THE PITTSBURG- DISPATCH, SUNDAY, MARCH 8, 1891.
oljB$paftfj.
ESTABLISHED FEBRUARY 8, 1816.
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PITTSBURG. SUNDAY. MAR. S, 1S01.
HOW TO GET UNIFORMITY.
A bill has passed tbe lower branch of tbe
Legislature to create a commission lor tbe
promotion of unilorniitv in State legislation.
Itcires irnTroposed commission lh- widest
scope of investigation, anil contemplates that
5t sball set in harmony with similar provi
sions pending in the New York and Massa
chusetts Legislatures. The matter is well
vAirth investigation, to show the need of
uniformity in certain matters of legislation
now hopelessly confused bv the diversity of
State enactments. But when that need is
made plain, it will he worth while for the
legislators as well as public to recognize
tbat the quickest and tbe only way to secure
the needed uniformity is that suggested by
the organization of our national Govern
ment First as pointing to that conclusion is the
fact that the ta'k of getting all the State
Legislatures in the Union to pass a uniform
law on any given subject is a hopeless one.
Suppose that Massachusetts, New York and
Pennsylvania should agree upon a uui'orm
divorce law, would not Rhode Island and
Delaware continue to hold out inducements
to those deirous of escaping the marital
yoke? If the same States should agree
upon a uniform marriage law would New
Jersey, as was done only the other day,
cling to the profits 'roni fugacious mar
riages? With 42 different State Legislatures
comprising 84 different bodies, it is nonsense
to talk of getting tbe same bill on any of
the subjects where uniiormity is needed
passed by all.
The proper course is further indicated by
the theory of our Government that tbe sub
jects of legislation, which it is necessary to
liave uniform for the whole country, shall
belong to tbe National Government, while
those that are merely local in their effect,
on which uniformity is not necessary, shall
belong to ihe State Governments. At the
formation of the Government certain sub
jects were ranked as local, which have since,
by the facilitation of inter-communication,
"become national in scope. It was cot
deemed possible then that the divorce laws
of one State could interfere with those of
the other; nor could the ramifications of
business interests over the whole country
liave been conceiveJ which now make the
laws for the collection of debts and the set
tlement of bankruptcies in Minnesota a
matter of concern to people in Massachu
setts, liut the theory wa', very clearly,that
the division of powers should assign those
subjects on which uni.ormity is necessary to
the National Government, leaving to the
States those on which there is no such neces
sity. This makes the proper course plain
enough. Let it be decided on what subjects
uniformity is needed, whether marriage,
divorce, business or corporate legislation.
"When that conclusion is reached, agitate for
an amendment to the Constitution of the
United States, putting the power to legislate
in the hands of Congress.
A BAD SORT or PROMINENCE.
.The murderous affray at Wheeling yester
day, in which one "prominent" citizen shot
and killed another "prominent" citizen,
comes in time to reinforce the lesson of the
recent savagerv at Columbus, O. Bad tem
per, bad manneis and a malignant disposi
tion all of which the better civilization of
tbe community should have repressed long
before the explosion cam- were the moving
causes of the trouble at both places. There
is always tbe mitigating though! that those
who suffer in such breaches of the peace are
of a class whose numerousness may be abated
without much loss or grief to the world at
large. Still it is anything but flattering to
the country, or even to the century, that
these disgracelul deeds of violence take
place. In the cities of the Hast, and in tbe
older communities of Europe, such perform
ances are seldom if ever heard of. The
"prominence" which is won by a quarrel
some disposition is of a very low order, and
communities iurcisb indication of their own
need lor improvement in tone if they are not
able to keep it so tar in check that it does
not reach the stage of killing on the streets.
HOME HEATHENISM.
This is generally supposed to be a Christ
ian country. Its church organizations are
rich and powerful, and its mission funds are
numerous. It i, also, a countrv which
proudly boasts of universal education, and
tchool houses are provided lor by taxation in
every ward and district. Yet the other day
a very striking proof was presented that the
edncational and christianizing influences of
the land do not penetrate throughout all
ranks of society.
A girl was put in the witness box at a
trial in Camden, New Jersey, the other dav
and upon the test of her reliability as a wit
ness it was discovered that she was ten yean
old, could not read, had never seen a Bible
and had never been inside a church. It is
pleasant to believe that such a case is an ex
ception. The fact that it creates astonish
ment and surprise is creditable to our civili
zation, but it will not do to rely too blindly
on the belief that it is so exceptional that it
need cot give thoughtful people any concern.
The fact is that this little example of do
mestic heathenism represents a class, and
there is reason to think that It is not a
diminishing class in our large cities. It
may escape observation becaase of its ob
scurity. The courts do cot often summon
witnesses lrom it, so that such an official
demonstration of its ignorance like the case
cited is very rare. But if investigation
were made, the same sort of darkness could
be reduplicated with many examples in al
most every city in our land. It is probable
that within the very shadow of our churches
and schoolhouscs children can be found who
cannot read, and know nothing of the inside
of either churches or schoolhouscs.
Of course such a condition of things falls
short of the standard which society has set
for itself. If the means for spreading educa
tion and morality do not reach the classes
that are most in need of them, they fail in
their most important duty.
A THREADBARE PRETENSE.
Commenting on a remark that there have
never been "so many combines and trusts as
now," the New York Sun makes the follow
ing assertion:
Yet they have only just begun to be born.
Running an. entire department of production
or manufacture upon tho plan of harmonious
co-operation governing a trust, leads to a de
gree of economy hardly ever hoped for In old
fashioned business; and so far as experience
shons. In the long run the consumer gets his
share of advantage. The world of combination
is still in a state of mere chaos.
This is one of the stock arguments in
favor of the trusts. It has been repeated
till it is threadbare. And yet every thor
ough investigation of the methods of the
trusts shows that it is entirely without foun
dation in reason and in fact, and is simply a
plea in favor of the trusts manufactured
originally by these organizations to suit the
occasion.
The argument is without foundation in rea
son because the trust or other corporation is
not only unsuited to serve the purposes of
business efficiency or economy, and is wholly
unnecessary for those purposes, but it takes
away the inducements for the exercise of
those qualities and substitutes methods
which make economy impossible. There is
nothing in the mere organization which in
duces a number of independent concerns to
surrender their autonomy to a pool or trust,
since the corporation laws permit any de
gree of organization and co-operation in a
single independen . corporation that is neces
sary U produce the highest results. The
greatest inducement to efficiency and econ
omy is the knowledge that tbeconcern which
realizes those qualities most thoroughly will
win the highest success, while the one which
makes no effort for them will be wiped out
of existence. A competitive system creates
that inducement in the highest form. If
the trusts or combines are successful they
wipe out that inducement, and substitute a
system of restriction and monopoly which
makes economic production impossible.
These fundamental principles show their
operations in the history of every big trust
and combination that has ever approximated
success. The most convincing demonstra
tion of the falsity of this profession of econ
omy is found in the fact that if a trust does
not control practically the whole of any
industry, itjis a failure. If there was any
approach to the economy claimed the trust
that combines a mere tenth or fifth of the
production would by its superior economy
wipe out tbe competitors. But the fact that
there is no such economy sends the trust
which cannot control nice-tenths of any
industry into immediate dissolution.
