rrH 'Z ?i THE PITTSBURG- DISPATCH, MONDAY, PEBRUART 2, 1891. K - lVtitt ESTABLISHED FEBRUARY 8, 1816. Vol.45, Jo.S60.-Entered at FitUburg Fostoffice, November It. 13S7, as second-class matter. Business Office Corner Smithfleld and Diamond Streets. News Booms and Publishing House 75, 77 and 79 Diamond Street EASTERN ADVERTISING OFFICE. ROOM H, TKIBONE BUILDING. HEW YORK, where complete Cle6 ol THE DIsrATCH can always bo found. Foreign adTertlsers appreciate Ihe con venience. Home advertisers and friends or THE DISPATCH, while In ew York, are also made welcome. THE DISPATCH is reguTatly on sale at .Brentano'j, 5 Union Square. Jfew York, and 17 .Afe. de rOpea,J'arU, Fiance, where anyone icho as been disappointed at a hotel news stand can obtain it. TERMS OF THE DISPATCH. rOETACE FREE IN THE TOTTED STATES. DATXT DISPATCH. One Year J s 00 Daily Dispatch, Per Quarter - x Dailt Dispatch. OneMonth 70 Daily Dispatch Including Sunday, 1 year. 10 00 DAILY Dispatch, Including Sunday.Sm'tbs 250 Daily Dispatch. Including Sunday, Im'th 90 Sunday Dispatch. One Year 150 Weekly Dispatch, One Year 125 The Daily Dispatch It delivered y carriers at ;t cents per week, or inducing bunds; edition, at If cents per week. PITTSBURG. MONDAY, FEB. 2, 1891. CHICAGO AND THE FAIR EXPENSES. The statement from Chicago that the official estimate of the cost of the Colum bian Exposition is 515,000,000 has a smack about it of 3 raid on the United States Treasury. The intimation is rather too obvious that since the hole is so deep, the Government must help to pull Chicago out. Nevertheless, the case is not so serious as is intimated. The President's proclamation was not to be issued until $10,000,000 was pledged at Chicago; and therefore unless there has been some remarkable juggling, we may conclude that sum to be available. If the coming Exposition is to so far sur pass all previous efforts in that line, as to cost $15,000,000, it may be presumed that the receipts will make up the rest. The case does not present any good gronud for breaking the agreement on which that city obtained the Fair, namely, that it was to raise all the money required for the Fair, outside of the appropriation for the Gov ernment exhibit. If Chicago is unable to carry ont that agreement, as it was originally made, so much the worse for Chicaco, and, incident ally, for the rest of the country which put faith in the Chicago promises. A LITTLE AT A TIME. It is interesting to observe that Mr. Dingley, of Maine, has introduced a bill in Congress absolutely prohibiting the sale of intoxicating liquors in the District of Columbia. Apart from the doubt raised whether Mr. Dingley has any hope of get ting a bill passed which is introduced at this late day of the session, there is decided pertinence in the suggestion to him that he had better confine his reformatory zeal io smaller contracts at a time. The national reputation would be more directly served by establishing prohibition within the Capi tol building, if anything in that line is possible. Speaker Heed made a heroic effort in that line last session by shutting up the bar of t,Ke House restaurant; but it only . resulted in creating an active trade at the Senate restaurant until it was discovered that people who were willing to take their liquors in the Boston style could still be served on the House side. Numerous rules against cold tea have been established at various times at the Senate end oi the Capitol; but they have all fallen into des uetude. If Mr. Dingley can get a law passed stopping the trade in liquors at both ends of the Capitol at once, without a marked growth of speak-easies in the com mittee and cloak rooms, it will be enough glory for one session. ELIGIBLE TO BE KEPT OCT. "It is to be devoutly hoped that the move ment reported by the Albany correspondent of the Springfield SevubUcan to secure the appointment of Thomas C. Flatt as Secre tary of the Treasury will not meet with suc cess. This office was marked by Mr. Piatt as his own at the time of President Harri son's accession, and the fact that it went to Mr. "Windom instead is one of the matters to be set down to the credit of the President, The country has been trained by experience to endure the spectacle of the Treasury as a political machine; but it is not prepared to see it operated for that purpose so utterly to the exclusion of efficiency and care for the fiscal interests of the nation as Mr. Piatt would. Until the leopard can change his cpots, the New York political manager is to be set down as exactly the kind of man who is not wanted at the head of the Treasury Department THE FACLT OF THE APPORTIONMENT. The Congressional apportionment bill which was passed by the Senate last week, and is now in the President's hands, can be counted ascertain of obtaining his signature and is therefore the apportionment of repre sentatives and electors which will be in force for the next decade. Although the increase of 24 members gives but seven of them to what are generally ranked as Dem ocratic States, this is so nearly what is shown by the gain in population, as to be accepted without any particular dissent The natural suspicion of a partisan apportion ment produced some criticism when the bill was first reported; but full discussion has re sulted in its passage as a practically just measure. Cut while the apportionment on the basis of 356 members is acquitted of partisanship, it cannot be held free of another fault which is almost as grave, namely, the in crease of an already unwieldy member ship merely because no politician hasstamina to propose the reduction of any State's representation. Mr. Brosius recognized the force of the principle involved by a proposition that no future apportion ments shall increase that membership. So far as any practical results are con cerned, however, this proposition is closely akin to Hip Van Winkle's determination to swear off, but not to count the present in dulgence. If the same political influences prevail in 1900 we may expect to see the same increase of membership and the same intimation of a good resolution for the future. The fact that the present House is far too unwieldy for the intelligent transaction of legislative business is beyond dispute. Merely as a means of restricting its pro ductive capacity oi special legislation it would be well worth while to reduce the membership of the House to 250. 'When there were about that number of members in the House it was possible to do business with some approach to a clear understand ing of what was done. As the House has grown in size, its unirieldiness has increased in direct ratio, and its capacity has been in adverse ratio. During the past decade that body has been swamped by the exuberance, if not of its verbosity, at least of its fecun dity in legislative jobs. This evil will be increased during the next decade by the addition to the size of the House. Perhaps they will be so mani fest as to force a reform in the next appor tionment Bnt it seems as if the experience of the last decade should have been enough to make the lesson manifest to any one who was susceptible to instruction. VAST rNTERNAL COMMERCE. In Secretary "Windom's last speech, he surprised the New York merchants and bankers who were present at that fatal ban quet by pointing out the fact that the com merce which passes through the Sault Ste. Marie Canal exceeded by 2,257,000 tons the entire tonnage of all nations sent through the Suez Canal; while the tonnage of the Detroit river was 2,463,000 tons more than the total tonnage of the ports of London and Liverpool. This remarkable showing of the magnitude of our internal commerce has an