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PITTSBUEQ-
SUNDAY,
1892.
aT " ' . THE PITTSBUEQ- DISPATCH,
MAY ' 1.
U
ESTABLISHED FEBROAnT 8, 1846
VoL 47,jNo. $4. rntered at Pittsburg Postofflce
November.1 1SS7 at second-class matter.
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SUNDAY. MAY" 1. 1SK.
COMTLMNTS FROM .THE FIDK.
The report of the remarkably sudden
Are on Liberty street yesterday contains a
number of points requiring public atten
tion. In the first place the rapid outburst
of flames in the building where the fire
originated makes it a costly object lesson
on the necessity of care against construc
tion and methods which conduce to the
rapid spread of fires in a, quarter where
immense quantities of valuable merchan
dise are packed into close proximity.
"Whether the peculiar character of this fire
was due to an elevator shaft constructed
with an apparent purpose of makinc it in
flammable or to carelessness in the pres
ence of explosive or quick-burning stuff,
It is a very emphatic warning of the need
for constant care against such dangers.
The complaints of tardiness in the work
of the Fire Department are more definite
than usual, and are met by equally posi
tive assertions on the part of the Public
Safety officials that tne fault is not with
their organization. There seems to be
practically little dispute that fifteen
minutes elapsed between the time that the
fire was discovered and the arrival of the
engines. On one side there are accusa
tions that a large portion of this time
elapsed after the alarm was sent inj on
behalf of the fire department it Is asserted
that the people of the vicinity failed to
scad in the alarm. The exact facts should
be brought out by investigation in order to
determine responsibility; but even on the
claim of Hip Department of Public Safety
It does not appear in the best light. In
the business center of the city with corner
men two hundred and fifty feet away, it
seems as if the Department might con
sider it necessity for Its own discipline to
provide that an alarm shall be sent In at
once.
In addition the allegations of bursting
hose and insufficient streams are matters
on which the public has a right to exact
information. The force may have done
its best; but if there were such drawbacks
as alleged, the responsibility must be
located. Pittsburg can afford to pay for
first-class fire service, and it cannot afford
tu jay for anything less.
TnE AIMS OF THE AGE.
An echo of that famous billion or half-
v" j.l dinner in New Tork the
,, appears in the letter elsewhere
..oga monologue by Sir. Chauncey ST,
Depew on the direction of "activity taken
by genius nowadays. He starts with the
paucity of literary genius, in this age
There is little great literature written now
adays as compared with the middle of the
century, because, as Sir. Depew says,
genius is directing itself into other chan
nels. It is bringing out new and revolu
tionary inventions like those of Tesla and
Edison. It is planning great corporate re
organizations, as Sir. F. P. Olcott has done,
or mapping out municipal combinations'
such as Sir. Andrew IL Green wishesNew
Tork to effect It is "building great
bridges, constructing Euperb artificial
waterways, conquering prairies and
mountains, mastering the ocean and send
ing steamships to Europe in five days
time."
TheDiseatch has heretofore In these
columns presented a theory of the intel
lectual activities of the day. But there
Is room for a difference of opinion as to
whether it is as Sir. Depew makes it a sub
ject for eulogium. The most charitable
" statement of it is that the activity of the
age is turned toward material rather than
mental progress. It is a great thing to
cross the ocean in five days; but Is It so
great a thing as to abolish the importance
of mental elevation as by an essay of
Emerson's, or a poem of Longfellow's?
The inventions of Edison and Tesla are
wonderful, but do they entirely compen
sate us for the absence of . a Dickens,
Thackeray and Balzac?
Beyond that, the fact that the age has
accomplished great things in invention
and industry does not fully explain an ab
sence of great literature. The explana
tion is given in Sir. Depew's talk, out it
requires amplification. Great things In
invention were accomplished in the first
half of the century. Wonderful as are the
Achievements of the present day, none of
them have revolutionized trade and com
merce as much as the inventions of Whit
ney. Watt and Stephenson. Great as has
been the work of building up the country
from the Slissouri to the Pacific, It was
not so great in comparison to the means
for the work as that of the first half of 'the
century in building up the country from
the Alleghenies to the Slissouri. In other
words, in what is presented by this theory
as the especial field of this age, the first
half of the century more than rivals it;
and yet with all that material achievement
the earlier generation produced the great
literary minds of the Victorian age, and
the cotemporary genius on this side of
the ocean, of Bryant, Irving, Cooper, I
Whittier, Longfellow, Holmes, Emerson
and Lowell.
This difference can only be adequately
accounted for by the hypothesis that the
aim is lowered. It is not alone that intel
lectual activity is directed to material
achievements, for we have seen that the
earlier age did that without intellectifal
deterioration. But it Is that in place: of
the earlier ambition to win renown and
confer benefits by either mental lor
material results, men have come to direct
their efforts for the sordid purpose) of
amassing great wealth. It is of a piece
with the recent announcement that great
lawyers could not afford to servethe
public as judges or legislators because
they can make so much more aycorpora
tion lawyers. The object ofamassing a
fortune entirely overslaugh the honor of
a moderately comfortable Income for
building up and maintaining a great sys
tem of law. When this venial motive
sways the brigiftest legal minds what
wonder that liconquers the rest of society
to the extefit of dwarfing literature and
blinding.ambitious minds to the honor of
inspiring the soul of a nation with great
thoughts.
There could hardly be any severer com
mentary on this tendency, that when its
theory results in holding up as among the
functions of fin de siecle genius, the work
of reorganizing and combining corpora
tions already staggering under the burden
of fictitious capitalization, so that they
can carry sundry millions more of water.
The Dispatch is fully in harmony with
real industrial progress; but when it comes
to the point of passing off the sham forthe
real as an acceptable substitute for men
tal elevation, it is necessary to say that
tripd in the crucible of the impartial
future, one page of Emerson will outr
weigh all such dross.
PIVENTr MOKE Or THEM.
The fact that a tract of 100 to 300 acres
has been offered to the city for a Poor
Farm at 5225 per acre Is important as bear
ing on that fear that the city might be
squeezed. But it is not such a chance
that the city need jump at it for fear that
it will not get another one.
The fact is the bargain Is neither ex
ceptionally advantageous nor exception
ally cheap for Poor Farm purposes.
When it is determined that the city will
take 100 to 150 acres of good agricultural
land with a live water supply, the city will
have abundance of cheaper bargains than
this. The agricultural districts of Alle
gheny county are full of them.
There Is every reason to expect that the
city can buy a Poor Farm of 100 to 150
acres for from $15,000 to $25,000. Any
thing above the latter sum will be luxury
not for the paupers, but for the precon
ceived notions of the Department of
Charities.
A SMALL, BEGINNING.
