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THE PITTSBURG- DISPATCH, SATURDAY, DECEMBER 6, 1890.
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PITTSBURG, SATURDAY'. DEC. 6, 1SD0.
EXTENSIVE KIVER IMPROVEMENTS.
The outline of tbe plan for river improve
ment set forth in the series of articles in
The Dispatch, is given in the second of
the series, published in ibis issue. As will
beseen by reading it, it does not propose only
the storage of surplus water in reservoirs at
the head waters of the various streams, al
though that is the characteristic feature and
the starting point, as it were, of the entire
system. It adds thereto the use of caissons
and jettief to deepen the channel and re
move shoaling; of movable locks and dams
to preserve an even depth of water where
they are ready; of docks and harbors for the
unloading of vessels and their safety during
floods; and of cut-offs to shorten the navi
gable distance wherever practicable. By
the combination of these methods of im
provement, the originator of the plan aims
nt the high mark of making the principal
rivers navigable for sea-going vessels; the
secondary streams steadily navigable for
river steamers; and the smaller ones for
barges and light draft steamers.
The merits and demerits of this plan from
the engineering point of view can be judged
more clearly as its details are brought out
in subsequent articles of the series. But as to
the importance of the aim it is pertinent to
say that it cannot be over estimated. The
colossal blunder of this country during the
last half of the century so gigantic as to
make it nearly if not quie a public crime,
has been the neglect of its water transpor
tation. By permitting railway policy to
close up canals and force the disuse of the
rivers we have laid ourselves open to the
whole train of corporate abuses, a great
share of which would have been impossible
if the competition of water transportation
had been maintained as a live and constant
commercial force. As the writer of these
articles well says, we are not to blame the
individuals who have inflicted these abuses
so much as the public apathy which has
permitted conditions to grow up that make
manipulation, stock watering and favoritism
the sure road to great fortune and unlimited
power.
Xo greater public work and no more
legitimate use for Government funds, in the
work of internal improvement, can be
found, than one which will restore water
transportation to the vast territory of the
Mississippi. The further details of this
lan will be charged with the highest in
terest and importance.
THE EEGBEATURK'S VIEWS.
The views of the members of the State
Legislature upon the Erie Ship Canal,
which will be found in another column, are
on the whole favorable to the project, al
though there are signs of pronounced oppo
sition in some quarters. The majority of
the Legislators heard from express a desire
for information about the canal, which will
be satisfied in due time when the commis
sion's report is published. The Allegheny
county delegation and the Representatives
of "Western Pennsylvania generally will be
practically a phalanx for the canal when it
comes before the Legislature.
TIEATES-G OP STREET CARS.
The subject of heating street cars is agitat
ing some of our exchanges in other cities,
notably the Buffalo and Eochester press.
One party opposes the street car stove on the
ground of the vileness and impurity of
the air produced by it, while the argument
of one paper on the other side is to the effect
that people have contracted colds by leaving
the warm rooms of their homes and sitting
for 10 to 23 minutes in cars, the atmosphere
of which was often far below freezing point.
The Buffalo Courier re-inforce: this assertion
by saying that some of the Buffalo routes
are an hour long, which gives us a novel
idea of the illustration of time and eternity
furnished by Buffalo transit. The same
rpaper also asserts that the temperature of
the air has nothing to do with its purity.
That people should not be expected to sit
still in extremely cold weather during pro
tracted street car rides without some artifi
cial warmth has long been a generally
accepted proposition in Pittsburg. But it
is pertinent to say in connection with these
assertions that many more colds are canght
by reason of overheated cars and rooms,
than from those which are underheated.
This is often illustrated iu our suburban
accommodation trains where fires arc kept
up with such a sublime disregard of the
temperature outside, that people going from
them into the open air of even moderate
weather are more apt to take cold than if
THE DISPATCH
Wht Bi&Dafclj.
there had been no fire at all. Likewise
while such a thing as pure, warm air is pos
sible, it is no less true that many of the ap
pliances for heating cars seem to be built on
the principle that to heat the atmosphere in
volves its utter vitiation.
Cars should be heated in cold weather;
but there is still a vast room lor improve
ment both in the means used to furnish the
heat, and in the intelligence employed to
suit their use to the natural temperature.
A SEASON FOR ACTIOX.
"When industries are prosperous, trade ac
tive, and the means for the execution of
great enterprises abundant, then is the time
for cities which have the opportnnity, to
set their future upon firm and unshakable
foundations. This applies directly to
Pittsburg, and the ship canal project. That
project approaches maturity at a time when
the city and the kindred interests surround
ing have been realizing the benefits of great
volume and uninterrupted activity in busi
ness. It is seen how the whole community
prospers when the mills and manufactories
are running. Any feasible project that
will enlarge their work and lend to their
greater profit becomes at once a vital busi
ness matter to ail classes, mw
That ample water communication with the
lakes, by which cargoes could be sent there
or brought here unbroken, would in the
present state of crowded railways and high
freight charges be of great permanent bene
fit to the leading industries of "Western
Pennsylvania no one can seriously question.
