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THE PITTSBXJKG DISPATCH,1"' THURSDAY 'JANUARY 22,
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1891
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PITTSBURG, THURSDAY, JAN. 22, 1891.
THK INTERESTS INVOLVED.
There are numerous projects in which the
money or credit of the United States could
be used to advantage in aiding the construc
tion of ship canals and water communica
tion generally throughout the interior.
But it happens that most, if not all, of them
would create competition with certain pow
erful corporations or otherwise interfere with
plans of the monetary powers of the coun
try. There is that Harlem River Ship Canal,
for instance, which would shorten the dis
tance and still more decrease the difficulty
of passing from Iong Island Sound into the
Hudson river. But the Harlem Ship Canal
will interfere with the bridges of the New
York Central Railroad, and is consequently
looked upon with little favor.
There is the project of deepening the
Hudson rirer and Erie Canal so that trans
portation from the lakes to the Atlantic
would be vastly facilitated and gun
boats could in case of war be sent from New
Tork to the lakes. But this will increase
the effectiveness of the water competition
with the trunk line roads, which in some
quarters is a vital objection.
There is the project of connecting the
Ohio with the lakes by the Lake Erie ship
ranal, which would reduce the cost of ship
ore and coal by fifty cents a ton and connect
the Mississippi valley with the lower lakes
in case of war. But this also would make
an inroad upon the coal, ore and iron traffic
which the railways have marked as their
own at high freight charges. They do not
care to look to benefits berond that
There is the project of a canal from Chi
cago to the Mississippi, which would per
form the same function for the upper Mis
sissippi and the upper lakes that the Lake
Erie canal would for the Ohio and the lower
likes. But this would also set up cheap
water competition for the grain traffic of the
northwestern roads.
There is also the project of a trans-Allegheny
canal from the head waters of the
Ohio to Chesapeake Bay, which with im
provement of the rivers on the scale de
veloped in the series of articles now being
published in THE Dispatch, would give -a
continuous water route from all the localities
reached bv the tributaries of the Mississippi
to the lakes and the seaboard. But this
would set up water competition with nearly
nil of the through lines of railroad, and re
duce the latter corporations from their pres-
ent proud position as rulers of commerce to
that oi its servants.
A hundred million dollars of Govern
ment appropriations, or the same loan oi
Government credit, would go far toward
realizing the leading features of these mag
wificent and comprehensive projects oi
water communication, connecting all parts
or the country, and reaching the ocean by
three different channels, lint when we re
member the universal interest of the corpor
ations in choking off such projects of cheap
water transportation, it may be regarded as
a natural sequence of this conflict of inter
ests th it it should be proposed to sink $100,
000,000 of Government credit In the swamps of
Nicaragua, for the benefit of promoters, and
that the organs of corporate interests every
where should agree that this is exactly what
the Government ought to do.
That seems to be the verdict of the present
ruling classes; but it is likely to become a
live question for the people to consider
whether it is better to spend 5100,000,000 in
this country for the benefit of this nation, or
to spend $100,000,000 in Nicaragua in the
interest of speculative promotors and for the
protection of our own corporations.
STATE MEDICAL BOARD.
Medical practice is certainly a matter oi
gravest concern to all, and any movement to
raise the standard of qualification for the
practitioner is likely to meet with popular
approval. The proposition of the doctors of
the State to have such qualifications passed
upon by a board of medical examiners is in
this line. The easy requirements of some
medical colleges and the existence of bogus
medical schools renders the mere possession
of a diploma unreliable as a guide to fitness
to practice medicine. But in creating an
examining board great care is necessary. It
will not do to allow one school to get control
to the detriment of another. There are sev
eral recognized schools of medicine, each
with eminent and able physicians in its
ranks, and all these should have equal
standing before the board.
A SYMPATHETIC VERDICT.
The verdict of a Maryland jury in the
matter or the sureties of State Treasurer
Archer, who recently turned defaulter for a
large amount, is a curious example of the
the compromise verdict, which is dignified
in this instance by the adjective "sympa
thetic" The bondsmen of the Treasurer
undertook to guarantee his fidelity in office,
were therefore, on the face of the case, liable
for the amount of his shortage. But negli
gence was shown on the part of the State
officials in the supervision of the Treasurer's
accounts; and it was argued that without
this negligence the defalcation could not
have taken place, at least to the amount it
actually reached. The sympathetic nature
of the verdict took a singular phase. The
jury was not sympathetic enough to let the
bondsmen off scott free; but sympathy com
pelled them to recognize the effect of the
official negligence to the extent of cutting
down the judgment against them to $60,000,
or less than half the defalcation.
Of course, such a verdict is utterly illogi
cal. The official negligence must either hare
been of a sort that absolved the bondsmen
lrom liabilitv or a sort that did not. It the
-former, the verdict took $00,000 from them
WlieB
thit does not belong to the State; if the lat
ter, it failed to collect an even greater sum
honestly due the State. In either case in
justice is the result. It is true that the in
justice it not of the Vital class inflicted by
such compromise, verdicts as that in the
Crohin case in Chicago, where either inno
cent men were sent to the penitentiary, or
cold-blooded and conspiring murderers were
let ofl with a few years' imprisonment
The genius of the jury system in turning
out verdicts utterly irreconcilable with logi
cal processes', is a feature that calls for at
tention.'' PETROLEUM IN ALABAMA.
There is no probability that the discovery
of an alleged 25-barrel well in Alabama
will depress the petroleum market. It is
usual with these faraway discoveries to be
of a superior grade of oil and also to be over
rated as to production by about fifty per
cent. In this particular case the declara
tion that the oil comes from the Trenton
rock tends to reflect against the superiority
of the product, all of the Trenton rock oil
known to commerce being of a very inferior
grade. It may readily be believed that all
of the oil-producing areas have not been
discovered or developed yet, but the particu
lars given of the Alabama find are not
likely to depress the hopeful spirits of pro
ducers in the old fields.
CO-OPERATIVE HOUSEKEEPING.
The sixty housekeepers of Evanston, 111.,
who essayed co-operative housekeeping, and
discharged their cooks, are still struggling
with difficulties which cause the unregen
eratepartof societies to indulge in jeers.
The main difficulty is stated by one of the
ciitics as follows:
There Is a dead cold void in the heart of the
house, and they find the expense of a common
kitchen greater tban they had anticipated.
Then there are other drawbacks In spite of
heated hampers the food is iften cold when It
reaches them. The bill of fare, too. Is uniform,
not individual. There are roast beef days,
when the whole sixty families must eat roast
beef. Roast chicken days, when, nolens tolcns,
all must eat roast chicken.
This statement makes it the reverse of
strange that the attempt should fail. As to
its bearing on co-operative housekeeping,
the failure is of no moment, because the at
tempt was not in the line of co-operative
housekeeping at all. It is an adaptation of
the plan of serving meals by caterers, which
was tried in many cities years ago, and
failed on account of its inconvenience, lack
of economy and difficulty of keeping the
food warm in transit. Another reason of
failure is apparent in the expectation that
the bill of fare is to be varied and profuse.
