THE' PITTSBURG DISPATCH, SATURDAY, MARCH .14," 1891. THE SOUTH SEA CANNIBALS Are Graphically Described By ROBERT LOUIS STEVENSON, Who Resumes His Letters in TO-MORROW'S MAMMOTH DISPATCH. THE REBELLION IN CHILE Will Be Explained by a Correspondent WHO WRITES ON THE SPOT. A Unique Feature for To-Morrow it BABV McKEE'S HOROSCOPE. To-M or row's Issue Will Be Found Full of Interest to All Who KEEP PACE W.TH THE NEWS. People Who Have Money to Invest Should Scan Its Columns. Bargain Hunters Will Find in It Valuable Offerings. Clerks, Artisans, Workers, Male and Female, Will Profit by It. House Hunters and Home Buyers Should Not Miss It. It Leads in Advertising as Well as News and Literature. GET A COPY TO-MORROW. Have It Left at Your Home by Newspaper or Mail Carrier. IT CAN BE HAD EVERYWHERE. nerceive that reforms restricting tbe opera tions of the electoral market would be to their disadvantage, and might eventually reach the stage of selling their votes and de livering the goods from the same motive of self-interest. This feature of Canadian politics is calcu lated to exercise a restraining influence on the rumored appetite of this nation for an nexation. A country in which the reform ers propose that votes shall be sold and the purchasers cheated would furnish an al together unnecessary element in the politics of our own dear land. Wje B$paft&. ESTABLISHED FEBRUARY JSI3. Vol. 4 No. 3 -Fnt-red at PlllsDurgPostoffice, November It. bsT. as second-class matter. Business Office Corner Smithfleld and Diamond Streets. News Booms and Publishing House 75, 77 and 79 Diamond Street KASTIKN ADVERTISING OFFICE. ROOM t TltlliUNi: lit II.DIXG. NEW YORK, where complete fllc at 111L DlbPATCH can always be Sound, rorelgn advertisers appreciate the con venience. Home advertisers and friends ol THE Dlil'AK.H. while In iiw lork, are also made vclconie. THE V1SFATCII is legulmly on sale at JSrciitano'x. S Union Square. Jnc York, aid 17 jit-e. de VOpe a, Fans, Frtncc, uheie anyone it Tic has been disappointed at a hotel news stand con ob:ain it TEK31S OF THE DISPATCH. roTAr.E rr.rE is the cxited states. Ijkiir DiM-ATCi?. One Year s no Daily Diervrcn. lcr Quarter 1 00 Uailt Di'rATCH. One Month TO DaIli Ditatch, Including bnnday, J year. 30 00 11A1L1 DlSPATCn, includlni:bunday,3n'tlis ICO Daily Dispatch, including bunday, lm'th 90 M'NDAi DITATCH, One lcar ISO Weekly' Dispatch, One Year 115 Tlir; Daily DisrATcn is delivered by carriers at Tfctnts per week, or including Monday edition, at f tccnts per -week. FITTSBURG. SATURDAY. MAR. . 1S9L A NEW COAL MARKET. The striking thoughts on the future of the coal trade of Pittsburg presented in 4 special article in to-day's Dispatch deserve the consideration of every man concerned in the business prosperity of Pittsburg. The statements ot fact are indisputable. The conclusions pointed out as the necessary inference from the facts are irresistible. Competition which Pittsburg coal meets on every side from fields of production which he between "Western Pennsylvania and its most important markets has long been a recognized and important factor. The superior quality and cheapness of tbe Pittsburg article has enabled it to bear the competition of the central and southern field, even with the added burden of decided discriminations, such as that im posed by the Central Traffic Association in favor ot Hocking Valley coal, or that created by the Government's lurnisbing an improved waterway to Kanawha coal free of tolls. But it is the fact that the competition J of these fields has been more and more felt in the limitation of the markets for Pitts burg coal. Under these circumstances the obvious policy is to look for new markets. The direction in which they can be sought is pointed out very forcibly by the article re ferred to. The completion of the Pittsburg and Lake Erie Canal would not only give "Western Pennsylvania complete control of the lake and Northwestern coal trade at an economy of 50 to 60 cenis per ton; but with the corelated project of the deepening of the Erie Canal would take Pittsburg coal into Central New York and thence to the ocean at New York City at a cost that would give it the command of a limitless market It is pertinent that while the deepening of the Erie Canal might be necessary to secure the fullest economy, six-feet barges loaded with coal could pass from the Monongahela river mines to New York City as soon as the Pittsburg and Lake Erie Canal was opened. The figures which show the advantages of the proposed route simply on the coal traffic alone are very striking. "We are now ship ping coal to New Orleans, 2,000 miles, with several productive fields intervening be tween us and that limited market, The new route would give us the unlimited market of New York by a water route of 70B miles in length. The fact that Pittsburg coal conld be snld in New York a dollar per ton cheaper than present prices represents a saving in the fuel bills of New York and New England that would pay for the canal improvements in five years. No more strik ing proof of the value of such a project of internal improvements can be given than the fact that while it has been proposed to spend various amounts, from 54,000,000 to 540.000,000 in subsidies to ocean commerce the expenditure ol 510,000,000 annually for five j ears would give ocean steamers cheap coal at New York to a degree that would equal a subsidy of 5500 per day on the largest steamers. Such a showing of what can be gained to a single interest by this project is very ef fective. The gain to the coal trade is not so great as that to the iron trade from the same project Both together, they are decisive as to the value of the canal. A KEFOKM METHOD. There have been intimations that the late election in Canada was marked by very strong examples of practical politics; but nothing in that line has surpassed the advice or oue Liberal organ. The Ottawa Ira JVcss took the high ground of advising its readers if they were offered money to vote for the Tory candidates they should "take the money and vote for the reform candidates." This is spoiling the Egyptians with a ven geance. No such impracticable theory of politics as that the voters should spurn the offers of money hampered the views of this Canadian reform journal. Its idea of re form politics is that the voters shall sell their votes for all they can get and theu quietly omit to deliver the goods. The cas uistry of the case affords some room for ar gument. On the old theory that it is no sin to steal from a thief's stock of plunder, there may be some ground for the claim that when an attempt is made to corrupt an election by the use of money, it is legitimate to put an additional touch to corruption by cheat ing the corrupter?. But there seems to be danger to fear that the reform secured bv such means would not prove lasting. Peo ple being educated up or down to the idea that the purpose of elections is to let them realize money out of their votes, would soon EXTRAVAGANCE AXD PARTIES. The stunning nature of the total of ap propriations made by the last Congress in spires the New York Sun to take advantage of the opportunity to claim for the Demo cratic party the credit of being the party of economy in State and nation. To sup port this claim it cites numerous authorita tive declarations of the Democracy in favor of economy of the public service. The declaration of Tilden, that "everv uselul and necessary Governmental action at a proper cost is productive labor; every ex cess beyond that is a public burden," the pledges of the National Democratic plat forms of 1880. 