Pr THE PITTSBURG DISPATCH, THURSDAY. DECEMBER 11, 1890. $tM$$$t F.STABL1SHED FEBRUARY S Vol.45, o. 307.-Entcred at Pittsburg TostolScc, November 14. IS?, as second-class matter. Business Office Corner Smithfleld and Diamond Streets. News Booms and Publishing House 75, 77 and 79 Diamond Street. rASTEKN ADVElrriSIG OFFICE. ROOM SI, TRIBUNE BUILDING, NEW YORK, where complete files of THE DISrATCH can always be Jound. Foreign advertisers appreciate the con venience. Home advertisers ana friends or THE DISPATCH, while in 2ew York, are also made welcome. TB.E DISPATCH is regularly on sale at Mrentzno's. 5 Union Squat c. Aew York, and 17 Are. de VOpe a, J'aris, Fionc. where anyone irAo has been disappointed at a hotel news tland can ob'aii ft. TERMS OF THE DISPATCH. rOSIACE THEE IX THE UNITED STATES. Daily Dispatch. Onelear J SCO Daily DlsrATcn, Per Quarter I 00 Daily Dispatch, One .Month "0 Daily Dispatch, Including Sunday, lycar. 10 CO Daily Dispatch, IncludineSunday,3in'ths 250 Daily Dispatch. including fcunday, lm'th SO -uxdat Dispatch. One Year 250 Weekly Dispatch, One Year 1 25 The Daily Dispatch ts delivered by carriers at 15ccnts per week, or Including bunda) edition, at M cents per week. PITTSBURG. THURSDAY. DEC. 11, 1S90. A BARGAIN IX REAL ESTATE. An interesting report comes trom San Francisco about the purpose of King Kala kana's visit to this country. That dusky and poker-playing monarch is reported to be coming here, not for mere purposes of festivitv, but with the object of placing a large block of real estate in this market. The property which our royal visitor wishes to dispose of consists of sundry islands in the Pacific Ocean generally known as the Sand wich Islands, but more correctly designated the Hawaiian group. Climate delightful and sanitary condition excellent barring a slight tendency on the part of the population to leprosy and other sporadic ailments. "Water privileges unlimited. Reasons for selling, the absolute need of the present pro prietor for raising a stock of ready cash. It is understood that other bidders can be obtained for this property, but as the owner has expended a large amount of bis cash as sets in our national game of draw-poker he thinks no more than reciprocity that the United States shall return him the moneyon the purchase of his property. Moreover, the royal admiration and afiection for the great nation which gave to the world the game in which a bob flush may beat two pair it plaved with the requisite combination of judgment and boldness creates a decided pre erence that his property shall pass into our possess" la, at a really moderate cash consideration. Beyond this it is intimated that the mortgagees of the property, who, perhaps have a no less tangent ownership than tbe nominal proprietor, want the United States to acquire the title in order that their sugar plantations may get the benefit of the bounty on sugar production under the new tariff act All of which combine to produce among the ruling influence in Hawaiian circles a firm conviction that the best thing that can be done is to sell the property to the United States Government at a price which will enable KaUkaua to pay all his debts and fully relieve the monetary string ency at Hawaii. It will present a very novel interlude to the usual methods of surplus smashing when the King oi the Sandwich Isles brings out this proposition at "Washington, who bids on a first-class piece of Pacific Ocean realty. "Will Congress give the surplus its coup de grace by that investment? IT ADOPTS DOTH. It is a novel indication of the cHss of at tention that is paid to new movements, to find the New York Tribune, in commenting on the platform reported to the Fanners' Alliance convention, committing itself as follows: "It will be seen with surprise that neither of the two great schemes for the peculiar benefit of farmers has been adopted. The sub-Treasury scheme has a host of passionate supporters, but so has the plan of loans on land, and in the conflict between tbe two each iails as yet to secure approval." How, then, does the esteemed Tribune construe tbe lollowing, which makes up the greater part of the first resolution of the Alliance platform, as published in the very issue of our cotemporary which makes the above assertion. We demand that the Government shall es tablish sub-Treasuries or depositories in the several States which shall loan money direct to the people at a low rate of interest not to ex ceed 2 per cent per annum, on nou.perishable tarm products and also upon real estate, with proper limitations upon the quantity of land and amount of money. Perhaps if the esteemed Tribune will study the above extract it will perceive that it lays a flattering but erroneous unction to its soul, in supposing that the divergence between the idea ol Government loans on farm products and Government loans on land would prove an obstacle to the Alli ance. There may have been some difference or opinion between the two plans; but the platiorm cuts the Gordian knot in the promptest possible manner. Instead, ap proving neither, as the Tribune asserts, it disposes of tbe subject in a manner much more agreeable to tbe advocates of the re spective ideas by adopting them both. The Alliance, therefore, seems likely to stand committed to both the sub-Treasury plan and Government loans on land, in ad dition to such other little plans as the aboli tion of national banks, the increase of the circulating medium to 300,000,000 and the Government ownership of railways. If there is anything else that the Alliance wants, and don't see, it will ask for it. THE FATLCKE AND POLITICS. Speaking of the expressions of sympathy which were elicited from the press gener ally, ou the first news of the Delamater fail ure, the Philadelphia Inquirer lugs them into politics in the following manner: "Even the Democratic newspapers that were recently assailing Senator Delamater in the most vicious and untruthful language now acknowledge that he was a good fellow and that they didn't mean anything by it" Perhaps it would have been wiser, in view of recent development', if the Inquirer had initiated the torbearance of the papers which opposed Senator Delamater in the re cent campaign. The Dispatch has said, and still holds, that any talk of actually illegal transactions in connection with tbe failure cannot be deemed of weight until they are backed up by actual evidence. But the points which are practically con ceded make it plain that the methods of the late Republican candidate for Governor are not such as his recent supporters can take any pride in. One feature of the case deserves some at tention. If the condition of the bank is one half as bad as the reports make it, the firm must have been insolvent for some time. One view states that it has been insolvent for five years; and it is hardly susceptible of dispute that it has been insolvent during tbe period in which the political efforts oi its members have been prominent. It is also a lact that large expenditures of money have been made to further those ambitions. To use money to the extent reported for po litical ambitions reveals a perverted idea of politics; but to employ the last resources of an insolvent firm, which really belongs to its creditors, to obtain a political plum re veals a still more perverted and reckless idea of business. THE KEIF KO AD FLAN. The new road law, as outlined by the re port of the meeting of tbe Road Commission, shows a decided advance ou the present state of the road laws. It it were