0 '
i - ''. ' "
16 t . -THE
.5Eti
tbf
blinded by your affection blinded to these
minor defectsf which, are bo manifest to
"Minor delects.' uo juu tan mew ""
AVliat are muraer ana arsuu,
a difficult question to answe
defects?
pray?'
"it
ftraicht ofl, and of course estimates otsuf
things iary v.nu cuiuuuuiu,. - .
Jout our way, they would notneces;
.earilv attract as much attention as ifth
yet they are often regarded th dfsap'.
'proval "
"Murder and arson reed wilh di
proval?"
"Oh, frequently."
"With dUappjvall "Who are tho.e
Puritans you a: talking about? But wait
how did 5u come to know bo much
about thKaniily? Where did jou get all
this h'say evidence?"
'iSly, it isn't hearsay evidence. That
is the serious part of it. I knew that fam
ily, personally."
This was a surprise.
"You? You actually knew them?"
"Knew Zylo, as.we'used to call him, and
"fccew his lather, Dr. Snodgrass. I didn't
know your own Snodgrass, but hare had
glimpses of him from time to time, and I
heard about him all the time. He was the
common talk, you see, on account of his "
"On account of his not being a house
burner or an assassin, I suppose. That
would have made him commonplace. "Where
did you know these people?"
"In Cherokee Strip."
"Oh, how preposterous 1 There are not
enough people in Cherokee Strip to give
anybody a reputation, good or bad. There
isn't a quorum. "Why, the whole popula
tion consists of a couple of wagon loads of
horse thieves."
Hawkins answered placidly
"Our friend was one of those wagon
loads."
Sally6 eyes burned and her breath came
quick and last, but she kept a fairly eood
grip on her anger and did not let it get the I
PITTSBURG- , IDISPATCH.. SUNDAY. , MARCH 27. 1892.
in anv book. T trv the nfvc
ers, but they do put such rubbish in
m. You take up a paper ana start to
ad something you thiut's interesting, and
it goes on and on and on. about how some-
,,
body well, Dr. Snodgrass; for instance '
2tot a movement from Tracy, not the
quiver of a muscle. Sally wolj amazed
what command of himself he must have.
Keing disconcerted, she paused so long that
Tracy presently looked up wearily and
said:
"Well?"
"Oh, thousht that you were not listening.
Yes it Soes u and ou about thJs Dr. Snod
grass till you are soared, and then about
his younger son the favorite eon Zylo
bolsamum Snodgrass "
Xot a sicn from Tracy, wbo;e head was
drooping again. What supernatural self
possession. Sally fixed her eyes on him and
began again, resolved to blast him out of his
serenity this time if she knew how to apply
the dynamite that is concealed in certain
forms of words when those words are prop
erly loaded with unexpected meanings.
"And next it goes ou and on and on about
the eldest son not the favorite, this one
and how he is neslected in his poor barren
boyhood, and allowed to grow up un
schooled, ignorant, coarse, vulgar, the com
rade of the community's scum, and become
in his completed manhood 3 rude, profane,
dissipated ri'ffian "
That head still drooped! Sally rose.moved
coftly and solemnly a step or two and stood
before Tracy his head came slowlv up, his
meek eves met her intense ones then she
finished with deep impressiveness:
"named bpinal jucningitis fcnnagrass.
Tracy merely exhibited signs of increased
fatigue. The girl was outraged by this iron
indifference and callousness and cried out
"What are you made of?"
"I? Why?"
"Haven't you any sensitiveness? "Qon't
these things touch any poor remnant of
delicate feelin:
'JK-no," he
in youy
said wonderingly, "they
- -CS' x'VH-v&
FIJ.-ALLT THERE WAS A QUIET 'WEDDrKO AT THE TOWER.
advantage of her tongue. The statesman
tat still and waited for developments. He
was content with his work. It was as hand
eonie a piece ot diplomatic art as he had
ever turned out, he thought; and now, let
the girl make her own choice. He judged
she would let her specter go; he hadn't a
doubt of it, in fact; but anyway, let the
choice be made, and he was ready to ratify
it and offer no fuither hindrance.
Meanwhile Sally had thought her case
out and made up her mind. To the major's
disappointment the verdict was against
him. Sally said :
"He has no friend but me, and I will not
desert him now. I will not marry him if
his moral character is bad; but if he can
prove that it isn't I will and he shall have
the chance. To me he seems utterly good
and dear; I have never seen anything about
him that looked otherwise except of
course, his calling himself an earl's son.
Maybe that is only vanity, and no real
harm, when you get'to the bottom of it. I
do not believe he is any Euch person as you
hare painted him. I want to see him. I
want you to find him and send him to me.
1 will implore him to be honest with me,
and tell me the whole truth and not be
ufrai.l."
"Very well; if that is your decision I will
do it. liut, Sally, you" know, he's poor,
and "
"Oli, I don't care anything about that.
That's neither here nor there. Will you
Dric mm to me.
"I'll do it "When?"
"O. dear, if "s getting toward dark now,
and so you'll have to put it ofl till morning.
But you will find him in the mornirig, won't
jou" Promise."
"111 have him here by daylight."
"Oh, now you're your own old self again
and lovelier than'erer."
"I couldn't ask fairer than that. Goodby,
dear."
Sally mused a moment alone, then said
earnestly: "I lore him in spite of his name!"
end went about her affairs with a light
heart.
Hawkins went straight to the telegraph
office and disburdened his conscience. He
taid to himself, "She's not going to give
this galvanized cadarer up that's plain.
"Wild horses can't pull her away from him.
IAc done my share; It's for Sellers to take
an inninsnow." So he sent this message
to New York:
Come back. Hire a special train. She's
(joins to marry tlie matciializee.
Meantime a note came to Eossmore
Towers to tay that the IZarl of Eossmore
had just arrived irom England, and would
do himself the pleasure of calling in the
evening. Sally said to herself:
"It's a pity he didn't stop in Isew York;
but it's no matter; he can go up to-morrow
end see my father; lie has come over here
to tomahawk papa very likely, or buy out
his claim. This thing would have excited
me a while back, but it lias only one inter
est for me now, and only one value, I can
ray to to Spine, Spiny, Spinal I don't
like any form of that name! I can say to him
to-morrow: Don't trv to keep it up any more
or I shall ha e to tell you whom I have been
talking with last night, and then you will
be embarrassed."
