Mmmi rSW "WPBpr" THE PITTSBURG- DISPATCH; 'SATURDAY, JANUARY 2 I80t. t V 1 IF YOU LIKE TO READ WHAT THE WRITERS OF THE LAND HAVE TO OFFER READ TO-MORROW'S DISPATCH. If You Want All tho News READ TO-M03ROWS DISPATCH If You Like European Gossip READ TO-MORROW'S DISPATCH. If You Like Science READ TO-MORROW'S DISPATCH You Can Cover lhe Earth BY READING THE DISPATCH. Are You Reading CRAWFORD'S GREAT STORY "THE WITCH OF PRAGUE 7" Are You Reading KIPLING'S LETTERS ON AMERICA? If You Are Not YOU ARE KISSING GREAT TREATS. They Appear Only in THE DISPATCH EVERY SUNDAY. A SPLENDID NUMBER WILL EE ISSUED TO-MORROW. NEW FEATURES EVERY ISSUE. Order ty Mail. Throujh News Agents or From Your Carrier. ESTABLISHED FEBRUARY 8, 1846. Vol.4 o. SSI. Entered st l'ltlsborg rostoffice. oeiabcrli. 1, as second-class matter. Eusiness Office Corner Smithfleld and Diamond Streets. 1C ews Eoonis and Publishing House --75, 77 and 79 Diamond Street. TAn u AiiVEirriMNG office, room m, TKIKUM. BUILDING. 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The ninth of the special articles on the improvement of our internal water ways, liuolished elsewhere, cives a comprehensive view of the plan for furnishing this country with adequate internal water ways. It is important that this scientifically planned fccbeme coincides almost precisely with what The DisrATCH has pointed as proper ex ienditure for the funds of the United States Government before it undertakes the mis tiouary labor of building ship canals in foreign lands. This comprehensive plan includes: First The enlargement oT the Hudson river and Eric canal route to the dimensions of a ship canal. Second The connection of Lake Erie with the Ohio river by a ship canal, such as is under consideration by the canal com mission of this State. " Third The connection of Lake Michigan vith the Mississippi system, by the Heane iin cinal or similar system st Chicago. Fourth The improvement of the Missis sippi and its tributaries giving 17,000 miles of navigations for vessels of 20 feet draft; U5.000 miles of 10 to 15 feet navigation; and 00,000 'miles of water-ways open to light draft steamers and barges. The plan for the improvement of these streams, which has been developed in the preceding articles, would, in addition to the wonderful ex tension of transportation, reclaim waste lands, prevent disastrous floods, and improve the sanitary condition of the Mississippi valley to an extent which would fully com pensate for the expense. This plan viewed in its entirety redupli cates what The Dispatch has pointed ont as practicable in the work of internal im provement, with one exception. It is possible to add to this plan a connection from the headwaters of the Ohio to the ocean, either by the Chesapeake and Ohio route or by a more southern line, or both. The presence or omission of this feature is, of course, not vital to the importance of the whole project, and can be lelt to depend on the development of its engineering possi bilities. Ou the other hand -the plan con tains a further suggestion in the direction of a link between the Missouri and Columbia rivers, which would make the proposed system of transportation an international as well as an internal benefit. The magnitude and importance of such a project will be evident to every one who takes time to gain a full comprehension of it. It would practically bring the ad vantages of cheap water transportation close to every farm, mine, workshop and mer cantile center in the land. It would com pletely terminate the dangerous control of commerce which is now illegitimately lodged in the hands of the railway magnates, and base the cost of industry and the price pf the necessaries of life on the foundation of cheap water transportation. Our contributor is fully justified in saying that the importance and desirability of this great work is be yond dispute, and that the only debatable questions are which portions of the work should be first begun; how much can be spent yearly, and what measures will secure the greatest and most immediate results. "When the possibilities of this plan of in ternal improvement are fully comprehended by the people there will be no doubt that the demand will be universal for devoting the Government funds to such work before 5100,000,000 of Government credit is sunk in the swamps of Nicaragua. THE SILVER POOL BUSINESS. "While Senator Cameron has not yet thought worth while to reply to the accusa tion of complicity in the silver pool busi ness, the witness before the investigating committee yesterday, David T. Littler, knocked the props from under the defense which the Senator's friends seem disposed to advance. It Mas claimed that Cameron bought his silver alter he had voted for free coinage, not before, so that there need have been no necessary relation between his vote and his pocket. But witness Littler dis poses of this plea by bis testimony that he purchased about $100,000 worth of silver for Senator Cameron before the bill passed the Senate. Whatever criticisms have been visited upon Cameron for his acquiescence, if not p-irticipation, in slisdy political transac tions in Pennsylvania, it was supposed alike by his opponents and friends that he was beyond the temptation of mixing his finances with his votes. Until bis own ver sion of the silver business is heard, those who cling to the belief that, if not a brilliant statesman, he was at least above suspicion of gaining any private benefit from the meas ures which came before him are entitled to hold their judgment. But at present the aflair lias a sinister aspect It should help to kill the bill, which in foolish and unpracticable at best. It must also compel Cameron to explain whether it was through density or design he became implicated in the commercial aspect of this wild legislation. PROTECTION EKOM MONOPOLIES. Both the revised Billingsley bill and the bill to reduce the exorbitant telephone charges which prevail through the State will be attacked on the sole ground that it is a wrong principle for the Legislature to set an arbitrary price upon service or com modities. This is the stock argument It always comes up from monopolies which, themselves, have long been arbitrary to the extremest degree in imposing upon the peo ple the utmost charges "the traffic will bear." There is nothing in it at least, ab solutely nothing m cases such as are now before the Legislature. These arc not instances in which the ordinary laws of demand and supply have any application. By artificial means a free market is prevented in each in stance. The oil producers have but one buyer and carrier for their oil; and those who want to use the telephone must take it at the terms which a single company dictates, or go without The most that is asked from the Legislature is to act as a fair arbitrator to fix a price which, while giving reasonable profit to the monopo lies, will check clear and undisguised ex tortion. I? the public sympathize with these bills, it is through no desire for in justice or hardship to the companies. The oil producers, at least the great bulk of sen sible men engaged in the business, do not want their oil carried or stored for nothing. They would, no doubt, be very willing to agree to charges which, upon examination