adopted in the form outlined it would doubtless produce a gradual improvement in the condition of the roads. So far as it goes it is to be com mended and supported, although it does not reach some points which are to be regarded as very important in connection with road reform. The purpose of the bill, as outlined, is very plainly to effect two cardinal purposes. One is to reform the method in which farm ers work out their taxes, while still permit ting them to pay these taxes in labor. The other is to offer a premium in the shape of State and county aid to townships which es tablish solid and permanent roadways. The amendment in the first respect lies in re quiring them to furnish their labor at such dates as the roadmasters may direct, and in case they do not furnish the labor faithfully and promptly in authorizing the hiring of labor and collection of the road tax iu money. This is something.of an improve ment, but it fails to develop the full meas ure of reform possible in the system of work ing, not by the day, but by the quantity of work done. Under the proposed" system of State and county aid the township road taxes would amount to one-third of the work done in any township. More than that proportion of work will be such as can be done by the quantity, such as the furnishing of broken stone, the hauling of gravel or the movement of earth for grading, all of which could be done by the cubic yard. If the large amount of such work that would be done under the system, is left open to the farmers to do for cash at a set price per load or cubic yard, the same object will be effected as if they were permitted to work out their taxes in that manner; but it is well worth while to make some provision for either one or the other, in the law. The premium offered for the construction of good township roads is that for every mile of solid road built by a township two will be built in the same township from general taxation, one by the county and one by the State. Considering that the largest share of benefit from good roads comes to their im mediate locality, this is a rather large premium. It is not too much to stimulate the beginning of good work; but after work was fairly under way in each of the town ships thoughout the State, it might amount to a very heavy draft on the State Treasury, and should be subject to a reduction ot the proportions in future. The bill ap pears from the summary to leave the loca tion of the improved roads to the township authorities. This is a questionable feature. Merely local views might produce in a township a system of roads centering at some point within the township without re gard for connection with the highways of other townships, while the purpose for which State and county aid should be granted requires that it shall create a sys tem of connected county and State high ways which should be located by no lower body than the county authorities. The proposed law very wisely abstains from any attempt to establish a hard and fast standard of construction or materials for improved roads. That course might lead to the requirement of materials which would be highly expensive in some local ities and unnecessary or unsuitable in others. But in view of the liability of an easy-going county engineer to approve a road which might be of such material that it would go into ruts within a year or two, and thus cause an expenditure of State funds for something that is not secured, is it not possible to establish a practical test of durability? Thus, if it were enacted that if by township and county work a sec tion ot road, not less than three miles, is constructed, and alter two or three'years of actual use it passes a State inspection as a durable highway, would not tbe same ob ject be attained with a decided safeguard against the danger of road work which would be evanescent in its character ? The proposed plan makes no provision for the employment of workhouse and convict labor on road work. This is obviously in deference to a prejudice that dates from the days when the management of convict labor was medieval and inhuman. Superintend ent Warner's 'practical experiments have proved that such labor can be economically employed, and there is no room for doubt that intelligent regulations can make such work beneficial to tbe prisoners by affording them a change of scene, and work for which they can get a return. Such a plan might indeed, by proper management, make the outside work assume the form of a reward for good behavior. The renewed evidences that the discon tent among the Sioux was caused by tbe fact that they were half starved, calls for a very searching and sharp investigation of the officials who are responsible for the failure to supply them with full rations. The ghost dances should, if the allegations are true, be productive of some political ghosts. The news of suffering among South Da kota farmers is pretty thoroughly substan tiated, and appeals for the aid ot the destitute pioneers of that young State can hardly be neelected. Some parts of North Dakota are also destitute, but the commercial bodies of that State say they can take care of their own needy people. The boomers of the new States arc loth to let reports of starving farmers come East; and they have the right to prevent it by furnishing the supplies on their own account But they must not let people starve to death for the sake of keeping up land sales. "Cosgbess never had a better chance to abolish gerrymanders in Congressional dis tricts than it now has," remarks an organ. True; and if it will turn out a bill that will abolish Republican gerrymanders as well as Democratic ones, it will do a great deal toward making up for past blunders. The fact that Pittsburg has jnst had an experience with overhead electric wires that produced fatal results is widely noticed. But an interesting feature in connection with this is tbe announcement made some time ago that all tbe overhead wires would be removed from the down-town part of the city within a year. As the greater part of tbe year lias elapsed with no more tangible results than a new and fatal demonstration, of the need for their removal, people generally will agree that it is beginning, to be time that something was done. The combination of manufacturers of the wooden parts of wagons and coaches will ad vance tbe price ot tbe products ten per cent on January L Of course this combination was for the exclusive purpose of "securing to the public tbe economies produced by actlne in unison." The plan of"Senator lngalls to secure the votes in the Kansas City Legislature necessary to his election Dv getting the Supreme Court of that State to declde'in favor of the eighteen Republicans, claiming additional seats there, has received a stunning blow in tbe shape of a decision from tbat court that tbey are not en titled to their seats. Thus Senator lngalls' idea of getting bis re-election by aid of the Supreme Court, turns ont to have been an iridescent dream. As the late financial complications permit the Republican organs to ascribe them to the elections, and the Democratic organs to charge them to tbe tariff, one class of the public is entirely satisfied with the situation. The death of a child rarely happens that will cause moro widespread sorrow ana sym pathy than will be felt by all who hear of the death of the boy who was the original of "Lit tie Lord FauntUroy." His characteristics, as idealized in that charming story and drama have caused delight to the entire English speaking world: and Mrs. Burnett will have the sympathy of countless millions in her loss. So we are told tbat President Harrison will not accept a renomination unless the Fed eral election bill is passed. Probably not for the same reason that the proverbial boy would not eat bis supper. Seceetaev Windom very properly re fuses to use any portion of the 8100,000,000 re serve for legal tender notes, to relieve the money market But since this 30 per cent re serve is confessedly ample to mako the legal tenders as good as gold, why not use some part of the 100 per cent reserve on gold and silver certificates in tbe purchase of bonds. PEBSONS OF PBOMINENC& The University of Cambridge has conferred a degree upon Mr. Henry M. Stanley. Rudyaed Kipling has sailed for Naples, where he expects to remain some time to re cover from the effects of overwork. Sie Edwin Aenold is a man of unbounded hospitality, and gives a hearty welcomo to any fellow countryman in his beautiful Japanese borne. , "W. D. Howells' new novel is called "An Imperative Duty." It will make its first ap pearance as a serial in one of the Harper peri odicals. Mrs. H. McKay Twombley. of Now York, is said to own the finest furs of any belle in that city. She has one mantle of Russian sable which cost $10,000. Oeneeal Lee once reiused'$200.000 and a royalty to write a southern history of the war. Ho dia not think it proper to write and pub lish anything on tbe subject during bis life time. Miss Sarah Orne Jewett has delightful summer homo in South Berwick, Ale. The authoress was born in this house, and in some respects it served for her model in "Deep haven." Me. Lewis Faoan, master of prints at the British Museum, who is lecturing on its treas ures at the Lowell Institute, in Boston, has been very warmly welcomed in literary and artistic circles in that city. Ebnest Renan, the French religious his torian and critic, lives in a modest house that seems almost lost in the woods of Brittany. He is a tall and very stout man, with curious long hair. His welcome is always most hearty, and his face beams with kindness. Never a bitter word crosses his lips, and he is greatly beloved by the peasants of his neighborhood. A BErORTEB who has been at work trying to ascertain just how many speeches the eloquent Mr. Chauncey Depew has delivered this year lias thus far been able to count up 160, but he says the returns from tbe rural districts are not yet all in. The reporter has been trying to classify thes speech j unde separate heads, and has found tha-. those under tbe head of "festive and humorous" are more numerous tha. those under the other four heads, "com mercial," "religions," literary" and "politi cal." Some of these brilliant speeches, if fully reported, would occupy from three to four col umns of solid type: others would run over a column, and several would be brought into three-quarters of a column. The Growing Pride of America. From the New York Tribunc.1 The new navy is already a source of honest pride among Americans. In the course of a few years shipbuilders have been enabled to rival the best work of European yards. The crnisers compare favorably in speed with tbe fastest war vessels afloat and the battle-ships promise to be among the most formidable and seaworthy of modern floating batteries. The nation might have adopted ten years ago the policy of having its new fleet built and armed abroad. A FICKLE DAMSEL, Sho Elopes "With Another on Her Wedding Day,'Then Returns to Her Betrothed. Keypore, N. J., Dec. 10. One month aco Miss Jennie Barrows was to wed-Mr. Morris Weinstein, but young Benjamin Robinson in the meantime won bcr love, and tbey both mysteriously disappeared on that night and left the would-be groom awaiting at tbe altar for the bride. But last night Mr. Welnstein and Miss Barrows were made man and wife, although ber forme.- lover stood by and saw them joined together. Miss Barrows became acquainted with Morris Weinstein. They decided to wed on Sunday evening, November 9. Two weeks before the wedding day Benjamin Robinson paid marked attention to Miss Jennie. Niehtlyhe pleaded with her, and his visits became so frequent that Weinstein ordered him from the house, where she was boarding. Robinson met bis sweetheart in the street andsbe promised to be true to him. AH this was unknown to Weinstein, and when Sunday evening came all arrancements were made. Tbe groom appeared and was sur prised in not meeting his bride. They waited till 9 o'clock, with the same result The next day it was learned tbat the young lady and Rob. inson were missing. Weinstein almost went into hysterics. Isenburg, brother-in-law to the missing younslady. sought her out and brought her home. Weinstein was present, and, after some explanation, tbe j oung couple wee acain happy. Last night they were made man and wife in the presence of about 50 people. Rob inson was present, ana when seen by Weinstein was ordered from the house, but refused to go. After a little discussion they quieted down and Rsblnson made his exit While the bride stood at tbe altar and tbe clergyman read tbe mar riage vow she began crying most piteously and was hardly able to answer tbe questions neces sary. White Caps Must Go. Chicago Hcrald.l That interesting organization known as the White Caps will have to give up business in Randolph county, Indiana. Tbey have a law down there known as the White Cap law, and tbey have just been applying it to a member of alocalDandof "avengers." A physician at Losantvillc, who had received a number of letters threatening him with death and adorned with coffins, skulls, crossboncs, knives and revolvers in the usual White Cap style, succeeded in ferreting out the author and bad him indicted by tbe grand jury of the county. His trial under the White Cap law took place last week, and resulted in his sentence to the penitentiary for one year. This is tbe first conviction under the law, and it shows what can be done when the victims of threats and outlawry have the courage to prosecute the offenders. Tbe tar and feather soirees and other midnight amusements of tbe White Caps will probably be less frequent in Randolph county hereafter. VOTING FOE SEHATOB. A Close Contest Being Waged in the South Carolina Legislature. Columbia, Dec 10. The General Assembly in joint session to-day took a second ballot for United States Senator. It resulted as follows: Irby, C3; HawDton, 42; Donaldson, 45. Irby gained eight votes over his vote of yes terday and lacks but 17 of election. DEATHS OP A .DAY. Mrs. Rose Ann Moody, Mrs. Hose Ann Moody, mother of the late Colonel W. B. Moody, of the 139th Pennsylvania Volunteers, died yesterday afternoon, In ber SUllrcar. SNAP SHOTS IN SEASON. It is easier to find an endorser for yonr opin ions than yonr notes. Santa Claus is coming. He'll soon be here, won,t be? Good old winter visitor is Santa Claus. How the 'children love him, to be sure. In cot and mansion, in alley bounded and parked homes, In tenement and farmhouse all over the land the young hearts are beating faster and faster as the date of his visit draws nigb. Frowzy heads nestling on pillows of down and tufts of straw see the same vision in their dreams as you and I saw in the long ago. For Santa Claus, bless his dear old soul, has not changed a bit since we waited for bis com ing. In Nodland they see the same old sled, laden with the same old stock, drawn by tbe same old reindeers, driven by the same old roan he of the frosty beard, snowy hair, smiling, kindly face. Blessed, sleep-giving vision to you and