Another telling commentary on this pro
fession of economic production and improved
methods by reason of large capital, is fur
nished by the fact that the trusts and com
bines never bring any capital into the busi
ness. They simply unite the old capital
in the shape of existing works, and run
them by the old methods, so far as technical
operation is concerned. The Sugar Trust,
when it had combined practically all the
existing refineries, did not put in any new
capital or new appliances; for it had no
need to. But when Claus Spreckels built a
refinery to run against the trust he adopted
the newest appliances and most approved
methods in order to compete on the most
advantageous terms. Competition is the
force which requires improved methods and
its absence invariably leaves matters at a
standstill.
When the combination is organized in a
trust or pool its methods are invariably un
economic It is cot economy to burden an
industry with a fictitious capital two to four
times its bona fide value; yet that is what
every trust has done. It is cot economic
production toarbitrarilycondemn the capital
and labor, engaged in any industry to en
force idleness, for one-quarter to one-half
tbe working time, which is a favorite
method of al! these combinations. It is cot
economy to buy pipe lines and tear them up,
or to lease refineries to make them stand
idle; nor can we see any remarkable degree
of intelligent co-operation in paying trustees
immense salaries to appear before investi
gating committees and testify to the igno
lance of fundamental matters in connection
with their own business; which Is among
the signal performances of both the Standard
Oil and Sugar Trustees. Nor is there a very
gratifying economy in the policy of trustees
taking the earnings of the combine and
losing it in stock speculation an achieve
ment of the Cotton Oil Trustees, which the
trust's lawyers found to be entirely per
missible under the trust organization.
Co-operation to secure greater business
economy is a good thing; and there was no
restraint on it under what the Sun calls
"old-fashioned business." But the allega
tion that the trusts or combines to prevent
competition secure such economy is a shal
low pretense. They are organized to permit
the perpetration of uneconomic methods, to
the end that tbeir managers can secure ex
cessive profits by the suppression of compe
tition. LAZINESS VERSUS OPPORTUNITY.
Boston's claim to the proud title, "Ath
ens of America," is in serious dancer.
Brooklyn, hitherto known to the world as
an overgrown suburb of New York, comes
to the front with a society for the develop
ment ol genius. Many and prominent are
the names giving out as belonging to the
new society; but the peculiar thing that
strikes one on reading an account of the
first meeting is tbe fact that three-fourths of
these names are prefixed with either Miss or
Mrs. This peculiarity may not have any
deleterious influence ou the fortunes of the
new organization. In fact it may be the
very reason of success. Men have never
given much time to a systematic develop
ment of latent genius, each individual look
ing out for himself alone, and caring little
for the misfortunes of talented but unso
phisticated brothers.
The new society, which is called the
Cheiron, after the immortal who trained
and taught the sons of heroes, will go to
work on the assumption that the best novels
are unpnblishcd, the best dramas unac
cepted, the best poems rejected, the best
voices untrained, and the best pictures un
hung. Claiming that the principal cause of
this waste of genius is lack of opportunity,
it will endeavor to secure for these writers,
siugers and painters a proper recognition of
their works and possessions.
The intention is a laudable one, provided
the work be not carried to extremes. This
can easily be done by persuading ambitious
persons that they are tbe possessors oi
genius of a high order when the contrary is
the case. Great genius, as a general thing,
needs no one to give it a ready-made oppor
tunity. At the proper time it makes its
own opportunity, and owes thanks to
nobody. There have been people
of genius who were not success
ful in life, and there will likely
be others. Whether these others can be
placed on the highway to fame and wealth
by organized effort on the part of friends is,
however, very doubtful. A person's inherent
energy is what he must depend upon in the
world's strife, and if he lacks that energy,
he will fail, no matter who may back him
or give him aid. The philanthropist who
gives moral and monetary aid to others has
many cases of failure to contemplate. The
fault is not his; it is not to be blamed on the
genius or talents of the person aided; but it
does lie with the aided one's inability to
make the proper use of the opportunity
offered him. This inability comes from
lack of energy laziness, if you will.
If the newly founded society can supply
energy as well as opportunity, everything
may be lovely. A perfect host of great
novelists, poets, singers and painters may
perform their labors of love for the benefit
of the world. But if the Brooklynites con--fine
themselves exclusively to the furnishing
of opportunity, the chances are that their
organization will become ere long nothing
more than a mere mutual admiration society.
END OF THE BANK WRECKERS' TRIAL.
The sudden ending yesterday of the case
against the wreckers of the Bank of Amer
ica and the American Insurance Company
seems to have been in the nature of a sur
prise to the Philadelphians. The sur
prise was a pleasant one, however,
and the public can have the satis
faction of knowing that three dishonest
manipnlators of other people's money
will get their just dues. The trial though
short from the first was prolific of sensa
tions, everybody expecting a stubborn de
fense which failed to materialize. The array
of evidence offered by the prosecution was
evidently entirely unexpected by the de
fense and when it was presented, the pris
oners' lawyers quickly came to the conclu
sion that a determined fight would only
serve to work harm to their clients.
That this would have been the case is ap
parent from the mildness of the sentences
imposed upon the prisoners. In Pennsyl
vania dishonest bank officials have gone to
prison lor longer periods and yet were not
near the equal of Messrs. Work.Dungan and
PfeifFer in rascality. We are not finding
fault because th-- sentences imposed are cot
more severe, but merely wish to point out
one evidently anticipated result of Pfeiffer's
confession. The subsequent actions of his
partners in crime were also taken with the
same end in view.
DEMOCRATIC CENTRALIZATION.
Political disputation sometimes leads to
strange results. The esteemed but impetu
ous New York World has been betrayed by
the warmth of an argument over the Hill
Bulkeley dispute into asserting that "there
is no such thing known to our law as Gov
ernor de facto," and thence proceeding to
the conclusion: "It Bulkeley is a Governor
di facto, be can be put down by the United
States, on Morris' request, as an insurrec
tionist." This is a startling departure from the
Democratic standards of the past. To il
lustrate its radical subversion of old Demo
cratic theories, it would be well to apply it
to the case of numerous Democratic State
governments in the South established by
methods about whose legality there was a
decided question. But they were recog
nized as de facto, and cow we are told by an
organ of Democratic opinion that it was in
the power of the United States to suppress
them.
If tbe United States had undertaken to
exercise that power what an outcry there
would have been. To respond to such an
application from the side opposed to the de
facto Government, tbe United States must
investigate and determine which is the legal
government. Thus It is the inevitable se
quence of the irbrfrt's theory of Federal
powers, that the United States Government
must settle disputed State elections first by
its verdict and next by force of arms!
But what a theory of centralization this
sets upl Eeed's loftiest conceptions, Dud
ley's most daring flights of imagination,
never reached such a height; and the Fed
eral election bill would turn pale with
envy at the thought of the United States
Government pulling down de facto Gov
ernors and setting claimants in their stead.
To the advocacy of this unparalleled degree
of centralized power, hath political contro
versy brought that sometime independent
but now straight-out Hill Democratic jour
nal, the HorW.
It is to be noticed that Philadelphia
Councils have passed a measure for beautifying
the streets by reserving space between.the side
walks and roadway for grass and shade tress.