of the actual facts of the case, might be shown to yield fair and even rich returns to the pine lines upon all the aclual capital invested. What they justly protest against and de mand relief from is charges so grossly ex orbitant that while creating immense, almost fabulous, fortunes for their recipients, leave the producers, who have all their means and labor at stake, in a most reduced and im poverished condition. So, too, no one wants to rob the telephone company of liberal dividends, but all may well insist tbatthere must be some just and reasonable relation between the cost of the service and the charges for it Such does not now exist In the exercise of arbitrary nowcrs attach ing to their monopolistic privileges, the cor porations now concerned have lost sight of this principle, and it is very" well and alto gether timely that legislative action should bring them back to a sharp realization ot it. The principle of the bills is unimpeachable. A FANATICAL MURDER. Another murder has been added to the long list in Allegheny county, evidently the work of a semi-lunatic. The act, attributed to religious fanaticism, ana explained by the murderer on the ground that be thought it necessary to keep Satan out of the house hold, is' likely to be considered by sane people of superstitious inclination as the work of Satan himself. It was a miser ably cold-blooded crime, shooting a woman iu the back. And while t,he criminal wili be given all the benefit of probable mental unsoundness, his own admission that be never did get along well with his wife will have some weight in deciding the responsi bility. A PKAISEWOKTHT PLAGIARISM. The discovery is mad- by a Bepublican organ in Philadelphia that Governor Patti son's inaugural ad J ss reproduces in great measure ideas of his inaugural of 1883. The opposition paper brought out the fact with a parade of headlines charging him with plagiarism. The unique spectacle presented by charging a man with plagiarizing his own ideas provokes another Bepublican paper to make fun of the first, and intimate that its discovery is of no importance. We must disagree with the latter view. It is an important thing that the Governor stands just where he did eight years ago. The point ou which the charge is made against him of sticking to his principles is his declaration that the Constitution should be enforced against the corporations. It is information of decided importance to the people that the Governor maintains his old position intact That is what the people elected him for. They have appreciated the fact that no intervening power at Harrisburg has done anything to assert the supremacy of 'the fundamental law over the corporations. It may have been feared that the changes in the Gov ernor's cabinet might indicate a change in his rigor and independence on this point It is important and gratifying to learn that the Governor reproduces his former attitude on this point at the opening of his adminis tration. If this is plagiarism, it is to be noted that the policy of our Bepublican rulers in the State is an equal plagiarism. They never did anything before Pattison's first admin istration to make the corporations obey the Constitution and respect public rights, and they have done nothing since. The old theory that whatever policy the corporations may adopt is to be accepted, no matter whether it is in accordance with the law or not, prevails now among the Bepublicans who run State affairs to the same extent that it did formerly. One is as much plagiarism as the other; but there is a vast moral gulf between stereotyped service to corporations and stereotyped as sertion ot popular rights. It is to be hoped that Gov. Pattison will go on "plagiarizing" from his first adminis tration in every respect, with the exception of getting to work to make the corporations obey the Constitution a little earlier. That is what he is there for. FOOLING WITH THE FAIR, The report oT the Candler Committee on the Chicago Exposition is denounced by some warm advocates of that enterprise as an attempt to injure it As the report deals with the extravagance in salaries, which is wasting the Government appropriation, and to that extent injuring the real enterprise, impartial people will see the matter in quite another light The real injury is done by those who direct the Government funds from the purposes of the Exposition; and the attempt ot the Congressional Committee to check such extravagance is a defense of the .legitimate enterprise from the errors to use no severer term of those in charge of it The worst danger to tha Exposition comes from those who should be guarding its in terests. Its most aggravated form is shown in the local determination of Chicago to make the Fair the excuse and means of creating new ground on the Lake Front for the benefit of the city. A recent editorial In tha Tribune refers to the attempts of the directors to make plans by which they can extend ground six hundred feet into the lake and use it for buildings. The Tribune justly points out that if all the conflicting interests involved in the disputed ownership of the Lake Front could be harmonized at once there is not time to do the work. At present, when the buildings should be under way, this determination to use time in filling up the ground for the enrichment of the city is not ah encouraging sign for the adequate and complete arrangements. It is now a year since it was practically decided that the Columbian Fair should be located at Chicago.- When we compare the progress that should have been made with what has actually been done, It is enough to create decided apprehensions for the enterprise. Even now the site question has not yet been properly settled; there is a remarkable absence of any ade quate plans of the buildings; and for aetual work in the line of putting up the structures and preparing the ground the first spadeful of earth is to be turned, according to an nouncement on next Tuesday. The great reason for this delay is the disposition in Chicago to shape the work, not for the suc cess of the Exposition, but for the enrich ment of Chicago and her permanent adorn ment Unless this tendency is sharply cor rected, the pledges on which that city ob tained the fair wilt be wholly unfilled. The press of the country has the right to speak plainly on this subject. While Chi cago will profit mostly by tho fair in a pe cuniary sense, it is an enterprise in which the credit and good name of the entire na tion is involved. If the Chicago people are ready to go to work earnestly and with the sole purpose of making the fair a great suc cess, the rest of the nation will yield the en terprise a hearty and liberal support But if the work is to be done properly, Chicago must make a radical departure from the course which has prevailed during the past year. NOT BAD RESULTS. The comments of The Dispatch the other day on the value of expert testimony against the Koch lymph, is replied to by the Buffalo Express, which is one of the most active anti-Koch newspapers of the country, with the assertion: "That argument applies as well to the expert testimony in favor of Koch as to that against him." Of course it does. It is for this reason that The Dispatch has always insisted that the full and