Pittsburg dispatch. (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, March 15, 1891, Page 4, Image 4

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    THE (PITTSBUftG- DISPATCH, SUNDAY, MARCH 15, 1891
Mje mMt
ESTABLISHED FEBRUARY 8, ISIS.
Vol. 46. Xa. 3 -Entered at Pittsburg Postoffice,
jUTCinui:ri4. iso. HcuuriuA iuiuut
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PITTSBURG. SUNDAY'. MAR. 15. ISM.
PAltTlSANslIIP IN OPPOSITION".
The remark is made by the Philadelphia
Ledger that it is foolish for the Republi
cans in the Legislature to make party
measures of such acts as the Road and the
Ballot Reform bills, "which, irrespective of
caucus action, would be passed almost with
out opposition." But does not this criti
cism indicate a totally loose Yicw of the
principles which ought to govern party ac
tion? What are parties good for if not to sup
port and enact measures of reformatory and
beneficial character? The praiseworthy
character of the Ballot Relorm and Koad
bills being admittedly beyond dispute, there
does not seem to be anything which the
Republicans in the Legislature are more
justified in doing, both lor the good reputa
tion of the party and for the welfare of the
public, than in making their support a
partv question. The DISPATCH is not
enamored of thegeneral features of Republi
can management in the Legislature, but in
the support of good legislation the Republi
cans are entirely right in making them party
measures provided the Democrats are
foolish enough to let them.
If any criticism is pertinent on the fact
that these measures are taking a partisan
character, it should be directed against the
Democrats who make them party measures
by opposing them. To antagonize good
legislation simply because your opponents
have endorsed it is conducting politics on
the principles oi March hare madness.
THE TKOCDI.E IX SERVIA.
The little Kingdom of Servia is keeping
vp its reputation as the most troublesome of
the minor monarchies of Europe. The mal
odorous ex-Kicg Milau and the erratic
ex-Queen Natalie are indulging in their
usual attempts to blacken each other's char
acter, and from reports it seems that they
are succeeding. Sympathy will, of course,
go to the woman, and, when
the ex-King's character is con
sidered, she leally seems deserving
of some commiseration. The perron most
deserving of sympathy, however, is the
young King, Alexander, who seems to be a
mere puppet in the hand; oi the unscrupu
lous courtiers by whom he is surrounded.
Deprived as he is of his natural guardians,
and left to a farcical rule over a turbulent
people, the boy is in a truly deplorabte posi
tion. What his future will be is a matter
of conjecture, but the experience through
which he is now pissing can hare little
good effect on him. Inheriting as he proba
bly does the peculiar traits of his parents,
only a short time need be expected to elapse
beiore he is the equal of both in duplicity
and similar failings.
Just how the country will flourish after
he attains his majority and takes the Gov
ernment into his own hands can be guessed
by reviewing its history under the short,
troubled reign of his father. That is, pro
Tided that when he attains his majority
there is any country to govern. As things
are now, Servia is a menace to the peace of
the three great nations, and only a very short
time may pass beiore the decision to treat it
as Poland was treated may be reached. The
Servians would, of course, object to any such
action, bnt their objections would be of little
use. If the three great powers agree to
divide Servia among themselves, the divis
ion will, take place.
CRIME IN NEW ORLEANS.
The termination or the remarkable crimi
nal case in New Orleans by a riot in which
the mob broke into the jail where nearly a
dozen of the Italians charged with the mur
der of the Chief of Police were confined and
killed them all, shows that the traditional
weakness of the law and license of the mob
in that city still exist
However the affair is looked at, it is dis
graceful to New Orleans It is disgraceful
to any citv professedly of civilized standing
to fall under the sway of a brutal and law
less mob. At this distance it is not practi
cable to intelligently discuss the nature of
the evidence for and against the Italians
charged with the murder conspiracy.
But as the men were notoriously
of a class without influence in
politics, and seemingly destitute of the
means of perverting justice it is not clear
that the verdict of acquittal which pro
voked this lynching was an unjust one. In
that view the affair simply assumes the
aspect of a murder by a brutal, ignorant
mob, which is suffered to enact the edict
that because certain men are accused of a
murder, the fact of a verdict of acquittal
shall not save their lives.
But admitting the practical allegation of
the lynchers, that these men were red
handed murderers, whom the law had
Busiri
fa$
failed to convict, who is responsible for the
failure of justice? Where under a popular
system ot government does the responsibil
ity exist for any weakness, inefficiency or
corruption in the administration? With
the people, of conrse; and this is especially
true of the administration of justice where
the necessity for uprightness, vigor and
impartiality for the protection of individual
rights is so clear that any lack of those
qualities can only exist as a result of vicious
politics.
If there was a failure of justice in the
New Orleans case, the people of 2few Or
leans must blame themselves for it The
sequence in their opinion seemed to be that
because they have not been honest and in
telligent enough to secure a vigorous and
fearless administration of the law, therefore
all law must be broken down and men must
be murdered by the dozen because the mob
so decrees.
Mob murders furnish the most brutal,
stupid and cowardly form of crime. Tbey
are generally inspired not by the love of
justice, but by the savage cruelty which
takes advantage of a pretense of irregular
justice to satisfy its lust lor destruction. The
protection of life and liberty by law cannot
be considered a success while such things
are possible; and the local history of New
Orleans shows that where the mob is per
mitted to commit such crimes with im
punity there the guarantees of peace and
order are the most insecure.
AX EXAMPLE j?K03I ENGLAND.
An example of great value to Western
Pennsylvania at just this time, is furnished
by the city of Manchester, England. The
company which has been engaged in the
work of constructing a ship canal from that
city to the sea, having exhausted its power
of borrowing money, the city corporation has
determined to advance the.suru of 512,500,
000. The value which that great manufact
uring community places upon the possession
of water transportation is strikingly illus
trated by its readiness to put this sum into
the enterprise upon conditions which by the
statement of the cases were not deemed
security sufficient to attract the superabun
dant private capital of Great Britain.
The view taken of this loan in current
newspaper statement is that Manchester is
paying $12,500,000 to become a seaport
When we consider the immense opportuni
ties of commerce which will be gainrd
thereby, it is easy to see that it
is a small price to pay for the
advantage. Yet it is a pregnant fact for
local application that the objects of the
English city to mate herself a seaport are
not so great nor so vital as those of Pitts
burg and Western Pennsylvania in bring
iug lake transportation to their very doors.
Manchester is perhaps one-third or one
half greater than the community of Pitts
burg, but its business is not so largely of
the kind demanding cheap transportation of
large masses of heavy freights, as almost the
entire industry of Western Pennsylvania.
The chief product of Manchester is cotton
goods and higher textile fabrics, and these
arc staples which are able to bear the higher
cost of railway transportation. It is true
that tne raw material of cotton manufactures
can be brought to Manchester more cheaply,
but if tnat city should consume the entire
cotton crop of the United States, the ton
nage of raw cotton would not much exceed
one-half the ore tonnage of the iron industry
of Western Pennsylvania, and would not
equal one-filth of the total tonnage of the
iron and coal industries of this section.
