EgsssjwagBi
W&FiF'
fvm-
16
through Burke, and I find that of "William
the Conqueror's 64 natural ch my dear,
would vou mind setting me that book? It's
on the "escritoire in our boudoir. Yes, as I
was saying, there's only St Albans, Buc
cleugh and Grafton ahead of us on the list
all the rest oJ the British nobility are in
procession behind us. Ah, thanks, my lady.
Now, then, we turn to "William, and we
find letter for X Y Z? Oh, splendid
when'd yon get it?"
"Last night; but I was asleep before you
arae, vou were out so late; and when I
came to breakfast, Miss Gwendolen well,
she knocked everything out of me, you
inow."
"Wonderful girl, wonderful; her great
origin is detectable in her step, her car
riage, her features but, what does he say?
Come, this is exciting."
"I ha ven't read it er Bossm Mr. Boss
er "
"M'lord! Jnst cut it-short like that It's
the English way. I'll open it. Ah, now
Jet's see." '
rf Totr xicow toio Think I know you.
JL Wait 10 days. Coming to Washington.
The .excitement died out of both men's
faces. There was a brooding silence for a
vhile, then" the younger one said -with a
aigh:
""Whv, we can't wait ten days for the
money.'
"No the man's unreasonable; we are
down to the bed rock, financially speak
ing." "If we could explain to him in some way
that we are so situated that time is of the
Utmost importance to us "
"Yes yes, that's it and so if it wouldbe
us convenient for him to come at once it
Would be a great accommodation to us, and
toe which we "
"Which we wh "
"Well, which we should sincerely appre
ciate" "That's It and most cladly recipro
cate" "Certainly that'll fetch him. "Worded
Tight, if he's a man got any of the feelings
of a man, sympathies and all that, he'll be
here inside of 24 hours. Pen and paper
come, v.e'll get right at it."
Between them they framed 22 different
advertisements, but none were satisfactory.
A mam fs.ult in all of them was urgency.
IThat feature was very troublesome; if
made prominent it was calculated to ex
cite Pete's suspicion; if modified below
the suspicion point it was fist and mean
ingless. Finally, the Colonel resigned and
said:
"I have noticed, in such literary expe
riences a I have had, that one of the mest
taxing things to do is to conceal your mean
ing when you are trying to conceal it.
"Whereas, if you go at literature with a free
conscience and nothing to conceal, you can
turn out a book every time that the very
elect can't understand. They all da"
Then Hawkins resigned also, and the two
agreed that they must manage to wait the ten
!avs tomehow'or other. Next they caught
nrry of cheer; since they had something
definite to go upon now, they could probably
borrow money on the reward enough, at
Eny rate, to tide them over till they got it;
and meantime the materializing recipe
would be perfected, and then goodby to
trouble for pood and all.
The next day, May 10, a couple of things
happened among others: Tee remains of
tlie noble Arkansas twins left our shores for
England, consigned to Lord Bossm ore, and
Lord Bossmore's son. Kirkcudbright
Llanover Marjoribanks Sellers, Viscount
Berkelev, sailed from Liverpool for Amer
ica, to place the reversion of the earldom
in the hands of the rightful peer, Mulberry
Beliers, of Bossmore Towers, in the Dis
trict of Columbia, U. S. A.
These two impres-ive shipments would
meet and part in mid-Atlantic, five days
later, and give no sign.
CHAPTER "VX
In the course of time the twins arrived
nd were delivered to their great kinsman.
To try to describe the rage of that old man
would profit rothing, the attempt would
fall so far short of the purpose. However,
when he had worn himself out and got
quiet again, he looked the matter over and
decided that the tiring had some moral
rights, although they had no legal ones;
they were of his blood, and it could not be
decorous to treat them cs common clay. So
be laid them with their majestic kin in the
Cholmondeley church, with imposing state
end ceremony, and added the supreme
touch by officiating as chief mourner hin
eelf But he drew the line at hatchments
Our friends in "Washington watched the
weary days go by, while they waited for
Pete, and covered his name with reproaches
because of his calamitous procrastination.
Heantime Sally Sellers, who was as practi
cal and democratic as the Lady Gwendolen
Sellers was romantic and aristocratic, was
leading a life of intense interest and activ
ity, and setting the most ha could out of
ler double personality. All day long in
the privacy of her work-room Sally Sellers
earned bread for the Sellers familv, and all
the evening Lady Gwendolen Sellers sup
ported the Bossmore dignity. All day she
was American, practicall' . and proud of
the -work of her head and hands, and its
commercial results; all the evening she
took holiday and dwelt in a rich shadow
land peopled with titled and coreneted
fictions. By day, to her, the place was a
plain, uraffected, ramshackle old trap just
that, and nothing more; bv night it was
Itossmore Towers. At college she had
learned a trade without knowing it. The
girls had lound out that she was the de
signer of her own gowns. She had no
idle moments after that, and wanted
noise; for the exercise of an extraordi
nary gilt is the supremest pleasure
in life, and it was manifest that Sally Sellr
ers possessed a cift of that sort in the matter
of costume designing. "Within three days
Efler reaching home sne had hunted up
come work; before Pete was yet due in
"Washington, and before the twins were
fairly asleep in English soil she was already
nearly swamped with work, and the fscri
ficing of the family chromos for debt k.td
got an effective check.
Miss a price, Fa:d itossmore to tiie
Major; "just her father all over; prompt to
labor w3tn head or hands, and not ashamed
of it; capable, always capable, let the enter
prise be w hat it may; successful by nature
don't know w hat defeat is; thus, intensely
End practically American by inhaled nation
alism, and at the same time intensely and
aristocraticallv Eurbpsan by inherited no
bility ot blood. Just me, exactly; Mulberry
belters in matters of finance and invention;
alter oSce hours what do you find? The
Bume clothes, yes; but what's in them?