decisive test of experience must be awaited before concluding either that the new discovery is specific for tuberculous dis eases, or that it is not We do not regard that the experiments have as yet gone far enough to fully establish the character of the lymph as a curative agent But wlten it is asserted that the results of experience bear out the dicta of experts against the lymph, it is necessary to say that there is less founda tion for that view than for the view thatiit has valuable properties. The Express supports the condemnatory view, with the remark, "A remedy which causes four deaths and only four cures out of two hundred and eighty cases has very little to recommend it" As there have been over a thousand inoculations of the lymph at Berlin, we suppose that thrse sta tistics reproduced from Dr. "Virchow refer ' to the serious cases immediately under Dr. Koch's treatment. Bat with that view the results are far from unsatisfactory. Four cures of diseases which would otherwise be fatal may be a very good showing when we reflect on the very large number in which it is necessary to await results before it can be said whetn....' they are cured or not, and the still larger number who show great im provement but are not yet cured. -But it is in the other branch of the statistics that the most significant assertion is' found. The in oculations have been going on for three or four months, and in that time out of 281 cases, presumably serious, four deaths are reported. This is equivalent to au annual death rate of 42 to the thousand, or is only a little above the mortality of many of our cities. If the lymph can reduce the mor tality in a crowd of men suffering from fatal diseases to that of a community in-ordinary health it certainly has a great deal to recommend it. It will be well to await the full tests of experience before trying to make any defi nite estimate of the value of the new dis covery. But some of the assaults on it are of a character to raise our expectations of important and demonstrated curative powers. DOLLARS FOR TITLES. Resentment may be felt against the ad vertisement of a titled foreigner for an American heiress. It is certainly1 anything but a noble ambition for a scion of nobility. But a calm, unprejudiced consideration of the subject is apt to dispel the resentment and bring the blush of shame. It is a notorious tact that American girls and the dollars of their dads have been traded recklessly for European titles, the counts not always being "ot un tarnished reputation." There is about as much to be ashamed of on one side as the other iu a plain view of the case. The ad vertising count's brutal way of putting the matter may possibly lead to some reform. have we a crrr charter? The development at the hearing of the test cases on the street acts of a legal theory that the entire city Charter is unconstitu tional, is carrying the principle of test cases to a length which few people have contem plated. The idea of the pending cases was that they were amicable suits designed to let the public and the city know where they stand, but if the stunning point raised yes terday is sustained.by the courts. It will but deepen the general impression that we do not know where we are, and the bewildered city official can but exclaim with Silvus, "Call you this amicable?" The discussion of this surprising legal contingency, so far as its legal aspects may be reserved, to a time when we are less pro foundly Impressed with the heights and depths of the possibilities that it opens be fore us if, indeed, we do not leave that branch of the subject with fear and tremb ling, to the inscrutable decrees of the Supreme Court But the lay mind may be pardoned if in view of the inroads which legal talent has already made upon our municipal status and the vista of nullified municipal legislation which this striking and sensational view opens before us,it could breathe a faint wish that it were well out of it Pittsburg has enjoyed more than the usual adverse experience of getting its street acts knocked into an inextricable jumble. If it should be compelled to add to that ex perience the sensation of having its munici pal charter wiped out, the community would be justified in giving itself over to the despair of the old woman in the nursery rhyme, and, wondering if the city of Pitts burg is really the city of Pittsburg at all, or an overgrown agglomeration ot unorganized population. Well, if the worst come to the worst it will vindicate the foresight of Tub DisPATcn in one particular. If the benoh and bar combined should reduce Pittsburg to the legal status of a township or two, it would lend new and local value to the efforts which have been .made to secure a law for the improvement of country roads. The movement to make test cases on all possible phases ot street acts Is a good one. If the Supreme Court will declare Itself as to whether there are any pans ot the legislation for street improvement that suit it, we may be able to find ont where we stand. Me. Sullivan refuses to fight his brother In the profession of bruising, Mr. Slavln, and declares, in addition, that he has permanently retired1 from fisuo life, for the reason that "there is too much money in the theatrical business." This disposes of the bright hope that Mr. Sullivan shied his caster into the dra matio arena for the purpose of elevating the stage. As to the box office view 6"f theatrical success it ought to penetrate Mr. Sullivan's far seeing interest that when he is no longer viewed as a possible defender of the slugging cham pionship, the box office receipts dependent on his histrionic attractions may fall off. It was high time for that notable and adventurons speculator of the lobby to come forward and tell what he knew about that silver pool. The committee seems to be strik ing what may be appropriately termed a rich lode in this silver business. It is noted by the Philadelphia Press that the recent sleet ana snow storm in New Eng land, broke down the overhead wire system in the cities of that section. Our cotamporary says: "Such an impressive lesson of the folly of continuing the overhead wire system has not been given in some time" We heartily indorse our cotemporary's statement of the drawbacks of tho overhead system; but the statement of tact just quoted is an error. Exactly such an impressive lesson of this folly and danger was given in Pittsburg during the storms of last month. Among all the influences which are .working in favor of the new bill to regulate pipe line charges it is satisfactory to learn that the public's old friend, Hon. W. H. Andrews, is giving the measure the great advantage of his Influence against it. We observe that some of our esteemed co temporaries are giving space to extended editorial oomment on that story from North Dakota, that the weather ont there has been luxuriating in an eighty degree temperature, that spring flowers are blooming and that the people have been putting on their summer clothes, agitating palm-leaf fans, and going on picnics. This sbows an ignorance among the commentators of the fact that Cot Pat Donan is running a fake foundry out in that booming, bnt breezy State. If the lawyers and the Supreme Court pull together hard enough they may