Every private family much below the stan
dard of the millionaire's has its roast beef
days and chicken days; and the ordinary
mass of mankind has its bash and stew
day;!. That an experiment of this kind
should fail where extravagant expectations
are entertained is not singular, but natural.
However, intelligent attempt at co-operative
housekeeping' to organize and divide
the domestic labor of several families is
another thing. For the families in which
housewives can afford to be kept in a purely
ornamental position, the family hotel, or the
apartment house with restaurant attached,
furnishes a more economic and satisfactory
resort. But for the great majority whose
wives must do their share oi the work in
keeping np the home, it remains a vital
question whether the work of a number of
families cannot be united and systematized
so as to secure a very great advance over the
present state ol affairs. Certainly there
have been as yet no experiments of snch
character as to impose a negative to the
probabilities which reason shows in favor of
such an idea.
In nearly every department of masculine
efforts'the organization and division of work
has been successfully carried out with the
results of far greater efficiency than other
wise possible. One man will build houses,
another sell groceries, another sell hardware,
another pave the streets and so on, but the
division does not stop there. In building a
house, for example, one set of men will do
the digging, another lay the foundations, a
third lay the brickwork, a fourth do the
carpenter work, a fifth the plastering, a sixth
the painting, and bo on. The results are
well known to be better not only because one
man may naturally be better at carpentering,
and another at stone work, but because if
the capabilities are equal the man who gives
all his attention to carpentering can learn to
do better work than if he splits his efforts up
among half a dozen trades. It is likelv that
the failure to apply this same division of
labor to household affairs is an inheritance
from the agricultural life of the nation when
the separation of homesteads made co
operation impossible; but for communities
where people live in close juxtaposition the
parity of the case indicates that the co
operative idea, supplying this division of
labor, would yield as great an enhancement
in results as it has in other work.
Let us take the average family living in
houses costing $2,500 apiece. Of a group of
-ten housewives, it is certain their capacities
for different kinds of housework will vary as
one star differeth from another. Some will
be better cooks than seamstresses; others
will have an especial knack for dressmaking,
and some will possess an especial art for
ironing linen in the best style. The division
can be pursued iurther; but the illustration
indicates one of the great gains from in
telligent organization and division of the
labor of, say ten households. It is clear,
too, that such a combination should develop
other marked advantages. A large part of
its supplies could be bought at wholesale.
When tentative experiments had demon
strated the practicability of the plan, a
great economy could be secured by abolish
ing the kitchen part of each dwelling house,
and grouping the individual home about a
central kitchen, storeroom, cellar and
laundry.
Of course the difficulty would be, first, in
overcoming the prejudice in favor of the
present state of affairs; and, second, in in
ducing.women to adapt themselves to the
work of organized household labor. Both of
these difficulties are likely to be so great as
to doom all early attempts to failure. The
advantages must be demonstrated and
16arned step by step before the female half
of society can understand how to work to
gether as meS do. "Whether snch organiza
tion will ever be possible or not we can rest
assured that all attempts at co-operative
housekeeping which try to make idle ladies
of housewives will necessarily be economic
failures.
THE RIOT OF PARTISANSHIP.
The political occupation of obstructing
the business of the country in both branches
of Congress went on with unchecked eclat
yesterday. The vigor and interest with
which the leaden of both parties proceeded
to ignore everything beyond party strife it
sufficient to convince the public that the
last consideration is with them the first
In the Senate the Democrats with great
glee tangled up the Vice President and set
him at the unpleasant task of confessing
that as a parliamentary presiding officer he
had yesterday done the things he ought not
to have done and left undone the things he
ought to have done. Bat whatever satis
faction this may afford the Democrats is
offset by the demonstration in the House
that Speaker Reed is himself again in his
old act of reducing the Democrats to.speech
less rage by calmly ignoring them and their
Dilatory motions together.
All this is done while the business of the
country is suffering because the Republicans
are determined to carry out their great
scheme of giving John L Davenport a posi
tion for life in fixing up election returns
with power to name hit successor; and be
causelhe Democrats are bent on meeting
that remarkable effort with obstructive
tactics, instead of permitting their opponents,
after due and impressive opposition has been
manifested, to assume the crushing re
sponsibility of such unrepublican legisla
tion and thus break their necks beyond all
hope of redemption. s
It will not require many more Congresses
of this sort to convince the people that there
is a pressing need of a new party with in
telligence enough among its leaders to prefer
public welfare to partisan selfishness.
WORLD'S FAIR VERSUS FORCE BILL.
The refusal of the Tennessee Legislature
to pass a bill appropriating money for a
State exhibit at the Chicago "World's Fair
until a vote has been taken on the elections
bill in the Senate, calls forcible attention to
the effect of the agitation of that measure.
That the action indicates a narrow view of
the interests of Tennessee and this whole
country, on the part of the lawmakers of
that Southern State, does not detract from
the demonstration of the harmfulness of the
force bill. The exhibition of partisan bigotry
by the Tennessee Democrats is no worse
than the partisan bigotry that led to the in
troduction of the elections bill by Repub
licans in Congress. The bill, become a law,
would probably interfere more with the
rights of qualified electors than any present
practices, and the agitation of it is reopening
all the old sectional prejudices.
HIGHLY USEFUL IF "WELL TAUGHT.
The Central Board of Education has done
well in deciding to employ a supervisor for
instruction in drawing at the public schools.
There are few single studies more important
than this, it it is well taught Skill and
taste in drawing constitute one of the essen
tial rudiments of that industrial and techni
cal education toward which the most ad
vanced minds are now tending. But that
the time and attention bestowed upon this
branch should be pf any value whatsoever,
instruction in it should proceed under ex
pert and thoroughly competent direction,
in place of being left to the varied and un
assisted talents of the regular teachers of
the ward schools. However devoted these
latter may be to their dnty, drawing is a
specialty for which all cannot hope to be
equally adapted.
Much of the time and money formerly
spent upon drawing in the public schools
was lost because of want of the best methods.
The Central Board should get a supervisor
who can supervise. In the schools of Alle
gheny much progress has been made in this
branch recently. Pittsburg can get some
points by looking across the river.
CAMERON AND THE SILVER POOL.
The statement of Mr. Vest that Senator
Cameron, who has just been re-elected from
Pennsylvania, admitted having been inter
ested speculatively in the silver market, at
a time when the silver question was before
Congress for decision, will make a decided
stir. Even the opponents pf Cameron when
attackinghim for his apathy on the force
bill, and for general want of the shining
qualities which go to make a statesman of
the period, had not supposed that he was
liable to be tarred by this stick. .He was
believed to possess means enough to raise
him beyond the inducements of the specula
tive markets, and to have had such memory
of the mishaps of Congressmen in the early
70's, by becoming interested through their
pockets in bills before Congress, that silver
pools or other such speculative ventures
would have no attraction for him. Mr.