Eossmorc of the peerage."
The two friends had haunted the general
postoffice daily. At last they had their re
ward. Toward evening the 20th of May
they got a letter lor XYZ. It bore the
"Washington postmark; the note itself was
not dated. It said.
Ash barrel back ot lamp post Black horse
alley. If you are playing tqum e go and set
on It to-morrow morning 21st 1022 not sooner
sot later wait till I come.
The friends cogitated over the note pro
foundly. Presently the Earl said:
"Don't vou reckon he's afraid we are a
sheriff with, a requisition?"
"Why, m'lord.'"
"Because that's no place for a seance.
Nothing lricndly, nothing sociable about it
And at the same time, a body that wanted
to know who was roosting on that ash bar
rel, without exposing himself by going near
it or seeming to be interested in it, could
Just stand on the street corner and take a
glance down the alley and satisfy himself,
don't you see?"
"Ye"s, his idea is plain, now. He seems to
be a man that can't be candid and straight
forward. He acts as if he thought we
chucks, I wish he had come out like'ia man
and told us what hotel he "
"Now you've struck it! you've struck it
ecre, Washington; he has told us."
"Has he?"
"Ye, he has; but he didn't mean to.
That alley is a lonesome little pocke that
runs along one side of the new Gadsby.
j.cat s nis notet.
"What makes vou think that?"
"Vtny, j. just iccos-it He's cot a loom
that's just across from that lamp pcttf He's
comg to sit there perfectly comfortable be
hind his shutters at 1022 to-morroj
when he sees us sitting on the ash barrel,
he'll say to himself: 'I saw one of those fel
lon s on the trainV-and then he'll pack his
satchel in half a minute and ship for the
ends of the earth."
Hawkins turned sick with disappointment.
"Oh, dear, it's all up, Colonel lt'a ex
actly wnat ne it do." ,
"indeed he won't."
"Won't he? "Why?"
"Because you won't be holding the ash
barrel down, it'll be me. You'll be coming
in with an officer and a requisition in plain
clothes the officer. I mean the minute
you see him arrive and open up a talk with
me." .
"Well, what a head you have got, Colonel
Sellers! I never should have thought of
that in the world."
"If either would any Earl of Bossmore,
betwixt "William's contribution and Mul
berry, as Earl; but it's office hours nowjyou
see, and the Earl in me sleeps. Come, I'll
show you his very room."
They reached the neighborhood of the
New Gadsby about 9 in the evening, and
passed down the alley to the lamp post.
"There yon are," Eaid-the Colonel, tri
umphantly, with a wave of his hand, which
took in the whole side of the hotel. "There
it is what did I tell vou ?"
"Well, but why, Colonel, it's six stories
high. I don't quite make out which win
dow you "
"AH the windows, all of them. Let him
have his choice. I'm indifferent, now that
I have located him. You go and stand on
the corner .and wait;- I'll prospect the
hotel."
The Earl drifted here and there through
the swarmine lobbv, and finally took a
waiting position in the neighborhood of the
elevator. During an hour crowds went up
and crowds came down; and all complete as
to limbs; but at the last the watcher got a
glimpse of a figure that was satisfactory
got a glimpse of the back of it, though he
li3d missed his chance at the face through
waning alertness. The glimpse revealed a
cowboy hat, and below it a plaided sack of
rather loud pattern, and an empty sleeve
pinned np to the shoulder. Then the ele
vator snatched the vision aloft, and the
watcher fled away in joyful excitement
and rejoined the fellow conspirator.
"We've got him, Major got him sure I
I've seen him seen him good; and I don't
care where or when that man approaches
me backward, I'll recognize him every
time. We re all right .Now for the requi
sition." They got it after the delays usual in such
cases. By 11:30 they were at home and
happy, and went to bed full of dreams of
the morrow's great promise.
Among the elevator load which had the
suspect for .fellow-passenger was a young
kinsman of Mulberry Sellers, but Mnlberry
was not aware of it and didn't see him. It
was Viscount Berkeley.
CHAPTEB TIL
Arrived In his room, Lord Berkeley made
preparations for that first and last and all-thc-time
duty of the visiting Englishman
the jotting down in his diary of his "im
pressions" to date. His preparations con
sisted in ransacking his "box,' for a pen.
Thcro was plenty of steel pens on his table
with the ink bottle, but he was English.
The English people manufacture steel pens
for nineteen-twentieths of the globe, but
they never use any themselves. They use
exclusively the pre-historic quIIL My lord
not only found a quill pen, but the best one
he had seen In several years and after
writing diligently for some time, closed
with-ihe following entry:
But in one thin? 1 have made an Immense
mistake. I oujrht to have Bunk my title and
changed my name before I started.
He sat admiring that pen awhile, and
then went on:
All attempts to mingle with the common
people and become permanently one of
them are golns to fall, unless I can set rid
of it, disappear from it, and reappear with
the solid protection of a new name. 'I am
astonished and pained to sco how eager the
most of tlicso Americans are to got ac
quainted with a lord, and how diligent they
are in pushing attentions upon him. They
lack English servility, it is true but they
could acquire it, with practice. Jly quality
travels ahead of mo in the most mysterious
way. I write my family name withoit addi
tions on tho register of this hotel, and im
agine that I am going to pass for an obsenre
and unknown wanderer, but the cleric
promptlv calls out: "Front! show his lord
ship to 4S2!" and before I can get to the lift
there is a reporter trying to Interview me,
as they call it. This sort of thing shall ceaso
at once. I will hunt up the American claim
ant tho flrst thing in the morning, accom
plish my mission, then change my lodgirg
and vanish from scrutiny under a fictitious
name.