1884 and 1SS8 in favor oi the restoration of economy and the reduc tion of taxation are cited by our cotem porary to prove its claim that "the Democ racy is pledged and committed by assur ances the most solemn and binding to frugality in the public expenditure," and that "it cannot countenance any other policy without violence to its record and disaster to its hopes." This is a most commendable conclusion. But as to its effect as showing that the Democracy is especially worthy of public confidence in this respect it does not quite take in the whole subject If it were worth while numerous pledges of economy could be cited from Republican platforms; and the events which have followed on those pledges conld be made to give peculiar force to the conclusion that the Republican party like the Democracy cannot ignore those pledges without disaster. The touchstone of the value of platform pledges lies in their performance. That test is worth applying to the promises of the Democracy. We see that in 1880 and 1881 that party was pledged to the reduction of public expenditures from the standard then existing. During the greater part of the time following, un to 1889, the Democracy had control of enough of the Government to prevent extravagance; but so far from reducing expenditures below the standard of 1884, there was an actnal en largement of them. The increase was not such a gigantic one as that made by tbe last Congress; but it was no slight enlargement of the expenditures which the Democracy had already declared to be excessive. Not only was the Democratic platform re duced to waste paper in this respect, but the Democratic managers of the House actually made the change in the rules as to the treatment of appiopriation? bills which opened the gates to the flood of extravagant appropriations that followed in the las4, four years. Prior to the attack made on the late Samuel J. Randall all appropriation bills bad to come before the House from the Committee on Appropriations. This en abled that body to form tbe public expendi ture on a homogeneous plan and restrain the total of appropriations within a fixed limit As the Sun showed tbe other day, this rule was changed in order to punish Mr. Randall for his views on the tariff question and his undoubted use of his power over the appropriation bills to check the progress of tariff reduction measures. But in placing tariff reduction above economy the Democratic managers placed it in tha power of every committee dealing with an appropriation to increase expenditures, and took the step which has done the most toward producing the late extravagance. Everyone knows that in their personal conduct Democratic members are just as active in getting their share out of the gen eral grab-bag as Republican members. That does not diminish the responsibility of the majority for excessive expenditures. Nor does it obscure the fact that no Democratic Congress has ever equalled the stupendous record of the late Republican Congress in establishing a high water mark for lavish appropriations. But the reference to the platform pledges of the Democracy for economy renders it pertinent to recall the fact that these pledges were not redeemed. If they had been made good by a material reduction of Governmental expenditures from tbe standard of 1884, there is no doubt that the result of 188S would have been different As it is, while the Democratic record is neither so recent or so stunning as the Re publican, there is no doubt that the two parties are tarred with the same stick. The hunger ot the practical politician for an ap propriation is as keen on one side of the fence as on the other. But if the Demo crats show that they have learned by the ex perience of the past four years sufficiently to lend a vigorous performance to their pledges of economy, they may succeed in establishing a notable difference between race for tha While House long before the contest actually begins. They are the would-be Warwicks of a republic, lacking only nerve and ability. Their industry is their sole commendable trait, and it might be employed in more useful channels. Almost every man of the least note In public lire has suffered from mistaken kind ness of this sort Some of the mistakes of the Warwicks, however, have given rise to suspicion that certain "possibilities" Rre constructed with maiice ."forethought The "possibility" manufactured for Governor Pattison is an example of the latter, as was shown in TnE Dispatch some time ago. The latest victim is Senator-elect Palmer, of Illinois, who has not yet had time to get accustomed to his new title. This does not deter the political prognosti cated. Under the assumption that the next Democratic Presidental nominee must come from the West, they are now laboring to prove that Palmer is the very man for whom the Democracy has been looking. They confidently claim that Victory will be so pleased by his selection that she will gladly perch for four years upon banners em blazoned with his name. All this is pre mature. The time for weighing and meas uring candidates may have arrived, and in telligent discussion of individual chances may be in order, but "possibilities" At this season are liable to find themselves in the position of the chick that left its shell too soon. COMMEND VBLE PKOJ1P TNESS. The fall of some of the walls of the burned buildings on Wood street, during the high winds yesterday, is nn evidence of the necessity of the promptest possible removal of such elements of danger. Even with tbe prompt action taken in this case, it was demonstrated that the danger from shaky walls in high winds is an actualand press ing one. Some talk is reported of an action for damages because one of the walls which fell and damaged an adjacent building is al leged to have been thrown down by orders of the authorities. The matter of legal liability will, of course, be determined by the Courts; but in regard to the question of public safety involved in getting the walls down as quickly and safely as possible, it is evident that the authorities took the proper course. Whatever may have been the case as to that particular section of wall of the Germania building it is clear that some of the walls had already been blown down by the wind, that the dancer from those still standing was immi nent, and that the liability to money dam age was as great if thev were left as if they were thrown, with the incalculable addition of danger of life, if it was not promptly removed. Under these circumstances, to do anything but get the walls down as quickly as possi ble, would have been criminal negligence. We congratulate the public and the authori ties on the fact that the danger was removed so promptly and thoroughly, and that there was no loss of life or limb, which considera tion is far more important than the damage to property. fooled too grass into believing that spring was come. A cigarette cost an Omaha man $150, 000. Some addle-pated fool dropped the paper covered thing into a cellar; there was a blaze, and tbe amount represents tbe loss above in surance. An Eastern cotemporary ssys that "it is not altogether surprising" that the President has refused to pardon John C. Eno, at present sojourning In Canada, as a result ol some Irregularities In connection with a New York bank. Considering that Mr. Eno is understood to have recently fallen heir to an estate ot some twenty millions, and in view of the gen eral theory that the owner of such wealth can do no wrong, the refusal is rather surprising, but it is no less gratifying. Agaix the talk of that new line of steamers which Mr. Corbin is to run from Mon tank Point to Jlilford Haven in five days, makes itself heard. Talk is cheaper than