intimate bearing on the importance of im proving our interior waterways, and es pecially on the project of connecting the Ohio river with the lakes by the Pittsburg and Erie Canal. "While it may bb questioned whether these statistical statements will hold good in other than exceptional years, they are valuable as showing the immense import ance of the lake traffic. Even with the necessity of reaching the lakes by a railway haul, "Western Pennsylvania furnishes a large share of the traffic that passes through the Detroit river, and a still larger one of that which goes through the Sault If the canal was built which would bring vessels laden with ore to Pittsburg and would enable them to return laden with iron, steel and coal, what an im mense expansion of that traffic would result 1 Beyond this, when we see what an extraordi nary tonnage is produced by waterways which, count an aggregate coast line of be tween one and two thousand miles, what infinite volumes of traffic would follow the improvements recently sketched by the special articles in The Dispatch, giving a total of connected internal waterways, with two or three outlets to the ocean, to be reckoned by tens of thousands of miles t The magnitude of the results that will follow judicious effort to secure these re sults, cannot be too urgently impressed on the public mind. When they are fully understood, it will be the universal conclu sion that Government expenditute must take that direction, long before we loan the Government credit to the charitable task of building ship canals in foreign countries. ELECTRicrrr tn mlnes. There is a valuable suggestion at least, in the idea that has been revived by the Mam moth mine disaster, that the perils of gas explosion may be infinitely decreased by lighting mines with electricity. This sys tem was first used in a Hocking Valley mine some two years ago, and has since been adopted in several coal mines and many of the iron and copper mines of the Lake Superior region. It is evident as pointed out by The Dis patch in referring to this subject some time ago, that the use of arc lamps or high tension wires would not at all diminish the danger. But incandescent lamps, which burn only in vacuo, with low tension wires, would diminish the danger by a great factor. That they would absolutely pre vent explosions is not certain, as accidents might occur from the breaking of a lamp or the exposure of wires. It is also a question for experts to determine whether they would give the warning of the presence of gas that safety lamps do. But their light would be far superior to either of the old fashioned lamps, while their absolute seclu sion from the air would avoid a vast num ber of the explosions which now periodically work wholesale destruction of life and prop erty. Of course, the cost of lighting mines by electricity would be largely in excess of the old-fashioned lamps. But the entire cost for many mines would not equal the loss of such a disaster as those at the Hill Farm or Mammoth mines. It is well worth the while of mine owners to investigate the question of lighting their mines in this way. New it is heard that President Harrison will not give Senator Ingalls an appointment because the latter paired against the closure rule. The esteemed Chief Exerutive is rapidly searing the point where he will not allow the people to vote for him for a second term be cause they did not support the force bill. The continued progress reported from the Westingbouse Electric Company of the efforts of Mr. Westingbouse to put it upon a sound finaucial basis is gratifying to Pittsburgers, who naturally take an interest in having their manufacturing concerns strong and prosperous. If the reports are true, affairs are now in shape where moderate exertion by the stockholder?, and the continuance of a disposition to as slit amonc the creditors, promise to bring around arrangements satisfactory to all. The course of the head of this enterprise, inputting up so largely from his own means to back the company, is certainly proof of bis faith and earnestness. It is Equally true that his course in asking assistance in place of letting the com pany go into court, or amalgamating with for eign electric companies, has been of benefit in preventing wider money disturbances, which during the early stage of the embarrassment were possible, but now cannot occur. The news comes from the "West that the wolves od the plains, being more badly off for rations than even the Indians, have taken to devouring the latter. Immediate steps should be taken to inform the wolves that the Indian agents are much better fed and therefore more nourishing as an article of wolfish diet The Democrats in the lower branch of the Wisconsin Legislature have passed a bill repealing the compulsory education law of that State. They refused amendments offered by the Republicans, removing the features of the law which were objected to in the cam paign but retaining the provision that all chil dren should be educated. When the repealing act has'been passed by the other branch and signed by the ridiculous Peck, the Wisconsin Democrats will have anchored themselves firmly to the platform that universal education will be fatal to a party that can elect a Bad Boy humorist for Governor. The German Government telegraph an nounces a reduction in rates to the equivalent of four cents per message. An American cor poration would regard such a rate as proof pos itive that a combination mnstbc formed to pro tect the public against the calamity of getting Its telegraphing done too cheaply. About as remarkable an example of mak ing grist of everything that comes to the mill is the proposition of the Philadelphia Inquirer that because Secretary Windom recommended the building of a new mint in Philadelphia therefore It should be built as a monument to him. The need for a new mint is indisputable; but in what respect it would be a monument tu him, is something that few people except the enereetic boomer of the New Philadelphia are able to perceive. A burglary on Fifth avenue, about half-way between the Central police station and the City Hall, shows that the members of that profession, whether amateur or regular, find their profit in audacity. There seems to "be something in a name after all. Jones has just been elected for the fourth timeo the Nevada Seuatorablp. Brown recently got a Supreme Court appointment, while the best that has been done for the Smiths is to permit one of them to run for Mayor of Philadelphia, as the candidate of a party composed exclusively of himself. This discrimination against a very large family may lead to f nture complications. A chubch, where the congregation rises up, not to call the pastor blessed, but to cast doubts on his veracity, is in danger being ranked like the Oak Alley church of old-time fame, in the church militant It is hardly correct for the Boston Globe to say that Speaker Reed's discourtesy toward Mr. Lane, the Irish Nationalist member of Par liament, "has probably destroyed the small remnant of bis Presidental chances." In the first place, the matter is a small one to use with reference to domestic politics. In the second place, since the last election Speaker Reed has not had a remnant of bis Presidental chances left to destroy. If it will take $15,000,000 to set the Chi cago World's Fair going properly, Chicago had better hustle to raise the 15,000,000. That's the understanding on which the enterprise was lo cated at Chicago. The committee on that silver speculation have been very successful in discovering noth ing besides Senator Cameron's deal. But the fact that this one discovery came upon