Pittsburg seems to bo the one city that Sticks
to the antediluvian practice of improving
streets without providing further embellish
ment. A SAD and malign fate attends the efforts
of the Philadelphia Congressmen toward states
manship. For several months tho Times has
been attacking them on the lofty ground that
they did not get euougb of tbe divide from tho
appropriations for the benefit of Philadelphia.
It.hcaded its article with the standing query:
"What Have They Done?" The other day an
incautious organ of tho Republican Congress
men exultantly declared that it wou! bo seen
what they had done when tho new mint bill
was received. But now it comes out that while
they got the mint authorized they forgot to get
an appropriation for it. The renewal of the in
quiry, "What have they done?" shows the rocky
road of statesmanship in search of appropria
tions. This time a Bulgarian .doctor has dis
covered another sure cure for tuberculosis in all
its forms. This ought to make consnmptive ap
plicants prime favorites with the life insurance
companies.
One or the uses which tbe Spartans made
of the Helots was to set them off on a grand
drunk at regular Intervals, in order that the
youth of Sparta might havoa practical and con
vincing illustration as to the egregious species
of fools which men can make of themselves
nbdorsuch inspiration. Perhaps, if tbe politi
cal organs of our own country would study the
outbursts of tbe Government organs of Can
ada 'in connection with tbe late election.
I using them in the same manner, as an example I
and a warning, the Canadian organs may risa
to the same level of public usefulness as the
Helots.
The check-raiser who watered the checks
he got by multiplying their amounts one hun
dred, made a mistake in his field of operations.
Such things are only allowance In stock manipu
lations. TnE charges against Judge Boardman, of
the Louisiana District Court, are that he de
posited in his own pocket litigated fnnds paid
into court; that he borrowed of the United
States Marshal Government money in that
official's hands, and that be decided against the
Government In favor of a litigant who had ex
tended similar accommodations to His Honor.
No wonder some people thought that Congress
ought to be able to give a little time to his impeachment.
The frigid opening of March encouraged
the coal combinations to fix the price of coal
once more; but the subsequent softness bids
fair to fix the coal combines.
"While Senator Ingalls' fortunes are
generally the subject of sympathy, there is one
indication that he will not let his family surfer.
Among his latest official acts was the displacing
of the regular clerk of the Senate Committee
in the District of Columbia, and the appoint
ment to that place of his sod, a young law
student. The younger Ingalls will thus draw a
salary of 8120 per month till next December,
tho work having all been done Dy the displaced
clerk.
The President is going a gunning; but
it is rather late in tho session. He shonld.hare
started out some months ago, gunning for the
surplus smashers.
Ose of the favorite forms of consolation
stakes for recently turned-down statesmen at
the close of the sessions was for their fellow
members to get together and unite in testi
monials to tho effect that a career of great
statesmanship has been cut short or gone into
a condition of suspended animation. This was
done lor nearly all of them except Ingalls: and
poor Ingalls has been indulging in the perni
cious and expensivo luxury of freo speech.
Well, the "exs" have one consolation.
The surplus and they went out together.
It is interesting to find it a matter of
standing Wall street information that the New
York Central is going to bnild a parallel line to
tho Rome. Watertown and, Ogdensburg road.
This raises the question what has become of
that law passed by the edict of tbe corporations
and bankers, against building parallel lines.
Is paralleling railroads a crime when done by
outsiders and a virtue when practiced by tho
truck lines?
PITHY PERSONALITIES.
Prince Henry, the German Emperor's
brother, is an expert acrobat.
Dr. Jennie M. Lozier has been unani
mously elected President of tho Sorosis So
ciety. Eev. Dr. McVicar, who officiated at the
Astor-Willing wedding, is said to have received
a J10.000 fee. He is also said to have received
considerably less.
Senator Edmunds is very fond of
horticulture, and finds pleasant summer recrea
tion in working among the fruit trees at his
home in Burlington, Vt.
Queen Marguerite, ol Italy, owing
to the great distress now existing in Rome, has
ordered that COOsoup tickets bo daily distributed
to the poor in her name.
Marquis Kudini, Italy's new Premier,
was Mayor of Palermo at tho time when Presi
dent Lincoln was assassinated, and had one of
tbe streets of the city named after the great
martyr.
Mr. Blaine is out for b "constitutional"
every fine afternoon. His favorite walk is one
ot the many roadways intersecting tbe reserva
tion back of tho Whito House, and frecuently
t is extended around the monument.
Count Herbert Bismarck has invited
Klgnor Crispl, Italy's ex-Premier, to visit bis
father at Friedrlcbsruhe. Crispl has promised
to go to Germany as soon as he has got his own
affairs in order, and then the two old statesmen
will have a good talk over past times.
General Joseph E. Johnston, the
devoted frieud of General Sherman ever since
he surrendered to him during tho war. and one
of the pall-bearers at the funeral, is a striking
figure at Washington, where be holds a Gov
ernment position. Although over 80 years old,
he is alert aud erect, and, like bis depaited
friend, he is a welcome guest in social circles.
General Jean Louis de Nicolai,
who died last month at the Grand Chartreuse,
France, was a remarkable character. Twenty
years ago Baron Nicolai was Governor of tho
Caucasus. After tho capitulation of Shamyl
he went to the South of France to recover from
his wounds. Ho there made the acquaintance of
Monsignor Dupanloup, entered the Carthusian
novitiate and became a monk. Now tbe great
Russian commander and ex-aid-de-camp of
Czar Alexander II. lies in tbe traLquil sanctu
ary which, like the knights of old, he choso in
he midst of a turbulent and brilliant career.
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.
Richard Mansfield, in response to a general
demand, last evening assumed tho title role in
VDr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde." Tho Grand Opera
House was crowded with an audience eager to
be harrowed, and from the amount of applause
it is safe to say they were satisfied and gloom
ily happy.
Bar Is He Satisfied?
Ohio State Journal. 1
Hon. D. H. Hill is now Governor of New
York at S10.060 a year, and draws a salary as
Senator of tbe United States at $5,000 a year.
In point of salary ho appears to be doing like
the late Mr. Reilly "quite well."
DEATHS OP A DAY.
Old Chips, Indian Centenarian.
Souin Bend, Ind., March 7. "Old
Chips, " a Chippewa Indian who was captured
when young bv the Wlnnebagos. at his home near
the Canadian border, and who was afterward held
as a slave by the dlnerent tribes, died ou Thurs
day, near this place, at the age of 105 year6. since
ISSOhehad been aslc to the chief ora tribe of
Indians near this city. He had aged rapidly In
recent ycars,loslnfr his mind and sight. He coula
move only br crawling on h-inda and leet. and his
lrame resembled that of a mummy. A few Indians
In this vicinity attended his luneral.
Thomas D. Hnssey.
Clarksburg, March 7. Thomas D.
Hussey, a prominent Insurance man, died here
this morning of consumption. He was agent for
the New York Lire, North American and a num
ber or other large companies, and did about the
largest Insurance business m the state. Mr. lius
sey was about 4'J years of ae, and unmarried.
Gustavus A. Rollins.
NEW YORK, March 7.. Gustavus A. Rol
lins, the oldest member of the Stock Exchange.
died in Yonkerslasl night. He was admitted to
memb. rshlp in the Exchange on January 22, 133...
IIe was at the time of his death a member or the
firmorUoiIlnsAiOo. 'Ihu nrm was organized in
1367. The other member was E. A. Rollins.
Hon. Gilbert McMicken.