The staples on which the influence of
cheap water transportation is most decisive
are those of low cost and large tonnage. No
industries furnish a larger volume of such
freights than those of Western Pennsyl
vania. Iron ore, coal, coke, limestone and
pig iron are the cheapest freights known,
are moved by the hundreds of thousands of
tons, and an economy of 25 or SO cent.3 per
ton on any of them will imply the control
of immense markets. It is, therefore, a
demonstrated fact that an improvement of
transportation which will carry such an
economy on every oncof those staples.means
an expansion of the industries of Western
Pennsylvania fir beyond what Manchester
can secure from her ship canal.
There is another vital consideration to
Pittsburg iu favor of such an enterprise
which,is by no means so imperative in the
case of the English manufacturing; in the
danger of loss of industrial importance un
less we secure our future by the
permanent establishment of cheap
water transportation. Two- years ago
Mr. Carnegie pointed out that the advantage
which Chicago has from its location on the
shore of Lake Michigan is transferring a
large share of the Bessemer steel industry
to that point The present shut-down in
the Mahoning and Shenango Vplleys by the
fact that the cheapness of Southern pig
iron is a. factor, emphasizes another possi
bility of the future. The strength which
this section has found in the possession of
the natural gas fuel during the past decade
is rapidly passing away. If Western Penn
sylvania is supine enough to leave things as
they are, there is every danger that its era
of growth is at afi end. But if this section
maintains its control by bringing lake trans
portation to Pittsburg it can effect an econ
omy of transportation on all its staples
which can be made to reach SI 502 00
per ton of pig iron, and 53 003 00 per
ton of finished iron or steel. Such a
gain would permanently locate the su
premacy of the iron industry in this section,
and make it the center of the world in that
line of manufacture early in the next 'cen
tury, t
The time has not yet come for cither the
city or State or General Government to
pledge their credit to the Pittsburg and
Erie cana1. But it is time for the people of
Western Pennsylvania to become fully in
formed of the vast prizes that can be ob
tained by pushing that project to success.
When we see what Manchester is doing to
secure a similar advantage and realize the
far greater interest that this section has in
cheap transportation, "vre can gain some
comprehension of the vastness of the object
for which the entire public should unite its
efforts.
BISMARCK FOR THE REICHSTAG.
That Bismarck's candidature for the
Reichstag should worry the German Gov
ernment is not a matter of surprise, inas
much as his action was taken with precisely
that end in view. This is self-apparent,
and the ex-Chancellor's action ib in line
with his other doings since he was deprived
of power. He does not care so-much now for
the welfare of tbe country as he does for his
revenge, and he holds himself ready to make
terms with any party that will aid him in
seenring it He will not, of course, plot
harm to the Empire which he was instru
mental in founding, but he will, if he gets
the chance, make things as unpleasant for
the Emperor as possible.
This wish to annoy the one whom he
helped to make comes from one of the most
powerful causey of human passion disap
pointed ambition. This ambition was to
found a Bismarckian succession ot Prime
Ministers who would rule oyer the Em
perors instead of under them, and he nat
urally did not approve of his master's de
cided declaration that he was no longer
needed. He will attempt to prove, if
elected to the Reichstag, that he is needed;
but the attempt will not likely be success
ful. There is plenty of ministerial talent in
Germany in closer sympathy with the pecu
liar views of the Emperor than is Bis
marck, and future Chancellors will be
chosen from it Bismarck is old; he is of
the past Tne Emperor is young; he is of
the present and for the future. In the
present and in the future is Germany's
hope.
AX INCONCLUSIVE ENDORSEMENT.
The claim is made that the requirements
fixed by the State Board of Lunacy for a
site for an insane asylum to be "500 acres in
extent, providing a good water supply and
large facilities for drainage from the asylum
buildings," is an indorsement of the require
ments for the Poor Farm in this city.
To this it is sufficientto reply that, if other
requirements, besides those fixed by the
Board of Lunacy, should demand nnt only
so big a tract, but that the ground also, cost
from $500 to 600 per acre, it might be possi
ble that the State Board would find that a
smaller tract of land would answer the pur
pose. To say that 500 acres are wanted in
localities -where the land will probably cost
$100 per acre is one thing; to say that noth
ing less than 500 acres will do, even if it
entails an extra cost of $150,000 or $200,000,
is another and very radically different thing.
Moreover, it is noticeable that the require
ments ot the State Board do not confine the
location to a river front. "A good water
supply" and "large facilities for drainage"
are all that are asked; and that is what is
admitted to be necessary for the Poor Farm.
If the requirements fixed by the municipal
ordinance were changed so as to permit the
purchase of good land away from the rivers,
where good water and good drainage can be
secured at a moderate cost, a liberal average
might be conceded, but the purchase of a
farm which is both big and costly will not
be sanctioned by the publid
The Illinois Senatorship was settled by
the choice between a Farmers' Alliance man
who professed a willingness to adopt Republi
can principles in exchange for votes, and the
Democratic candidate who look a large dose of
Alliance principles for the same consideration.
The outcome leaves tbo Alliance on top.
A pew years ago Chauncey M. Depew's
salary as a railroad President was said to be
25,000 a year. Then the news was telegraphed
to an anxions pnblic that his wages had been
raised to 50,000. Next some truthful parag
rapber stated that Mr. Depew was in receipt
of 575,000 for his services to the New York Cen
tral. Now 100,000 is tbo amount mentioned.
And so tbe good work goes. Is this gradual rais
ing of Mr. Depew's salary to be taken as a meas
ure of his growth in public esteem? Or is it in
tended to show Mr. Depew's disinterestedness
in accepting any State or national office that
may be offered him? A man receiving 5100,000
a j ear for doing nothing would be disinterested
indeed to accept a political office with its bard
work and poor pay.
The sentiment of the Hon. Tim Camp
bell, of New York, Is Widely quoted in the
Eastern press: "What's the Constitution
among friends?" Tho idea may not have been
reduced to definite language before: bat the
practice of the Pennsylvania Legislature has
been built on that principle these many years.
The Indiana Legislature has adopted
what seems a novel idea in corporate manage
meet, but which comes to this country with tbe
indorsement of English practice. It is that
each stockholder, no matter how many shares
he may own in the corporation, shall have just
one vote. The idea that the great manipula
tors who cet hold of a majority of the stock of a
company, by hook or by crook, and then pro
ceed to manage it for their own enrichment,
shall have no more power in the elections of the
company than the holders of one share apiece,
would be stunning to the corporate kings, bat
somehow it does not seem altogether un
pleasant to the small shareholders.
Favorable reports of the condition of
cattle on the Western ranges foreshadow that
during the coming year we shall hear tbe
renewed and simultaneous complaints of the
cheapness of beef on the hoof while paying the
same old prices for it at the butcher shop.
It is a singular fact that while the Re
publicans in the Legislature are, for the time
being at least, supporting ballot reform, tbe
Republicans in Maine have just succeeded in
defeating it on a variety of pleas, ranging from
tbe allegation that the Maine elections are like
Caar's wife, to the assortion that ballot re
form is unconstitutional. The kaleidoscopic
attitude of tbe parties in different States on
this question is calculated to prematurely
whiten the hair of the man who tries to deter
mine which is really tbe ballot reform party.
Ax Indian squaw has turned up in
Lansing and claimed a member of the Legisla
ture for her husband. It is singular how these
poor savages are able to cast aside all desire to
maintain their reputation.
Among the particularly stupid bills in
troduced at Harrisburg is one obliging title
insurance companies to lay by as a reserve ten
per cent of the amount of tbe policies they
issue. As tbey frequently charge less than one
per cent, it will be seen that under an arrange
ment of this sort they would have to quit busi
ness. As title insurance is reeocnlzed as of
great value in transfers of real estate, the in
convenience to property owners would be very
considerable. The bill should bo dropped.