Tracy couldn't know he was to be invited
for the morrow, or he might have waited.
As it was, he was too miserable to wait any
longer; for his last hope a letter had
Jailed bim. It was lully due to-day; it had
not come. Had his father really flung him
away? It looked so. It was not like his
lather, but it surely looked so. His father
was a rather tough nut, in truth, but had
never been so with his son still, this im
placable silence had a calamitous look.
Anyway, Tracy would go to the Towers and
then what?" He didn't know; his head
was tired out with thinking he wouldn't
think about what he must do or say let it
ell take care of itself. So that he saw Sally
once more he would be satisfied, happen
what might he wouldn't care.
He hardly knew how he got to the Tow
ers, or when. He knew and cared lor only
one thing he was alone with Sally. She
was kind, she was gentle, there was mois
ture in her eye:, and a yearning something
in her face and manner which sne could not
wholly hide but Bhe kept her distance.
They talked. Byand by she said, watching
hi downcast countenance out of the corner
ol her eye:
"It's so lonesome with papa and mamma
jone. I try to read, but I can't seem to get
don't seem to. "Why Bhould they?"
"Oh, dear me, how can yon look so inno
cent and foolish and good and emptv and
gentle, and all that, rieht in the hearing of
such things as those! Look me in the ere
straight in the eye. There; now, thenj an
swear me without a flinch. Isn't Dr. Snod
grass your lather, .and isn't Zylobolsamum
your brother?" (Here Hawkins was about
to enter the room, but changed his mind
upon hearing these words-and elected lor a
walk down town, and so glided swiftly
away.) "And isn't yonr name Spinal
Meningitis, and isn't your father a doctor
and an idiot, like all the family for srenera
tions, and doesn't he name all his children
after poisons and pestilences and abnormal
auatomical eccentricities of the human
body? Answer me, some way or somehow
and quick. Why do you sit there, look
ing like an enrelope withoufany address ou
it, ana see me going inaa belore your face
with suspense!"
"Oh, I wish I could do do I wish I
could do something anything that would
giro you.peace again and make you happy;
but I know of nothing I know of no war.
I have never heard "of these awful people
before."
"What? Say it again!"
"I have never, never in my life till
now."
"Oh, you do look so honest when you say
that! It must be trne cnrelv von ronldn't
look that way, you wouldn't look that way
ii it were not true, would you?
"I couldn't and wouldn't It-is true. Oh,
let us end this Eufferiug. Take me back
into your heart and confidence "
"Wait one more thing. Tell me tou
told that falsehood out of mere vanity and
are sorry for it; that you are not expecting
to ever wear the coronet of an Earl"
"Truly I am cured cured this very day
I am not expecting it!"
"0, now you are mine. I've got you back
in the beauty and glory of your unsmirched
poverty and'your honorable obscurity, and
nobody shall ever take'vou from me again
but the grave! And if" ,
"De Earl of Eossmore, .from Englah'!"
"My father!" The young man released
the girl and hung his head.
The old gentleman stood surveying the
couple the one with a stroncly compli
mentary right eye, the other with" a mixed
expression done with the left This is diffi
cult, and not often resorted to. Presently
his lace relaxed into a kind of constructive
gentleness, and he said to his son:
"Don't you think you could embrace me,
too?"
The young man did it with alacrity.
"Then you are the son of an earl, after
all," said Sally, reproachfully.
"Yes, I-"
"Then I won't have youl"
"n v.nt t-, !,
"Xo, I will not Yo
lib."
"She's right Goawav and leave ns. T
want to talk with her."
Berkeley was obliged toga But ie did
not go iai. He remained on the premises.
At midnight the conference between the
old gentleman and the voung girl was still
going blithely on, but it presently drew to
a close, and the former said:
"I came all the war over here to Inspect
you, my dear, with'tho general idea of
breaking off this match if there were two
lools ot yon, but as there's' only one, you
can have him it you'll take him."
"Indeed I will, then! Mav I kiss you?"
"You may. Thank you. '.Now vou shall
have that privilege whenever "you are
good."
Meantime Hawking had long ago re
turned and slipped up to the laboratory.
He was rather disconcerted 'to find his
late invention, Snodgrass, there. The news
was told him; that the English Eossmore
was come, "and I'm his son, ' Viscount
Berkeley, not Howard Tracy any more."
Hawkins was .aghast He said: ,
"Good gracious, then you're dead!"
"Dead?" ,
"Yes, you are we've got your ashes.'
"Hang those ashes, I'm tired of them; I'll
give them to my lather."
Slowly and painfully the statesman
worked the truth-into his head that this was
really a flesh and blood young man, and not
the unsubstantial resurrection he and
Sellers had so long supposed him to be.
Then he said with feeling: j
poor thing. We took oa ioi departed J
materialized bank thief from Talilequah.
This will be a heavy blow to Sellers."
Then he explained the whole matter to
Berkelev, who said:
"Wei!, the claimant must manage to stand
the blow, severe as it is. But he'll get over
the disappointment"
"Who the Colonel? He'll get over it
the minute he invents a new miracle to take
its place. And ne's already at it by this
time. But look here what do you suppose
became of the man you've been represent
ing all this time?"
"I don't know. I saved his clothes it
was all I could da I am afraid he lost his
life."
"Well you must have found $20,000 or
130,000 in those clothes in money or certifi
cates of deposit"
"No, I found only f500 and a trifle and
banked the $500.
"Wbat'll we do about it?"
"Eeturn it to the owner." .
"It's easy said, but not easy to manage.
Let's leave "it alone till we get Sellers' ad
vice. And that reminds me, I've got to
run and meet Sellers and explain who ycu
arc not and who you are, or he'll come
thundering in here to stop his daughter
from marrying a phantom. But suppose
your father came over here to break off the
match?"
"Well, isn't he down stairs getting ac
quainted with Sally? That's all safe."
So Hawkins departed to meet and prepare
the Sellerses.
