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THE PITTSBTIRGr DISPATCH,. "WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 24, 1890.
Ifje Bigpaftfj.
ESTABLISHED FEBRUARY 8, 1S46.
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PITTSBURG. WEDNESDAY, DEC. 24, lS9a
THE HOLIDAY BUYING.
The leading thought in the mind of the
average man and woman just at present is
Christmas shopping. The better half of the
world gives more time and thought to the
actnal work of holiday purchases than the
masculine element; but both haYe been
crowding the stores and burdening the mails
and express companies for the last two or
three dajs with the results of their shopping
and the concrete expressions of their pood
will and wishes for the enjoyment of their
friends which is appropriate to the season.
The holiday trade is always to be taken as
a measure of the prosperity- of the masses.
In that light the Christmas business of this
year is gratifying, not only as promising a
merry Christmas for the Yast majority, but
as a proof that the people at large are in a
prosperous condition with an unusual
supply of money for the kindly expendi
tures of the season. The crowds that
have filled the stores from morning till the
late hours when the larger houses suspend,
have been greater than ever before
known; and the actual returns of the sales
so far as observed surpass previous experi
ence. One of the leading retail houses of
the city reported on Monday night that its
day's trade was the largest it had ever had;
and other firms could doubtless duplicate
the statement. Whether Tuesday's and
"Wednesday's trade will exceed that of
Monday or cot, it is beyond question that
this season's Christmas shopping will be in
excess of anything that our city has known
heretofore.
Tnis is the legitimate result of the growth
and prosperity of the city. Pittsburg has
now enjoyed a long period of steady activity,
in which labor has had plenty of employ
ment and good wages, lieyond that the
actual increase of population contributes to
swell the cumber of purchasers and amount
of buying. The fact that the holiday trade
is the largest of our city's experience fur
nishes at once the measure and proof of the
gratifying fact that the people at large are
enjoying the highest prosperity; that what
ever may be the condition of money in the
banks there is plenty in the hands of the
people; and that all the factors ate present
which will mak.; to-morrow a merrt Christ
mas for the mass cf our peopK
FINANCIAL LEGISLATION.
Sbermau's financial relief bill was made
the subject of a proposed amendment yes
terday, providing for the issue of $200,000,
000 of temporary bonds, redeemable after
July 1, 181)1. If this amendment is in
tended as a rider to ride the bill to death its
author makes a very good calculation.
Tee avowed purpose of the bill is to secure
immediate relief from the existing strin
gency by letting money out into the chan
cels of trade. The alleged necessity for it is
that the Government has co outstanding
bonds which it can call in and pay out
money in return. Yet this amendment pro
poses an issue of bonds, the sale of which
would withdraw money from trade chancels
and tie it up in the Treasury until the bonds
were called in again.
Some Senators have very queer ideas of
finance, but in this case the amendment
must be looked upon as a rider intended to
defeat the original bill. From present ap
pearances there may be so much delay in
Teaching the whole matter that the finances
of the country will come right from inher
ent powers and render legislative interfer
ence wholly unnecessary. It will probably
be fortunate if this is the case. There is too
much tendency toward legislative tinkering
with the business interests of the country at
all timer.
MORE RAILROADS FOIt F1TTSBUBG.
Unless all signs fail, Pittsburg will have
greatly increased railroad facilities before
Chnstmastide next year. News from Balti
more indicates that arrangements have been
completed for a Pennsylvania Railroad
connection with "West Virginia and Vir
ginia, using the "West Virginia Central as a
connecting link. This road would make
tributary to this city a region rich in unde
veloped and partially developed resources.
At the same time the Baltimore and Ohio
will provide a direct line into "West Vir
ginia, by building a connection from
Brownsville to Morgantown. This line will
penetrate part of the same region as that
aimed at by the Pennsylvania system. It ie
certain that if one of these roads is built the
other must be, and both have been very
active of late.
A JUDICIAL AFFOINTMENT.
The President has found a peculiar way
of getting out of the dilemma which was
presented by the apparent choice between
law-partner Miller and his ha,ted rival
Gresham. He has cut the Gordiau knot by
appointing Brown, of Michigan, to the Su
preme Bench of the United States.
"While the President escapes the horns of
one dilemma by this step, it is not certain
that be has not impaled himself on one ot
the sharp points afforded by another. In the
absence of this especial Brown from any of
the lists of prominent men within our reach,
and even under the temporarily distressing
doubt whether the new Justice belongs to
the great Brown family, or to the more se
lect race of Browne, there is a grave ques
tion whether the President has not commit
ted a discrimination which will alienate the
great family of Smiths. At the present
writing we know no reason why Brown, of
Michigan, should have received prefer
ment over Smith, of Illinois or "Wisconsin.
The early information concerning the new
occupant of the Supreme Bench states his
qualifications for that eminent position to
consist of the fact that lie has had a large
number of cases before the Supreme Court
and married a wealthy wile. But is it pos
sible that none of the Smiths can duplicate
those recommendations?
THE CLOTURE AGATN.
Another threat to apply the cloture has
been made in the Senate. This time it may
mean something. But it is probable it will
end in a threat as it began. It is desired, of
course, by the friends of the elections bill to
bring that measure to a vote. -The question
is only whether they hare the power to do it.
On the Republican, side there are so many
opponents to the bill that its failure is
almost certain when it does come to a vote,
and it is doubtful if any of these Repub
licans will help Mr. Aldrich to apply the
cloture. The move is in the nature of a big
"boo" to scare off the Democratic speech
making.
LINEAGE AND THE CARICATURISTS.
Mr. T. C. Crawford, whose abilities as a
"Washington correspondent are only rivaled
by his wildness on political and social ques
tions, has lately undertaken to read the
caricaturists a lecture. Lecturing the
caricaturists is about as arduous a task as
holding a controversy with a newspaper;
and even if Mr. Crawford had undertaken to
correct the caricaturists on some of their
manifest faults, he might well be warned of
the consequences of his indiscretion. But
as the particular point which Mr. Crawford
makes is th'at the pictorial sentry are es
pecially scurrilous in making lun of tbose
who claim position as the representatives of
an especial ancestry, his method of areu
ment is calculated to throw public opinion
to the side of the caricaturists.
The particular offense of the picture
makers which has aroused Mr. Crawford's
ire is their representation of President
Harrison as an exceedingly small specimen of
humanity under a very large "grandfather's
hat" This Mr. Crawford regards as an ex
ceedingly wanton disposition to revile tbose
who are the proud possessors of lineage, and
to deery the prominence of any man who
happens to enjoy the inherited light of an
illustrious grandfather. Such an awful at
tack 'upon the sacred subject of Family
Pride is not to be tolerated by Mr. Craw
ford, and he pursues the wicked caricature
makers with an avalanche of denunciation,
winding up by an expression of Mr. Craw
ford's opinion that the men who come of
eminent descent have exclusive claims to re
spect, as follows:
If the garret-bred artists temporarily trans
planted from a foreign soil think that it is an
Ignoble and despicable thing to have a distin
guished father, they may bo ablo to carry the
point at which they are evidently aiming, -and
that is to push to the front rank or high estoem
and attention the men whose fathers are ab
solutely unknown to any one.