The young girls detained as witnesses
and treated like convicted criminals in a New
Jersey jail no doubt have very poor ideas of the
vaunted Jersey justice.
The report now comes that Mr. Cleve
land's friends in tbe New York Reform Club
are conducting a vigorous still hunt to work up
support for his candidacy in 1892. The recent
announcements that Republican leadership has
practically decided that President Harrison
must be tbe candidate of the Republicans in
1S92 would justify this activity to secure the
Democratic plum if anyone believed the dec
larations in favor of Harrison.
Statesmen drank champagne from tin
cups at a Chattanooga banquet tbe other night
Tbe tin did not affect the quality of wine, nor
presumably the size of the head next morning.
It is related that President Harrison was
so much pleased with the crowing of a bantam
rooster while on his gunning expedition that
he would not allow the small fowl to be driven
away. Members of the Pennsylvania Legisla
ture who got a large dose of cold shoulder at
tbe White House last winter will note that the
President has a decided preference for Mary
land roosters as compared with tbo Harrisburg
varjety.
Notwithstanding the murder of a
womaa in a Spanish railroad car, Europeans
will still stick to their preference tor the com.
partment style of railway vehicles.
Chicago's proposition to hire tbe Duke
of Veragna, the last living descendant of Co
lumbus, to start the machinery of the World's
Colombian Exposition in motion, is probably
based upon the assumption that tbe titled gen
tleman would enjoy earning a few dollars by
his own exertions. In early life he seemed
fonder of begging pensions tiom South Ameri
can Governments than he did of working.
The bleak winds of March are not ex
actly 'pleasant; but they permit the bops that
May blossoms will contain the germuf more
fruition than they aid last year.
GOYERNoe Hill tho other day sent a
message to the New York Legislature point
ing out needed reforms in the electoral system.
Strange to say, he entirely forgot to mention
that a man holding one office Should not bo
allowed to run for another. Knowing tbe Gov-ernor-Senator's
views on the subject wo havo
every reason to hope that the mistake will be
rectified.
Peesidext Harbison shot 13 ducks tbe
other day. Thirteen was an unlucky number
for the ducks.
The announcement that Turkey will send
to ttbe World's Fair a complete exhibit of
Turkish literature and newspapers may be in
teresting, but It is hardly exciting. In view of
the full supply of newspaper literature which
this country contains, the Empire of Islam
would do better to make an exhibit of Turkey
rugs, houris and False Prophets.
March came in like a lion, but by the
middle of the month it developed into a whole
menagerie.
Now the news comes that the people of
Uganda, in Africa, earnestly declare that they
are not under British protection. Here are
some more of those besotted savages who
cherish tbe 'delusion that their preferences
should have weight in the division of their
territory in tbe Dark Continent among the
European powers. '
PEOPLE AND POTENTATES.
Ex-Speakek Reed is fond of the bicycle
and takes long rides on the handy steed.
Julia Marlowe's first appearance since
her recent illness was at Ford's Theater, Bal
timore, last Monday.
Governor Hill will be invited to make
tbe speech at tbe unveiling of tbe monument to
Henry W. Grady in Atlanta this summer.
Henry W". Denison, who is now legal
adviser to tbe Mikado of Japan, formerly re
sided in Lancaster, N. H. Mr. Denison has
lived in Japan about 23 years.
Miss Amelia B. Edwards has been
lecturing on 'The Art of tho Novelist." Sho
considers Thackeray tbe greatest master of fic
tion tbo world has ever seen.
Lord Grimthorpe, England's noble
clock-maker, has just completed a clock for the
postofflce of Sydney, New South Wales, which
is said to be tbo largest timepiece that has ever
been sent from England.
General Mahone is preparing to build
a town at the mouth of Cove Creek, in Taze
well county, Va. A branch road will he built
from Tazewell Conrt House to the point men
tioned, and charcoal furnaces erected.
Dr. William H. Von Swaktotjt has
founded a new university society in New York,
based, as ho explained to a meeting in Cooper
Union Sunday, on his individual ownership of
the earth, "The Planet is Mine," is his motto.
Ex-Governob William E. Cameron,
ot Petersburg, Va., has been confined to his
house for more than a month, suffering with
abscess of the entire right jaw, and his dentist
thinks an operation 13 tbe only remedy for bis
relief.
Chevalier George D. Epinois, who
took part in the great battle, or Waterloo,
formed a part of the guard of honor which wel
comed Leopold I., IS years later, is now, at the
at the age of 97, burgomaster in the village of
Epinois les Binche,
Herbert Welsh, of the Indian Rights
Association, has Issued an open letter in which
he takes strong ground against political inter
ence in Indian affairs, especially as illustrated
by tbe efforts of Dr. Royer, late agent at Fine
Ridge, to secure reappointment
Mme. Hading, the noted French actress,
lives in a beautifnlly-fimshed hotel near the
Flaine Monceau in Paris. She is a dilettante in
art and literature and possesses a fine library
in which many rare editions may be found. Her
house is arendezvous of literary people.
The Queen of Spain io said to be laboring
under a mania or hallucination that she will
some day come to want, and she is therefore
laying away every penny she can rake and
scrape. She even borrows small coins of tbo
pages about tbe palace and forgets to repay
them, and tho other day she was caught selling
14 pairs of her old shoes for 4 cents a pair.
The late Admiral Porter once played a
queer April fool's joke, when, as captain of
Howard & Sons' steamship Golden Age, he en
tered the harbor of Sydney, his flags at halt
mast in honor of the memory of Queen Vic
toria. Tbe act will never bo forgotten by
Australians, or for that matter by any of Her
Majesty's subjocts who are familiar with the
Irolic.
Veeestchagin, the Russian painter,
who has just arrived in New York, will make
an extended tour among the Sioux and other,
Indian tribes. His design is to secure data for
a great work on the red man as he exists under
Government control in tbe United States. He
declined to say if he had an imperial order for
his work, but tbe general impression is that be
has, and that it will be the effort of bis life.
NOW, SEE IT BAIN.
Tho Work of Storming the Sky Is to Begin
, at Once.
Utica, N. Y.. March 14. Prot Carl Myers,
of Frankfort, N. Y., has returned from
Washington, D. C, where ho was called to
consult with officials regarding the carrying
out of an 'extensn e scheme for promoting rain
falls in arid regions or during seasons of pro
longed drought, by producing concussions in
upper atmospheres, for which Congress has
made appropriations.
Prof. Mers will begin operations with 100
balloons o"f various sizes. The charges of
mixed cases will be exploded at various heights
through tbe medium ot-galvanlc batteries and
electric cables which will serve both to retain
captive balloons and conduct tbe electric spark
to cxplosivo compounds. The necessary work
will be done on his balloon farm at Frankfort
whero tlieoxigen and hydrogen will be gen
erated. Experiments will be made at Frankfort
and near Washington; finally the sky stnrmers
will bo taken to the and regions of Texas.
Colorado and other States. Theory and
statistics favor tbe successful issue of the
experiment
They Go Into Other Business.
Buffalo Express.
Another successful case of skin-grafting is
reported. Yet a little further development of
surgery and thin-skinned people will be able to
defy the shafts or criticism with an extra thick
epidermis transplanted from the shaft-proof
rhinoceros. But what will the critics do for a
living then?