He left his diary on the table, where it"
would be hanay in case new impressions
should wake him up in the night; then he
went to bed and presently fell asleep. An
hour or two passed, and then he came slowly
t consciousness with a confusion of mys
terious and augmenting sounds hammering
at the gates of his brain for admission; the
next moment he was sharply awake, and
those sounds burst with the rush and roar
and boom of an undammed freshet into his
ears. Banging and slamming of shutters;
smashing of windows and the ringing clash
of falling glass; clatter of flying feet along
the halls; shrieks, supplications, dumb
moauings of despair within, hoarse shouts
of command outside; cracklings and snap-
Eings, and the windy roar of victorious
ames!
Bang! bang! bang! on the door, and a
cry:
"Turn out! The house is on fire!"
The cry passed on, and the banging. Lord
Berkeley sprang outof bed, andmoved with
ail possible speed toward the clothes press
in the darkness and the gathering smoke,
but fell over a chair and lost his bearings.
He groped desperately about on his hands,
and presently struck his head against the
table, and was deeply grateful, for it gave
him his bearings again, since it stood close
by the door. He seized his most precious
possession, his journaled "Impressions of
America, and darted from the room.
He ran down the deserted hall toward
MUST HE GO DOTTO IS HIS SPECTRAL NIGHT DRESSf
THE
the red lamp which he knew indicated the
place of a fire escape. The door of the
room beside it was open. In the room the
gas was burning full head; on a chair was a
pile of clothing. He ran to the window,
could not get it up, but smashed itwith a
chair, and stepped out on the landing of the
fire escape; below him was a crowd of men,
with a sprinkling of women and youth,
massed in a ruddy light. Must he go down
in his spectral night dress? No this side
of the house was not yet on fire except at
the further end; he would snatch on those
clothes. "Which he did. They fitted well
enough, thongh a trifle loosely; they were
just a shade loud as to pattern. Also as to4
hat which was of new breed to him, Buf
falo Bill not having been to England yet.
One side of the coat went on, but the other
side refused; one ct the sleeves was turned
up and stitched to the shoulder. He started
down without waiting to get it loose, made
the trip successfully, and was promptly
hustled outside the limit rope by the
police.
The cowboy hat and the coat but half on
made him too much of a center of attraction
for comfort, although nothing could be
more profoundly respectful, not to say
deferential, than' was the manner of the
crowd toward him. In his mind he framed
a discouraged remark for early entry in his
diary: "It is of no use; they know a lord
through any disguise, and show awe of him
even something very like fear, indeed."
Presently one of the gaping and adoring
half-circle of boys ventured a timid ques-
tion. My lord answered it. The boys
glanced wonderingly at each other, and
from somewhere fell the comment:
"English cowboy! "Well, if that ain't
curious."
Another mental note to be preserved for
the diarv: "Cowboy. Now, what might a
cowboy be? Perhaps" But the Viscount
perceived that some more questions were
about to be asked; so he worked his way out
of the crowd, released the sleeve, put on
the coat and wandered away to seek an
humble and obscure lodging. He found it,
and went to bed and was soon asleep.
In the morning he examined his clothes.
They were rather assertive, it seemed to
him, but they were new and clean, at any
rate. There was considerable property in
the pockets. Item, five S100 bills. Item,
near ?00 in small bills and silver. Plug of
tobacco. Hymn book, which refuses to
open, found to contain whisky. Memo
randum book bearing no name. "Scattering
entries in it, recording in a scrawling, ig
norant hand, appointments, bets, horse
trades, and so on, with people of strange
hyphenated names Six-Fingered Jake,
Young-Man-Afraid-of-His-Shadow, and the
like. No letters, no documents.
The young man muses maps out his"
course. His letter of credit is burned; he
will borrow the small bills and the silver in
these pockets, apply part of it to advertis
ing for the owner, 'and use the rest for sus
tenance while he seeks work. He sends
out for the morning paper next, and pro
ceeds to read about the fire. The biggest
line in the display head announces his own
death. The body of the account furnishes
all the particulars; and tells how, with the
inherited heroism of his caste, he went on
raving women and children until escape for
himself was impossible; then, with the eyes
of weeping multitudes upon him, he stood
with folded arms, and sternly awaited the
approach of the devouring fiend; "and so
standing, amid a tossing sea of flame and
on-rushing billows of smoke, the noble
young heir of the great house of Bossmore
was caught up in a whirlwind of fiery glory,
and disappeared forever from the vision of
men."
The thing was so fine and generous and
knightly that it bronght the moisture to his
eyes. Presently he said to himself: "What
to do is as plain as dav now. Mv Lord
Berkelev is dead let him stay so. Died
creditably, too; that will make the calamity
the easier for my father. And I don't have
to report to the American claimant now.
Yes, nothing could be better than the way
matters havp turned out. I have only to
furnish myself with a new name and take
my new start in life totally untrammelled.
Now I breathe my first breath of real free
dom; and how fresh and breezy and inspir
ing it is! At last I am a man! A man on
equal terms with my neighbor; and by my
manhood, and by it alone, I shall rise and
be seen of the world, or I shall sink from
sight, and deserve it This is the gladest
day, and the proudest, that ever poured its
sun upon my head.
OHAPTEK VUL
"God bless my soul, Hawkins. " '
The morning paper dropped from the
Colonel's nervous grasp.
"What is it?"
"He's gone the bright, the young, the
gifted, the noblest of the illustrious race
gone. Gone up in flames and unimaginable
glory."
"Who?"
"My precious, precious young kinsman
Kirkcudbright Llanover Marjoribanks Sel
lers Viscount Berkeley, son' and heir of
usurping Bossmore."
"No."
"Its true too true.
"When?"
"Last night."
"Where?"
"Bight here in Washington, where he
arrived from England last night, the papers
say."
"You don't say."
"Hotel burned down,"
"What hotel?"