"With regard to the inspiring cause of Mr.
Crawford's deatribe, whether the overween
ing size of the grandfather's bat, or the
especially small dimensions of the actual
man, are the most pertinent points, will re
main a matter of individual opinion. But
that there is any general disposition to give
unjust treatment to men because they are the
descendants of illustrious paientage, is not
correct. Indeed, there have been distinct in
dications to the contrary ia some case, and
we suppose that Mr. Crawford's manifesto is
intended 'o forbid any departure from the
rule of awarding public preferment on the
score of descent. Colonel Fred Grant, who
is a somewhat conspicuous example of dis
ability, has been awarded high position
simply on the score of his father's memory.
Mr. Robert Lincoln, whose amiabl-. and
estimable reputation has not at all been
uiminishe-t by his misplaced trust in Mr.
Andrews, of this State, has nevertheless been
given preferment far beyond what was indi
cated by any achievement of his own solely
on the record of bis paternity. Not to en
large on such additional cases of inherited
prominence as Russell B. Harrison, the
younger Cameron or our own Dick Quay,
the further fact should be noted that there is
co disposition to make fun of the ancestry of
men who occupy prominent places by reason
of their own ability. No caricature has
ever placed a grandfather's hat on any of
the Adams family, or Secretary Hamilton
Pish, or Messrs. Bayard, Hoar, Freling
huysen or "Wade Hampton. In this respect
the opinion has clearly prevailed that the
man who has ancestry is just as good as the
man who has not, and co better.
But this is what Mr. Crawford 'will not
allow. He evinces very plainly his con
viction that "garret-bred artists" are n
nferior race who have co privilege of criti
cising men of lineage, and he reaches the
most astonishing development of his idea in
representing as a subsersive result of their
labors that they may "push to the front
rank of high esteem and attention the men
whose fathers are absolutely unknown to
anyone." This would be a decided revolu
tion if it were not necessary to speak of it in
the past tease. There is a distinct impres
sion that the Government founded by such
men as. Franklin, Hancock, the first Adams,
and the "embattled farmers" generally, ex
ists for that very purpose. It would be a
somewhat interesting query where, cot ocly
this country, but some of the men who now
get preferment by virtue of their parentage,
would have been if the principle of equality
had not allowed men whose lineage was so
obscure as that of Lincoln and Grant to say
nothing of Andrew Jackson, Daniel "Web
ster, Henry "Wilson, and James A. Gar
field to come to "the front rank of high es
teem and attention."
REAR COLUMN KEDITTYUS.
Publication of the Jameson diary, to
gether with the passionate preface by the
dead man's brother, is calculated to reopen
the rear column controversy with more vin
dictiveness than ever. The younger Jame
son makes broad charges against Stanley
and Bonny, and defends his brother's honor
with vigor. Of course, Stanley and Bonny
will reply and "Ward may join in again. It
has been given out pretty strongly that
Stanley would take the matter into the
courts, where it can be sifted to the bottom.
This course is advisable. It is the only way
an end can be put to the wrangle which
the world is becoming weary of.
The action of the State Grange in advo
cating the doubling of the State appropriation
for common school purposes, is referred to by
the Philadelphia Times as an example of the
facility with which 'too many tax measures"
are produced. It is true that a State in the
happy position of being ready to wipe out its
debt two years hence, is likely to observe a re
markable facility in the production of new
methods for spending its revenue. It will be
hard, however, to find one that is likely to yield
better results than this one. There is co
sounder investment for the public funds than
to put them into tho increase of popular intelli
gence. i
The tenor of the Hon. Theodore Roose
velt's recent remarks, show that, if he outlives
tho task of reforming the civil service, he
might be given the opportunity to crown his
career by reforming tho fashionable society of
New York.
The statement attributed to Congressman
Cannon that "we are rapidly approaching the
point where we will have to be careful about
Incurring unnecessary obligations" Is not to
be objected to in its future application. But
the evident infereuco that we have been at the
point where it was not necessary to be careful
about Incurring unnecessary obligations, seems
to be one. which, if it was ever entertained by
our Congressional leaders, ought to have been
thoroughly cured by the recent elections.
Goyeenok RussEix.of Massachusetts.is
reported to bo utilizing his office by turning out
titles at a rata which denotes a heroic intention
to make the supply of Massachusetts Colonels
equal to that of the Kentucky variety.
There is considerable force in the as
sertion of some Democratic cotemporarles,
that if either Harrison or Blaine intends to bo
the Republican candtdate in 1S92. the Hearing's
Sea dispute should be settled before that time.
The administration cannot afford to leave a
matter which Is so easily settled on the prin
ciple ot fair arbitration, undisposed of through
out its entire term.
As the dispatches of yesterday afternoon
report the arrest of one Indian Messiah and
the discovery of another, it is safe to conclude
that there has been an overproduction of false
prophets on the Western plains.
It is now an interesting question whether
Keeley will get his "sympathetic vibration."
which was to famish the power for aerial navi
gation into working order first, or whetber.the
Illinois inventor will get his airship started
without it. It might not surprise the world
very much if neither happens to materialize
very much before the other.
SNOWSTOBMS,and cold waves may come
and go; but the holiday shopping rolls on with
an unchecked boom up to the latest reports.
THE'fact that there are now two cities of
the second class, is alleged by some of the local
politicians to "mix matters badly." This may
be explained to mean, that there is a prospect
that the constitutional provision forbidding
special legislation will now actually forbid it.
The ballots of the anti-Parnellites proved
to be more effective in retiring Farnell ,tban
their mud or lime missiles.
The intention of Senator George, of Mis
sissippi to edify the Senate with a speech in
which be will explain the new Mississippi Con
stitution, should attract attention and sym
pathy. It will be a gallanf effort to exponnd
the inexplicable.
rSTEBESTING PEBSONALITIES.
Francis IL, the King of Naples, whom
Garibaldi overthrew, is living in exile in Paris.
Mrs. Jefferson Davis and her daughter
Winnie are in New York stopping at the New
York Hotel.
Mrs. Blaine is the tallest ot the ladies of
the cabinet and Mrs. Noble the shortest, the
latter being only five feet in height.
Mrs. John Drew has been on tho stage 63
years, having made ber first appearance in 1827
as the little "Dnke of York" in "Richard III."
The condition of P. T. Barnum is much im
proved, and his friends are beginning to be
more hopeful. He rests mors easier and takes
considerable food.
Vice President Bryan, of the Local
World's Fair Association of Chicago, an
nounces that he will accept only 6,000 of the
salary of 512,000 that was voted him.