DEATHS OP A DAY.
Tho Centennial of Patents.
Washington, March 14. Tho committee
having iu charge the arrangements for the cel
ebration of the beginning of the second century
of tbe American patent stem, which will oc
cur in this city on April 8, 9 and 10, is in re
ceipt of numerous communications from all
parts of the country from inventors and man
ufacturers, indicating a-widespread interest in
the celebration. Several thousand of the most
prominent inventors in the country, includme
Edison, Bell, Corliss, Sinims, Westinghouse, C.
K. Marshall, Andrew Carnegie, etc.. have sig
nified their intertion to participate. The open
ing meeting on April 8 will be presided over by
President Harrison.
Charles Kellogg.
.SrBClAL TEL1CCRAM TO THE DISPATCH.I
Findlay, March 14. Charles Kellogg,
inventor or the celebrated Kellogg seamless iron
tube, and axivll engineer w eil known through the
United Stales, died at the Marvin House last
nijrht of paralysis, aced 75 years. Mr. Kellogg
was a noted uridine builder and planner, and su
perintended the construction of all iron bridges
on the Illinois Central Railroad. He was Presi
dent of the Buflalo Bridge Company and tne Kel
logffTube Worts of this city.
Mrs. Mary A. Kihg.
iSrECIAt TELEOKAM TO THE DISPATCH.!
NEWARK, O., March 14. Death to-day
removed another or Newark's oldest residents fa
the person of Mrs. Mary A. King, widow or Hon.
6. D. King. She had been an invalid for 17 years
from tbe effects of a paralytic stroke, and died at
the advanced age of 80 years. On the place where
she died she lived 37 years.
Harry McCuliough.
Grcensdup.g. Mirch 14. Harry Mc
Culiough, oply son of the late Congressman Wclty
McCuliough, died this morning nt Media. Pa.,
where he whs attending school, of diphtheria. He
was aged about lit, and his flcath obliterates the
AlcCullough name.
A. Miner Griswold.
NEW YORE, M.rch 14. A. Miner Gris
wold, widely known as "Tne Pat Contributor,"
editor of Texas liftings, died suddenly of apo
plexy at Sheboysau Palls, Wis., tills morning.
THE COUNTRY MEMBER,
TiTiy Ho Doesn't Want for Much atHarrls
burg A Map of the Average Career
Country Electors Are Kenponslble for
Poor Representation.
fFROM A STAFP COUKESrONDENT.l
Hakkisburg, March 14. Tbe "country
member" is a source of great interest and
amusement to the city member and to the
habitues of the Legislature. Every,seS3ionbe
comes down to tbe House in great numbers,
and tbe processor his "breaking in" is watched
with unfailing delight
The country members proper are largely
in tho majority. About 125 out of tbo
201 members of the Moose come from the
purely country counties. To the city
membership Philadelphia contributes 39,
Pittsburg and Allegheny county 16, Read
ings, Scranton 3, Harrisburg, Erie, Lan
caster and Williamsport 1 each, while the mem
bers from Luzerne and Schuylkill counties and
.the districts closely bordering Philadelphia are
usually largely snsceptlDle to city influences.
Thus it will be seen that, so tar as mere
numbers go, the Country members could,
if they would, control things. But it need not
be said they don't. And tho fault is not solely
theirs. It belongs to their constituents, who
cbango their representatives every session, and
then kick because tbey don't become full
fledged statesmen, and matches for tho trained
city legislators, in threo months.
"What tho Country Member Is.
He is, as a rule, a fair representative of the
best element ot his constituency. Conntry
people regard the office of Assemblyman as a
most honorable and responsible one, and have
a good, old-fashioned way of scanning very
closely tbe reputation und record of him who,
to use their terse phrase, "is askin' Legisla
ture." In most of the rural counties, tho tem
perance sentiment is strong, and he who U
known to take his dram, be it ever so rarely,
has small show.
'T want no man governln' me who can't cov
ern bimsejf," said an elector in a Western
county of a candidate for Legislative honors,
who sometimes took his "three fingers" of old
rye.
Generally bo is a farmer, a merchant, or a
lawyer fioui the county seat. His getting tbe
nomination is no slight task. Competition for
this office is keener evea than for the more
lucrative county offices. He who is nominated
on bis first venture is either unusually strong
or unusually lucky. Often ho may think him
self fortunate if he get tne nomination on the
third beat and if he does not, by an unwritten
but unalterable law he is barred from further
trials. "Third time, and out"
Loaded Up With Itcsponslbllity.
The election over, bo waits with no little anx
iety tbe time when he shall take bis seat in the
legislative halls. Nearly everyone has some
law he wants him to pass, repeal, or amend.
His friends tell him they want him "to do some
thing this winter." His constituents serve no-
!...-. ..-. . ...-I 1..m II
xice mat iney -win expect 10 near jiuui ji.
He feels that much rests upon bim. Ho yearns
to distinguish himself, and prove worthy of tho
confidence imposed upon bim. Things aro
going wrong at Harrisburg: perhaps he "was
born to set them right." In his-mind's eye be
sees himself a leader, an orator, able "the ap
plause of listening Senators to command."
Truly, thinzs aro going to bo " 'tended to down
there" this session.
The country member gets down to Harris
burg, and finds himself among a bustling, jost
ling, excited, eager crowd of men, keen, quick,
alert, everyone, except himself, apparently
knowing everyone else. "Hello, Jonesy!"
"Smithy, old boy, how are you?" "Shake,
Billy, ola man!" are the salutations ho bears on
every side. Tbey seem to be men meeting after
a temporary separation. So tbey are. These
are the city members, most of whom have been
returned to take up tbe work of running things
in the Interests of their constituents just where
tbey left off at the last session. Bat no one
knows the new country member. His appear
ance on the scene causes no stir. His fame hag
not preceded bim. It has not even come in on
the second section. He is introduced to people
whose names he forgets, and who forget bis,
and the cat in a strange garret is at home com
pared to him. Tho caucus moves off like clock
work, and without any aid from him what
ever. Ii the House he is allotted a
back seat with other new members, likewise
from the country, whence he can survey the
backs of tbe beads of all the other members on
his side. He can see tho fronts of those on tbe
opposition side, and begins to think that he has
seen as intellectual looking people at township
meetings at home.
The First Lesson He Learns.
He has lots of legislation in his mind, but has
jjdef erred framing his hills until he should reach
tbe capital, nut loi tne duis irora me city
members and tho country representatives wno
have managed to get a second terra, and whose
eyeteoth are cut, flutter down on tho House
in clouds, and before he "reads ih his place and
presents to the Chair" the little measures upon
which bis political future depends, there may
be from 300 to 500 ahead of it. Placed on
various committees, most of which never meet,
he sees how easily the thing works when you
know how. The Chairman and loading spirits
are old members. They stand by each
other, and on the neck of the new
member. One says. "Mr. Chairman, my
friend, Mr. Smith, has a little
bill he'd like to have out. If. there are no ob
jections, I move wo take it up now." The
country member never objects. He sits still
and sees it go out an(l when all these "little
bills" have been attended to his is taken up and
gets out, if at all, in time to be numbered 400,
or thereabouts.