Some who are naturally doubtful about all
undemonstrated undertakings satisfy an in
dolent disposition by questioning whether a
ship canal can be built; but the assurances
of the engineers tvho have specially exam
ined the route so far as they have got, set
these doubts aside. Others do not exactly
see how the money can be raised; but if the
enterprise gives promise of large benefits,
the means, we doubt not, will eventually be
found if they are earnestly enough sought.
At first sight it might seem to the super
ficial observer that the railroads would
antagonize the ship canal; but, of all the
interests concerned, the railroads doing busi
ness with Pittsburg would be the greatest
gainers by the addition to the general traffic
of the place. The real estate of the two
cities which is now valued at nearly three
hundred million dollars, would, similarly,
be a beneficiary to an extent which its
owners have hardly yet begun to dream of.
The benefits to manufacturers in the ship
ment of their raw material and finished pro
duct are apparent.
"With its vast supplies of coal, this region
will doubtless always have pre-eminence as
the manufacturing center of the continent.
But the more reason why it should be up
and stirring to take advantage ot whatever
tends to make the favorable situation
doubly secure. Because a project is a little
larger than any undertaken hitherto is no
reason why it should fail of earnest support,
if the benefits promise to be commen
surate. The Dispatch bespeaks careful
attention for the details of the ship-canal
problem as the State Commission will un
fold them before the Legislature this winter.
If, as we think will be the case, they com
mend themselves to the business judgment
of the community, we trust everybody will
take a hand and go iu for all the benefits
that can be gotten from water-communication
with the lakes. In proportion to the
size and importance of the interests now to
be affected, the idea relatively is hardly
more difficult of execution than was the
slack watering of the Monongahela or the
building of the railroads in the old days.
The vista of benefits for all classes here
seems to us varied, far-reaching and
very inviting.
CRUEL FRAUDS IN BERLIN.
The frauds and fleecing under cover of
the excitement caused by the Koch discov
ery of a cure for consumption are just what
might have been expected. The cable news
to-day contains a warning picture of the
scandalous overcharges of the Berlin doc
tors and the deceits practiced by swindlers
upon the consumptives who have flocked to
Berlin in the hope of procuring some of the
precious lymph. Americans in particular
will be wise to wait for the new treatment
to be brought here.
THE WORD MTSATTIJED.
The disposition of the unthinking public
to call everything a "trust,".is unfortun
ately illustrated by the wide application of
the term to the recently chartered organiza
tion in the Bast to start cheap lodging
houses. Prom the very nature of this
organization it not only was entirely free
from the feature ot attaining the establish
ment of an irresponsible monopoly, by put
ting all the productive property of in
dustry in the hands of trustees; but the very
nature of the business makes any approach
to monopoly absolutely.impossihle. On the
face it seems to be charitable rather
than a money-making project Yet several
newspapers are calling this certainly harm
less project a trust, meaning a monopoly,
while entirely neglecting the great combina
tions, or treating them with undisguised
respect.
ruAcncABurrr of sunken tvats.
Among the interesting abstractions with
which the Philadelphia Eapiu Transit Com
mission is occupying its sessions, was the
presentation at its last meeting of the views
of Mr. George B. Boberts, President of the
Pennsylvania Railroad, on the engineering
aspects of rapid transit Mr. Boberts'
opinion was in brief that the high rate of
speed required for real rapid transit cannot
be attained on the surface of streets with
safety to other street travel. Underground
or elevated roads are therefore required, but
the cost of either is so great that in most
cases it-is necessary to put up with the ap
proximation that is to be got most cheaply for
low grade lines, by electric roads. His
preference in the abstract would be to have
the railways put underground with electric
wires and sewers; but while it might be
done in the thickly populated districts it
would be a financial impossibility in the
suburbs."
This last statement of Mr. Boberts indi
cates that he has mistaken the object to be
aimed at in getting rapid transit lines be
low the surface. It is not necessary that
such lines should be made continuous tun
nels shut out from the light of day, from
terminus to terminus. The practical pur
pose of putting lines below the surface can
be attained by sunken ways, except where
property is so valuable that it would be a
good investment to erect buildings over the
lines. This fact would make it much more
economical to run each line through the
suburbs on grades which will carry the
streets crossings over the railroads than to
elevate the roads for the entire distance.
Of course such a line will cost far more than
electric roads on the streets; but, as Mr.
Boberts has pointed out, no street surface
road can give the speed required. The point
which is worth recognizing in this connec
tion is that where real rapid transit is de
sired, the combination of sunken and
. ii i -i r ilrfiirygfa---. A.jMiMitr.jto aeaesaif a.c - - : ..jia- -tJttrtinw jffir,-. . aA.a-.i.i:Ai wtL., ..v.'s
v . .. -c - : ., .-bj-: . . . . .... t . . .-.. -,t m
underground roads is more economical in
the long run than elevated roads.
The best evidence of the practicability of
such sunken roads is to be found in the
actual condition of .things on some of the
lines under Boberts' own management. The
Fort Wayne road through the Allegheny
parks and from the outer depot to Superior
station is practically such a sunken road.
The Pennsylvania Bailroad line from
Twenty-eighth street to East Liberty, with
the exception of one crossing that could be
changed at slight expense, is a very favora
ble example of the same sort; and the Pan
handle road from Sheridan station to Idle
wood only falls a little short of the standard.
The Fort "Wayne road at very little more
expense than the cost of an elevated road
could be made a continuous sunken way
from Verner station to the bridge over the
Allegheny; the Pennsylvania Bailroad at
even less expenses could extend the same
benefit as far as Brushton or "Wilkinsburg.
The effect of such an arrangement on the
public is shown by the fact that the land
in the vicinity of the sunken ways is among
the most elegible residence property of this
section; while the neighborhoods where
tracks are elevated above the surlace, as
along Liberty street on the Pennsylvania
or the Fort "Wayne from Anderson street to
the bridge, are among the most ineligible.
As for the respective advantages of sunken
and elevated ways to the corporation build
ing a line, it may be that the former would
cost more under some circumstances, al
though through suburban sections that
seems improbable. But even if the first cost
was greater, the fact that its road bed rests
on terra firma and the enduring nature of
its track more than compensates any saving
that might be made by elevating the track
on a structure that must wear out, under
slow disintegration and the effect of vibra
tion, and where any mishap either by decay
or by carelessness would be attended with
fearful possibilities, will in the end be
proved false economy.
We think that a careful and impartial
study of the subject, both as regards rapid
transit and the admission of ordinary rail
roads in the cities will show that in the vast
majority of cases it will be a more economi
cal, satisfactory and permanent improve
ment to elevate the streets above the rail
roads than to elevate the railroads above the
streets.
THE DEXAMATER FAILURE.
The failure of the banking firm of Dela
mater & Co., in Meadville, attracts more at
tention than it naturally would because of
the defeated Gubernatorial candidate's con
nection with the bank. The causes of this
untoward event and in a measure its prob
able effects are shrouded in doubt The
State and Crawford county are said to be
among the bank's creditors, and for con
siderable sums, but the reputed wealth of
the Delamater connection renders a satis
factory liquidation probable.
THE NECESSITX OF SAFEGUARDS.
The fact that on two successive nights
fires in the lower part of the city have re
sulted in the loss of human life, contains a
most impressive lesson on the necessity of
better construction of buildings in order to
guard against fatalities. It is satisfactory
to note that these casualties occurred in
buildincs of a past style of construction, and
therefore convey no arraignment of the
better class of buildings that is now erected.
But the disclosure of the hazird to life as
well as property in the older style of build
ings, suggests the question whether the in
spection that is designed to prevent danger
in buildings of late erection is not of equal
necessity in the structures that were put np
in earlier times.
The two fatal fires of this week illustrate
the disregard of two rules of vital import
ance. One is that there should be ample
exits for all buildings above the size of an
ordinary dwelling; and the other is that
walls of the -larger buildings should be
built so that they will not fall with a fire.
There is reason to hope that both these ob
jects are measurably obtained in the mod
ern structures; but it is a question of vital
interest how far the same dangers may be
reproduced in the vast number of structures
erected twenty or thirty years ago. As to
those of even older date, it may be taken
as a practical certainty that a majority of
them are death-traps.
There may be a question as to the power
to enforce the improvement of such build
ings, but there can be no question that as a
matter of public policy the power should be
lodged somewhere to prevent the recurrence
of these disasters.
An example of the "reforms" which the
Gould management is going to establish in the
Union Pacific Is famished by its continued dis
cbarges of men from the employment of that
company. It was very well known that, under
the Adams management, the road had Its facil
ities fully taxed, and Mr. Adams was trying to
increase the value ot tbe property by increas
ing its facilities. Mr. Gould Is evidently will
ing to reform this policy altogether, and repeat
the course of the Central Pacific management
by letting the Union Pacific go to pieces while
the Missouri Pacific does all the business.