The inauguration of Mayor Kennedy to
morrow may be traced directly to the re- J
form movement In Allegheny. And as
will be seen from an article in our local
columns the reform movement itself is al
most entirely due to the action of one
man. The small beginning of the agita
tion against maladministration In the
transpontine city and the practical results
already evident are Indicative of the
strength of popular feeling when once it
can be stirred up to take an interest In
such matters. Tho Reform Association
has done a good deal already, but it is wise
enough to realize that much yet remains
to be accomplished. It Is worthy the sup
port of every good citizen and care should
be taken that the movement be maintained,
for spasmodic efforts in this direction have
no permanent results. What is needed is
simply the proper attention of voters to
their own self-government. This atten
tion once secured and kept alive Alle
gheny should enjoy one of the best muni
cipal governments of the country.
A RECOILING VINDICATION.
As bearing on the disputed parliament
ary practice of permitting the Speaker to
count a quorum, It is cited that the Lieu
tenant Governor of the State of New Tork,
in forcing through that remarkable extra
session this week, the still more remark
able legislative apportionment Dill, made
this most remarkable ruling: "Bowing to
the highest judicial tribune of the country,
the Supreme Court of the United States,
the Chair dirflcts the Clerk to record as
present and not voting the fourteen Re
publican Senators," and the Clerk did as
he was directed.
As a vindication of Reed, this precedent
is more dangerous in the recoil than In
the discharge. In the first place, it rests
a parliamentary decision on the implica
tion that the UnitedStates Supreme Court
has declared It always competent for the
Speaker to count a quorum. The fact is,
that the Court only decided it to be com
petent for a legislative body to pass a rule
authorizing the Speaker to count a
quorum; and any mention of such a rule
of the New Tork Senate is conspicuously
absent from the proceedings!''"
But the most severe recoil from this vin
dication is the illustration that the prac
tice, which in the abstract is not objec
tionable. Is one resorted to by unscrupu
lously partisan presiding officers to force
the passage of partisan measures. In the
New Tork case the bill as passed was so
gross that even fair-minded Democratio
newspapers are unable to stomach it; and
the Speaker's partisanship Is sufficiently
illustrated by the fact that he did not take
the trouble to count the Republican Sena
tors individually, but simply directed the
Clerk to record "the fourteen Republican
Senators" as present An example of
such an abuse of the Speaker's power is a
precedent to be honored In the breach
rather than the observance.
It is also claimed on behalf of the re
nowned David Bennett Hill that he set the
first example of counting a quorum when
he presided as Lieutenant Governor over
the New Tork Senate. When Sir. Reed
finds himself in the company of Hill and
Sheehan on the use ot the Speaker's
power, he may well exclaim with Pyrrhus:
"One more such vindication and I am
lost!"
DISCIPLINE FOR DIPLOMATISTS.
Lord Dufferin, the English Ambassador
at Paris, took a unique method at a public
dinner the other day to convey to the
French people his assurance of the main
tenance of pacific relations. In his speech
he said: "Should GreatBritain and France
come to loggerheads, Instead of declaring
war they should erect a vast gallows in
sight of the opposing armies and hang
there, first the Ambassadors and then the
foreign Ministers of the two countries. "
This is a picturesque statement of the
national necessity for peace between two
nations allied by three-quarters of a cen
tury of close commercial ties, more reas
suring to the people than to the diplomat
ists. But as a statement of the popular
interest it has a good deal of force. For
England and France to fight each other;
or for the United States to engage in war
with either of them, would be a crime
against humanity, and must Imply crim
inal policy on one sideor the other, and
perhaps on both. It it should be under-
stood that war must be preceded by the
capital punishment of the Ambassadors,
ministers of foreign affairs and premiers
on both sides, it would afford a sure guar
antee of continued pacific relations. Pos
sibly In view of the sporadic outbursts of
belligerent talk, it might be well to follow
the example of the Duke of Wellington
with the contractors, and hang an Am
bassador or two as a warning to the
others.
The penalty is really provided In an
other form. Although the jingoes cannot
comprehend It, the statesman who gets up
a war will sooner or later undergo the
political death penalty.
THE USUAL ILLUSTRATION.
A very interesting illustration of the
relation of corporate services with
municipal administration Is afforded by
experience of Cincinnati with electric
lights. Three years ago, when a -number
of electric light companies were com
peting for business, a bid was accepted
from one of them to light the city at the
rate of seventeen cents a lamp. One of
the other companies bought up all its
rivals, and proceeded to exhibit the well
known tendency of that sort of combina
tions to reduce prices by refusing to carry
out the contract and charging the city
forty cents per lamp.
Of course, the authorities permitted
them to do this, that is what city authori
ties are there for in the loglo of practical
politics. They also demonstrated the
purpose of existence of municipal politics
by refusing franchises in the streets to a
new company, which succeeded In getting
there, however, by a mandamus from the
Probate Court When the last bids were
opened it was found that the old company
hal reduced Its charges to 30 cents per
lamp, but the new one bid only 23 cents,
which represents a saving to the city of
Cincinnati of 5118,200 per annum.
Two points impress themselves on the
observer of these facts. The first.ls that
It makes a difference of about 100 per cent
in the charges, whether there is competi
tion in the electric lighting business or
not The second is that a mortopoly does
not find it difficult to get the support of
the representatives of the city, even when
the latter is being cheated. The latter
puase of the case is a sufficient answer to
the Socialist idea, that the millennium
would be Introduced by giving the3e same
politicians the direct management of the
electric lighting, street cars, gas business,
telephone service and other works of mu
nicipal service. The other points ouj the
old truth obscured by current misrepre
sentation, that the one sure way to secure
reasonable charges for the people for such
service is to create and maintain full com
petition in each enterprise for serving the
public.
Side by side with this place the energy
with which the electric light combination
tried to charge the World's Fair $1,750,
000 for services worth $500,000; and the
economic tendency of the policy of com
bination needs no further comment
didn't heat gocld.
It is noticeable by the way that the fi
nancial gentlpmen, who undertook to turn
Jay Gould out of the Union Pacific man
agement, are now busy explaining what it
was that struck them. The usual expla
nation might be given, that the Gould
party controlled the biggest vote; but an
other detail Is also to be added that the
next party which attempts to beat Gould
at his own game should not imitate the
example of Mr. Tracy Tupman, and an
nounce In a loud tone of voice that they
are going to begin while taking off their
coats.
From time immemorial people have gone
out shearing and come back shorn; men
have at Intervals sold the lion's skin and
been killed hunting the lion in order to
deliver the goods, and in the latter day
sundry ambitious Wall street financiers
have tackled the job of beating Gould in
the manipulation of corporate elections
all with similar returns. ' In this case the
scale was turned by an unconsidered trifle of
26,000 shares of Union Pacific stock,placed
with a firm of brokers to vote against
Gould. The brokers had authority to
to vote the shares without restriction; and
the Gould arguments proved irresistible
to the brokers. Hence the party that was
to turn Gould out remain on the outside
themselves.