Winnipeg, Man., March 7. Hon. Gil
bert .McMicken died suddenly last night. He
played a prominent part In tho early history of
he country M years ago, being Commissioner of
the Dominion Police all through the Fenian
trouble.
Dr. M. H. Kerwlu.
Milwaukee, March 7. Dr. M. H. Ker-
win, the nrst physician in the Northwest to visit
Itcrllu to secure and administer the Koch ljmph.
died here suddenly to-day of peritonitis. He was
35 years of age.
Hon. Henry Rnby.
rSPECIO.1. TELEGRAM TO THE DISPATCrj.1
Carlisle, Pa., March 7. Hon. Henry
Kuby, ex-Associate Judge of Cumberland coun
ty, and for many years In the newspaper business,
die d yeterday at Cbambersburg, aged 87 years.
Prof. Franz Yon Mlklossich.
Vienna, March 7. Prof. Franz von Mlk
sossich, the well-known author and leader of
the Solavist party, died in this city to-day from
brain fever. He was 78 years of age.
Ex-Senator George M. Chllcott.
Denver, Col., March 7. Ex-Senator
George M. Chllcott, of Colorado, died la St. Louis
yesterday of Bright' disease.
MURRAY'S MUSINGS.
Giddy lien of Wealth Who Are Covering
Otero With Diamonds Police Super
vision of Wall Street Sleeping on an, L
Car Odds and Ends.
The masher at the stage door has been often
written about. There is one kind of masher,
however, in a similar connection who cannot be
adequately desctibed. Otero, the beautiful
dancer, who has become quite the rage and
divides popularity with Carmencita, is learning
all about this sort of individual. Unlike Car
mencita, Otero invites personal attention and
strong personal admiration from .i class of men
about town who cannot come within speaking
distance of the dark Spanish girl at the fash
ionable beer garden.
Otero is a strikingly beautiful woman of a
peculiar type. Her face, figure and action
form an interesting study. It Is especially in
teresting to those who have the facilities for a
closer observation. That they have improved
these facilities is apparent in the magnificent
array of costly diamonds that bespangle the
costumes of their favorite. The men of New
York who indulge in these rivalries with each
other In the race for feminine favor are not
niggardly ol tbeirfunds. Otero appears nightly
a lovely setting for at least $20,000 worth of
precious stones. When she came here she had
nothing. No, it will not do to say nothing, be
cause she had youth and beauty and a fiery
spirit fonnd only in sunny Spain. Behold the
glorions metamorphosis! With a radiance un
known even to the footlights of the metropolis,
she appears nightly above tbe gruesome vaults
of the chamber of horrors, scintillating in the
eyes of her adorers.
Rarely is such exquisite beauty given to
womanhood. With a face of a Madonna and
the spirit of a "Reeky Sharp." she enthralls the
pure and the Innocent lovor ot the beautiful
and the ignorantly gross and refinedly licen
tious alike. The best of society greets her in
tront the worst of society revel in her pres
ence at tho back. She plays them both for all
they are worth. New York is full of sinners
old and young, to whom money is no object
when it comes to self gratification. They find
in this whilom child of nature fair game. The
coterie of roues that flutter like moths about a
candle around this sudden favorite of fortune
excites no one's sympathy. If she plucks them
no one cares. Perhaps the poor girl may roal
izo that her era is necessarily short, and ber
campaign must be fought quickly aud sharply
to a conclusion. From the point of view of the
social scientist tbe marvel is that she can bold
herself so high under the pressure, and so long
retain her youthful loveliness and innocent ap
pearance. It wiil be a long time before an
other woman will occupy the anomalous posi
tion of Otero in the public eye.
An Odd Way to Got Sleop.
The other day a Jerseyman came over to visit
a friend in New York. The two chums dined
together and went out to the theater alter din
ner. A little lunch and other attractions
caused the Jerseyman to lose bis train. He
dared not wait until a later hour for fear of
the "blessing" he would receive at home. Be
sides, he was a triflo weary. It was about 3
o'clock in the morning before he decided to go
to bed. When ho bad made up his mind to do
this sensible trick it was found that the hotels
could offer him no better berth than a chair or
a shake down in a reading room. To pay the
usual 82 for such accommodation was against
the Jcrseyman's conception of frugality. His
friend was somewhat worried on account of
the situation, but the Jerseyman said :
"I'm going to take an elevated train to Har
lem." Tho friends parted, and met next day in lower
Broadway. In answer to friendly queries as to
how be passed the night, tho Jerseyman re
plied: "I boarded the train for Harlem and
slept like a log until tbe guard shook mo up at
use uunareu anu rutv-uitn street, i iook tne
other track and boarded the train for the Bat
tery. This gavo me 45 minutes sleep going
down. When I got there it was about daylight.
I took the next train back, and slept all the way
to One Hundred and Fifty-fifth stieet again,
and repeated the operatiou to the Rattery. I
thU9 got about three hours sleep, quite as much
in fact as I would have enjoyed badltakena
room at 2 at a hotel. My lodgings cost mo 23
cents. I had some work to do earlv in the day,
and it was necessary that I should be up early
anywav; so I got outside of a 'stiff cocktail and
after a smart walk along tbe Battery wall, ate a
very comfortable breakfast, went to my office,
did the work I had cut out forme, and here I
am." .aiu
What a Baby Is Good for.
One of the newest tricks is tho baby trick.
Now the baby trick is worked by a bevy of la
dies who desiro to secure scat9 in a car and do
not feel like trusting to the ordinary gallantry
of tbe opposite sex. It has been noticed by the
shrewd woman of the times that men in variably
give seats to women with children in arms,
whereas they only sometimes yield a resting
place to members of the weaker sex.
As tho result of this three or four women can
work a car quite successfully it they have but
one baby between them. Tbe woman with tbe
child, as soon as she has been accommodated
with a seat, passes the infant to one of the
standers, and as soon as sho is provided for
those who are left take the baby and the men
do the rest.
Enterprise of an Ice Company.
There Is no reasonable objection to an ice
company getting along, and they usually man
age to do it whether thero are any objections or
not. The other day I received from the North
western Ice Company, at Indianapolis, a bill
for $1 SO for ISO pounds of ice alleged to have
been delivered at my residence In that city one
month last summer. Whether it Is customary
or not for au ice company to send bills of this
kind promiscnonsly around tho country to any
body who mar happen to have the same or a
similar name as some delinquent customer, I
am unable to answer. Tbe fact tbat such Is the
inference opens up a vista of American enter
prise heretofore comparatively unknown.
In returning tho bill to tbo company I
casually mentioned the fact that I hadn't been
In Indianapolis for 1-1 years, and hadn't lived
there for about 25: but, at tbo samo time, I re
turned thanks for tho commercial credit this
little attention implied. What lias become of
tho rest of my Ice In Indianapolis? Was it de
livered along through the summer as this bill
seems to indicate? And if it has been deliv
ered regularly, who ordered this ice for me,
who consumed it, and who paid for it, omitting
this final settlement? Has the Ice melted on
my front doorstep? If it has melted, can I
compel tbo Northwestern Company to forward
my ice to Now York before settling tbo bill?
These be weighty questions. Come to think of
it. I don't want their Indianapolis ice anyhow.