building steamers; and the enterprise will be more worthy of public discussion when the big boats begin their trips. Governor Hix,ii can now revise his famous definition of his political position to this effect: "I am a double Democratic office holder." While there is considerable dissent to tho principle of forbidding legislators to accept free dinners, analogy presents a clear settle ment of the question. Some years ago when tho free pass issue was prominent it was argued that the way to settle it was for the State to provide all legislators with free passes by lair. On the samo principle the State should provide all legislators who want free dinners with free board, lodging and clothing in a State instita tion for a term of years. The gauzy story about a discovery of an oil well on James G. Blaine's farm up the Ili nongahela river is again making tbe roundj. We really wish the story wero true, for then the Secretary of State could settle the Berlrb Sea controversy by pouring oil upon tho troubled waters. The March winds yesterday did their best to make up to tho people for tbe adjourn ment of Congress. The old question of the drain of money from the business centers by the Treasury sur plus is taken -up again by the Philadelphia Record, with tbe claim that tbe Treasury should put its money in tbe banks. The es teemed Record is behind the times. Tbe late Congress solved tbe difficulty it alluaes to thor oughly, having made provision for putting tho Treasury funds in active circulation through the medium of the blsrgest appropriations on record. FAME'S FAMILIARS. OTJR CAPTIVE INDIAN CHIEFS. There are two little news items from Chi cago published this morning which may have an important relation to each other. In one item an educated Indian is quoted as believing another uprising of his people to be probable, and the other tells of Secre tary Noble's consent to Buffalo Bill's tak ing tbe ghost dancers, now imprisoned at Fort Sheridan, out of the country for show purposes. In the educated Indian's re marks, the reason given for the probability of an uprising is the imprisonment of the chiefs at fort Sheridan, coupled by the fear that they will be put to death. By tbe item referring to Buffalo Bill this fear is proven to be groundless, but the poor savages, when they hear that thiir chiefs are going to be sent across the ocean to learn the bad habits of modern Europe, may think that they have even better reasons for going to war than they would have had with their chiefs merely killed. Tnere is something else peculiar about one of the items. It seems that not so very long agn the powers that be declared that no more Indians Bhould be taken out of the country for tho purpose of exhibition. The innocent savages were said to be very easily demoralized, and their interests required them to be kept at home. Somebody else's interests now seem to require their presence abroad, demoralization or no demoraliza tion. Who is this somebody else? tbe two parties. OBSTRUCTING THE HO AD LAWS. Those Democrats who think they are cur ryins favor with the fanners by opposing the road law will find that, both as indi viduals and party men, they are making a serious mistake. Why it should be con ceived a fit policy for any party to oppose improvement where improvement is so urgently needed is beyond comprehension. There is nothing smart, nothing reasonable and nothing in any waycoaimendable in re fusing to r.o-operate with the Republicans in at least an effort in making the country roads passable. This is not a party question at all. Nothing less than dense stupidity should seek to make it one. We trust that the best intelligence will prevail at Harrisburg. upon this road mat ter, and that the old fogies will not be per mitted to block legislation. The Senators and Representatives who may make them selves conspicuous by pressing lor good roads will commend themselves to the con sideration and hearty support of the best opinion of the State. On the other hand, those who are unwilling to helD and dis posed to hinder will equally be remembered, but with a very different feeling. Is view of the statement that ex-President Cleveland cannot now remember having received a letter from Mr. YV'atterson, it is necessary to urge upon our esteemed Kentucky cotemporary the following rules for conducting his correspondence: (1) Keep letter-press copies of the letters; (2) register the letters when you mail them; (3) if you wish to pre serve jour popularity with the Democratic leaders, don't mail the letters at all. In view of the musical exercises with which recent legislative events have been cele brated, there is point in the suggestion that the legislatures should create the office of musical conductor if they do not set up a full orchestra. PRESIDENTAL POSSIBILITIES. The rajjidily with which a man can be come a "Presidental possibility" is really amusing. Theoretically, every native American' has a chance of occupying the Chief magistrate's chair at Washington; practically, he has not The majority of citizens recognize the difference between theory and practice in this matter, and, politically, concern themselves chiefly with supporting the regular nominees of the two great parties. But there are some who also recognize the difference noted, yet take an other course. These latter are the makers of "Presidental possibilities." They know they cannot become Presidents themselves, but imagine they are the possessors of a gift enabling them to pick out the winner in the The important question whether a Judge can bo permitted to pend his extra-judicial hoars in bucking the tiger was recently passed upon by tho Washington Legislature, in a vote upon the impeachment of a Judge for that of fice. The result of tho vote was a narrow es cape for the royal game of faro, the vote hav ing been sufficient to place the hazardous game under the ban in one branch, but was a tie in the other. The inference is that Washington jndgc may continue to copper the ace, in private; but the narrow escape of the hunter of the tiger conveys the warning that judicial amusements of that sort should bo strictly sub judice, so to speak. The Pope has telegraphed his blessing to Dr. Windthorst Congressman Joe Cannon wound up his career by saving that he was an applicant for nothing except the grace of God. Queen Victoria's granddaughter, who is the wife of the Grand Duke Scrgius, of Rus sia, is about to be converted to tho Greek Catholic faith. Sir John a. Macdonald thinks that the title "Americans" should be reserved for Canadians. He calls tbe people of the United States 'Yankees'" Ex-Senator In galls is visiting his aged parents in West Boxbury, Mass. He de nies tho rumor that he is about to re-enter journalism in New York. Herr Gustav Frettag, the well known Gerina-i author, who is now about 75 years of age. was married at Vienna Tuesday last to Mme. Strakoscj, who Is separated from her other husband. Miss Marie de Barbie, niece of ex Peruvian Minister Berrada, is ono of the hand somest women in New York. She is a delicate type of the purest Spanish womanhood, is re fined, dresses well and is very wealthy. Mrs. Eleanor Baker's large bequests to educational and benevolent institutions, amounting to f 1.000,000, represent money made in chocolate. She was the wife of Walter Baker, who made a large fortune in the choco late trade. The late Jonathan Scoville had intended to leave a large bequest to the Academy of Fino Arts in Buffalo, but it was revoked in a codicil to bis will written after no acknowledgment had been made of tbe receipt of some statuary be had sent to tbe academy. Mme. Bernhardt is said to be ot