All of which, as illustrating the influ
ences that control corporate management,
and in this case the management of a cor
poration that is a debtor to the Govern
ment for its full value, is extremely inter
esting tff the public. It may be suggested
to the anti-Gould financiers that he who
putteth on his armor should not boast
himself like him who putteth it off.
CORN CAKES FOR GERMANY.
The most interesting feature of the
news from Germany to the producer of
this country is the action of that Govern
ment in not only establishing a cornmeal
mill, but In ordering that the soldiers'
bread be hereafter made of two parts rye
and one part cornmeal. The significance
of the movement lies not in the fact that
a considerable amount of corn will be con
sumed by the German army, but in the
approval of corn as a food material.
Heretofore this cereal and its products
have been considered as hardly fit for the
'German palate, and despite the efforts of
a few to introduce it the people have
stubbornly resisted. Now, with the ex
ample of the soldiers feasting on johnny
bread, cornmeal muffins and hot cakes
it is to be supposed that very shortly the
whole population will be calling upon us
to supply them with the same kind of
food. When they do, the question of
what to do with our corn will be partly
answered in a satisfactory manner.
These is a general expectation that the
twenty ladies who i ccently danced a minuet
at a charitable entertainment at McKces
port will have twenty minutes or reproof
from several pulpits to-day. Grace, dignity
and modesty are the chief requirements for
the ancient dance, but then it is a dance for
all that.
Millbank's wounded opponent remains
unknown. There is theretore no way of
judging at present, whether lie is a man of
straw or real live flesh and blood.
It is said that Congressman McAdoo, of
New Jersey, is in New York as un envoy to
arrange for the withdrawal of Hill and
Cleveland from the Fresidental contest in
favor of W. C. Whitney, of that city. There
is a great probability that the whole rumor
is a case of McAdoo about nothing.
To judge from recent and current events
it appears that tho main function of several
of the Federal departments if to provide
material for investigation.
The many descriptions which have been
given ot Vanderbilt's new $30,000 bronze
doort do not state that they are bomb proof,
bat their use as resistants to explosives was
no doubt considered along with more
testhetlc requirements.
Liberty steeex was "flame swept" yes
terday afternoon according to a cotempo
rary. This is not the sort of sweeping the
city most needs.
Students of the Washington and Jeffer
son College are making great preparations
for a moot Fresldental convention. So ire
the free traders throughout the country, in
so far as their efforts will come to nought In
November. .
Victoria Woodhull's expectations of
success are even more baseless than the
vague" platform -on whioh she professes to
stand.
The most remarkable feature of Chief
Brown's demaud for a three years' guarantee
of the new hose pipes Is the revelation that
a similar provision was omitted) from the
last order through some Btrange oversight.
It is highly probable that a braised Beed
will be heard or from Minneapolis when
the convention has chosen some other
party.
The Prince of Walts is braving what
risks there are or danger in Farts to-day by
remaining while some other foreigners flee.
A new experience is an entertainment which
he is anxious to make the most of.
Tbees are shooting in America this May
day, bat It Is not unlikely that there will be
a noisier fusillade in some of Europe's
cities.
Cases of poisoning from eating wild
parsnips are becoming so frequent that it
would be well to have the appearance of the
plant, and warnings against It given to
children in public schools.
EubekaI As the water remarked when
It found itself lree from the hose pipe at the
point of least resistance.
Many will he the favorite sons to sink
below the political horizon at Minneapolis
and Chicago, and there will be no re
markable display of glory in most of the
sunieta.
aVibebty street should have Its name
changed to Fire Place.
May is the month of maidens, and it is to
be hoped that the weather will behave in a
ladylike manner without too many tears
and with an absence of fickleness.
There is no sign of the promised street
signs at present
There is.a call for free speech in the
discussion locating the proposed tree bridge,
There are two sides to the question, and the
more doubtful one is the Southslde.
PERTINENT PERSONALITIES.
The Grand Duke of Hesse is about to dis
patch his uncle. Prince William of Hesse.
to Burlfn to bear to the Kaiser the news of
his lather's death and his own succession.
The Duke and Duchess of Fife have been
in London all week. They take a horseback
riae daily in Rotten Bow, appearing on that
fashionable thoroughfare before 9 o'clock la
the morning.
The artist, Whistler, is so will pleased a
the treatment accorded his art by the
French Government and the French people
that be has decided to abandon London and
make Paris his home.
Pierre Loti, the new French Academ
ician, is a naval officer by profession, and be
sides being a literary "Immortal" is reported
to be a line pianist, a melodious composer
and an admirable draughtsman.
Dr. Bluden, the African author of a
well-known work on Islamism, is on his way
to England as 'Minister Plenipotentiary of
the Republlo of Liberia. Ho will also act
as Libcrian Minister to the UnitedStates.
Mr. O'Ferralii, Chairman ot the House
Committee on Eleotlons, who led the recent
fight against Mr. Hill's protege, Bockwell, of
the Elmlra district, is a tall, vigorous man,
with an erect figure, youthful face, and a
frank, fearless look. ""
Rumors are current that the Prince of
Wales will give up Sandringham Hall, his
country eat, where the Duke of Clarence
and Avondale died, and will take possession
of Welcombe House, situated on a splendid
piece of ground, two miles from the town of
Stratford.
Samuel Lane, of Gardner, Sle., ought
to know something about rural Justice, for
he has been a Justice of the peace and quo
rum for SO years without a day Off. He re
ceived his first appointment from Governor
Fairfield, and at the age of 80 he has been,
reappointed to deal out more Justice.
Mayor Hugh J. Grant and party, of
New l.ork City, arrived In HotSprings, Ark.,
yesterday, en route to Mexico. The party is
composed or Mayor Grant, Hon. Edward
Mnrphv, Chairman of the New Tork Demo
cratic Stato Central Committee, Messrs. J.
H. Hopkins, C. It Duryea and Francis Lo
bart, prominent railroad officials.
CUBES FOE CONSUMPTION.
Some Things That Can Re Done by the Aid
of Common Sense.
Philadelphia Bulletin.!
Tho subject of consumption and Its treat
ment lias recently received general agita
tion with a view to determining upon meas
ures which should tend to stay the increase
or that disoase. Various projects have been
urged trom time to time, ono plan which re
ceived considerable attention being the
framing of such legislation as would enforce
the more rigid observance of the primary
laws of health and induce more careful and
skillful treatment of the disease when once
it had been developed. It cannot bo said
that any of the plans proposed satisfy the
mind of one who views the question from a
fii-actlcal standpoint. There is something
acklnz, not in tho purpose of the ideas,
which is excellent, hut In their application.