Eossmore Towers saw great times and late
hours during the succeeding week. The
two earls were such opposites in nature
that they fraternized at once. Sellers said
prirately that Eossmore was the most ex
traordinary character he had erer met a
man just made out of the condensed milk
of human kindness, yet with the ability to
totally hide the fact lrom any but the most
practiced character reader; a man whose
whole being was sweetness, patience and
charitv. vet with a cunnin? so profound, an
ability so marvelous in the acting of a
double part, that many a person ot consider
able intelligence, might lire with him lor
centuries and nerer suspect the presence in
him of these characteristics.
Finally there was a quiet wedding at the
Towers, instead of a big one at the British
Embassy, with the militia and the fire brig
ades and the temperance organizations on
band in torchlight procession, as at first
proposed by one of the earls. The art firm
and Barrow were present at the wedding
and the tinner and Puss had been invited,
but the tinner was ill and Puss was nurs
ing him for they were engaged.
The Sellerses were to go to England with
their new allies lor a brief visit, but when
it was time to take the train from Wash
ington the Colonel was missing. Hawkins
was going as far as New York with the
party, and said he would explain the matter
on the road. The explanation was in a
letter left by tho. Colonel in Hawkins'
hands. In it he promised to join Mrs.
Sellers later, in England, and then went on
to sav:
"The truth is, my dear -Hawkins, a
mighty idea has been born to me within the
hour, and I must not even stop to say
goodby to my dear ones. A man's highest
duty takes precedence of all minor ones,
and must be attended to with his best
promptness and energy, at whatsoever cost
to his affections or his convenience. And
first of all a man's duty is his duty to his
own honor; he must 'keep that spotless.
Mine is threatened. When I was feeling
sure of my imminent future solidity, I for
warded to the Czar of Russia, perhaps pre
maturely, an offer for the purchase of
Siberia, naming a vast sum. Since then an
BUKDETTE IN RHYME.
The Man Who .WllLXot Understand
Typified by a Mad Woman.
SHE HAD GOT AIECTDKE WR0KG
And the Tired lecturer Didn't Trj to Bet
Her Eight About It,
R0MANCIHG AHOUT ARTISTIC GENIUS
CWBITTEIf rOBTHBDISPATCH.l
Tou may reason with a fool till his addled
brain grows clear:
Tou may teach an Idiot how to think If you
will persevere; .
But all the patience, all tne wisdom ever
learned or planned
Can't teach n lesson to the man who will not
understand.
You can teach a pig the alphabet, I reckon,
if you try;
A parrot may be taught to read, a man may
learn to fly:
It's possible that men may learn to twist a
rope from sand;
But the angels couldn't teach the man who
won't understand.
Patient men hare trained the restless winds
to tow our ships;
The deaf man hears yon talking Dy the mo
tion of your lips:
Men have -broken fleas to harness, to be
driven four-in-hand;
But you cannot lead or drive a man who
won't understand.
Spiders teach us how to put up screens
njrjlnst the flies;
Blind men teach their teachers how to read
without their eye;
Each living thin-; in all the world has an
swered some demnnd, .
Except the man who doesn't want to learn
to understand.
The granite rock will shiver at the ten hun-diedthblow:
The April sun will smile away the mountain
drift of snow;
The lightning's bolt will pierce the frozen
heart of Ai ctic land.
But nothing shakes the putty man, who
won't undei stand.
From the cold and sullen flint the steel can
waken Bpai'ks of Are:
The slave's dumb soul, hrave Freedom's
touch, with courage will Inspire;
The miser throws away his gold at Duty's
stern command:
But nothing moves the pntty man he will
noi unuorstana.
He's theie Just where he's always been,
nnd tliero he's coins to stay,
Through time and half eternity, forever and
a day;
He cannot tnrob, nor Quiver, nor thrill, nor
stand or fall;
Nor run, nor flv, nor laugh, nor cry he's
putty that is all.
I reckon when old Time at last has run his
lona, long lace.
And the Universe noes crashing off in end-
ei, .starless space.
There's Just one thing that won't be In the
transformation grand
The putty man; he'll see it all, but will not
understand.
Good Folks Who Understand Wromj.
Well nigh as trying to the spirit of
patient man as the Puttv Man is that inno
cent class of human beings who always
understand just the opposite of what vou
what they had to bear. She knew; she
used to teach school herself. I ought to
get up and apologize to that institute: it
was a shame that anyone should be allowed
to come there and fairly insult a class
of people who deserved "so well from us as
the district school teachers. And much
more of the same medicine did I receive.
Well, did I try to explain to her that she
had misunderstood me; did I attempt to
correct her misapprehension? Hot much;
I had got over that long asro; I used to
do so, but it made my hair fall out and my
eyes bloodshot, so I quit it I recognize
the species on sight now. I meekly took
the part she assigned me and played it, de
fending my conception of it as best I.could.
There was nothing else to do. Six straight
weeks of denial and elaborate explanation,"
supported by affidavits of trustworthy wit
seises wouldn't hare convinced that wo
man that I hadn't said just what she thought
I did. J
A PLEA FOR THE FAIR.
episode has warned me that the method by ?eaD' 7no near wh,r yu. Uo not say, in
which I n neeted to jNinin H-i mnn.r I fact. Innocent, well-meaning, good, hon-
. :-,; ;" - , . ,. ... " pst- I
materialization upon a scale oi limitless
You've told me another
magnitude is marred br a taint of tempo.
rary uncertainty. His Imperial Majesty
may accept my offer at any momeut. If
this should occur now, I should find myself
painfully embarrassed, in fact, financially
inadequate. I could not take Siberia. This
would become known, and my credit would
suffer.
"Eecently my private hours have been
dark indeed, but the sun shines again now.
I see my way. I shall be able to meet my
obligations, and without having to ask an
extension of the stipulated time, I think.
This grand new idea of mine the sub
limcst I have ever conceived will save me
whole, I am sure. I am leaving for San
Francisco this moment to test it by the help
of the great Lick telescope. Like" all of my
more notable discoveries and inventions it
is based upon hard, practical scientific laws.
All other oases are unsound, and hence un
trustworthy. "In brief, then, I have conceived the
stupendous ideaot reorganizing the climates
of the earth according to the desire ot the
populations interested. That is to say, I
will furnish climates to order, for cash or
negotiable paper, taking the old climates in
part payment, of course, at a fair discount,
where they are in condition to be repaired
at small cost and let out lorhire to poor and
icu-uie cuujujuiiiiies not aoie to auoru a
good climate, and not caring for an expen
sive one for mere display. My studies have
convinced me' that the regulation ot cli
mates and the breeding of new varieties at
will from the old stock is a feasible thing.
Inde.ed, I am convinced that it has been
done before; done in prehistoric times by
now lorgotten and unrecorded civilizations.
Everywhere I find hoary evidences of arti
ficial manipulation of climates in bygone
times. Take the glacial period. Was that
produced by accident? Hot at all; it was
done for money. I have a thousand proofs
ol it, and will some day reveal them.
'I will confide to yon an outline of my
idea. It is to utilize the spots on the sun
get control of them, you understand, and
apply the stupendous energies which they
wield to beneficent purposes in the reorgan
izing of our climates. At present they
merely make trouble and do harm in the
evoking of cvclones and other kinds of elec
tric storms; hut once under humane and in
telligent control, this will cease and they
will become a boon to man.
"I have my plan all mapped oat whereby
I hope and expect to acquire complete and
perfect control of the sun spots, also details
of the methods whereby I shall employ the
same commercially; bdt I will not venture
to go into particulars before the patents
shall have been issued. I shall hope and
expect to sell shop rights to the minor
countries at a reasonable figure, and supply
a good business article ol climate to the
great empires at special rates, together with
iancy brands lor coronations, battles and
other great and particular occasions. There
are billions of money in this enterprise, no
expensive plant is required, and I shall be
gin to realize in a few days in a lew weeks
at farthest. I shall stand ready to pay cash
for Siberia the moment it is delivered, and
thus save my honor and my credit I am
confident of this.
"I would like yon to provide a proper
ouiiu ana suiri onn as soon as 1 telegraph.
yoube it night or be it day. I wish you to
take up all the country stretching away
from the north pole on all sides for many
aegrees soutn, ana Duy Greenland and Ice
land at the best figure you can get now
while they are cheap. It is my intention to
move one of the tropics up there and trans
fer the irigid zone to the equator. I will
hare the entire arctic circle in the market
as a summer resort next year, and will use
the surplusage of the old climate, over and
above what can be utilized on the equator
to reduce the temperature of opposition re
sorts. But I have said enough to give you
an idea of the prodigious nature of my
scheme nnd the feasible and enormously
profitable character of it. I shall join all
you happy people in England as soon as I
shall have sold out some of my principal
climates and arranged with the Czar about
Siberia.
"Meantime, watch for a sign from me.
Eight 'days from now we shall be wide
asunder, lor I shall be on the border of the
Pacific and you lar out on the Atlantic, ap
proaching England. That day, if I am
alive, and.my sublime discoverr is proved
and established, I will send you greeting,
and my messenger shall deliver it where
you are, in the solitudes of the sea; for I
will waft a vast sun spot across the disk
like drifting smoke and you will know it
for my love sign, and will say 'Mulberry
Sellers throws us a kiss across the uni
verse.'" the end.
But lots at Kensincton and von will
make money.
est, stupid, excellent, puddinz-headed peo
ple. You make a simple statement, and
with labored effort at puerile simplicity you
strive to make it so plain that the wayfar
ing man can understand it with one fiand
tied behind him. And straightaway one of
these good people will no and repeat, word
for word, just exactly what you didn't say,
what you ncvpr said" in alL your life, what
you don't believe and couldn't be hired to
sav.
This they do, not from malice thev
wouldn't intentionally misrepresent you fo'r
anything in the world but just because it
is inherent with them; because, hafing ears,
they hear not anything just as it is said.
They are not bad "people. They try in re
peating a message or statement, as Uncle
Eemus says, "to gin it unter you ez de tale
IT lk
1 mi! nil il. il,1 1 1 H MKi
-JMp
HHM ft mn
Rattling Around in a Wue Man's Place.
Bearing at a StrabUmio Angl.
It would have mixed liar up worse and
worse, and If wo kept at It lontf enough, ana
made it blear enough, the would have hd
me Indicted for tnautkuglitor, testifying
that with her own ears sua had heard mo
confess to poiaonliig no lei than tbreo
school teaohers, because I did not like the
way they taucht lonir division. This one
just happened to be a woman; you have
known men who were "crotj-caretJ," just
the same, and heard everything at astraou
mio angle. The .quietest and easiest way
out of that trouble was for me to plead
guilty to a crime I hadn't committed.
Now. most trying are these people, be
cause they are well meaning. If they were
malicious you could I don't say you
would but if it would be any comfort to
you, you could.quarrel with them. But you
dislike to do that. There is no intentional
barm in them. They do mischief now and
then three or four times a day maybe but
itis like the mischief of a boy playing
with matches in the haymow. You
wouldn't be inhuman enough to class the
boy with incendiaries and want him sent to
the penitentiary for life. His play burns
up your barn and hay, just the same. The
only thing one can do is not to let the boy
have matches. Alter these harmless people
who always misunderstand you become
pretty generally known to the communitv,
they are not verv danrrerans. Evervbodv
learns that their statements must be sub
mitted to the local Brortning Society lor
analysis before they can be accepted.
An Illustration From Football.
When I was a schoolboy, centuries ags,
when we played football as she is spoke,and
kicked the ball with our leet instead of
carrying it around in our arms like a water
melon, we had one boy Andrew Buckwal
ter who always kicked the ball with his
iustep, rather than with his toe. The nat
ural result of .this eccentrio play, as any boy
can readily see, was that the harder he
kicked the worse it was for hivwn side, for
he invariably sent the ball over his head,
flying tar, far behind him.
Consequently, wheuever, in the course of
a hotly contested game, he obtained posses
sion of the boll, the welkin, which we al
ways stretched over the ball ground so that
the game need not be called in case of rain,
would ring with agonized shrieks from all
the teiiows on his side: "Turn around,
Andy I turn around I" If we could only
get him to kick with his back to the foe, he
was a strong player. He was always the
last boy chosen, and the side that got him
went to its place like men going to the den
tist's all the fellows wringing their hands
and moaning.