them unexpectedly, leads some of the carpers to intimate that the committee has learned cau tion by experience, and will be able to prevent anything else from coming on them unawares. When they get to injecting goat's blood as a remedy for consumption, we may expect to see the day como when mule's blood will be in jected as a cure for weak political backbones. It is a subject of congratulation that the banking firm of Barker Bros., of Philadelphia, have been able to resume operations. With the late lesson against loading no a banking firm with wildcat railroad securities, it may be hoped that this old house will be able to con tinue indefinitely on a sound and permanent basis of stability. BEPBESEHTATIVJ3 PEOPLE. Me, Cleveland is said to be so supersti tious that he never writes a letter on Friday. Queen Victoria clings to some of the good old ways of speech. To her way of thin King a bouquet is still a nosegay. Eiffel, of tower fame, is going into politics. Be is the workingmen's candidate for the As sembly from one of the districts in Pans. Pasteur is a small, solidly-built man, very pale and rather sickly in appearance. He limps when he walks. His face shows in every lineament a high order of intellect. It is said that Mrs. Hodgson Burnett has re ceived a letter from a real Lord Fauntleroy, in which the writer expressed great admiration for the famous story in which his name is used. The late William H. Vanderbilt is quoted as saying, a few weeks before his death, "Too much money is a nuisance. The happiest time in my life was when I was worth 8300,000." Emma Mabellx Baker, wife of George Broderick, is not to take Emma Abbott's place in the Abbott Opera Company, although such an announcement has been made. Mrs. George Broderick is a contralto, and is now with the Lotta company. Emma Broderick, wife of William Broderick, the soprano, is the one who is to succeed Emma Abbott Kossuth's physician and former secretary reports that the patriot is in the best of health, and that, although 98 years old, Kossuth works at his desk eight hours daily, and finishes the day with a game of billiards, which he plays with a steady band and generally wins. Kos suth is about to issue the fonrth volume of his memoirs, covering the period of the Polish rising in 1601. Helen Bertram of tho McCaull Opera Company, is one of the very few women who look better off the stage wlth'ut paint and powder than when arrayed with all the skill and art of the nineteenth century devices. In personal appearance her face is distinctly oval with a slight tendency to a pointed chin, her nose is or the nondescript order, that may be called saucy, but her chief beauty is her pro fusion of dark hair and the scintillating dark eyes. Judge Peffeb is a talker, and quite a ready talker, and his experiences have been so varied along the plane of mediocrity that he is an interesting talker, says the Wichita Eagle. He will be heard at length and often attempt ing "the applause of listening Senate to com mand," but while he will talk sense there will be no applause If even there is assent Having belonged to all parties his political views should be comprehensive, but physically nor mentally, and by neither experience or appearance will be look or seem the representative of the farmer. Uncle Sam to the Britishers. Chicago Tribune. So ! You chaps over thera at Jamaica Concluded to givo me the shake, ahf And you sent me no card of admission To your little One-horse Exposition I Well, now, I vow. To slight an old customer this way I call Mighty stingy, and scurvy, and sneaking, and small. And I'm going to swear off from your rum, By guml Brains Wins the Cash Oil City Blizzard.! It has been philosophically and yet practically figured by some one that out of every 10 paid to a man who commands high pay, $1 is for what he does and the other $S for what he knows. It Is knowing how that costs, and that is valuable. The number of hours a man works is a consideration of minor importance when salaries go into five figures. Knowing bow is what such salaries are paid for, and the fewer the men there are who have the natural ability to learn bow, the higher the figures go. The Fate of Manning and Windom. New York Telegram. I Manning and Windom from their coffins at test that the man who tries to discharge con scientiously the duties imposed on the Secre tary of the Treasury runs the risk of forfeiting his life to overwork. Able to Afford Anything. Chicago Tribune. Cholly Old chappie, that's a strange looking stone in your scarp-pin. Fweddy That isn't a stone, Cholly. Any cad can weah a stone. That's a new potato, baw Jovet A Happy Coincidence. Kansas City Star. By an agreeable and significant coincidence the first cround was broken for the World's Fair buildings at Chicaco on the day the force bill was finally sidetracked. A Dreadful Possibility. Chicago Times. Isn't Harrison afraid that if wings are at tached to the White House it will be too fly to let him catch it againT In Tropical Dakota. Kansas City Star. People in North Dakota are trying to get up a reputation for climate in their State by wear ing straw hats and linen dusters. DEATHS OP A DAY. Thomas J. Christian. Joshua Preston. tSFECIAI. TKLEOBAM TO THE DISF ATCH. Newark, Feb. 1. Thomas J. Christian, a resi dent of Newark ever since 1827, one of the wealth iest retired business men of tbls place, died at bis borne this morning after a brief Illness. He was 87 years or age. He was a native of Virginia. Alter coin? to his home from church last nltht, Joshua 1'reston. a prominent farmer of Alcliein township, dropped dead from paralysis of the brain. i Alexander McClelland isrsciAL telegram to titi dispatch. Grove city, Feb. l. Alexander McClelland died at bis home, near here, last night ot heart disease, aged 67 years. SNAP SHOTS IN SEASON. The man who fathers a lie assumes guardian ship of a false and troublesome heir. The year is a month old, isn't it? Some old writer and thinker has said there is no one so old but that be thinks he may live a year. This is a pretty wide margin, to be sure, and would give all or us plenty time to think matters over before balancine our accounts with this world and preparing a clean sheet for the next The old philosopher who penned this liyed in an age when life was not menaced as now. They did not take such desperate chances on sea and shore to get there as we of tbls swift and des perate ace. A sound being in bis day probably lasted the allotted time, barring the accidents of war and party strife. Now there Is less war. but there's more worry and hurry, and the ghastly statistics of the one will hardly overbalance those of the other. Bat judging from the way in which many, very many, too, cling, on the very edge of the shadow, to their follies, their vices, their false idols, it would seem that the belief in tbe year margin of the ancients has taken deep root in tbe minds of the moderns. The miser keeps on hoarding his gold presumably In the hone that some day he will enjoy it, but deliberately putting off that enjoyment because of the be lief that be is destined to live to a limit on which he has fixed his warped mind. The wrong-doer will do to-morrow that which be did yesterday, heedless of the fact that each sun shortens hit shadow. In fact a vast portion of the players in the life drama refuse to re hearse a new part, but strut tbrougb the old lines recklessly until tbe curtain falls, and there is no encore. So tbe scenes seldom change. It's tbe same old two-and-sixpence all along the world's highway. There's plenty of time to do this, plenty of time to do that lots of time to turn around in, lots of time to think