to I then to thine now. Afar off, way behind tbe big banks of snow clouds, beyond the shifting streaks of the Northern lights the little ones in ante-Christmas dreams see tbe blf; storehouse. What big boxes, bulging bales, bursting bags, stacks of toys, heaps of candy, piles of nuts it holds. Tbe fleet-footed steeds are pawing In the snow for the lichen while awaiting the crack of the whip, shaking the song out of the silvery bell", the tinkle or which sounds sweetly in Dreamland. Now mako this dream of the darlings come true. Some of the dreamers see tbe glitter ot gold and tbe dazzle of gems. Borne see only toys, lollypops and sugar plums. Bur, be they meek and lowly or high and mighty, make the dream drift into reality on Christmas morn. Santa Claus discriminates, of course, but he shouldn't skip. Hang something on tbe tree or put something in tbe stocking. Keep np the innocent play, nourish the beautiful dream. It will vanish only too soon. When life becomes a stern reality the tinkle of tbe silvery bells is muffled in tbe years. But tbe vision and tbe sound come back at Cbristmastlde come back with the prattle of tbe children who await as you awaited, the coming of good old Santa Claus. You cannot get to heaven simply by joining a church and paying pew rent You get on tbe right tiack, however. The powers tbat bo say the poor bouse must have a water front Make it granite or brick, gentlemen. Can't Judge by Appearances. Eo many suffer meekly, bide tbeir cares Behind a smiling face deceptive veil That it is hard to judge by what one wears. A gold-kid shoe may pinch an ingrowing nail. The depression does not seem to have any influence on church collections. Pabnei.Ii has seized United Ireland. But will this unite Ireland? Fbight has made men brave and scared cowards to death. When stockholders of an electric lighting company meet tbe public expect them to turn on tbe light The stage has wings and flies, too. Opium imports are Increasing. Blame it on the heatben Chinee and the heathenish cigar ette. Love of country in all right, but love of countrymen is better, especially in time of peace. Pine: teas are fashionable in white society, and black teas are tbe proper caper with tbe colored upper crusty we suppose. Asleep, Not Dying. Where flowers throve In summer sun. While balmy winds were slching; Where hungry spiders stout webs spun, A sheet of snow is lying. Where clover tops were red and white. And thistle blows were flying: Where meek-eyed kino slept in the night A sheet of snow is lying. Where once the sower placed the seed, Then reaped our wants supplying: Where night dews nourished lowly weed, A sheet of snow is lying. Where loved ones sleep in narrow bed, Beyond the sound of sighing; Where once some scalding tears were shed, A sheet of snow is lying. But flow'rs will bloom, tbe grain will thrive Eartb is asleep, not dying. Sun will once more all things revive. Where now the snow is lying. A long felt want Poverty. Many Pittsburg barbers have sufficient trade to be able to shave a note. The hired girl is very often a tired girl, to be sure. Mbs. Southworth has written 66 stories and has survlred thousands of readers. Manta Claus is about to take a whirl in the sock market. Newspaper men keep more secrets, and keep them better, than other people. Must Grin and Bear It Tbe clerk of tbe weather's a teaser. Why don't he this foolishness stop T Now if he could furnish a freezer The snow wouldn't turn into slop. Cuba is in abont as bad a box as Ireland, but is spared tbe talk with which poor Erin Is afflicted. A great many millionaires seem to have been existing on air. . Ireland would get home rule quicker if she could only manage to rnle some of tbe rulers. IF all the farmers gointo politics, Uncle Jerry Rusk will be compelled to furnish them with a text book on vote raising. All the talk about burying tbe wires is merely on tbe surface. Get down to business, gentlemen. It is easier to speak kindly than crossly. A smile gathers quicker than a scowl, and looks prettier, too. Peevish folk are like overgrown children. Tbey expect to be treated like sensible people, and are constantly annoying us. If woman is let alone she will eventually find out where she belongs. Housekeepees frequently have to tell Mary Ann to get up and dust Fbozen tramps who failed in an attempt to knock out Jack Frost with whisky are appear ing in the casualty colnmns. The hat firms that havo failed apparently failed to reap any benefit from the landslide last fall. Sisterly advice Is all very nice, but it's nicer if tendered by some other fellow's sister. You can't go through the world slip-shod In winter time without falling. But They Must Talk. Woman, woman, you're a puzzle, Source of all our joy and woe; If we could your gossip muzzle. Peace would flourish here below. The dentist occasionally fills an aching void in tho face of humanity. Keep your ears open and your mouth shut and you are liable to hear something without 'interrupting the story. You cannot even start a sentence without a capital. The Road Commission is making a splendid start to get out of tbe mud. Faith will do a good deal, but it will not check disease without the aid of medicine and hygiene. AS' a newspaper The Pittsburg Dispatch ranks among the foremost dallies. Its makeup is particularly attractive. The arrangement of tbe President's message in its columns on Tuesday was sneb as to merit favorable com ment from all its readers, each feature of tbe paper belnc appropriately headed calling ready attention thereto. Mercer UUpatch and Re publican. Kind words should never die, hence tbeso are reproduced. If you skim the news you hardly get the cream of it It's all right to copy a man's manners, but you will get into trouble it you copy his signa ture. When the ice is soft clean off your pave ment. Paenell has his Irish up, and the fun is just about to begin. Willie Winkle. Republican Policy In Pennsylvania. From tbe St. Louis Globe-Democrat (Kep.) The Republican managers in Pennsylvania will make a grave mistake if tbey attempt to discipline those members of the party who scratched the State ticket in tbe recent elec tion. Abetter policy would be to conciliate such voters by assuring them tbat they will never again be asked to support a ticket with such an objectionable man at tbe bead of it A LULUCBOUS BLUNDEB. Nowspaper Copy and Senator Paddock's Speech Get Terribly Mixed. IFBOM A STAir COBEKSPOHDENT.3 Washington. Dec 10. William E. Annin is the correspondent of the Salt Lake Tribune, and Is also the private secretary to Senator Paddock, of Nebraska. A. day or two aco, while preparing an article for publication, Mr. Annin was obliged to attend a meeting on the House side, and left his unfinished manuscript on bis desk in tbe Senator's room. Upon his return he was nnable to find bis copy, although he searched the room over. The Senator was sought, but ho could give no information as to how the papers had disappeared, and Mr.Annln rewrote his article and thought nothing more of the matter. This morning the Senator greeted his clerk with the remark: "Howell, I have found your manuscript, and it appears in the middle of my speech on the Indian ques tion, which is printed in tbls morning's Rec ord." It seems tbat while tbo correspondent was ab sent an employe of the Record came into the room in search of the manuscript of tbe Sena tor's speecb, ancLseelng the copy wbicblthe cor respondent had written he gathered it up with tbe speech of tbe Senator and inserted the en tire matter