Me. McKinley is quoted as saying that
"patronage is always au element ot weakness
to a party in power." The Dispatch said
that long ago. Perhaps it would have been
more useful if Mr. McKinley could have im
pressed it on his associates before the elections
Instead of reserving it as an explanation of
what hit him.
We are gratified to observe our esteemed
cotemporary, the Philadelphia Inquirer, ener
getically indorsing President White's idea tbat
municipal affairs should be reformed by keep
ing them separate from tho machinery of na
tional politics. We hope that tbe esteemed
Inquirer will be so thoroughly convinced of the
truth of this principle tbat tbe next time it is
proposed to disregard party lines on local issues
it will not consider itsolf tied to the party ma
chine. Now It is alleged that the Brown-Sequard
elixir will euro consumption. Perhaps it may,
but from tho experiments at the time of its
greatcstvogue there remains the doubtwhether
it will not do so by the heroic method of killing
the patient.
Judge Baep.ett, of New York, has de
cided that an income of J15.000 for a Judge is
only sufficient for his support; tbat none of it
can be set aside to pay his debts. Tbe
necessaries of New York judicial life seem to
be so costly that our Democratic fr'.endsmay
be expected to remark tbat tbe McKinley bill
has been getting in its fell work once more.
The lordly iceman rnled the roost during
tbe heated term, but he was hardly a marker
on the lofty height from which the retail coal
dealer now listens to the supplications of cus
tomers for a few loads of coal.
The movement in favor of high license in
Massachusetts evokes the approval of the New
York World, which avers tbat "prohibition is
hypocrisy." But is not high license hypoc
risy also, when illicit liqnor selling is per
mitted to flourish unchecked. The hypocrisy
of unenforced laws is about as glaring in one
case as in the other.
An estimate of the sum which each dead
Indian will cost tbe Government in case a war
sbonld break ont may demonstrate the fact
that it would be cheaper to feed the savages.
Among the expressive demonstrations
that there are limits beyond which endurance
ceases to bo a virtne, are tbe figures of John L.
Sullivan protesting against the lowering of tbe
dramatic profession by making Era Hamilton
a star, and Jay Gould expressing his dis
approval of tho stock-watering and manipula
tion of the trusts.
PBOMIHENT PERSONALS.
Charles Dudley Waenee will sail with
his family for Havre by the steamer La Cham
pagne, which leaves to-day.
Buffalo Bill was born In Chester county,
Pa., and comes of good old Quaker stock. Both
his father and mother were Quakers.
It is said tbat Minister Beid expends 127,000
per annum for the rent of his house in Paris,
which is 10,000 more than his total salary.
The Sultan of Turkey looks much like Jay
Gould, except that he is somewhat taller than
the Wall street wizard and bis nose is a trifle
more prominent.
Mb. Stanley has recently become a member
of the English Society for Psychical Research,
a branch of which is to be organized in New
York City next Monday.
Iseael L. Landis. of Lancaster, Pa., an in
ventor of some note, has been honored with a
corresponding honorary membership in the In
ventors' Academy of Pans.
Henry George announces that he will re
tire from tbe Standard, of which be is editor
and proprietor, at tbo close of this year, in or
der to gain freedom for what he regards as
more important and permanent work.
If she is not taking so well as she used to
with the London public, Mrs. Langtry is being
taken more extensively than ever in a photo
graphicway. She recently sat for pictures in
CO different positions, a feat the photographer
declared, that had never before been accom
plished. It is said tbat the President regards the
custom of distributing consolation prizes in tbe
way of fat offices to members who have been
beaten at the polls while striving to carry
through great issues, as vicious in the extreme.
He thinks it weakens tbe Republican bold
upon the districts and sets a bad example for
future campaigns.
Queen Emma, of Holland, who will he
Regent during tho minority of the Princess
Wilbelmina, has greatly endeared herself to
the Dutch people by her domestic qualities.
She has been a most attentive nurse to her hus
band, and is a singularly wise and devoted
mother. She has also bestowed much atten
tion upon politics, and is well fitted to fill the
position she will soon assume.
Dr. Kbhusd J. James, Professor in the
University of Pennsylvania, has been offered
the Chair of Political Economy in Harvard
University. Prof. James, one of the best known
of the young American economists, was born
in Illinois in 1855. After an extensive course of
college and university study in the West and
East he went to Europe, whore he took the
doctor's degree at the University of Halle, in
Prussia.
PLEASED A LABOE AUDIENCE.
Hearty Welcome Tendered the Favorite
FIsk Juhlleo Singers.