of things which should be thought of, bnt which are not thought of until too late. And we take the chances, desperate though tbey be, and march right up to tbe spot where the old man with a bricht spade is turning tbe green sod or pecking away at tbe cold clay. Perhaps on tbe rim of the abyss we can lay our load of errors, and per haps not. Who knows? Better take no stock in tbe year margin, or the month margin, or the day margin. But if you are a believer in tbe twelve-month limit and did not turn over a new leaf at tbe beginning of the new year, re member eleven months only remain now. The great difficulty, however, is to ascertain wben the year margin begins. We all know when it ends. The highwayman always transacts business on a spot cash basis. Most people nowadays go to tbe theaters just for fun, and grumble if they don't get it. In Stettin the inhabitants never complain to the health authorities about the Oder. The Senate is truly a deliberative body, inas much as it deliberately ignores principles for party and business for buncombe. When clouds come and rain falls dust turns to mud. When tears fall joy turns to sorrow. The preacher Is forced to respect his elders. Some of the world's rulers have been any thing but straight. Expert gamblers can give each other a help ing hand without much trouble. Some Modern Bells. Hear the patrol bell I What a tale of human failings its clanging notes foretell. How its ding, ding, ding tells you oi the city's sin: Gather in, gather in. Gather in, in, in, "W e gather in, gather in, gather In. Heedless of tbe bitter waitings. Of the mockings, jeers and railings, Of the curse of human failings Which brought about the sinl Gather in! gather in! 'Mid the din, din, din. We gather in, gather in, gather in! Hear the mercy belli What a story full of sufferings its rapid strokes foretell. How its bang, bang, bang makes you feel a twinge of pain: I have a being slain, a human being slain! There's a sob lfr every stroke For the bones that may be broke Hissing steam and stifling smoke Sounding in your ears quite plain: I have a being slain, a human being slainl Bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, I have a being slainl Hear tbe cash-box beft I What a tale of joy and sorrow Its silvery sounds foretell. How its tinkle, tinkle, tinkle seems to say in store and bar: Here we are, are, are, , Here we are. here we are. Visions of fine silts and laces, Huncry children with wan faces. Crabbed men with wooden maces Come to you in store and bar. How its silvery jingles jar If your credit's down to par. While you hear in store or bar: Here we are, here we are. Here we are, are, are, Here we are, here we are, here we are! How tbe jingle and the chinking Bets your muggy mind to thinking Of tbe cost of love and drinking As you hear in store or bar: Here we are, here we are, Here we are, are, are; Joy and sorrow, here we are, are, are. Here we are, here we are, here we are ! Why is an unruly child like Jonah? Because be has to be whaled before he can be brought Don Cameron evidently believes silence is silver and disappearance is golden. RURAL real estate owners seem to imagine that tax payers should be pauperized in order to provide tbe poor with a habitation. The Force bill seems to be in the last ditch, with Mr. Hoar as chief mourner. The daring men who leave civilization for the benefit of geography stand a better chance of living in the woods than in tho open. Emin Pasha had a close call in Zanzibar and Schwatka died after a fall down stairs. Soli tude is evidently safer than society. The man with the long arm thanks heaven he is built that way while eating dinner at a boarding bouse or courting a fat girl. When Brlgham Young was in his prime he was the boss sealer. Ir you get into a row with some fastidious folk you are liable to be called out. The air ships so far have sailed splendidly on wind. The organs now calling Don Cameron a Democrat will praise his patriotism wben Pennsylvania is asked to do her duty once more. Rivers emptying into the sea often froth at tbe mouth. The wires might be burled like the Force bill if Don Cameron could be "sicked onto" Jay Gould. Deaf folks are fortunate. They cannot hear the dull thuds. Brown, the new Chief Justice, is childless, and, judging from tbo quiet way in which he got there, must also be childlike and bland. A blizzard puts the overhead wires under foot. Bio Head is in Washington visiting his white-namesakes. When the police charge a mob the tax payers have to foot the bill. Jay Gould will get even with Old Probs by putting up the tolls on weather bulletins after the wires are straightened out. Authors are the only ones who subsist on their tales. Witt Is a father; who has become famous J like the earth? Because tbe son revolves around him. If Mr. Morton is not careful he will forget himself some day and put bis feet on the desk. Lawyers who do the St. Lawrence in sum. mer feel at home in tbe Long Sault. On the upper lakes they patronize the Soo line. It is useless to tip the waiter a wink unless you show your band. Women should remember that it's but a step from naughtiness to naught. Sous so-called sound advice is merely the sound of the voice. Jay Gould wears born? one day and claws tbe next. He would make a ten-strike in a dime museum. Lead trust stocks are quoted as heavy oc casionally, but they float on linseed oil Just the same. When you hear one woman tell another she was dying to see her you will not go far astray if you make up your mind that she was dying with envy. Astronomers frequently go on starring tours. Actors have to make up their forms and faces instead of their minds. Turfites are hossifled men. Willie Winkle. OUR MAIL POUCH. Send tho Name and Address. Io Old Subscriber, Beaver Falls, Pa. If you will send your name andaddresstothe business office of The Dispatch your complaint will receive prompt attention. V. Pittsburg, Feb. L Information Concerning Portraits. Clarence W. Bowen, Secretary of the Com mittee on the Centennial of Washington's In auguration, 251 Broadway, New York, desires information regarding the portraits of Thomas Fitzsimons. Thomas Hartley and Thomas Scott, members of Congress from Pennsylva nia. These portraits, for the Memorial volume, are particularly desired to complete tbe list of portraits of the Penusvlvania delegation in Congress at the time of Washington's inaugur ation. Clarence W. Bowen. New York, Jan. 3L Bay St. Louis on the Golf; To the Editor of The Dispatch : Dear Sir In to-day's issue of your valuable paper you state in answer to inquiry from Braddock as to location of Bay St. Louis that it is in Louisiana on the "Mississippi river. Is it not in Mississippi on Gulf of Mexico? A Reader. Wheeling, Jan. 3L An error was made in the first statement. "A Reader" locates the place correctly. IKGEBSOLIS OPHTIOH OF WLND0M. A Charming Picture o'f Domestic Happiness in the Secretary's Home. I had known Secretary Windom 26 years, said Colonel Robert G. Ingersoll to a reporter of the Chicago Times tbe other day. A better man never lived, nor a happier one. His mar ried life was like one unbroken spring day. His was really true happiness. He cared more for the comforts of home than the glamour of renown. The truly happy man is be who pre fers the solitude of the valleys, where brooks sing of contentment, where repose dwells far away from the madding crowd and uproar ious multitude. Tbere it is that true happiness is found. Such a life did Secretary Windom live. He loved homo not alone for the sweet repose it afforded, but also for thn joys unsel fishly shared with a beloved wife. Yes I suppose now that he is dead tbere