The plan which contemplated legislation in
respect to the treatment of the disease fulls
n this point to more or less extent. Med
ical science is agreed that tuberculosis in its
various forms is the greatest enemy with
whioh man has to contend and also that pre
ventive measures would operate to no small
degree against the spread of the disease;
but the problem is: What form are those
preventive measures to take?
There have been various plans suggested,
as we have stated; but all of tliem have been
found wanting to no small degree. Common
sense urges, first of all, a strict observance of
the laws of cleanliness and complete protec
tion from sudden changes or temperature, as
well as an avoidance of undue excess or any
kind. To these rules, which are rational
and practical, medical investigation and ex
periment have added certain others, which
are founded upon a careful and detailed
study f the disease, and which are closely
identified with tuberculosis and its develop
ment. In a very broad way id may be said
that by following these rules consumption
may be avoided to a great extent, except
where inherited, and that even then the
chances of development may he greatly less
ened. It may he contended that these meth
ods are too general and that they do not
extend to a detailed study ot each particular
case of consumption, and therefore, are not
the best. It is self-evident, however, that
such minute investigation and treatment as
this would be impossible. We have the dis
ease or a world to deal with, and our meth
ods must be correspondingly general.
Both Wish for the Glorious Fourth.
Chicago Mall. J
President Harrison and ex-Presldont
Cleveland both heartily wishthatit were the
Fourth of July and all well.
THE HORIZON OF LOVE.
The Century.i
The sky is like a woman's love.
The ocean like a man's;
Oh, neither knows, below-, above.
The measure that It spans I
The ocean tumbles wild and free.
And rages round the world)
On reef and wreck eternally
Its ruthless waves are hurled.
The sky has many a gloomy clood
And many a rainy dash;
Sometimes the storms are long and load.
With wind and lightning flash.
Bat ever somewhere, fair and sweet.
Low stoops the adoring bine,
Where ocean heavenward leaps to greet
The sky so toft and true.
They meet and blend all ronnd the rlmt
Oh, who can half divine
What cops of fervid rapture brim
On the horizon line?
The Ky Is like a woman's love,
The ocean like a man's:
.And neither dreams, below, above,
The measure that It spans.
GREAT COUNTRY.
Aa Olcl Traveler Finds W Have Every
thing Europe Has Women Love
Bnakes--Effect ot a Chameleon In a
Belle's Hair Fish Stortrl by Kodak.
tniOlC A etXTF COERESPOKDINT.l
"I've been knocking aronnd the world
a good deal since I was a boy,", said a vet
eran traveler Jttst returned from a winter In
Florida, 'Sthdof late years have confined
my peregrinations to the limit of raj own
country. I find you can get any kind of a
climate in this country you want, winter or
summer. Toa can get it hot or you can get
It cold can get it moist or dry of a low or
high altitude and you can get it intermedi
ateall within reach of the rail or boat, of
postoffice or telegraph. And you can get
with all this about all the means of sport
and entertainment you can find abroad:
There are healthful natural waters every
where that will compare favorably with like
waters abroad for medicinal purposes in al
leviating similar suffering. You can't name
a single disease that yields to foreign treat
ment that cannot be equally well treated at
home. Yon can't name a single spring at
any European watering place that we can
not produce its counterpart of the same pro
perties, and we can produce more wonders
in the curative line of waters in a single
State than can be found in any foreign
country.
"So far as these magnificent gifts of nature
are concerned, therefore, our own land is
superior to any other, and there is no reason
why an American should go abroad at all.
The other features, the poetry of the past,
the historic interest, the society all these
we have -but in a very limited way. Com
pared with the older European countries in
these respects we have practically nothing.
Yet there is enough historic- interest in he
United States to keep a good many of us
pretty busy. I believe in travel. I believe
in trbvol abroad, but not to the neglect of
our homo attractions. From what I know
of the foreign migratory crowd nine-tenths
of them never saw anythlng'and four-fifths
of them don't know anything about the at
tractions of their native land. Going abroad
is a fad, largely a fashionable fad."
'Women Naturally Take to Snakes.
Why do women naturally take to snakes
and lizards and alligators and similar slimy
associations? Does that old original serpent
still wriggle in the feminine bosomt If you
will pay a visit to tho Clyde pier when one
of the coasters from Florida comes in with
Its human freight bf returning winter visit
ors you will see a good many small boxes
cigar boxes with open tops covered with
fine wire netting, envelope boxes with holes
punched in them, and all kind3 of packages
containing live somen ts. small alligators.
chameleons, lizards, nasty bugs and things
of ovei y description. I asked a learned Now
England lady the other day what she was
going to do with them.
"Oh, keep thorn for souvenirs and pets,"
sheieplied. "You don't suppose I brought
thorn home to eat!"
The Idea of having a pet snake did not
originate with the lovely Cleopatra, nor did
it die out with that famous beauty or the
Nile. Here was a cultured specimen of
modern civilization taking a collection of
horrible things to her New England home as
souvenirs and pets, to be led and fondled
and exhibited to admiring female friends.,
No man ever had such an assortment, ex
cept with the delirium tremens, and he is
never proud of that. He is scared to death
even with the idea, let'ulone Indulging in the
reality. A woman of refinement will em
broider dragons and scorpions nd toadt all
over her dainty boudoir. She J ust naturally
revels in snakes. So when she comes back
from Florida she can think of no more
pleasing souvenir than a box of choice
young alligators and lovely lizards and
doar little nater serpents, and she brings a
lot home for bouse petsl
Had a Lizard In Her Hair.
"I was at a ball at Fernandlna a short
time ago," said the handsome purser of the
Iroquois, "and the belle of the occasion wore
a beautiful live chameleon on her coiffure.
It was anchored with a gold cable the
lizard, I mean, not the hair. The latter
unquestionably belonged there and was as
luxuriant and fluffy as the moss that hangs
from tho hranchns along the St. John's.
Only it was coal black. She was certainly
a very lovely woman. That little critter on
her foretop must havo been quite vain or his
position in society for he showed all his
colors during-Xho evening, running up red
and green and gold and silver alternately,
as if he was the flash light off Hatterns. The
fine cable J ust abaft his forelegs gave him
enough swing tcf movo his length and he
kept signaling all the time. Of course, the
lady was very much admired; so was the
chameleon.
"She had several swells from Boston and
Now York after her. Two of the latter fel
lows came down on the boat with us and
they had taken a good deal of champagne
on the voyage. They got Introductions to
tho clipper with the ohameleon; but 1
noticed that neither of them seemed to cot
ton to her much. Thefiist one snapped up
her card and leaned over her where she cat,
and was about to write his name down for a
dance when the lizard perked up its nose at
him within six inches ot his race and slowly
wiggled its tail. He turned as white as a
stay sail, and dropping the card hurried out
of the room. His friend, who had been
watching for a chance to get in,
saw him go and 'made straight for
the pretty woman. He seemed to
be tickled to death to flndan opening on her
card and his tace was wreathed in smiles
when they swung out into the stream for a
waltz. As they came aiound past me ho
seemed to have caught sight of the lizard
for the first time. It was showing red nnd
was straining at the cable to get over into
his neck. He shut both eyes and blinked
bard the lizard changed to green and
flopped its tail at him. Ho looked like a
sailor who had seen a Jack-o-lantern perched
on the bowsprit. His legs had kept flying to
the music, but he missed tho step twice and
the lady chided him.