"The new Gadsby."
"Oh, my goodness! And have we lost
both of them?"
"Both who?"
"One-arm Pete."
"Oh, great guns, I forgot Jail about him.
Oh, I hope not."
"Hope? Well, I should say. Oh, we
can't spare him. We can better afford to
lose a million viscounts than our only cup
port and stay."
They searched the paper diligently, and
were appaiiea to una mat one-armta
PITTSBURG- DISPATCH.
had been seen flying, along one of the halls
of the hotel In his underclothing and ap-
Earently out ot his head with fright, and as
e.would listen to no one and persisted in
making for a stairway which would carry
him to certain death,' his case was given
over as la hopeless one.
"Poor fellow," sighed Hawkins; "and he
had friends so near. I wish we hadn't come
away from there maybe we could have
saved him.
The Earl looked up and said calmly:
"His being dead doesn't matter. He was
uncertain before. We've got him, sure,thls
time."
"Got him? How?"
"I will materialize him."
"Bossmore, don't don't trifle with me.
Do you mean that? Can you do it?"
"I can do it, just as sure as you are sit
ting there. And I wilL"
"Give me your hand and let me havethe
comfort of shaking it, as I was perishing,
and you have put new life into me. Get at
it, oh, get at it right away." '
"It will take a little time, Hawkins, but
there's no hurry, none in the world in the
circumstances. And, of course, certain
duties have devolved upon me tiow, which
necessarily claim my first attention. This
poor voung nobleman "
"Why, yes, I am sorrv for my heartless
ness, and you, smitten with this new family
affliction. Of course you must materialize
him first I quite understand that."
"I I well, I wasn't meaning just that,
but why, what am I thinking of! Of
course I must materialize him. Oh, Haw
kins, selfishness is the bottom trait in
human nature; I was only thinking that
now, with the usurper's heir out of the
way. But you'll forgive that momentary
weakness and forget it Don't ever re
member it against me, that Mulberry
bellers was once mean, enough to think the
thought that I was thinking. I'll material
ize him I will, on my honor and I'd do it
were he a thousand heirs jammed into one,
and stretching in a solid rank from here to
the stolen estates of Bossmore. and barring
the road forever to the rightful earl !"
"There spoke the real Sellers the other
had a false ring, old friend."
"Hawkins, my boy, it just occurs to me
a thing I kept forgetting to mention a mat
ter that we've got to be mighty careful
about."
. "What is that?"
"We must keep absolutely still about
these materializations. .Mind, not a hint of
them must ' escape not a hint. To say
nothing ot how my wifa and daughter-high-strung,
sensitive organizations might
feel about them, the negroes wouldn't stay
on the place a minute."
"That's true, they wouldn't It's well
you spoke, for I'm not naturally discreet
with my tongue when I'm not warned."
Sellers reached out and touched a bell
button in the wall, set his eye upon the
rear door and waited; touched it again and
waited, and just as Hawkins was remark
ing admiringly that tho Colonel was the
most progressive and most alert man he had
ever seen, in the matter of impressing into
his service every modern convenience the
moment it was invented, and always keep
ing breast to. breast with the drum major in
the great work of material civilization, he
forsook the button (which hadn't any wire
attached to it), rang a vast dinner bell
which stood on the table, and remarked that
he had tried that new-fangled dry battery,
now, to his entire satisfaction, and had got
enough of it, and added:
"Nothing would do Graham Bell but I
must try it; said the mere fact of my trying
it -would secure public confidence and get
it a chance to show what it could do. I told
him that in theory a dry battery was just a
curled darling, and no mistake, but when it
came to practice, sho! and here's the re
sult Was I right? What Bhould you say,
Washington Hawkins? You've seen me
try that button twice. Was I right? that's
the idea. Did I know what I was talking
about or didn't 1?"
"Well, you know how I feel about you.
Colonel Sellers, and always have felt It
seems to me that you always know every
thing about everything. If that man had
known you as I know you, he would have
taken your judgment at the start and
dropped his dry battery where it was."
"Did vou ring, Marse Sellers7"
"No, Marse Sellers didn't"
"Den it was you, Marse Washington. I"se
heah, suh."
"No, it was'nt Marse Washington,
either."
"De good Ian,' who did ring her den?"
"Lord Bossmore rang it!"
The old negro flung up his hands and ex
claimed: "Blame my skin if I hain't gone en forgit
dat name agin! Come heah, Jinny run
heah, honey."
Jjnny arrived.
"You take dish ver order de lord ewine
to give you. I's gwine down culler and
study dat name tell I git it."
'I take de order! Who's yo' nigger las'
year? De bell rung for you."
"Dat don't make no difference. -When a
bell ring for anybody, en old marster tell
me to"
"Clear out, and settle It In the kitchen!"
The noise of the quarreling presently
sank to a murmur in the distance, and tho
Earl added: "That's a trouble with old
house servants that were your slaves once
and have been your personal friends
always."
"Yes, and members of the family."
"Members of the family is just what thev
become the members of the family, in fact
And sometimes master and mistress of the
household. These two are mighty good and
loving and faithful and honest, but, hang it,
they do just about as they please; they chip
into a conversation wnenever iney want to,
and the plain fact is they ought to be
killed."
It was a random remark, but It gave him
an idea however, nothing could happen
without that result
"What I wanted, Hawkins, was to send
for the family and break the news to them."
"Oh, never mind bothering with the ser
vants then. I will go and bring them
down."
While he was gone the earl worked his
idea.
"Yes," he said to himself, "when I've
got the materializing down to a certaintv,
I will get Hawkins to kill them, and, after
that they will be under better control.