will be many after his place. They may fight for it, they can hardly fill it as he did. A bet ter financier it will be bard to find. Mr. Win dom knew his topic by heart, and while I did not in all things agree with him. yet I could not, and others can not refrain from admiring the force and power and keen logic with which he defended his position. Ho was an able writer and a protund student and thinker. He defended his principles with all the earnestness and enthusiasm of youth mellowed by the soberer judgment of maturer experience. It will indeed be hard to find a man equally capable ot filling his place. IHE PEOPLE BULK Only Sorrow and Not Alarm Felt When an Official Dies. Cincinnati Enquirer. What a great country it is and what confi dence its 65,000,000 people have in it when the bead of tbe Treasury, handling more than $1,000,000 a day and reeulatinc thousands of millions of indebtedness, can suddenly die without even a lipple In commercial confidence or in tbe stock market I There is no other land like it. And why does this come about? Because the people rule and because they know that no man is so great that tbere are not 1,000 others fit to fill bis place. , Our Navy Is Formidable Now. Philadelphia Inquirer. Had not the sudden death of Secretary Win dom stopped all turtberspeechmaklng at the New York Board of Trade dinner. Secretary Tracy would have given some interesting facts and figures relative to our new navy. The manuscript of his speech is a concise account of the new ships recently ordered by Congres and now under contract, most of which will be Duilt in this city. Ihe fighting ships will be able to hurl at an enemy 28,400 pounds of steel during tbe first ten minutes of an engagement, and, to put it poetically, a single simultaneous discharge from all the guns on board any one of them would have eneruy enough to blow a vessel of her own size and weight 21 feet out ot water. Senator Ingalls' Childhood, "lam the oldest of nine chilaren, of whom six besides myself now survive, two sisters bav ins died in infancy," said Senator Ingalls to a New York Sun reporter. "They said I was a delicate child, and my father says, precocious in my intellectual development, and able to read intelligently when I was two years old. I can hardly believe it, but he informs me that my disposition was excessively sensitive, shy and diffident, and I certainly did not then give promise of that 'virility and audacity' which my enemies eay I have displayed in the Senate. I studied at the public schools until the age of 16, and becan my study preparatory for college under a private tutor." A Vaquero Wants a Job. New York Sun. A man with long hair and a breezy Western air sloshed into tbe Mayor's office yesterday and said in a loud voice that he was a South American vaquero, and that his name was Thomas McCormack. He wants a job on the mounted police, and was willing to show his ability by riding a mustang around the City Hall Park and putting a bullet in the eye of the oil painting of George Washington. Mr. Speer, the Mayor's private secretary, referred Mr. McCormack to the Police Commissioners, and then remarked to himself that such things made him t-t-tired. Our Growing Congress. Louisville Courier-Journal. We now have 16 times as many people and 5 times as many Representatives as we had in 171)0 population increasing so rapidly as to force a large tncrea-e in ratio. Were that of 1703 to obtain nor the Fifty-third Congri-sa would have a House of 1,893 members which heaven forbidl Childlike Confidence Not Rewarded. Philadelphia Times. One of the newest and most remarkable trnst schemes yet organized is that financial El Dorado, which, by the victims puttinc In $20 or so, allows bim to trust that in a year's time he will draw $100 out. An Appropriate State Seal. Louisville Ccnricr-Journ il.l The sturdy oi:iz mi ho is holding a plow on tho State seal of Kansas is probably Mr.Peffer. Where Closure Is Supreme. Philadelphia Itecord.') Germany's "closure" against our national quadruped betrays few signs of relaxation. THINGS IN GENERAL. A Presbyterian Minister and Catholic Father of Pittsburg Write a Book in Harmony The Shattering of Ancient 1 Idols The Breakfast Table. I WRITTEN FOB THE DISPATCII.l They say that at a literary club, held some time ago. somewhere, somebody read a paper entitled "The Idiot at the Breakfast Table." I wonder wby Dr. Holmes chose breakfast as tbe time of day for his series of charming and altogether delightful monologues and dialogues. Now, at dinner, people are in a mood for con versation. After dinner, the human animal is said by unkind critics to be in his pleasantest temper. Tea time is very well, as Dr. Holmes has just now most satisfactorily proved to us. But at breakfast, people are sleepy if tbe meal is early, and in a hurry if the meal is late. In many households the bread-winners begin the day witb an exercise In bread snatching. They hurry downstairs, drink a cup of coffee, witb one sleeve of their overcoat on, devour a roll while they are adjusting tbe other sleeve, and rush away to arable car, a day's business and sure dyspepsia. Who converses at breakfast? Who is amia ble at breakfast? What "professor" is in a mood for wit, what "poet" for sentiment, at breakfast? Next to the professor who so wonderfully overcame the malign influences of the break fast table ih the veracious history for which Dr. Holmes is responsible, I have an admira tion for the old professor of "Sartor Resartus" bim of tbe tall percb, and tbe wide overlook of tbe city streets and houses; bim of the satir ical vein and the brilliant imagination, I envy him his professorial chair. You remember what he gaveMectures In: He was '"Professor of Things in General." Happy man, who could follow out whatever interested bim and aban don whatever bored him. "Things in General" could anybody ask a wider subject, or more liberty in the treatment of it? And so I set this title at the outsat of this Monday Meditation. And you will see it again next week if you look for it. And the.week after next. And so on, until either the reader or the writer, or both together, agree to break partnership. An End to Partnerships. Most partnerships come to an end, I notice, some time. Or, if they keep on, they have to have the word "limited" written after the firm name. Even Baring Bros, have found that out. All but the best of human partnerships, inti macies, friendships, get to be limited. At the beginning tbere seems no limit, but after a while tbe thoughts of two people unless they keep taking in new thoughts get to going in a narrow round. And the partnership is "lim ited." Most statements of thought come to be lim ited after a while, and then go into bankruptcy. Tbey were true, but now they are true no longer. All things are being turned upside down in these busy days. Tbe old rascals of history are putting on haloes, and learning to play on tbe harps of heaven; and tbe saints are belngshown np in a sad way. As for the theories upon which the behavior of the universe has np to this time been sufficiently accounted for, we are being taught now that they are the merest moonshine, we have an uncomfortable, rest less desire in these days to know tbe real truth about things, and that is as bad as a revolution. It is made out, somehow, that Henry V1IL was a pious kin?, with a tender and sensitive conscience. Nero, they say, instead of fiddling while Rome was burning, really took part with his imperial violin in a charity concert which was given for the benefit of tbe sufferers. Washington chopped no cherry trees. William Tell never existed. Nothing seems worthy of unqualified credence, except "Mother Goose." One Pet Theory Questioned. There is the Aryan theory. Those Aryan an cestors of ours, to whom we have been accus tomed to look back witb pride (part of the pride being admiration of our own clearness of vision in being able to look back so far!) it is dis covered now. so Prof. Huxley would persuade us,thatuosuchpeople ever Inhabited the Dlanet. All that pleasant story about tbe cradle of the race in Central Asia, and the dispersion into Northern, Central and Southern Europe, and tbe variations of tongue and feature caused by differences in weather, and all the rest of it, is quite discredited. They are beginning to claim now that the nebular hypothesis is a wrong guess. Theysay that tbe vast reaches of space, instead of being filled with gaseus matter, out of which worlds were, and are, and will be formed, are really filled with flying cobblestonesl Outside our at- mnflnli... ,. c ava nn!s..a,l Tn, ...