Whittier is fond of pets. Ho has three
handsome dogs, two cats and three horses.
When the poet goes abroad in pleasant weather
a young St. Bernard dog ia his constant com
panion. Ellen Terry's son is a handsome young
fellow of 20, who wears spectacles and has hair
that looks like his mother's. He plajsthe part
of a younger brother to ms mother in "Ravens
wood," and is said to play it well.
Georoe Alfred Townsesd and wife cele
brated their silver wedding at their seat of
Gapland, South Mountain, McL, 1.100 reet ab -e
mankind, last Sunday, both gulltles1. of gray
hairs and with several grandchild. en.
Gznerat. Joe Shelby, the confederate
cavalry leade.-. appeared in St. Louis the oth .
ay and score? of his old comrades in arm
flocked to his hotel to greet him. He is en
tirely out of politics and is living quietly on his
farm, reappearing bnt rarely in the cities.
Senator Stewart, of Nevada, who refuses
to swallow Senator Hoar's force bill argu
ments, is niarne I to the daughter of the famous
Senator Foot, of Mlsslssipp , so prominent in
Cougressionat debates before the war. Mr.
Stewart can talk long and to the point hen he
gets warmed up.
Baron Nordenskjold, tho Swedish ex
plorer and a recognized authority on Green
land, has written a letter to Prof. Horsford,
of Cambridge, in which he expresses full ac
cord, with his vieivs that the Norsemen fre
quently and numerously visited the American
continent and formed an clement in the race
mixture hero.
Paul Hamilton Welch, son of the late
Phillip II. Welch, the humorist, has just re
covered from a dangerous attack of typhoid
fever. Paul is the eldest of the four children
in whose behalf "The Welch Memorial. Fund"
of about $26,000 was raised, as a tribute to the
remarkable heroism displayed by their father
during the lingering and painful Illness which
endedin his death February 21, 18?9.
A H0BM0N WIFE'S STATUS.
Important Decision by tho Supreme Court
in a Polygamy Case.
Washington, Dec. 23. The Supreme Court
ot tbe.Ucited States to-day renaored an im
portant decision in a Mormon polygamy case,
holding that a wife Is not a competent witness
against the husband where polygamy is the
crime charged. William E. Bassett was in 1SS6
found guilty of polygamy on the testimony of
his first wife, from whom he had been divorced
after he took a second wife. The former wife's
testimony was the only evidence produced, and
it was upon her testimony that Bassett's con
viction was secured. He took an appeal to the
Supreme Court of Utah, contending that the
wile's testimony was not properly admissible,
and when the Territorial Court decided against
him brought the case here. The court reverses
the decision of the Territorial court, and holds
that the wife was an incompetent witness. In
its opinion, prepared by Justice Brewer, the
Court sajs: "Tho question presented is not
how much she (the wife) feels or suffers (by
reason of the plural marriage), but whether the
crime is one against her. Polygamy aDd
adultery may be crimes which involve disloy
alty to the marital relation, but they are rather
crimes against such relation than against the
wife; and as the statute (the Edmunds-Tucker
Anti-Polygamy Act) under which the man was
tried, sneaks of crimes against her, it is Blmply
an affirmation of the old common law rule,
that a wife cannot testify against the husband.
The case was remanded to the Utah courts,
with directions to grant a new trial."
As Others See Us.
Chicago Trlbune.1
Allegheny, Pa., has been promoted to the
position of a city of the second class, and Pitts
burg again bids it to come in out of the wet on
the score of economy. Allegheny would do
well to comply. The two cities are practically
one already.
. . .
Very Naturally.
Washington Post. ;
Very naturally the English and Russian
humanitarians express the greatest disgust
over the manner in which our Government
persecutes the Indians and Mormons.
DEATHS OF A DAY.
Nathan F. Barnham, Inventor.
YORK, Pa., Dec. 2S. Nathan F. Vurnham, one
of York's most prominent citizens, died-Yesterday,
lie was well known throughout the United
States from his Inventions, which gave himlnuch
promlnenco andenabled him tb accumulate alarge
fortune. lie was born In New York Citr. March
12, 182. lie learned the trade of millwright, and
came to this city In 1839. Mr. Burnham engaged
In the manufacture and selling of French tnrblne
water wheels since 1856. and was the inventor and
patentee of several which are used In all parts of
the world.
Rev. James Black.
Wooster, Dec. 23 Key. James Black, D. D.,
LU. D.. formerly President of the Pittsburg Fe
male College, died here this morning, at the ago
of 63 years. Dr. iflack was Professor of Lan
guages at W ooster University. He was a class
mate or tlic lion. James (. Blaine, at Washing
ton and Jefferson College, Washington, Pa.
John B. Trevor, Broker.
NewYOBK, Dec. 13. The death of John B.
Trevor, who hat been a member, of the Stock Ex
change since January 15, 1850, and a partner
with Mr. J. B. Colgate for years, hasjust been announced.
SNAP SHOTS IN SEASON.
Dress skirts can be full, but the wearer
should never be.
Do you over think about the mind market?
You undoubtedly pay some attention to the
source of the daily food supply, but it is
quite safe to say you do not dwell fre
quently or long upon the mind sup
ply. What a, voracious glutton the mind is,
to be sure. It feeds on everything, too. The
daintiest morsel and the coarsest, heaviest and
most indigestible stuffs disappear rapidly, and
still the mind does not grow dyspeptic or gouty.
Much of the food is illy masticated, too, bnt
that don't matter, especially in this age of sur
face gleaning and speed. The paper mills are
taxed to their utmost to supply the
service on which the mit-d food is served.
Millions of deft, swift fingers fly over the
thoughts of tired brains, and thousands of
mighty machines bang and clang and clatter
through the dark to the light to shape and
stamp and form the product Into present
able sliapo. All over the land tireless feet
speed through deserted streets, rain or shine,
and lay upon your threshold what the world
offers to snstain, nurture, feed the mind. And
bow you do devour the stew. Of course, it is
mixed to suit all tastes to tickle all palates.
The mind of the masses, the great
public mind, is decidedly cosmopoli
tan. democratic catholic. What you
don't care to taste may tickle your neighbor's
palate what you reject as nauseating may be
relished keenly by somebody else. It's there
for you to devour or denounce. What you
don't want you can brush aside, of course.
And there you sit and feed the ever starving
mind. Course after course disappears. A laugh,
here, a horror there a sorrow sandwiched be-
tween a joy, a tear on top of a tickle. But the big
morning meal sits lightly. You don't overload
the stomach ot the mind, do youT Of course
you can, but why should you T It's like the
rack at the head of the mill flume. The drift
the barks, chips, straws, weeds are canght,
and the litter-cleansed stream flows on to that
wonderful whirring wheel which we call the
brain.
The forget-me-not would be an appropriate
Christmas flower.
When you receive a compliment, etiquette
demands that yon return it.
Altyay6 made to order Soldiers.