not only succeed in depriving our city of street improve ment laws and charters, bnt they may even cre ate a harrowing doubt whether we, have got any streets. The House fixed up its rules so as to enable the Speaker to express his devout gratitude that it was no loacer a deliberative body; and the poople subsequently gave the Democratic party a larger majority than it ever had in that body. The Republican leaders in the Senate seem to be anxious to have the process repeated in that branch. The announcement of Smith M. Weed as New York's Democratic candidate for 1892, reveals the sharpening of a knife in revenge for the late Senatorial deal. The promotion of Judge Acheson to be Circuit Judge creates general satisfaction among the members of the bar. The Judge's fitness for the promotion is beyond dispute, and there is the additional fact of interest to our legal brethren that this appointment leaves a vacancy on the district bench to be tilled. In the multiplicity of plans as to what shall be done with Indians, one course ot con duct is imperative. We must stop lying to them and cheating them. When the Senate refuses an amendment to the force bill to give both parties represents tion among the election supervisors, It shows the animus of that remarkable measure, by that action as clearly as by the nnrepubllcan provision making the principal office created by the bill a life position. If those test cases should turn out to be destructive to our city charter we would be out ot the frying pan into the fire. TnE call for a ten per cent assessment ou the $20,000,000 of that Mt Carmel air-ship cor poration Indicates that a portion at least of the promises for actual flying, are to be made good. The projectors will make the money fly whatever they do with the air-ships. PBOMIHEHf PEOPLE. Alfred Mace, a son of the retired English pugilist, Jem Mace, is conducting a series of gospel meetings in Indianapolis. Joel Chandler Harris, James R. Ran dall and Richard Malcolm Johnston are to be editors of the new Southern magazine, which it is proposed to start in Atlanta. Mrs. Anna C. Fall, whose husband is also a lawyer, has been admitted to the bar of Bos ton, Mass. There are two other women law yers In the city, Alice Parker and Leila Robin-son-Sawtelle. Baron von Bleichboeskr, ihe famous banker of Berlin, has an Income of 2,520,000 marks. He is thus the third man in the Em pire in point of wealth, Herr Krupp, the gun maker, being the first. Robert Buchell, the new Mayor of Ox ford, England, lived for many years in America and became in that time thoroughly Amer icanized. For sometime he resided in Terre Haute, Ind., where he was successful in busi ness. Herman Hollerith, the Inventor of the electrical tabnlating-machine with which the totals of the census of 1890 are being summed up, is a statistician as well as an electrician, and has made census work a special study for several years. General Geobqe Whichcote, who shares with Lord Albemarle the honor of being all that remains of Wellington's army which fought at Waterloo in Jane, 1815, has just com pleted his 96th year at Meridew, Coventry, England.'-where be has long resided. Dr. Albert Shaw, associate editor ot the Minneapolis Tribune, is about to sever his con. nection with tbat paper in order to assume the editorship of the American edition of the He view of Reviews, edited in London by Mr. W. T. Stead, late of the Pall Mall Gazette. This Is the publication backed by General Booth, of the Salvation Army. Too Much Excitement Philadelphia Times.' Anotber impending disaster from the slow was things are moving in Washington is that the public mind will not have time to get fairly quieted down before the excitement and tur moil of the coming baseball season is upon it DEATHS OP A DAY. Hon. David Emery. I8PECIAL TILEQnlM TO TITB DISrATOH.l TrrusvaLE, Jan. S3. Hon. David Emery died at hla bome in this city this afternoon. He was a large producer of petroleum, was State Repre sentative in 1869, and formerly Mayor of the city. He was a brother of Hon. Lewis Emery, who stomped the State in the Interest or Paulson. The city Is in-mourning. William Hocking. Piidmont.W. VA., Jan. 23 WlltlamHocklng, an old and hlghly-respicted citizen of Piedmont, diedTuesdav and was burled at Frostburg to-dav." Sir. Hocking was one of the oldest mine superin tendents In the Georges creek soal regions. Henry L. Scott. Henry L. Scott a clerk In the transfer office of the Pennsylvania Ballroad Company, died early yesterday morning st bis home In the Thirtieth ward, ol pneumonia. He leaves a young wife and child. Cardinal Simor. 1STH. Jan. 23. Cardinal Simor. Archbishop of (Iran and primate or Hungary, died at Grau to day. Baron Schmidt, Architect VliwitA, Jan. S3. -The death of Baron Schmidt, the architect ls announced. SNAPSHOTS IN 'SEASON. Ir you leap before you look you will proba bly fall into an error. A mystical spot is the Land ot Nod, where the sleepers go in dreams and the tired go for rest. Of course you dream. But do yon remember your dreams? Not a visionary, misty remem brance, but a remembrance tbat deals with de tails, bringing along with it out of the fairyland between the darkness and the dawn a plain picture of the scene reprodnces the words spoken, plays over the musical numbers again, sings the same songs. Perhaps some have been fortunate in this regard, are constructed on grand psychophysical lines, and revel in the beauties of Dreamland while enjoying the realities of wakefulness. But most of us feel that the psychic force leaves when the lids drawn over the windows of the soul are lifted. Did you ever lie down among the flowers be side a silvery stream and read a story written by an author you never beard of, or hear a song by a sweet singer which was set to music by a composer whose name was never attached to any score t And can you follow the thread of the narrative or reproduce the melody 7 No. For it yon could the world would bo reading newer and purer volumes, the singers would be singing more harmonious songs. I read among the flowers recently. What I read, there is but 'a shadowy, shimmering dream here, full of jerky sentences, unmetrical lines, fading words. Memory only holds a blurred page, a misty picture. But this I do remember: When the narrative was most interesting, when the melody was sweetest, I plucked arose leaf for a bookmark, placed it on the page and shut the volume. I rubbed my eyes and reached for it in the dark, and then realized that it was all a dream. The thread of the story only united Here with There. The chord was lost, the spell was broken, the book was closed. Only the scent of the flowers, the shimmer of the stream, the faint voice of tho singer lingers. But dreams will come again. On the sea of night we will sail to other shores, never touch ing the same port twice, never hearing the same song sung, never reading the same story over again. Between the pages of the closed volume the rose leaf will lie and wither and die, but no breath will ever blow its dust off the leaves, for no eye will aver gaze into that book again. Why are theatrical managers like prize fighters? Because they live on box receipts. The force bill organs now call Ingalls a de s erter. They will now proceed to grind him