in the Record. The result is that tho Senator is credited with what is probably tbe most eccentric speech on tbe Indian trouble ever delivered in tbe Senate It reads in part: "A great many foolish things have been said and a great many absurd exaggerations have been made in connection with this whole busi ness. While the Tribune is taking no part in the interesting Senatorial tight in Idaho, it is due to its readers that they should be informed ot the sentiment prevailing in Congress in ref erence to the struggle. I have taken the trouble in the last few days to personally inter view more than 50 Senators and Representa tives on this subject" Then follows interviews with Speaker Reed and Senators Piatt, Pad dock and Cullom. At tbe conclusion of these remark, Mr. "Voorhees, according to the Rec ord, says: "It the Senator is satisfied with tbat attack upon Genoral Miles, I think General Miles can stand it." The Kansas Alliance Leader. Atlanta Constitution. General John H. Rice, the man who has been creating somewhat of a stir at Ocala, during the meeting of the Farmers' Allianco conven tion, is a Georgian. Just before the war he emigrated to Kansas, and joined tbe Republi can party, which was then very strong in that State. He stuck to the party all through tbe war, and has been a strong Republican ever since. During the last elections in that State he ran lor office, and was opposed by his own son, who beat him pretty badly in tbe race. General Rice was a leading citizen of Clayton county previous to his Temoval from tbat sec tion, and is remembered by many of the older settlers. His wife is related to prominent families in that part of the State and in this city. BOUGHT A SMALL EMPIRE. Twenty Thousand Georgia Acres in a Block for Development Cordele, Ga.. Dec. la The largest land trade of the season was mado lately by Mr. J. F. Horkans, of Sycamore, Ga., a station below Cordele on the Georgia Southern and Florida Railroad. He got together a great number of land owners and offered to purchase 20,000 acres of land trom them provided tbey would put it to him cheap enough for him to sell it again and mako a fine profit on it. He has bought 20,000 acres of this fine timbered land which be proposes to sell again to a Northern syndicate at $1 per acre. This perhaps is tbe largest body of timbered lands tbat could be bought anywhere, as land speculators have become so numerous tbat it is almost impossible to get timbered lands in any such large ttacts. Mr. Horkans says tbat be will find purchasers for this land within the next 60 days, be thinks, and will get the parties to agree to put in sawmills and rapidly saw away the timber and open up tbe country for farming purposes. This land is situated on the Georgia southern and Florida Railrond. There aro 127 sawmills on the two roads centering at Cordele, and Cordele is tbe headquarters for most of tho great lumber companies of this section. If a party wishes to buy or sell tim bered lands in any way he comes to Cordele to do so. Powderly Gompers. Detroit Free Fress.l There was a time when the Knights of Labor had almost tbe Complete control of all the or ganizations of workingmen in the country. Trades unionism never died out, but it was re garded with a degree of superciliousness by the greater and stronger organization, tbat almost savored ot actual contempt Things have changed since toat time, and the once despised minority now has an overweening in fluence in all tbe matters with which both or ganizations are concerned. Will this Influence be used wisely and for the best service ot the community, which means the real good of any labor organization and of every member of such an order? The lesson to Mr. Gompers is a plain one. It is tbat so long as he is conserva tive, carefnl and just, a peace maker, not a mischief maker, and a friend of the community rather than a self-seeker, be will serve the cause he has chosen and himself, as well. So soon as he misleads his followers and injures tbe public Interest, he is apt to find himself where tbe once powerful Mr. Powderly is to day. HEE FIEST ELDS ON A TEALS. A Lady 91 Years Old Has a New Experience in Traveling. Eatonton, Ga., Dec 10. For tbe first time hr ber life Aunt Sookey Young was on a rail road train yesterday. Sbe went from Eatonton to Macon on tho Middle Georgia and Atlantic Sbe Is in ber 91st year, has lived in Putnam cunty all ber life, and in Eatonton, where be could see a train daily, but tor the first time rode on one to-day. At tbe request of some friends in Eatonton to-day she accompanied them to Macon and return, and seemed to en joy the trip. Another Insult Added to Injury. From the Chicago Times. Poor, fidgety old St Louis is so worried over tbe prospect of an Indian war tbat she puts her nlgbt-cap on wrongside out ever night "WHAT EXCITES EHTLADELPHIAH3. A Budget of New Which Shows How the Tillage is Enjoying Itself. From the Philadelphia Becord. Colds. Cold feet Red noses. Rosy cheeks. Falling horses. Slippery tracVs. Cars behind time. A few sleighs out Blacksmiths bnsy. Cranky telephones. Outside workers idle. Extra coil consumed. Boys throwing snowballs. Biggest since tho blizzard. A boom in gum boot sales. Drivers walk to keep warm. Street car sweepers were out One snow sbovcler made 1 40. Girls always slide left foot first Skirts tbat sweep the pavement. Asphalt streets crowded with sleds. Not many earrings are sold for day wear. Feathers are nsed for high shoulder effects, etc, etc, as above, "" THE TOPICAL TALKER, A Warm Finale. flOOD old Uncle Henry and four-year-old Tom, his nephew, were in conference. Asked bow be put in his time the small boy be gan with breakfast, burried over play time to dinner, then through more play to supper and then paused In doubt " Well, Tom, what comes after supperf" asked his uncle. The boy's big eyes looked fixedly into space, but bis lips never moved. "Surely something comes after supperf the elder repeated. "Y-e-e-s," said Tom with a reluctant effort. 5 "Well, what is it?" "I get whipped mostly!" Two Ways of Taking a Joke. TmtEE's a song in "Robin Hood" which Mc Donald sings with a tuneful refrain voic ing tbe old adage: "It takes nine tailors to make a man." On Tuesday evening the mer chant tailors who have been sitting in conven tion in this city attended the performance, and it speaks well for tbe magnanimity of the sartorial artists and for the merits of tbe song tbat tbe loudest applause came from the boxes where tbey were sitting. One night six or seren years ago, a merry jest of this sort that cropped out in the comic opera of "Falka" at the Casino did not meet with a kindly reception. The comedian, Ryley, had a "gag" reflecting on pawnbrokers what it was exactly has escaped me but on the night in question when be uttered it a voice from the parquet shouted: "You're a liar!" This naturally disconcerted Ryley for a moment; there was a palniul silence in tho house, broken only In a few seconds by the movement of thoss who tried to see who the rude eiacu lator was and as far as I could learn afterward he was only a drunken man who bad suddenly waked from dreams ot other scenes Ryley turned the laugh upon him by remarking: "The gentleman seems to have taken more than three balls!" Shoppers Defended. 