Canjeron's side of the case still remains, oi
course, to be heard. Meanwhile, if the
testimony of Senator "Vest had been given
on Monday in place of "Wednesday, there is
no doubt it would have been used for all it
might have been worth, and perhaps effect
ively, to prevent Cameron's re-election.
The Senator's constituents can only wait
until they hear what he has to say in de
fense. He should lose no time in taking
the floor.
A befort of a difference of opinion be
tween President Harrison and the Civil Service
Commission represents the head of the admin
istration as upbraiding the- commission because
it is not satisfied with what it already possesses.
"Instead of constantly reaching out into new
fields." There have, been indications hereto
fore that the President forgets his election on
a platform which plodged the party and tbs
administration to "the further extension of the
reform system already established by law to all
the grades of the civil service to which it is appli
cable." But Mr. Harrison seems, according to
this report, to place his oblivion of the Repub
lican platform beyond all dispute.
If Senator Vest's assertion that Senator
Cameron was interested in the silver pool is to
be corroborated, it will put the newly-elected
Senator from Pennsylvania in a very uncom
fortable attitude, the only mitigation of which,
for him, will bo that the exposure did not occur,
until after his election was safely secured.
Ix is interesting to observe in the New
York Press a notice of the American Cotton
Oil Company in which it is remarked that the
corporation Is a big one In the nature of a trust,
"and yet it is probable that few New Yorkers
ever heard of it." In view of the way in which
the public was plucked by the manipulations of
that trust a few years ago. and the interesting
discovery that there was nothing in the organ
ization of the combine to prevent the officers
using its funds for speculation in its own stock,
it was supposed that New Yorkers would be
able to hold that big corporation in tender and
sorrowful memory for a longer period than two
years.
It is now asserted that there are 335,000
heathen In New York City. This does not agree
with the claim of New York: that the census
total of 1,500,000 was 209,000 too small.
It is reported from Minnesota that the
Hon. Ignatius Donnelly is not disposed to rest
in ingloriouB Inaction. "He makes and seconds
every motion in the Senate," says the St. Paul
Globe, "debates it decides it, appeals from the
decision of the chair, debates that, moves to
adjourn, suspends the rules, and debates the
motion to adjourn, and so on until night." The
esteemed Globe fails to perceive, however, that
through all these manifestations of Donnelly's
activity there runs a cipher which expresses
the sentiment that Donnelly has his eye on the
chance to exercise still greator ability to run
things at the national capital.
New bills for license commissions and
measures to permit the collection of street
improvement assessments are all the rage in
legislative fashions at Harrisburg.
Now it is discovered that the sockless
Simpson of Kansas cannot be President of
the United States, having been born under the
rule of Queen Victoria, in Canada. This may
decrease the opposition to Simpson on the part
of certain politicians. It even presents the
possible outcome of an alliance between that
recently converted champion of the fanners.
John James Ingalls. and bis unsocked antago
nist, by which Ingalls will let Simpson go to
the Senate and Simpson will make Ingalls the
Alliance candiaate for President on the plat
form of that' speech on silver and a great
many other topics.
The partisan fever has reached the point
at which both parties are equally determined
that no business shall be done at this session
for the benefit of the people.
The National Board of Trade has as
sumed the duty of urging upon Congress the
revision of the present census, and statistical
legislation with a view to greater efficiency In
the future. The need of greater efficiency is
beyond question; but whether a permanent
census office which is the distinctive feature
of the new idea would secure it is a question
that would depend very largely on the incumb
ent of tbo office.
Let us hope that the Powers of Europe
will not inform Emperor William that be can
lay his scheme for disarmament before the
marines. ,
"One English lord has made himself
ridiculous." remarks the Boston Iraveller, and
proceeds to cito as an instance the fact that
blr George Baden-Powell, says that the object
of the McKlnley bill la to fores Canada into
union with the United States. That is rather
silly, but perhaps the English might think Jt
no less ridiculous for an organ of Boston cul
ture to refer to an English knight as an En
glish lord.
The Vice President who makes rulings
one day that ho has to take back the next is
likely to come to grief at last.
The reference of Senator Ingalls to the
fact that George Washington was the richest
man of his day, but had after all a mere $$00,.
000 fortune, draws for the Imagination the har
rowing picture presented by the thought that
if the Father of his Country had lived to-day
he could not have gained a recognition by the
present millionaires as anything more tban a
man of common fortune.
MEN AND WOMEN.
General Moltxe read Homer's "Iliad" In
translation when a boy of 9. It has since re
mained one of his favorites.
It is said that Major George H. Bonebrake,
of Los Angeles, will be United States Senator
in the event of the death of Senator Hearst.
Bishop Hare, of South Dakota, who has
lived among the Indians for so many years, has
acquired tho habit of smoking "klllikneck."
Mrs. Schliemann, in addition to her other
accomplishments, has a "ilent for tapestry that
would have made her a fit companion for Pen'
elope.
MoNcrRE D. Conwat is engaged on a life
of Thomas Paine, and desires the nse of letters
and other material which may not be already
at his disposal.
George D. Burton, tho New Hampshire
man who devised the "palace animal car," has
been made an honorary correspondent of the
Parisian Academy of Sciences and given a gold
medal of honor.
The book so long promised from George
Vanderbilt is said finally to be in the publisher's
hands. It is a romance, its scene being in the
South, and the story is something of a war
reminiscence. It is not stated whether the
young millionaire will publish over bis own
name or a nom de plnme.
Walter Damrosoh is said to have asked
$1,000 for conducting the Metropolitan Opera
House orchestra at Mr. W. K. Vanderbilt's
concert. Yet ten years ago he was willing to
accept $10 foran evening's work. At that time
he used to go out to Newark once a week to
conduct a little choral club there, and was glad
to receive 16 for bis evening's toil.
"Uncle Dick" Oglesby, whom the Illinois
Republicans have nominated to succeed Mr.
Farwell in the United Stales Senate, is a pic
turesque figure in Western politics. His hair
is white as snow and his form is bent with the
weight of more than 79 years, but there is still
a great deal of youthful vigor in him. He
combines the arts of the old-time politician
with the tactics of the modern. He can set the
backwoods afire with the eloquence of bis
oratory when he warms up to an old-fashioned
stump speech, and he can amuse a, district
school audience with the strains of "Old? Dan
Tucker" or the "Arkansaw Traveler," sawed
from a wheezy fiddle. He has a stock of stories
that delight the men around the grocery store
stove, and he shines, when occasion requires,
in a drawing room. He has been a farmer
since he last sat in the Governor's chair of
Illinois.
GOVEBNOB PATTISOH'S INAUGURAL.