The country member, with good reason, ex
pects that the Legislature will go to work at
once, hut is surprised to see week after week
Eass and apparently nothing accomplished,
o listens with weariness unutterable to the
elonuence poured out on second readme days.
or, in bis aspirations for prominence, may take
a hand in it himself, wondering at first why,
when be and other ambitious gentlemen rle to
address the House, members begin to talk to
each other, read newspapers and even go out,
and feeling deeply outraged, when his
vehemence has raised his voice to its bighct
pitch, and numerous gentlemen yell, "Louder."
The Rules Bother Him.
Tbe rules are a source of constant entangle
ment to him. No matter what he tries to do,
some rule ties his hand or trips his feet. He
appears to be always "out of order." Before
entering the Lesislature, introducing a bill,
discussing it and voting on it seemed a simple
enough matter, but now ho finds that what to
bim appears to be the art of "how not to do it"
holds sway, and that Its high priests arc cer
tain old membeis whoaro called "parliament
arians," and who delight ro"swipe" him when
ever he tries to do anything. He pores over
the 40 or more pages of rules and decisions in
Smull's, but to find that they elude his memory
when be needs them, and that the only way to
really learn is in tbat old but dear school called
experience.
Meanvbilo he is beset on every hand to vote
for divers and dubious measure, and is told if
he doesn't tbe city members, or old niemben
having them in charge, won't vote for his bill
when it comes up. but if He stands by them
they'll tand by him a safe enonch promise to
make, for in seven cases out of ten his bill
won't be reached before adjournment. Special
orders are made and "little bills" are jumped
over the head of his measure almost before hs.
knoKSit But he is learning right feioiig. By
the time the session is three-fourths over his
eje-teetbhave begun to "break away." He is
familiar with "their tricks and manners," as
Miss Wren would say, but tho trouble is it is
too late for h knowledge to do him much
good. Everything is now rushing at two-forty
speed. There aro three sessions a day.'andthe
roll call sounds from morning to midnight
There is no time for discussion now. Measures
he doesn't like are rusbed through. Senate
and House disagree, conference committees
are appointed, then reports aro read, the roll is'
called and be must vote upon questions over
whicb be has not a minute in which to deliber
ate or reflect. -He stands aghast at the way the
money goes to this institution and that, mostly
located in the cities, but It goes just the same.
And nt Lost tho End.
The last night he sits in his seat until day
light amid a noise deafening, a confusion in
describable. Bills "go through" soma way.
Tbey may have had tbe constitutional number
of votes. Sometimes somo people say they bad
not Then comes the adjournment The con
ventional testimonials, stereotyped phrases of
compliment, farewells, general handshaking,
"Auld Lang Synes" sung in 17 different keys.
And then tbe country member packs his
grip and goes home, and very nkly tbo legis
lative "places that have known him shall knuw
him no more forever." For lili constituents
are disposed to be very crlticil. If he has notgot
his promised bills through, thc tersel set bun
down as "no go-id." If lhcybe-auie laws they
And fault witu thcin. If he made no npcec!ips
tiiorebv saving the State 87 JO. per pa'.-e nt the
Jieco el, to say nothing of time, costiig it I at
$Z000a day, tliey hint that tbey "migu. as we I
have sent a wooden man down?'
Nor have the agricultutal reports, "Bird
Books," 'Smnlls," and other valuable and'en
tertaiuiug literature distributed among his con
stituents endeared lm greatly to them, for
more didn't get them than did get them, and
feel slighted in consequence.
Then Comes the Reckoning.
He vaspircs to a second term, and in nine
cases out of ten ought to be returned, for be
has gained a knowledge and experience which
would be of benefit to his constituents, but be
rarely succeeds. Tbere are dozens of ambi
tions men who want to go to Harrisburg. bis
failure to run things during the four months
he was thero is laid up against him, and others
say be has had "about enough." and that it it
is a had thing one man ought not to be mado
to keep it all the time, and if it was a good
thine it should he passed around.
And so, losing sight entirely ot tbe true rule
which should obtain in selecting legislators, a
man who could servo them acceptably is
turned down and another new man sent to
Harrisburg to go through tho same course of
training and be in turn retired. Thus the
country counties aro nlmou constantly repre
sented by inexperienced men, and deprived or
the power and influence which should be theirs,
while the trained representatives of the cities
run tbe Legislature.
And tne country member, disappointed and
in most cases out of pocket, is henceforth "not
in it." The sole return for all worry, bother,
vexation, annoyance and expense is the honor
of having his mail addressed to
Hox. Jons- smith.
On the fcheir.
Pa.
Henry Hall.
A CONGEESSiilAK'S FE0LIC.
Ho Makes an Ugly Customer Endure an
Amusing Indignity.
Tho other day tbree or four gentlemen stood
at a popular New York bar imbibing
various concoctions as suited their individual
taste. They were mutual friends and hilarious
at that hour, to a degree. One of them was a
member of Congress, and most or tho others
present were his constituents. This member is
a very handsome fellow, full of good stories,
and is a lover of fun in any reasonable form.
While the gentlemen were discussing the last
campaign a cao driver wearing; a lonK-ianeu
surtout overcoat buttoned up to tbe throat and
down to the hips entered and ordered a drink.
He was an ugly looking customer, and for this
reason tho friends of the Congressman were
roincwhat nervous when that eminent gentle
man stopped up behind the cab driver and
elbowed him. They expected to seo the driver
turn around and knock the member down, but
he only regarded him with a surly scowl and
went on with his drink.
"I'll bet jou," said the member, "that I can
cut the buttons off that driver's coat and be
won't hit me."
"It is a bottle of wine," retorted one or bis
friends. The member walked directly to the
corner where stood the big driver now drawing
on his gloves preparatory to leaving tbo place,
and drawing his jack-knife cut tbe buttons
from the rear of tbe man's overcoat So as
tonished was cabby tbat be evidently couldn't
at first make up bis mind whether to bit the
man or demand money satisfaction. So he
kept his mouth shut and turned round and
eyed him in a way which would have been em
barrassing to anybody of more timidity than
our member. Not a word was said on either
side. The member told the barkeeper to put
up a small bottle of wine. It was done and tho
package was handed to the Congressman, who
immediately cat two more buttons off the front
of tbe coat, and putting tbe bottle of wine into
the man's bosom, eavo him the buttons and
said: "Your girl will sew them on for you."
That was all tbat was said up to that moment.
Then cabDy turned brusquely to the laughing
party and said sententiously : "Youse ran have
the rest of these buttons at the same price,"
and walked out of the place.
SPECTACLES AS WEAPONS.
A New York Ticket Seller's Idea of Their
Usefulness,
New York Tribune. 3
"I wouldn't have perfect eyes for anything
less than a fortnne,"said a man in the box oflico
of one of tbetbeaters of New York. "I could not
get along in this place without my glasses. You
have no idea what an assistance they are to a
man who has constantly to meet requests for
unwarranted favors. Men of all shades come
up to ask me for seats. Tbey all
tbink they have unanswerable arguments
why tbey should have free seats.
Now, my glasses are my Gatllng
guns. I always turn tbem upon tbe enemy.
When a man comes up in a confident way, puts
his card down and asks for two seats, I just
look at bim. Then I examine his card, look at
him azaln, push back the bit or pasteboard,
say 'Certainly, sir; won't you kindly get that
indorsed by the manaeer,' and look at him
again. Mind you, I am looking at him through
glasses. Ninety-nine times out of a hundred
he can return my close glance only with his
naked eye. I could nnt cive bim that look if I
had not my glasses. Ho knows that "he is at a
disadvantage, so he answers pleasantly that he
is sorry tbat he did not tbink of that before.