'J'HE other day Teresa H. Dean, writing in the Chicago Herald, cleverly combatted the prevalent notion among men that they have a right to chaff their wives, sisters, mothers and even their sweethearts abont tbeir fondness for shopping, and their habit of returning from tho shopping excursion at the time when the street cars are most crowded, and thus forcing tired men to give up their seats to the fair travelers. Miss Dean, in tbe course of her remarks on this subject, said: "It is tiresome this sentiment and tirade about women shopping. Tbe weariest person on tbe street car at night is the woman who has spent the day, or 'half of it in shopping. There are women who make a few purchases and get more or less pleasure in going from store to store and feasting their eyes on tbe beautiful things. But the woman compelled to join tbe ranks and do tbe shopping for a whole family does more actually bard work than four-fifths of tbe men wbo complain tbat tbe street cars are not reserved for tbeir ex clusive use at S or 6 o'clock. It is pbyslcal and mental labor, and is as important in run ning the affairs of the family as tbe work done by the husband. At this time of the year it is literally impossible to do any great amonnt of sbopptng and get home before night. Tbe stores are crowded and much more time is given to waiting than to shopping. Sensible women are perfectly willing to stand while tho tired man buries his head in his newspaper, but it is aggravating to be con sidered a usurper of the standing room. And in addition they would enjoy tbe privilege of deciding for themselves whether it is possible to get through with shopping before this sacred hour." Yesterday a doctor was talking to me of the number of cases of nervous prostration and kindred troubles that be had encountered, and in reply to my query he said that "shopping" was a form of feminine dissipation that un doubtedly bad its victims. A Feminine Dissipation. kXTes," said the doctor, "I have found tbat the mania for shopping is a serions mat ter with some women. In several cases where I have been called upon to treat a shattered nervous system, I have discovered no cause for tbe collapse but a confirmed and violent ap petite for rushing from store to store, priciog materials, examining goods, worrying sales men and still more, saleswomen, and in short carrying to extremes all that is comprehended in the word "shopping.' It is actually as injurious to some delicately organized consti tutions as drinking, tbe morphine habit or dis sipation of tbe more violent sorts. It is qnite true tbat standing before a counter, peram bulating among a hundred stores, fur hours together, is a severe strain upon a great many women who indulge in "shopping' for days at a time without dreaming they are doing more barm to themselves than inflicting fatigue for a time. At this, tbe holiday, season shopping is at Its height and the number of my fair patients already show a decided increase." Oil City's Slippery Sidewalks. From tbe Oil City Blizzard. A stranger in Oil City might reasonably sup pose, from the antics of persons coming down from Cottage Hill, tbat tbey were trying tbe ghost dance. THEEE PLUCKY SISTEES. With Only Grit and Perseverance They Unlld Up a Fortune. New Yoee". Dec. 10. A striking exempllflca tlon of what can be accomplished by women of self-reliant caliber was given yesterday in tbe trial of a suit begun before Judge Ingraham, in special term of tbe Supreme Court The mat ter in controversy is tbe right to the possession of the dwelling house No. 109 East Twelfth street and the furniture therein. As bronght out in the pleadings and testi mony thus far taken, three young sisters Ellen, Josephine and Mary Leniban through the death of tbeir father in 1879 found them selves poor and comparatively friendless. They at once went to work with tbeir needles. Soon tbey bought a sowing machine and then an other, and at length they ran 52 machines and had 63 girls iu their employ. As the years rolled from their accumulated savings tney Duugnt tne uouse ana ini, .ho. luy t least Twelfth street, and deeded it to their ) mother. At length the mother died, and so, too, the sister Josephine. The other sisters married. Tbe question to be settled by tbe Conrtis whether representatives oj tbe de ceased mother, other than tbo surviving sisters, can claim the bouse in question, or whether the title vests In tbe surviving sisters because tbey paid for it Discriminating in Favor of Lo. From tho Atlanta Constitution.! Tbe Government having armed tbe Indians with Winchesters, i3 now engaged in arming the whites with army muskets. ' A LOST PICTUEE FOUND. It Disappeared at the Close of the Centen nial Exhibition. Philadelphia, Dec 10. After passing through various bands for 14 years, a dispute bas arisen over a large and handsome oil paint ing, which hangs in the corridor of the Girard House, in this cityT The picture wj the work of Phlllo H. Holmes, an artist, of Gardiner, lie., wbo sent it to the Centennial exhibition in 1876 as part ot tbe exhibit of American artists. Tbe subject represented a view of the Adirondack mountains from Vermont, and was valued at $3,000. At the close of tbe exhibi tion the picture suddenly disappeared, all hopes of placing it being abandoned by Mr. Holmes. Some time ago one of Mr. Holmes' pupils was walking through tbe corridorof the hotel when he noticed the picture, examined It closely and found It to be tbe work ot bis master. There suit of the discovery was a suit In replevin, which was entered yesterday in Common Pleas Court The defendants in tbe suit are entirely exonerated from any implication in the disap pearance of tbo picture. A Reformed Drunkard's Biography. Eatonton (Oa.) Messenger. - Forty years ago, in Walton county, Ga., a brilliant young man died. A few years previ ous to bis death be came into a fortune of $100,000. He took on habits of dissipation; he became a physical wreck; he scattered bis fortune to tbe winds; he reformed and lived long enough to write a history of his life as a drunkard, and ten days before he died he left the manuscript with Mr. C. M. Galloway, then of Walton, now or Putman, with the request to have it published in book form. Tbat is what Mr. Galloway is going to do after so long a time. The book-is called "A Trip to Hell, or tbe Memoirs of a Reformed Drunkard." We are told tbat it is exceedingly well written, and tbat a number of women on Peacbtree street Atlanta, are going to push its sale II the profits warrant such action, one half of what Is made from the book will be given to charity. OUR MAIL POUCH, The Italians Are La w-Abiding Cltliens To tbe idltor of The Dispatch : Several Pittsburg papers havo been circulat ing tbe report tbat the Italian miners engaged by tbe Irwin coal companies are going about town carrying arms and threatening to shoot anybody who will interfere with them. Noth ing more villainously nntrue has ever appeared in tbe columns of tbe American press. As a resident of Irwin, and as an Italian myself, I deem it my duty to vigorously protest against such slanders, wblch simply aim to discredit a class of law-abiding citizens. I think it Is time to call a hale to such a policy, which is thor oughly in contradiction to tbe tenets of Amer ican liberty and tbe Constitution. This way of raging war against a whole nationality by reason of tbeir willingness to earn an honest living Is indeed unworthy of the character and tradition of tbe American people. Will you kindlv insert in yonr paper this protest of mine! Should somebody, doubting my asser tion, desire to enter a discussion regarding the morals and character of the Italian element, I will be glad to meet bim. Respectfully vours. Louis Casabona. Editor Fnlladelpbia Vesuvio. Iewin, Pa.. Dec 9. The Spanish