New York World Dem.: Governor Paul
son's inaugural message is an able, bold, states
manlike document the work of an honest
reformer and a true Democrat. It will attract
attention throughout the country.
Philadelphia Inqui) er. Rep. : Governor Pat
tison's inaugural will be read because he bas
not made the mistake of firing a broadside.
Besides, it deserves attention for what there is
in it. There Is a god deal of familiar talk
about corruption and all that, but when boiled
down the main points are found to be constitu
tional enforcement, ballot reform, the equaliza
tion of taxation, the better government of mu
nicipalities and the safety ot public funds.
Philadelphia Jforth American, Hep.: Gov
ernor Pattlson scorns to bo very much in earn
est in his advocacy of ballot reform. We agree
with him as to its desirability, and hope the
present Legislature will pass and present to tbo
Governor for his approval as good an approxi
mation to the Australian method as our organic
law will sanction. The Governor thinks we
cannot have compulsory personal registration
and absolute secrecy without amending the
Constitution. And we suppose he is right
But it will reqnire abont three years to achieve
ballot reform In that way.
Philadelphia Press, Hep.; Governor Paul
son's inaugural address has a familiar sound.
Indeed, much of it Is taken word for word from
his former messages. The confident, know-it-all
air with which he addresses the Legisla
ture is in strong contrast to the cautious, mod
est tone which pervaded all of Governor
Beaver's official utterances, and rather suggests
the schoolmaster haranguing the boys after
the long vacation than the inaugural address of
the Governor of a great State. The Legisla
ture might as well take notice that His Excel-
lav. A. l..,ve 4nf n!. t nm.l, . ... 1....3...... .. M
has vetoes alreadv in stock for most nf th
measures It will try to enact
Philadelphia Times, Dem.: A new adminis
tration is judged not only by the professions of
its chief, but also by its environment, and the
people of Pennsylvania will closely scan the
deliverance of Governor Pattlson in his inau
gural, and as closely study the Cabinet chosen
to constitute his official advisers. His frequent
and distinct utterances during the late'contest,
in which he developed into masterly leadership,
prepared the public for the plain, straight
forward, practical expressions of his inaugural
address; and when it is said that these expres
sions meet every just expectation, the highest
encomium is passed upon them.
Philadelphia Record, Dem.: His argument
for the enforcement of the provisions of tho
Constitution which ars dependent upon respon
sive action of the Legislature is no less an
appeal to the judgment than to the conscience
ot representatives. Sixteen years of neglect
have not weakened the authority of the organic
law, nor served, to excuse the f allure-ot the
representatives of the people to give them the
benefit that would be derived from Its
enforcement by appropriate legislation.
The unreserved indorsement of ballot reform,
and of such changes In the. election laws and in
the Constitntion as wonld be necessary to make
It entirely effective, folly redeems the pledges
of the party to which Mr. Pattlson owes his
election, and ought to satisfy bis opponents,
who are also committed to this policy. ,
DEATHS OF A DAY.
Major E. A. Ludington. i
ItnCXAX. TEI.EOBAX TO TH DIBrATOH.1
Ukioktowk, Jan. 21. Major E. A. Ludrkgton
died here this evening at the house of his sister,
Mrs. H. V. Kankln. Malor Ludington had been
In the service for 28 years, and Ave years ago he
was placed on tho retired list. He was U years of
aire, and previous to entenni; the army be had
bun admitted to the Unlontonn tnr.
Mrs. Julia C Havekotte..
Mrs. Julia a Havekotte, wire of Theo. Have
kotte, died yesterday at her residence. No. SIS
Liberty street. Mrs. Havekotte was Ss years old.
Tlie funeral will taxe place to-morrow afternoon
at the German Evangelical Church, Smlthneli
street.
SNAP SHOTS IN SEASON,
The deaf and dumb are compelled to give
a bond, because they cannot give their word.
Abe you one of the IndispensablesT Among
the hosts which make up the living foundation
upon which society rests, a vast army of men
could be recruited who really believe tbat the
structure would come down with a crash Jf they
withdrew their support. They are the India
pensables, the You-can't-get-along-wlthont-Me's.
Doubtless you have met some of them.
They have impressed you with the idea tbat
they formed a vital part of the gearing or the
shafting which keeps tho complex ana huge
machine called life running along surely and
safely. If they wero displaced, or cracked, or
laid off for repairs, the motor would wobble and
groan and eventually collapse, so they
imagine. The world would simply go to the dem
nition bow wows. You meet the Indispensa
bles on all the roads of life In the mills, the
counting rooms, the shops, the laboratories,
the factories, the schools, the cubby-boles
where the pencils smoothly slide and the pens
scratch in chill-Riving silence, on the sea and on
the shore. They fill nichesin every grade ot all
the callings. They ply and think and imagine
that they nurse a secret and hold a key which
no other being can learn or no other person
turn. You have heard tbem talk, haven't you?
And did you really become persuaded that they
were indispensable? Surely not. Clever they
may be ant, industrious, secretive, inventive,
a vital portion of mechanism, but not, for all
that, indispensable. They are merely the little
cogs in the big wheel whose gearing grinds and
grinds and sends the power along the big shaft
to the broad belts which snap over tho
polished pulleys in the social shop of
the rumbling old world. "When an Indis
pensable snaps under the pressure the cog can
be replaced without even stopping the motor
or jarring tho machinery. He drops out and
some one else drops in. He Is not missed. Tbe
grind goes on and on, the structure stands firm
as ever, the work fails to show tho touch of less
nimble fingers. What You and I have done
Thee and Thine can do. So the shuttle will
never cease to fly under the hands of the
weavers, brlnginc ont the colors that will still
be brightened by tbe dyers, who will handle
yarns still to be furnished by the spinners after
the Indispensable of to-day has been dispensed
with and his memory only recalled by a bronze
iu the public square or a white or gray shaft in
tho meeting place of the rich and the poor.
Mtbbh will harden tbe gums and gall will
harden the cheek.
When aro fishermen like cruel husbands?
When they give their wives a smack, ot course.
When Cleveland calls up Central now he
shouts "Hill, OI"
The lawyer who hoodwinks his client prac
tices deceit.
The promoters of New York's French ball
can give the Yellow Dogs some valuable point
ers on blackguardism.
"When does a burglar resemble a pair of bel
lows? "When he's a safe blower.
Hogo bas been inaugurated Governor of
Texas. If bo roots in the right place the other
fellows will do the grunting.
Love and Gold.
I heard a brown-faced maiden, sad.
Pinched witb hunger, thinly clad,
Sing a sorry song;
"While in the throng
A dark-eyed, lissome lad -Begged
for the wealth they had.
She sang like a frightened bird
A tear mellowed every word;
Bat the coins that fell
Broke the maid's sad spelt
The music the sad singer heard '
The heart of the glad singer stirred.