So, when you have anything to say to
these people who are cross-eyed in their
bearing, you should say ' it backward, say
just what you don't mean, and they will
transpose it and get it straight as a string.
As It Is In the Morel.
Have you' "ever wondered, but of
course you have when you read a
novel in which the hero is a young man
with long hair, split at the -ends, and a
fringe of goose-down whiskers prematurely
born, which give him in your mental por
trait of him you see him in real life, too,
sometimes the impression of. a bearded
baby, have you ever wondered when you
come to the chapter in which he writes his
book this kind of a hero is always literary
writes in a single night, scribbling away
like a mad man, throwing the pages of
manuscript over his shoulder, strewing the
room with them, knee deep, thick as
autumnal leaves that strew the brooks in
Valparaso, writes all night, candle goes out,
keeps on writing by moonlight; moon goes
down, writes on by starlight; ink stand runs
dry, makes no diffi; writes right along with
scratches; writes "JFiuis," just as the sun
rises; sinks back in his chair, pale, cold,
wan he always gets wan and not a bit
hungry; book jjoe to press same day; is put
on the market next day; whole world goes
wild over it; crowds besiege publishing
houses and bookstores; presses running
night and day; author's name on every
body's lips; book thrills the world to beat
"Kobert Elsmere" or "Peck's Bad Boy,"
nothing like it in all literature have you
ever wonacrea wnere you coma get a copy
of that book? I have often.
But when I went to the book stores, I
never knew the name ot it, and when I
described it the clerk always told me it was
out ot print, and then tried to show me their
now spring line of half gilt wall papers and
window shades. Same way with the mu
sicians and artists in the novels. The won
derful work these people do in the norels
always impresses me. hopelessly and rather
sadly. They resemble the real people as
the freckled negative resembles the "toned"
photograph. They are meteors in the book.
But
Be
Bessie Bramble Thinks Western Penn
sylvania Women Are Slow.
THE SEX ABROAD IS AT WORK.
England Will Lead America if i'omethinu
Is Not Done at Once.
THE DISPOSITION FOR QUARRELING
"WBITTXJf TOB THIS DISPATCIT.1
Judging by the reports it would seem as
if the "women of Europe were taking more
interest in the. "World's Fair than those of
Pittsburg. Everybody here says there is
plenty of time the Fair does not open for
a year hence yet everybody knows how a
year flies away. Hardly have we got the
wear and tear of our Christmas over, than
another is at hand. That old Roman Stoic,
Seneca, while declaiming on the brevity of
life says: "Our lives are spent either in
doing nothing at all, or in doing nothing to
the purpose, or in doing, nothing that we
ought to do. We are always complaining
our days are few, and acting as if there were
no end to them."
That he described the people of to-day as
well as those of Borne in the days of Nero
requires no proof. The sage old proverb,
"Never put off till to-morrow what can be
done to-day," is, indeed, in great danger of
being reversed into, "Never do to-day what
can be put off until to-morrow."
What Allegheny county is doing as to
the great Fair is as yet hardly possible to
know, but it behooves the women to have it
in mind, and let no grass grow under their
feet for the honor of the county and' the
glory of our great State of Pennsylvania.
None of us want to go to Chicago and
Feel Small Over Oar Exhlb't.
None of us desire to have it said that the
women of Western Pennsylvania are of the
down-foot order. None of us widi to have
it on record that the women of this region
oehind in the matter of brains and
war gun ter me," but it simply just isn't in
them to do it. And it is ot'no earthly use
to try to explain to these people what you
did say, or what you meant by what you
didn't say, but which they thought nay
which they know you did. Explanations
only confound the confusion. Preachers
suffer more from these people than any
other men In the world. Sometimes when
these people tell me what their pastor says
in his sermons, I wonder that preachers can
live to be over 40 years old.
The Kole of an Innocent Criminal.
One time, "in the past hours weak and
gray," I was called to stand before a teach
ers' institute many times had I been called
upon to stand up before one solitary school
teacher, and I never stood there any longer
than I had to and rattle around in the
place .of a wise man who had got on the
wrong train and was wandering around in
Maryland trying to get to an institute in
Ohio." I delivered myself of a few im
pressive remarks for the audience to torget,
and among a few thousand other things, in
order to illustrate some cloudy point, I
drew a picture oi a district school teacher
as a living statue of patient fidelity to duty.
I pictured her as best I could, and I did
it all the more cordially because I had once
taught a district school myself, and, as I
Knew tnat sne possessed all the qualifica
tions I lacked, I colored her portrait most
faithfully with my own deficiencies. -I
dwelt upon her devotion to her calling; her
patience under the thousand and one
monotonous and yet ever changing crosses
and perplexities and .petty annoyances of
her daily lite; her self restraint and gentle
ness; her cheerful acceptance of poor, in
adequate 'and of times grudgingly bestowed
rewards for all her patient toil; did the best
I could; in .a poor war with an excellent
subject, and went to my seat with the com
placent air of a boy who thinks he has
earned "10" because he recited the part of
the lesson'he knew the best
A Woman Who Wouldn't Understand.
Well, straight to my side, unable to con
tain her growing wrath until the tardy ad
journment of the session, came a woman
with fire in her eye, full to her very top
knot of sarcasm and indignation, consider
able quantities of which escaped at her lips
on the way up. Didn't she give me a dress
ing down, in sibilant whispers, to the great
delight of all the teachers in our neighbor
hood, who craned" their necks to hear the
exhortation? Sbe said I "ought to be
ashamed of myself, to stand up there, be
fore this institute and find fault with school
teachers for losidg- their patience now and
then; what right. had' I to call them cross?
"They were no crosser than other people;
On the Billow or the Rail,
Hostetter's Stomach Bitters are a most de
sirable companion for the traveler. They
are an excellent remedy for the nausea and
fatigue wnlch many persons suffer who
travel by water or land. Visitors to ma
larious localities should have it with tb'etn
as a safeguard. Incomparable for bilious
ness, dyspepsia and bowel complaint, and as
lnot neirlj io enat, vbm one oonlideredj tiTT-Stoge . S e PP la
(Dedicated to Capricornns. the eonr.
lnr the experience of ono who has often
ueen crushed by late, to say nothing of
feet.)
THE S1SOEB.
Her white hands over the white tev
atiayed, but her soul was above the stars';
and the far-off loot in her eyesbetrayed the
Are In the wayward bars. Then the spirit
found birth in a burst of fonff, for music
held her bands, and full-horn harmony
flowed alongr like the cadence of angel
hands. The listening multitudes thronged
to hear, and weeping they went away, aflre
and tremble with love and lear, to dream
aud to do, and pray.
The lodgers upstairs and across the street
praved heaven the noiso miprht cease, and
rent their garments and stamped their feet,
and shouted "Police! Police."
THE ABTIST.
Long, long at the flro with head bowed
down, he Razed at the embers' glow, till mid
night paused o'er the slumbering town, and
the waning moon sank low. Then his dark
oyes burned with a genius rare, to the easel
he sprang with a bound, and wrought by the
glimmering 11 relight there while thesliadows
gathered round. And all night long till the
Sale, pale, dawn looUed in at his casement
im, ne painted the "Song of the Dyin-r
Swan," and the song she sane for bim. The
wondering throngs of awe struck men knelt
low at the Dream ho had wroucht, for he
Sainted the soul of the Where and Then, the
;ever. and Which and Ought.
BUT
When It was dry, he took Is down, and
bore it away from thence, and sold it for
trold in a distant town, four dollars and
fifty cents.
,THE POET.
Be could not sleep for the stars were call
ing, the spaces of bue burned white for
him; the whispers of night u round him fall
In;; went up through the ether clear and
dim. It were profane to light a taper, low
on the breast of the night he leaned; he
found in the dark some ink and paper, and
then wim nis lace Dy cue st.irnsnt screened,
he wrote with a pen which went swiftly
winging over the pases that flew away.
"The Songs of tight" which tho X ight as
singing, the joyous hope of the Coming Day:
thoughts that would live for aye and for
ever, words that would be when time was
past, dreams pf To-llorrow, Yesterday,
.Sever, Bbymes that would Sun and Stars
outlast
BUT
He carted 'em down next day to the sane
tnm "Kpuc. then," ho cried, "what the
Mute declares!" Straight to the door the
Editor yanlced 'urn and fired 'em down
three flights of stairs.
Kobert J. Bcbpette.
ability. And most surely we do not want
these to be represented by samplers and
patchwork, hair flowers and "sich."
Sometimes it comes to mind that the old
Blue. Laws have sat down more hardly upon
the women of this region than iu other
places; that the old Puritanic intolerance
of a hundred years ago has found less resist
ance hereabout than anywhere; that the
deep cloud of Calvinism, with its dreadful
doom of eternal death, has left less heart to
work for the things of this world in this
region than in other places; that the spirit
which crushes the powers of geniu, and
dooms a woman with creative faculty as an
artist or a writer to cook cabbage and at
tend to the divine drudgery of dishwashing
is more long abiding " and prevalent
under Blue Law rule than any other. Only
so short a time ago as that when Mrs. Swiss
helm wrote, she says she and the other
farmers' wives were expected to dig pota
toes, gather apples, milk all of the cows, in
addition to their housework, while the
"men folks" pitched horseshoes to work off
their surplus vitality. What the fact may
be we caunot tell, but the supposition is,
from tales yet told that the supporting aqd
defending of the "divine institution" of
slavery held out longer under the Blue
Laws in Western Pennsylvania than any
where north of Dixie. The man who laid
out, and named Wilkinsburg in honor of
William Wilkins, held slaves under Divine
law as'then laid down by the preachers, and
believed by the people. This not so long
ago. xne iilue .Laws concerning women
still exist, only for the purpose of giving
weapons to bad men, and to the disgrace of
the" legislators.
Women Prone to Qaarret
However,.we must get back to the World's
Fair. Thi end of the State must make a
creditable showing, and, to that end, must
take time by the forelock, and the women
when the appointed time comes must stand
ready, like the wise virgins, with their
lamps well filled and burning. "But how
women do fight," saysa beloved brothei?-(in
the pulpit sense) jeerihgly. They no sooner
get into an affair of great importance like
the World's Fair, than they "fall into the
silly little squabbles with which they en
liven their small church fairs and strawberry
festivals, when Mrs. A says Mrs. B is the
meanest thing she ever saw, and Mrs. B re
torts that considering the source, nothing
better could be expected of Mrs. A,
and so on. But, it may be said, it
is never quite safe for "the pot to call the
kettle black." It may be true that the
skirmish between Mrs."Palpier, the Presi
dent ot the Women s uoaid, and Phoebe
Cousins, the Secretary, showed little angelic
spirit on either side, liut how could it,
when somen are not angels? Nothing is
more likely than that, in her position as
President, Mrs. Palmer will have a deal of
opposttion to encounter as lull of bitterness
as that shown by Mrs. Charlotte Smith.
According to the law of compensation,
those holdiug a position with high honors
must endure its penalties. Mrs. Palmer,
doing her best and utmost for the Fair, will
encounter fault finders in plenty and op
ponents not a few. But that is to be ex
pected. When was it otherwise that per
sons in place and power escaped reproach?
"Censure is the tax a man pays to the pub
lic for being eminent."
"But how women do fight." They can't
conduct things in a business-like way. They
can't keep their tempers. Men never fight
They keep calm and "composy" at all times.
They ate dignified, and never call names,
nor do anything of that sort
I.lsht on the Other Side.
And yet without going too far back it is
somewhere recorded that in the halls of
Conzress John Adams, first Vice President
of the United States, had his nose pulled
and his mouth slapped by a Mr. Jams. If
our history is right John Randolph in the
sacred Senate called Daniel AVebster "a
vile slandeier," denounced John Adams as
"a traitor" and Livingston, of New
York, he pronounced "the most
contemptible and degraded of beings, whom
no man ought to touch save with a pair of
tongs." Headers of political history will
recall, too, the fights of Benton and Clay, of
Cilly and Graves, which ended in a dnel ot
John Quincy Adams and Henry A. AVisc;
of Breckenridge and Cutting, who called
each other liars on the floor of the House
with such acrimony as would have ended in
a duel, save for the interference ot the
President and other friends. Then there
was the fight in which Charles Sumner was
almost killed; the free row, when ICeitt, of
South Carolim, called our Galusha A. Grow
"a black Republican puppy," and when
ererybodr Quakers, Pretbytenans and
Episcopalians otherwise eminent states
men, pitched in pell mell and pounded each
other right and left
More melees might be noted among the
highest representatires, where they were
hardly distinguished lor calm dignity and
cool reason. Then for freedom lrom dis
pute, absence of acrimony, and presence ot
peace we hare the General Assembly of
Presbrterians, the General Conference of
the Methodists, and the meetings of all the
"big guns." ot theology for illustrious ex
amples. Ha! ha! To, sav nothing of the
little meetings where the brethren can
hardly keep their coats on.
Women will squabble. So will men.
Human nature is human nature.
French Womrin Are Interested.
Foreign women seem to be showing avast
interest in the Fair, aud something rare
and beyond the common has already been
promised by the women of France. One
proposition is to produce here the "Ode
Triumphale," which was composed by
Madame Augusta Holmes for the Paris Ex
position. When the French Government
decided to hare a musical festival there, a
competition was opened and composers in
vited to submit their scores. The prize was
won by Madame Holmes. Who was it
said the other day that a woman could not
compose music had no talent in that line?
The English Board of Managers is com
posed of the most eminent and advanced
women of the country, headed bv the Prin
cess Christian, a daughter of the Queen, and
including Lady Salisbury, Baroness Burdett
Coutts, Countess of Aberdeen, Lady Brassy,
Mrs. Fawcett, Mrs. Fenwick and others.
As all of the work of women of England
cannot be shown, the committee has decided
on exhibiting only what English women can
do best Among other things "nursing"
will be made a prominent feature. It will
include a sick room fitted up with every
new, practical and approved appliance,
with a competent nurse in costume to dis
play it As a model hospital is already ar
ranged for in the Fair, this English exhibit
will serve to contrast the methods of the
two countries and end ultimately in the
"survival of the fittest."
An exhibition of English cookery was ad
vised against by the head of afiairs, he ap
fiarently not feeling proud of their excel
ence in this line. This is a pity,
for it can hardly be much
worse than our own, and might
easily be better. A-comparison wo aid be
instructive in showing ud the defects of
both. Ladr Aberdeen has charge of the
Irish industries. Mrs. Powers-Laior is an
ticipating great benefits to the Irish peaf
antryfrom her exhibit of their cottage in
dustries, organized as a measure of benevo
lence. What Gorman Woman Will Send.
German women havo had llttlo chance as
yet to show what tboy will do no commit
tee, by the lords and bosas, having as yet
been appointed. Mrs. Palmer has applied
to the German Government lor permission
to copy the great bronze doors of Strasbarg
Cathedral. These are the most famous doors
in the world, and it appears that these were
designed and executed by SabiuaSteinbock,
the sister of the architect of the great
Cathedral. This sister, as related, was his
adviser and assistant all through the work,
and the doors stand as a monument to her
brains and skill. A copy of these is earn
estly desired for the entrance of the Wom
an's building.- This work is to be done by a
German woman, if possible, and if not by
an American artist of sufficient skill. The
women of the Netherlands are in full heart
and at work, and will send a fine exhibit
Perhaps no other displar of women's
work will surpass that of "Sweden as set
forth thus early. In wood carving, litho
graphy, modeling, decorative painting, de
signing of all kinds, and art embroideries
they excel. One Swedish woman is
the engraver of all the royal
medals at the mint, and specimens
of her work will be displayed. Laces from
the Convent of St Brigitta, famed for fine-'
ness and beauty, will be shown, and also
tne wore or women who have won the palm
of excellence in composing music. (Here
we are running up against women as com
posers of music again" when it has been as
serted over and over that women could not
compose.)
The women of Bohemia send word they
do not want to hare their exhibit massed
with that of, Austria. With a good snow of
pride of race they desire to stand on their
own merits. It will consist of rare laces,
embroideries and needlework, some of these.
heirlooms, dating back to the thirteenth
century. Queen Marguerite will send her
historical collection of laces and jewels, and
willhelp in the display of the doings of
Italian women. Scotland and Wales hare
applied for space, and their exhibit will be
behind none in interest
liven Japanese Women Rrpresented.
An exhibition of the skill of Japanese
women is also promised and arranged for.
A committee of these women of whom Sir
Edwin Arnold speaks so tenderly and
loringly was hoped lor, but the Japanese
Commissioner said they were not sufficiently
advanced to take hold of such work.
Thus it will be seen that the women of
the world are largely awake and are taking
more interest in the advancement of woman
than might hare been supposed. It will be
seen also that Mrs. Palmer is pushing thines
rigorously. Let every woman be prepared
to help, and not hinder. Let all he de
termined to organize victory.
The news comes irom England that the
Fair has caused the most thorough nprising
in popular sentiment that has been called
iorth by any movement within the century.
What England is doing is unparalleled ont
side of the United States, and her magnifi
cent display is guaranteed by her honor and
lame historically and commercially.
This means that it will, keep American
women nipping and tucking to maintain the
supremacy of which they hare long been
boasting. They showed what they could do
in the way of great sanitary fairs during the
war, but those were to make money. Any
device and design to rake in cash for the
cause was acceptable, but in the World's
Fair it is the intention only to show talent
and genius,skill and excellence, as indicative
ol the industrial advancement of- women
throughout the world.
Bessie Beamblh.
The offices ot the Burrell Improvement
Company, operating the Kensington prop
erties, are now at No. 70 Fourth avenue,
Pittsburg, Pa.
DON'T DELAY TO
Stop that cooghl Else the bronchial
tubes will be enlarged and the delicats
tissues of tho lungs exposed to injury.
No other medicine is so speedily opera
tive in throat and lung troubles as
Ayer's Cherry Pectoral. A few doses
have been known to break up an ob
stinate and distressing cough. Sufferers
from asthma, bronchitis, croup, con
sumption, soro throat, and whooping
cough find a sure relief in the nse of this
preparation. It
flamed mem
motes expecto
dnces repose.
out it in the house.