up. Inebriates make poor sailors, because they are afraid of water. The circus at Harrisburg is well billed, at all events. There are no commanding features about the homely woman. The cloture rule that will be applied to Con gress on the 4th of March will undoubtedly be indorsed by the people. The American bog is causing nearly as much trouble in Germany now as the row over the Rhine did a few years ago. Summer's Bride. Soon winter will go, And the sun will shine. Then the buds will grbw Upon tree and vine. The flowers will bloom. Little birds will sing, And In Nature's loom " Will be" woven Spring. The weaver will ply With skillful hand. Bis woof from the sky. His warp from the land. On a carpet green Spring will softly tread, Recline like a queen On aflow'ry bed. Then on wings of Time Spring will swiftly glide To a happier clime. And be Summer's bride. Why are colts like rich men's sons? Because laej.wou kjrui& uutJi iudjt sua vru&u. , If you forge a check you will be forced to wear a check. Concessional fruit Pairs. It has been fully demonstrated in the New York Surrogate Court that Robert Ray Hamil ton married a Mann. ' When small people fall in love they Increase their sighs. When a point of order is raised in Congress the proceedings become disorderly. The young lady who powders her face feels puffed up. The late election in Pennsylvania developed some very unique statesmen, and peculiar laws are sure to follow. When is the ocean like a band of lawbreak ers? When it is full of White Caps. People who are all the while asking for ad vice are merely begging a living. When woman chooses man's vocation man can take a vacation. HOPE1TL folk never drag their anchors un der adverse winds or turning tides. Where Will It End? Here's a bow-de-do, A municipal stew. Bold Lawyer J. MeCleava Would have us all believe That our city laws Are f ul ot legal flaws; That our charter violates What the Constitution states. Here's a pretty mix In city politics. Will some one in the land ' Please tell us where we stand 7 We can walk in mud. But there will be a thud If the charter's full of flaws. It we haven't any laws. If they keep turning on the light We will soon be out of sight) .WHY is Philadelphia like a doe after a po liceman gives it a button? Because it's dead. The lawyer has opinions for sale, but soma people persistently ignore this fact. Weavers can always tell a good yarn. Why does a man In a leaky boat act like a person under arrest? Because he hunts ball. Ir Fow's "bine law" amendments go through tha Legislature a few of the individuals who have been living off the sins of our fathers will feel very blue. The gamblers will call "Old Hutch" a good quitter. He played the speculative game until be dropped 519.000,000. Quite a drop In the bucket shop. Why Is marriage like a Are? Because it fol lows a spark. A great many "buttes" and any number of "its" figure in the Indian trouble. John Brown has been posted as a swindler in Germany. He will lead the Teutons' a lively chase, for be Is very numerous. Thought cannot be publicly presented until it is properly clothed In language. Wslika mysteries, and that's why life is so interesting. IF the Granger statesmen turn on -the light soma of them will blow out the gas and deci mate the ranks. Statesmen would be "worth more if tbey adopted the idea that reforms should begin at home. A thief is not necessarily lazy, but ha pre-' fers to take things easy. ,-I Jay Gould and Rockafellar possess a fine collection of portraits of American celebrities. They aia engraved on bank note paper. A slim man with a fat purse can have bis pick of tha girls nowadays. When U a tramp a joker? When he raises a smile. The world owes the ministers a living, and the congregations carry out the contract. An Allegheny woman becomes deathly sick when she bears "Annie Rooney." It's the first case on record where music has acted as an emetic, and the doctors have made a note of it. Mills' middle name is Quarles. He is quar relsome, too. Willie Winkle. WORLDS IN STAB LANS. The Awf nl Immensity of Space Illustrated la a Lecture. Sir Robert Ball, Astronomer Royal of Eng land, recently delivered a lecture on the sub ject. '!The Other Worlds In Star Land," to a juvenile audience In the theater of the Royal Dublin Society. In the course of his address he said: Were an electric wlre wrapped seven or eight times ax a girdle around this globe, the current would accomplish seven or eieht circuits in the Interval between two ticks of the pendulum of 4 clock. But now let us suppose that a telegraphic system is abont to be in stituted throughout the universe; let wires radiate from this earth, not alone to America or China, but let us imagine a wire from the earth to the moon, from the earth to tho sun, and from the earth to some of the stars. The moon Is still so near us that the tele graphic message to our satellite would seem to pass almost instantaneously; it would not re quire much more than a single second of time. To the sun, however, the delay would ba some what greater; in fact, you would have to wait nearly eight minutes. A message could not be sent to the sun and an answer received back in less than a quarter of hour, in addition to de lays of the ordinary kind. Bat now suppose that wa a re to send a message to one of the nearest of the stars. As the telegraph clerk made the signal it would speed alone tha celestial wire with the frightful pace of 200,000 miles a second; bnt yet. such is the journey, tbat minutes and hours, aye, and even days and weeks, will pass- away, and the message has not reached the goal. The weeks rise into months, the months spread into a year, but two years, nay, even three years, will be necessary before that sicnal arrives at its destination. Such would be the problem of telegraphing to the nearest star. But there are stars In the sky to which tha telegraph, travel ing with this almost inconceivable speed, conld not convey its message until after the lapse of 50 years and of 100 years. There are stars so distant tbat were a tele graphic message sent to them at the time when William the Conqueror landed 800 years ago tho message would not have yet arrived. There are stars so distant that if the glad tidings of tbat first Christmas at Bethlehem 1,890 years ago had been wired off at the time, the message would still ba on its way. There are stars so distant tbat bad the first man that ever set foot on this globe dispatched a telegraphic message to announce hl3 advent, the intelli gence would not have yet reached its destina tion. There are certainlv stars shining In tbat heaven above us so distant that much-vaunted telegram would require a million years to com municate with them. Do you hesitate to ac cept these facts that I have described? Then know that the astronomers on whose authority they are based are those who have devoted their lives to the study ot the stars, and tbey have only had one object in the pursuit tbey hava followed, and that Is the discovery of tha trutb. OTJBS BY EIGHT. The Petroleum Business Has Come Again to Its Natural Center. Harrisburg Call. Allegheny county, Pennsylvania, is forging rapidly to the front as one of the greatest oil producing counties in the State. "Wild wood is the name of Jha newest