American must
pay. .
SENATORS AND THE CONSTITUTION.
The ground of opposition to the confir
mation of ifr. Shiras by one or both of the
Pennsylvania Senators presents a re
markable exposure of the motives of
practical politics. There Is an appoint
ment to high judicial position, that is
conceded to be an exceptionally good
selection. The Senators who are grum
bling at the nomination are unable to
allege anything against the high legal
ability, unimpeachable character and emi
nent "fitness of Sir. Shiras for the place.
Bnt the objection is simply that he was
not the Senatorial selection; and for that
reason there is talk of a demonstration of
the Senatorial power by securing a refusal
of the confirmation.
This theory of appointment happens to
be a direct reversal of the constitutional
provision. The Senators claim that they
must first indicate the appointment, and
the President must follow their indication,
after which the Senate will confirm it
But a certain document called the Consti
tution of the United States clearly pro
vides that the President is to make the
selection and that the whole Senate, not
one or two individual Senators from each
State, must confirm or reject the nomina
tion. The political view of appointments by
which the provisions of the Constitution
are denied and overridden sufficiently
characterizes itself without any commen
tary. But it is pertinent to inquire
whether Pennsylvania elects United States
Senators to support the Constitution or to
nullify it
THE RUSSIAN LAKO SYSTEM.
An article in the July Forum, by Mr.
TV. C. Edgar, the commissioner in charge
of the cargo of flour sent by steamer Mis
souri to the famine sufferers in Russia,
deals with the ultimate cause of the fam
ine. According to this gentleman the real
source of the failure of the crops and the
epidemics which followed it, is the com
munal land system of that country.
When the serfs were freed 30 years ago
each commune received a certain amount
of land for the support of and cultiva
tion by its inhabitants. Under the Mir,
or communal system, each peasant re
ceives an allotment of land for the season,
and has no assurance that he will receive
the same land for two seasons in succes
sion. On the other hand it is.stated that
the communal land set aside for this pur
pose at tho emancipation was not more
than was necessary for the support of the'!
population at that time. .Now that the
population has increased, it is decidedly
inadequate. So far as this phase of the
question is concerned, it is therefore sug
gestive that the ultimate cause of the
famine is not so much the existence of
communal land as the fact that there is
not communal land enough.
But apart from that it is no doubt true
that the productiveness of land depends
on the thoroughness of cultivation; and
this the Russian system does not provide.
The peasant holding bis allotment for
only one season has no inducement to Im
prove it so as to make It productive in
future years. The great proprietors have
exhibited the practices of absenteeism to
a marked degree. The result was that a
single unfavorable season which if the
land had been well cultivated could have
done no worse than cut off the exportable
surplus reduced Russia to absolute beg
gary, and left her population a prey to
hunger and epidemics.
The fact certainly justifies the belief
that there is no land system which yields
better results than the one of small pro
prietorships, which exists in this country
and France. Efforts to change that vital
characteristic of the fullest development
are not in the public interest
CAREFUIXY IN THE WRONG.
The Congressional Committee investi
gating the management of the Immigra
tion Bureau at Ellis Island, got into a row
with Assistant Secretary of the Treasury
Nettleton the other day in which it put
itself painfully in the wrong. At a hear
ing before the committee General Nettle
ton referred to a report which had been
printed for the use of the committee,taking
exceptions to some of Its statements. In
stantly there was an outbreak over tho
fact that the Assistant Secretary had been
permitted to see the report affecting the
administration of bis department One
fiery Southern member took occasion lo
hurl the awful charge of "no gentleman"
at the official for the offense of having
read the report A disposition was shown
to put General Nettleton on the rack for
declining to state how he obtained the re
port; but finally the matter was settled
and the dignity of the committee rescued
from ruin when the Assistant Secretary
handed his copy of the report to Senator
Chandler, who at once avoided further
peril by tearing thecorpirttkftriito shreds.
After the committee have had time to
draw a long breath, it may occur to them
to inquire whether they did not make
fools of themselves. There has been an
impression that the committee had the
Treasury Department in a rather tight
place. But if it appears that its conclu
sions are to be made up by reports which
are not submitted to the criticism of the
officials interested, the public will be apt
to withdraw confidence from Its findings.
It would be natural to expect that all the
documents in a public investigation would
be upen to the parties in interest
The impartiality and equity" of a pro
ceeding in which the documents are jeal
ously withheld from the defense are placed
ousiywitnneiairomiueaeiense are placed i
under suspicion by the fact, an! nothing
but full publicity can remove such a suspicion.
THE PUIXMAN SOLUTION,
In
a special article elsewhere a corre
spondent points out the town of Pullman,
III., as a place where there are no labor
troubles. This is attributed to the care
taken to provide the men employed In tho
works there with model houses at cheap
rents and to pay them good wages. On
business principles the investment In the
town of Pullman is shown to pav the com
pany, while the fact as stated that there
has been but one strike in its history, and
that only of a week's duration, is con
sidered as showing that these qualities go
far toward avoiding labor difficulties.
It is a valuable and significant fact that
good pay, good homes and good sanitary
arrangements all at cheap rates ameliorate
labor disputes. Yet It would require
persistent optimism to regard the town of
Pullman, III., as the solution of the social
problem, or indeed as a model in its essen
tial characteristic for the building of dem
ocratic communities. Its streets may be
well paved and its sewers first-class. But
a town where no workingman can own
his own home is not the reali
zation of the purpose of a popu
lar system. It is no solution of
the labor difficulty to give the employing
corporation the power over the homes of
its workmen of a landlord over a tenant
at will, as well as that of an employer
over their means of livelihood. For the
hope of an ultimate solution it is ques
tionable whether Braddock and Home
stead are not as good as Pullman. The
wages are as good or better; the streets
may not be so well cleaned; but the men
can own their own homes and exercise an
independent voice in their own govern
ment That there is strife there between
employers and employed is a regrettable
proof that the problem is still unsolved;
but oven with that strife, it is nearer
the proper solution than the quiet which
is secured by uniting the powers of a great
landlord with those of a great employer
in a single corporation.