He goes away to find tbe manager and seldom
returns. No. indeed, I would not cive up my
glasses They are more effective than a dflzen
revolvers and a whole set of bowie knives."
A KITTEN IN THE ORGAN.
A Surprised Musician, Clergyman and Con
gregation. New JlfLFORD, Conn, March 14.-The
choral service at All Saints' Church was
bronght to a sodden close last Sunday morn
ing. Tbe organist, Mr. A. L. Conkoy, was
throwing all bis soul into an improvisation, to
which tbe audience were listening with rapt
attention, when suddenly tho music ceased,
hroko right off in the midst of a solemn strain,
and from out the depths ot the labyrinth ot
musical machinery and pipes came a most
agonizing wall as of somo soul awakened to
its sins and crjing in despair over its punish
ment. Mr. Conker was dumfonnded: the rector, in
his robes, stood with a half-scared look of won
derment upon bis features, and the congrega
tion sat transbxed.
In an instant Mr. Conkey disappeared in a
small aperture in tbe side of the organ. Then
came a sound ot spitting and snarling, a me-a-ow,
that set the audience in a titter ot amuse
ment, and the musician reappeared, holding
by tbe neck a diminutive kitten, which had
gone into the organ for a nap. In some way
he bad become caught in the bellows valve,
and not a breath of wind entered the .pipes.
He was dropped from the rear door, the pump
was set to work, and the disgusted musician
resumed tho service.
TOO WET FOR PLEASURE.
Some of the Inconveniences of an Ex
tremely Damp Spring.
Were It not that birds are singing on almost
every bush tbe farmers would commit suicide
these days. Last year tbey spent the usual tax
levy on the roads, with the usual result of mak
imr them worse than they were before. Their
hay, tbo only crop they had last year, is rotting
in the stack, and they cannot get it to market,
and their teams aro eating their hoads oil at
tho rack, as the ground is so wet that tnat the
ploughman Is mired when ho attempts to
plow. The granger no longer takes
any interest in the Signal Service
reports; what he wants is a goosebone,
or some other kind of a prophet who will tell
him whether there Is any relief in store during
1891.
The regular patrons of the Panhandle Rail
way tit on tbe river side of the road expecting
a section of Mt. Washington to slide down
upon them at any moment. One man takes bis
stand alongside of the lavatory of tho car, as
he thinks the extra iramework in that section
may be a protection in case a bowlder came
down. Strangers on trains bnt partly filled ex
press astonishment at seeing nearly ail the pis
sengers hugging the north side of tbe cars. The
cold of the last day or two is only temporary
relief.
Chinese Version of an Old Story.
TheSlaoLt blao.3
A certain man was condemned to tbe thief's
collar, whereupon somo of his relatives seeing
him, asked him- how bo had brought such a
punishment upon himself. He replied:
"As I was going along the road, I chanced to
see on tbe ground a little bit of rope. Think
ing it might perhaps prove useful, I picked it
up and proceeded on my way. Such is the ori
gin of my present trouble."
" "But," replied his relatives, "we cannot be
lieve tbat tbe theft of a pieca of rope would
bring you to thl3 misery."
Said the thiet:
"It is true that there was something at tbe
end of the rope."
They inquired what it was.
"Only," answered he, "two little draught
oxen."
A Queer Privilege.
Saratoga, March 14. Miss Maria R. Audo
bon, of Salem, granddaughter of Jobn James
Audobon, the celebrated naturalist has been a.
guet here of the Hon. and Mrs. E.T. Brackctr.
Miss Audobon has in her possession many valu
able documents of historic interest which
formerly belonged to ber illustrious grand
father. Among them an order written b Hubert
Morri", Major of New York in tola, granting to
John James Audubon and his suns the sole
right to shoot rats and rabbits in tbe Bowery
each day before 6 o'clock in the morning, of
which privilege the famous naturalist and bis
sons availed themselves for tome time and with
must zest- . ,
MURRAY'S MUSINGS,
Character Sketch of a'Knowiug Slessenger
Uojr Philosophy Taught From the
Streets Facts About Sirs. Astors
Dresses Gould and His Jury Fine.
"Ef 1 wuz a noosepaper feller I'd rite a story
for tbem papers as'd make yer hair curl
seer Hully cee! How it'd make 'em bop! x"er
km just bet I've seen some fun in my time.
Welti guess!"
The speaker was one of those stunte d little
old creatures common to tbe Btreets of New
York. Neither boy nor man nor yet dwarf
be bad the stature of a boy, the swagger ot a
man and tbe wilted face of a freak. He was
probably about 12 years of age, but might have
been anywhere from 10 to 15. Tbe face was
the face of a man of SO so rough and leathery
and seamed and weather-beaten was It; bat
the voice was tbe shrill treble of boyhood.
The impression ot excessive age was carried
out by the blue eyes, whicb were small and
woak and watery. Tbere were dark circles
under tbem that spoke eloquently of cigarettes
and cigar stabs. This nondescript personage
wore the uniform of a district messenger a
uniform worn apparently night and day, awake
and in bed, since it had come into bis posses
sion.
The small, round, scarred head that was now
uncovered wa3 a study. It was entirely bald
in streaks and patches, the result of brutal
blows, and where it wasn't bald from scars it
wa3 sparsely covered with a sort of wire-grass
hair that bore the cloudy-appearance of having
been trimmed in a recent hair-catting tourna
ment. The carpet and office fixtures seemed
to embarrass him, for be breathed freer once
again in tbe opon street.
"Tnev aint much in New York I don't know,
an' that's a fac I've lived a'most everywhere
and Jersey City besides. I'm a reglar guide
book, see? The blokes I've taken aiound town;
well, hully geel Never heard ot us steenn'
people 'round nights? Youso sinf no New
Yorker.
"You see some of ns little fellers ainst as
green as we look. Now, you wouldn't take me
fer no spring chicken? An' yer dead right. I
aint. I know this old burg as well as "Spector
Byrnes They're onto us, an' we picks no a
cood bit on our own hook, see? Tips. No;
don't write 'tips.' Sounds liko a waiter at Del
monico's. 'Presents' is the word. Gra gratu
ities see? We ain't no waiters."
With this flno distinction settled to his youth
ful atisfactlon, he proceeded:
"There's one funny old duffer who comes
over the Hobokon ferry onct a montb, an' I
take 'im round. I take care of 'im. see? He
budges it in great shape, he does. He's a jag
on when he gets off the boat, ana piles it in an
night. The tust time I seen 'm 1 wnz flabber
gasted, ef I wnzent I'm"
"The call wuz over tbe wire from the Gedney
House. The onTce sent me. Tliouzht it wnz to
carry a message, see? Wen I come in Mr.
Brugh says. 'There's the gen'lman wants yer,'
piutln' at a big man leanin' oa a trunk. I went
up to bim werry respectfully an' sayB, 'watcher
want?' He braced up a )it onsteady on bis
pins, and looked down at me kind o' curus
like: I don't want no message I want a boj.'
savs he. 'I don't want no -child! Last time I
wanted a messenger they sent me a young man.
Now I want a young man they send me a blank
ety blank baby!'
"He sworo terrible, but I seen his eyes
twlnklin' an' I knowed bo was only funnin.'