field, and its daily pro duction is constantly growing, from the number of fresh wells tbat are being added to the list. Natural advantages made Pittsburg a leading center for tho opening and distribution of tb; best illuminant God ever gave to man in 1861 and 'on, but corporate and individual greed since tnen directed the trade to Cleveland, O., and the city of New York. In the early days of the business, territory in close proximity and along Oil creek fed the re fineries, and the Smoky City was the busiest of oil centers. New York City and Cleveland, by the aid of corporate partiality and rank dis crimination, drove the trade awav. Natuie has again asserted itself, and in defiance of all the injustice that has prevailed, Pittsburgh again favored by the golden-hued old dame knocking at the commercial door. Will tha latch string be out? or will she get the cold shoulder? arp the inquiries that suggest themselves by the favorable condition of things. There aro millions of dollars to be made or lost by the de cision of the enterprising people at the other end of the State. THE HOLY CHILDHOOD. A Work of Rescuing Thousands of Children From Abominably Inhuman Treatment. A writer iu the Wexford, Iielaud, Inde pendent says: All are already aware tbat "The Holy Childhood" has tor its object the sansom and the Christian Catholic education of chil dren born of infidel parents in China and other Pagan countries. In China a vast number of deformed children and of those belonging to poor families are thrown upon the roads. Every morning, especially at Fekin, the chil dren who wero exposed during the night are gathered in the dust carts and thrown into a ditcb, where tbey are left uncovered. In the hope tbat a Mahometan when passing by may take some of them away. But before the carts arrive to remove them .from the roads, it too often bapppns tbat the dogs and even the pigs which abound in the streets of Chinese towns, devour these still liv ing children. In tha city of Peklnalonc, in the course of three years, 9,712 inlants were des tined for the sawers, and this without speaking of those who had been crashed nnder the feet of horses or mules, or of those who were stifled at their birtb, or of thoso devoured oy dozs or of those Rrhom the Mahometans bad carried away. 'The Holy Childhood" procures for these little creatures tbe life of both soul and body. Every year it baptizes on an average more than 400,000 children. AN OLD LAWSUIT. A Litigation That Has 'Dragged Its Weary Length for Twenty-Five) Years. New Yobe", Jan. 23. A drunken engineer on the steamer H. S. Hogar, over 25 years ago, precipitated a lawsuit which is still in tbe courts. Think of a litigation a quarter of a century old and still undecided. Tbe interest on the amount originally involved now amounts to more than the principal, and tha costs must make a very large figure. Through tbe alleged drunkenness of tbe en gineer the steamer did not reach New Or leans, in 1865, in time to take a cargo ot cotton for which H. B. Cromwell & Co. had con tracted. The firm sued William H. Slater and tbe other awners of tha steamer for the sum advanced qn the contract and for the loss in Sroflts by reason of the failure to get the cargo. he suit, which has been decided one way or tbe other two or three times, is now engaging the attention of tbe United States Circuit Court in this city. sib. curiD Sir Cupid once, as I hare heard. Determined to discover What kind of man a maid preferred Selecting for a lover. So. putting on a soldier's coat. He talked of martial glory; And from the way he talked, they say, She seemed to like the story! Then, with a smile sedate and grim, He changed his style and station. In shovel hat and gaiters trim. He made bis visitation. He talked ot this, discoursed on that, Of Palestine and Hcrmou: And from the way be preached, they say, bhe seemed to like the sermon I Then changed again, ba came to her A roaring, rattling sailor, Heerled, "To ho! Hove you sol' And vowed be'd never tall her. He talked of star and compass true. The glories of the ocean, Andfromthewayhesang. they say," She seemed to llko-thc notion! Then Cupid, pnziled in bis mind. Discarded his disguises: That vou no preference seem to find. Sly fancy much surprise." 'Why so?" she cried, with roguish smile, "Why, prithee, why so stupid? 1 do not care what garb you wear. Bo long as you are Cupid I" trederick H. Weathertey in Tangle Bar. THE TOPICAL TALKER. When Will tlio Wires Bo Barled? "Abont a year ago somebody in authority, could It have been .Mr. Bigelowf said a Lib erty street merchant yesterday, "announced with solemnity that within a year all the over head wires should go under ground. I bad really forgotten all about the matter, although the wires are so thick in front of my store that tbe sunlight even finds It difficult to squeeze tbrongb them, till a man with an axe came aronnd to-day and chopped down a telegraph pole which adorns the curb before my door. Ah I' said I to myself, tbe mills of the gods grind slow, bnt they are sure.' But I cbnckled too soon. Presently in tbe place ot the, polo cat down a taller and a thicker one was set up with more cross-bars than the former had. Could there be more painfully convincing evi dence tbat the telegraph company does not put much faith in prophecies, official or otherwise, of burled wires? The liet-work of wires ob structed the firemen a great deal at the last big flre on Liberty street, but if things go on as tbey are going tbe fire department won't ba able to get at tbe average down-town store' or warehouse at all when flre breaks out. Just for fan I ask: 'When are the wires to ba burled?" Troubadours, Ahoy! "Wouldn't It be a good idea to reorganize the Troubadours?" said a clubman to mejyes terday. "If I knew what tha Tronbadours were I could better say." "Haven't you beard of the Troubadours? Ten or twelve years ago they were the talk of the town. They were young V lttsburgers of musical tastes, who organized for tbe amuse ment of themselves and society at large and succeeded amazingly well. Among those who lent their voices and their comic powers to the project were Ed Jackman, Frank Dorman, Thomas McCook, James Scully, Lou Love, John Earle, Clarence s Schmertz. Harry Schweitzer. Harry Patton and Harry Hagan. There were a score of them or mora altogether, and they gave two or three concerts for charity at Old Library Hall. AH society went wild about them, and tbe concerts were really very entertaining. Some capital voices and two or three comedians of ability were discovered. Tbey varied the proeramme now and then for instance, Harry Hagan and a squad from tha Duquesne Grays covered themselves with glory in a drill they gave. "Now, I don't see why the Troubadours shouldn't get togetheragalnintbeiroldage.so to speak they're mostly.cblckens still and wake up the town with a concert for some good char itysay tha Newsboys' Home. Nearly all the Troubadours still are with us, and I understand that some of them have been talking of reor ganizing just for the fun of the thinz." A Phenomenal Gas Well. A few days ago in this column attention was called to the pleasant and unusual spectacle of a natural gas company that had succeeded in getting through tha winter without earning