In New York we kick like steers at 40 cents per
hundred, and think we are being robbed when
it runs up to 50 cents.
New Yorkers Don't Investigate Their Town.
The casual visitor to Now York will see more
of the great city in a fow hours or a few days
than the typical New Yorker sees during a life
time. It is only when your New Yorker is
showing his country cousin around, that he
really does the town. As for going sight-seeing
on bis own book it is something the resident
of the metropolis never does. It is a curious
fact that there arc large classes of people re
siding in particular sections of tbe city who
rarely or never go outside of their own baili
wick on any pretext whatever. The clannish
cess of 'our foreign population accounts for
this to a considerable degree, although it is not
confined to thoso who speak foreign languages.
Habit is tho real cause. This habit is so
strong that tbe man who lives in Harlem; that
ii, who does business there alsd, will not come
down in New York more than once or twice a
year, although it costs Duto cents and is but a
fow minutes' ride. There are residents of the
East Side who i.ave never been west of Broad
way. Tbero are thousands of families residing
in tbo attics on t'io wator fronts of New York
who have never been a dozen blocks from their
own neighborhood. On the other baud not one
lady or gentleman resident of tbe fashionable
West Side, or of Fifth or Jladlson avenues, out
nf a thousand, has ever been seen in those
localities wbero these other hermits-live. Your
typical man about town exhausts his imagina
tion when he has done the theaters or clubs
and wound up at a cafe, popular restaurant or
chophouse. You may find him and his kind in
their little narrow circle of places almost any
night during the week, or, in fact, during tho
year. His life is never more varied than that
of the dwellers of the attic or Chinese, Italian
and French New York. This ignorance of tho
city in which a man lives, and in which he was
born, strikes you very comically at hrst, but
when you come to think of It, it U set asido as
a matter of course.
Keeping an Eye on Wall Street.
Speaking ot tho familiarity of certain people
in the metropolis with certain localities, re
minds me of tho good turn this serves that re
markable body ot Inspector Byrnes' department
whose duty It is to guard tho wealth of Wall
street There aro stationed at intervals In the
vicinity of Wall street several ot the best de
tectives in the country. These men are accus
tomed to tbe faces of the legitimate residents
and habitues of tbe brokerage and banking
sections. They probably know the face, figure
and name of every bank cashior, teller, broker
and broker's customer who comes into tho
street. Just as soon as a new face makes its
appearance all one of these fellows bas to do Is
to decide whether tbat is a face of a crook or of
some new candidate for being crooked. In the
first place these detectives know the faces of
about every crook in the country whose
talents would naturally direct him to
Wall street. Bank burglars anu men ot
that stamp from which come expe: t counter
feiters are not born In a day, oui are the
nrndnrts of criminal experience and criminal
skill, and during the process of their advance-
ment their personality becomes familiar to tho
expert thief catchers In large cities. What
seems remarkable, therefore, to a layman is a
mere matter of course to a disciple and em
ploye of Inspector Byrnes.
It has been truthfully remarked that during
the decade iu which Inspector Byrnes has had
this espionage of Wall street not a single bank
burglary or robbery of any importance has been
committed In that vicinity. Up to that time a
very large amount of money had been obtained
by notorious crooks, and some of tbe most dar
inz operations had proved successful. It is
said that at least 87,000,000 in securities and
money bad been taken out of Wall street ap to
the period wbero Byrnes undertook to main
tain a systematic watch upon the street.
One day last summer I was standing in con
versation with a friend in front of Trinity
Church wheu a dapper little eentleman carry
ing a slender switch cane sauntered slowly by.
There were several people looking through the
railing In the Trinity Church yard as usual.
This curious crowd can be seen there any day
and at any hour during tbe day in the summer
months. "There was nothing apparently out of
tbe way therefor in tbe present instance. When
tbe slender gentleman passed, be took a good
look at one of these persons and suddenly
turned on his heel and took him gently by the
buttonhole. Tbe man seemed startled out of
his self-control for a minuto. and then again
recovered his mental equilibrium. It required
but a word or two to send him walking swiftly
up Broadway. Then my triend turned tome
and said. "Did you notice that? That's Byrnes'
defective and he has discovered tbe presence of
a crook in this forbidden neighborhood."
Charles T. Murray.
New York, March 7.
ALONG DE SOTO'S BOAD.
The Ronto Disclosed by Yarious Interesting;
Discoveries.
Birmingham, Ala., Aee-Herald.3
I have a letter from H. S. Halbcr, of Mis
sissippi, an admiraDle scholar and gentleman,
descriptive of the roadway which De Soto
opened and used in tho lowlands of tbe Tom
bigDee below Columbus, Miss. Trees stand in
tbe old road 300 years old. It has two track
ways parl!-i witu ono another for De Soto's
cannon can.age wheels. Indians traveled
single-file, making paths. Roads were made
only by white men using wagons that mado
parallel ruts or tracks. Such was the old road
In the native forests through which Mr. Hal
bert traced De Soto. In this same road at
Yorkville. in Pickens county, Ala., a cbestnut
tree was blown down on Sunday In 18-1?. at
"South Carolina" Baptist Church. Tho
tree was certainly 300 years old. Apothecary
scales were found beneath its roots on which
were inscribed the date. "1531," and names
"Ferdinand and Isabella." Five miles further
toward Tuskalooa a nest of Spanish horse
shoes was found unearthed on the farm of
William Richardson and in tbe same old high
way. These "finds" were all In tbe same
double-tracked road in which Mr. Halbert
noted the great old trees of 800 years ago. Wo
do not know that De Soto was at Tuskaloosa
(Carthage), v here there are S3 great mounds
within a sauare mile. Here was foughttbo
terrible battle of Cabusto, and this should be
tbe name of Carthage, as was intended by
those whites who named the place originally.
I havo the photograph of a stone on which are
engraved tho words.
"1IISPAN ET 1SD KEY," :
precisely as here copied, followed by the num
erals, 221 This stuue is triangular, 2 feet high
and 3 wide at the base. It was found on a little
island in the Warrior river, near Tuskaloosa,
and is held by an arcbasological society in Wor
cester, Mass. Rey, or Rex, King of Spain and
India, are commonplace words, but we have yet
to learn what those numerals siguify. Perhaps
they tell tbe distance De Soto had marched
from the Florida coast. A Spanish league Is
2 miles, and If we add the ocean's width to
the length of De Soto's march on land, the num
bers may aenote tbo distance, 5,bS0 miles, from
Madrid, with proximate accuracy. Ferdinand
and Isabella, In any event, were not forgotten
by the Spaniard who marked that stone.
A LADY'S GEATITUDS.
She Tells of a Trying Position and Gives
Thanks for Help.
"There aro some lovely men in the worId,even
if they are scarce."
It was a pretty girl who was thus philosoph
ically mingling optimism and pessimism in her
view of tho Ies3 assuming half of humanity,
says tho New York Herald. She proceeded to
illustrato her position as follows:
"The other day I had to go downtown by my
self. I am not so very used to going down
town, and there Is a preponderance of mascu
linity down there that always scares me a little.