When yon rise above the commonplace your
enemies increase, but your friends renew their
pledges, and are always prepared to defend
you.
Little Tommy's Plot.
'Twas the night before Christmas, and all thro'
the town
Every child was asleep except wee Tommy
Brown;
He lay on hit pillow pretending to snore.
But kept a sharp eye on the well bolted door.
Below od the mantel the hose in a row
Hung limp in the light of the fire's red glow;
Mamma sat there in her kerchief and cap,
Papa in his big chair was taking a nap.
Soon over their heads they heard a light patter
And secretly wondered what could be the
matter;
Papa started up and rubbed his dim eyes.
And mamma looked over her specks in surprise.
They listened in patience, ana on the next
floor
Heard some one unfasten the nursery door.
Then sounds as of feet on the carpeted stair
Fell on the sharp ears of the listeners there.
Mamma said a mouse could cot make such a
noise,
And asked sleepy papa to look at the boys.
Jnst then on the door they heard a Blight
scratch,
A sound as if some one was hunting the latch,
Then the door open.d wide and a specter in
white
Gave papa and mamma a terrible fright;
But soon tbey recovered from this odd surprise,
And saw it was Tommy, who looked very wise.
Not a word did thej speak as tbey studied his
face.
Which seemed firmly fixed on the big fireplace;
Tbey saw at a glance that his little heart
thrilled
Because the long stockings bad not yet been
" iiirt - i
Then mamma's soft hand sought her sweet
darling's head.
And she asked little Tommy why he'd left his
bed.
He lay his brown curls on her breast with a
slgb.
Then spoke in a whisper while blinking his eye:
"I left it, mamma, 'tans it would be a sin
Not to open the door to let Santa Clans inf"
Actor Sullivan always secures a fair share
of the box receipts.
We are prone to whisper the successes of
others and shout tboir failures. We seem to be
built that way.
The golden rule as applied by the Standard
works the wrong way.
!
A lono flight The stairs leading to the
sixth story.
It is easier to invite criticism than it is to
keep your temper afterward.
About the only thing Indians can success
fully raise on a reservation is a disturbance.
Another French duel is scheduled. It
grew out ot some cutting remarks, and will be
settled by swords.
The stenographer can always raise money on
his notes.
Of absorbing Interest A sponge.
The shoe the horse casts ts always made of
wrought iron.
As a general thing there's no flies on a fly
man.
Ber Predicament.
Pity the sorrows of.maiden old,
She of love bereft,
While you fondle your, band of gold,
Think how she got left.
Lawyers handle about as many business
suits as tailors.
The big-footed folk can hang up the largest
stockings to-night.
While you are giving something don't
neglect to forgive somebody.
Most of the women seem to be made after
the patterns in the fashion plates.
When the Alliance gets there the Executive
Mansion will be turned into a farm bouse.
If Uncle Sam builds a cayy now we will have
the nucleus of a merchant marine when the
millennium rolls round.
People with artificial teeth should not grum
ble at adulterated food..
Cigars are Judged by their rank smell.
The man who goes down from Jerusalem to
Jericho now will have to pay his fare.
THE Senators who were fooled by the Baltl
more baby "fake" are now nursing their
wrath.
The Farmers' Alliance seems to be perfectly
willing to work politics on shares.
The returns from Kilkenny indicate that if
Parnell had done right he would not hare got
left.
Every sleeper dreams, but every dreamer
does not sleep.
At, ways well armed Easy chairs.
The Christmas tree cron will cot be a failure
in Western Pennsylvania this year.
Conoress is going to take a recess, and thus
add to the pleasures of the festal season.
Bridges are always easily approached.
People who enter in the business race must
be prepared to run a risk.
The cabman Is worthy of his hire, especially
in winter time.
The woman who wears a rose in ber bair
may feel a thorn piercing ber heart, but she
deserves credit for laughing instead of crying.
The gift should come from the heart, not the
hand. It may be accompanied by looks, but
not words. It speaks for itself, you know.
The great trouble with a good many work
men is that they strike while their temper is
hot.
Signs of the Season.
The roses red are out ot sight,
The daisies under snow.
But tiny berries pure and white
Shine in the mistletoe.
The holly hangs in wreaths and loops
Above the open doors.
And underneath It happy groups
Enter crowded stores.
A Philadelphia cocktail mixer has been
remembered 1 10.000 worth in a will. The arti
cle he compounds must go to the right spot.
You generally have to drive a bargain with
the hackmad before you take a drive.
The day of judgment comes sooner than
some'buslness men and bankers expect.
The Christ mas box is putting money In the
cash box of tbpse shrewd shopkeepers who
advertise.
The wife of the publicman should be satisfied
with the name he makes for himself, for she
bears it. So long as be is prominent she will
not be obscure.
Whole-souled people Theosopblsts.
Hotel waiters are frequently found at the
elevator door. They aro waiting for a lift,
not a tip, however.
If onter garments were transparent the inner
ones would be finer and" perhaps cleaner.
It seems rather strange that when you add
naught to the figure 1 it increases its value ten
fold.' Willie Winkle.
ALL FE0M TEE SOUTH,
What Our Cotemporarles In Dixie's Land
Are Talking About.
Honest Pensions All Bight.
Dallas, Tex., News, Dem.1
Some people seem to labor under the unac
ountable notion that the Government pays the
pensions. They forget that "the Government"
is the most indigent beggar in the country.
The people pay the pensions and tbey pay the
Government also. : Many a well-to-do-fraud is
kept in idleness and ease by the contributions
of people who labor night and day for the
money. Pennons to the helpless are all right.
Pensions to partisan favorites are all wrong.
A Commendable Iteform.
Mobile Eegtster, Dem.I
Crowding out the Insatiably rapacious pen
sion attorneys is one of the most commendable
reforms that the House Committee on Pen
sions has yet undertaken. Reducing their feo
from 10 to 52 would do a great deal toward rid
ding the departments ot these vampires. We
are pleased to note that Secretary Noble, en
couraged by the action of the committee, has
announced that pension attorneys are not at all
essential to the consideration and passing of
pension claims.
Tho President in'tho Bight
Savannah, (ja.; News, Dem.l '
The President, however, wants something
more. He wants assurance that the $5,000,000
subscribed by citizens of Chicago will be paid.
According to our dispatches yesterday he has
refused to do anything toward advancing the
fair until all tho financial aid promised by Chi
cago is in sight. Ho does not intend that the
fair shall be a failure f cr want of money to
carry it on, and he is right-
Supplying Prohibition Districts.
Padncah. Ky., News.
The steamer Clyde has employed 11 extra
clerks to check jugs of whisky to bo shipped up
the ri er to-morrow. The river front has al
ready assumed the appearance of a Nicholson
pavement, and the decks of this noble steamer
will be "frescoed" from stem to stern with gal
lon jugs of the o'bejoyfnl, to be distributed
along the banks of the beautiful Tennessee to
the natives.