Without a doubt a materialized negro could
easily be hypnotized into a state resembling
silence. And this could be made perma
nent yes, and also modifiable, at will
sometimes very silent, sometimes turn on
more talk, more action, more emotion, ac
cording to what you want It's a prime,
good idea. Make it adjustable with a
screw or something."
The two ladies entered now with Haw
kins and the two negroes followed, unin
vited, and fell to brushing and dusting
around, for they perceived that there was
matter of interest to the fore, and were
willing to find out what it was.
Sellers broke the news with statellness
and cerenomy, first warning the ladies, with
gentle art, that a pang of peculiar sharp
ness was about to be inflicted upon their
hearts hearts still sore from a like hurt,
still lamenting a like loss then he took the
paper? and with trembling lips and with
tears in his voice he gave them that heroio
death picture.
The result was a very genuine outbreak of
sorrow and sympathy from all the hearers.
"Have thev found the body, Bossmore?"
asked the wife.
"Yes, that is, they've found several. It
must be one of them, but none of them are
recognizable."
"What are you going to do?"
"I am going down there and identify one
of them and send it home to the stricken
father."
"But, papa, did you ever see the young
man?"
"No, Gwendolen why?"
"How will you identity it?"
"I well, you know, it says none of them
are recognizable. I'll send his father one
of them there's probably no choice."
Gwendolen knew It was not worth while
to argue the matter further, since her
father's mind was made up, and there was
a chance for him to appear upon that sad
scene down yonder in an authentic and
official way. So she saifl no more until he
asked for a basket
"A basket, papa? What for?"
"Itmight be ashes."
SUNDAY. '. JANUARY,
RIDING OYER PARIS.
Four Systems of Rapid Transit Slower
but Better Thau Ours.
THE TWO-STORIED OMNIBUSES.
Dellghtftd Trips on tho Kiyer Seine on
Pretty Little Eoats.
A HOJTOPOLT'S DEAL WITH THB CITT
rCOKSZBFOHBXirCX Or IBS DISFATCH.l
Paris, Jan. C.
CITY cannot be
said to have a sat
isfactory system of
public transit until
its people can go
from one end to the
other speedily and
cheaply and with
out danger of de
lays, accidents,
chills or fevers.
Paris has no rapid
transit in our
American sense of
the phrase no un
derground or eleva
ted roads, cable or
electric cars. But
she has some
things which we
have not conveni
ence, security me
thod. She does not
ask you to wait on
.4merfca'j Syttem.
the sidewalk in tho rain. She does not
translate omnibus "always room for more."
She does not carry you off into a strange
part of the city and set you down without
connections to the right or . left. In short
she avoids several of the besetting sins of
American transit and thus gains in a degree
what we seek by speed alone.
There are four means of oity travel In
Paris the omnibuses, street cars, cabs and
river boats. About the only difference be
tween the first two is that one runs on a
track and the other does not Both have
their fixed courses, both are drawn by ,
RAPID TRANSIT
horses, the plans of construction are simi
lar, the price the same.
Tho Big Two-Story Vehicles.
Ordinarily these huge two-story vehicles
accommodate 40 or 41 persons with seats
and six more are allowed to stand on the
plaflbrm. Twenty of the seats are Inside;
20 more on tho imperiale, as the roof is
called. Theimperiale is reached by a stair
case running up behind and to my mind it
is the pick of the places. Here one gets
the air and that most fantastic of Parisian
spectacles, the street, and he pavs just
half the price of a seat below, that is 3
cents instead of C. At first one may feci
about the imperiale as the Egyptian who
said to a friend of mine when she described
to him the high buildings of Chicago, "Ah
Mile., they are too near the Good God,"
but he gets over his hesitancv after his first
rfdc Nothing manufactured is firmer on
its feet than a Parisian omnibus. In stormy
weather the imperiale is out of the question
because uncovered.
All the omnibus and street ear lines of
Paris are managed by one company, ex
cepting
two short lines in the suburbs.
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THE TWO-STOUT BUSSES AND A STATION.
This company has an exclusive privilege
until 1910. It pays the city for each omni
bus S400 a year, for each tram car ?300. In
1890 this tax amounted to 5327,400. Besides
its licenses the company is Obliged to as
sist the city in disposing of the snow in win
ter and in sprinkling saud on slippery
pavements in wet or icy weather. On de
mand it must furnish 500 carts with men
and horses for the former service.
The Compagnie Generale des Omnibus is
strictlv under the direction of the city au
thorities and in all cases where the public
demands improvements which the company
hesitates to make the municipal council can,
if it thinks best, compel it to action. For
example, there has long been a demand that
the omnibuses be heated in winter. The
company has pleaded various excuses but
as it has been demonstrated that the vehi
cles can be warmed at an expense of but
8 cents a day, and as the accounts of the
company show that it is well s'bfe to afford
this outlay, the counsel has ! -en consider
ing this winter the advisabiiiiy : using its
authority. Under this iu.ci- o', ihe com
pany has become tractable tuii the Presi
dent has recently- annoiincj'l that before
long we shall be able to ride in Parisian
omnibuses with onr feet on a hot brick and
doors closed. He also hinted that covered
imperiales are not out of the question.
A System of Beserved Seats.
There are many conveniences in vogue on
the lines. The little stations which occur
'every two or three blocks enable pne to be
comfortable white waiting his car. The ar
rangement for giving a number at these
stations, by which a seat is Becured in the
coming carriage if there are not too many
numbers given out before you is an ad
mirable feature of the system. When all
the seats arc exhausted a placard appears at
the end, "Complet," and no one is allowed
to enter until somebody gets out. It is
when full that a Parisian omnibus ever re-
ftMetottep Mirou tatloaa, TJfflyiil J
IT. ,189a
is a prolonged hiss. One can dismount at
any point
A convenient system of correspondence in
tickets is also carried on, by which, if there
is no direct line to one's destination, he can
change to another without paying extra
fare. The method of marking the car Is
both simple and sufficient On each side is
a long sign bearing the names of the ter
mini," as "Modeline-Bastile." Below are
the names of all the principal places passed
en route. ' At the end is the name of the
terminus to' which the car is bound. It re
quires unusual stupidity to take the wrong
car in Paris.
The most serious fault is that at certain
hours there are lines on which a congestion
always occurs. The company being obliged
to pay so large a license for each car of
course avoids putting on more than will ac
commodate the ordinary demand.
The speed is not great but as satisfactory
as can be expected fro"m horses. The Par
isian omnibus horse is a stalwart beast
trained by degrees to a steady trot. No
lover of horseflesh can visit Paris without
taking delight in his splendid proportions
(he usually comes from Normandy or
Perclie), his intelligence, and his kind
liness. His treatment explains his behavior.
For 61G omnibuses which the company ran
in 1890 it furnished each,daily, an average of
14 95-100 horses. They are ordinarily driven
three abreast and the three must match in
color and size. One bay, one gray and one
black would be an offense for which the
compagnie generale would have to answer to
a severe tribunal the public taste of Paris.
The food of the horse is the result of long
study. Their quarters are the best When
they become "run down," their eet are
sore, or any accident happens to them they
are retired for recruiting to a farm near
Paris which the company keep as a sani
tarium for its four-footed servants.
Ilorsss Far Better Than Men.
It is pretty certain that the compagnie
generate des omnibas takes better care of
its.horses than it does of its men. The
strike of the latter in Mav last brought out
the fact that they were obliged to work 15
and 16 hours a dav. Hard service it is, too,
andtlepay is smalL The first year they
receive ?1 or ?1 10 a day; each year after an
increase of 10 cents a day is given them.
The strike in the spring was terminated by
the company reducing the hours to 12. This
contract, the men claim, has not been faith
fully kept, and they threatened to leave
their work again in November, but fortu
nately the matter was adjusted.
One of the most familiar of Parisian
street sights is the line of public cabs which
stands near every place of interest The
shining carriage, the well-kept horses, gen
erally with their noses in dingy oat bags;
the red-faced drivers dozing on the boxes,
gossiping in groups or drinking in some con-
OS THE RIVER.
venient rendezvous des cochus; the auto
matic moving up of the whole line when a
carriage is taken out, are features that
everybody who has seen Paris will remem
ber. There are about 10,000 of these public
carrage in Paris at present, nearly 8,000 of
them belong to the Compagnie Generale des
Voitures. This great monopoly had its
beginning in 1855. In 1862 it obtained the
exclusive privilege of running cabs and
public carriages in Paris until 1910. In re
turn for its franchise it was to pay the city
a franc (20 cents) a day for each carriage,
was to be subject to the authorities, and
was to divide its surplus revenues. In 1866
the privilege was revoked and the cab. busi
ness made free to all who would submit'to
the municipal regulations and pay the
license. The company went to the courts
and obtained a judgment against the cily
for $00,000 a year each year until 1910.
The tariff is the same for all public car
riages: 30 cents a drive for two persons, or
40 cents a drive for,foar persons, or 50 cents
an hour. The inevitable pourvoire for the
drive must be added to this. The
cheap rates put the cabs within the reach of
the poor and it is no unusual thing to see
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VTlli
BO?
on Sundays and holidays, family parties of
four or more "doing" the swell drives of
the Bois de Boulogne in a one-horse cab.
Bltlins: on the Itlvpr Seine.
The most delightful method of transit in
Paris is by the river boats. The Seine runs
from east to west through the city, almost
touching the center at one point. On it
there are three lines of boats, which in 1889
carried 29,653,435 passengers an unusual
number because of the Exposition. The
boats are creat favorites, especially with
tourists it they discover them, which they
do not alwavs do. They are light steamers
with two cabins and one deck. The former
are warmed in winter, the latter covered in
summer. They fly noiselessly up and down
the river, for they carry no whistle, their
only signal with a sound being a bell, which
the conductor rins at the stations.
The cost of riding is very low 2 cents
within the city limits, except on Sundays
and holidays, then 4. For peTsons living
near the river they are especially conven
ient, as their stopping places usually are
not far from the omnibus bureaus.
The comfort and convenience of these
boats is equaled by the pleasure they give.
Bunning Detween the massive quays and
under the stately bridges, they pas3 one
view nf beauty atter another. From their
decks can be seen with peculiar effect Notre
Dame, the Hotel de Ville, the Louvre, the
Eificl Toner, and hosts of less famous
places. The shifting river scenes, the heavy
barges, the unloading of- coal and flour and
wiue, the bathing of dogs and horses, and a
thousand other picturesque sights add to
the interest of the ride. Would that all
cities which are so fortunate r.s "to be
threaded by rivers would make of them as
delightful a means of transportation as (ho
city of Paris has made of the Seine.
Ida M. Tabbkll.
ITubkitubb upholstered and repaired.
HATJOK & KTetcttatt, 83 Water street
&a3t5&:5z 3fi
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NEW YOEK'S SPASMS.
Every Once in Awhile the Dizzy Old
Town Gets Awfully Moral.
A FEW MURDERS BRING THEM ON.
Htm the Slumming Habit Brinzs the
Metropolis $250,000 a. Night
FEESH GOSSIP FROM MUEEATS PEN
rcoimr.sposDENCi or thi DisrATCn.i
New York, Jan. 16. "If this moral re
form wave keeps np," muttered a hotel
livery man with a sigh, "there won't be
anything worth seeing in New York. You
might as well be in Philadelphia. First
they shut all the games, then they jumped
on the pool room3, and now they're going in
to close all the dives. When a guest asks
"me now what he can do with himself to
speed a night, I tell him he can go to the
theater and then go and look at the
Cathedral by moonlight or go to bed. There
ain't anything else. That is, there ain't
anything wide open. No moral waves can
shut people off from deviltry, but this
crusade business shuts it out of the general
view.