(......I ng on witb missiles hurtling in all di rections, once in a while one of tbe big stones comes crashing down here, red :hot, to be christened a meteor. In this electrical, biolog ical, neological generation, wh can be abso lutely sure of anything? Is it, for example, to absolutely sure that Shakespeare wrote Shakespeare? Nothing can be plainer than the fact that the man who wroie tbese plays was a man of education. Of course be knew human nature like a book, and that is the most valuable element in education. But be knew books, also. He had au easy, familiar, speaking acquaintance with the lit erature of bis day. You can see that by his references and Illustrations. He knew so much aboutlaw that a Chief Justice of England was amazed at it. The man who wrote this poetry has indicated In it bis knowledge of "some of the most abstruse proceedings of English jurisprudence." And he was well read in various languages. He talks Latin and French as if he bad learned their alpha bets in bis babyhood. He has founded some of bis plays on plots taken from Greek and Italian books which had not in bis day been translated into the tongue ot Stratford-on-Avon. Plainly a man of letters. Could Not "Write His Own Name. But William Shakespeare could not write bis own name without au exertion and contortion! of every muscle in his body, from his tongue to bis toes. Everybody kuows what a disjointed irregular, lop-sidcu, misshapen, blotted loose-angled "William Shakespeare" he set down on paper. It must have taken bim several minutes of hard labor to accomplish those two words. I know, of course, bow often the best writers are the worst writers; how the more graceful is the thought, tbe more vagun Is the penmanship. But Shakespeare's illegibility is of a distinctly unliterary kind. Tbis is tbe hand of a man who was unused to tbe manipulation of a pen. Shakespeare's father and motber, it seems, had a simpler way of making their sign manual. They made their "mark." A blotted cross, or an inky thumb, gave tbem a quick and easy signature. Theysay that this illustrious name has been spelled in some 4,000 differ ent was. Tbe statement seems bevond reasonable believing, but Shakespearean statlsticans have somehow counted up that number. But Shakespeare's father and mother had no need to choose amidst this maze of possible signature. Even Shakes peare's favorite daughter, Judith, when well entered Into years of discretion, signed her name in tbis modest, primitive, but not especially cultured fashion. She made her "mark." And Out of the midst of tbls unlettered family came a man of wide and profound education, versed in literature, a linguist and a lawyerl A Feature of the Poet's Will. It is not a little remarkable (following tbls tempting paradox a step or two further) that we find in Shakespeare's will no mention of any literary property. He rememberd his "second best bed," which he bestows as a mean bequest npon his wife tbe fair Anno Hatha way, whom be courted in tbe thatched cottage at Sbottery but somehow be forgets that be has in bis possession certain unpublished manuscripts, such as "Macbeth." "Julius Caesar," and "The Tempest," (possibly of value). Tbese he quite forgets. Did he ac count tbem as waste paper, or did tbey really not belong to him at all? Look at tbe man's picture any one of the score of different representations of his face, A stout, stolid, fat-cheeted, beef-eating theater manager! That this rotund fellow wrote "Hamlet," passes imagination. Oh, well; what matters It? Probably this is moonshine, too. Which? Tbo old theory, or tbe new? Either 1 Nothing is is so deceptive as figures except facts. It can be proved, you know, that Napoleon never existed. He is a sun myth. And the gospels were written in the third or, fourth centuries, and are. myths too. Yes; nothing Is so fallacious astbe unques tionable conclusions of logic This Shakespeare-Bacon business would no doubt amuse Shakespeare and Bacon hugely. Bacon wrote the name of William Shakespeare eight times one day upon a bit of scribbling paper, being in a scrtbiling mood. And now Ignatius Don nelly finds Bacon's name t.cribbled all over Shakespeare's plays. What nutters it? We have the plays. Who cares fur the title-page? That, in most books, is tbe least important page of all. Harmony of Pittsburg Clergymen. I wish, though, that the Pittsburg priest and the Pittsburg parson wbo wrote a book to. getber. and published it the other day, bad set their names and their ecclesiastical titles upon the initial page. As it is, the little book ap pears with no other sponsor than Messrs. Stevenson & Foster, the printers. A Presby terian minister and a Roman father have written, cn'jointly. a bonk of ihcoioiv, a caterhiiiu '' liu Christian leligion. Uiuark- Blllf! Remarkable from tbe fact of Its curious authorship. Remarkable, in tbe light of it origin, for what It says, and doesn't say. The little book was written for use at Morganza, and wa adopted by the board of control of that institution as containing truths to -which no Christian could objeot. It is set forth -for J possible adoption in "mixed schools." Exactly what that verbal adjective denotes Is not clear. "What is supposed to be "mixed" in these schools? Probably tbe religious or theological opinions of the parents of tbe scholars. Espe cially should it be suited, one would infer from its authorship, for scbools in which Roman Catholics and Protestants meet togetber. I have looked over tbls little pamphlet with great interest. If this priest and tbis parson' represent any considerable number ot their brethren, here is a common meeting place. Here Is a significant prophecy of what may be in the f nture. Tbe chief reason why religldn is not taught to the future citizens of this re public Is becauseHoman Catholics and Protest ants cannot agree. But here tbey do agree. Here is Christianity without Calvinism and without Romanism. It is true; it is ample; it covers the ground; it is enough. Wby teacb this admirable catechism only at Morganza? Wby not teach it still more out of Morganza, that tbere may be fewerin Morganza to need teaching? CHILE AND ITS DICTATOR. A Former Diplomat to Peru Throws Some Light Upon the Man Whom the Chilean Navy Is Trying to Depose Minister Trescott's Embarrassing Experience. Locisville, Feb. L In an interview with a reporter of the Courier-Journal, Hon. Charles W. Buck. ex-United States Minister to Peru1. bas this to say apropos of the revolution now in progress in Chile: "1 was in Chile during tbe latter part of 1886. Then Senor J. M. Balmaceda had but recently been elected President. Balmaceda had been Minister of Foreign Relations under President Santa Maria, and was the Government candi date