Gaining Him National Praise.
St. Lonls Ulobe-Democrat, Kep.l
The opposition of Senator Cameron, of Penn
sylvania, to the Federal elections bill is secur
ing him some abuse among members of his
party In his State, but it is gaining him nraise
In the party In the greater part of the country.
Nor is bis position on this measure likely to
hurt bim much in his State, for there can be
co reasonable doubt that he will be re-elected.
Water Enongh for the Vegetables.
Louisville Courier-Journal, Dem.l
Kentucky's turnip crop is as satisfactory as
If Uncle Jerry Busk had been in control of the
weather all along. Detainers of Kentucky
will regret to learn that vegetables with a good
deal of water in them thrive as well here as in
the most pronounced prohibition climates.
Scheme of the SUver.SpecuIators.
St. Louis Hepublle, Dem.i
The Senate caucus bill, like the Windom
purchase bill, appears to be a scheme of the
silver speculators in Wall street. At any rate,
they will be the chief beneficiaries should the
scheme be enacted into law.
Senator Hoar as a Calamity.
New Orleans New Delta, Dem.
This country is now suffering from Indian
fights in the Wst. snow storms in the East,
George Frishie Hoar in the Senate, and several
other calamities.
Election Keform Growing.
New Orleans Picayune, Dem.l
Fourteen States have adopted the secret
ballot system. It will soon be possible to have
elections on the dead quiet.
A FUNNY AHGUMENT.
Seals in tho Light of Domesticated Sea
faring Animals:
Philadelphia Becord, Dem.
The most ingenious argument In defense of
the claim that the seals which swim in and out
ot Bearing Sea are the exclusive property of
the trading company to which the. United
States Government has given a monopoly over
them is that tbey are not wild animals, but that
they bare become domestisated In their fre
quentvtsits to the Pribyloff Islands. On this
ground it is asserted that the seals have be
come the private property of the Alaska
monopoly, and that the Government of the
United States is bound.to protect the monopoly
against intruders in any part of Behring Sea,
without regard to the question of exclusive
jurisdiction over that water.
According to this beautiful theory, the seals
have domesticated themselves; and, although
the Alaska monopoly has not had the slightest
share in the process it claims to be entitled to
all the legal and financial benefits of this con
siderate act on tne part of animals that hare
hitherto been regarded as wild when swimming
in the ocean.
A WORTHY PEEFOSMANCE.
Mr. Barrett's Shylock Successful, if Not
I Exactly Shakespeare's Ideal.
Shylock is not Mr. Lawrence Barrett's
greatest charaoter, but he scored a palpable
success in the part at tho Dnquesrie last even
ing, and the Portia of Miss Gale was an ideal
performance, especially in tho lighter scones.
Her portrayal of the emotions arising from
the supposed false bestowal of the ring makes
one long to see ner In "As You Like It" or any
ot Miss Terry's comedy parts. Exception must
however, be taken to the Antonio ot Mr.
Frederick Vroom. It was distinctly stiff and
conventional. Mr. J. A Lane's Gratlano im
proved considerably in the later acts, and Mr.
Lawrence Hanley as Bastanio made a decided
hit. Mention may be made ot Mrs. Beaumont
Smith's Jferissa, which was a dainty confection,
coquettish and winsome to a degree. ,
The scenery, especially in the moonlight
scene at Belmont, was particularly good, and
the chornses were well rendered.
:
New Catholic Bishop.
St. Louis, Dec 23. A cablegram received
this morning announces that Bishop Scannell.
of Concordia, Kan., has been appointed Bishop
of Omaha, to fill the vacanoy occasioned by the
death of Bishop O'Connor, and that Bishop
Burke has been appointed to the new bishopric
ot Cheyenne.
THE TOPICAL TALKER.
Doesn't Pay to be Small.
gMALL people get the worst ot it in every
way, the short man especially. He has to
pay the same price for his clothes as the tall
man, and when he dies the undertaker will
make no allowance on account of size. The
short umbrella costs as much as the long one;
walking canes are not sold according to lengtb,
and if you have small feet you will find that
the shoemaker will rather add to his prices
than reduce them on that account. The small
man occupies less room in the cars, but he pays
the same fare as his big brother. Small heads
cost as much to cover, small chins cost as much
to shave, as big ones. If a man goes in for a
short life and a merry one here he will prob
ably be taxed extra font elsewhere. Brevity may
be the soul ot wit. small packages may be best,
the shorts may sometimes have the best of the
market, but, as a rule, the tide of life sets
against small men.
Yesterday a cigar dealer astonished me with
another evidence of the discrimination against
the shorts, I had suggested that a smaller
cigar of the same brand, as a matter of course,
would be of liner quality.
"Not at all," said he. "the fact that it is more
troublesome to roll a small cigar than alarge
one often induces the manufacturer to pay for
the extra labor by detracting from the quality
of the filler. This is not always the case but
often enough to make the superiority of the
small cigar a polite fiction which, some doalers
are fond of using."
Not the Major.
gooN after the news of Lawyer Brown's nomi
nation to the Supreme Bench reached
Pittsburg yesterday afternoon I met a Detroit
man, ana of course I asked him if be knew his
illustrious fellow-citizen.
"BrownT Brown, did you say?" pondered tho
Detroiter. "A lawyer is heT Brown! I do
know a lawyer of that name but he lives in
Pittsburg Major Brown they call him, I be
lieve." What Is the matter with Brown, of Detroit,
that he should have bidden his light under a
bushel so effectively?
Presents of Mind.
Yx'ell, that money you gave me s all gone
and I've not got your present yet," said
she.
"That will have to do for the present," he
said sweetly.
Where the Snow Sticks.
THE snow had almost dlsappeared.ln the city
yesterday, but it still lingered in the
suburbs to the depth of several inches, while
among the hills the snow Is likely to stay until
spring. Perhaps it will surprise the dweller In
the city to know that there was yesterday snow
within ten miles oti Pittsburg deep enough to
bury a good-sized child. A country doctor
who had occasion to drive out yesterday
through the narrow valleys which lie back of
Sewlckley had a very unpleasant experience.
Ho was driving a team of horses to a cutter,
and making very fair progress when became
upon a narrow valley where the snow looked
invitingly smooth and white. In another
minute the horses were plunging In snow up to
their bellies, and the sleigh began to sink in
the soft snow. The horses could not get through
it and the doctor had to unhitch them, and
with a farmer's help drag the sleigh over the
drift after the horses. The snow for a distance
of fifty feet was over four feet deep. And this
when the last vestige of snow had disappeared
from the city streets i$ hours before. If the
cold wave which arrived in town yesterday
afternoon does not wind up with more snow all
the rural soothsayers in Allegheny county will
be disappointed. Wherever you go in the
country you will hear prophecies of a big snow
fall between Christmas and New Year's.
Home From College.