This time I went on the elevated road and got
oil at Rector street. It was about 11 o'clock In
the morning, and the train and the station were
black with men. There was not a woman, a
sister woman, to be seen when the laco of my
petticoat caught In something just as I was
leaving tbe car. and with a loud, triumphant
z zig ripped off to the extent of, about two
yards. There was all this white stuff hanging,
and I had to get ri of it some way.
"I stepped to one side and be;an to tear
tbe lace across, but the lace was as strong as
the sewing had proved weak; not a thread ot it
would give Every one of the stream of men
passing turned bis bead to look at me struggle,
and I could feel my face crimson with exertion
and mortification. That kind of a situation
has a hasheesh effect, and though it seemed
like hours I suppose it was only a minute, till a
gentleman, busily talking to a companion,
passed close to me, and, hardly turning his
oi es my way, held out an open pocket knife;
then he walked on very slowly and apparently
absorbed in conversation. It was the work of
a second to sever that lace, roll it up in mv
muff and return him his knife. My gratitude
was too deep to express in what the plays call
the smooth, hollow phrases of society.' lam
not suro tbat I opened my lips, butl am sure I
looked tbincs unutterable.
"He took tbe knife with just the slightest
bow. and touching his bat returned to his mut
tons with his friend.
"It was a little thing, you may say, but it was
just tbe kind of little things that tests a man's
breeding cqxulsitely."
SOME FAMOUS HABPS.
Instruments That nave Been Toned
to
Songs of Lovo and War.
Harper's Bazar.
For years controversy was rife concerning
tho age of a celebrated harp now in Trinity
College, Dublin. Tbe resnlt of much specula
tion and correspondence places its date in the
fourteenth century, with a margin of a few
loose year3 before or after; all of which is quite
satisfactory to people in general. There is a
cast of this antique instrnment in the South
Kensington Museum.
Next on the list of honorable years given to
sweet and tender servica may bo seen, in tbe
highlands of Scotland.the Clarsach Lumanach,
also called Lamont's Clarsboe. This venerable
harp was included in the belongings of a lady
of the Lamont family, who took it from Ar
gyleshire about tbe middle of tbe fifteenth cen
tury, on her marriage into tho old Perthsbiro
family of Robertson of Lade.
This Lamont Clarshoo is described as having
30 strings, tuned singly, "but the scale was
sometimes doubled in pairs of unisons," like
lutes and other instruments popular at that
time.
The Dalwav harp In Ireland Inscribed "Ego
sum Regina "Cithararum." and dated 1BZ1, is
said to hive bad pairs of strings In the center
only. These were of brass wire, and were
Flayed with pointed finger nails. Tho
tallan cotomporary "arpa doppia" was en
tirely upon the duplex principle, but with gut
strirgs, and was played by the fleshy end3 of
the fingers.
THE BOYS WHO DO THE W0EK.
A Story Hlnstratlng the Enterprise of the
Modern Reporter.
An cx-city editor of a New York Paper says:
I believe the average reporter has got rnoro
natural pluck than anv other class of workers
in tbo world. When Father McGlynn was ex
communicated some ears ago. or course the
thine was to get Archbishop Cnrngan to talk.
and that was what ho would not do One day
I said to a reporter known in tho office as "Old
Sloutn." "Wliv don't you interview Archbishop
Cotrigan?" He mused a few minutes, and said
he would try. I knew he had a plan, but did
not ask him what it was, preferring not to ham
per him with suggestions. Thisis what he did
as ho informed mo afterward. The Archbishop
was hearing confessions at a certain day and
honr at the Cathedral. Waiting among thoso
who wished to confess and havo their sins ab
solved was the reporter. When bis turn came,
ho marched briskly to the confessional, where
the Archbishop's face was partly visible
throu"3 a small apertnrc. and said: "Arch
bishop. I am a reporter on the Daily Blank.
What have yon to say about tho MoGIynn ex
communication?" Tbe Archbishop drew back
and requested tbe reporter to withdraw, but tho
latter banded In his card and told tbe prelate
that only an interview conld induce him to
move. Two or three priests helped the re
porter to loave. Tbat reporter is wealthy now,
owing to a few daring speculations he made.
New York Salts the Cowboys.
Buck Taylor, tho King of the Cowboys, says:
For the present I rrefer to remain in the effete
East. The attractions are greater than iu the
Far West. 1 was not anxious to go and fight
the Indians, because I've seen enough of it.
In New York the races last nearly all the year,
and 1 had just as soon bet on a horse running
iu the mud as on tho hard ground. I have been
in Paris, Rome, Berlin, London and Madrid,
bntlsavcive me New York every time. It is
,a city with go to it, and things are whooped up
all the jear round.
HONOR FROM THE GAVEL.
Many Pennsylvanlans Havo Risen to High
Places From the Speaker's Chair Three
Became Governors- Any Number of
Congressmen Got Their Start There
Stormy Reigns.
IFROM A STATF COBBESPONPIST.l
Haerisburo, March 7. Speaker Thompson
gives every promise of being as popular a pre
siding officer as was bis handsome and courtly
predecessor, Harry Boyer, now custodian of
tbe State's eash. and, by no undue stretch of
probabilities, a formidable candidate for
tbe next Republican nomination for
Governor. Impartial but decided, courte
ous but firm, Mr. Thompson has won
tbe confidence and good will of both sides of
the House, and commands a respect and influ
ence which will stand bins In good stead when
the legislative ship enters the stormy waters of
debate which mark the closing weeks of tbe
session.
In tbe century which began in 179 with Will
iam Bingham first Speaker under the Constitu
tion in the cbair and ends in 1S91 with C. C.
Tbompson.63 gentlemen bave held the Speaker
ship. In looking over the list it is seen that
many of them have been men who afterward at
tained to still greater prominence in public af
fairs. Particularly was this true in the earlier
years of tbe State's history.
Made Governors and Congressmen.
Three of them, Simon Snyder, Speaker in
ISM and 1807, Joseph Ritner in 1S26 and William
F. Packer in 1(318 and 1SI9. were afterward elect
ed to tbe office cjf Governor. John Todd, Speak
er In 1812; John Gilmore, 1821: Joseph Lawrence,
1822; Joel B. Sutberland. 1S25; Governor Joseph
Ritner, 1826; Ner Middlesworth. 1828 and 1535;
Jdhn Laporte, 1832; James Findley. 1833; Sam
uel Anderson also in liS3, Findley having re
signed to become Secretary of the Common
wealth; James Thompson, 1S35: Lewis Dewart,
1837; Hendrick B. Wright. 1S-H; John Cessna,
1851 and 1863, and J. Law rence Getz, Speaker in
1857. were all afterward elected to Congress,
most of them serving from four tn eight years.
James Cooper. Speaker in 1817. served two
terms in Congress and was also United States
Senator from 1819 to 1835.
It is probable tbat ot those now living, John
S. McCalinont, of Vcnanjjo. is tho one whose
tterm of service dates farthest back, he having
been Speaker in 1850. He was afterward Judgo
in the Venango district, resigning when tho
war broke out to accept tbe Colonelcy of tbe
famous "Tenth Reserves." A Democrat until
1872. be then declared for Grant, with whom he
had been at West Pojnt. For some years his
political affiliations were somewhat bazy. bus
he got bai k to bis father's house in 1S84 in time
to receive from President Cleveland a slice of
the fitted calf in tho shape of the Commission
ership of Customs, succeeding Henry C. John
son, of Crawford county, who waa Speaker In
ISO), and who had held tLe Commission
ersbip plum sinceE-lSW. This office seems
to be regarded as a perquisite of Western
Pennsylvania, for on the next swing of tbe po
litical pendulum the genial Major Uolliday, of
Erie, dropped into McCalmont's seat and the
1,000 annual emoluments thereof.
A Long Political Career.
The veteran John Cessna, of Bedford, who in
1S51 as a Democrat and 18G3 as a Republican
wielded the ivory emblem of authority, comes
next in seniority. Few men in Pennsylvania
bave been longer in political life tban Mr.
Cessna. From lbC9 to 1S75 he served in Con
gress, and came nearly being his party's candi
date last fall, the nomination having been, given
to Mr. Scull but a few days before tho election.
In State conventions Mr. Cessna's white hair
and rubicund features have long been well
known, and be was always on hand to present
the resolutions which were to go through and
move to refer without debate those which were
not.
John S. Rhey, who represented Armstrong
county three terms, succeeded Mr. Cessna as
Speaker in 1S52. Io 1SS7. 35 years after he had
laid donn the gavel, he came back as a repre
sentative of Cambria county, and was returned
in 18b9. Bowed w 1th the weight of 73 years and
many infirmities, he is now being cared for in a
Roman Catholic institution, of which church
he has been a life-long member.
How Some Others Have Fared.
Wlljiam P. Schell, of Bedford, Speaker in
1853, came back to tbe House in 1877, and in tbo
same year was elected Auditor General bv the
Democratic party. He now resides in Phila
delphia. Elisha W. Davis was twice Speaker,
in lEdl while representing Venango county, and
in 1868 while serving from Philadelphia. He
also represented that city in tho Senate. Re
moving to Colorado, his "hail fellow, well
met" manners so won the hearts of the miners
of the Centennial State that be was elected tu
the Legislature and mado Speaker, some say
before he was legally a citizen of the new Com
monwealth. He was a perfect type of the "war
time" politician and legislator. His death oc
curred about three or four vears ago.
Arthur G. Olmstead. of Potter. Speaker in
1865, Is now Judce of tho McKean-Potter dis
trict. In 1871 he was the first Republican can
didate for Lieutenant Governor, but was de
feated by John Latta. of Westmoreland, in that
first "tidal wave" of disaster that overtook the
Republican party in the State and nation, and
from which it has never fully recovered.
Was Speaker of Both Houses.
Butler B. Strang, of Tioga, was Speaker In
1870, afterward served in the Senate, and was
tbe last Speaker of that body, the office being
abolished by the Constitution of 1874. and tbat
of President pro tem. substituted. In many re
spects be was one of the ablest men in tbe Leg
islature for years. He was subsequently ap
pointed to a territorial office in the West, and
died under painful circumstances.
Since 1873 Allegheny county bas bad four
Speakers, the first being W. II. McCormick, In
1871. He was afterward United States District
Attorney. A lawyer of brilliant attainments,
his death, a few vcars ago. was generally
lamonted. In 175, S. F. Patterson, of
Allegheny, served as .Speaker. Tbe
"tidal wave" spoken of before
gave the Democrats contiol of the House, and
Mr. Patterson, who had no previous legislative
experience, was placed in tbe chair. It proved
a seat full of thorns. The Republican minority,
led by the fiery Charles S. Wolfe, of Union, and
John L Mitchell, of Tioga, since United States
Senator, and now Judge, did much to mako Mr.
Patterson's life a burden.
He Got Speaker Reed's Dose.
Nor was his own party a unit In his support.
Tbe session wa3 marred by discords, and when
the usual complimentary resolutions came up
on adjournment the Speaker had an experience
like unto that of Mr. Reed, of Maine. The ir
repressible "parson" Plummer, of Crawford,
then a Democrat, since a Greenbacker, and
now a leading Republican light in the Dakota?,
opposed them bitterly, characterizing the luck
less Speaker as having "the vaulting ambition
of a Napoleon and tho intellect of a Blind
Tom."
Henry M. Long. Speaker in 1S79. was a most
efficient officer. He Is now a prominent busl
ness man of Pittsburg. James L. Graham,
Speaker in lSSoiandin this, as in tbe two pre
ceding sessions, the able Chairman of tbe Ways
and Means Committee, bas the honorable dfs
tlnction of being one of four men who in tbe
past 100 years bave presided over both branches
of tho Legislature. The others were William
Bingham, tbe first Speaker: John Todd. Speaker
of the House in 1812 and of tbe Senate in 1315,
and Butler B. Strang, already mentioned. .Mr.
Graham was Speaker nf the Senate In 1SC3, and
is the only one of the four who presided in tbe
higher body first, the others having gone from
tho House to the Senate.
Knows Charley Wolfe's Steel.
E. Reed Myer, Speaker in 1877, of Brad
ford, lives at his old home in Towanda.
B. L. Hewitt, of Blair, Speaker in 1881.
an ablo lawyer and good legislator, had a
term not altogether plea.sant. Charley
Wolfo was again In tbe House, and the en
counters between him and the Spoakcr wero
more noted for vigor than decorum. Mr.
Hewitt was a candidate for tbe Senatorial
nomination in 1688, but when "YourUncle John.
Lemon" is a candidate In Blair county some
one is bound to get left, and tbat year it was
Mr. Hewitt.
John E. Fauncc, of Philadelphia, who pre
sided over tho Houso with eminent fairness
iluring the regular and extra sessions of 1883,
and who was for years the leader of the Demo
cratic side, is practicing law in bis native city.
Mr. lioycris tho only Speaker ever elected
State Treasurer. What tbo future has in store
for him and bis cental successor. Speaker
Thompson, time will tell. It is enough to say
that both are gontiomon worthy the confidence
of tbe peoplo and the suffrages of their party.
Henry Hall.
Much Truth In This.
North American Kcvlew.l
A great deal of the Insanity of tho day is tbe
result of defective education, by which a smat
tering of knowledge in regard to many things
is acquired, while nothing Is thoroughly
learned. A feeling of gravity, therefore, bich
Is inherent in all mankind, is developed to an
inordinate degree, and every child is taught to
regard himself as somebody, when, iu fact, he
is nobody.
Two Terrible Stabs.
Cincinnati Enquirer.
Up to date no New York paper has started a
public subscription to help Jay Gould pay tbat
250 which he was fined for tailing' to cut in an
appearance when summoned to serve on a jury.
Tbe situation U serious.
CURIOUS CONDENSATIONS.
Camel raising is said to afford the King
of Italy much pleasure and profit.
A Chinese newspaper published in San .
Francisco baa been sued for libel by a negro
and an Indian.
Alabama now comes to the front with A
story about the death of a colored woman who
was 156 years old.
Perhaps the strangest case that has been
known in Racine in many a day is that of a
justice who forgot to tax his costs.
"Town" is the correct thing in New
York to write on tbe lower right hand corner
of the envelope now, instead of "city," foe
local letters.
A 14-year-old girl who was sworn as a
witness in a Camden, N. X. murder case said
she bad never seen a Bible before she entered
tbe courtroom.
A Philadelphia man-wanted to commit
suicide as painlessly as possible, so after much
thought he carefully shot himself in the lets
foot. He is still alive.
A Kentuckian who hadljarrlved at ma
jority offered his first vote the other day. but
so great was bis excitement that he fell in a
heap in a dead faint and could not sit up for an
hour.
A Missouri weekly paper recently in
dulged in some critical remarks about Shakes
peare, and a farmer named John Shakespeare,
thinking the family insulted, came to town and
gave the editor a thrashing.
A stern father in Keya Paha county,
Kan., with a large family of girls, has passed
the cold edict tbat each beau who frequents bi3
domicile through the winter must contribute a
load of sawed stove-nood.
The English school at Athens has ob
tained permission from tbe Greek ministry to
excavate tbe Temple of Demeter. situated in
the territory of Gortys. in the Peloponnese, aud
the ancient theater of Eretria, in Euboea.
A woman fell overboard in Jupiter
Inlet, Fla., and was eaten by a shark. For
three vears her husband has done nothing but
hunt Jupiter Inlet sharks, and up to date has
landed about 300 of them and is still fishing.
A Paris tobacconist, who had perhaps)
teen in America, advertised a certain cigar to
be "tbe best in the world for 5 cents." He was
arrested, failed to prove It "tbe best" and wag
fined $60 for "malicious intention to deceive."
A Russian press censor permitted tho
following item to appear in a Moscow paperi
"It Is our opinion tbat Russia needs new rail
roads and will have them." For this tbe censor
was suspended for three months and the editor
fined S300.
"If I am ever killed," said a Northern
Micbigander as be shouldered his gun tbo
other day, "it will probably be by a falling
tree. No gun has ever been made to kill me."
In climbing a fence ten rods further on he shot
himself through the heart.
A Concordia, Kan., preacher had a val
uable horse blanket stolen during the progress
of a series of revival meetings. In a lew days
tbe thief was converted by the preacher's
words, and the next day returned tbe stolen
blanket and confessed his sin.
An English naturalist who put in two
years at a boarding bouse, spent the next five;
in tracing; tbe Dedbug back to his native lair.
Ho fonnd perfectly autbentic Information to
prove tbat the insect existed and was full of
business in tbe year 120 B. C. He was even
found in the camps of the army, and no war
fleet was deemed fitted out without a liberal
sprinkling.
There has been a decrease during the
past year in the number of students attending
the German universities, especially in the de-
fartments of philosophy and natural science,
t is tbe first annual uecrease since 1872. Thera
are now 23.711 university students in Germany.
Berlin is easily first with the large total of
5.527, and Rostock is last with 371. Leipzig had
3,158, and Munich, 3,332.
Some doctors think they have too much
traveling to do to reach their patiens. Let such,
doctors read this: A Caribou, Me., physician
was called to a lumber camp above the Alle
gash to perforin a surgical operation upon a
lumberman. He started at IU a. m. and beyond
Grand Isle iound four teams stationed at dif
ferent points awaiting him. He arrived at his
destination at midnteht, having made the dis
tance of 102 miles in II hours.
Tbe heroes of the Civil War have disap
peared much sooner after its close tban did
those of tbe Revolution. It was half a century
after the Declaration of Independence befora
Adams aud Jefferson died, and tbe year before
their death tne White House had been vacated
by a President wbo bad joined the army in 1776.
It is but 30 years now since the firing on Fore
Sumter, and tbe great leaders ot that period in
both civil and military life are all gone.
Cocoanut butter is an established fact
in Europe, particularly in Germany and
Switzerland. It is rapidly superseding oleo
margarine among the poorer classes, and is
used to a large amount in hospitals and state
institutions. It is good for bjtn cooking and
eating purposes, though how it can be produced
cheaper than cow butter is a mystery, since the
nuts from which it is made must be brought
from Africa, South America and tbe South
Sea Islands. It is very healthful aud easily
digested.
A learned professor of the Paris Acade
mic des Sciences bas been making experiments
which bave resulted in convincing him tbat the
rabbit is of all living things tbe most capable of
withstanding a very low temperature. Inclosed
all eight in a block of ice, a rabbit was found,
next day getting on very comfortably, and evi
dently not aware of anything very peculiar in
his circumstances. In this regard -the rabbis
leaves far behind our faithful inend tbe dog,
though according to the learned professor,
sheep, goats and pigs take good second, third,
and fourth places.
A correspondent of a London paper
thinks that many medical men would be bene
fited by tbe adoption of a medical hat. He has
been saved many journeys in tbe country by
tbe fact that his hat differs from tbat of other
people, and he is recognized even on a dark
night, and often saved tbe trouble of retracing
his steps for several miles, the bat he bas
adopted is a hard felt, just tbe shape of an ord
inary straw hat, with low crown and flat brim.
Of course, tho hat is easily changed when on
pleasuro bent, and the cost is half that of a
silk one.
The Island of Juan Fernandez, once in
habited by Alexander Selkirk, Is now tenanted
by a former Anstriam officer, who. after being;
forced by the terrible wounds which he re
ceived at the battle of Sadowa in 1SC6 to leave)
the army, grew tired of the monotony of exist
ence iu civilized Europe, and determined to de
vote his fortune to a life of adventure. For IS
years past ho has been living on tbo Island of
Juan Fernandez with a small colony of natives
and of European deserters from civilization,
and only communicating with tbe world once a
year, when he sends bis sailing yacht to Valpar
aiso for provisions and supplies.
Everyone may cot know that the Bank
of England notes are made from new wbita
linen cuttings never from anything that has
been worn, bo carefully is the paper prepared
that even tbe number of dips into tbe pulp
made by each workman is registered on a dial
by macbinery, and the sheets are counted and
booked to each person through whose hands
they pass. Thev are made at Laverstroke, on
the river Whit, in Hampshire, by a family
named Portal, descending from a French
Huguenot refugee, and have been made by tha
'same family for more than 150 years. They aro
printed within the building, there being an
elabarate arrangement for making them so
that each note ot tho same denomination shall
differ in some particular from tbe other.
HELPS TO HILARITY.
An honored name Jay Gould's on a
check. II ashtn-jton Star.
"I always get reduced rates on the rail
roads lor my Indians," remarked the traveling
showman.
How do yon manage tint?"
I get them scalper's tickets." Puc.
Pompous Author (to veteran editor)
What would yon advise a man todo whose Ideas
are In advanie of the times?"
Veteran Editor (promptly)-I would advise him
to sit ouietlv down and wait for the times to catch,
up. Drake Magazine.
P.istor And what are you. going to be
when you grow up, Rurus?
Mr. Ticker ltuius has expressed adetermlna
tlon to Join the clergy.
Pastor Ah, you have chosen wisely, my boy.
It Is a noble calling to do good to the poor aad to
spread the gospel. That. 1 suppose. Is the reason
wiiy vou want to become a minister?
lliitus No. Hain't that; It's because papa says
It's a confounded good Business. SnitA and
(J ray's Weekly.
"Ughl" said the Indian, in diszust.
"What's the matter, Swallow-tall?" asked tbe
agent.
'Big Injun chase white man four mile. Want
scalp. Catch white roan. Ugbl while man
bald." Harper's tlaiar.
CONTAGION AND CURRENCY.
'Tis said that paper currency
Ihe risks of Ufe enhances:
Yet mortals always seem to be
Prepared to take their chances. ,
.Yw itTH IVntfltsnis
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