"Tlielizaid signaled blue, then green
then turned a dull copper color then
reached out one foot for him. He slipped
and fell and got thumped in the neck by a
good stout boot lrom the nearest couple.
He gave one yell and scrambled to his feet.
The music stopped and a lot of people gath
ered around him,supposIng lie' was severelv
hurt, but he got away and came out hastily,
catching me by the coat as he went by. 1
went out with him, laughing.
" 'S s sayl" says he, trembling all over,
'd d do you d d did you see'
' 'The lizard in her foretop?' says I. 'Yes
pretty, isn't rtf
" 'Is it is it a real the real live thing, you
know?' he asked, brightening up.
"I explained that it was, and I laughed
till both of us were red in the lace. He was
as mad as a wet hen. I saw both fellows in
Jacksonville nfterward. Thev were both
sober, and neither would speak to me."
The Kodak as a Fish Liar.
"Talk about all the lies told about fish
and fishing," said a friend of mine who
knows what he is talking about, "the biggest
fish liar is the kodak. The kodak is a silent
liar but It gets there as usual; he merely
rings in the kodak toswear to it. If you get
a picture of the fisherman and his fish you've
cot the combination. Just lie down with
your feet toward the camera nnd have a
pnotozrapn raicen oi yourseii ana you'll un
derstand. Your feet will appear bigger and
longer than your body.
When the flsh liar wants corroboration
and he always does want it he hangs up his
flsh a little to one side and In front of him.
The kodak does the rest. I've seen a flve
pound flsh look four feet long and like it
ought to weigh at least 50 pounds, all by the
artistic accuiacy of the kodak. To make a
flsh look large all you have to do is to get it
well In the foreground of the object with
which the eye makes involuntary compari
son. Ob, I tell you the kodak knows its
business when it goes Ashing."
The Gift of Forgetfalness.
A short time ago I met a gentleman on
the steps of the Astor House and he invited
me in, saying he had a good story for me.
But I was In a hurry at the moment, bent
on catching a boat for a few days out of
town.
"Meet me around the corner," said he,
"when you come hack. It will keep." We
shook hands and parted.
I got my boat. A week later I returnod
and remembered the man, the promise and
the story. I went "around the corner"
where my friend was usually to be found
and inquired for him casually as I lighted a
fresh cigar. Tho man behind the desk
looked at me curiously a moment and asked
inn If I read the papers. I explained that I
had juss arrived from a sea voyage.
"Your friend was burled yesterday," said
he coldly.
Dead? Impossible! Why, I had just shaken
hands with him and he bad made an ap
pointment "around the corner" here, where
he was to give me "a story." 1 had never
seen him look better. Buried? I could see
him yet the small flgnra a little stooped,
the close-croppod beard, the unltghted cigar
half munohed, the nervous eye, the sott,
effeminate hands, tho gentle, kindly wave.
In the Instant I remembered him as a bravo
young soldier promoted on the battle field
as he stood on the floor or the House of
Bepresentatlves, sealing his own political
TiHISISA GREA'
i Oia. Trareler Finds
doom as, a Journalist, swepin v ..
for news as a good fellow alw. . ,
everybody loved. Dead and bun . -
"around. the corner" to All an appo.
with the Almighty. And that '
ayel "it will keep," my c
Colonel, it will keep forever! Well,
"give me a light, please; thanks." So it w.i
soon be with all of us. Andsosotne old-timu
friend will come along and say; "What has
become or 1 can't just think or his name
that fellow that used to hang around here
what's his name monkeyed with the news
papers oh, yes. Where is he now? Dead?
Two years ago! Well, well! Thanks, old roan;
I don't care lr I da" And they will discuss
the short horse 0 yesterday and the chances
of the favorite to-morrow, as they balance
glasses, Just as if we had never been. The
greatest gift of all is the) gift Of rorgatmi
ness. Human Nature as a Tailor Sees It.
"I've got no time to fool with women,"
says my tallor-sconrer-and-repairer. "On
woman Is more trouble than four men. I
had a lady come here with a coat to have the
altered. 'Just half an inch lower,' said she
and I took off an Inch, fori could see it was
too high. She came bank and said I didn't
take off half an Inch, sol had to do it over
again and me crowded with genta' trousers
and suits that I can't 'tend to. Itoldbor,
'Why don't you go where you bought it?1
and she says 'Oh, they can't do it as well as
a tailor.' 'Madam,' savs I, 'I ain't no lady's
tailor and I don't want nothing to do with
women.' But she made me fix that collar
and all for a dollar and me I could have
rnado$5and no fuss attending to trovsers.
When a woman gets so she brings In
trousers then I'm for her, but then I don't
want nothing to do with women.
"Now, there'sa gent in the Alpine building;
he sends me five pairs of trousers to-day
and wants 'em to-morrow, sure. Well, he
don't get 'em. see? He'll send aronnd here
for them in about a week, and then I'llJump
on to them and have 'em right under the
iron. Sometimes gents sends Inhere for to
have a suit pressed right away and then
never come back ana never send for them.
They forget all about them, I s'pose. or go
off somewhere in a hols and die. Oh, I keep
them a month or two and then sell 'em to
pay charges. I've had suits wortb a hundred
left here and never called for or never
written about. It's surprising howl orgetful
eome people are. They Jus t come in here
with a rush and say, -I want these light
away well, to-morrow, 9 sharp,' and that's
the last I see of them for a week or two,
maybe never. Men are mostly fools, any
how. "I have a customer, who sends his valet
over here for his trousers, then senns 'em
back again swearlri' they ain't half done.
Very well,' says I. 'I'll do 'em over,' and I
takes 'em and slaps 'em nnder the iron be
fore his eyes and he goes away and I hangs
fnm all nvai a .li.fi. .,1 ,. Y.n ..... ,, 1
... .. w v. ,jt mm jtso auvuv 111 wioi-
ness. And Ithe valet he comes and says,
'Now they're lovely, and, bless you, I hadn't
tetched 'em! I ain't got no use lor rich men,
either. When I have a rich man I go and
deliver the goods myself and get the money.
No money, no trousers,' Is my motto, and
It's mighty hard gettin' money out of some
of them Tellers when they onco get Into you.