Dancer Again. To the Editor of The DUDatcni Please inform me through your paper which is propor "Carmencita" or "Carminceta," and what is the meaning, and settle a dispute. C. B. Reed. ITbe proper spelling is "Carmencita," and it is tbe name of a Spanish dancer who has re cently been the rage in New York. An Indian Appellation. To the Editor of The Dispatch: Please give origin and definition of the word "Totem." Robert Miller. Maekle, Pa., Dec 9. Tbe word was used by tbe North American Indians to designate a rude drawing of a beast or bird, sometimes scratched on a grave, as a symbolic Dame. Who Knows Anything About ThisT To the Editor of The Dispatcn: "When and under wbat circumstances was tbe power granted to commissioned officers of the United States Army and Navy toperform mar riazo ceremonies? Robert H. Graham. Allegheny Citt. Dec 9. Cnshlng,gManuaI Is the Standard. To the Editor of The Dispatch : Kindly inform me tbe best book or authority tcobtaln for full information on carliamentary laws and rulings. Pbesident. Pittsburg, Dec 8. That is According to Rnle. To the Editor of The Dispatch: If in playing euchre 1 order up my partner can I play it alone and count four times, when I have the cards? B. C. Pittsburg, Dec 8. Misrepresenting. Southern Life. Richmond State. It is easy to understand why the Northern illustrated magazines and papers during tbe war showed the South and her people In an un favorable pictorial light, but why should they follow the same line after a quarter of a century of peace? Even the cleverest magazines and weeklies in tbe Nortb always have abominable pictures when they deal with Southern scenes and people. Tbey always portray dilapidated houses, rotten fences, untidy surroundings, and men and women wbo look sloucby, haggard and uncouth, or else wild-eyed and ferocious. How long are these pictorial libels to continue? It is high time for the editors and artists of the North to recognize the fact tbat our people, their dress and their bouses are not a century behind tbe progress of tbe age AH ALLEGED jaBACLE. The Power to Read the Bible Bestowed Upon a Praying Darkey. Jacksonville, Fla., Dec 10. Samuel Bowth is a colored man who for a longtime bas been employed In a lumber yard. Though ignorant, be bas always been liked. Bowth has always taken great interest in religious matters, but his creat drawback was tbe fact tbat ha could not read. His employer was much surprised tbe other morning wben he noticed that Sam was exceed ingly liappr. and with great exnltation,Sam told Doroeher that he could read, and upon be ing fnrmshed a Bible, he read with perfect ease. Sam was well-known, and this caused great excitement about his new gift Bam told the following story: "I never had any education, and envied min isters, and I determined to learn how to read. I studied, but it was Greek tome. I never could learn one word, so I took to my knees and prayed tbat I would be made able to read. I prayed and prayed every night on my knees, 'asking God tn teach me how to read. Tbe other night I felt a curious feeling, as if an old rag was being unwrapped from around mv head, and something tojd me I conld read, so I gotaBioleof a neigbnor, and it was all plain. I can read it plainly and can pronounce all tbe words right, so everybody tells me. I tell you, bos, I believe in prayer." His employor says Sam 13 a truthful darkey, polite and industrious, and be was never de tected in anything wrong. As it is well known that Sam could not read a few days ago, and now he can read well, bis story excites deep interest Hungry for Revenge. From the Chicago News. Succl is not tbe only peripatetic statue of hunger in America. Mr. lngalls, of Kansas, bas an appetite that bas been sharpening ever since tbe 4th of November. A BALTIMORE HEROINE. Suffering From Rheumatism She Leaves Her Bed to be Married. Baltimoee, Dec 10. Miss Sallle Ross won tbe admiration of ber sex last nigbt when, not withstanding ber sufferings from an attack of inflammatory rbenmatlsm, and contrary to the orders of her physician,, she left her bed to go to church and get married. She bad been suf fering intensely the night previous and could with difficulty stand, but sba was determined not to disappoint ber friends to whom invita tions has been sent. Tbe groom insisted that tbe ceremony sbould take place at the house, and so consoled her parents and the physician, bat the bride had a will of her own and she had her wav. She was well wrapped up and wa3 driven direct to the Fulton Avenue Presbyterian Church, where tbe Rev. E. H. Robbies performed the cere mony, during which she leaned on the arm of the groom. Sbe was subsequently taken back home and went to bed again. To-day she feels better. PLAYS TO COME. The engagement of"The Charity Ball" at the Grand Opera House lor tbe week beginning Monday, December 15, Is an event of more than special interest to theater goes. Everywhere the play is spoken ot as the best work of Messrs. Belasco and De Mulli. and under the able direction of Mr. Daniel Frohman an artis tic presentation may bo expected. The play ran all last year at tbe New York Lyceum The ater and proved an instantaneous bit. In Phil adelphia. Chicago and St Louis the critics were unanimous in their praise, and "The Char ity Ball" packed tbe theater nightly. Hannibal A Williams, of New York, will appear at Old City Hall this evening in the re cital of Shakespeare's great tragedy, "Julius Caisar." This promises to be a delightful en tertainment Mr. Williams will impersonate each of the characters, giving tbe entire play from memory. The meaning of the lines is clearly given, and the spirit of the play proper ly presented. His effort aside from its elocu tionary excellence. Is considered a marvelous exhibition of memory. Every character is per fectly presented, every line Is spoken from memory. Tickets may be procured at Mellor & Hoene's. "Sczette" is the opera for to-night at the Duquesne, and was written expressly for tbe Bostomans by Oscar Weil, and is entirely original. The" cast is very strong, and affords exceptional opportunities for tbe entire com pany, especially Marie Stone who assumes the title role. that of a rollicking tom-boy,and makes aUthatisposibla outoftbe part Tbe bal ance of the cast includes Jessie Bartlett Davis. W. H. MacDonald. Edwin W. Hoff, George Frothlnghara and Fred. Dixon. "Shenandoah," tbe brilliant revival of Bronson Howard's greatest play, at tbe Bijou next week, bas already attracted attention, as 'Shenandoah's" second visit to any city always creates a furore. More interest will be shown when It is known tbat tbo exact original New York cast will appear at this production, and even now this week tbey are concluding tbeir second great run in New York City,from which place they come direct. CURIOUS CONDENSATIONS. France's best market for red wine is the Argentine Republic. Of the 13 islands in the Sandwich group only eigbt aro inhabited. A band stand isoneoftfie luxuries in tbe new Chicago Grand Central station. When completed, the new St. Louis Union depot will be tbe largest in tbe country. All over Mexico, except near the United States border, prices of coal range from 310 to S18 per ton. When George III. was crowned, a largo emerald fell from his crown; America was lost in his reign. Some philosopher has figured out that it the sun were a burning sphere of solid coal it could not last 6,000 years. Skeletons can be seen in the old Spanish graveyard at St Augustine, whero time has washed away the coverings to the