It is refreshing, a genuine pleasure, to hear
once again those ringing and pleasing gospel
songs of the Fisk Jubilee Singers. At Old
City Hall, last evening, this corps of nine col
ored students rendered a very acceptable pro
gramme, composed of such songs as "Rise,
Shine and Give God tbo Glory," "Old Ark a
Movenng," "Hard Trials," "Swing Low, Sweet
Chariot," and other selections of a similar
character, so popular a dozen years ago, when
this band of young men and women made a
tour of the leading colleges of the North. At
that time their object was to raise money for
their University down in Tennessee, and so
nicely did they catch favor with the many who
love the quaint, weird harmony of negro mel
ody and songs, that, having successfully carried
out the object ot their earlier efforts, they reor
ganized in their own behalf.
Tbo company, as now composed, contains but
few of the original members. Their fjrst
pianist and their tenor, who introduced the
hymn "Almost Persuaded," are the most nota
ble absentees. The entertainment was given as
one of the series in tbo Plttsbure Star.Conrse,
and a large audience was in attendance, whose
frequent ana vigorouse applause cained many
an extra number. Tbe next entertainment will
be on December 11, and New York's (Treat
Shakespearean reader, Mr. Hannibal A. Will
iams, will appear in a recital of "Julius Cajsar."
A SUCCESS IN EVEBY WAY.
The Christmas Market at Semple's Hall
Closes Satisfactorily.
The success of the "Christmas Market" on the
opening day was greatly augmented yesterday
afternoon and last evening, and the ladies are
congratulating themselves this morning, as
they sip their coffee and read the accounts of
their affair, tbat it is over, and tbat a snug little
sum of cash in their possession remains as
tangible evidence of the supcessful reality as
well as weariness and bodily fatigue. There
is no use denying tbe fact that a chnrch bazaar
and supper for two days means any amount of
exertion and worry, and this one. especially,
meant considerable of both, for it was of such
magnitude and perfection.
The now Westminster Presbyterian Church is
the gainer rinanclally.
A LONG LOOK BACKWARD.
John A. Brashear! Lecture at the Academy
of Science and Art.
At the regular monthly meeting of tbe
Academy of Science and Art, last night, John
A. Brashear entertained the members with a
paper entitled "Fifty Years of Astronomical
Photograpy," a subjeet that .few men could
handle more cleverly.
Illustrations from Mr. Brashear's private
collection of astronomical photographs, with
lantern slides by the most eminent astronomical
photographers In the world, were shown, with
pleasing effect by Mr. Brashear in connection
with his talk.
Opera at the Duquc8.no.
"L'Africame" was given at tbe Duquesno
Theater last night before a very large audience
in a most artistic manner. Verdi's over popu
lar and melodious opera, "II Trovatore," will
be given atthematineo to-day with Madame
Januschowsny, Miss Meisiinger, Mr. Clarke,
Mr. StormontandMr. Knieht In the leading
roles. Richard Wagner's "Plying Dutchman"
will bo presented in the evening with Miss
J uch in her famous role of Senta and with Miss
Meisiinger, Mr. Rattyens, Mr. Vetta, Mr.
Clarke and Mr. Stephens also in the cast. This
performance will bo tho most interesting of the
week and will bo a fitting finale of a grand
series of operatic productions.
DEATHS OP A DAY.
Captain E. H. H. Stackpole.
Habbisbubo, Dec S. -Captain . 11. u. Stack
pole. Superintendent of Public Grounds, died at
his old home In McVeytown at noon to-day after a
long illness. Deceased represented Mifflin county
in the Legislature In 1877-'78. In 18S1 he'was con
nected with the State Treasury, and In 1883 was
made Superintendent of Public Grounds. Ho
was agea 54 years, and his grandparents were
anions the first settlers In the Juniata Valley.
Dr. George F. Larimer.
rEFKCIAL TELEGRAM TO THK DISPATCS.1
Braddoce. Dee. S. The death of George F.
Larimer occurred at his residence In North Brad
dock this morning at S o'clock, very suddenly.
Mr. Larimer had been 111 for about one year with
dropsy and heart trouble. This morning he got
unto obtain a drink ofwater and fell oyer dead.
The deceased was the son of Colonel James T.
Larimer and nephew of the late General William
Larimer.
Mrs. Margaret "Watson, Centenarian.
Milton, Dec- 5. Mrs. Margaret Watson died
yesterday at McEwensville, near here, agedlOO
years. Sbe was the oldest person in this county,
fane was born in Union county, and moved to Mc
fcwensvillewhen 10 years pld. She retained her
mental faculties unimpaired np to the time of her
death,
Mrs. Ttosanna Douthett Small.
Mrs. Kosanna Douthett Small, widow of the late
Jailer Small, died yesterday at her home on Fay
ette street, at the age of 79 years, ahe was born
at Woods Itun when it was only a wilderness.