I've been there. A poor man must have Ms
trousers and always pays up and comes up
prompt; but rich men are apt to lorget
owin" somebodv $1 60."
Charles Thiodorb Mvbbat,
New Yobjc, April 30.
OTJB CANAL APPB0PBIATI0N.
It Is a Worthy Project If for Nothing Else
Than Checking Railroads.
Philadelphia Ledger.
A favorable report has been obtained on
the' bill appropriating $10,000 for the survey
of a route for a ship canal to connect Lake
Erie, at or near Erie, with the Ohio river, at
or near Pittsburg. If constructed this canal
would open no to Northwestern Pennsyl
vania a very large water-way Teaching to
tne Gulf or Mexico. For many years after
the construction of railroads was begun lit
tle attention was given to canals, many of
whioh already constructed foil into the
hands of railroad companies and were
abandoned.
Attention has recently been directed anew
to the value of such waterways and, sow
that the country has been well supplied with
railroads, there Is a disposition to renew the
construction ot canals as furnishing a
cheaner means of carrying certain bulky
products nnd because they aot as regulators
of railroad rates during the season of naviga
tion. QUESTIONS FOB FREE TRADERS.
Wilt. Tammany stlok a knife Into Grover
Cleveland, and abduct the Democratic
party? Arapahoe tfews.
That the Democratic party will hedge on
the silver issue in its platform is certain;
but how can it dodge the tariff i3sue?
Toledo Blade.
" 'Amd should It be deemed expedient to
come to the great West for a candidate'
should it be deemed expedient! Great
Scott!" Palmer. Chicago Tribune.
If reciprocity is nothing but free trade, as
the Democratio orators are fond of assert
ing, then why do tney not indorse it and
thus promote the destruction of the pro
tective system?. Louis Globe-Democrat.
The duty on a good blanket under the Mc
Kinley tariff is 05 cents, but the same kind
of blanket can be bought at retail for 90
cents. Does tno tariff, then, add its amount
to the cost of the article? Muskegon Chront
cle. IIehs is a point that the public would liko
to have settled: If, by any strango'possl
billty, Mr. Hill should become President of
the United States, how many offices would
ho want to hold at the same time? Chicago
News.
On, "this tariff-ridden country" that "shuts
off foreign tiadel" And yet the statistics
show that our exports exceeded our imports
by $169,2-25,921 last year. Does that look as if
Uncle Sam was putting up the shutters to
close business? Let Democrats answer.
Chicago Inter-Ocean,
What Can They Do With ItT
Chicago Inter-Ocean.
That "other Democratio convention In
New York" Is now bothering the bosses.
What to do with the white elephant, now
they have It, Is a serious problem.
DEATHS HERE AND ELSEWHERE.
General Jacob Sharpe.
General Jacob Sharpe, who died in De
troit Wednesday, was born In Red Hook, N. Y., Si
years ago. For several years he resided at Kings
ton. N. Y. He entered the West Point Academy
at the age of IT. At the outbreak of the war he be
came Major or the Fifty-sixth New York Volun
teers, formed in Orange county, and later was
transferred to the One Hundred and Fifty-sixth, of
which he became Colonel. He was severely
wonnded at the battle of Winchester. After the
war he was employed in the New York Custom
House, and then went to Milwaukee and was com
mander of the Soldierj' Home there for several
years.
Lamb Stocks, Engraver.
Lamb Stocks, the famous engraver, is
dead. He was born In IS12 at Llghtcllffe. York
shire. He was educated at Uorton, near Bradford,
and elected Associate Engraver of the Royal
Academy In 1853, and Royal Academician In 1372.
He began as line engraver In 1833, engraving sub
jects after Stothard and others for the annals of
that period, then plates for Flnden's Gallery of
British Art, after Macllse. For the Association
for the Promotion of the Fine Arts In Scotland
he engraved "The Glen Maiden." after Lander,
The Gentle Shepherd," after Wllkle, and others.
General W llllam Wells.
General "William "Wells, one of the best
known citizens of Vermont, who was prominently
spoken of last year as likely to be the successor of
Secretary of War Proctor In President Harrison's
Cabinet, died suddenly Friday afternoon la a New
York business house. He had come to the city on
a business trip. Ex-Senator Edmunds, as an old
friend ol General Wells, took charge of tn re
mains. General Wells enlisted as a volunteer at
the outbreak or the Rebellion, and served with di
tinrtinn. He was brevetted Brleadler General ot
Volunteers. February 22. 1885, and on Mircli 70 of
the same year was brevetted Major Genoa'. Gen
eral Wells was In the Vermont Legislature lrom
1855 to 1856, servpd Adjutant General and In
6pcctorbeneralfroinl81!tni872, then as Collector
oV Internal revenue until 1835, and as State Senator
from 18S6 to 1887.
Obituary Notes.
M. SAUTTXa, director of the Bank of Holland, Is
dead,
KobebtS. PattebSOX, harbormaster of Phila
delphia, died yesterday morning. He was a well
known politician.
ItEV. J. W. Lahbuth, one of the oldest mission
aries of the Methodist church in Japan, died at
Kobe Friday. His son is a prominent preacher in
Nashville.
George Taixtob, father of Charles Talntor, of
Washington, the Inventor of the graphopbone,
died in the Massachusetts Gehral Hospital, in Bos
ton, Thursday, aged 70.
Sib Alexander B. P. Hood Is dead. He was
born on April 20. 1817, and was descended from
Captain Alexander Hood, who accompanied Cap
tain Cook on one of hlavoyages around, the.wortd.
He was a member of Parliament for West Somerset
from 1859 to 1804,
4ii4 Sac
"rerol a
3 -.)' , g
t - r ftc.
no i' " ' t re).1! OX
lawyt it recatlng f
anoysi s- -, 'rtlnt Tij.
with the. w. -r "nn.t i ea-
oyster and. , . .. ..w dl "..
you a shell."
By-the-by, a). i '. j-d it r- '
tngs how some c -'Suve. .
to the public fan.. , en" .'
some occult reason o. .
do not seem longliveu , t,
frequently of the first ora;3i '
a dozen old Punch Jokes w:
the mouths of men who use thv
tlons without any knowledge of .
nlty. Perhaps it is because Amerk.
are Intended for general consumptto.
seem to die of this very disease,
all that Is the speculative philosophy v
humor and is not what I started out to say.
I met a man the other day who had been at
law with someone and was coming out of the
Court House as I entered. He wore an
amused expression and on my inquiring the
cause he replied: "I sued a man and got a
verdict tor ISO0 and I have just paid my
lawyers $900 for fees and expenses." And he
seemed to think it was funny! Maybe it was
an American Joke and the state of the bal
ance sheet is the cause of its early demise.
Be this as it may, it seems to me that soma
day the people will start out to get cheap
Justice and equity and the newspapers of
that era will be full of good reading thereon.