Try
soothes the in
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Don't be with-
Sallie E. Stone,
Hurt's store, Va., writes : " I have found,
in my family, that Ayer's'Cherry Pecto
ral was always a certain cure for colds
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"Five years ago I had a constant
cough, night sweats, -was greatly re
duced in flesh, and had been given up by
my physicians. I began to take Ayer's
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cured." AngaA.Lefvls,Kicard,N.Y.
Ayer's CherryPectoral
Prepared by Dr. 3. C.A yer & Co., Lowell, Man.
. SoldbyallDrnggijts. Price $1; lixbottlei.SS.
Ask your doctor what hap
pens to cod-liver oil when it
gets inside of you.
He will say it is shaken
and broken up into tiny
drops, becomes an emulsion ;
there are other changes, but
this is the first.
He will tell you also that
it is' economy to take the oil
broken up, as it is in Scott's
Emulsion, rather than bur
den yourself with this work.
You skip the taste too.
Let us send you an inter
esting book On CAREFUL LIV
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Scott & Bowne, Chemists, 133 South sth ArauuL
New York.
Your druggist keeps Scstrs Emulsion of eod-llrer
oil ail drusgis:; everywhere do. $ x.
3
MEDICAL. '
DOCTOR
WHITTIER
814 l'ENX AVENDE, 1'IXTSBUKG, VA.
As old residents know and back flies o;
Pittsburg papers prove, is the oldest estab
lished and most prominent physician in the
city.devotins specialattentinn toali cliron'.o
8ST5.N0 FEE UNTIL CURED
sponsible KipnrQ and mental dis
persons ISUn V UUO eases, physical do
cav, nervous debility, lack of ener-ty. ambi
tion and hope, impaired memory," diordered
stall r. self distrust, bashfulnes-", dizziness
sleeplessness, pimples, eruptions, impover
ished Dlood, ldilinsr powers, organic -weakness.
dyspeDSia. constipation, consumption,
unfitting the person forbusiness.society and
marriage, permanently, afely and privately
icnnroad.iBL00D AND SKIN?S
eruptions, blotches.fallin-r hair.bones,nain3,
glandnlar swellings, ulcerations of the
tonjrne, mouth, throat, ulcers, old sores, are
cured for life, and blood poisons thoroughly
eradicated froml IDIM A DV kidnev and
the system. Ulllll All I .bladder de
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symptoms receive searchin-r treament
Drompt relief and real cures.
Dr. Whtttier9 life-Ion;: extensive experi
ence lnsnres scientific and reliable treat
ment on common sense principles. Consulta
tion fiee. Pationts at distance as carefully
treated as If here. Office hours, 9.. v. to
p.m. Sunday, 10 a. jr. to 1 r. it." only. DR.
WHITTIER, 811 Pen avenue, Pittsburg, Pa.
J Ja8-43-D3uwk
JAPANESB
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This remedy has positively nerer heen known to
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re
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Placed on the Retired List, with
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time methods, pills, and mercurial
and poisonous lotions and potions
sold for constipation, indigestion, or
stomach diseases of all kinds, and in
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Eisner &Mendelson Co., Sole-Agents,
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IriifiwTi A -tt ilrtHfTlitafnP
Before and Afip- Wood's Phosphodixe: It
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leave his dishonest store. Inclose price In letter,
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Miss Lottie CAitsoif.of Sara
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Tor all CHEONIC, OEGAHI0 mnS
NERVOUS DISEASES in luth -
Bar Blt till tod read thl. hMt. laat
THE PERU CHEMICAL CO., HIIWAVIU. WIS
WEAK MEN
Etc. We will send von a valna
of cbxTEe, containing full part cuure for a ?p-
nr 1
Power. Stmmm Of
Mlify. IjmC MuW.
Eta. We will send yon a valuable book (sealed) -.
roil Daracuurs or a ?pc-riy "
Permanent cure. Adrtrfss: sax jiateh .".-
SU OIIto -iti-pot. St. Lnnls. Mo.
DR. SAXDEX'S
ELECTRIC BELT
CONSUMPTION.
Ih&reapoeitiroremedAor th aboTO disease; bjiU
use thousands of cases of the wont kind and of long
Btandma hare been cured. Indeed so strong Is my faith
in its efficacy, that I will send two bottles fuze, with
a VALUABLE TREATISE on this disease to any suf
ferer who will send me their Express and P. O. address.
T. A. Slocnm, M. C. 183 Pearl St.", N. Y.
de22-U-wksa
FREE TO MEN
Wehre a polttve cure for tlie effects of Klf-itam
Xrl7xeetfi9,Emi3sions,KerTou9lebllitr,Lo8iOfSexTiml
Powtr,Impotencr&c SogTeatlsoarfauhlncurspcifla
we will Kad one fall month's ma-llclise and modi
nlaabl b lnfor-nattoa FREE. Addreia ,
-M6.Jf. Co.. BSS roadiwy. 3(0 York.
myll-23a
With Electro-Magnetic Suspensory '
Latest ratents! Best Improvements!
Will care without medicine all Weaknes reselling
from over-taxation of brain, nerve forces, ex
cesses br Indiscretion, as exhaustion, nervous de
bility, sleeplessness, languor, rheumatism, kid
ney, liver and bladder complaints, lame back, lum
bdgo. sciatica, -(eiit-ral Ill-health, etc." This Elec
tric Belt contains wonderful Improvements over
all others, and gives a rnrrcnt that Is Instantly relt
by wearer or we forfeit J-,000. and will cure all of
the above diseases or no pay? Thousands have
been cured by this marvelous Invention after all
other remedies failed, and we give hundreds of
testimonials In this and everr other Stale.
Our Powerlul UtPROVSD ELECTRIC SUS
PENSORY, the greatest boon ever offered weak
men. FREE with ALL BELTS. Health and Ttgor
ous strength GUARANTEED In 60 to 90 davs. Send
for Illustrated pamphlets, mailed, sealed, free.
Address.
8A2TOTST ELECTKIC CO,
el-UMT8Sa . Jfo.n3Broadwr.SwTr f