"It never lasts long," he added cheer
fully, as if the moral wave interfered in
some way with business. "It does," said
he when the suggestion was thrown out
"It injures business. Perhaps you never
saw it in that light, but I tell you that not
less than an average of 20,000 strangers are
staying in New York to-night because it is
New York, and not beeause they have any
busines, and there -are as many every night
in the year. Not less than 10,000 of them
are slumming around every night in the
year 'seeing the sights.' During the 24
hours they are at it they drop from $10 to
f?500 apiece. Put it at an average of 520
there's $200,000. a day. A quarter of a
million a day would not be too high a figure,
counting hotel bills. Now, that is let's
see," figuring on a card "that is from $70,
000,000 to $90,000,000 a year! N-no, I
don't know as we ought to let the laws be
violated and turn all sorts of immorality
loose just to draw a crowd. But it's fact
that every hotel man in New York Is per
fectly familiar with, that strangers don't
stay here and run around much if there
ain't no place running where they can see
something and if they don't stay and run
around they don't blow in much money.
See?" The tone of this lament would haye
made even Brother Talmage laugh.
Horr tho Moral Waves Wave.
There is something singular in these spas
modic official awakenings. The Goulds and
McGlorys spring right out of them. In a
few months' some reporter has a paragraph
about the resort A few months later the
"place" is reported to the police. The po
lice investigate and report "no evidence."
In the meantime the place becomes known
from Bangor, Me., to Brownsville, Tex, and
people 'from out of town on a drunk can
find it any hour of the day or night without
a guide. It runs all night and Sundays.
Scores of imitators spring up in every di
rection. There is not a xnan-about-town, a
newspaper man, a cab driver, a rounder of
any degree, but is perfectly familiar with
the facts. It is the police authority alone
that is ignorant. A fer months later some
body who has been knocked down or robbed
in the "place makes a loud complaint.
Then the newspapers take another whack
at it Whereupon the police authority
says "du tell!" It is astonished amazed.
It sends for the captain of the precinct The
captain of the precinct is also astonished
also amazed. He will inquire into it at
once. The newspapers print the interview
between the polic authority and the captain
of the precinct in full. The captain of the
precinct talks to the reporters freely
which is also printed. Then a special detail
is instructed to look into the "place."
They find nothins wrong about the "place."
So far as they can see it is nothing but an
ordinary, respectable eating house with the
usual all-night constituency. In a few more
months a man is murdered In the "place."
Then comes a perfect storm of indignation
from all sources. Then some arrests are
made. Prosecutions begin. Organized. raids
are made on the scores of imitators and
everybody marvels that such a state of
things can be. The moral wave sweeps
over the city and engulfs all transgressors
who have unheeded the repeated mutterings
of the coming storm. A month or so later
all is forgotten the "place" starts quietly
up again and the whole social scheme is
worked over once more. That is the way
it is in New York.
Scandal Is No Aid to Genius.
"When I hear a great artiste sing, or see
her play," said General Furlong, at the
Fifth Avenue, "any previously conceived
notions of her individuality fade from my
mind at once. All the miserable scandals I
mav have read about her are forgotten. I
see'aud hear only the genius that causes me
to forget them. When I first saw Bern
hardt abroad all Paris was ringing with her
reputation. 1 went to the Comedie Fran
caise full of the prejudice excited by these
stories. Five minutes after she appeared
on the stage I had dismissed everything but
the great artiste from my thoughts. People
who think scandal helps an actress are in
error genius survives scandal, buds and
blooms in spite of it If Bernhardt bad
lived an unspotted life she would now be
much greater than she is. Crimes against
good morals never helped anybody women
and men have merely risen to eminence in
spite of them."
A Man Carrying a Muff.
The other day a well-dressed man sat In a
Boulevard car going up town. The day was
cold, the car was full and the usual discom
forts of surface transit were turned on. The
man mentioned was the observed of all ob
servers. He carried a common black muff j
ASSOCIATION OF ACTING
OF THE
' Obsaxizxb 1SS3.
TKKASU1UCR.
RICHARD J. DUXGLISON, 2LD
ptTTTi-.fTpCT,li.
U. S.
F&ESr33T
J. METES JAeKSOX, 1LD,
C3XCAGO,lLX
OFFICE OF THE RECORDER.
Saisx, JIass., Starch 23, ISM.
When at Stuttgart, Germany, during the Winter 1S31-S2, 1 was suffering from a severe cttaclt
of Bronchitis, which seemed to threaten Pneumonia. I met at the Hotel Marqnardt, Commander '
Beardsjeeof tho United States Navy. In rpeaklng of my slcltness, he remEikcd : "Doctor, yon
can euro 'that chest troabio of yours by usln; anALLCocs's Porous Piosrsn." "Thatiaaybs
true?' I answered, "bat where can I get the plaster" "Anywhere In tho civilized world, and
surelyhere lnStnttgart Whenever I have a cold.! always use one and 2nd relief." Isenttothe
drug store for the piaster, and it did all that my friend had promised. Ever since then I have used
It whenever soff ering from a cold, and I have many times prescribed it for patients.
The AixcocK's PtAsim is tho best to be had, and has saved many from severe Illness, aad
undoubtedly, if used promptly, will save many valosblo lives. Whenever one has a severe cold
ho should pat on an Aixcock's Plasteb, as soon asposslble. It should be placed across the
chest, the upper margin jnst below the neck ; some hot beef tea, or milk, will aid In the treatment
This Is not a patent remedy In the oMectlonablo sense of that term, but a standard preparation jjL
of value. Tho government supplies for the United States Army and Indian Hospital stores contaia j, jjt
AixcocKs I'listeks, ana mo meaicai
profession throughout the world is well
aware of their reliability and excellence.