Hollander-Jewish origin, and to have been born in Amsterdam about 46 years aco. Less is known to the public of the antecedents of this brilliant French actress than of almost any other artist who has gained like celebrity. Thomas Ball, the sculptor, is busy with a colossal Washington in bronze, which Mrs. Hopkins-Searlu is about to give to the town of Metberen. The base of the statue will contain busts of the great Revolutionary Generals, and at each corner will be figures emblematical of Oppression, Revolution, Victory and Paece. EX-POSTMASTER GENERAI, FRANK Hattox, of tho Washington Post, is at the Fifth Avenue Hotel, Now York. He has re covered considerably from his severe attack of rheumatism, but still has twinges in his wrists and ankles. He bangs to bis criticism of the Civil Service Commissioners as to a hobby, and openly declares that he will have either tho scalp of Commissioner Lyman or of President Harrison. MSS. WIICE'S NEW SCAIP. SNAP SHOTS IN SEASON. The successful oculist must have a bad eye for business. Like one vast household is this populous planet of ours now. Tbongh tongues differ, hearts and purposes are the same all over tbe big balL Every sunset finds us closer, and every sunrise gilds higher hopes, loftier thonghts, better aims. Sympathetic, too, is tbe pulse that throbs under that touch of the uni versal fellowship engendered by commercial intercourse, the never ceasing exchange of thought, the constant flow of soul that, like a gulf stream in tbe sea ot life, tempers the chill winds and cold waters and melts the hard ice on formality's frigid shores. Human progress has surely worked wonders in this direction. A disaster afar off is lamented In a language we cannot understand, bat beside the key sits the translators, and over the whole earth the story is told in the mother tongues. Then tbe pnlse ot the world beats in unison, the hearts of the human family throb In sor rowful accord. By the swift transfusion and translation of tbe thought of the peoples of the earth, we bavo come to understand that humanity is alike, though flags, faces, colors, laws, creeds, customs, costumes, amusements differ. Love, joy, sorrow the three disturbers are the same, you know. The world's business needs, the grasping for wealth, tbe striving for betterments, have led to close relations, and tbo means for drivlnc bargains are so perfect that a bnyer at Bombay trafQcks with a seller at Pittsburg without cither leaving their cozy offices. They never met, speak each a different tongue, but they grow sympathetic, tnd Oncers clasp acros an ocean and over a continent The unsettling of a market if Europe causes a fluctuation in America. A panic in London eives uneasiness in New York. In order to avert disaster belplnir bands reach out over the waters, while hopeful words flafch through them. And so the wires and tbe rails, the loco motives and the ships, keep on weaving and spinning a mantle to cover tbe world and a rope to bind it closer together. Surely hearts grow warmer and sorrows sit lighter as the barriers are broken by trade's magic touch and hu manity broadened by thought's swift transfu sion. The first serpentine walk was laid out in the Garden of Eden. If human beings were bred as carefully as dogs there would not bo so many doughheads in tbe world. Jolly parties. dogs frequently attend whine Surface signs indicate that the next Senator from California will have more money than brains. The limited male A dude on an allow ance of $5 a week. Kentucky Janes make good wives. Pittsburg Dispatch. How so? Good wives out of cheap material Lima Timef, It may be cheap, dear boy, but tbe colors don't run in the wasb, audit wears well, and that's what we want, you know. There's a good deal in a pack of cards and a bad diel also. Of course the devil fish can catch soles, too. Once in a while a wildcat is shot in the oil fields. In France the rich men are very franc fellows. Letters of credit Quarterly bills. The museum faster is keeping Lent with a vengeance. Robinson Crusoe kept good Friday longer tban the best churchman that ever lived. Mr. Blaine has the worst of the seal controversy, but some of the organs picture him as a winner. Read up, boys, and carefully peruse Salisbury's last epistle before putting your foot In further. The cream of society flavors the high tea. Fire brick makes good pavements, but common brick pavements should be fired. A nobleman advertises in a New York paper for a wife, girls. None but heiresses need apply. Satan seems to be Inneral director when a Congressman is carried by rail to tbe ceme tery. The rival fire engine makers should throw water instead of mud. Someone should turn the hose on them. The anti-nude cranks in Philadelphia even turn aside from bare facti. STORIES AND TRUTH. A Falnfal Error Some Points on Pepper A Strange Snake Story How to Be Hun gry at Breakfast The Monkey and tho Cigar Making an English Knight. The polite young man came from New York not long ago, and one of bis acquaintances was a pretty girl, whose mother is a physician and surgeon. The other day he went to call npon tho young lady, in spito of tho fact that be had an ulcerated tooth, around which the gums were perceptibly swollen. At the door ho asked if the ladies were at home and gave tbe maid two cards, one for tbe mother ana tbe other for the daughter. Mrs. Blank unfortunately was out, but Miss Blank was at home. She received him in the drawing room, and, after be had politely ex pressed his regret that her mother was not in, tbe conversation drifted to various topics. In about half an hour Mrs. Blank came home and was informed by the maid that a young gen tleman was in the drawing room and wished to see her. Her mind was tilled with professional business, and naturally concluded that her visitor was a patient desiring treatment. Like a whirlwind she burst into the room where the daughter and the young man were chatting, walked straight np to tbe youth, pointed her finger at bis s ollen cheek and said: "I know what's the matter with you?" Then she left the .room. The young man was so astonished by the peculiar conduct of Mrs. Blank that ho could not speak, and when she returned he was still dumb. She grasped bis head, ordered him to open his month, inserted a formidable-looking surgical instrument and lanced his gum. It would have been as useless to protest, as it was physically impossible. "Now," tbe lady said, when she bad finished the operation, "you go straight home and go to bed and stay there. Don't you get' up again for three days. Go along now and don't waste any time on the way." And tbe polite young man wont Wh""n Mrs. Blank reads this, rajs the New York Evening Telegram, she will learn for tbe first time that he had no idea of applying for treatment, but was merely paying a social call. single stroke ot Her Majesty's sword, trans formed into sir kntgbr, and be is permitted, perchance, to kiss bis sovereign's finger tips in grateful acknowledgment of tbe distinguished honor. In other cases tban this of a plain knighthood, ana when the title carries with it a decoration, the gracious Queen, with her own royal hands, pins the glittering and mnch-cov-etod bauble upon the coat of her elevated sub ject This is all tbe ceremony connected with tbe conferring of knighthood, hot it Is a great deal to the recipient CURIOUS CONDENSATIONS. A good "ad" man's receipts. adds greatly to a business That "officer of the British navy" who predicts war between the United States and Great Britain, is a specimen of tbe Jingo class who breaks loose from bis keepers about once In every three jears. The best guarantee which we have against such