bones buried there. All the postoffices in Italy receive money on deposit aliowinc interest at the rate of S per cent per annum, and a dividend paid every rive years. A Kansas man made a small fortune last season on potatoes. When asked how be did it he answered: "1 planted them, and then I tended them." While the United States had but 11 per cent of its area covered by forests, the Em pire of Germany has 20 per cent of its entire area so covered. It took ten men and boys to handle a drove of 200 turkeys that Butcher Amos Nace drove through the town of Chalfout Becks county, a few days ago. When a Baptist elder, in Sedalia, Mo., read tbe predictions of a cold wave he post poned tbe baptismal ceremonies of ten candi dates to some more propitious time. The parrot has not the monopoly of the power of talking among birds. Tbe mynab. a species of starling, is very imitative and says "Good morning" very plainly in response to a 3alutation. A Missouri exchange finds fault with the annual report of Postmaster General Wan amiker because it fails to furnish information regarding the progress of the Sunday school work of tbe country. The Mayor of Lexington, Mo., ha3 started a move among towns with populations between 2,500 and 5.000 to get into the Australian ballot family. A meeting of Mayors is soon to be held in tbat town. The Private Soldiers Monument oa Libby Hill at Richmond will be a reproduction of Porapey's Pillar at Alexandria, Egypt sur mounted by a bronze nzure of a Confederate infantryman musket in hand. Agreat deal of complaint was being made in Germany over the smuggling into the Em pire tbrongh Holland of American bacon, and steps are being taken to put a stop to it but it Beems that it cannot be entirely prevented. That section of the county along tbe Berks and Lehizh railroad Is tbe great potato growing district of Berks county, and it is esti mated that this year's crop in a few townships in that section amounted to over 100,000 bushels, An Alliance man was chosen police judge of St. John. Kan., and the "boys" pro ceeded to initiate bim by bringing up a couple for marriage, the bride being a well-known younir man who was attired in women's clothes. The band found in a trash pile at At lanta Friday belonged to a railroad man named Nasb. Dr. Westmoreland had ampu tated it from Nash's arm last Sunday nicht But bow it got to tbe public trash dump no body knows. To fell a large mahogany tree is one day's task for two men. On account of tbo wide spars which project from tbe trunk at its base, scaffolds have to be erected and tbe tree cut off above tbe spurs, which leave a stump from 10 to 15 feetnigh a waste of the very best wood. A Hannibal, Mo., citizen who was an noyed by the "town cows," strung a bare cop per wire around his yard and attached it to the electric wire with a switch connection. Before going to bed be turned on the current Next morning there were two dead cows on his flower beds. "There is not a railroad in this country to-day," says a railroad publication, "where tbe Kcigbts of Labor could order a strike and carry it There is not one afraid of them in tha least, and most ot them have ODenlydischarged all Knlzhts from their rolls. It is tha lull ol a once great order." There are about 40 citizens of the United States residing in Milan. They are not at tracted there by the climate, by the public in stitutions, or by business opportunities, but solely by tbe renutation tbat Milan has for the training ot operatic singers, and for tbo study of vocal music in general. About one-twentieth part of Costa Eica is under cultivation or in use as pasture land, three-twentieths has been reduced to pos session as private property and three twentieths bas been granted to various foreign corporations; tbe remainder may be considered as public lands, obtainableby whom soever tbey sbould be denounced in the form prescribed by law. A Georgia man named Gough had a pet dog which usually, like "Mary's little lamb," wherever hi3 master went be was "sure to go." The other day the dog disappeared, and Mr. Gough's last recollection of blm was about his press while he waa packing a bale of cotton. Sure enough, tbe dog had found bis way into tbe press, and went down with tbe cotton. Of course he was killed. An old hen in one of the suburbs of Chicago bas been trying with all the earnest ness of her nature for several weeks to hatch something from a ball of twine, a piece of corn cob and a piece of dry putty. Her owner has given np tryine to dissuade ber trom the job, and is now awaiting the result of tha incuba tion with as much anxiety as the old heu her self. So-called "automatic" rifles have been made from which it is possible to fire seven rounds in one second. In these theforce of tha recoil is utilized to eject the old shell and in sert anew one, close the breech and fire; tbls bo lug continued until tbe magazine Is emptied. To do all this it is onlynecessarytoload once, cock tbe hammer and pull the trigjrer once. The re mainder of tbe cartridges in tbe magazine are then fired automatically. As science bas advanced and..the world has become more and more known, problems have been formulated which can be solved only by observations in the regions of the poles; and it is hardly possible to study geology, me teorology, physical geography and many other sciences without being stopped by important quostions. which can be answered only in the Arctic or Antarctic regions, and in regard to which we can offer now nangbt but uncertain bypotbesl. It is related of one of the engineers of tbe Georgia Southern that be ran bis train to Falatka one night recently on schedule time under adverse circumstances. Just after leav ing Valdosta tbe lamp exploded In the head light and occasioned considerable alarm for a short time and what might have been a serious affair was only averted by tha coolness and presence of mind of' tbe engineer. Noticing tbat all was not right ahead be sprang from bis seat and ran along tbe moving Iron horse to tha front when, npon opening the headlight ha was confronted by ablaze that proved threat ening in aspect Nothing daunted he burled the burnine missile into a ditch and ran his train Jo this city, 150 miles, by tbe light of tha moon. THE SPICE OF LIFE. "Children," said their mother, "yon must go ont of doors if yon want to play. You will disturb your father In the next room." "What is he doln'r" 'He is deeply engaged in literary work, my child, and be needs absolute quiet" "Wrltln a book?" More difllenlt than that my dear," answered the mother. In a hushed tone. "He Is trying to read a dialect story In one of the magazines." Chicago Tribune. Tomdik (indicating a passer-by) Fiva years ago tbat man bad hut 110 to bis name. jlcCIammy How much has ha now? ToindlK Nothing. ErerT thing he bas is In his wife's name Chicago Inter Ocean. "Clara," said her father, "didn't I tell you some time ago not to have young Dudelga coming here seven nights a week?" "Yes; and be doesn't come seven nights a week any longer. Last week he was here only six nights and twoaKernoons." SarrU town Herald, Editor (to poet) What is yonr address? Poet That depends on you. Editor-How so? Poet If you take this poem my address will ro-. malnHWl East Nine Hundred and Forty-second street; If you don't take it 1 won't have any ad dress. Life. McAllister Have you read my auto blographT? btanley Wbat have you ever accomplished that you should write an aatlblograpny? McAUister-Well-I have wntttn this aatl biography. Fuck. I J j&Mmtoiaxliki N - -: