l THE PITTSBURG DISPATCH, .SUNDAY. MAT 22. 1892. (jeSigpfrlj. ESTABLISHED FEBRUARY 8, 188 Vol. 47. No. 105 Entered at Pittsburg Portofflee ovember. 1S37, as second-class matter. Business Office Corner Smithfield and Diamond Streets. News Rooms and Publishing House 7S and So Diamond Street, in New Dispatch Building. t;tft: AnvFRnsixa office, iioom r TIUnCNEBl II DINfi. NEW YORK, where com pute 81e ofTIinDlsPATCIIcaii always be tound. Foreign idTcrtlers appreciate the conrenlence. Home ad enters and friends of! UK DISPATCH, -bIleinNcn ork, arc also made welcome. TnFnrsriTCHt' TtoulariycnsaUat Brentmu't. firnionSgare. Vro lor), and u Ave deVOptra. Fans Fnncf. ichrre anyone icho has been disap pointed at a hotel news stand can obtain it. rums or the oispatcii. rOTARE FREE IV THE UNITED STATES. mm KisrATCH. Due Year 8 00 Daili DisrvTCH, Per Quarter , 100 4IL Dir-ATrH, One Month TO I)IL liiPATCH. Including Sunaav. 1 year.. 10 00 1)A1L1 llisrvrcii, including Sunday, Sm'ths. ISO DtiLi Dispatch. Including Sunday, lm'th.. 90 ErvDAi l)iPATCIt, One Yar 2 SO "U'EEM.1 IHrATrit. One Year IIS The IIaili Dispatch Is delivered by carriers at 35 ccms per wceV, or. Including Sunday Edition, at 10 cents per - ecW. This i-sue or THE DISrATCII contain! C4 pages, malo up of THREE PARTS I allure on tlio part of Carriers, Agents, NrvtMlcalcrs orXensbojs to supply patrons nith a Complete Number should be prompt ly reported to this office. Voluntary contributors should hecp copies of crltclet. If compensation is desired Vie price eipeclcd must Le named. The courtesy of re lurninq reieclcd manuscripts will be extended uhen stamps for that purpose are inclosed, but the Editor of The Disvvrcn mil under no cir cumstances be responsible for the care of unsolic ited manuscript. POSTAGE All persons who mail the Snnilaj issuo of The Dispatch to friends should bear in mind the fact that the post age thereon is Two (2) Cent. All doable nnd triplo nnmber copies of The Dispatch require a 2-cent stamp to Insure prompt clclnery. l'lTTsBUl'.G. SUNDAY. MAYS. 1S3Z. 1niCH IS THE TRETn? The hearing hi the equity suit of the in dependent contractors against the mem bers of the Uuilders' Exchange j esterday, brought out two radically differing state ments. The question which of these state ments is true determines the legality or illegality of the acts of the Exchange. On the part of the complainants, affida vits arc made of various cases in which, it is stated, refusals to furnish materials were based clearly and avowedly on the fact that the complainants were not mem bers of the Exchange. On the other hand, respondents reply with affidavits to the effect that the Exchange does not require members to refuse material to outsiders, and that sales are made to buyers outside the Exchange. The decision of the suit thus resolves itself down to the question which of these statements is correct. But. as a public matter, there is another thing to be said. The Dispatch has frequently pointed out to the members of the Builders' Exchange that if they were not, as reported, oper ating a combination to restrict the natural righ of eery citizen to buy material they should take an early opportunity to cor- recX-these -jrj,orts. Tiicir answer shows that the now recognize that such a boy colt as the w ere credited with maintain ing cannot be justified before the law. Yet the fact is that they have for some time permitted publications, apparently on their authority, to the effect that they were enforcing exactly that boycott, to stand without the slightest contradiction. If these reports were untrue they should have been authoritath cly and emphatically denied long ago. The question cannot fail to suggest itself whether the Exchange permitted them to stand in order to gain the lever of a reputation for enforcing its orders by illegal means, or whether the case is misrepresented in their answer be fore the courts. a ead day ron mcclcre. The Court's action j esterday in uphold ing the jury's verdict and insisting on Mc Clurc's payment of costs, while it was no more than was to be expected, emphasized the fact that his partial acquittal was due rather to lecal technicalities than to moral innocence of the charge on which he was tried Tins blow at McClure and his crooked systems was still further strength ened by the reversal of several of Alder man Robe's decisions against newsdealers, when the cases came up on appeal before Judces Collier and Slagle. Public opinion is most emphatically op posed to both the aims and the methods employed by the Law and Order Society in these cases, and such utter disregard of the people's wishes and sense of right is distinctly contrary to public policy TI1E CHANGE OF nATTON. The attitude taken j esterday by ex Postmaster General Frank Hatton in his "Washington paper in regard to the ambi tion of Secretary Blaine and his probable willingness to accept an unanimous nom ination is remarkable for two reasons. In the first place it indicates a desire to encourage the candidacy of Mr. Blame. Tins is in striking variance with the bitter attacks made bj Mr. Hatton's paper on the Secretary dunng the high tide of the Chilean imbroglio. At that time Mr. Blaine was charged with being a tool of ex-Mayor Grace and the nitrate ring and a direct snub was given to any sort of Blame boom whateer. Of late Mr. Hatton has turned against Mr. Harrison and has endeavored to congeal his icmess still further. There was a time w hen Mr. Hatton's Post was regarded as the orean of the Administration and it was ecn charged that the President smote the Secretary through this medium. Mr. Hatton as a gymnast has succeeded Mr. Hatton as a Jeremiah. All this is significant, because as a poli tician the Washington editor is admittedly shrewd and well-informed and his closest friends are still sufficiently near to Presi dent Harrison to be considered his ablest champions in the renomination contest THE TROSPECT FOR HOME RCEE. Tiie announcement that the English Cabinet has fixed June 20 for the dissolu tion of Parliament indicates that the issue of Home Rule, which was fought nearly ee en years ago, will be tried over again in the lattpr half of this year. It has been evident for about a j ear that the Salisbury ministry was awaiting some turn in foreign affairs which would enable it to appeal to the pride of the British people, and thus put the domestic issue in the background. There has been no gaiu by the delay, in that direction, however; and the ministry have evidently percehed that to prolong the spectacle of holding on to office until the last gasp will inflict more injury on them than any gain that they can possibly hope for. It has been evident from the by-elections of the pist year that a decided change has come over English public sentiment on the question of Home Rule since the elec tion of 18S6. In that year the proposition suffered wreck against the prejudices of the English middle class. Every year since then a broader and clearer view of the subject has been gained. Every local election has shown the effect of discussion of the Issue. While the exact results may be a matter of dispute, it is evident that the most imminent peril to the final tri umph of Home Rule Is in the division of the Irish party. The continued spectacle of a factional fight among the Home Rulers will furnish a handle to their ene mies that nothing else can give. The Irish members should understand that their own quarrels are now the most dan gerous element to their own cause. The prospect of the Parliamentary elec tion should force the Home Rule members to drop their personal disputes and come together on the platform of Ireland's wel fare. It would be a dark record If Ire land's own representatives should throw away the chance of victory. riTTsnURG'S MANUFACTURING RANK. Mr. Swank's report on iron and steel production for 1891, which has just reached us in its complete form, have an in teresting bearing on the relation of the iron production of Allegheny county to the rest of the country. The figures of production for the whole United States, show ing a falling off in pig iron, steel and rolled iron, of about 10 per cent from the unexampled totals of 1890, have already been published. The full figures, how ever, enable us to make a comparison of the output of Pittsburg's industries with the entire industry. In the first place, the recent talk of other iron-producing localities, notably certain pig iron d:stricts supplanting Pittsburg, is fully answered by the fact that while there was in 1891, a 10 per cent reduction in the total output of pig iron, rolled iron and steel, Pittsburg did not only hold her own; she actually increased her output of pig iron and steel Her product of pig iron in 1890 was 1,497,780 tons; In 1891, 1,635,531 tons. In steel the total for 1890 was 1,447,920 tons; for 1891 it was 1,542, 921 tons. The fact appears, therefore, that so far from being supplanted, Pitts burg's lead in pig iron and steel was marked by increase in 189L In rolled iron our total yielded to the general tendency, being decreased from 1,692,159 tons In 1890 to 1,487,070 tons m 1891. No section can equal this showing. There is something of an increase in the pig iron production of Tennessee; but no section can show the general increase of product in a year of shrinkage that is displayed in Allegheny county. The leadership of our community in the output of iron and steel and its constant increase is best illustrated by the percent ages at various periods. In 1880 Alle gheny county produced 7 per cent of the pig iron product of the country, which was about the proportion established dur ins the preceding decade. In 1885 our pig iron product increased to 11J per cent; in 1890 it was nearly 15 per cent, and last year the record of that remarkable production was beaten by turning out 17J per cent of the pig iron product of the country. In steel the increase of our importance has been even more marked. In 1880 our steel output was 16 per cent of the total; in 1885 it had swelled to 21 per cent; in 1890 it reached 30 per cent; and last year Pittsburg turned out a little more than 35 per cent of. the steel product of the coun try. A change in the method of reporting the totals of rolled iron makes it difficult to extend the comparison so far on that product; but we can state generally that Allegheny county produced about 16 per cent of the rolled iron of the country up to 1880; by 1885 her proportion had risen to 20 per cent, and in 1890 and 1891 it was about one-third. Besides this signal refutation of the Idea that any other section is displacing this community from its supremacy in iron and steel manufacturing, the increase in our proportion of output conveys in its dates another very pertinent lesson. In the years from 1874 to 1879, Pittsburg not only suffered from the general depression of the iron indus try, but also retrograded in its proportion of product. The introduction of railroad competition about 1880 started the gain in our standing which reveals its effects in the increased proportion of 1885. From that date to 1890 the natural gas era was Influential In putting our industries far in the lead. But the proportion for 1891 shows that we have kept the lead even, without natural gas. We see in this ex pansion the fact that transportation and fuel have been its greatest factors. If we can solve the fuel problem, and open water transportation to the lakes, the future may show a record of growth even more remarkable than this. UNDERGRADUATE OMNISCIENCE. Owing either to the over-stimulating in fluences of Senator Leland Stanford's im mense University in California, or to the highly fresh nature of the adolescent population of the Pacific coast, the stu dents of that seat of learning are making themselves conspicuous. Not content with the classic example of the Eastern institutions in giving exclusive glory to physical culture, they have plunged into social ethics, and have set out to overturn religion, abolish marriage, and do away with any such mediaeval and effete senti ment as respect for elders. This is, at least, the inference to be drawn from the contents of a recent Uni versity magazine which published for the delectation of the undergraduate eye a photogravure of the exceedingly French picture of a Turkish Pasha who Is making purchases for his harem. In this organ of juvenile scholasticism we are informed, on the subject of religion, that it "is a barbaric institution revised to date," and is not now "even orna mental." "The intelligent, well balanced young people of to-dav." the youthful dogmatist goes on to say, under the impression that he is speaking of himself, "are not religious; they are beyond it" Having thus given religion its coup de grace he proceeds to wipe out marriage. We are informed that "first love is a children's disease" and that "the tragedies of children change the soul in degree of depth of souL" After this, but one more superstition remains to be wiped out, which is done as follows: "We respect our elders most when we are j oung and least resemble tnem; we re spect them least when we are older and more like them." The freshman who produced this yawp justified his title. After he reaches the rank of "wise fool" in the second year of college life, we may hope for some mitiga tion of his vernal buraptlousneAs; and a lurking doubt may appear ii his pro nouncement on .social institutions whether he knows so much more tharfall the rest of the world put together. The display of callow dogmatism indicates that either the scholastic atmosphere of the Stanford Uni versity la of unique composition or else that there is a crying need for moral as well as mental discipline among the youth of California. From the fact that the faculty are re ported to be horrified at this outbreak, wo are permitted to infer that it is the latter. It is to be hoped that the educators will not rest satisfied with being horrified. If these half-fledged destroyers of the social status had been In the hands of the edu cators of the past generation, they would shortly hava perceived the wisdom of humility witli regard to then: own omnis cience. OED BRIDGE JOBS. The idiosyncrasies of special legislation are strikingly illustrated by an examina tion into the acts chartering and amend ing the charters of the Smithfield and Tenth street bridges over the Monongahela river, summarized in an article elsewhere. It is shown by this examination that m the case of both these bridges the intent of the legislation was that they should event ually become free. Throughout a long series of acts bearing on the organization of the companies, extending the time for the construction of then: bridges and auth orizing the issue of securities, the object was kept steadily in view of ultimately re leasing them from tolls. Indeed, the pro visions of one act warrant the inquiry whether $50,000 of State funds was or was not invested in the Smithfield street bridge for the forwarding of the same purpose. There is no question that if the provisions of the original charters had been carried out in good faith, those bridges would be public property to-day. But In addition to the well-known cor porate devices for preventing a public sinking fund from accruing, the resort to special legislation was especially effective. During the period when the Pennsylvania Legislature furnished special acts to order, measures were obtained simply repealing the provisions for exemption from tolls. Nothing was offered as a substitute for the public interest in the bridges so taken away. No excuse appears for the nega tion of the settled condition of the acts under which the bridge companies had re ceived their privileges. The people who now urge the necessity of free bridges may discover in this record what might new exist in that line if they had In the past elected representatives who were more careful to serve the inter ests of the people. CENSES KEVEEITIONS. Testerday's proceedings before the Cen sus Investigating Committee continued the revelation of a mismanagement that has rendered the statistics gathered ut terly unreliable. It is bad enough that public money should be thrown away wholesale In an effort to extract informa tion on useless subjects owing to a for eigner's ignorance. It is worse still that the tactics used to manufacture statistics should be shown to be such as to remove all possibility of faith therein. The census under proper administration would have been an invaluable source of information on matters of national im portance. Under the conditions which are being exposed more clearly every day It has been made simply an outlay for the waste of national funds, and Its results are fit for nothing but the waste basket. The whole performance is a discredit not only to those directly responsible, but to the nation which permitted it AN UNWARRANTABLE PROPOSITION. Governor Flower, of New York, has signed a bill providing that men drafted for service in time of war shall be entitled to a repayment of the money they ex pended in procuring substitutes. This proposition Is contrary to public policy and should receive universal condemna tion. Every impartial observer of the war knows that the policy of allowing men of means to hire substitutes was a bad one. A large share of the recruits thus obtained was of low character, and it was the testi mony of every camp of instruction that the reinforcements obtained after this provision went into effect depreciated fifty per cent in reliability. Beyond that the principle was of a vicious character. It meant simply that persons of means enough to hire substitutes should he per mitted to escape the duty of military service in defense of the country which ought to be imposed on all alike. It was recognized here at the close of the war, as it is recognized in every country which depends on conscription for efficient mili tary organization, that there should be no purchase of exemption from military duty. But the viciousness of that policy is in creased ten-fold by the proposition that the men who purchased this exemption shall now receive their money back. The money was not expended for public bene fit It was paid to relieve the payers from the duty imposed on them of defending the Government in its time of need. That they could escape that duty by the pay ment of money was an obnoxious class privilege; that they should get back the money paid for their own benefit would be simply a job. It is reported that Gov ernor Flower signed this bill in pursuance of an ante-election bargain by which he got the votes of 15,000 of the people bene fited by it. If this is true it i3 an arrant case of purchasing votes with public money. Two victories in succession failed to break the force of habit, and our playeis suffered defeat once again in Chicago yes teiday. F. A. Bancroit complained of the ab sence of published reasons for his trans ference from the position of Librauan to the State Depal tment to the Counsulship of Brunswick. Theresu't is a most scathintr letter from Blaine and a request that his nomination for the Consulship should ho withdrawn. Mr. Banciott is probably now in a fit mood to sympathize with the pariot that was sorry it spoke. Flower's boom is outgrowing Its strength, and it will be wilted beforo it reaches maturity and blossoms in a nomina tion. HARRISON'S request that Cabinet minis ters and other high Federal officials shall bo conspicuous uy their absence, at Minneap olis may bo taken as an indication that he desires to avoid all appearance of evil rather than as an expression of his wish to abstain fiom the evil itself. McCltjbe Is suffering from a rapid de cline, and is a fit objeoc for a pity strongly flavored with contempt. Very various explanations are offered as the motives lor Lord Salisbury's sensational speech. But it remains inexplicable, and the only thing certain about it is that he will lose rather than gain strength by it in the approaching general election. With a much further continuance of this weather straw hats will bo sold cheap us slightly shop worn. From some passages in his book dealing with wauld-he rival nuIlta'A it nnnenra tfint Sullivan's pen can suite nearly as hard as his big right arm. His literary style Is mora remarkable for force than elegance. Efficient hose pipes are the first neces sary for strengthening the Fire Department. When the annoyances of bootblacks have been banished from the sti eets, some notice might be taken of the adult loafers who impede pedestrians, when they do not force them into the gutter. There is no total eclipse of, the snn scheduled to signalize Tuesday's execution. It is rather difficult to understand the logio of a mother who describes her husband as "both a madman and a drunkard" and yet hopes that His life may be spared for the sake of her children. The fair sex should feel quit at home among the World's Fair exhibits. The repulse of a mob of would-be lynch, ers by the police at Nashville, Tenn., re flects credit on the victors. Such armed re sistance to Ian less outbreaks should be more, frequent. The public soon see player with a glass arm. through a ball When payment of costs devolves on them Law and Order people may gradually awake to a realization of the fact that per secutions are somewhat expensive. Hrxis magnetism appears kind which repels. to be of the By announcing June 20 as the date for the dissolution of Parliament, the Tory Government or England appears to be seek ing to make virtue of necessity. Young men should learn to swim before going West. The relay bicycle raco emphasizes the necessity for relaying most of the roads rid den over. Some of them would have to be newlayed rather than relayed. PERSONAL POINTERS. Prof. Child, of Harvard, is the foremost American authority on the English lan guage. The one hundred nnd forty-second anni versary of the birth of Stephen Glrard was celebrated at Girard College, Philadelphia, Friday. Governor Chase, of Indiana, is a preacher as well as a politician, and kisses moie babies every year than any other man in the State. Thursday, May 6, was the anniversary of the birth of the "ex-Empress Eugenie and of the death of Napoleon I. Eugenie is now 66 years old, and Napoleon has been dead 71 years. Dr. Fithian, of New Jersey, seems to carry the banner as the oldest Freemason, and Samuel Foreman, of Greensburg, Ind., is said to bo the oldest Odd Fellow west of the Alleghenies. Prop. Robert Ellis Thompson, D. D., of the University of Pennsylvania, has been offered the Presidency of Lake Foreat Uni versity in Illinois, but it is understood he will decline the offer. Porfirio Diaz has already been thrice elected President of Mexico, in 1876, in 1884 and in 1833. He is about to be elected again, and does not hold out any encouragement to anyone to run in 1S96. The late Historian Freeman had a great liking for architectural sketches, and nt his death had accumulated a large collection of drawings made by himself of notable build ings in En-land and on the Continent. The Emperor William is to sail his yacht, the Meteor, in the contest for the Queen's cup at Cowes next August. The Meteor was once the celebrated Thistle which came over here to win the America cup. Justice Lamar's favorite novel is "The Thieo Guardsmen," and he occasionally re re ds It tvith keen interest. This was also one of the novels Conkling liked to l cad, and he was also fond of Ouida. Mayor Grant, of New York, would not attract great attention in a crowd. He is of medium height, he has a medium length of dark brown beard and mustache, and he has features of the American type. ONE OF THE SAY DBEAMB, Difficulties That stand In the Way of Con veying Electrical Power. Detroit News. Tho twentieth century is about to dawn on the world, and still Niagara Falls have not been "utilized." This is one of the dis apointments of science. The hope was born almost to years ago that the Niagara water power could be made useful to the whole Yankee nation. When it became known that electricity could be made a means for the transmission of mechanical, power, and when it was well established that mechan ical power was easily transmissible into electricity, the conclusion was hastily lumped at that a great center like Niagara was also to become the center of industrial power. That a great mistake hasbeen made is proved bv the fact that Niagara and other great waterfalls still continue In a state of nature, unused by tho cunning of man. There is much talk, even in this month of May, 1892. to the same effect, and the newspa pers aio telling the wonderful things that Niagara Falls are going to do. It Is safe to say that Niagara and all other greater water powers of the world will con tinue to waste their strength as they have done in the past. The hope of a wide diffu sion of mechanical power by means of elec tiicityliesina fundamental misconception of the laws of electricity. The common idea is that electricity's first law is that of mn nlnr, as water runs downhill. On thecon tiary, electricity fs as sluggish as water and has to be lorced from one place to another. The common Idea is that if you place elec tricity on a copper wire, It will at once start off and never stop until It is intercepted by some uncongenial elements. Tne majority of people think that if the (alls of Niagara would only convert their power into electricity, that electrical energy could be tapped from Maine to Texas as if it wore a ;ieservotr in the clouds. Not so. Electilcityhastobepumped from one place to another by the expend!- tme of poner. The difficulty of getting electricity from Niagara to New York City is the same as that of getting water from Caiio to the beait of Sahara. Theoretically, both aie possible: practically.the machinery does not exist to periorm the work. An electrical dynamo is a pump. It peiforms only the work that it has thestiength to peifoim. Ifoverstiained.it breaks, bursts or bums out. Let us hear no luoieof the utilization of Niagara Falls for the diffusion of mechanical energy. The thing Is imprac ticable. It takes power to transmit power. When the gun is invented that can with stand the attain of shooting around the woild, the time will have come to hope for a dynamo that will shoot clcctiicity iiom Niagara Falls to San Francisco. GEEW FAT IN IIS GRAVE, A Little Toad, Entombed Four Tears Ago, yiops Ont a Monster in Size. Beavkk Falls, May 21. Special There is on exhibition at the drug stoie of Dr. Bruce a curiosity in the shape of. a monster toad, ltisaslaigeasa man's two flsts. About four years ago, while workmen woie laying a btone sidewalk in front of the residence of William L. Brady, of this place, one of the workmen noticed a toad about the size of a walnut hop out of the excavation, and, with the remark that he would consign it to an eteinal grave, he placed it in a little pile qf sand and, placing a great stone flag upon it, never gave it another thought. A year alter this particular stone began to show signs of decay, and Anally cracked clean acioss. The crack began to wide until a tew days ago an apertuie was made andoutjumpedalive toad. It was lound to be of monster size, and, as already stated, was placed on exhibition. Which Belongs to the OlherT Chicago News. There is still a doubt as to whether the South Carolina Democracy belongs to the Farmers'" Alliance or the South Carolina Farmers' Alllancd belongs to thoDemoe- racy. i i THE WORLD'S GOOD FELLOWS. A Cynic Define: Them ms These Usually Bnrled at Other People's Expense A Chicago Aunty In Gotham Pathetic Life History of Three Sisters. rrnoM a staff cobbespojtpest.I "No, I'm not what is termed 'a good follow,'" sakl he, lighting another cigar alone and looking cynically upon the Broad way throng as it appears to a man on the Hoffman Honso Steps. "I am glad I'm not. That plump little gentleman in eyeglasses who Just borrowed $2 of me is one of your 'good fellows.' He used to" be credited with several hundred thousand dollars now he borrows $2 heio and there and never pays a cent back, ne owes everybody who ever had anything to do with him and has run bills at every chop house and bar in tho city where they'll stand it. He used to drink nothing but champagne and eat terra pin and canvasback. Nothing was too good for him. He played the rases, poker and faio, and tan with the fast crowd and specu lated. 1 don't believe he evor did a day's work in his life since he was aone-hoise lawyer down in Pennsylvania. He had no use for a man liko me then. "I could give you a similar story of many 'a good fellow,'" continued the cynic. "Theie's another man a handsome, smart young Princeton college man who is well known about upper Broadway. He always looks genteel and wears his slick silk hat tilted back on his head and a pair of gold rimmed glasses on a gold chain and is a mashor.' He is a polished gentleman, gets a good salary, lives at a Broadway hotel, plays pool and billiards well and talks poli tics wisely but loudly around the "art gal lery' and spends money liberally among 'good fellows.' Everybody who knows him snys he is 'a good follow' and I suppose he is. for he borrows monev of anybody who will lend it to him and has the renutatlon of never returning a cent. His best friends will caution you againstloanlnghim money. Ho is a genuine Haiold Skimpole and laugh ingly admits that he has no more Idea of money than a child. "I don't say all 'good fellows' are like these; but I dosay that all of the generally recognized 'good fellows' I ever knew are of tho same type reckless and impiovident, and, if they livo long enough, come down to the same level of financial irresponsibility. I don't say they are my ideal 'good fellows,' but they certainly are the 'good fellows' of the world at large. Tho essential qualitv of the 'good fellow' is tho ability and willing ness to spend money (his own or other peo ple's money) on everybody and everything and have lun with it. Whenever you meet a man who will not do that who takes care of his earnings and lays up money for his family or himself, and who will not bum around with a lot of loarers he will not bo known as a 'good fellow.' Be assured ot that. The 'good fellow' is not always 'beat.' but he isthAMMfttermnnanf beats until they get him sucked dry. whereupon he either reforms and ceases longer to be a good fellow, or becomes a beat himself Just asthevare beats. My definition of 'a good fellow' is a man who Is usually buried at somebody else's expense.1' The Young Man and His Gloves. The young man and his gloves come forthwith tho other green things to delight the esthetic eye and gladden the heart of metropolitan mankind. The poet hath said that man differeth from the other animils principally In bis ability to get drunk. Lot us put it in happier vein and say that it is in his ability to appreciate the young man and his gloves. There ai e other glories o f Broad waythere are other forms of loveliness to be found upon the soubrctte side of "the Straud" there are other piismatic viows of the young man. But we turn to the young man ana his gloves wlth'a peculiar feeling of quiet, pastoral pleasure something akin to what we experience in watching the new born lambs cavorting on the gioen hillsides of Cential Park. There are some plain, practical people who do not caie for lamb with the wool on, who experience nothiill ofjoy at tho slshtof the gentle awkwardness of a two-year old sheep skipping the free wool tra-la-la-loo among the buttery dan delions. To those I say, skip this paragraDh, lor tho young man and his gloves aie be yond thoir appreciation. It is leseived to the true philosophor to discover in every phase of human life some perhaps hidden beauty. The young man and his gloves aie by no means hidden, albeit benntnoiis to a. riep-i pa. His led shoes and the yellow walking stick carefully balanced fcrulo up at an angle of 45 degrees are likely to distract public- at tentionto dazzle the public eyeand razzle dazzle the public mind so that the happy combination of the vouns man and his gloves may be Jost. Sometimes the gloves are carried daintily in the samo hand that bears the mysterious stick, sometimes in the other. They aie never worn. They are in variably new. You can see upon inspection that the finders have never been stretched. They are genuine glo es, however, and aie cairied along in the same ostentatious way that a lady carries a $10 pocketbook with a car ticket in it. Beyond mere show they would appear to be of no more service to the young man than the heavy walking stick that is never touched to vulgar earth. This is a mistake. The gloves, like the yellow cane and the red shoes go to lound out the lovely external character of the end-of-tbe-century young man. They glad den the eye of the beholder nnd thus aid in making life worth living. Theio is a divine reason in everything in nature, when we look at it fiom the light point of view. If wo do not at once understand why a walk ing stick should be carried in Just that way, or why the young man should carry a new pair of gloves instead of an extra shirt or a clean collar for emoignncies, it is because it is not given to all of us to comprehend the beautiful. How Chicago Enthusiasm. Works. A friend of mine had a relative of the aunt degree from Chicago recently hore on a visit. She was over 60, but as nimble as a cricket and was never tired of comparing New York with her dear Chicago. Dear old innocent she was so proud of her native cltyl She was taken down to the Batteiy and when she saw the bay she exclaimed: "Dear me! And this Is the ocean, is it? Well, welll Lake Michigan is bigger than thisl" They took her to old Trinity, but she said they had finer churches in Chicago and told the acting deputy assistant sextou so. He was surprised. "Is this tho biggest graveyard you've got in New York?" she asked, iooking over tho ancient churchyard. They told her about Gioenwood and went over to show it to her. Old women and voung loveis are always in terested in graveyaids. She stopnod a Biooklyn horse car and told the diivershe was fiom Chicago and asked him wheie his car went to. While ho was explaining they blocked up a street for a mile, and then she took another line. She sighed and declared tho hoiso car peoplo East were not as pollto as they aie in Chicago. When they got over to Gieenwood shebsked a caidenor if ho knowwhcie any of tho Little iamilywcie buried. She once knew a person by that name who was buried in Greenwood. Al though she made a good many Inquiries of grave dicgers and other workmen, none of them could furnish her the information. To each one she said, in a soitof picliminary wav, thaf-sho vas Irom Chicago. One man said that was all light no apology was necessary. She looked over scveial acres or tombstones and finally gave it up. When they got back she tried shopping In Harlem. Ashoit haired ciil tried to sell her apiece of goods for 12 cents a j ard. "I can buy that in Chicago for 8 cents,"sho declared. "I live in Chicago and you can't fool me on good. And when they went out the short-haiied gill and the cashier and floor walker and cash gills lan out on the pavement to net another good look nt her. They went into Fulton Market and every body wanted to sell her something to eat, but sho told them she was fiom Chicago and was only looking 'iound to see what New York people ate. The buildings downtown did not impress the old Iadyiiom Chicago much. "I don't see any buildings here as big as the Itookery," she observed. "Did you ever see the Kookery?" she asked an elevator man In the Equitable. "The Rookery," says he; "what's that?" "Why, in Chicago," says she. "I livo in Chicago." "Never been there, ma'am," says he, "top floor." "Dear me! The buildings are not as high heieas they are in Chicago this Is the top floor." They thoueht they would come np town on a Broadway car and finally succeeded in stopping one. It was very much crowded. She wanted to ask the conductor something beforo she got on and began as usual "I'm from Chicago" "Chicago people tako the next car," said he, and he lang the bell and left them stand ,ing in the road. This hurt the old lady's feelings, and that night she declared she had enough of New York. Next morning she packed up and left torhor home in the settln' sun, saying that Chicago was good enough for her. She had heard a good deal about New York, but give her Chicago every time. , Sacrifice of Three Sisters. 'There are more pathetic stories of real life that aie never heard of," said Mr. Ire land.aBioadw ay bookseller, "than wereever invented by the-jnovelist or dreamed of by 'tne most imaginative idmancer of the daily prets. Some time ago I received u letter from a lady residing in the Interior, asking me to go and see her brother, who was re ported sick in an Eastside lodging house, and stating that if anything conld be done for him the expense would be gladly de frayed. I had known the family moie or less intimately for a number of years, and the young man in qnestion I knew as a handsome, cultured nentleman, somewhat scholarly, but most of the time dependent. He was one of the handsomest men I ever saw, ana his sisters always referred to him with great pride. "I found him at the nnmber designated In the letter under the care of a competent physician. But from tho latter I soon ascer tained that it was the man's last illness and that the quicker we got him out of the city the better. So as soon as we could get him on his feet I irot him a railroad ticket and sent him home, where he died shortly after ward. "Having some business out there I subse quently called upon the ladles. I was there unexpectedly and by accident brought In contact with a person I had never seen or heard of before a deformed idiot about years of age, who, I learned from the re luctant lips of the ladies was their brother. T,?.??',naacaieaforlllln privately from his childhood, refusing to allow him to be taken to an asylum. These threo girls had giown up to old maldhood, had refused to marrv, had given up all the pleasures of the world and steadfastly devoted their lives to the care of the idiot brother and the education of the handomo younger brother. The latter had died a failure, tho poor idiotic cripple still lived. In all the years I had known them they had never ut tered a word of complaint had never said a word to me of that mental and physical de formity in the back room. Just think of itl Thevhad slaved fiom morning till night to put one brother through college while nurs ing that horrible skeleton in the family closet. Praise for the handsome young col legiate, always complaint of the helpless and hopeless home burden, never! There's ; uaiis oi a story more tnninng ana more instructing than anything I ever read in a novel." A Few Questions of the Day. I want to know why all of the men of pure motives, honesty of purpose and un sullied patriotism aie always on the outside of the breastworks, and are known vulgarly as "kickers." Whether It would be any infringement on the rights of the ladies should gentlemen take up the fashion of clutching up their garments in the lear while on the street. The reason for the reportonal use of "the true facts" in making an Impressive state ment in the daily papers. If It really and truly hurts a pretty woman's feelings to be stared at when sho is out looking her best. Why policemen are suprjosed to knock down more without a club than with one. Where all the good cigars go. And whether it Is better to lie rather than hurt anybody's feelings exoept where you are liable to get licked: w e all admit that. Charles Theodore Mcboat. New York, May 21. THE PSYCHICAL C0NGBESS. A Chance to Make Clear Some of the Un explained Phenomena. Chicago Tribune.J A congress for tho Investigation of psy chical science is to be an attendant feature of tho World's Fair. It will be one of the many conventions held under the auspices of the World's Congress Auxiliary. It is expected to bring together students of hyp notism, telepathy, clairvoyance, 'material ization" of spirits, and many other subjects which the Society of Psychic Research has tried to investigate lor several years past. Some of the topics named for discussion are the connection between psychics and physics, and the bearing of psychical sci ence on human personality, particularly on the question of life in a future state. This is well enough. Let knowledge be spread and increased. If these and other psycnicai people nave any facts to offer, they cannoc choose a better time for pre senting them to the public. If they can bring before the eyes of moitals acceptable proofs of the peculiar existence and con nections In which they niofess to believe, it is thoir duty to the world as well as to them selves to let their light shine that men and women will see it. But no moie will o' the wisp array of claimed facts and principles will suffice helpfully to spread their faith among those thinking persons who do not at present accept it. Those thinkers will not incline to consider the chasing rain bows as a paying pursuit, because it is de scribed or partially conducted at the same time that Important events aie occurring in connection with the great Fair. Few intelligent people are disposed to deny that there are some phenomena con nected with so-called spiritualism that are not yet fully explained. But many or those advanced have been proven to be nothing more than Juggllngs with the senses, such as aie practiced by the professors ofprestidigi tation on tho stage, and perhaps there is loom for suspicion with regaid to tho lest. Thus far it has hardly been proven that any of the so-called manifestations which some hold are evidences of separate spirit entity are anything more substantial than dieams. Some of those "visions of the night" have Impressed themselves so forcibly on the mind as to remain with the individual foryeaisnfterward and then puzzle him to decide that they were not actual waking ex periences. It is not difficult to suppose that equally vivid and dui.iblo ideas may cross the mentality of a highly susceptible organ ism while apparently it is not wrapped in slumber, though in company with others who may neither see nor feel more than Queen Gertrude did when Hamlet thought he saw the ghost of his father stalk across the chamber. CLABKSON'S CONCLUSIONS. CnAimiAN Claiikson wisely concludes that the man who gets there first will win. Bos ton Traveler. James S. Clares os is ardently in favor of nominating Mr. Harrison after everybody else. Chicago News. Chairman Clarkso is serenoamldnlarms. He is willing to bet that the foremost hoss will come in ahead at Minneapolis on the 7th prox. Boston Ha aid. CaA'iRUAX Clarkson does not speak as one having confidence In the nomination of Mr. Hairlsonat Minneapolis. Mr. Clarkson is talking with some caution to the reporters in these trying times, but as a friend or Har rison there are tears in his voice. New York Advertiser. , Chairman Clarksos-, of the Republican National Committee, has boon closeted for several days with General Russell A. Alger at Detroit. This meiins that General James S. means to eithcrgct appointment or boodle out of the coming struggle. Chicago Globe. Mr. Clarkson sarcastically complains that he has to read the newspapers all tho timo to keep fairly posted about the anti-Harrison conspiracies in which he is engaged. It might simplify matteis and save time for Mr. Clarkson to seek his information from Mr. John C. New. Peoria J2nqmrer. General J. S. Clarkson informs tho He cordcr that, while Piesident Harrison would make an excellent candidato for tho Presi dency, Mr. Maine would mako a better one, but that General Clarkson has a peisonal candidate who is better than either Harri son or Blame or auj body else. Don't Keep us on the anxious seat too long. General, as to your candidate. Trot him out! New York Recorder. Ingratitude, Thy Name Is Water. Chicago Tribune. A Baptist church in Mississippi was swept away by the flood a few days ago. Ingrati tude, thy name is waterl Ohio Likely to Get the Nomination. St. Louis Globe-Democrat. Ohio is likely to get the Republican nom ination in any event. Harrison, Sherman and McEinley were all born in the Buckeye State. DEATHS HERE AND ELSEWHERE. Baron Rosksoerv-Lehn, Danish Minister of Foreizn Affairs, died yesterday at Copenhagen. AUGUSTUS S. Winslow, Vice-President of the First National DanK, of Cincinnati, died yester day, aged 75 ears. Georue W. Estes, the first man to play a snare drum by note, and one of the oldest musicians In the country, dkd Friday, aged 87 years. Estes officiated as drum major at the funeral of President illlam Henry Harrison in 1311. Mrs. E. C. Pullman, mother of George M. Pullman, who fur the past four days has been la an unconscious state at the BelgraTla, New York, died yesterday morning at 7 o'clock. Her daughter-in-law, Mrs. Margaret Pullman, died Friday la Baltimore. Sister SIart Catherine, of the order of Dominican Nuns, has died in the convent at Fall River, Mass . of consumption. Her name was Mary Catherine Van liuren. She was born In Con cordia, Ky., in 1SC3, and has been a member of the order lour years. Mas. MIlpeed Anx Clay, aged over.lOO years, died in Leavcaworth, Friday, she was married tirlco and was the mother of 15 children, all of whom are dead but six. Slie was born In Virginia, and went to Kansas in lS5i, where she had since re sided. Her health and memory were quite good to the last. TALK OP THE TIME. Several times since the free bridge dis cussion has been in progress there have been dark hints to the effect that there are provisions in the charters of the bridges now over the Monongahela which should be taken advantage of by the city and a free bridge thus acquired. If you will take tho trouble to look for yourself at these bridge charters and the mendments to them, yon will find that all this matter was anticipated years ago, and provided for in such a way as to make the companies hard to get at. Take, for example, the Smithfield street bridge. It was chartered In 1810 by James O'Hara, William McCandless, David Evan, Ephriam Pentland, Jacob Beltzhoover, Adamson Tannehill. Thomas Cromwell, Thomas Enochs and Dr. George Stevenson. It was known as "a company for tho erect ing of a bridge over the river Monongahola, opposite Pittsburg In the county or Alle gheny." The act mado it obligatory to give notice by publication In Pittsburg. Wash ington, "Union-town" and Greensburg of the charter; and the capital stock was fixed at $50 000 In shares of 25 each. The company was to own the bridge tor 40 years from the time of its com pletion and tnero was a "free bridge" pro viso to the effect that when the revenue from tolls exceeded 15 per cent on the cap ital stock, the excess was to be invested in briilge stock or other securities together with such donations as might be given and this to form a sinking fund to buy the bridge from the company and make it free. It tho fund was sufficient borore 40 years expired, tho stockholders were compelled to sell out at an appraised valuation. If the fund was not ademiate at the end of 40 years the Legislature was empowered to declare It free, providing at the same time for a fund for its repair and maintenance. If it was not redeomedattho period stated the com nany was to retain It until such time as it was freed. The State Becomes Part Owner. -This charter of 1810 seams to have lapsed, aor in 3816 it was re er.ated by the Legisla ture and William Wilkin", James Boss, Thomas Baird, John Thau, Pavld Pride, Philip Giiland, Oliver Orrasby, Christian Latshaw, Jacob Beltzhoover, James Brison and Samuel Dougla'slwere the new incor porators. By some sort of oper ation which does not apoear at all either directly or indirectly in tho legisla tion oDtainea prior to isis, in that year tne Commonwealth became a stockholder in tho bridge and an act was passed enabling the Governor to pay $20,000 for 160O shares of stock before the completion of the woikand an additional $20,000 when the bridge was finished. In 1S32 the Governor was authorized to subscriDe for an additional 400 shares at $25 each, provided the stockholders raised enough money to thoroughly repair tho bridge and maintain it, the sum to be satis factory to the Governor before the money should be advanced by the Commonwealth. This proviso in regard to tho raising of a mnd by the stockholders was reported the same rear it was passed. In 1871 the act for the new suspension bridge was passed and the capital stock was Increased to $500,000, the new stock proceeds to build the bridge and pay off part of an Issue of bonds authorized bv the same act. All the money on hand in the "free bridge" and other tunds was also to be used for building the bridge, nnd the whole of the section of the act of 1810, providing for free ing the bridge, either by purchase or by act of Assembly, was repealed without giving the public any return. It might be of interest to know something of tho history of tho lnvestraent.oftho Com monwealth in stock and what became of it. Original Charter for Tenth Street. The same intent to have a free bridge ultimately is seen in the legislation for what is now known as the Tenth street structure. It also got out of reach as soon as possible. it was cnarteroa in iKa, ana was to oe nn ished in six yeais. Its charter was enti tled: "An net authorizing the Governor to In corporate a company to erect a bridge over the Monongahela river at the borough of Birmingham, in the connty of Allegheny, with power to construct a turnpike road from the south end of Denman street in said borough to intersect tho Monongahela and Coil Hill turnpike road." The Incorporators were Alexander Miller, O Ormsbv Gregg, James Patterson, Jr., William Noole, R. A. Bailsman, Thomas Daft, Charles S. Bradford, Charles Phillips, C. Ihmsen, Samuel Hare, David Bosrtrs, Jr., John McClunr.James Barr, Alex. McKibben, William Price, Smuel Leonard. A. McN. Somple. Andrew Watson. James Thompson, a L. McGee, H. M. Watts, Alex. Cirna han, William Eichbaum, Thomas T. White head Samuel P.Darllngton.Wllliam O'Learv, A. II. Hershberger, David P'-eler. R. C. Townsend, David Fitzsimmons, James Pat terson, John D. Baird and John Brown. The proviso In rotation to freeing the bridge read as follows: "And provided, also, that when the tolls shall exceed 12 per cent net annual profit the excess shall compose a fund for the re demption of tho bridge, so as to render it free, save that there shall always be a small toll collectod for keeping it in repair: and if at the expiration of the 40 years aforesaid the amount of such fund shall bo fonnd ade quate to the redemption or said bridge so as todeclaielt fiee (providing at the same time for its repairs) then the said company shall be oblhred to take such sum of money therefor as shall be allowed on a fair ap praisement by disinterested persons to be chosen in such manner as directed bv law; but ir tho sail bridge snail not be redeemed and paid for as a fiee bridge at the expira tion of the said term or 40 years," the said corporation may and shall continue to hold tho same on the terms of this act beyond the said term and until the same shall he re deemed and paid for in the manner herein directed, or in some other manner, as may be directed by the Legislature." The Repeal of the Free Clause. In 1840 the charter was extended for tnree years. The charter lapsed nnd in 1S53 It was revived exactly as originally granted except that it provided for the subscription of BOO shares before work began instead of 1,000, and Samuel McKee, Patrick Mul vaney, Thomas McKee, Thomas Blackmore, James McElroy and Joseph McKnlght were incorporators, or "commissioners" as they were called. Later in the same year the turnpike end or the charter was repealed and the name of the company changed to "The President and Managers of the Bir mingham Bridso Company." It was made amendable to the general bridge act of 1&5 in April, 1853; its time was extended three yeais una seven years wciealloned for its completion. It was also provided in this act, "That so much of the tenth section of theact, to which thisisa spplement, as re fers to a period at which the said bridge shall bo declared free, be and the same is heiebv repealed." In 1857 it was taken ont of the provisions of the general act of 1855. In 1858 it was allowed to issue $3O,CO0 of preferred stock, on which 10 per cent dividends wei e tb be paid. In lf64 it was permitted to issue bonds not to exceed $50,000. and In 167 It was privileged to elect a board of U directors, a president, secretary and treasurer. In this way both of these bridges have passed beyond the methods originally intended for the benefit of the general public. P. L. W. USE TOE THE MICROPHONE As a Domestio Spy It Can Be Made Efficient nnd Dangorous. Philadelphia Times. When tho poet declared that thevery walls have ears he was taking a poetic license, but modern science has made it possible not only for walls to have ears to hear, but tongues to speak. Already it is said the Russian Government has been making in quiries of a Berlin firm in regard to invisi ble microphones suitable for prison cells, to record the utterances of occupants. If this invention can be made available it will prove a terrible blow to Anaichy. The An archist can endure imprisonment with a show of endurance, but not to bo able to talk except In the hearing of the tell-tale microphone will be a greater hardship than the pains of Siberia. The advantages of the microphone no doubt will be very great, both In and apart from its invisible uses. It may be used as a record of Important conversations without tho interposition ofeithera stenographeror typewriter, for as a matter of course it goes far beyond the present availability ot the phonozrapb. Where exact recollection of discussions and agreements becomes neces sary, it will be Indispensable. But it will in evitably bring woes as well as ues. Papa can place It behind the sofa in the parlor, and read nil the sweet nothings of George Augustus and dear Clara in the morning. In a little timo it may make talkative people's tongues a terror to their owner. As a do mestio spy, it can be made as efficient as it will he dangerous. Indeed, it is not impos sible that this new device will tarn the world topsv-turvy. It is evident that a new danger confronts humanity, and the only possible way to guard against the babbling of this talk tecorderisto compel every mi ciophone to be licensed as a speak-easy. Why It Was Named Altrr Swift. Boston Herald. The now comet travels at the rate or 500 miles a second, which is one way to explain why It Is named after Swift. CURIOUS CONDENSATIONS. Since the Franco-Prussian war Germany has spent $2,200,000,000 oa herarmyand navy. Arkansas has a rooster that still lives, though its head was cut off several weeks ago. The French "War Office has provided for tho enrollment of between 6,000 and 7.000 bicyclists in war. A woman in Stokes county, 2T. C, is cutting her third set of teeth. She Is in tho 83th year of her age. The Horse Accident Prevention Society in London reports that 1,000 horses fall upon asphalt to 500 on wood. The Germans not only sleep upon a feather bed but underneath one. The feather covering used in Germany, however, is not so large or as thick as the one which la used as a mattress. One of the largest camellia trees in Europe is now in full bloom at Pilnltz, near Dresden. It was taken from Japan 150 years ago, is 50 feet htah, and has an annual aver age ol 40,000 blossoms. According to the census of 1890, there are 15,000.000 people living In tho States and Territories lying west of the Mississippi river, almost one-fourth of the entire popu lation of the United States. It is said that a German family living ont West have in their possession a tarns fox with a beautiful bushy tall, with which the animal has been trained to dust the parlor furniture every morning. Tt appears from the official records that last year articulation was taught to no less than 4,245 pupils in American schools for tho deaf. In a largo number of these cases the Infirmity dated from birth and was inherited. One result of the May-Day dynamite scare in Paris was that the receipts of the theaters for that day were only 27,316 rrancs, whereas on the preceding Sunday they had reached 81,527 francs, the loss being 54,211 francs. The oldest hotel in Switzerland and probably the oldest in the world is the Hotel of the Three Kings, at Basle. Among its guests in 1026 were the Emperor Conrad IL, his son, Henry III. and Rudolph, the last King of Burgundy. The largest cotton crop in the Southern States prljr to the war was in I860, whoa 4.C19 770 bales were produced. In 1871itwas 4.352 317 bales. In 1891 the production reached 8,652,537 bales, and 605.631 bales of the produc tion were consumed in Southern mills. France points with pride to its Tunisian colony, where there aro now 32,000 FrenoU citizens and persons claiming French pro tection. Great results aro expected from the opening of the harbor of Tunis next year, and of Bizerta the year following. The old Virginia custom of drinking the first glass of wine standing is a survival of the custom or testing wine to show that it contained no poison. The host held his glass up to the light in tho presence of all his guests and then drank its contents as a guarantee or good faith. On the coast of the channel dough is adj ured to imitate the leaven, the miller and the baker and to rise. The oven is a sacred object and connected with crowds of superstitions. The oven is dedicated, with ceremonies; in certain places of Brittany the wood is watered wita blessed water. The cold in a cavern in France is so great, no odds how warm the external at mosphere, that the visitor cannot prolong his stay without inconvenience unless wrap ped in winter clothing. There are not less than a score of these natiral icehouses in France, and probably half as many in Italy. The Greeks were probably ignorant of the use of rings until the time of the Trojan war. Then they adopted tho custom of wearing them on the third finger of the left hand. This was to prevent the band from dishonorable action, as that finger was sup posed to be connected to the heart by a. small nerve. A few nights ago one of Eock fount's, X. C , citizens was awakened from his slum ber by hearing a pet chicken squeaking. Ha arose and found the chicken under the house with one foot part in the ground Catting around it with his penknife, he discovered a crawfish enawmg away on it. The crawfish had already devout ed one toe. A new material for paving is now being introduced In London. It is composed of grannlatcd cork and oitumen pressed Into blocks, whictt 'are laid like bricks or wood paving. The special advantage of the ma terial lies in its elasticity. When used for pavement it gives a sott tread which is ex ceedingly pleasant, recalling the feeling of a carpet. A French doctor has evolved the theory that the color and nature of the hair have an influence on the pursuits of man. Thus, ho declares that red-whiskered men have a tendency toward the race track and the hunting field; men with straight black hair are apt to feel that thev have a call to the ministry, while llj;ht-halred men are natural travelers and adventurers. One of the "finds" frequently made in old curiosity shops on the Continent, and particularly in Paris, is the cross of the Mexican order created by the ill-fated Max lmillian. As for the Insignia of Isabella the Catholic, that decoration and the military orders created by her lather Queen Isabella bestowed so generously that many unworthy people had them, and the lavish bestowal of them suggested the libretto of "La Grande Duchesse. ' There is a curious looking animal in South Africa that looks for all tho world like a piece of toast with four legs, a head, and a tail. It resembles a pussy cat about the forehead and ears, but its nose is distinctly that of a rat, while its tail is not very dissimilar to that of a fox. This strange animal is called the aardwoir. and doubtless dwells in South Africa because. Judged ny his looks, he would not be admitted into good animal society anywhere else. Sunshine is recorded at the Meteor ological Office in England by means of the Stokes Campbell Instrument, the essential feature of which Is a spherical lens, which acts as a burning glass. As the sun accom plishes its apparent Journey irom East and West it burns its autograph into a strip of card placed beneatn the lens, but can only do so when it 13 unobscured. As the card is divided into hours.it Is easy to calculate the amount of actual sunshine with which eactt day is lavored. TRIFLING WITH TRIFLEi Pedestrian How is it that this street Is so much dirtier than the others? Cop The women never walk here. .v. F. Evening Sm. A girl from the Nile, who was late, Caused a stir when she got to the fete. And the papers next day. Had whole columns to say. That the smile that she had on was great. Cloak Renew, 3Irs- Spinks Is your friend Finks a mar ried man? Jlr. Splnks-I guess so. He fastens his surrenders with a hairpin instead of a nM.-Judse. Mr. Newsome (showing visitor through his reputed ancestral baUs)-And this is the snltmj great-grandfather wore when be gare up nil heart's blood during the ReTOlutlon. Miss Gotham (looking In vain for bnllet hole or sabre rents) Ah 1 Was your great-grandfather killed while In bathing. Mr. Newsomef-Pue. "NVe boast in these modern days Of Edison and carbon tips. And laugh whene'er we chance to think Of oar ancestor's tauow dips. But after an a tallow dip, Although Its flame be dim and weak. Is worth a dozen electric lamps To find oat where gas pipes leak. -JV. X, World. Daughter (forcibly) I wouldn't marry the best man in the world If he were addicted to strong drink. Jlother (gently) If he were, my dear, he would not be the best man In the world. Detroit Jrrm Press. Miss Porcus Did yon ever see the man in the moon with the naked eye? Miss Beacon I hare Imagined I could dlstlngnlsa a male Ognre in fair Luna, bat 1 don't think I eTtr noticed his eye. Sao Tork Herald, 'lis plain that the kic1"-'- May never be stilled When we're rid o' It'a place is 8 When the sb That sera Thefestlv Comn- "Jndgin- " pearance it's a e startlr Tl befon "II C Chief "' - i 'Vi lirritotw 4lr4wiiiQ' KJtk J& v H-