a war is that if it could be more disastrous to any other country than the United States it would be so to Great Britain. The fact that a state, of warfare exists be tween the Governors of New York arid Con necticut is sufficiently demonstrated by tbe statement that they have not yet agreed upon an exchange of prisoners. Concerning that spree in connection with Senator Hearst's funeral, a cotemporary declares: "The funeral of a dead Senator is hardly tbe occasion for a junket ot fellow mem bers." If the practical politicians are frank they will reply to this with the inquiry: What else is the funeral of a dead Senator good for? Senator Hearst's public career may not have been very striking; but tbe spree at his funeral on one side of the continent and the brisk bid ding for the pnrchase of bis seat on tbe other make the termination of his publio life ex tremely instructive. New York is disturbed over the sudden appearance of a green spot In City Hall Park, while all tho surrouudlug ground is baro ana frozen. Possibly same old-timer is buried there, and his indignation over tbe way things are rnn at present in the metropolis makes him so hot that the calorio has permeated the earth and The Third Grafting Operation Successfully Performed. New York, March 13. Three successful skin-grafting operations upon one patient have recently been performed at Bcllevne Hospital. Tne patient is Mrs.'Minnie Wuck. 24 years old, whose entire scalp was torn off in her husband's laundry on December 26 last The accident was caused by Mrs. Wilck's hair being caught in the leather belting which revolves around a pulley worked by steam. An ambulance from Bellevuo Hospital took tho woman away before her hair, which had become entangled in tbe machinery, could be released, but later on her husband appeared with tbe scalp, which was put back on herhcad and has now grown thereto. Tho skin on her neck and faco was also- torn, and to cave her from disfigurement the. physicians determined to graft new skin. When Delia Eagan, a 17-year-old cirl with plentv nf pluck, learned of Mrs. Wilck's nlisht. she volunteered her services because Mrs. Wilck once nursed her through a long illness. 'Ihreo operations were performed, tho last one being coniummated on Wednesday with entire suicou. Miss Eagan has red hair and blue eyes, and said that it didn't hurt because they gavo ber something to smell which put her to sleep. She was formerly emploiod in Wilck's laundry and said that her action was entirely voluntary. REV0LVEKS IN WAIST BELTS. The United Evpress Company's New Order to Its Messengers. Philadelphia, March 13. All tbo messen gers of tbe United States Express Company bavo received orders from tho general super intendent to wear belts with a holster for their revolvers. The belt is to be worn on the out side of all clothing when on the way from one office to another. The messengers do not mind wearing the belt while in their cars, but object to it un the street as it would make tbem unpleasantly conspicuous and might invite attack. The object is for them to have their weapon bandy in case of sudden emergency, but the men think It is quite as handy in their pockets. A Chicago View. Chicago News. For average intelligence we believe that our criminal classes will compare favorably with those of any other land. Chauncey M. Bepew John D. Rockefeller and tbe Vanderbllts have never been accused of illiteracy. They" are in deed an ornament to any jail to which they may be taken upon arrest Or tho Richest ,ewTork Press. Tbe California Legislature began balloting yesterday for a successor, to the late Senator Hearst Republicans have 90 out of la) mem bers, but as no caucus has been called, the con test is a go-as-you-please race, with eight or ten names entered. May the best man- wlnl ' ' Lillian Russell now wears the cost liest costnme in ber set It cost her a pretty pa iny to be permitted to wear skirts instead of fleshings. People with cataracts in their should be able to shed copious tears. eye Points on Pepper. Pepper in its natural state, says the Popular Science News, that is. In the kernel, is the fruit of a plant of creeping or climbing habit and cf branching growth. It attains a height of some SO feet Its leaves are short-stemmed, uniform and pointed. On the immense East Indian pep por plantations the young cuttings are set out in long rows and trained on poles. In this par ticular it bears a striking resemblance to a hop field. The plant bears fruit In its first year, but not to any great extent It is most prolific from its fourth to its twentieth year, during which period the annual yield of a single plant Is from 9 to 11 pounds, on the average. The har vest season commences as soon as tho uniform little green berries begin to turn red. Theyare then plucked and spread out on great platters to dry in the sun's warm rays, or by means of a slow fire. This treatment causes the outer shell to shrivel and turn black. White nenper is gathered from tbe same plant as tbe black pep- li, tuu uisbiui'iimi uuiiiK luab lub juriiier is ground from ripe berries, from which tbe outer black shell has first been removed. Because of this thorough maturity of the berry and tbe absence of the outer shell, it Is much milder than the black. The strongest 'species of black pepper is knowu as the "Piper offlcinarum." Its fruit tbo berry, is long, having a reddish-gray ex terior and a very dark interior. Anotner, not belonging to the pepper family proper, but coming under ihe nightshade (Solaneen), is the Spauish pepper (C'apsicns longum), whoso gleaming red fruit is too familiar to require de tailed mention. Strange Snake Story. Early in January of the present year, accord ing to the St Louis Jiepublic, a woodman engaged in chopping some of the monster oaks in the northern part of the creat "Black Forest," Germany, and who had built a Are against a large dead log preparatory to partak ing of his midday meal, was surprised to see a serpent of gigantic proportions crawl from the log as soon as the rotten wood had got well warmed through. The day was bitter cold and the snake only made a few yards over the frozen ground until his convolutions became smaller and smaller, until be finally ceased to wriggle and quietly coiled up near a large pile of brusb. Tbe sturdy German chopper, who had been more surprised than scared, waited until the creature 'bad become thoroughly benumbed with tho cold and then approached and dispatched him with tbe ax. Measure ments showed the slimy creature to be 27 feet 6 inches in length and nearly 15 inches througb tbe body in tbe middle. But the most curious part of tbe story is yet to be told: Just back of tbe immense bead, which was 11 inches in length and almost as broad, a little gold ring had been put through the skin. It was in tbe form of two rings rather tban one, being shaped not unlike a figure 8. One part of tbe ring was throngh tbe skin while the other was through a bole in a small copper coin bearing date of 1712. One side of tbe com was perfectly smooth, with tho exception of these letters and figures which had evidently been cot on it with a pocket knife, the uorkmanship being very rough: "Louis Krutzer, B. G. O.. 1781." Some of the older inhabitants of tbe "Black Forest" re member of bearing their parents tell of "Krutzer, tho serpent charmer," and they all unite in declaring that this gigantic serpent was lormeriy tne property ol ins oiu "charmer," and that it was at least 115 years old when killed by the woodchopperon that cold January day of 1S9L SWEETS OF SOCIETY. Honors Even Between Two Literary Socle- ties Second Sternberg Recital Enter tainments Past and