for tbe Presidency, representing the Lib eral party iu opposition to the Conservatives. I afterward, with Mr. Roberts, United States Minister to Chile, visited President Balmaceda, and found him a very accomplished gentleman, poring tbe Presidental campaign Balmaceda had made a canvass ot tbe country, and it was understood had nearly exhausted his private fortune, which was but small, in the race. He then appeared to b a man upward of 40, tall, and of commanding appearance. Balmaceda had indicated great decision and vigor while in the Cabinet of Santa Maria. Minister Trescott's Diplomatic Mission. This is the man that Mr. Trescott, on his special mission in 1882; had to deal witb in rep resenting Mr. Blame's threatened intervention in the war between Chile versus Peru and Bo livia. Mr. Trescott sailed from Hew York in the latter part of November, 1881, with instruc tions ot a very serious nature from Mr. Blaine, which looked to a restraint upon Chile's views of her rights of conquest. This excited great indignation in that country, and which she did not hesitate to resent with an implied threat. Mr. Trescott arrived at Santiago early in Janu ary, 1882. But meanwhile Mr. Blaine had been superseded in the State Department by Mr. Frelmgbnysen, and the views of President Ar thur and his Secretary were quite different from those of President Garfield and Mr. Blaine. The Chilean Government was fully advised of the developments which meanwhile had reversed at Washington the disposition of the State Department. A Diplomat In a Bad Box. "But our Government, while changing its in structions to Mr. Trescott, had failed to advise him by cable, although the change of policy bad been allowed to leak out, and tbe astute Chilean Minister, Mr. Godoy, had cabled his Government byway of Paris and Buenos Ayres. When Mr. Trescott. accompanied by Mr." Walker Blaine, met Senor Balmaceda with the view of having young Mr. Walker Blaine present the invitation for the proposed Ameri can Conference, to Mr. Trescott's ntterastonlsh ment, Balmaceda expressed the wish that Mr. Blaine would not read tho communication, and turning to Mr. Trescott, said: -It is useless; your Government bas withdrawn the invita tion.' (This was what Chile desired.) Then observing Mr. Trescott's astonishment, added: Your instructions from Mr. Blaine have been published, and otbers are on their way to you modifying your original instructions in very important particulars.' Mr. Trescott replied: Do you mean. Mr. Secretary, that both my original Instructions and the instructions from tbo present Administration are published? Balmaceda answered: 'Yes; before you have received them I have a telegram.' President Balmaceda Is Defiant. c- "Perhaps never before wasa diplomatallowed to be placed in such confusion and humiliation by his own Government as was Mr. Trescott! His reply was: 'That may all be so, Mr. Secre tary, but I think that a diplomatist of ordinary experienco would conclude, when he learns that his instructions have been communicated to the Government with which be is negoti ating before he receives tbem himself, that it is time for bim to be silent until be does receive them.' Then, althougb engaged In a war with two countries, e&ch of whose numerical strength exceeded ibat of bis own. Senor Bal maceda went on to say to the representative of tbe United States, 'that the position was strair.ed. and he did not know bow long Chile could bear such interference." And. in the same connection, on another occasion, be said: "The United States may overpower ns, if she can afford to overwhelm a weaker sister republic, but if she attompts tu impose her will upon us, we will die bard.' And this is the sort of a man that the present insurgents in Chile have to confront. The President's Quarrel With Congress. There has been impending trouble for some years between the President and Congress, and on a former occasion, when strife was running high in Congress, and there was talk of Its ex citing trouble outride, it is said Balmaceda re marked that 'if Congress wanted to have a row the members must have it out among them selves, for he would so dispo-e the police tbat tbey sbould not get outside with it.' "From what Igatber f thelittle that bas been published, it seems tbe action of tbe Cbilean forces and insurgents is in response to a call from Congress in opposition to the Executive. The Cbilean Government, until the recent out break, bad maintained 'the peace for nearly 40 j ears. The last revolution was In 1SSL" A HUGE BAIL OF F1EE. A Phenomenal Sight Caused by an Electric Wire Accident. Cleveland, Feb. L About 10 o'clock last night an uninsulated portion of an arc electric light wire came In contact with tbe wet wall of the building on Ontario street opposite Cham plain, occupied by the Cleveland Drygoods Company. An arc was formed and a globe of fire apparently as large as an ordinary football rolled down the front of the building from the fourth story. Before the current reached the pavement the fire had destroyed it. The pbenomenon at tracted considerable attention, as the illumina tion caused by the ball of fire was quite bril liant. J o damage was done, not even so much as to extinguish tbe arc lamps burning in front of tbe dry goods store. PcOer Nobody's FooL Cincinnati Commercial Gazette. They may laugh as tbey will at Senator elect Peffer, of Kansas, and say that he grooms bis bead with a curry comb and brushes his teeth with a corncob, but tbey will find wben tbey know him tbat be is nobody's gosling. He is a man of brains and attainments, and will disappoint a great many friends in the West if be does not shine in the Senate. Sarah and Sardou. New York Wo'ld.l About the time these lines are printed Sarah Bernhardt should be nearing New York. We bid her welcome, and we wish her all success. Tbere is bnt one Sardou, and Sarah is his prophetess. Adien to Sectional Strife. St. Louis Itepnbllc Kansas and South Carolina having got to getber with a party of their own in the United States Senate, it is about time to conclude tbat the war is over. Both Shaken by the Wind. St. Paul Pioneer-frees.! Two bruised Reeds we wot of Whltelaw and Thomas are still in doubt as to what hurt 'em, a Western cyclone or a silver brick. The Only Stumbling Block Left. St. Louis I'ost-Dispatcb. The force bill boycott having been lifted, nothing now stands in the way of the success of the World's Fair except Chicago. Bob on the Force Bill. Robert G. Ingersoll. I would like to see honest elections every where; but, after all, we have to trust tbe peo ple of the States. Something Dropped. Atlanta Constitution. When Senator Iugal!' cblckens came borne to roost they lit ruht on top of him. Happy Mr. Sardou. Washington Post. Mr. Bardou's-'Thermldor" Is being adver tised on the Kroutzer Sonata plan. CDBI0DS CONDEUSATIOHS. Twenty-nine States have enacted lawl restricting the sale of cigarettes. School children in Victoria, Australia, are carried on the streetcars free. The United States consumes two-third of tbe tin plate produced in the world. Six millions of dead letters are annually torn and sold as old paper in Washington. Hebrew women, on the average, ara said to lire longer than those of any other nee. A Columbus, Mich., girl split and piled two and one-half cords of wood tbe other day. Twenty-one members of the Kansas House of Representatives are deaf, or partially deaf. Pasco county, Fla has a genuine coffee) tree on exhibition at the Ocala Semi-Tropical Exposition. A well of "electrical water" has been found in Kansas. The man who puts his hands in it experiences a forcible shock. The stock raisers of Korthern Mexico are