1 heard that brown-faced maiden sing
Gay as a lark in budding spring;
She sang to that lad
Of the love she had.
Her voice bore a gladsome ring
Love and gold. gave them everything.
If you are not contented witn your lot now,
you might as well bs occupying your lot in the
cemetery.
Individuals often escape the jaws of
death by the skin of their teeth.
Why are the bad Indians like sinners doing
penance? Because they are forced to carry
guns for Miles.
It will sound strange in Europe to hear of a
King dying In America. Kalakua was the first
wearer of a crown to visit us and the first to die
under the stripes and stars.
Soke people are so lazy that they growl when
forced to lift their eyes.
The storm center bas shifted to Washington,
where a Southern cyclone of great energy pre
vails, with a tendency to move along Pennsyl
vania avenue and break in the House wing of
the CapitoL There- was a general rise in the
mean temperature tbere.butthe force caused a
low pressure area in the Senate end, with sta
tionary indications. ,
The Soutbside women who have been ad
vised to drink because their husbands do are
playing with fire water, and may get scalded.
They Are Not Cowards.
Conductors who may with you fight
Won't punch you unaware.
And, whether in the wrong or right.
Will try to knock down fare.
Wht is a bookkeeper. like a snake? Because
he's an adder.
The man who married one of tbe Woodhull
sisters is watching the force bill anxiously. He
knows it will affect Tennle C.
While Comstock's socloty was holding Its
annual meeting and landing themselves on the
work performed in the vice suppressing line.
New YorK's upper crust were whirling in
vicious frenzy at the French bait Sort of a
vice versa state of affairs, wasn't it?
Eveby time the murderer Bnaps his revolver
be breaks the law.
The politicians are inveterate policy players,
but the people are tiring of their system.
Why is a minister like a messenger boy? Be
cause he is forced to answer a calt
-The inflation of tbe Illinois air ship so far is
confined to the stock.
The psychical cranks are taking a spook
census. K Porter was in charge be would count
tbe tombstones and swear Jy them.
AN Allegheny husband battered his wife be
cause she couldn't cook to suit him. He has
cooked his own broth, figuratively speaking.
The Serpentine Walk.
If your heart is full of sorrow
Don't give up.
Nor fleeting snnshine borrow
From the cup
W hlch cheers but makes yon shaky
, In the morn,
Or produces visions snaky
Burets your born.
If Europe indulges in a war this year the
young German Emperor when he Teaches the
Rhine will doubtless exclaim: "No cross, no
crown."
The ConffrMJfonal Record will Boon be unfit
for publication.
IT the kings keep on slipping their cables
tbe foolish people who like royalty will soon be
ruled by petticoats.
Jail birds are never placed In golden cages,
Otero, tbe Spanish dancer, after the cham
pagne capers she indulged in at New York's
nangbty ball, should be called Otaro.
Why is a tugboat like a sprinter? Because
it tows a line. '
-
Missouri declines to pull down her Senator
ial Vest.
Chief Bioelow has some sweeping reforms
in hUjalnW eye, YTpj-ns yum
' WHERE BEAUTY DWELT.
Mrs. Wharton McKnight's Charming Enter
tainment Yesterday Afternoon The
Mansion Transformed Into a Conserva
tory With Profusion of Flowers
Many Ladlea'Present
The tea given yesterday afternoon by Mrs.
Wharton MoKnigbt was one ot tbe events of
this very brilliant season. The McEnlght
mansion on Beech street wai radiantly beauti
ful with flowers of every description. The
handsome drawing rooms were, metaphorically
speaking, purity Itself with flowers of pare
white relieved by delicate maiden-hair ferns.
The illy hyacinth, rose and fuchsia were taste
fully blended in banking the mantels and
festooning the mirrors, blooming also with
charming effect from costly roses and urns.
In tbe dining room pink was the prevailing
color of tbe decorations, fink carnations
formed tbe pretty candelabra shades, so much
in vogne at the present time, and were also
massed in great profusion on tbe buffet and
tables.
Tbe affair was eiven In honor of Miss Flor
ence McKnight, a sister of Mr. McKnlght, and
Miss Malin. of Philadelphia. Tbe hostess and
tbe two young ladles were attired In charming
creations of tbe modiste's art Mrs. McKnight
in a ligbt blue embroidered chiffon, Miss Mc
Knight in a delicate green crepe and Miss
Malin in a blue faille, trimmed with duchess
lace. The guests numbered about 800 of the
wealth and fashion of tbe city.
The ladles who assisted in receiving were,
Mrs. Harry Darlington, Mrs. Park Painter.
Mrs, James H. Painter. Mrs. A. Laueblin, Mrs
Walter McCord. Mrs. Dilwortb, Mrs. W. Sew
ell, Mrs. Barr. Mrs. Dr. Flemming, Mrs. A. D
Fell, Mrs. A. Lyon, Mrs. C. L Lyon, Mrs. Will
Km Thaw, Mrs. William Park, Mrs. Cook, Mrs
William Watson, Mrs. Christine C.Ihmsen:
Mrs. James B. McFadden. Mrs. Lide Mc.
Knight, of Sewickley; Mrs. S. Wharton, Miss
Mabel Hnssey, the Misses Eleanor and Annie
Cbalfant, tbe Misses Emallne and Florence
McKnight, Miss Mary Reed. Miss MaxweU and
Miss Carrie Hays.
In the evening a laree dinner party, to which
gentlemen were invited, crowned the festivi
ties of the day.
EHTEBTAIHING TOUHG FBIEHIJS.
Master Roy Camp Will Play the Part of
Host on Saturday to a Large Party.
"Roy Camp wishes you to come and have a
jolly good time with bim from 2 o'clock to 6
o'clock Saturday afternoon" run tbe cunning
little invitations which Master Roy will issue
to his numerous friends to-day. From the
prospects a jolly good time will be enjoyed, for
tbe appointments are to be of a high degree of
perfection. And though Snanlsh dancers are
not available in Pittsburg, to amuse, with their
grace and rythmical motion, the yontbful
merrymakers as they do in New York,
arrangements have been made with
Miss Kitty Hanna, tbe talented elocutionist,
to bo present and give several recitations
tended to please the little folks.
Tbe older ones also will be pleased, as tbe
respective mammas of tbe young guests will
lend their presence to the gayety. TbeCamo
mansion will be devoted to the youne folks.
The billiard table will be removed from Its ac
customed place, and the hall will become
an assembly room for dancing. Kuhn's
catering, Reymers' candy and exquisite little
souvenirs are also a part of the programme,
and should certainly satisfy any ordinary
child.
Master Roy is the young son of Mr. and Mrs.
T. L. Camp, and resides in a magnificent home
corner of Shady avenue and Marcband street
in the East End.
TOE THE BEW8B0YS' HOME.
An Entertainment Will Be Given To-Night
at Mrs. Charles Brown's House.