The real solution of the labor question
is that which will come most nearly to
making workingmen capitalists and their
own employers. The Pullman plan goes
further in the opposite direction than any
of the manufacturing communities which
at present have an undesirable prominence
on account of the wages trouble's.
THE COMBINATION AND THE COURTS.
The New Jersey movement against the
anthracite coal combination is moving
more promptly than the one undertaken
by our State authorities. An argument
before the Chancellor of that State took
place last week on the application of the
Attorney General for an injunction.
The Attorney General asks for an in
junction restraining tho combination and
all proceedings under it as inimical to
the public interest, and declaring void the
lease of the New Jersey Central, on which
the combination hangs. If the Court sus
tains the Attorney General the New York
World declares that "the bottom will
drop out of tho conspiracy." That asser
tion should be qualified by the proviso
that it will do so if New Jersey has better
fortune than Pennsylvania in making the
orders of its Courts effective against the
great corporations.
But, while New Jersey may be more
prompt than Pennsylvania in its legal
proceedings, it cannot keep up with the
combination's rate of advancing the price
of coal. The organs of the consolidation
in Philadelphia report another advance to
be in reserve to take place August 1.
This -will make the total advance on the
cost of coal since the combination was
formed a dollar per ton.
In other words, the combination policy
will impose on the consumers of coal a
total levy of 540,000,000 per annum more
than the cost which would be fixed
by the competitive forces to which the
earnings of the masses are subject The
statement of that fact renders further
comment unnecessary.
A PETTY OUTLAWS DEATH.
The death of Jack Cooley, the notor
ious outlaw of Fayette county, has a
touch of pathos about it that involves the
descent from the sublime to the ridiculous.
Fora long time the gang bearing Cooley's
name has held the mountain section in
terror, and defied arrest by the authorities
of the county. It seemed as if a second
Rob Roy, by his superior knowledge of a
mountain district, wero able to set the
law at defiance and carry on the career of
outlawry with overy prospect of con
tinued impunity.
A man who can hold the law in defiance
is a very important, if not a pleasant figure;
but the death of this particular outlaw
takes away all bis claims to the dignity of
heroic crime. Serious as the subject of
death must always be, the con
trast between the life of Cooley
as a defier of the law and his
death as a petty criminal is almost
farcical; for the notorious leader of a
gang which held the law at arm's length
was killed by a spring gun while robbing a
milk house. The man whom the posse
comitatus could not take from his mount
ain retreats fell a victim to a spring gun
set to catch petty milk thieves, in wbjch
class the notorious Cooley is ranked by his
violent death.
The lowering of the rank of Cooley as a
criminal is hardly less severe on the legal
powers than on himself. There might be
some excuse for the civil power in failing
to suppress a nineteenth century Donald
Bean, who, as Evan Dhu says, "never
lifted less than a drove of cattle," but the
machinery of the law which cannot arrest
a thief who Is revealed by his death as a
robber of milk houses makes a poor show
ing for its right to exist
A story is going the rounds of an In
dian leopard that was not killed until it had
caused the death of eighty-two human vic
tims. But as compared with the Tammany
tiger that leopard's dangerous destructive
proclivities were only in their infancy. "
This is about the time to realize that one
of the blessings of a rural residence lies in
the result of doing more than look upon the
fruit when it is green.
Ir is impossible to deny that detectives
are a self-saoriflclng set when a woman .in
NewJYork consents to have a tooth drawn
by a barber in order to -bring evidence
against him for dolui: th? work without the
necessary legal license
In matters of civil service deformity
Stevenson and Harrity are very much alike,
especially Stevenson, as he has had more
scope for action.
Anyone skeptical enough to doubt that
the just and unjust mingle wherever the
snn shines shonld be convinced of the fact
now that burglars have been found among
the good visitors to Chautauqua.
Should Stanley persist in running for
Parliament again he will add another proor
to the fact that his determination exceeds
his discretion.
IT would be interesting to know just how
"h f i, w3. , .i7.
g uuZmZ
water from Connellsvlllo by & steel pipe
line "are Inches in diameter."
Now that the Rev. Mr. Talmage has met
the Czar a marked improvement may ha
expected in the Government of Bussla.
Aftee approving the selection of such a
spoilsman as Stevenson ns his running mate,
there is no reason to wonder that Cleveland
is ready to embrace Tammany as Boon as he
can get an opportunity.
Plans for a revolutionary invasion of
Cnba are more than likely to end in smoke
like the cisars of that name.
A 80CIETY pledging its members to use
oil cans for fire lighting purposes under no
possible provocation should bo formed at
once to prevent a decrease in the' country's
population.
Senator Hill is silent now. Ko doubt
he has said onougU in the past to make him
IBorry he spoke.'
Mes. De Kavabeo, nee Mary Anderson,
strenuously denies the reports that she will
return to the stage. She is too busy prac
ticing as nurse to think of playing Juliet,
Did anyone venture to remark that Pitts
burs has a ball team that can win a gome?
Sparks from a locomotive.started a fire,
burning hundreds of acres of corn in Cali
fornia. Whon will locomotives be forced to
consume their own sparks and smoke?
Brethren, let us rest awhile.
There is additional reason for a speedy
adjournment of Congres now that the
largest brewery of its kind in Washington
.has been burnt down.
MASCOTS EN MASSE.
Ex-President Cleveland and wife
have engaged rooms at Lake Placid, in the
Adirondacks, from August 0 to August 10.
Labouchere predicts that his former
ally and friend, Chamberlain, will end up in
an asylum, with otraws in his hair, a paper
crown on his head and a broomstick in his
band.
The Board of Regents offered President
F. Adams, of Cornell, the Presidency of the
Wisconsin Stato University, and he will be
at Madison next week to look into the
matter.