""The college boys are all home, and they are
as welcome andin dispensable at Christmas
time as the flowers that bloom in the spring
will be later on. A powerful contingent of the
young brains and brawn of Pittsburg they are,
too. The number of college men in. Pittsburg
is increasing all the time, and that is generally
realized, but the rapidity of the growth of the
college-educated phalanx is not. A little while
ago a Pittsbnrger had occasion to make a
diligent search for all the sons of the State of
Allegheny who were absent at college, and be
showed me the results of this census. It re
vealed tome astonishing figures, showing that
seroral hundred young men aro at Princeton,
Yale, Harvard, Amherst and a dozen other
colleges within and beyond the borders of the
State.
A Locko of Many Combinations.
The stories that are told of Impressario
Locke's ability to get out of as well as to get
into financial holes are simply amazing. Man
ager Wilt docs not overstate Locke's ability to
raise money or to turn a deficit into a surplus
when he says that he has known Locke to come
out ahead after dropping $100,000. All the same
Locke has now some factors to deal with that
he has not had before. He has been denounced
very freely by the press in the East, the
dramatic capers, the Mirror and Ifews par
ticularly demanding that his name shall be
erased finally from the list of reputable mana
gers. This, coupled with attachment of the
Nero" effects by Mr. Gllmore, in New York,
makes a knot that even the skillful Locke will
find it hard to untie. Manager Wilt professes
to bo perfectly comfortable about the little bag
of boodle which he intrusted to Mr. Locke at
midnight two weeks ago, but from the fact
that bi3 brother managers are expressing a
fine article of sympathy for him on all sides,
would lead one to believe that the chances of
that $2,500 figuring to Mr. Wilt's credit again
are rather slim. The rejoicing of certain hotel
people and others who insisted on getting cash
from the gret financier is one of the merriest
features of the joyous season.
A Bosy View of the Holiday Bush.
V"OU hear a good deal about the tired sales
women in the stores in the holiday rush,"
said one of them yesterday, "and I suppose we
do deserve all the sympathy we get and it
does us so much good. But it is a mistake that
the holiday season is altogether a punishment,
or that we regar1 it with dread. 'The fact is
that I look forward to the excitement of the
Chrl3tmas trade, and I think the most of us do
to, as a relief from the monotony of work be
hind the counter. Of course when the rush
comes and we have to work like sixty we find
that the excitement tells upon us, but while
lam at work I enjoy tho crowd of customers,
the Incessant movement and the general als
turbanco'of all the rules and regulations of the
store. When I get home in the evening I con
fess I am all tired out as we all are. The
point remains, and it is not generally noticed
that we do get soma amusement out of the
holiday rush."
Not to be Put Up With.
t've put up a store in the attlo to encourage
my hired girl to stay," said McCorker.
"My landlord proposes to put up the rent, to
encourage me to stay, I guess," said Flipper.
THE INDIAN SITUATION
Is Materially Simplified 'by Becent Move
ments Among the Beds.
New York Times.
The capture of all or most of the followers
of Sitting Bull, including Big Foot's band, ma
terially slnrplifles the problem of dealing with
the Indian troubles. These troubles are not
over, as the large number of malcontents still
out must show. Indeed, were spring at hand,
instead of the dead of winter, the outlook
would be far more serious. And even now,
with tho cattle and hay of isolated ranches to
Elundcr, campaigning is not impossible for the
otiIe.
But that judicious policy wbloh has sought,
before making a general movement against" the
Bad Lands, to draw back as many as possible of
the Indians who left the agencies Is bearing
good fruit. Tho first great success of that sort
was procuring the return of Two Strike, with a
large part of the bostiles, and now the' capture
of Big Foot follows. The wind-up of the affair
will probably consist in a combined movement
from all sides to surround tbose Indians who
reject all overtures and persistently s:ay ont.
In Stock for Dull Mondays.
Philadelphia Inquirer, Kep. I
The old rumor f a rupture botween Presi
dent Harrison and Secrotary Blaine is revived.
It will be noticed that this rumor always Is re
vived on dull Mondays or at other times when'
autbentlo news is scarce. The Washington
correspondents keep It on hand as a kind of
stock capital on which they cab draw when it
becomes necessary to fill scace.
KOCH'S LYMPH.
It Is Giving Satisfactory Besults In Every
Casein Philadelphia.
Philadelphia, Dec 23. Interest in the
progress of the patients now undergoing the
Koch lymph treatment iu this city increases as,
time goes by, and favorable results seem to be
approaching.
As closely as can be ascertained, there arc,
including the patients at the University and
Jefferson Hospitals and those in the private re
treat of a physician. 18 patients now being
treated with the famous enemy of tuberculosis.
Yesterday's reports of them all are Tery favor
able. Particular interest attaches to the prog
ress made by the patient in the Jefferson Hos
Dltal. a voung man from Laramie. Wyo. He is
afflicted with incipient consumption and tu
berculosis of the throat, and was considered a
most favorable subject for treatment. On the
17th he received his first injection. ncT one on
the following day. Sunday the third was ad
ministered, and his condition yesterday was
most favorable.
The patient himself is very enthusiastic and
frequently gives expression to bis feeling that
he win recover. Yesterday the temperature
was nearly normal about 99. The reaction
after the injection of Sunday was very slight
and according to the Koch theory the slighter
the reaction the nearer the patient approaches
acure. Dr. William M. Angneyis the admin
istrator of the lymph and the patient is also
under charge of Dr. Bennett and Dr. Hearn,
the resident at Jefferson. The hospital physi
cians are anxiously awaiting the arrival of a
new supply ot the lymph. The patient may
be re-inoculated on Friday if his condition
improves as the symptoms are now directed.
Dr. Edward Martin, of the University staff,
said that there were eight patients inoculated
yesterday at that institution. Six were medi
cal cases and two surgical. AH the medical
and one ot the surgical had been previously
subjected to the treatment, and all the patients
are progressing larorably. "We shall inocu
late as many as we hare room for and as many
as we can systematically obserre." said Dr.
Martin. "It requires the closest attention and
the time of an extra force to treat lymph
patients. We bare 11 patients under treatment
now, and they all promise favorably."
EICEIVEE WANTED.
Tho Standard Oil Syndicate Showing Its
Control of New England Boads.
New Haven, Dec 23. The majority of
stockholders in the Shepang, Litchfield and
Northern Railroad, beaded by J. A Bostwlck,
petitioned the Supreme Court, in Bridgeport,
Saturday, that the road be placed in the hands
of a receiver.
It is charged that the road has not been eon
ducted in a business manner and that in New
York courts two cases were lost by default. It
is believed that President George A. Chapman
and a majority of the directors are in favor of
a construction syndicate. At a meeting held
by the directors December 17 ex-Senator lid win
McNeil was removed from the Board of Di
rectors and Lawyer Valentine, of New York,
was appointed in bis place. Dr. Buell, of Litch
field, was removed from the Exer-utlve Com
mittee and Mr. Valentine was substituted for
him. President Chapman's clerk, W. D.