Mrs. Small had a host of friends, who always
knew her to be a kind and charitable lady.
Mm. Caroline McCarthy.
Mrs. Caroline McCarthy died yesterday at the
residence of W. E. McCarthy, No. 5105 Liberty
avenue, at the age or 67 years. Tbe funeral wUt
occur to-morrow at McVeytown.
Sir John W. Huddleston, Jurist.
LONDON, Dec. S.-SIr John Walter Huddleston,
the ramous Irish Jurist. late member of the House
of Commons for Norwich and a Baron of the Court
of Exchequer, Is dead.
Mrs. McConnell.
Mrs. McConnell died yesterday afternoon at the
Wllklnsburs Home for Aged Women, she was
aged S3 years. The funeral will occur to-morrow
aiternoon at a o-ciirc.
l
SNAP SHOTS IN SEASON.
Women spend a great deal of time in reflec
tion. It comes from a looking glass, however.
SrMPATHKTic, aren't weT How a calamity
startles us, to be sure. One life lost in a cruel,
sudden way, and a big city full shudders. Bud
den sorrow shocks. - Something presses the but
ton which sends a thrill to tho hearts of all
alike. And how swift It flies swift as thought,
swift as sight, swift as light. Only one. two,
three, perhaps, out of tens of thousands are
hurried horribly through tbe shadow, but these
are enough" to kindle the spark of sympathy
and quicken the heart beats of the living. Lips
tremble telling the tale, eyes moisten during
the recital. You never heard ot the
victim, never saw tho spot stained by
his suffering, were In total ignorance of tbe
catastrophe at tbe time of its occurrence, but,
all the same, you sympathize, don't youT So,
on through tho length and breadth of the great
throbbing town. The smoke shuts out the life
and the flame curls over tbe crave. You feel
then that life is but a slender thread, whicn
can be snapped by lire and flood, by
wind and wave, in between breaths. Then you
ask of the living the weepers left by the
sleepers. You want to offer them your sym
pathy, of course. You don't know them, you
could not pick them out in the street, but you
know they belong to the great human family,
and your heart declines to stand .on formality.
Social forms vanish under sorrow's shock. A
disaster binds a city closer. A calamity cements
a nation. A horror links the whole world.
Hearts for sympathy, hands for succor. Prayer
for the dead, provision for the living.
Close readers of the newspapers must be of
the opinion that the rascals are not all in jaiL
After we got one-cent postage some people
will want Uncle Sam to lick the stamp.
A whale was seen in Chesapeake Bay the
other day. Now look out for reports of de
vastated oyster beds.
Saved by a Word.
"Why, what's the matter, Charley, dear?
Pray tell me. darling, please!"
'What is that? 'Darling' did I heart
You've cured my heart disease!"
The Sioux merely sue for a piece of meat,
but the soldiers won't have it that way.
A force bill The policeman's city warrant,
Mrs. O'Shea must know by this time that
Farnell has a tongue and a temper, too.
The Rosebud Waltz would be a catching
title for a new piece of dance music The sug
gestion is not copyrighted.
A Timely Recipe.
Wrap your water pipes in flannels,
Plug your chinky window sill;
Stop the cracks in kitchen panels.
And you'll save a plumber's bill.
Bob Inoeesoll says the Democrats always
hold four aces when there's nothing in the
pot. Not a dollar this time, at all events.
Why not send out a little German band to
play for the ghost dancers. This would stop
them.
A SIGN of the present Christmas.
Me. Fayebweathers will has given J200,
000 to Columbia College. We hope the weather
is fair where he is sojourning.
The Kansas City Councilmen have cut a Mel
lon. It may be melancholy business for some
of them.
The Indians want
thirst for blood.
meat, but the soldiers
Governor Pattison's Cabinet, as an
nounced in The Dispatch a couple of weeks
ago, still stands.
Knows No North Nor South.
Down in the South the birds are singing.
Green buds are bursting, flowers springing
In summer air;
Up in the North tbe snow is falling.
The Ice o'er sluggish stream is crawling,
Frost everywhere.
Down in the South, mid tropic bowers.
The lovers stroll and pluck sweet flowers
To twine in balr;
Up in the North, where warm tires glow,
Rare roses on tbe maid's cheeks grow,
Love's everywhere.
Opportunities are not scheduled on life's
time card, but only the sluggards miss them.
There's many a slip between the home and
tbe shop nowadays. Go slow.
If the girl you adore has a rich mind, don't
bother yourself about a dowry.
Eva Hamilton is going to play tbo dutiful
daughter at home, and thus help to elevate the
stage.
There may be flaws in tbe flues. Don't go
to bed and leave the gas on full head.