I shall always recommend It, not only
to break up colds, but as useful In alter
ing pains In the chest and In the back.
'It Is a preparation worthy of general
eoBgdeaoa.
t i r t
on his knees, his hands thrust in either ead,
and had a far-away look in his eyes. ' .The
ladies exchanged amued glances. The gen
tlemen regardea the muff with -various de
grees of wonder and contempt. ,
"Newest style" suggested one gentleman
to another.
"Yes; it's going to be a cold day to-morrow.
When you see the pigs carrying
straws "
"That beats me!" came in a stage whisper
from across the way.
"Wonder if he wears corsets," said an
other. .
"What is itanyhow?"
"Sorry I lorgot nrjr muff."
"I'll steal my wife's sealskin sack to
night" ""Poor fellow! Somebody ought to sea
him home safely."
Amid these remarks the man with the
muff sat quietly looking out of the window.
He must have overhead some of them he
must have known that he was the object of
universal curiosity and ridicule, but he
fave no sign. It appeared, however, that
e was only collecting himself for soma
final effort, for when he arose to leave the
car at Seventy-second street he suddenly
confronted his fellow passengers:
"This is my wife's muff," he said bluntly.
"She left it on the bargain counter. I
had to go back and get it I'm taking it
home. If you see anything funny in that
I'mdurnedifldo."
But everybody else did, somehow, for th
crowd broke into a shout of laughter. They
were laughing at each other.
Staff Some Men Are Made OS.
A heavy truck loaded with lumber was
being driven slowly along Thirty-third
street Monday morning. In front of a small
combination grocery and butcher shop stood
an empty, horseless, one-horse delivery
wagon parallel with the curb. The shafts
were tumedicarelessly somewhat toward the
street There wa3 at least-40 feet of road
way clear, but the truckman consciously or
unconsciously drove over the shafts, smash
ing them like they were matches. Both
the grocer and his wife saw the act and
rushed to the door. He was a big fellow,
and I stopped to hear that truckman get his
deserved blessing, perhaps worse. It was a
case for justifiable profanity at least. The
man looked at me a moment and seemed to
comprehend the fact that I expected some
thing. He laughed:
"That fellow had the whole read, and yet
had to drive over my shafts. It's a good
thing for him my wife joined the church
only yesterday, 'for he'd got it, sure!"
impregnated With Westprn TTavoT.
The other evening a gentleman from Mon
tana sat In the Hoffman House art gallery
among several well-known New Yorkers.
He was a New Yorker himself by birth and
education and had lived here all his life,
but had spent the last few years in the far
West. There was a Western flavor about
him about his dress, in his manners, oa
his tongue that set him distinctly apart
from the rest He saw it himself and
seemed somewhat embarrassed by it He
knew these men had always known them.
He was better equipped mentally than any
of them, and knew that also. But it seemed
to puzzle him to understand how three or
four short year3 in a Western citr could
make so much difference between him and
them. It puzzled the rest of us, too. It
was not ea3y to point out any one particu
lar it was the flavor of the whole. It is
remarkable how rapidly and thoroughly a
man will become impregnated with his
daily surroundings.
The Butterfly'! Tint Season.
If you should chance to pause in front of
any Broadway window where theatrical
faces are displayed you will invariably sur
prise some footlight fairy looking at her
counterfeit presentment The worse the
counterfeit the more it flatters her the
oftener she will be there to look at it The
mere act-of looking is not so satisfactory to
her; but it attracts attention. Other people
look to see what she is looking at The
chances are that somebody at some time
will note a faint resemblance somewhere
and will say 'There she is, now" and then
everybody within hearing will staro at her
and whisper. Then the footlight fairy will
go away happy.
I liave seen a soubrette playing a Broad
way engagement stop every day to look at
her pictures in the windows. If there were
a dozen to the block she would stop from
one to ten minutes to silently worship each
one. Such is the glory of the first season
"on the road."
Pipes ana Cigarettes Barred.
The pipe habit bids fair to rival the nuis
ance of the cigarette habit In New York.
The pipe habit is too deucedly English,
don't you know and for this reason, com- '
binedwith the economical feature, it is
likely to become popular. It is not un
common to to see swell gentlemen about
town on upper Broadway puffing the fra
grant briarwood. This imitation of the Strand
and London clubs was practiced to some
extent last year, but the notice "No pipes
here" in certain chophouses affected by
swelldom had the decided tendency to choke
off the inpovation. If a fellah couldn't 'it
'is pipe in 'is chops, y'know, where could 'e
'it ft, y'know ? But there are chophouses
and cafe managers who are dead set against
hitting a pine in their places, and it is al
leged that a fashionable club has interdicted
the pipe in certain rooms where cigars are
tolerated.
In a good many private snuggeries about
town frequented by theatrical people of
both sexes the legend "No cigarettes" has.
long stared the habitues in the face. This
is absolutely necessary from the fact that it
is usually the cigarette crowd that form the
phalanx of "Johnies," and the unrestricted
indulgence of their habit would make clo'sa
rooms intolerable. Broadway happily af
fords ample space for both pipe and cigar
ette, and if some amicable arrangement
could be made whereby the pipeand cigar
ette could be confined to one side of the
street, they would not be objectionable.
Charles Theodore Mcesat.
A Monarch's Advice.
Hsrper's Bazar.3
Charles the Second," said Charles the
First, addressing his, son, just before the
execution, "let my fate be a warning to you;
never be without an axeident-insuranc
policy.
ASSISTANT "SURGEONS
ARMY.
IscoHroiuTED issa,
&XOOBDZ2,
TT. HIOSSTOS PAUSES, 3LDL,1
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