Brown, waa made auditor of bills. The relo
cation of Superintendent Alexander McNeil
was asked for, and will take effect at the end of
the present year. Measures were also begun
for a change in the by-laws so as to remove the
offices of the company and directors to New
York.
The last annual report of the Railroad Com
missioners showed that a controlling lntejestin
the stock was purchased from Connecticut own
ers by a New York syndicate that has made
snrreys for an extension of the road from
Hawleyville to a connection with the New
York, New Haven and Hartford Railroad at
daugatucK. According to the report the gross
earnings of the road last year wero diminished
$2,691 77, the operating expenses Were dimin
ished 510,717 93, and the net eirnlngs were in
creased &,05b 16 over the preceding year.
INCEHDIAHY FISES.
Railroad Officials Think it is Someone
Seeking Bevcnge.
New York, Dec. 23. Another suspicious
fire destroyed some valuable property of tho
Long Island Railroad Company yesterday. It
occurred at the Great Neck terminus of the
Noith Shore branch line, and the snsplcion ba3
been aroused that incendiaries are at work.
At 1:30 o'clock yesterday morning the fire was
discovered in the freight bouse, which is a sub
stantial wooden structure two stories in height,
standing on a platform on the north aide of
the track.
The night telegraph operator hastily aroused
Station Master; Tbursby. and the railroad men
soon awoke the villagers by sounding a loco
motive wbistle. There was no fire engine in
the town, and the crowd of employes and citi
zens were compelled to confine their efforts to
saving as much as possible of the goods stored
in the burning building. The fire consumed
the entire structure and ylatform and a large
portion of the valuable freight, and the loss
will be heavy.
On Saturday morning the locomotive engine
house at Whitestone Landing was also set on
fire in a mysterious -manner and destroyed.
The Long Island Railroad officials fear that
somebody who has a grudge against the com
pany is seeking revenge by applying the match
to structures along the line. An investigation
will be made.
BEDFORD'S WEDDING DELLS.
Charles C. Reamer and Miss Jessie JI. Horns
Married.
rSFEMAL TELEGRAM TO TIIE DISPATCH.
Bedford, Dec 23. A fashionable wedding
was celebrated this afternoon in the Methodist
Episcopal Church, in which Miss Jessie Mur
ray Horno and Charles Comjugbam Reamer
wero the contracting parties, the ceremony
being performed bv Rev. M. L. Smyser. The
ushers wero N. L. McGIrr, editor of the
Gazette, and Oscar D. Doty, assistant cashier
of the First National Bank. The maids of
honor were Misses Nettle and Florence Home,
sisters of the bride.
The bridal party entered tbo church, which
was beautifully decorated, to the sweet strains
of the wedding march taken from Lohengrin.
The bride was attired in a dark bine traveling
suit, as wero also the maids of honor. Tbe
party left this evening for an extensive trip
through the West. Among those from a dis
tance were Miss Sutton, of Urbana, O.: j. J.
Helzel and daughter, of Cumberland, Md.,and
J. Hessel, of Champaign, IIL
WHAT WE TALK ABOUT.
Editorial Opinions on a Variety of Interest
ing Subjects.
New York Herald: If that force bill
doesn't go through the Senate Grandpa Hoar
will pray for the legs of a centipede with which
to get away from Washington.
Philadelphia. P. est: The Republican party
holds, and has held, the Eastern States
by its sound financial policy. It cannot afford
to weaken its hold on the great trading, manu
facturing and business States of the East by
any financial ragarles.
New York Star: The exodus of members
of Congress from Washington for the Christmas
holidays will prevent mischief in either House
by leaving less than a quorum present. As for
the chance of any good being done, quorum or
no quorum, that is not worth considering.
New York Times: What the world has
principally to be thankful for in the outcome
of the "Affaire -Gouffe," Is that the theory of
hypnotic influence was not admitted by tbe
court to be a legitimate defense, and that no
precedent for such a defense in murder trials
was established. t
Boston Globe: Who does not envy the trust
ing nature of the child who is still young and
unskeptical enough to- believe in the man on
the roolf The man or woman who has never
known the childish confidence in the coming of
the good Saint Nicholas down the chimney is
sincerely to be pitied.
Philadelphia Record: It wonld be a start
ling revolution in medical jurisprudence if,
with thf convenient plea of hypnotism, crimi
nals 11' e the Bompard should be permitted to
escape from their responsibility for crime.
Onoo recognized, this plea would become much
more frequent and familiar than the plea of
emotional insanity, which has enabled so many
offenders to erade punishment.
Philadelphia Timis: Tho adrantages ot a
perfectly secret ballot and an absolutely open
count cannot be too strongly impressed upon
the public mind. If free gorernment is to
endure in this country erery citizen must be
given the opportunity to vote as hixonsclence
and judgment direct without the fear of man
or corporation before his eyes and be assured
that his vote will bo counted as it is cast.
Philadelphia North American: The specta
cle of the single men in thecokeregionshasten
ing to get married because married men take
precedence In obtaining work is a decidedly
unique one. It certainly puts' matrimony on a
matter-or-fact business basis, and a a norel
piece ot strategy deserves to succeed. But un
fortunately the old rrarned men will still hare
first chance, for the reason that, they probably
have latge families; dependent upon them, and
this fact presents a new "Complication which
the young couples will find difficulty In solving
all at once.
CURIOUS C0NDEKSATI0HS.
New York has a Hebrew baker's anion.
Volusia county, Fla., will ship nearly
100,000 boxes of oranges.
One of the largest babies ever seen in
Florida is the son of Walter Sylvester, living in
Palatka. He is 7 months old and weighs 40
pounds.
Dr. Schaffranek, ol Palatka, Fla., has
recently sent to Europe a handsome bouquet,
composed of wild flowers, the handle being an
alligators tooth.
Chicago will soon have the largest 10-
cent lodging house in the world. The building
will be seven stories high, will cost $85,000, and
will be heated by stwm and lighted by electric
ity. In hotels the life of a napkin is put
down at three months, provided It is of extra
good material. A sheet lasts six months, and a
tablecloth depends for Its existence npon tbe
care that is taken of it.
The French Chamber has agreed to a
duty on mural advertisements, as suggested by
a private member. The duty is to be graduated
according to the population of the localities in
which the placards are affixed.
Breeding Chinese pheasants has become
a growing and profitable industry in Oregon.
They sell readily for $10 a pair. A large num
ber of farmers are making a nice sum from the
business, a perfectly legitimate one.
W. A. Fulton, one of Clayton county's,
Ga., oldest and best citizens, died two day
ago. Just as he drew bis last breath, tbe old
clock, which for 40 years had faithfully kept
time, stopped, and has not run since.