A man has killed himself because he had
more money than he wanted. He was built on
different lines than Jay Gould.
Voorhees says the newspaper men turn on
tbe light in dark places. The Senator's head is
level on this point.
Tho Way of the World.
Some want to banish cigarettes.
Some want to stop election bets;
Some want to give us racing pools.
Some want to separate tbe schools;
Some want to crush thearer hats,
Some want to keep up baseball spats;
Some want to poison all tbe dogs,
Some want to read all Stanley's logs;
Some want to have an Indian war.
Some want to close up every bar;
Some want to tell us when to rest,
Some want to coax us to invest; v
Some want to set tho social pace,
Some want to run the human race;
Now if they only would keep quiet
The world would wag along all right,
And life would not be such a fight.
Nonsense is the straw that tickles humanity
the world over.
authors are placed on the same footing as
inventors under the copyright law. It is a
righteous measure.
Aback stoop on a house is all right, but a
stooped back on a man is all wrong.
People crossed in love are apt to be very
cross afterward.
The window glass trust talk must give the
public a pane.
Pistols, Not Flams, Now.
Little Jack Horner sat In a corner
Handling a Christmas toy;
Alas', for poor Jack, it went off with a crack,
Pity tho wounded boy.
This Is the age of reason, but, hang it, there
seems to be too many reasoners.
Now the correspondents say the Indians are
sleeping on their guns. It's dollars to dough
nuts that they're sleeping on their arms.
Washington notes New bills
Bureau of Engraving and Printing.
from the
It's easier to tell a lie than to detect the liar.
A Time for Tears.
When tho burglar breaks into the banlfc
And manages to skin it.
The cashier utters blankety blank,
Because be wasn't in it.
There are several mills in a dollar,
millions of dollars in mills hereabout.
also
Magistrates can impose a heavy sentence
at light hearings if the crime warrants one.
Eve never worried Adam because her gown
didn't set nicely in the back.
This is the season when careless people set
houses on fire in order to keep warm.
Scientific ghost dances are con dor tad by
J
'T,
?
:"tSiai&Lkw
They are
In Ireland a stage supe Is a broth of a boy.
It's hard to tell yet whether Parnellwill
lecture, go on tho stage or retire to private life.
Some people try to make us believe that life
is a game of bluff. They go to pieces when
forced to show their hands.
Willie Winkle.
CHRISTMAS COMING,
And Church Fairs and Bazaars Are Now
Very Much In Order Several That Re
sulted In Financial Successes A Pleas
ant Juvenile Party.
The new Shadyslde Presbyterian Church,
could it have been capable of feeling last
night, would have smiled complacently ovgr
the prospect of very handsome furnishings,
judging from the abundance of specie tbat
roiled into the coffers of the various apart
ments included in the Christmas Bazaar tbat
occupied the chapel, both afternoon and even
ing. The four seasons were represented in the ar
rangement of thebooths, autnmn being radiant
in russet, and bedecked with corn, wheat and
various fruits, and forming a dispensing place
J,r ,lce creaD and cake. The Misses
Lizzie Stevenson, Lydia Hays, Maude
Aiken, F. Rees, Rebecca Henshaw
and Mrs. York Smith officiating.
Winter was punty itself, with show and silver
trimmings, and appropriately was the head
qnarters for fancy work of all descriptions.
MicsM. Crooks, S. Borland. C. Kess, Nora
Smith, Clara Aiken and Miss Pitcairn were in
charge. Spring, in rose color, octagon-shape,
abounded with sweetmeats, and was presided
overhv Misses Burd, May Edwards. Eda Young
and Effle Smith. Bummer, in a wigwam, cov
ered with poppies and clover, was natnraliy
the booth of frnit, and Misses Sarah Faber,
Mattle Mcintosh and Ethel Acheson were the
maidens in charge.
Popcorn and peanuts formed a combination,
and In a double-gabled booth of golden hue
reigned undertbe dominion of Misses Mary
Hays. Mamie and Hannah Maxwell. Emma
McCUntock, Marsh Rees, May and Gertrude
Gerdes. j
Misses Daisy Borland.Florence Aiken. Nellie
Holmes and Mrs. Abraham Holmes, enshrined
in a bower of lemon color, dispensed lemonade,
and the fish-pond was in charge of Misses
Blanche Rees, Sevilla Friend and Blanche
Street.
Mfs-George B. Sterret, assisted by Masters
Will Hays and Bvran Sterret, successfully
managed the Punch and Judy show, and a
phonograph added to the cash receipts.
The "Old Woman That Lived in a Shoe" cer
tainly was in a deplorable state, with her fam
ily, in the early evening, but later on was con
siderably relieved by the adoption of two or
three dozen of her children. She was the guest
of Mrs. Dr. R. S. Holmes and Miss Rachel
Aiken.