Tbe entertainment to be given to-night at tbe
charming home of Mrs. Charles Brown, on
Meyran street, by the Ladies' Mitten Club, Is to
be a very enjoyable affair, judging from the
"attractions booked," as theatrical announce
ments have it. Tbe Oakland Orchestra will be
in attendance, and charm tbe silver out of the
pockets of tbe guests bv its sweet strains.
Miss Margaret A. Crouch will assist in.the
good work, for tbe proceeds are to be devoted
to the Newsboys' Home fund. Rblnehart
Meyer, W. C. McCausland, Miss Nona Hill and
Miss Lillian Burkbardt will also appear during
tbe evening. Miss Sellers Is tbe directress, and
the officers of this philanthropic club are Miss
Eccles, President: Mrs. George B. More, Secre
tary and Mrs. M. J. Backslace, Treasurer.
This concert is but one feature of the good
work undertaken by the club.
FE0M HISS TO UBS.
A Tonne Lady Who Changed Her Name
and Yet Did Not.
"Change the name and not 'tho letter, is a
change'f or worse and not for better." is an old
adage. Miss Sarah McElroy, however, defeated
tho mystic potency of the saw by being a princi
pal in a wedding ceremony last evening In
which she simply changed her name trom Miss
to Mrs. Tbe letters of her surname remain
tbe same, and she is now Mrs. William Mc
Elroy. The marriage took place at Mrs. Alexander's
home at Copeland station. Tbe young couple
are both former Allegbenians, and have
numerous friends in the city.
RECEIVED A LABGE CEOWD.
The Ladies' Aid Society Entertain Church
Folk In the East Street Lutheran Church.
A happy scene was presented in tbe Memorial
Evangelical Lutheran Church, on East street
Allegheny, last evening. Tbe Ladies' Aid Soci
ety were the hostesses to a decidedly large re
ception of church folk.
bupper was served from S o'clock to 10 p. jr.
in the Sunday schoolroom, and the ciowds of
people found everything tbat was delicious and
appetising upon the bountifully spread tables.
Humane Society Managers.
In tho report of tbe Board of Managers
elected by tbe Humane Society, one class was
omitted. The board for the present year con
sists of Messrs John H. McCreery, Joel Kerr,
H. Lee Mason, Jr., James H. Lockhart, S. L.
Fieishmann. Mrs. Samuel McKee. Mrs. Dr.
Wallace. Mrs. H. Lee alasnn. Mr. E. M. Butz,
Mrs. John Dnnlap. Mrs. Judge Magee. Mrs. S.
S. Carrier. Mr. Peter Young. Mrs. E. J. Mc
Fherson, Mrs. Judge Stowe, James JL. Cravens,
Samuel W. Black and Mrs. A. C. Duncan.
Social Chatter.
The recular montly meeting of tbo Women's
United Presbyterian Association will beheld
to-morrow afternoon in tha Wylle Avenue U.
P. Church.
AMU3IOAL and literary entertainment will
be given at the German Reformed Presbyterian
Church to-night.
If r. and Mrs. J. J. Porter hold their first
at home" to-day at their residence, on Stock
ton avenne. '
Mrs. Fahnestock, of North avenue, re
ceives this afternoon.
Mr. and Mrs. Cromluh, of Center avenue,
will receive to-night
THE recentlon at Mrs. R. G. Woods to-day.
OVIDE MUSIN at Old City Hall to-night,
A Fit of Post-Mortem Glee.
Detroit Free Press,
Tbat tbe cadaver which was recently found In
an alley near the Michigan College of Medicine
was not misused by any of tbe students of tbat
Institution, but simply leaped from the window
in a fit of post-mortem glee, will be pleasant
news. It is always agreeable to be assured of
the good behavior of students.
PLAYS TO COKE,
THE Kendals, who are to visit tbe BIJon
next week, are the most notable actors England
has sent us In recent years. Mrs. Kendal
especially is a wonderful woman, and for 20
years almost has divided with Ellen Terry the
bouorot being the best beloved and most dis
tinguished actress in England. Their visit to
this city promlsesto be a great success in every
way, for the advance sale Is already very large.
Tbe Kendals will be seen bere in "The Iron
master" on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday
nights, ."A Scrap of Paper" on lbursaay ana
Friday nights, and on Saturday night "The
Queen's Shilling." .
AFTER a long and apparently triumphant
tour of the country, George C. Jenks' "U. S.
Mail" will return to this city next week, when
it will be played attne Grand Opera House.
At present It is playing to crowded houses at
Hammersteln's Opera House, New York. The
piece. It will be remembered, is a broad farce
with no end ot musical ornaments and dancing
galore one dance, by the way, being a new
Spanish cachuca, in which Miss Georgia Parker
shines brightly. Tbe comedy In tbe "U. S.
Mail" is in the bands of excellent actors, and
laugbterby the carload is virtually guaranteed.
II ALLEN and Hart in tbe plotless absurdity,
"Later On," are tbe attractions promised for
the Duquesne Theater next week. Several
good comedians and a bevy of bright and pretty
girls are premised with' the farce, which has
been making a bit at the Standard Theatar.-
New York, from whence it cornea directly here.
THE TOPICAL TALKER.
Fair China Painters.
China painting has been growing steadily and
latterly very fast in this vicinity. For a long
time I was puzzled to know what attracted
young women, mostly in fashionable attire, to a
rather dingy store in a by-street The show
windows had generally nothing more seductive
tban a few pieces of white cblna In them, but
all tbe same irom morn till night a procession
of fair customers passed in and out of the store.
Recently I discovered tbat all these women
were amateur painters of cblna who brought
their work to the store to be burned. This
gave me some clew to the largo proportions of
the china-painting cult, it it may be so called,
in these parts.
'Ten years ago, I am informed, one kiln was
equal to all the china burnlngrequired here, and
as a rule not more than one burning a week was
necessary. Tbe bnslncss was easily monopolized
by one man, and be did not seem likely to get
rich on it. Now there are four or five china
burning establishments and in addition proba
bly a dozen private kilns operated by the china
painters themselves. At the largest place in
the two cities half a dozen kilns are kept
going all tbe time, and as about fifty pieces on
tho average can be burned in each of these
kilns at one time, it can be realized what a
mighty output of band-painted china there is
in this county. On a sinele day just before
Christmas over ttVo hundred cups and saucers
were burned at a Pittsburg store.
There is no way of finding out bow many
amateur china painters there are to-day In the
two cities, but there must be many hundreds of
them. Under the term amateur I include those
who sell their work, but wbo are not connected
witb any factory or store. Some of these Inde
pendent women hare built up a regular and
ever-Increasing private trade in china ware of
their painting, and I know of one artist who
filled no less than 100 separate orders for deliv
ery last Christmas. At present women have a
real monopoly of the art outside ot the china
making and decorating factories, and a very
beantiful and, it is pleasant to add, profitable
pursuit It is for tbem. It Is no longer an unu
sual thing to find tbe entire stock of china
decorated by tbe mistress of the bonse, and by
tbe time tbe next generation of Pittsburgers
is grown up hand-painted china will rather be
the rule than the exception upon our tables.