to Come The Social Chatter of a Day. Honors are easy with 'the King and Carneeie Literary societies of Curry University. The King gavo an open entertainment some time ago, that caused any amount of favoranle com ment for its excellence, and the Carnegie came to the frqnt last evening, with an entertain ment of equal merit The hall was filled, and the overflow extended half way down tbe first stairway, and the applause was as great from those who could only hear as from the more fortunate, who could botlf bear and see. Misses Jennie Clary and Laura Josenbaus. with a piano duet, opened the programme, and the President Joseph D. Williams, follovi ert in an address on "Mental Evolution." Miss Tillle Mackintosh Was then hpftrd in vnMl cnln find Miss Mayme Bnrnett in "The Holly Branch" recitation. "The Blacksmith in the Woods." a Pjjno solo, by Miss Hallie Deems, preceded Miss Theodora Marshall's recitation, "fbo Christmas Dinner Partv." A quartet "Four Little Ischin Tschin Girls." from "Pearl of Pekin " nas rendered by Misses Alma Rchafer. J;i?rra f ?! '! c"rie hchaferand Anna Perrine. Would I Were With Thee." with violin obli Ka.l?Vwats sunR by Mlss Katherine Ball. i "i "l? tonKS of Seen." by Jean Ingelow. con cluded the entertainmenr. The introduction was made by Georgo H. Kane and the others who took part were Utile Olive King, tha Misses Emma Virzinia Schmidt, Mavrae Bur nett, Sadie Emyle Wolfe, Anna Ernetein Kumni, sara iurtin Doughett and Theodora Marshall. The music was under the direction of Prof. S.BisselU Carnegie Hall Recitals. An unusually attractive programme has been prepared for tbe free organ recital at Carnezio Hall this afternoon. Mrs. James E. Porter whose merit as a vocalist has been amply dera- onstrated. will sing a farewell song to her inenus, ana in one of her three numbers, "Fiddle and L" Miss Mamie French will play a violin obligato. City Organist Wales will in clude in his prozramme such gems as a "March" bv Gade, a potpourri of "Martha," the "Artist Life" waltzes by Strauss, and choico morsels from Schumann. Jungmann and others. Presented With a Gold Chain. Captain W. L. Hagar, a well-known and pop ular official of the Pittsburg and Lake Erie Railroad, was waylaid by a number of hi friends last night, who met him by appoint ment, andto his surprise presented him with an elegant gold chain and charm as a mark of their appreciation. The little gathering was entirely informal, and complimentary speeches were delivered "off hand,' eulogistic of the hero of the evening. The Second Sternberg Recital. Under tbe management of Prof. J. H. Git tings, the eminent pianist Constantin Stern berg, appeared last evening at Old City Hall. An insignificant audlencu in numbers greeted the gentleman, but one composed of musical and cultured people. The prozramme em braced all classes of music from standard and classical composers, and was interpreted as only Constantin Sternberg can. Last Dance of the Season. The Alhambra Cotillon Club gave its last dance of the season last evening at tbe Monon gahela House. About 100 guests were present, and a sumptuous supper was served after tbe dancing was over. Social Chatter. AT last evening's session of the Teachers' In stitute, held in the Butler STeet M. E. Cbnrcb, a lecture on "Coup d'Etat in Brazil" was deliv ered by Delos Fall. Franz Rummel. the great pianist will give two piano recitals at Old City Hall next week, the first Monday evening, the second Wednes day afternoon. rnor. m. Li. uuooe will lecture on "Greece" in the Pittsburg Club Theater on the evenings of Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday of next week. The lecture by Prof. Eliot of Harvard Uni versity, will be quite a feature this evening. It will be followed by a reception. Miss Nellie Nichols will talk on "Class Drill and Physical Culture," at the Teachers' Institute, this morning. Miss aones Dickson gave a dinner last evening to yonng friends. Gas-bags can be found in every well regulated dental parlor. Mrs. Wheat, of Baltimore, has got a divorce, and her bin brother thrashed Wheat into the bargain. Pittsburg Dispatch. Wonder if he was corned up when he did it? Lima Times, No, he was shocked. No more chaff, now. Party lines instead of public interests are now ocenpying the attention of the State Legislators. Thus it was, is, and ever shall be until the voters wake up. A patient public now wishes that Wat terson's note to Hill had gone to tbe Dead Let ter Office. If the crusade against tights keeps oa money will be tight in comic opera circles. Brown is fathering the cremation bill. Bodies will have to be done brown if it passes. Tennyson would not have been much of a sufferer if he had lost his "Sleep." Wielie Winkle. How to Be Hungry at Breakfast. Breakfast remarks the Hospital, is rather a failure as a meal with town men. That ought not to be; there is something wrong when a man is not vigorously hungry in the morning. Where is the fault? Is it in the late dinner? Not in the dinner, probably, so much as in what is drunk at dinner; in that and in tbe nervous strain of the times. It does not mat ter whether we dine in the middle of the day or in the evening, so long as we dine judicious ly. But the man who has bad much work to do, and particularly brain work, can not dine in the middle ot the day. It he docs, ho must make up his mind to lose at least an hour of his most valuable time, A ligbt luncheon at midday, with no stimulant stronger tban a cup of coffee or a bottle of ginger ale, is tbe suit able thing. But this must on no account be used as a substitute for dinner. He who lunches in this way at midday must dine in tbo evening, and dine well. The business man should dine at 6:30 or at latest 7:30. The lazy man may dine when ho likes. The man who has earned his dinner should hat e a jrood one not heavy, but nutritious; not too elaborate, but welt selected ami well cooked. Ho should drink, if possible, only one kind of nine, and that a ligbt one, sparkling and still. Spirits anil beer be should avoid. Dinner should bo the last meal of tbe day, except for tboe who can not sleep without a little food in their stomachs. These may take a cup of cocoa, with a little thin bread and butter, just at the moment of going to bed. If attention be paid to these suggestions very few people will fail to be hungry at breakfast The Monkey nnd the Cigar. DEATHS OP A DAY. Mrs. Mary E. Chapman. The funeral of Mrs. Mary E. Chapman, wife of James A. Bradley, will take place this afternoon from her lato residence In Bellevne. Mrs. Bradley was born February z, 185, near New Cumberland, Hancock county. W. Va., and was the daughter of the late G. W. Chapman, and a member of one of the oldest and most prominent families In the county, bhe was a cousin of the late W. C Ralston, formerly a banker or San Francisco -as also of A. J. Kalston. of the same Rlace. and a sister. Mrs. G. A. l'entlletou. of ochesjer. Pa., survives her. Mrs. Bradley wai a woman of strong character, brave, nrudent. pure, wise, tried by experience and sorrow, and whose Influence was always exercised for good. All this was especially Illustrated dnrlng the last year In the pitlent nobleness and calm courajre with which she bore her own snfferinzs. as also theerlef which came to ber. as to all her family. In the loss ot n loved son. Springer Bradley, called away bnt six months ago in the very flash of his youth and promise of his yonn? manhood. The pall-bearers will be Jndre Campbell and .Messr. Barker, Cope, Cole and D&won. Mrs. Margaretha Fenderich. Mrs. Marearetha Fenderich, who died last Wednesday, was born In l'lttsbnr?, having been the eldest daughter of the late 