So I said he ougbter sent in a message an' wo
could o' suited bim of we had to saw a boy off.
He laffed and asked me ef I knowed New
York. I tole bim ef be como across somctbia
I didn't know he could take it homo to Jersey
with him. This tickled him so much he went
in the bar and got another drink, making roe
hole his umbreller. While he was out
the clerk wrbte tbe time an' name on
my ticket and said it was all right. Wen the
fat man como back he was a jolly jag. He
stood close to me and looked all aronnd tbe
room, and yelled out: 'Were's that boy?
"Then everybody laffed, see? an' this tickled
tho fat man mos' to death. He done this every
where we went that night an' ho must a took
50 drinks yes, and worked that g-ig right
along. Never een a man so pleased with any
thinc:. So was I cos ho give mo a niekel ever
time so 'twas lovely. I blowed 'em In for
craps next day. Since that night this feller
send fer me and won't take nobody el'e. Do?
Idon'tdonothin"sept lug his umbreller, or
overcoat and tell 'im bow to get any weres he
wants to go an' git cabs for 'im and rnn'imin
wenhegitsall he kin Stan'. Yes, and let 'im
e:it off the old gair, see? Hully geel Tbe times
he's played that! But he's a gole mine fer me,
yon bet! I could stock it fer big money.
"They ain't no money in swells. Somo people
thinks they is. but they ain't. Them fellers only
puts ud fer show, and were they is no show no
put up, see? They's two kinds o' people as is
good f i.r money to ns boys love people and
drunks. Wen a men is stack on a girl be is all
the same as a drunk, see? He don't care-a1 cuss
fur expense, an' he just feels bully toward
everybody else. If I had my choice between a
fine old jag and a fine yonng spoon I don't
know which I'd take fnr scads. A man'lt co
his last dollar on his girl an' then borrow more
an' blow that in just like a feller on a jam
borpe. They's notes two or tbree times a day
an' flowers and tlieayter ticket an' runnln' fnr
cabs, an' steady pay for a boy right along as
long as it lasts.
"The old Canajobario cream of tbe business
is wen we bit the combination of a drunk: in
love. Its a double 0. Lots o' fellers git
drunk wen tbey Is In love; but lots
o' more fellers git in Jovo wen they
gits drunk, see? Wy 't is love and whisky
goes to the same "pot and rassles each other I
never knowed. But it docs Wen one downs
'tother then they goe- off and kills 'em com
mits suicide, see? I don't want anything to do
with love or whisky, betcherboots."
Mrs. Astor"s Quarrol With Uncle Sam.
The dresses ef Mrs. William Astor tbat have
been in controversy between herself and Uncle
Sam aro still held at tbe Custom House, and
will probably eventually be sold for the benefit
ot the United States Treasury. Mrs. Astor has
been down there several times to secure the
outfit but tbe ufficials are obdurate, knowing
that any favors granted to tho Astor family
would reflect upon the Collector of tbe Port and
the administration. It appears that these
dresses were sent over by a Parisian modiste
who had been paid for tbem in advance, to
gether with the customs duties. They were to
have been delivered in New York for tbe
round sum. The attempt to beat tbe Treasury
Department out of tho duties was on the part
of the Parisian woman who had guaranteed
Mrs. Astor their delivery, and not the fault of
Mrs. Astor, as has generally been supposed to
be tbe case. The French modiste undervalued
the articles 200 or 300 per cent, and hoped.to es
cape full payment of duties by reason of her
distinguished customer.
'Ibis Government is run on a different plan
evidently tbin the French Republic Our
officials insisted that the difference should be
made up, and Mr. Astor having paid once was
naturally loath io being compelled to fork over
the second time for tbe same thing. Her
remedy oi getting tne amount out oi tne
French dressmaker was of coarse zero. As
tbe costumes were for use this winter and have
been lying in the Custom House since last fall
they are now of no value to the owner, and tbe
inducement tbat she had to take them in the
first place place and submit to tho extortion
now no longer exists. It Is probable that Mrs.
Astor or some of that distinguished family will
live long enough to take it out of the French
dressmaker in some form or other. In the
meantime if some habitue of tbo bargain
counter will watch the Custom House sales she
will get threo or four elegant costumes a trifle
ont of style dog cheap.
Gould Doesn't Like Jury Service.
For tho second time within a year Mr. Jay
Gonlo has refused to obey the law by ignoring
its demand upon bim as a juror. II it were but
the first time be refused to do his duty as an
American citizen as the law requires Mr.
Gould could escape public, condemnation, if
not the fine of SIOO which was levied and col
lected becaue of ills neglect or refusal But
it is the second offense and for that reason at
tracts considerable attention even here where
millionaires are supposed to do as tbey please
wlitn it comes to a question of law or society.
There are no reasons alleged by Mr. Gould or
h is attorneys which might not apply to any other
man who would naturally dislike to leave bis
business and serve on a jury. The only thing
to De said in bis favor Is tbat he is worth some
scores of millions of dollars and that because
of this be is not amenable to tbe
law governing the selection ot jurors.
But tbere aro other millionaires in this
city who have responded to the summons of
the courts and performed their doty just the
same as anybody else. They did not disdain
the task, however disagreeable It might have
appeared to them. The did not seek refuge
behind their millions In tbe effort to avoid ono
of tbe duties of American citizenship.
With Mr. Gould, however, the matter seems
to bo quite different It is tho old story of
"the public bo damned" changed to the laws be
damned. There are a good many people who
would be extremely gratified if tbe judge who
visited Mr. Gould's refusal to serve as a juror
with his judicial censure would send Mr.
Gould to jail instead ot levying that 5100 line.
Tbat is one way to bring such men to term3,
and it would prove effective, too. People oat
Ideof NewYorkwill understand what a New
York trial means when tbe most respectablo
men of this city have always shirked jury duty,
and the administration ot the law has fallen to
the mediocre And the professional and the cor
rupt. There are snme Utopians who are en
deavoring to cet a law compelling all qmlifli'd
citizen of thi State to vote. Voting i rather
a privilege than a dutyand Has been considered
optional from time immemorial, save in the re
cent Hnue of Representatives under Mr.
Reed. But jury service is a doty which be
longs to every American citizen alike, not dis
qualified by reasons defined by law.
CHA3. T. MUBBAT.
New YOBS, March IS.
CURIOUS C0NDE5SATI05S.
Jasper county, Mo., is shipping ore to
Wales and Scotland.
Leavenworth has a curiosity in the shape
of a black calia lily,
Bowling Green, Mo., boasts that not a
man in tbe town nses liquor.
The Farmers' Alliance of Pike county,
Ind.. has captured 4,283 rats.
A poor, helpless little baby out at
Stockton, Kan., has beon named Alliance by IU
mother. ,
The California Museum Association, of
Sacramento, offer a $250 prize for an invention
to utilize the rise and fall of the tides.
A man Hying near Iron river, Wiseon
sin. reports that deer are so numerous in hit
locality tbat they come within 20 feet of his
house at night
At a wedding in Arcadia, Fla., the
other day, tho bride was married to her ninth
husband, and four of her former husbands
were present at tbe ceremony.
A pike was recently taken from the
Avon by an angler who was plumbing the water
with a pocketknife. The knife bad got wedged
at an angle in tho pike's mouth.