Put Down the Enemy. t
An Irishman went into a restaurant in the
Diamond the other dayto get dinner. As an ap
petiser he ordered a glass ot whisky. Just as he
was raising the glass to bis lips his parish priest
touched him on the shoulder and said: "Tim,
tbat the worst ememy you have."
"Yes, your reverence," replied Tim, "but how
often have yon told me to love my enemies,"
and the whisky disappeared.
Good Carvers Are Scarce.
"How do you account for the scarcity of good
carvers?" I asked a matron yesterday.
"Laziness of the men." she replied.
But seriously, it Is a fact that a good carver
is a rare bird in this latitude. .Not one man in
ten can carve even a plain joint as It should be
done, and when It comes to cutting up a turkey
or smaller birds the percentage of failures,
comparative and absolute, is even greater.
Why is this? Our fathers were able to handle
the carving knife with dexterity, and even a
tough duck did not dannt them. It will never
do for us to confess tbat we are not as goqd as,
if not better than, our fathers, but it is clear
nevertheless that the art of carvisg, the art
mind you. Is dying out. I take it tbat our
fathers are often responsible for this, because
they keep on carving till death cuts them
down, instead of handing over tbe head of the
table with its carving responsibilities to their
sons in succession. This seems to be the only
explanation aside from the one foreigners are
so prone to allege that Americans are so much
given to abiding in hotels and boarding houses
tbat they are more and more losing tbe accom
plishments and graces which are born of and
adom home life. And tbe peculiar disgrace of
tbe masculine ineotness ltn tbe knife is tbat
man's better half most ot the time can carve
all around him, so to speak.
A Fireman's Perils.
"I haven't seen anything in the papers," said
a well-known AUeghenlan yesterday, "about a
little Incident of tbe. Federal-street fire last
week which might have made tbat unfortunate
event a disaster of far larger dimensions. I was
"standing In the crowd watching the fire when I
learned tbat a quantity of gunpowder was
stored in McKnight's store. 1 lost uotime in
telling tbe firemen and generally spreading the
information among the spectators. The fire
men and others located the powder and carried
it out in safety, and the crowd kept a more re
spectful distance while tbls dangerous work
was being done. How much powder there was
I don't know some say 500 pounds but too
much for comfort anyhow.'
At a fire in Jamestown. N. Y-, a few days ago
a young clerk in a handware store acted heroic
ally under very similar circumstances. Tbe fire
was well underway and cartridges were pop
ping about in a most unpleasant fashion, when
tbe clerk remembered tbat a large keg ot
powder was at tbe back of the store. He ran
into the store and, through the smoke and
fusillade of bullets, brought out the keg: This
act averted a terrible explosion, and Charlie
Fitch, the boy who did It, is ricntly called a
hero. By the way, he has relations here.
Pity the Fallen Millionaire I
"Terrible thing the way the Biowtons have
suffered since old Blowton failed," said a lady
to me yesterday.
"I haven't heard much about It," I replied,
"except tbat the failure is a matter of millions.
Are they in a hard way r"
"Hard way? Well, I should say so. They've
bad to sell their city mansion and the cottage
at Newport, and tbe yacht and nearly every
thing they had."
"What are they going to do ?"
"I hear they mean to buy a small house in
the suburbs and economize. Bella tells me she
expects to have to get along witb two servants,
and do ber own marketing in town."
Ohl that's too dreadful." x
And then such harrowing details of fallen
fortune were revealed as cannot be laid before
an unfeeling world bere. It Is truly an awful
thing to come down from a dozen millions to a
beggarly pittance, say, of $5,000 a year.
Very Cautious Indeed.
Even at this late day natural gas Is a mystery
to some people.
A church visitor, in the course of her charita
ble labors among the poor of this great town,
found a woman who was in great distress be
cause ber husband was out of work. Tbe
visitor suggested tbat he should apply at the
officoof a certain natural gas company where
laborers wero wanted.
"Sure an' I won't do no such thing," was the
woman's reply: "do ye be thlnkin' that I want
to lose me good man? Sure an' tbat natural gas
is so dangerous I don't want him to be a-cir-ryin'
it around, ma'amr"
BAGGAGEMEN IN COUNCIL.
They Meet to Discuss Matters Connected
With Their Calling.
New Orleans, Jan. 2t The tenth annual
convention ot the National Association of Gen
eral Baggage Agents met here this afternoon,
and there were about 100 delegates present.
The meetings will be held with closed doors.
Officers will be elected for tbe ensuing year
and tbe following matters discussed.
first To seenre a uniformity of rates on ex
cess baggage, to provide a method of handling
ana caring for excess baggage, and tbe adop
tion ni a uniform excess baggage and C. O. D.
Second To provide a uniform method and a
basis of settling claims for delay, damage and
pilfering of baggage while en route.
Third To adopt a telegraph code for the pur
pose of abbreviating the telegraph messages
from point to point, which are necessary in the
business and which have now reached huge
proportions.
HEBBABKA PABMEBS CAUTIOUS.
They Wish Other States to Co-Operate in
Reducing Interest Rates.
Lincoln, Jan. 2L A resolution was adopted
by the House to-day that a committee ot three
be appointed to correspond with the Legisla
tures ot Kansas. Nortn and South Dakota,
Minnesota and Colorado for the purpose of se
curing an agreement by those States on a com
mon rate of interest, as low as may be practica
ble.' - .
The reasons cited for this action are that it
might be injurious for a single State to attempt
a lower rate of interest without tbe concur
rence of others, as the meney power would con
centrate Itself upon that State, and bv with
drawing loans make the law obnoxious and se
cure Its repeat -
CURIOUS C0NDESSAT102TS. -
It costs 64 cents to run a train a mile in
England.
Telephones are now being introduced om
board men-of-war.
The daily surplus of births over deaths
in tbe United'KIngdoni is 1,600.
It costs the Government $250,000 a year
to print the Congressional Record.
Leather covered frames are now the
favorite inclosures for photographs.
At present nine American women are
matrimonially engaged to titled foreigners.
The largest peach orchard in the world
is at Blownwood, Tex., which contains 11,0(X)
trees.
Cork, if sunk 20 feet in the ocean, will
not rise, on account of the pressure ot the
water.
Manitoba flour is quoted at 2 per
barrel higher In Washington State than tbe
borne product.
Mr. Theodore Calf and family have peti
tioned the Kansas Lezislature to have their
name changed.
' An Oswego man has bought 20,000
buhels of potatoes in Perth, Ont.. for the
Philadelphia market
Capitalists who have the. money pro
pose to spend $60,000,000 in nnder-river and
underground railroads in Gotham.