making efforts to Induce the Federal Gov. ernment to obtain an increase of duties on American stock. The Commissioners of Fisheries for the State of New York have arranged a plan to place in tbe water of Lake Ontario 13L00O.0GO white Bsh. 4,000,000 ciscos and from 8,000,000 to 10,000,000 wall-eyed pike. The explorations of Southern Africa are beginning to flood Europe witb zoological curiosities. In Antwerp and Hamburg they have now regular sale menageries, where amateurs can purchase any pet, from a dwarf parrot to an extra-sized rhinoceros. Mrs. T. Belleisle, of Cheboygan, Mich., gave birth to twins Wednesday, a fine, healthy boy and girl, and the motber and children are doing well. The father is somewhat surprised, however, having in about two and one-bait years become the father of five children, two sets ot twins and a fine little girl. Six Chinamen and two white men were arrested in Buffalo on Wednesday night, charged witb violation of the Chinese exclu sion act. One of the white men. James A. Mil ler, is believed to manage tbe Canadian end of an underground railroad that bas been carry ing Chinamen into tbe United States by the wholesale of late. A Georgia man says he has two of the best policemen in his service in tbe State. Tbere is one peculiar trait about tbem, and that is that they never go to sleep and never get off their beats. Tbey are two enormous geese. Tbey march np and down a regular beat in front of his bouse at night, and whenever anything enters the yard at night they begin yelling like Commanche warriors. A Georgia man owns a pet catamount. It was caught wben quite young, and during its captivity it bas been reduced to a degree of docility which enables its present owner to fon dle and play witb it, not without, however, a degree of consideration as to which way he strokes the cat's fur, for the natural fercious ness of his nature is. even after ayear's impris onment and training, easily aroused. He is rapidly clearing his quarters of rats. Becently there were 700 cases of typhoid fever at Duluth, and four samples of water were sent to a university professor for analysis. From one sample a drop of water was placed in beef tea. beated to a temperature of the human body and time was given the fever germs to grow. A small quantity was then injected into two rats, and both died in a short time. Further experiments and analysis are in pro gress, but tbe unbealtby state of the water of that city is conclusively proven. A careful analysis of tbe brain of Laura Brldgman has been carried on since her death in May, 1889. at Clark University. Worcester. Mass. It shows but a slight variation between tbe brain of tbis wonderful human being and tbat of tbe ordinary person. Tbis difference, though slight, is held to be sufficient to explain Miss Britlgman's lack of sight, hearing and speech. There is a shrinkage and deformity noted in those parts of the brain which phrenologists assert bear a direct relation to these faculties. The following great names are enlisted in dislike of matrimony: Newton, Locke, Boyle, Gibbon. Hume. Adam Smith, Harvey, Leibnitz, Bayle. Hobbes. Hampden, Sir E. Drake. Earl of Essex. Pitt, Michael Angelo, the three Caracci. Sir Joshua Reynolds,Haydn, Handel. Wolsey. Pascal. Fenelon, De Henry, Pope. Akenside. Swift. Goldsmith, Gray, Col lins, Thomson and Jeremy Bentham. Among the ancients we find nearly all their great philosophers: Plato, Pythagoras, Epicurus. Bion. Anaxagoras, Heraclitus, Democritns and Diogenes. The use of electric light in submarine exploration, by divers and others, bas been successfully established. Anovel proposal is the use of an electro-magnet for indicating tha exact site of submerged torpedoes, lost an chors, or other iron masses. The magnet is lowered into the sea, within a few feet of the bottom, by a line and a delicate strain dyna mometer. It is excited by a battery, and al lowed to drift with the boat over the suspected place, when tbe sunken iron attracts the mag net, and tbe dynamometer reveals tbe fact by tbe increased strain. Isaac Meyers, a leader among the negroes of the country, bas just died in Baltimore. He issued the call for the national labor conven tion of colored men which met In Washington 'JO years ago, Irom which much was anticipated at that time, and which indeed led to State or ganization in the South and West, but as a movement bas now quite disappeared. Meyers has been a special agent of the postofflce, was once Secretary of tbe Republican State Com mittee of Maryland, past Grand Master of negro Masons ot tbat State and author ot a Masonic digest. In booming its candidate for Mayor, the Anniston (Ala.) Hot Blast made tbe familiar, though always ludicrous, typographical blunder of declaring Colonel Miller to be a "battle scared veteran." In its next issue it explained and apologized for the unfortunate error, but in tbe apology a jocose compositor rounded out and aggravated the offence by making the Colonel a "bottle scarred veteran." It was a scumle trick to play, for it bad not the re deeming merit of originalitr; still it rarefied the atmosphere of Anniston to a degree which amply justified the title of tbe Hot Blast. An American would call an ordinary Cuban house bare and unfurnished. It has no carpets, only a rug here and there in front of a bed or sofa. There are no curtains at tho windows, for tbe air must not be excluded; the seats are never upholstered, they would be too warm and might harbor insects; and tbere are no mattresses on the beds, for the same reasons; you sleep on a ploce of canvas covered witb a sheet, and possibly a light blanket be neath. There are no stoves or fireplaces. Tbere is no ornamentation or decoration of tbe in terior, though tbe exteriors are not only painted in the brigntest colors, but often elaborately tiled. LET TJS SMILE. Boy, Snow, Joy, Enow. Hands Small, Make Ball. Ball, Flies, Bat Dies. Gent Mad, Swears Bad. Gent Joy. tfat, fun. High Boy Hat. Bun. Smith, Gray Co.U Monthly. A man who married a Boston eirl pre sented his bride with a pair or diamond earrings valued at $500. She was greatly disappointed with tbe girt. She told a friend that she would have preferred a pair ol gold eye-glasses and the com plete works of Emerson. Xorristovm Herald. Professor (interceding for a disgraced stu-i dent) Does It not seem harsh, doctor, to expe young McJonkin because bis sense of honor will not permit him to dlvulie the name of the eul- Pit? College President (sarcastically) Oh, yes, it seems very harsh, especially as lam firmly con vinced tbat be is tbe culprit hlmseir. Chicago Inter-Ocean. "Sir!" said the artist who mends kettles and pans. "I beard yon speak Just now of being as full as a tinker. Did yon mean to insult me, sir?." Becalm, my dear sir," replied tbe gentleman with the loud vest, "I made no reference to you. sir. 1 had In mind the honorable gentlemen in Washington who tinker our laws. "-CAf cay o Times. "Florry, dear," faltered the "Washington yontb. "I I couldn't summon courage to tell yoa what was in my heart and I wrote It. xoa got my letter, didn't you?" "Yes. Ueorgc, I got ltf " "A d you read It. didn't youl" Yes. 1 read it. In fact, I-I read it over twice!." -And now. l'lorry."he said, growing bolder, I nave come to learn my fate." The best 1 can promise you, George," said the blushing daughter of the distinguished Congress man, withdrawing her hand from the ardent clasp of tbo infatuated young man. ! that 1 will ad vance your letter to a third reading to-morrow." Chicago Trttvnc. ' - .. -, ."-.-. .... .A... .-- , . A ftntt.rittfrifT - - tt ii nn r .:juk, m&teAjmkjmmmi& mknummwsmmmmmmu gijriiiiam.teiilim mtiml-hofa