'Squire Voeptly's children. Five children survive her Henry, Charles and Siplsmnnd Fenderich and Mrs. Peter Younir and Mrs. Helena Kredel. She was the sister or NlchoWs Voejrtlv. Mrs. Jacob i- opp and Mrs. Ilenrv Ucrwlr. Many prandchlN dren and other near relatives monrn the loss of this noble lady. Mhe was prominently connected with several charitable Irstltuins, a life member of Ihe ilurnanu boclety anuJn apprecia tive helper In the hospitals. Her man v jritts were made In a quiet and modest manner. The funeral services will take plice this afternoon at her late family residence and the remains will be Interred on Troy Hill. Jonah Miles. Jonah Miles, a former Pittsburger, died Thursday night at Irwin, at the advanced age of S3 years. The decc isert was native or Wales, and came to this city when a yonnz boy with his A correspondent of tbe London Dally Tele- 1 father, who was well known anionic the old resl- Maryland Metaphor. Baltimore American. Tho monarchical old dames of Europe are cackling in an alarmed chorus, berating gay lirotber Jonathan at a great rate, and warning their pretty younz colonial daughters against tho awful evils of flirting in an annexation sort of way. But these aro degenerate days, and frisky maidens do not take as kindly to the restraints of tho maternal apron strings astliey once did, preferring to do their conjugation thinking for themselves. An American Pooh-Uah. Boston Traveller.! Governor David B. Hill, of New York, is get ting to be a regular "Pooh-Bah." Let's sec: Governor, United States Senator, acd substi tute for tbe Supreme Judicial Court of Connecticut AVMEMOIIY. How fair she was I 'Tls yean ago- Bnt I behold her yet She sat within the firelight's glow f The night that first we met. How fair she wasl Her very dress Was all of snowy fur. It was no wonder, I confess, I fell In love with her. How beautiful Mie seenud tointl Her voice I heir It still Flowed softertlian the melody Of any summer rill ; I saw ber eyes all-golden shine. As In the slow we sat. blio was ah, would she now were mine A perfect Persian catt Ttmslt JSar, graph relates tho following incident Some years ago I was bringing two monkeys home from the West Indies, which I had named "Jack" and "Jill." Jack was a brown monkey about the size of a fox terrier, while Jill was smaller, and of the sort known as "white faced." One day Jack was indulging his curi osity by diving into my pockets, and. among other things, fished out a cigar. He smelted it, and before I coald stop him bounded off to his cage with bis prize. Jill rnshed after him to see what be bad got, and he considerately al lowed her to smell and no more. Then he tore it up and began to chew It. and presently worked himself np into an ecstasy of delight, taking the half-chowed cigar from his mouth and swearing it over his face and body with maudlin satisfaction. Jill sat tho while at the other end of tbe cage regarding ber lord and master with wondering interesr. but afraid to disturb his rcveis. thouch sho onco or twice crept cautiously up to obtain a nearer view of the cauc of all this excitement, and to make a sly attempt to get hold of it. Jack's excite ment began to get too much for him, and ho rolled auout hit strawand twisted hiui-elf into all sort-, of contortions in uncontrollable de light, a.id at last fell down in a helpless state of intoxication. Thereupon Jill carefully cov ered him well over with siraw and mounted guard over him, energetically resisting any at tempt on in- part to seo how he fared. She re mained steadily at her post until he awoke and emerged from his covering, looking verv, very seedy, sick and sorrowful. Making an English Knight Tho ceremony of conferring the order of knighthood at the hands of the Queen is not imposing. It is not. in fact, a public ceremo nial, and only those are permitted to witness it who, by their official connection with the Queen's household, may attend her, says a writer in London Tid-Bits. The loyal subject upon whom such distinguished honor may bo conferred may not ovon invite his "best man." nor the members of bis personal circle of rela tives or friends to be present Arrayed In whatever uniform he may be en titled t ear. or whatever dres court etiqnctlo anil the tlmoot day nr-lto proper, if he he a civilian, tho subject presents himself before his sovereign and kneels at her royal feet Seated on the throne chair, the Queen lajs theshimiig blade of a sword across tbe shoulder of the kneeling but exalted beneficiary, and says, ulng tbe title which she Is about to give, "ArPe, Sir So-and-so." Plaiu Mr. Cheltenham Brown is thus, by a dents, about 40 years ago. Mr. Miles removed to Irwin 6tatlon to take charge of the coal works there. 'Ihedeccaseu istne ratneror Key. J. W. W. Miles. I. 1., Presiding Elder or the M. K. Church, and uncle of Hon. Miles S. Humphries and Albert b. Kilnards. of this city. He was a consistent member or the M. E. Church. Ills remains will be buried to-morrow from his late residence. Georgo Albert rsrXCIAI. TILXOKAM TO THI PISPATCH.J Latrobe, March 13. George Albert, well known throughout this part of the State, died last night at the age of S6 years. He came to Westmoreland county 6J years ago, and until a few months ago lived at Youugstown, where, in ctrly days, be was the "vlllagt smith" and the 'bqulre. His life wasamost evemplsrvone, and be was universally loved and respected. His. children who survive 1.1m are . Dillis. David K.. .Iaine H.. of Latrobe, and Mrs. (jeorge Jla gulrc, of Kcewanee, III. D. Itethune Dafflold. Detroit. March 13. D. Bethnne Dnf fiel J, one or the oldest members of the Detroit bar, died here last night aged 70 years. He was one orthe Yale class oriAl); had been associated for years In Iiw practice with Mr. I.othrop, ev-.Min-lsier to llussia, and was foremost In the organiza tion ortlic Dctrult school system. Un 111. mother's side he was a relative ot William E. Gladstone. Mr. Dnfllcld had been ror nearly 50 years a prac ticing lawyer In Detroit. George Simons. rrrciKU teleoi-am to tee ntsrATCir.i Youngstowjt, March 13. George blmons. a successrui merchant bere. died at I.ordstown tn-day after a brief illness. His mother died to-day from the shock of hearing or his death. ,2k? James Williams. :frXClAj. TELIOBAJI TO THK PISPATCn.1 LATROBE, March 13. James Williams, brother of Via Williams, the well-known attor ney of Greensburg, died very suddenly last night He was tick but au hour. Petor McDon.ilJ, M. P. X, Mirrh 13. Mr. Peter McDon- He Dur.t aid. member of the House of Commons ror North blUo. died uddenly to-da at Klnzstown. was a supporter uf Mr. t'arnell. CABLE LETTERS covering Europo com pletely make the Sunday Issue of THE DIS PATCH u welcome caller at all homes who have relatives abroad. A ton ot diamonds is worth 35,000,000. Never was whalebone so dear as it is now Jo SO a pound. A famous showman has succeeded in training geese to perform. The London Religious Tract Society last year issued 77,000,000 publications. Hyde Park, a large town recently in corporated with Chicago, has not a single saloon. The only bronze statues in the United States of Humboldt, Shakespeare and Colum bus aro at St Louis. A boy baby born in Atchison. Kan., a week or two ago has been christen oa "Hard Times" by bis parents. One million oranges were nsed in build ing the pavilion at tha California State Citrus Fair now in progress at Los Angeles. Near Atlanta, Ohio, the other day, a farmer had, a battle with a large grayeacla, measuring 7 feet 8 inches from tip to tip. After himself receiving considerable injury the farmer killed the bird, which 13 said to be a magnificent specimen. A genius