The Michigan crop report states that
wheat is in good condition generally, with but
few frozen places for lack of snow.
"Whisky labeled "shoepegs" has been
seized in quantity on tbe premises of Bootseller
W. R. Dye. at Parkersburg. W. Va.
Ada Gray, of Cincinnati, is 'the only
colored lady dentist" in the United States. She
is said to be quite skilful in her profession.
Mrs. Sarah E. TJrle pays JSOO.OOO to
Mrs. Matthew Baird as the price of the Has
tings property, at Spring Lake Beach, N. J.
I. L. Purcell, a well-known .colored
lawyer ot Palatka. Fla.. was admitted to the
Supremo Court in Tallahassee on January 11.
It is said a society has been formed in
Southwestern Kansas by farmers for protec
tion against loan and investment companies.
L. G. Brooker, ofScotts Bluffs county,
Neb., found a pair of Texas homs the other
day, which measured 5 feet 9 inches from tip to
tip.
The late Dnke of Bedford's income was
over 300.000 a year. He was the richest man
in the peerage, except the Duke ot Westmin
ster. The colored man, Prof. Carter, in
charge of the Colored State Seminary at Tal
lahassee, Fla, is the grandson of an African
King.
A cat owned by Farmer Dykeman, of
Benton. Lackawanna county. Pa., attacked a
fox and rode on Reynard's back for a dozen
yards.
After February 1 the "curfew" ordi
nance will be enforced in Vancouver, Wash.,
and all boys on the street after 8 v. jl, will be
arrested.
There is great anxiety in Ottawa over
the attitude Sir John Macdonaldis likely to
take on the question of reciprocal trade with
the United States.
Friday morning some dastardly fiend
put poison into Wert WIckham's welt near
Battle Creek, Mich. Three horses drank and
died an hour later.
The St Petersburg Novot Vremya an
nounces that Russia has Issued her last 4 per
cent loan, and that in future Russian loans will
be issued at 3 per cent.
Spokane Falls has grown'rapidly since
tbe fire of a year ago. Tbe population then was
18,000, and the recent census gives tbe town 32,
000. Seattle bas about M.OOOpeople.
The smallpox scare in Savannah, Ga.,
is growing daily. Tho negroes are especially
frightened. Everyone In town is anxious to be
vaccinated and virus is at a premium.
There were 937 buildings erected last
year In Montreal, of a total value of $3,308,608,
a falling off of DO buildings and $299,890 in
value as compared with the previous year.
This beats the record. A woman at
Bennington, Mich.," two years ago, gave birth
to twins, a year ago paralyzed the record with
triplets, and now twins again seven children
in two years.
There is news or a serious Anarchist
plot at Leghorn, where, on Saturday, several
dynamite cartridges were exploded simul
taneously in tbe Immediate vicinity of a
number of wealthy residents.
The authorities of the British Museum
have discovered among a collection ot papyrus
rolls the text of Aristotle's treatise on the
Constitution ot Athens, which has hitherto
only been known in detached fragments.
Two French doctors, acting on the fact
that the goat is not subject to consumption,
recently injected tbe blood ot one of those
animals into tbe veins of two consumptive
patients, it is said, with the most satisfactory
results.
Martin Grinning, of Surprise, Neb.,
chonped a red elm tree down for Mr. Ezra
Paisley tbe other day that measured 13X
feet in circumference at the base. Martin
claims the tree is over 100 years old and badly
scarred by Indians with their tomahawks.
Oneida township in Kearney county,
says the Omaha Berald, lndulzed in a grand
wolf bunt recently. An army of men and boys
witb guns and pitchforks marched halt a day,
uttering unearthly yells; they finally me: in
Ball's pasture and surrounded two jack rab
bits. Ten years ago a Detroit man was killed
in Rio de Janeiro. His body was embalmed
and placed in a vault. Two years afterward
tbe remains were sbipped to Gowanus, Long
Island, and buried in a cemetery. In 188S they
wero taken up and expressed to Santa Barbara,
Cah. and last week the body was sent thence to
Quebec.
Eugene Davis, of East Saginaw, Mich.,
has arrived at Butte, Mon. He claims to be
tbe only legitimate son of the late A. J. Davis,
wbo died bere a year ago, worth $15,000,000.
Mrs. A. J. Davis, Eugene's mother, keeps a
saloon at East Saginaw. She claims she was
married to tbe Montana millionaire half a
century ago in Maine. About 1830 they moved
to Iowa, and a few years after Davis deserted
her.
JUST FOR FUN.
A French physician has declared in favor
ora "good cry." He says that groaning and cry
ing during a surgical operation brings down the
pulseaad benefits the patient. When man has
refused his wife r orS30 for shopping, a "good
cry1 bas Drought down her husband. If not bar
pulse, and she is correspondingly benefited.
Horristouin. Herald.
It's a very cold day when the most of men
And the quicker the older they get
Who think for a while what chumps they've been.
Can't soon get into a sweat. Oil City Slissard.
Heeler Don't you think I deserve a Gov
ernment job?
Statesman Yes, I do. You ought to be making
stoves at Sing Slng.-itf.
"It seems," said an old-fashioned lady to
the very modern girt "that there are a good many
bluffs Id the part of the country where the Indian
light took place?"
"Yes." replied tbe m. g., eonndently, "but
our soldiers called them right along." Washing
ton Post.
Kid March and J. J. Fanning have
signed with the Tacomas for next season. We
have had a remarkably fine winter. XesUrdsy
was winter's half-way house, and hers 1 a con
tract signed to have March and Fanning at the
same time. Spokane Spokesman.
Mr. Guzzleton Ton seemed to be much
moved by the performance.
Mrs. Guzzleton-Notsomuehasyouwere. Ion
moved out at the end of every xctl-Judgt.
"I wonder why a blind snake was selected
to bite Sara Bernhard when sheplays Cleopatra,"
remarked Mrs. Bansom.
'Because no one would expect a snake with
eyesight to bite a bone," replied Ransom Cat
capo Inter-Oeean.
The ghost shirt is all right as a relic, but
there is no denying that war paint u the most
popular Sioux veneer. -Omaha VfoTld-UtraUt.
Tommy Did you do much fighting dur
ing the war, pa?
Fa I did mr share of It Tommy.
Tommy Did you make tbeenemy run?
pa You're right I did, Tommy.
Tommy Did they ketch you, pa? Bosto
Courier.
If our old friend "Constant Reader," who
who so often bobs In sight.
Should live np to his nom de plnme, be'd have bo
time to write. Indianapolis Journal.
Fair shopper "What is tbe difference be
tween these two pieces of goods?
Clerk-One Is marked higher tban the other.
"Yes: but what U the real difference between
them?" , "iej.
"liust toldyou-a marked difference." Sutaw
Jpru,. .v.
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