the ill-will of Its customers, and some statements were made in the same connection concerning the secret of this tbe Ohio Valley company's good service. Tbe statement of the Ohio Valley Company's resources, which was ob tained in tbe first place from its president, Mr. Ezra F. Young, has since been verified in every particular, save one, by tbe writer. It was said that the company possessed a well of phenomenal productiveness, which showed tho same pressure to-day that it did when it first came in. This, tbe statement as to tha pressure, was an error of the writer. Tbe well which is on the Anderson farm is a wonderful producer, and Us pressure has been maintained toadegreo very seldom met with. lam in formed that the well showed an initial pressure of 600 nounds and to-day still snows a pressure of over 250 pounds. A New Union Station. Visitors to tbe city are wont to complain that the neighborhood of the Union Depot is melan choly and out of tune with the handsome streets they find on penetratlne theheart of the city. Even wa who live here are not inclined to point to tbe territory named with any over whelming amount ot pride. There are not so many eye-sores as there used to ba iu tha shadow of tbe big station. Tbe cro:gerie3 and low doggeries have been cleared away and some fine buildings have risen in their place. But stall the property is not improved to the extent its situation seems to warrant. A railroad officer unofficially gave an ex planation of this phenomenon the other day. Said he: "Thero would ba a struggle to sea who could first put up a big hotel of the finest kind close to tbe Union Station, if satisfactory assurrance of the permanence of tbe latter in its present position could be given. Trades men would scramble in the sama way to erect first class stores abutting upon all tha ap proaches if they were not afraid tbat the sta tion Is not destined to stay long where it Is. I think tbe doubtful factor in the premises ac counts for the absence here of the usual at tractive surroundings of a great passenjer rail road station.?' "Bat are these doubts well founded?" "Yes, Ibellevotheyare. Tho Pennsylvania Railroad and the allied lines in the Pennsyl vania Company some day how close or distant that day may be only a very few of tha highest officers in these companies know will have an elevated terminus at Seventh avenue There is nothing to prevent the railroads irom erect ing a splendid passenger station on tbe ground now given up to freight yards along New Grant street to Seventh avenue. Perhaps there is some idea of carrying the elevated tracks to a terminus at Fifth ave nne,but tbat is not so likely. For my own part I am confident that in a few years Pitts burg will have a Union station not more than two blocks from, tbe city's center. The grade crossings in both cities will have to so; the Pennsylvania's managers are convinced of this. The Pennsylvania Central and the Pennsyl vania company will act in concert in this move ment and the new Union station is a part of any plans of course that bring all tha roads into the city above grade. Tbe improvement of property adjacent to the new station will fol low." Electric Cars Give Them Bad Dreams. APittsburgerwhowas in Philadelphia tha other day says tbat the good peace-loving peo ple of tbe Quaker City are In a dreadlnl state of mind over tbe proposed introduction of elec tric street cars. Plenty of Philadelphlans are seriously alarmed at tho prospect of the elec tric' trolly system being established in their streets. Petitions against the new street rail roads are being passed around and are receiv ing lots of signatures. Some of them asked tbe Pittsburger if he did not agree with them that the overhead wire and trolly system was likely to ba dangerous, and he replied: "No, I can't say tbat I do. My experience with the electric cars of this sort in Pittsburg is that they are safe and a great convenience. Pittsburgers will walk two or three blocks to get an electric car in prefer ence to taking a horsecar. As to fatal effects, no human being has been killed by tbe street railroads' electric current In Pittsburg or Alle gheny, and the killing of one or two horses can hardly be sufficient ground for tbe condemna tion of so satisfactory a means of rapid transit." But Philadelphia, to tie sure. Is not Pitts bare, and electric cars maybe harmful to tha Quakers' nerves, if not to their lives. There is still a mule line or two about Pittsburg tbat Philadelphia is perfectly welcome to. It would be mutually advantageous to tbe mules and Philadelphia if tbey could be brought together. Bare Enough tor Bemark. Fhlladelpuia Bullctln.J That corporations are heartless is popularly retarded as an axiom, but wbat about tbe casa ofConductor Klrkbndge, ot the Pennsylvania Railroad's Amboy division? He lost his right band while coupling cars a short time ago, and the company has given him $5,000 in cash, with a promise of a clerical position as soon as ha has teamed to write with bis left hand. This looks as if one company, at least, had soma consideration for its employes. A Friend of the School Marms. Savannah News.: With nothing but powder and soldiers to face, the Indians were obdurate and defiant But when assailed by the smiles of tba Boston schoolmarms they Incontinently surrendered. Instructive Results. Klchmond Index Apptal.l It is a noteworthy fact tbat thns far nono ot the Republican Senators opposed to tbe force bill has failed ot re-election. Common Ownership of Land. Louisville Courier-Journal. Perhaps the Stoax Indian refrains from farm ing because somebody has given him a tip on farm mortgages. CDEI0DS CONDENSATIONS.- Seven staters were recently drowned in Lake Constance, Switzerland, by tha breaking ot tba ice crust. A lady's nose has been rebuilt from the) ribs of a cat. Transfers of one living organism to anotber have become quite common. Baltimore had an imposing celebration , of General Lee's birthday, and Richmond's dls- ' play and ceremonials were magnificently im pressive. A committee, of which Herr Joachim, the violinist, is tbe bead, has been formed in Berlin for the erection of a monumemt to Mo zart in Berlin. Seward Clayton died January 6 at his home near Clayton. Ga. be was bom October 6. 