in Berlin has invented an ap paratus by means of which daylight can be distributed into tho darkest rooms. The power of lighting any room by this apparatus Is said to ue unsurpassed, it retains mat power tor years, and requires no repairs or attendance while being in function all day. More than 10,000 medical students have graduated during tbe past two years in tha United States, and are now looking for business in that line. The number seems out of all pro portion, but a medical journal declares that 7,000 graduates per year can be turned out to make a fair living, as the population advances in the same ratio. A canvas-back duck flies at an babitnal rate of 80 miles nerhour, which is increased in emergency to 120. Tbe mallard has a flight of 43 miles an hour; the black duck, pin-tail, wiageon and wood duck cannot do much better. Tne blue-wing and green-wing teals can do 100 miles an hour anu take it easy. The red-head can fly all day at 80 miles an hour. The flight of the wild goose is 100 miles per hour. The Minnesota Legislative Committee on Expenditures has unearthed a peculiar fraud. It was fonnd that it bad cost the State 525,000 tbe last season for wolf bounties, S3 being allowed for each scalp. Inquiry de veloped the fact that regular wolf farms ex, istod in the northern counties of tbe State where wolves were raised in large numbers simply for the purpose of selling their scalps to tne state. The elevator in buildings is not so modern an invention as many suppose. In the royal palace at Luxembourg, near Vienna, in 1777, was a machine by which the Empress Queen Maria Theresa, who was too unwieldy to go np and downstairs, was conveyed through a well from onr story to another. The well or shaft extended from cellar to roof, and the ele vator had three strings, which, when pulled, served as signals for "go up," "down" or "stop." Macomb, 111., has a colt with a human bead. The little animal is a perfectly-formed horse, with tbe exception of its bead, which is as near like that of a man as it could be with out being human. The neck is rather long and slender; the cerebrum is round and about the size of a grown man; tbe ears are delicately formed, and in proportion to the sizs of the head; tbe mouth and nose, though in their proper place, are very much deformed, the two joining each other. A farmer near Lunenburg, Vt, ona morning found a sore place on tbe shoulder of one of his cows; as she stood at the further end of the stable ho thought she might have rnbbed it, and changed her place, but tbe next morn ing it was much larger, and another cow also had a raw place on her shoulder. The peculiar disappearance of the hide became a puzzle. After watching he found that rats were actually eating the hide off his cows. Quite large patches had been denuded. Over 100 tools and processes, which are marvels ot Ingenuity and scientific knowledge, have been invented by safe burglars. A recent burglar's outfit, captured by tbe police, con sisted of a little giant knob-breaker, a diamond drill and a high explosive of the nature of dynamite, but put up in tbe form of a powuer. It would open tne strongest bank safe in a half hour, and without noise enough to disturb people in the next bonse. while the entire outfit could be carried in the pockets of an ordinary coat The criminal courts in Glatz have con demned a Breslaa shoemaker to two months' imprisonment for "insult of majesty," because be retained his seat at a pnblic meeting while three cheers were given for the Emperor. The Jndge who gave tbe sentence explained that the shoemaker might have escaped with a lighter penalty baa he not aggxavated his original offense by "placing bis thumb to his nose and wiggling his four fingers" when re proached with disloyalty by hu Irionds in the meeting. Black wool is worth from 5 to 10 cents per pound less than the corresponding grade ot white wooL A sheep raiser, in order to insure tbe separation of the inferior product Placed his black sheep in a pen by themselves. There were 63 of these dark-colored animals when he left them one nizbt, but on returning tbe next morning, be fonnd three of them killed by a wolf that bad manazed to gain entrance to the nen. while tbe remaining 60 had turned per fectly white from terror. The gam In value of the wool on the 60 more than repaid the loss ot the three. A yonng workingman in Dubuque, la., bought a colored shirt In tearing oil the tag be discovered a note therein requesting tbe purchaser to correspond with tbe maker of tbe shirt In a New Jersey manufacturing town. She said she was working for starvation wages and hoped to find a home and a husband, when she conld be bappy. He wrote to her. was pleased with her replies, went to New Jersey and married her. Three weeks after they were united tor life, she received a letter from England, the borne of ber ancestors, contain ing a draft for 1.000, and notification of tha fact that she was sole heir to a fortune of over 150,000. The life of a submarine telegraph cable is from 10 to 12 years. If a cable breaks in deep water after it is ten years old it cannot be lifted for repairs, as it will break of its own weight On this account cable companies are prepared to put aside a large reserve fund in order that they may be prepared to replace their cables every ten years. Tbe action of the sea is tbe great enemy of tbe submarine cable; It eats the iron away so completely as to tnrn the outside coating to dust or sediment while the core is still intact The breakage of an ocean cable Is a very costly accident owing to tiiB iiifficnlties to be encountered in repairlneit It of te-i becomes necessary in case of a break to charter a ship at S50Q per day for several days in succession trying to fix upon the loca tion where the cable has parted. One breakage in the Direct Cable Company's line a few years ago cost that syndicate SI25.000. FOK THE FOS OF THE TTIIN'G. Gentleman There is some mistake in thii gas bill. Gas Collector-Mo, sir; tbe bill is all right. It Is according to the meter. Gentleman It's very strange; I certainly burned more gas than that last month. Gas Collector Wh-what's that lr? Gentleman (emphatically) I say I certainly burned more gas than that last month. Gas Collector (turning pale and edxlnc toward the door) Very well. sir. very well. Don't get excited, sir; keep quiet calm yourself. Every thing will he made all right. I assure yon. sir. The collector then bounced down tbe stairs and cimutetl for hdD. Four policemen responded. and moving cautiously up the stairs they secured the maniac and got him safelytoa lunatic asylum. Hut little hopes are entertained or his recovery Chicago Xexos. "To-day's para's wooden wedding," said little Willis." "Did he celebrate?" "Yes on sc, with a shingle. It wasn't very much run."--VK lork herald. Blankins had been out very late the night previous, and there wasn't much needed to con firm his wire's suspicions after she found two poker chips on the floor near where he had thrown his overcoat on a chair, bbe was looking over her housekceDlng account and was having trouble with the arithmetic. There are three tens in 33, aren't there, Jobs?" she Inquired. W hat U H?" he queried sleepily. Thirty in three tens." Three tens?" Yes: 1 said three tens." All right" he answered with drowsy placid ncss. 'Three tens Is good." And the gentle snore sealed Ms ielf-coavlctlon. Washington Post. An open-faced watch the yawning police man. Drakes Magazine, The livery of heaven uniform goodness. -Pact. cltid's SCORE. Whom Cupid hits with feathered dart He quick repavs with kisses. And, clever marksman though he Is, Gue-half his shots are Misses. ' -? ' ' ''