A Sign rroof Header Wanted.
That most amiable and busy gentleman,
Chief of the Department of Publlo Works,
Blgelow, should send a proof reader around
with his sign painter. Iu the notices of
warning in Highland Park the publlo are
forbidden to molest trees, flowers and
"schrubs." Have we a teutonic tendency in
spelling among as or was the painter more
tnan half a "o" over when he painted?
Soma Sign Painters' Oddities.
Another peculiarity of the sign painter
not he of Highland Park but the genius nt
large is his Inability to keep pace with
moving day. Along Fifth avenue, Penn
avenue. Liberty and other streets largely
devoted to business, you get many Indica
tions of what I allude to. "The Fort Pitt
Butter Company" looks down in big gilt let
ters from above the front of a tailor shop
with its window full of clothes and pictures
orimpo3-ibIe men in improbable, clothing.
Not far from this "Eggs. Butter and Cheese"
is the legend on the shop of a dealer in
lamps and gas flxtuies: "Wines, Liquors and
Cigars" in one instance is over the door of a
bakery and a very innocent, sweet-smelling
bakery at that, and In another part of the
city the fame legend greets yon as you enter
the store of a miscellaneous dealer in the
"latest fashions" part of said latest being
displayed on wire frames on the pavement
and consisting of blue sunbonnets and
glngbam wraps. "John B. Jones,
real estate and mortgages," re
mains a memento- of the departed
Jones, and has no sort of reference to
Abou Ben Isreall, Who deals in peddlars'
supplies beneath tbis Inscription, and who
has no real estate exoept on his face and
hands, and who would not lend you a cent if
you wanted to mortgage unincumbered
property on Wall or Threadneedle streets.
Perhaps the most suitable of these misfit
signs is one or "Ice Cream and Con ectlon
ery Taffy a Specialty," whioh is to be seen
In large letters above the small, neat brass
slsrn or "John. Smith, Undertaker and Em
balmer." .
Freaks of Broken Hose at a Fire.
'Woman is a curious animal, and the
years of patient study which man has de
voted to her has failed to make known all
her traits. She can be heroic under circum
stances which would cause a man to make a
spectacle of himself. For example, during
the Liberty street fire yesterday, the merry
cotton hose burst in the most amusing way
In about a dozen places and deluged the
spectators in an impartial manner truly
commendable In a repuolic. Standing in
tho crowd on Sixth avenue and eagerly
watching the German Bank building
which, of course, was not on Are wtui a
neat looking woman in a pretty brown cloth
suit, new and tailor-made. She was sour
selfish in her way she was content to look at
nothing In particular, whllo others
trampled, pustlod. trod on toes and knocked
off hats in an effort to see the fire, that she
became an object of respectful considera
tion. Two neat patent leather shoes r "ted
In blissful ignorance within an Inch of a line
of hose water bose, I mean when sud
denly, without apparent cause, this quiet,
calm creature shot up into spree with an
awful shriek and a general resemblance to
an open umbrella with a preponderance of
handle. Her flight was instantly explained
bv a burst of water from a broken hose.
When she came down to earth it was beauti
ful to watch her. At first she had a wild,
scared-to-death look, but when she found
she was still in Pennsylvania and all there.
she proceeded mentally to take account of
stock, or course, i uon't Know the
process which a woman calls "rea
soning." Nobody does, but you can
grasp the results. In this case
it ran through a gamut of emotional display
by the featuies which finally ended in a
calmness of smiling despair. The tailor
made suit was unharmed, tnere wero
scarcely a dozen drops or water upon it.
Surface indications, however, showed that
all was not well with the fair victim. She
began to shiver, her teeth chattered and
she looked around for a place ot sanctuary
in vain, nnd then she started off toward
Smithfield street, leaving as she went the
most delicate footprints on the pavement.
And yet she carried herseir as if she was
going to the matinee without a enre and had
the Sunday marketing safe at home.
P. L. W.
8T0BXS SET DOWN FOB MAY.
A St. Louis Weather Prophet fredlcu a
Lively Tempestuous Period.
St. Louis, April 30. Rev. Irl B. Hicks, the
St. Louis weather prophet, thus predicts
May weathon Cool, clear weather will ad
vance from west to eastern part of our con
tinent during the first dJ)ys or May. By the
Drd a warm wave will appear in the West.at
tended by a low barometer and storm de
velopments of marked intensity. Within 13
hours of 6 p. K., on the 4th tho center ot the
period storms of marked cyclonic possi
bilities, attended by hall, rain and thunder,
will visit most parts of the country. As far
as may he practicable, preparations against
heavy hailstorms should be made at tbfs, as
well as all the storm periods of the month.
j$e prepared for phenomenal areas of cold
and hot In close proximity to eaoh other,
with sudden and extreme drops of temper
ature. Frosts are almost sure to follow in
the rear or storms aDout the night of the 4th
or 5th, in the North and West, reaching tho
eastern sections a day or two later. Watch
and see. Centering on the 10th and 11th, re
actionary conditions of temperature and
barometric pressure ending in storms, may
be counted on. Keep a cautious eye on all
stoini clouds about these dates, and do not
be unprepared tor frost. In many northern
and central sections on the nights immedi
ately rollowlng the storms.
irxe next storm period Is central on the
16th, bringing Its culminating stages, es
pecially in eastern parts of the country, ex
actly on the 18th the central dav or a Venus
disturbance. Remember that Venus brings
rapid and extieme alternations or beat and
cold, cloud-bursts, hailstorms and startling
manifestations or lightning and thunder.
Be on the watch for such results at this
time. The period runs from the Mth to 19th.
Aseries or heavy storms, recurring in cycles
of 2i hours say each afternoon and evening
will most likely result for several dari
about this time. The wind falling ob
otln.itel v back to the south alter the oassairo
of storm paroxysms, will bo good evidencel
that the storm win repeat useu uuouc or a
little in advance of the same hour on the
succeeding day. A cold, steady wind from
west and north will Indicate the cessation of
the storms. Heavy frosts will be heard from
to tho northward between tho 16th and 21st.
On nnd about the Kd look for a return of
very warm davs, with icactionary storms
greutlv intensified by the Venus equinoi.
Tho last storm period for the month is from
the 25th to the Mth a period calling for con
stant carefulness, in the event of hot
days, south winds and the formation of
active storm clouds. On the 25th falls the
new moon, equinox of Mercury on the 29tb,
Venns still in force all combine with a reg
ular "Vulcan" period, central on the 27tu.
Putting all these caasos togetherand adding
the fact that we are fully within the Snturii
ian period, wo may almost surely expect du-
turoanccs ui great viuiouce.
Haclntr Against the OoMn Record.