A young gentleman of LaGrange, Ga.,
upon going to a theater for the first time and
seeing a pistol fired at a woman, who pretended
to be hurt, was shocked to such an extent that
he bad to remain in his room all tbe next day.
A third line of telegraph between Ber
lin and Rome, 1,210 miles long, is to be con
structed through Bavaria and tbe Tyrol. Instead
of Switzerland, like tbe present lines. The wire
will be of bronze, and three millimetres In
diameter.
Tbe police force of Carlsbad has been
trebled, and companies of sharpshooters patrol
the streets every night in order to prevent
thefts, which have been alarmingly frequent
since the flood", on account of the misery ot
tbe poor classes.
The experiment of Dr. Joel G. Justin,
of Syracuse, with his dynamite shell at Perry
villa Falls on Saturday, was a success. Three
shells, each weighing 275 pounds and carrying
seven and a half pounds of dynamite, were suc
cessfully discharged at a target.
About two weeks ago a negro in Ogle
thorpe, Ala., drank a quart of whisky on a
wager. He won the dollar and lost bis lite. A
short time after swallowing the liquor be be
came paralyzed, and never recovered from the
effects of the whisky. He died last Monday.
Near Princevl.'Ie, Crook county, Ore.,
two of Mr. Ragfin's children tried to take a
horse over a barb wire fence. One of the
children held thd wires down while the other
rode the horse over, bnt one of tbe wires flew
up, catching tbe girl who was on the horse,
cutting off her lag and injuring the horse se
verely. Several members of the Imperial Yacht
Club, of St. Petersburg, are said to be under
surveillanco in connection with a Nihilist plot.
The membership of this club includes some of
the grand dukes and many of tbe high nobility
of the empire. Tho Nihilists are said to be
unusually active and precautions for the safety
of the Czar hare been redoubled.
A dispatch from Zanzibar states that
the Portuguese found the King of Bihe, who
,was captured by them a few days ago, to be not
a puro blooded African, but in part a descend
ant of an Austrian or Hungarian adventurer,
who married, many yearsago, tbe daughter of
the Iato King of liilie. tho children of the
couple remaining in Bihe as members of the
ruling family.
The people of Boston are pleased over
tho prospect of improved car service to New
York. The New York and New Haven in tho
oarly summer will hare completed their four
tracks from New Haven to New York, and will
hare also completed the separation of most of
the grade crossings. This will shorten their
running time half an hour, making the time of
the present six-hour trams fire hours and a
half.
Tbe Japanese author does cot write
books. He paints them. As soon as be reaches
the indispensable minimum of Ideas he shuts
himself in bis study, brightened sli-btly by a
sott light from a four-cornered white paper
lantern. He has before him a polished table,
one foot high, on which lie bis idyllic writing
materials. The paper is of an agreeable yellow
and Is marked with perpendicular and horizon
tal bine lines. His Ink is held in a rich ebony
plate, elaborately carved and with a depression
in which the black tablets are rubbed to noth
ing. The plate carries also fire bamboo brushes
v, hicb serve as pens.
An American barkeeper, who wants to
sell out bis place, has hit upon a norel idea for
doing it. Here's his idea: To erery person
who buys, a check will be giren of the amount
ot his purchase. When 55 worth of checks are
gotten they can be returned, and a ticket will
be giren him. Then, at tbe end of a giren
time, say two or three months, tbe present pro
prietor will resign, and the barroom, with all
its contents, turned over to tbe holders of these
tickets. These can then settle it among them
selves as to which one is the owner. They can
then raffle for it, or do what they please with
it. It will be theirs jointly, and tbey can settle
it in any way tbey desire as to who is to hare it.
As light fails to penetrate the great
depths of the ocean there has been considerable
speculation as to how the denizens of tbo deep
obtained a surrey of their surroundings to
avoid danger. Tho naturalist on board the
marine surrey steamer Investigator, while on
the recent cruise in the Indian Ocean, made
the interesting discovery that some deep sea
crustaceans are highly luminous, thus furnish
ing what is believed to be the first positive
proof that the source ot light in the dark
abysses of tbe ocean is tbe self-luminosity of
its inhabitants. A large prawn, lying in a
bucket of sea water on deck, was observed to
be shining brightly, and on beinc seized
emitted copious clouds of phosphorescence. By
the light of tbe luminous secretion the natur
alist was able, though otherwise' in -perfect
darkness, to watch the liring occupants of the
bucket. After the removal of the prawn the
water remained luminous for some time.
A curious accident happened in a
Georgia sawmill one day last week. Something
had eotten the matter with the carriage track,
and it was being tested. A log was placed on
the carriage, but the track was dlscorered to be
out of plumb and it was removed, and in re
moving it the headblock next to tbe saw reared
up. abd when it came down it was several
inches too near the saw. This was not noticed
by Mr. Moore, who held tbe lever, and he at
tempted to test the track without the log. He
did not discover that the head Dlock was out of
place until tbe saw was in a few inches of it,
and it was too late to avort the catastrophe.
The saw came plowing into tbe Iron headblock
and knocked off every tooth, which flew like
bullets from a rifle. One of them hit Mr.
Moore in tbe breast, point foremost, and cams
near going through to the hollow, which might
have resulted fatally. Several others went
through both coat sleeves and lacerated the
flesh, but while these wounds were painful,
tbey were not serious.
JCST FOR FUN.
Somebody say3 that married people live
longer than single ones. A bachelor friend sayi
they hare to If they want to get as much fun, out
of life as the single ones, Sortistovn Herald.
It is estimated that the pulse of a mer
chant beats one-fourth faster at this period than
any other tune of the jear. WMiamrport Gasettt
and Bulletin.
He jests at street cars who never walked
home after midnight. Sew Orleans Picayune.
A bridegroom 6 feet 7 inches tall has just
taken to himself a bride who measures 3 feet 1
lncn. Lore me little, lore me long was the bur
den of their song. Chicago Malt.
The Kickapoo Indians are dancing. They
ought to know how to give most satisfactory per
formances if their namelmplles anything. Omatia
WoTta-lIerald.
Antler, Pierre Paul, Pascale and La-la-Sec,
the lour Indian murderers who were hanged
at Missoula yestertfay morning. Joined Sitting
Bull's set In the ghost dance last evening, and by
this time tliey are wondering why the Messiah
should get so hotabout It. Built (Jfont.) Jllner.
Lecturers advise that in cold weather
people should keep their mouths that and breathe
through their noses. It would be well If some
people followed tbe first bit of adrice even la
warm neather.eMladelpMa Xortfi American,
Although the chest-protector's time
With wanner days must end,
'TIs worthy to be Called la rhyme
A trusted bosom friend. '
Washing ton Post.
He Whv did your sisler return to soon
from Vassir?
She She flunked on the entrance examination
in slanguages. -Veia Tor Herald.
There's difference of dignity jn trades,
Each has its claimants, but when all If said,
Tti .nliht.. t.V.i nA.tflAK at tf, ffAt T
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