1799. He raised a large and' respected family. Each of bis suns, four in number, were 6 feet 3 inches in helsbt. Ihe bitter cold of tbe present winter has been bad for trade In Paris as it has been in London. Tbe toy venders who own the booths, or baraques, annually erected on the boule vards, have suffered terribly from slackness ot trade. Oranse trees in full bearing are as num erous as ordinary shade trees in tbe streets of some inland Florida cities and towns. It is a common sight just now to see the sidewalks lined with trees welt loaded with tba golden fru't. which nobody take's tba trouble to pluck. A horse treadmill, grinding sugar-caua and pressing out tha juice for sale to passers by ls an odd feature of tbe wayside in Tampa and one or two other Southern cities. Tba liquid sells for a nickel a glass, and many peopla like it. It tastes insipid and sickish sweet to a Northern palate. Bert Bliss, 19 years old, white skating on tba river at Des Moines last week, broke through the ice and would have drowned bat tor tbe bravery of a young comrade named Brewer, who uivea into the freezing waters and brought to the surface tbe nnconscious body of his companion. Maude Deneau, 21 years old and less than four feet high, was married at Lockport, N. Y.. to John Argue, a tall, slender young man, last week. Tha marriage is also chronicled at Louisville, KyM ot Polly Ann Collins, 12 years and 3 months old, to Jesse Donahue, a widower, 33 years old, Polly's parents con senting. Bar Harbor, Me., people are astonished to find that a young fellow who always passed as a dude down there, because ha manicured bis finger nails, has turned up as a bold Indian fighter in the Bad Lands. In the meantime, it seems, he has been cultivating his courage by eloping with an heiress and braving the heels of tbe bronco of the plains. The latest fad among equestriennes is to ride one day to the left side, the next to the right. Since Mrs. Jencess-Miller sounded a trumpet and informed women tbey were in danger of growinz lopsided by not riding man fashion, there bas been mnch anxiety felt over the sit uation of affairs. The physicians and the for eign barons who run our riding academies hava evolved this panacea for onesidedness. The Suwanee Canal Company, which, recently purchased tbe Okefenokee Swamp from tbe State of Georcia for S63.0U0. was organized at New York Saturday. The com pany will issue So.000.000 in stocks and bond3. Captain Harry Jackson was elected President, and all the other members of tha company were retained. The property is considered very valuable. The contract for tho canal to drain tho swamp into the St. Mary's river will soon ba made. In the park surrounding the old Stata Capitol at Richmond is a larga colony of cray squirrels. Many of tha large trees have cov ered boxes among tba branches, which tba squirrels nest in, and where they hoard their food. The little fellows are as tame as kittens. A visiter has but to stop on the walk, bold out his hand and whistle, and a squirrel will run to him fearlessly and search bis palm for a nut or other tidbit. Self-closinc gates at all tbe en trances keep out dogs, so tbat tha squirrels flourish unmolested. Philip Seibert was married in Ohio, at tbe close of the war, to the girl who waited for her soldier's return. In 1863 they were divorced, Seibert going to California and she to Wiscon sin, where she again married. Seibert also married in California. He was widowed a few years ago and started back east with bis son. and by the merest accident met his first love and they were again jnarned, she having been a widow a number of years, left with a mar riageable daughter, with whom youngSeibert fell In love, and Christmas tbey were married. The question now arises as to how the t vo fam ilies are related to each other. A company of wealtby men has been ' formed to open In St. Petersburg a "living ethnological exhibition." Living specimens of the various races and tribes that populate tha dominions of tha czar will be collected for sbow, together with samples of their dwellings and the appointment of their houses, their shrines of worship, their garments, the food they live on, the products ot their peculiar in dustries, and even their manners and habits of life, it possible. Should this exhibition be suc cessful, it will be carried about to all tbe im portant cities of tbe empire. Tbe American show of the "Wild West," in Moscow and St. Petersburg last summer, gave rise to the plan of this undertaking. A new band of religious cranks has made its appearance in Saxony. Tbe band is composed of men and women recognizing a community of goods and living generally like people possessed. They hold prayer meetings after dark. Tbe men pray and expound and tba women indulge in manifestations of hys terics. A man named Hans Wurzel, who was at one time an honest and fairly reasonable bricklayer, ls tha leader of tbe band. He claims to bava succeeded Moses, and be is now in tbe Zurckan jail, with 17 of his followers, on the charge of rioting. Tba act of riot was a de mand on the jailers for tba opening of the prison doors. They have snases in Florida. Tbey are not mentioned in tbe real estate advertisements, but tbey go with the real estate just the same, and likewise with tho water. A youngman who bad gone down tbere to escape any cool weath er that may strike here this winter was out boating on tbe St. John's river with a friend on a recent evening, and, seeing a little tributary coming into tbe main stream beneath a pict uresque aisle of cypresses, they decided to ex plore it. They had rowed but a short distance whan the creek narrowed so tbat there was barely room to propel tbe boat, and none to turn. it. and an undergrowth of bushes bung so low as to almost touch their face. A peculiar rustling caused them to ship their oars and listen. The noise was overhead. It was made b v snakes. They nad got into a regular nest of serpents. The banks were aliva with them; the undergrowth was festooned with them; they wero crawling and squirming on every hand; they were dansline close to their heads; they were wrigcling tbrongb tho water long snakes, short snates, harmless snakes, poisonous snakes, fat suake, lean snakes, ugly snakes, lazy snakes an arbor ot materialized delirium tremens. Tbe two oarsmen glanced at each other for a second, then bending low and movln" cautiously, they rowed their boat, stern foremost, back to the St- John's river. Until they reached tha more open water neither ot them spoke, and they bava no recollection of breathing. They do not row there any more. BITS OF HUMOR. Appearances induce the belief tbat tha ghost dancing bas been transferred from the West to the East-from the Bad Lands of Dakota to the Bad House or representatives at Washington. OH City Mizzara. The political complications in the Nutmeg State are grating on the iensiDllities of bones men. Sev Orleans Seta Delta. Mr. Jay Miss Gay O Carolinel marl. ' hope? do you care forme? , Miss Gay I cannot say that I am lndlfierent to you, Mr, Jay. Mr. Jay-O darling! don't speak tome like that! say that you are crazy about me. Puck, The standard military pace is two and ' halfreet. On a double-quick retreat It Is more tea Orleans Picayune. In ancient times the desperate bullies be came kings, and there was no chance for the light welgbt. Tbe pistol and party politics bava dona much for the llghtwe!ght.-JJatoi, Tex., Sews. "Well," said Mrs. McGadley, after her visit to a notablo social event, "I have beard about society people showing each other the cold shoulder, but from tbe way some that I saw were dressed I doa't wonder at their shoulders being chilly." Washington Post. From the prominent part the navy seems to nave In tbe Chilean revolution It looks as If they would sea it through, Neio Xork Evening World. "Demi-train," he exclaimed as be stepped on it and fell over it in two or three places. "ButitUn't," she said, unconscious of bis pro- . faultr.and prourtly.for it was her first long gown. ' Washington Star. Chorus of Boston Girls Tell us all abont your new frocks, t'allas! Pallas (with dlgn!ty)-AU I can say ot them, . young ladles, can be adequately expressed lu' few words. Tbey are beyond the range of vUloa,' ' -StxoXoTk Herald, v " t, fr txMi KefillO