New York, April 30. The new ocean radcr,
La Touralne, of the French line, that iin
broken all ocean records to andfioin t
continent, to-day started for the other s
with the intention of beating her reco
She carried many distinguished persons.
eflwio
' HlKHWrtc
t-f!'tlOVf
lhe . i
t''o Ljii
rrr- vrtl '
Kllll,
old,,
waist i
She (s ul.
or two.
ptn
Two Swt
and Trumholt,
duced artificial au.
work of electric c . ' ,
mountains.
A Nebraska girl, wh
committed suicide after tno.
his property, amounting to .
the win in court and renounoa
in favor of his mother.
The use of electricity in tanu. i
pears to be a success. One establlsbmei. I
France has an annual capacitv or 00 tons
tanned hide, while In Portugal there are twt
electric tanneries at wortr.
The earth's surface only exceeds the
moon's by about Uptimes. The moon's sur-
face Is fully as large as Africa and Australia
together, and nearly as large as North and
South Anerica without the islands.
A Berlin mechanic, in testing his cells
to see If the current wai flowing, was in the
habit of putting the two ends of the wire in
bis mouth, and the solubls salts or copper
produced eventually causedis death.
The French call the n,,iatee "sea
woman," and dugong is named byth Dutch
"little man." Stories of mermaids slng.rror
talking may have arisen from bearingV
cries of seals, which resemble those of child
ren soinowhat.
It is not generally known that an orange
hit In the exact center by a rifle ball will
vanish at once from sight. Such, however,
is the fact, and shooting it through the cen
ter scatters it in such infinitesimal pieces
that it is at once lost to sight.
The marriages of 74,596 persons were;
solemnized in London during 1891, the pro
portion to the population Deing higher than
in an v year since 1S3. The births numbered
134.003, or 3L8 per 1.000, the lowest on record,
with the exception of the year 1390.
M. Inandi, a young Frenchman, aston
ished the Paris Academy of Sciences by solv
ing the most abstruse mathematical prob
lems offhand. He can multiply or divide
sums of 21 figures mentally without a blun
der, but in all other Intellectual ways he is
dulL
, A man in Liberty, Afe., who is 5 feat 7
Inches in height, has a beard 6 feet 3 inches,
in length, tbat is tied up la a kind of a'
queue. Nobody notices Its length except
when, to startle strangers, he skakes out the
reefs and lets his great beard trail upon the
ground.
The reports of the fire department of
Boston show that during the past four years
bnt 1.8 per cent of all the fires which had oc
curred wero attributed to electric wires,
while over 9 per cent of all were caused by
kerosene lamps, and 3.2 per cent were caused
by gas Jets and gas explosions.
A miniature photographic camera at
tached to the barrel of a gun is the inven
tion of Mr. Lerchner, of Vienna. By an au
tomatic shutter, working In union with the
trisger of the gun, the snortsman is able to
obtain a perfect photograph of the bird or
animal Immediately beore tho shot or bul
let has reached lr,
In England, perhaps, the oldest exist
ing works in iron ara hinges to doors,
strengthening bars, handles, escutcheons,
lock plates, and the like. Kven the nails
were things of beauty. Abrnad,the massive
doors of the Cathedral of Notre Dame ds
Paris offer a wonderful example of early
iron work.
A Canadian gentleman has expended a
vast amount of patience and shown consid
erable perseverance in gathering a collec
tion of buttons of officers or every regiment
and department of the British army. The
collection, which comprises 143 buttons, has
taken nine years for its formation, and the
owner wrote 584 letters to all parts of the
globe in pursuit of his hobby.
In Eockland, Sle., is a dog that iu a
born thief. Its favorite plunder is clothing,
and in daily excursions about the neighbor
hood during the past winter it bas pilfered
enough to stock a shop. Last week it went
into an open hallway, picked up a costly
muff anil started for home, hotly pursued by
a man and two excited women. The owner
got her muff and the dog got a beating.
The Knssian is a very religious man.
"Whenever he leaves his cottage or enters it
he will bow before the image of a saint that
invariably has Its place in a corner at the
window, and before which a small lamp is
constantly burning. Never will he touch
any food or drink until he has mado the sign
of the holy cross; that takes the place of
prayer, and is not done without thinking of
the Creator.
A fine geological specimen of fossil
tracks was found a few days ago In Braln
erd's quarry, In Portland, at a depth of 130
feet below the surface. The stone is about
2X ft et long by 2 feet wide and fi of an inoh
tmck. On the upper side, as the stone lay
when found, there are eight tracks, evi
dently made by some animal about the size. "n
or a large dog. They are absolutely perfect
In shape, representing the toes and tne ball
of the foot.
BAZAR BCZZING3.
Mr. Dolley Now, I don't believe in
signs.
Miss Flypp "Wen, I do. Now, forlostanee, there
Is one I believe In.
It was an Ice cream sign, and the young thing's
belief cost DoUey 50 cents.
"Miss Gasket, I love you dearly," con
fessed yonng Mr. Smltbers.
"I'm so glad," replied Miss Gasket, fervently.
'You make me Intensely happy," replied the
yonug man.
"I bope I shall continue to do so, for I am to be
your stepmother."
"I wonder why there is a rule against
children in so many flats?"
"Probably because there Isn't room for them to
p-ow." j
'Let's see Ta-ta-ta-ta how would yon j
nltch this song of mine?"
Ontor the window."
"My barber is a hustler. He's got out a
new sign now."
"What is it?"
"Bald heads polished to look like new."
Lives of failures oft remind ns
Into fame perchance we'U strut.
If the gravest crises and ns
With onr months kept tighUy shut.
Alice (aged 7 years) Papa, were there
kw lire rebels after the batUe of BnU Run?
ask that?
Alice-Uncle George told me aBont the battle last
night, and I thought he had killed them all.
Willie Wangle I aimed that shotgun of
yours at mamma's dressmaker to-day, and she was
so scareJ that she ran away.
Mr. Wangle Yon did. eh? Well, you're a good,
boy. Come oat In the back yard and I will show
you how to use that gun.
"What has come over Johnny? He keeps
his face so clean."
Ves. Hebalessotohaveliwasnea."
"Why, my dear," said Mr. Mawbid to
Mrs. Mawbid, "you simply bristle with pins. That A
hatptnoryours will put somebody'scye out." A
I think not." said Mrs. M. "I hope not; bnt
I most wear It this way, because this Is bargain day
at Lacy Jones', and I don't know how else I can
get through the crowd to the counter."
Miss Oldgirl (gushingly) So this U
Snste's baby? I ran't reailie it! Just hearth
dear little fellow "Mam, mam, mini" I wonder
If he thinks I am his mother?
Colored nurse (uncompromisingly veracious) -Mam.
mam's what be calls his gran'ma,
"Hbw late the spring Is this yearl"
"Yes, indeed. Everything wlU be pat back, J
suppose. I dare say the Fourth of July won't
along mucn before August."
M
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