Certain impeennious English gentle
men are now making a living by breaking dogs,
and it is worth while to say that the dogs orig
inally helped to break tho English gentlemen.
English officers are aghast at the prop
osition to abolish the cocked ha: and feathers
worn by the snoerior officers of the army. A
major of the Sixteenth Lancers started the
idea.
A New Haven man found a pearl ia
one of the oysters he was disposing of on the
halt-shell plan. It wasn't the pearl with
out price, for a jeweler has offered bim S75
for it.
There is a spot 1,000 miles square in
Central Africa where there is neither coat
iron, water supply, tillable soil, trees foe lum
ber, fodder for stock, or anything else of tha
least value to man.
The Maryland State Museum has been
presented with a petrified oyster, which weizhs
threo pounds and nine ounces, and is 7 inches
long, 7 inches wide and 2 inches thick. It was
recently picked up by one ot the dredgers.
Out of 600 tramps and vagrants over
hauled by tbe Chicago police last year only 19
had on two suspenders. Tbe res: either used a
belt or made one answer all tbe purposes, and
the ope was invariably worn over the left
Shoulder.
There are nearly 100,000,000 acres of
land in tbe Territories of Arizona and New
Mexico whose ownership is in dispute owing to
the confusion growing out of the Mexican
grants and the forzenes of Spanish deeds that
have been prevalent.
U A gatekeeper near Spalding, England,
lost a dock and eventually found it lying dead
in a pond. A large pike attempted to swallow
tho bird.iand had actually goc tbe bead and tbo
whole of the neck down its throat The fish
was just dying of suffocation, m
Several hundred codfish were caught
with gill nets sunk to the bottom of the sound
near Tacoma, Wash . recently. It was the first
catch of regular Eastern cod on that coast, and
the most singular thine: about it is tbat tbey are
f ound In no otner part of the sound.
By way of diversion a distinguished
hostess of London gavo a dinner to a number
of bachelors, with ladies dressed as maid ser
vants to wait on tbem. Another dinner is ex
pected soon, the women to dine and be waited
on by gentlemen attired as footmen.
The great Lick telescope repeals about
100,000,090 or stars, and every one of them is a
sun, theoretically and by analogy giving light
and heat to hi planets. The Lick telescope
reve-iK stars so small tnat It would require
30,009 of them to be visible to tho naked eye.
A quiet and polite old man lives in
Lincoln, Neb, but occasionally be gets drunk.
Tho other night bo accumulated quite a jag
and went to the police station, searched him
self and locked himself uo in a cell. He dis
likes putting anyone to any trouble or incon
venience. A merchant in Syracuse offered a young
woman 20 yards of silk for a dress if she would
naw half a cord of wood in front of his store.
She borrowed a saw. spit on her bands, and
went throueb the woodnile in just three hoars,
and the admiring crowd bought her a 512 hat to
go with the dress. ,
Some Japanese real estate boomers went
ont and founded a town and advertised, as a
leading feature, "a great avenue. 15 feet wide,
running tho length or the town." This extrav
agant waste ot land was reported to the Gov
ernment and the boomers were ordered to sim
mer down or go to prison.
In the valise of an English tourist to
Greenland was a big red apple, and the custom
house men, having never seen one before, and
being unablo to find anyone who bad, took it
for a bomb and made the Lnglishman sit down
and eat it They were quite put out when be
didn't explode and shatter things.
When the chief of the fire department
of Crawfordsville, Ind.; entered the feed Din at
the engine houe the other day he was attacked
by a horde of large, vicious rats. They ran up
his legs, and it was with tbe greatest difficulty
that he beat tbem off. Seizing a club, ha killed
30 or tbe rodents before the fight ended.
One of a series of ingenious models for
the training of teachers in the Jersey City High
School is a cubo root extractor. The name
suggests a dental instrument of some sort
The thing itself, however, is a graduated cone
immersed apex down in a graduated jar halt
fall of water. As the cono displaces water the
line on its face at water mark is always the
cube root of the line on tbe jar's side at water
mark.
Toledo comes to the front with the dis
tinction of having the largest cask in use in this
or any other country. It is of oak. weighs
40.C09 pounds, and holds about 30,000 gallons of
wine, tbat amount of Catawba being to-day
contained within its oaken staves. It R 20 feet
high, 21 feet long and rests in a massive cradle
of oaic. which raises it about tbree feet from
the floor. Underneath this giant is a stone
foundation seven feet in thickness. The cask
was built in 1S&3 and placed in its present posi
tion, the building containing It having been
erected around it afterward. A flight of 2D
steps leid to tho top of tbe cask, where there
is a platform, on which a party so inclined
could dance a quadrille with comfort perhaps
all the better tor the reason of the hilarious
element over which they tripped.
Few clubs iu this country can boast of a
greater array of names prominent in politics,
finance and the turf, than tho New York Driv
ing Club. Among tbe prominent names added
to the membership list durimr the past month
are President Harrison. Secretary Tracy, ex
Presldent Cleveland, Senator W. (i. Brbwn,
Chauncev Jf. Depew, Cornelia Vanderbilt,
Collis P. 'Huntingdon. August Belmonr, J. J.
O'Donohue, W. E. D. Stokes. Colonel J. W.
Couley, owner of Axtell; A. J. Cas'ait, George
W. Carr, President of the Manhattan Athletic
Club: Robert G. Ingersoll, G. Montague. C. J.
Hamlin, ex Judge Gildersleeve, Henry Hilton,
K, A. Back. J. H. Bradford, Captain J. H.
Vanderbilt JohnSbephard and Governor Mor
gan G. Bulkeley. An estimate of the wealth of
the members f the driving clab is placed as
$1,000,000,000. probably a larger sum than tbat
of any other club in the world.
LENTEN LAUGHS.
"Have you never thought, Mr. Cahofcia."
exclaimed tbe soulful Boston girt "that the ln
harmony of litigious and pale-trlc natures is due
to the diversity of view points from which they
inspect the eidolons or the realm or mentality
rather than to any Inherent aloorness In the di
verse pneuinatologlc struciuies themselves, and
tbat a homogeneity of physic Impressions might
be attained by sempiternal efforts to approximate
as to view points?"
Eryes, 1 don't know but 1 have. Miss How
James," replied the young man from St Louis,
helplessly, "but ir I had It right bad 1 think I'd
call a doctor. "Chicago Tribune.
SONO OF THE HAPPT FAH1IEB.
Since'we figured on Alliance
As a first-class farm appliance
e've concluded tbat old-fashioned ways wont
wash:
Pigs and wheat we'll keep a raising.
But at Government apnralslng
AVe'H raise some money on our farms, by gosh!
. U'asM ngton Post.
Vender Patent Medicine Yes, sir, this is
a wonderful medicine. I know many wno praise
It to tbe skies.
Bill Boggs No doubt madam, no donbt It
has sent many to the skies to praise It Sta lork
Herald.
Sanso There is one thing that every
woman UkesJo have a finger la.
,liodd-What' that?
'bauso An engagement Ting. Harper'! Bazar.
Master (to new servant) Why do you
always ring that small bell right after ringing tbe
regular dinner bell? .
ew Servant That's lo call tho children, rlA
Jirake i Jlagatlne ,
Guest (m a downtown restaurant) .
Walter, a piece of mince-ple. '
Walter-Yes, sir. With or without! .
Ouett-Wlth or without what?
Wklter-N lghtmare . Pne.
X