Prof. Kocn has gone to the cholera in
fected districts of Russia to renew his in
vestigations into the cause or the disease,
paying especial attention to tho comma
bacillus.
M. de GlERS, the Russian Foreign Min
ister, who has been ill for a long time, .but
who it Is thought was recovering, has suf
fered a relapso ana is obliged to keep to his
bed. He is in Finland.
Frank R. Stockton, the author of
"Hudder Grange," is at present "doing" Lon
don. Ho has bright, dark eyes looking oat
from under a broad forehead, a sensitive
mouth and a grayish, peaked mustache.
Edward Avery Harrison, of Boston
Law School and graduate of Harvard, was
elected a professor in the Northwest Law
School in Chicago by the Executive Commit
tee of tho University Board of Trustees last
night.
Mrs. Harrison has a passion for
orohids, and has them in profusion in the
rooms of the Executive Mansion. The White
House conservatory contains over 150 va
rieties or the orchid about 6,000 of tho
plants in all.
It is not generally known that the Mar
quis of Lome is a poet. If his works were
Judged by quantity instead of quality, he
would take a high place, for he is said to
have already written nearly twice as much
poetry as Lord Tennyson.
Governor McKinley, accompanied by
his wife, arrived at Canton to-day from
Cleveland. They will remain at the home of
the Governor's parents for several days,and
then depart for the West, where the Gov
ernor is to deliver a number of speeches.
"While Daniel Dougherty, the silver
tongued orator of Philadelphia, is in a very
critical condition, it was reported that he is
slightly improved. He has lost 90 pounds
since he was attacked with malarial fever
and enlargement of the liver early in June.
Mrs. Antonio Navarro (Mary Ander
son) has written a letter to the Associated
Pressin London, in which she denounces as
untrue the reports which have been current
of late that she intendod to return to the
stage. Tha Navarros will pass the autumn
in Scotland and the winter in Italy.
Ex-Premier Saqasta's daughter Esper
anza was married in Madrid yesterday. The
couple received an enthusiastic greeting by
the crowd, and bands in the street played
Rtego's hymn, the "Spanish Marseillaise."
The presents to the bride are valued at over
$200,000, inoludlng a rich gift from Qaeen
Regent Christina.
HE WAS LIBEBALLY BEWABDED.
A Boston Compositor Is Left 85,000 for
Stopping a Ruunway.
Bostok, July 23. Mr. Clayton C. Clough, a
Boston Job printer, has been left $3,000 by
the will of the late Herford Drummond, of
London, as a roward for stopping a pair of
runaway horses and saving the lives of Mr.
Drummond and his daughter in Halifax in
January, 1891.
The horse had been started bv something
on the sidewalk, and dashed off at a lively
rate. The carrluge contained a man about
63 years of age and a young woman.
Mr. Clough saw the horses coming,
and running into the street grasped tho
bridles and stopped the runaways with
out sustaining other injuries than a few
scratches and bruises. The man was pro
fuse in his thanks, and wished to reward
Mr. Clough on the spot. Mr. Clough posi
tively declined to acoapt anv reward. Ho
was an Englishman who made a fortune in a
gunpowder establishment in London. Sev
eral years ago be retired from business, and
was making a tour of Canada when the run
away occurred.
Mr. Clough is about 26 years of nge, and is
a native or Shtreley. He learned printing
in Northampton, and has worked in news
paper offlces in various cities, having gone
as far South a Georgia
He came to Boston a year ago last April.
He will leave for England about August 1 to
be legally Identified and get the money.
LATEST FB0M H0NDUBAS.
The English Report That the Republic Has
Closrd Its Ports Denied.
New Orleans, July 23. Special The
companies engaged in tho Honduras trade
deny the reports sent out by the British
Minister at Guatemala to the British foreign
office, that the Government of Honduras has
closed its coasts to torelgn commerce. Sev
eral of the leading merchants doing bus
iness with that country or having steam
ship lines running there, assert that the
statement is not true, inasmuch as Hon
duras has so few products ot ber own that
the natives would starve if foreign corn
mere were suspended. In its present state
of excitement, caused by the revolution
headed by General Nulla, staple articles
offered nre very scarce.
The latest news from the scene of the re
volution is that the insurgents, did not cap
ture Olancbito, as reported. It is stated
that Bonllla and his forces wero routed and
retreated toward the coast, but this last
story is denied bylie revolutionists.
Pittsburg Is in This.
New York Recorder!
' New York is the first manufacturing city
On the continent. It leads Philadelphia. Do
its workers want to come down to the free
trade standard of wages? If so, let them
vote for Cleveland.
One Thing That Is Certain.
St. Louis Glote-DcmocratO
There is some doubt as to which of the
great parties in Indiana the People's party
will hnrt most, but there is not much room
for doubt that the Republicans will carry the
State.
His Dulles Are Increased.
Baltimore American.
Chairman Carter's new land office is the
whole country, and It is his duty to see that
the title to the Republican ownership re
mains undisturbed for another four yean.
A LOOK AROUND.
Usually the races are a good place for a
look around, but it is not so in Pittsburg.
Time was when thero was muoli to see at
a Pittsburg race meeting, but that time has
joined Hans Breltman's "barty" and Bone
off into rosy clouds. As things are now you
go to the races to soe the horses and
not to see the people. 'To admit that you
went there to see the people would be to
wipe yourself off tho slate soolally. .
After a day's experience you may go again,
but it will not even be to see tho horses. It
Is to be there and watch men who are or
dinarily sensible trying to beat the game a
thing reserved for the elect. If yon know
any tiling of horses and see a race like the
free-for-all trot Friday you will button up
your pockets if you are wiso and sit still and
watch your neighbors and listen to the wise
men. When a horse wins a race like that,
which has sold for $5 in pools of $110, and
which wins froe-ror-all heats in 2:21 against
horses with records of 2:15, you begin to
wonder if Wall street Is really as good a
place to get rich as a race track If you are on
the right end.
It used to be necessary to overlook some
peculiarities ir a man controlled a number
of fine horses; but that is not the ease at
present. Trotting horses are plentiful, and
good ones at that, and judges should recog
nize that fact and aot upon it.
A boy was run over by a careless driver
In a buggy hurrying down the private way
to the track. The little cbap was all mixed
up with hoofs and wheels, and there were
screams and cries from the onlookers. As
for the hero of the Incident, he was pioked
up, very dusy, very frightened, very much
nonplussed as to what had happened, but
when he blow half a pound of road-bed out
of his mouth he demonstrated that his lungs
were all right, and an examination showed
that he was not hurt atalt.-It was lucky
for the man who drove over him that tills
was the case, for there were numbers of
brawny gentlemen in dusters who would'
have taken the matter up if the result had
been more serious.
I spoke the other day of the rejection of
George Woodward by the Senate as a Jus
tice of the Supreme Court in Jackson's time.
I lan across another rather ourlous incident
in the sew history of the Supremo Court. It
is said that Jackson offered a Justiceship to
John Serjeant, who declined it on the ground
that he was considerably past 60 years of age
and thought himself too old for tho active
work of the bench. He suggested the posi
tion be tendered Horace Binney without his
becoming aware that he was second choice.
Jackson then made the offer to Mr. Binney,
who declined for precisely the same reason
and who urged that John Sergeant be soleoted
and that he De not told that another person
had been suggested. The President then
selected Robert C. Grier, who accepted.
TnERE is little doubt that Hugh O'Don
nell saw Chairman Carter, of the Repub
lican National Committee, and Chairman
Clarkson, of the Executive Committee, in
New York on his recent visit. It is also Said
that President Harrison, Mr. Reid and the
leaders of the committee were urged to ask
Mr. Carnegie to interfere in the Homestead
matter. There is even a report that Mr.
Blaine has boon asked to try to bring things
to a happy conclusion through his friendship
with Mr. Carnegie.
The office of the Adams Express Company
in East Liberty, to which I have once or
twice referred, has a way of doing business
which is not at all pleasant to the patrons of
the company. For example, if John Smith
In New York sends a package to John
Jones at 679 Homewood avenue, Pitts
burg, he supposes it will go to Jones'
house when he prepays the charges in New
York. If he should inquire at the sending
end in many cases he would be assured that
such would be tho case. In reality, Jones
gets a postal card in the course of time noti
fying him that there is something for him at
the office of the company on Frankstown
avenue, and asking him to call and get it.
He can cither go and got it or send the local
express messenger for it at an extra charge.
This applies even when the consignee lives
within a quarter of a mile of the East Lib
erty office.
This Is the first time in years that it has
not rained tho greater part of the week dur
ing which the Homewood meeting has been
held. It is an old saying among horsemen,
"When you go to Pittsburg take the horses
that can do best on a heavy track."
Walter.
BIG BOAT TO BE BUILT.
The Largest Fresh-Water Vessel Hns Jnst
Been Contracted For.
Bay City, Mich., July 23. A contract for
the largest boat ever built on fresh water
was closed to-day by the F. W. Wheeler
Shipbuilding Company of West Bay City. It
was for a steel steamer for Hawgood &
Avery, who are at the head of the syndicate
of wealthy vessel owners at Cleveland. The
new boat will be SCO feet keel and 45 feet
wide. Her extreme length will be a little
short of 400 feet, and she will carry on 16 feet
of water not less than 1,600 tons of dead
weight. This far exceeds tho average cargo
of salt-water steamers, and for the same
draft of water is without precedent any
where. Then the 20-root obannel connects
all the great lakes between Chicago, Duluth,
and Buffalo, an anmonrlation for which has
1 already been made by Congress, the new
steamer win enrrv over o,iaaj tons.
That over $300,000 should be put into one
boat during a season when the corn rate be
tween Chicago and Buffalo has been much
below 2 eents would have been considered
foolhardy a few years ago. Bnt w It'll the
modern fleet of fast steamers carrying 100,
000 bushels and over, experience has shown
that there is a good return even at these
low figures for the big carriers. The new
boat will have a speed of IS miles per hour,
whiah has been found the most economical
when both consumption of fuel and time of
boat on a trip are counterbalanced. She
will bo ready for service at the opening of
navigation next spring.
A BIO WHEEL OK A TEAR.
Its Explosion Creates Terrible Havoc In the
Brush Plant at Cincinnati.
CnrcixxATi, July 23. Abont 40 minutes
after midnightthis morning a rapidly whirl
ing cast iron belt pulloy, about eight feet In
diameter, operating a dynamo in the Brush
Electric Light Works exploded.
It mashed a costly engine to pieces and
tore up the building considerably, A piece
of the iron wheel went through a window,
struck the side of a brlek tenement house
100 feet away, tore through the wall and
knocked all the plastering off that side of
tho house.
They Will Get It.
New York Herald.
Mr. Cleveland is getting so bald that there
will have to be some tall hustling done by his
friends, the Bepublicans, in order to get his
scalp lock by November.
In Need ot n Secretary.
New York Morning Advertiser. J
Too bad to keep Mr. Clovoland so long from
his desk. Think of the number of able let
ters he will have to write when ho gets back
to Gray Gables!
Has Had a Good Experience
Boston Herald. 3
Mr. Gladstone is said to be opposed to
pntting Labouchere in his Cabinet becanso
he is a newspaper man. President Harrison
could teach him better than that.
THE VIOLET.
New England Magazine.
Once, when dissolved was winter's snow,
A violet in doubt
Looked timidly about;
Then, feeling vernal breezes blow,
She ventured out.
"Ah 1 Spring has come at last, " said the I
'No more In earth encased,
I soon 6hall be embraced
By some stray April wind, and he
My lips shall taste. V
Woe's me; Old Boreasfrom the North
Came roaring coldly by;
I heard a piteous cry;
Xfcc violet that had Tentured forth
Came bnt to die.
- Charles' Battett LochU,
A HOT ABCH.X0X0QI0AL HELD.
Interestlnc Results of a Scientific Expedi
tion Throuzh the State.
PaitADiapniA, July 23. Dr. Charles C
Abbot, curator of the museum, and Henry
C. Mercer, of Doylestown, who some months
ago were sent out by the Archaeological As
sociation of the University of Pennsylvania
for the purpose of examining the caves and
rock-shelters of the upper Susquehanna and
of looking for traces of paleolithic man in
tho river gravels, have Jnst returned to this
city after a most successful trip which
promises to bear some fruitful results for
arohioQlogical investigation.
Tho commission paid a visit to the caves
at Helruch's Spring, near Allentown; Guth
vllle's Cave, Lehigh county; a rock shelter
near Krcigeville, Carbon count": Simon
Glrty's Cave, Northumberland county, and
the Hummelstown Cavern, on the Swatara,
Lancaster county. The chier result of their
researches was the important discovery of a
sorles of specimens Illustrating the burial
customs of the ancient line Indians, and the
discovery near Sellng's Grove, Snyder
county, of the black Jasper, quarry rrora
whlah their original arrow head material
was obtained. Amonir other finds was thnf
u an interesting series or onip atones throw
ing new light upon the so-called paleolithic
instrument and the ancient processes of
stone chipping, together with a large series
of Indian relics representing most of the
Tillage sites from Pittston to Bainbridge.
The specimens are to be deposited In the
Iiuuuamu ui aa .oronwoiogicai society, unaer
the etre of Dr. a O. Abbot, who is to display
them to the Board of Managers with full
explanations some time in the autumn.
A D0Q HELD IB BAIL.
The Immense Snm of 901,000 Entered for
the Canine's Appearance.
Newabk. N. J., July 23-There is a guaran
tee of $61,000 that an English setter, now in
the possession of Edward Mnrtba, and
which Julias Hammestabr elaims to be his,
will be produced in court when wanted.
The dog is under that amount of bail, as it
were.
A writ of replevin was procured Wednes
day for the doir. Jacob Hogg giving a bond
for $61,000 that Hammestabr wonld produce
it in court. Lawyer Frank McDermu, who
is Murtha's counsel, walked into the Second
District Court and made affidavit that Hogg
was worth that amount and accordingly
uave a bond. The case will be tried in the
Seoond District Court, and each contestant
will bring a host of witnesses to swear that
the dog is his.
PHILADELPHIA SH0BT OF WAXES.
fears of a Famine Owing to the Low Stage
or tha Schuylkill Hirer.
Philadelphia, July 23. A water famine
threatens this city, owing to the low condi
tion of the water in the Schuylkill river.
The chief of the Water Bureau to-day re
quested the Director of Public Safety to stop
all fountains and flushing of gutters and to
economize in the use of water. There should
be 26 feetof water In theEast Parkreservolr,
which now contains nine.
People in the neighboring section of the
citv have already noticed the lack of a
sufficient volnme of water. In many houses
in that part of the city to-day, it was almost
impossible to obtain any water from the
hydrants, and none upstairs. This condi
tion of affairs will continue until a heavy
storm fills up the Schuylkill.
A PB0LI7IC BIDING WHIP.
History of the First Willow Sprout Planted
In Belmont County.
Bellaire, July 23. Special. The mother
of Colonel J. F. Cbarleswortb, a veteran of
tho war whoso body was shot through, bnt
who is an aotive lawyer of St. Clairsville, O.,
brought the first willow sprout ever planted
in this county.
Away back in the early 20's, she came with
a band of pioneers from JIarylanU. Being
young she rode horseback, and for a riding
whip she carried a small withe, cut from a
willow that overhung the spring at her
Maryland home. The Marylandors settled
in this vicinity, and tho willow wand was
stuck in the ground. It grew and from it
sprung a numerous and beautiful progeny.
C0UBTED TO MADNESS,
It
Is Believed a New Haven Girl Has
Drowned Herself to Escape a Lover.
New Havex, July 23. , Specah Mary
Burkhardt, 23 years old, the daughter of a
machinist, has been made Insane by the
Jiressuroof an ardent lover's suit. He lives
n Boston, and learning that he was to call
to-day she left home about 1 o'clock this
morning, clad in nothing but her light dress,
and it Is feared that she has drowned herself
in Mill river.
Men are now at work dragging the river.
Her parents so strongly urged her to wed
the man whom she disliked, that it drove
her mad.
WHITE DREW AND WON.
Ins nomination is simply the best that
could be made. President White represents
the highest typo of an American statesman.
The administration honors itself by honor
ing him. Buffalo Express.
Andrew D.White, nominated yesterday to
the vacant Eussion, mission is admirably
fitted in every way for the position. He Is
a man of very broad culture and ot valua
ble experience in the diplomatic service
ATew York World.
The nomination of Andrew D. White, of
New Tork, as Minister to Rnssia to succeed
Charles Emory Smith, is a choice that will
satisfy tho people of the United States nnd,
we do not douDt, the Government of Russia.
Philadelphia Record.
He Is one of the best examples in Amer i
can lite of the union of flue scholarship with
large political talent in the highest sense.
The appointment of a man of his rank and
qualifications is a Just recognition of what
is dae to our connection with Russia. Phil
adelphia Press,
Presides? Harrison has acted with his
usual prudence and patriotism in naming
Andrew Diokson White as United States
Minister to Russia. As a scholar, a leader of
the best political thought, a diplomat and
an American citizen Mr. White has won the
unfeigned respeot of his fellowmen. New
York Press.
The appointineatof Hon. Andrew "D.White
as Minlstor to Russia is truly admirable.
There is not a better-eqlpped man for the
place in the country. He is one of the best
types of American manhood, and his whole
career has been of almost unparalleled use
fulness to education, literature and good
government. Baltimore American.
Minister White will carry with him to
the Old World the good wishes of his fellow
citizens, irrespective of party. They are
confident that he will maintain, in the per
formance of the duties, the reputation he
has long enjoyed as an efficient and high
minded representative of American scholar
ship and statesmanship. Brooklyn Eagle.
The appointmont of Andrew D. White as
the United States Minister to Rnssia, to suc
ceed Hon. Charles Emory Smith, is another
of those singularly fit selections of men for
official preferment, in which there is a close
correspondence between tho talents and
capabilities of tho appointee and the re
quirements of the position to which ho is
called. Toledo Blade.
England's Gain, America's Loss.
St. Louis Globe-Democrat. 1
England is pretty busy with politics of its
own just now, yet the English papers find
time to mention G rover Clevoland favorably
nearly every day, and to hope ho will bo
elected.
No Need of Refrigerators.
New York Press.
The managers of the People's party in
Indiana have lormally Opened their cam
paign in that State. The night after they
did so thero was frost in many localities.
DEATHS HERE AND ELSEWHERE.
Mother Caroline, Milwaukee.
Mother Caroline. Mother Superior of No
tre Dame and Commissary General of the order In
America, died at Notre Dame Convent. Milwau
kee, Friday. She was born In 18U near Paris,
France. Her death was tho result of lung
troubles. Mother Caroline came to America in
1817, when M years old, and assisted In rounding
the Order Notre Dame In this country. Since 1870
she has been Its head. Late In ISM she located In
Milwaukee, the mother convent or the order, and
she has resided Ihere ever since.
. Obituary Notes.
SIRS. ELIZA FRITZINs. or Braddock, died Fri
day. She was 77 years old and had lived all her
life In Braddock: she owned a large estate In a
Soodportlon of ihc town which she would never
lvlde. She was the mother of Q. 15., Cal. sad
William Frltzuu,
ME ART OF GROWING OLD.
To grow old gracefully is to run a big hill
with your druggist, who simplifies the mat
ter by having many and conflicting articles
all of which are the very best. Occasionally
you ar the beneficiary, but, too often, in
stead, you become a victim. Live and learn
you would like to modernize into "Die you
must if learn you would." What has revolu
tionized the world of the toilet more than
the word "manionret"
A quarter of a century ago a pair of scissors
and a nailbrush formed a luxurious outfit
for tbe nails, and to-day it would require a
trunk to contain all that has been invented
for their use. The file has put tbe scissors'
nose out of joint, for they play but an unim
portant, though "a punster might say a
pointed part in the preparation which has
made the nails take so brilliant a place in
society. Though reduced to a secondary
rank, the scissors are multitudinous. A hard
nail requires a special form of scissors, sim
ilarly a soft, an oval nnd a flat nail. Scissors
of varying sizes are made for nails of various
ages. Then there is the buffer, the orange
wood stick, the pointed pick, tbe concave
piok, the pad, paint, powder, and a dozen
other things, the outgrowth of neonle's own
observation, and likes and dislikes.
As Dear as Woman's Tears.
The dearest possession now of man or
woman appears to be their nail file, which
attained to that position from the day it was
first realized nails wero a part of the hand
not Intended to be kept soiled. There are
nearly as many sorts of files as there are
varieties of soissors, and the purchaser of
these last probably still remembers the ap
pallng collection laid bofore him. There are
files from an inch long on the sldo of a pair
of scissors to ones nearly a foot long. Files
for the top of the nail, for under the nail,
for the side of the nail, files or every form
that the insrennltv of man can make or his
imagination invent. I was leaning over a
tray containing perhaps some 60 varieties
talking about them to Mr. Martsolf, when a
gentleman, a prominent man, sighted ns.
Out came his file, a superb piece of ivory
into the center of which was imbedded a
flnely finished steel file. He fingered it
lovingly, questioning meanwhile. "Why
don't you have something like this? It only
wants one thing to make it porfect," and he
ran his finger along the edzo. "There should
be a groove hero containing a file which
would hold the nail in place during use.
Then he stowed It away as tenderly in his
pocket as if he were handling a meerschaum
pipe.
Toothbrushes of the Present Day.
Soma women think more of their con
sciences than of their hairbrushes, which is
to break the modern decalogue, "for it is not
a bit more decent to lend (or borrow) a hair
brush than a toothbrush. There's a new
brush on tbe market, which at flrst blush is
wonderfully like "that terrible steel brush
that reigned for some years and ruined more
hair almost than did bad care. You can see
every bristle in this brush, as they are con
siderably apart nnd set into an air cushion
base, wbioh gives way during the process of
brushing and thus prevents the bristles
from Injuring the tender scalp. It is never
washed, only wiped, and that reminds us of
a recelpe.
The ordinary brush requires washing,
which usually has the effect of softening tbe
bristle, if not of spoiling it entirely. Obviate
this by putting a tablespoontul of salt of
tartar into a pint of water and dipping the
bristles only. Wash a brush with a brush.
Put to a lather nnd rinse In cold water.
When the back of a wooden brush gro7S dull
and loses its polisb, mix three to five drops
of sulphuric acid into an ounce of water and
rub into the brush with tbe hand, when all
its former glitter will return.
Law and Order or Powderlns.
The world used to say that all American
women powdered just as they say now that
she smokes cigarettes. In tbe old days thero
was a bottle stuck in some corner of her
bedroom with a more or less soiled stiff rag
hanging on tho cork, which was called into
service just before a start was made for a
shopping or calling tour. It was a sort of a
wipe and a promise, and tho sevices of
several good-natured women friends
were roquired along tho nt:y to re
move the extraneous lumps of dried powder
which would natuially be caught in promi
nent parts of the lace or sunk into the pet
dimples. But to-day to make up a face
properly is to master an art, having elemen
tary rules as exact as those of a science.
Perhaps a woman's glass tells her nature
was not as lavish as it might have been, or
tho information may come from equally
frank friends. At any rata she is either en
gaged in a Inlr encounter with nature or in
a war of lortineatton against time's siege.
The old white powder has been superseded
by brunette powder, blonde powder nnd
natural complexion powder, all of which ure
used by direction of tho druggist, who tell
tbe expeotant fair one exactly what powder
will give a fair imitation of what has been
or shonld be. Tho eyebrow pencil over
comes deficiencies in the eyebrows and only
a trained eye can detect the assumption of
reality.
Necessity of Fowder and Paint.
Sometimes there is an enforced use of
powder and paint. A carriage drove up to
the door of a drag store in the East End
recently from which the coachman
alighted, entered the store, nnd re
quested the proprietor to come out
and speak to "his lady" The gentleman
was confronted with a view into the vehicle
from which every bit of light was excluded
by the blinds, excepting a little rift enter
ing through the slightly open door. Here
the lady's head appeared and she explained
that ohe wanted several paints and powders
to render an exceedingly unsightlylooklng
eye presentnblo. Had an accident, she
explained. Tho paints and powders were
produced, nnd the lady, by the aid of a small
hand glass fished from a convenient pocket
in tho carriage, proceeded to "doctor" tho
bruised and swollen part. More than likely
it was not tho first time she had been the
victim of an "accident," for when tho drug
gist returned to the carriage In a quarter ot
an hour, every blind was raised to Its fall
extent, the pitiless summer sunlight was
streaming in and though it rested almost ex
actly on that made-up eye, the family skele
ton was as safe for the tlmo as if It were
bnrled.
Known by Toot Toothpick.
Don't use toothpicks, but since yon will
then uso only one kind, which must neither
be of gold or silver. The proper toothpick
is of Japanese make, (for some reason they
nearly all are), and is a flexible strip of
orange wood flattened at one end precisely
like a chisel and sharp pointed at the other.
Any other will in time ruin the tooth, for
right and proper explanation of which
question your dentist or your druggist.
Manufacturers of soap are not a unit on
what makes perfect this very necessary
toilet adjunct. Each man believes in his
own soap as no has faltb,privately,in his own
salvation. One of the modestest of
these, says: "Rankin's is not the only
pure soap; but is one of tho
very few pure soaDS offered to
tho public. Another cleverly Intimates that
In the use of soaps that are not of his manu
facture, "tbe mischief proceeds until too
often the beauty of the complexion Is mined
nnd even the general health is impaired."
Another commends his soap ns not being
perfumed, while a delicate, refreshing odor
is proofpositive or tbe good qualities of a
third. Thrlftiness is catored to by a canny
Scotchman, who recommends his soup, like
a shoemaker does his boots, for durability.
A druggist warns: "You may like perfumes.
but don't take them in the form of soap. A
soap that is soothing to tho skin is all that
can be commended, then complexion beau
tlfiers aro frauds and follies.
"1 think," said a druggist, "that women
are really more cleanly than men consider
ing. Mon have mucb, nearly everything, in
their favor; lor they have barbers: a mnt
tum in parvo, and their bath in tnrn; all of
which give cleanliness and a flavor of luxury
-more conducive to rrersoventupA thnn Mia
promise of a right hand position to godli
ness. iUAKION UKAWTORD UALLAUZR.
SCALPED BY LIGHTNING.
The Bolt Destroys a Woman's Tresses and
Clothing, bat She Btlll Lives.
Ottumwa, Ia., July 23. During a violent
thiinaer storm yesterday, Mrs. Alexander
Feldler, seven miles case of totvn.wos struck
by lightning, the bolt coming down the
chimney and striking her on top of the
head, burning every vestige of hair to a
crisp, tearing away part of the scalp and ex
tending down her neck and breast, tearing
tho clothing from her body.
The strange feature of the case is the fact
that the woman still lives and has a cbance
of recovory.
Indians Learning the Doodling Bnsiuess.
El Reno, Okla., July 23. Tho officers of
the Chickasaw Nation, or some of them nt
least, are imitating the white roan in some
respects. It hns just been learned that tho
nation's permit collector, H. H. McLane, Is a
defaulter in the sum of $3,500. Governor
Byrd has removed him lrom office and ap
nolnted in his tead Grave T. Chase. The
grand Jury of Pickens county indicted Me
Lane. Ho was arrested and placed under
7,000 bonds.
CURIOUS CONDENSATIONS.
Germany has a rubber street,
Paper flower pots are in demand.
A machine makes 3,0000 corkscrews
daily.
Belgium's telephones are run by the
Government.
Chicago has 40 married women public
school teachers.
An express engine consumes ten gallons
of water per mile.
Every square mile of the sea contains
120,000,000 fish of various kinds.
The tall hat worn by men first appeared
in France nearly 500 years ago.
Twenty words per minute is the aver
age at which long hand is written.
Gold mines about Nevada City are the
the deepest and richest in the world.
The only kind of frnit which does not
appear to thrive in California is the apple.
Nickel steel does not corrode in' salt
water, which fact is of great virtue to ship
plates.
A Bussian can plead infancy for a long
time, as ne does not come of age until 23
years old.
Two little islands, Zanzibar and Femba,
furnish four-fifths of the cloves consumed
by the world.
It is estimated that fully two-thirds of
the whole amount of publio money held by
the London hanks does not bear interest.
The largest and longest stone bridge in
the world is over an arm of the China Sea,
5 miles long, 300 arches, each 70 feet high.
One million three hundred thousand
pounds' worth of pickles and sauces are
exported from England to other countries
yearly.
There are 51,400,000,000 in gold in cir
culation throughout tbe world, and good
authority asserts that $1,000,000 of it is lost
annually by wear.
More than a fourth of the gold and mora
than a third of tho silver produced through
out the wo rid in the year 1S91 was mined in
the United States.
The highest viaduct in the world has
Just been erected in Bolivia ovor tho river
Lea, 9.S33 feet above tbe sea level and 4,003
feet above the river.
A pneumatic tube connects Paris with
Berlin. It is used for postal purposes, and
makes It possible fora lettermalled in Paris
to be delivered in Berlin in 5 minutes.
At Placentia Bay, Newfoundland, alone
1,200 men and women aro employed in tbe
lobster Industry. Five million is tne annual
catch, which represents $1S0.000 m value.
San Francisco has an earthquake, proof
hotel. It is constructed of iron and in tha
form of two hollow sanares. one within tho
otber, arranged so as to brace each other.
Denmark has a system of benevolence
by which tho honest poor of 60 years of age
are insured against want. It is on tbe pre
sumption that they have always paid taxes.
Ecent improvements in photographio
plates have been so great as to make ir possi
ble to take aconrate photographs of a rifle
ball traveling at the rate of 3,000 feot &
second,
A substitute for honey has been intro
duced in Germany under the name of sugar
honey, and consists of inverted sugar, water,
minute amounts of mlnoral substances a nd
free acid.
The crops on Prince Edward Island are
being devastated by a plague of potato bugs
and. turnip flies. In several districts tbe.
damage is so great that the farmers-are sow
ing turnips again.
A Spanish lady ha3 succeeded in crossing;
the Andes in a carriage, a distance of 30a
miles. Tbe journey was completed in 11
days, though nearly a mile of tho road had
to be built for her use.
The "Welsh prefix "Aber" signifies
"the mouth of a rivor" Abordovey, for in
stance; and "Llan," "a church" Llandudno,
the church of fct. Tudno; Llanbedr, the
Church of St. Peter, etc.
The Brazil nut contains from 15 to 21
seeds, which all germinate at one time. Tbe
most vigorous one gots first through a small
hole at the top to the open air, and there
upon it strangles and feeds upon the rest.
The Earl of Airlie has sold his estate of
Clnnie. lnPerthshire, for $170,000 to Mr. Cox,
ofShaigon. Tbe property Inolndes tbe Loch
of Clunie, in the center of which isan island,
said to havo been tho' birthplace of Ad
mirable Crichton.
"With the opening np of the world by
railway and steamship communication tha
demand for diamonds has Increased mar
velonsly. The world now purchases about
$25,000,00) worth per annum. Twenty years
ago the amount was about 500,000 sterling.
The Austrian Emperor, in order to ac
knowledge a singular display of loyalty,
accepted the sum of 5 florins, equal to about
$2. which had been bequeathed to His Majes
ty by a poor peasant recently deceased in
the Austrian province of Caruiola.
A plug of tobacco, by its moisture and
softness, will indicate the approach of a
storm, a loose window cord will tighten np
jnst before a rain, and a pair of gloves, or
dinarily tight on the hands, will become
almost baggy on tho approach of bad
weather.
The growth of the United States Patent
Office has been very remarkable. In 1790
three patents were issued; 100 years later tho
number was 26,292. Tho total number of
patents granted during the 100 years was
4S3.944, or an average of nearly 13 patents for
every day.
The Escnrial Palace contains a cathe
dral, a monastery with 200 cells, two col-v
leges, three chapter houses, three libraries
and nearly 3,000 other rooms. It is lighted
by 1,100 outer and 1,700 inner windows, and
has been fitly termed tho eighth wonder of
the world.
Currents of water serve to a vast extent
tbe purpose of distributing seeds. Walnut,
butternut and pecan trees aro found close
to streams, whore they drop their nuts into
the passing flood, to be carried far away and
start other groves perhaps hundreds of
miles distant. Tree seeds of many sorts ara
carried by oceanic currents.
METER AND MIRTn.
"So yon want to work for ns this cam
palgn?" asked the political manager of the appli
cant. "Yes." responded he. "I'm sure I'd be a great
access."
'Pardon me, but you seem Incapacitated for the
active service required. Yon have but one leg."
"So much the better. Think how weU I could
stump the State 1"
.Bat the boss had lied. Faltimore yews.
Dedude That man called me a liar, acad,
a scouadrel and a puppy. Would you advise me ta
fight for that?
Old gent By all means. There's nothing nobler
In this world, young man, than fighting for the
truth. Detroit Free Press.
Doctor There is only one thing ails your
horse. He doesn't get enough exercise.
Owner Why. I board him at a riding academy.
Sew Jork Evening Sun.
ETERNAL PROBLEMS.
"Why, O why will a chubby man.
With a face like a chimpanzee.
Insist on dressing as loud as be can
And pose for all to see?
Why, O why will a pretty girl.
With a light and fluffy bang.
Smilingly part her teeth of pearl
To emit a flood of slaug?
Why. O why will a woman fair.
On hailing a cable car.
Pass empty seats with a haughty air
To sit where the smokers are?
Chicazo Sacs-Recent.
"I see," said the dentist, "that you have
a full set of teeth."
"No. " replied the customer, "what I camefor
was to have you flU some of 'em. " Washington
Star.
Orator Gentlemen, I have slept on the
top of Mount Vesuvius: I have swam the length
aud breadth of the Dead Sea; 1 have penetrated the
cloudy firmament for miles; I have walked across
old ocean on a tight rope Cgasplng; I have stood
Crowd-Hear, hear.
Orator Greater than all, gentlemen, I have stood
on a little scraggy pair, with a wager of I10.COO.000
and won the empire of Uohemlana. Srooktya
Eagle.
"Johnny," said his mother, "if you don't
quit smoking cigarettes you won't grow a bit."
"Don't care if I don't, " responded Johnny, sul
lenly. "And,of course." con tinned the good woman, "ir
yon don't get any blitger yon will still have to wear
clothes made from your father's old ones. "
I "I guess I'll quit, ma, "IndianapotU fmrnaty
s. -K