PLEASTJEE FOE Y0UNO PEOPLE.
A Friday Evening Party That Was Blade
Highly Enjoyable.
Friday evening is tbe accepted one for social
events among the misses and masters who are
not yet ont of school, for Saturday morning's
sleep need not bo disturbed, and the youthrul
dissipators may indulge drowsiness until the
luncheon hour if inclination so prompts, thus
insuring clear minds and sweet tempers. It is
almost treasonable, though, to imagine that
any of the lovely yjung ladies or gallant young
gentlemen seen at the little dancing party
given last night by Miss Mary Brown could
ever have anything else but a sweet temper,
for smiles and sunshine beamed from each
face. But history and mammas affirm
that late hours without corresponding
rest in the morning, often result In souring
natural sweetness. So Miss Brown iu this, the
first of several parties she is going to give to
young friends this season, wisely selected the
not-too-favorably-tb.ought.of Friday, and to
those present the.day will, in the future, be en
tirely cleared of any unlucky odium that may
have been attached to it in the past.
The appointments of the affair were perfect,
the hostess charming and tho guests thoroughly
congenial, being a set that always cliques to
gether. Dancing from 8 to 11, and a delicious
supper, then the carriages were called. The
young ladies present were Misses Mary
Langhlln, Madeline Laughlin, Margaret Singer,
Agnes Dickson, Annie Scaife. Amy Watson,
Roselind Smith, Fannio Oliver, Alice Tindle,
Rebecca Darlington and Lizzie Chambers.
The masters were: Harry Patterson, Charlie
Speer, Charlie Scaife, Harry McCandless,
George Robinson, Harry Robinson, Eugene
Messier, Arthnr Bell, John Rlcketson, Carroll
Fitzhugb and George Morgan.
THEIR SECOND BANQUET.
Wllklnsburs Master Masons Feast at the
Seventh Avenne.
The Master Masons' Association, of Wilkins
burg, gave Its second annnal banquet at tbe
Seventh Avenue Hotel last evening. Most of
those present came In from tbo suburban town,
and they made quite a large crowd as they con
gregated for a moment in tbe Union depot.
About SO persons sat down at tbe feast, which
was well prepared and much appreciated by
the guests.
John S. B. Mercer is President of tho asso
ciation and acted as toast master. Mayor
Gourley made a very pleasing speech and was
followed by City Solicitor W. C. Moreland.
Two recitations were well delivered by E. S
McClelland. Miss Margaret A. Crouch sang
tbe "Cavatlna" and "La Giocondo." Both the
feasting and literary part of the programme
were very enjoyable.
BATTEEY E'S BIG BAZAAE
Tp he Opened hy an Address by the Mayor,
Monday Evening.
Battery Ks fa'ir opens at the Fifth Avenue
Market House on Monday night, when a special
programme of music and songwill be given by
the Brigade Band (Cathedral) and tho chorus
choir of tbe Fifth Avenue M. P. Church. An
address of welcome will be made by Mayor
Gourley, who will open the proceedings with
considerable pomp and ceremony.
The ball has been tastefully decorated with
flags and bunting, and liberal" donations of use
ful articles from city merchants will be exposed
for sale. Tbe admission Monday night will be
25 cents, and 10 cents thereafter.
The Stanley Lecture.
The uniform price of tickets for the Stanley
lecture will bo 81, and tbe statement that they
were to be sold for 81 and 81 50, and tbat alone
is in error. The general admission will be 81.
while reserved seats are held at 82 and S3, and
in addition there are to be 150 seats on tbe stage
at $5 each. The interest displayed in Mr. Stan
ley's coming.as evidenced by the manyinquiries
for tickets.) ndicates that standing room will ba
at a premium.
Theater Pa rty at the Duqnesne.
A theater party to which Mr. J. G. Kaeller,
the General Agent of the Western Electric
Company, was host, occupied a box at the
Duqnesne last evening. It was composed of
six gentlemen, whom the gonial New Yorker
wished to honor in return for the many favors
shown him. a stranger In the city. A dinner at
tbe Hotel Anderson followed.
A Semi-Monthly Dance.
The Allegheny Cotillion Club gavo another
of its semi-montbly dances at the Monongahela
House last evening. The ball closed with a
banquet.
Social Chatter.
The quarterly meeting of tho Connty W. C.
T. U. will bo held at Elizabeth on Tuesday
next. The delegates to the National Conven
tion recently held at Atlanta, Ga., will both
make reports.
Next Monday, at 10 o'clock A. M., Prof.
Byron W. King will present tbo subject of Elo
cution before the M. E. Ministerial Associa
tion, at its rooms on Smithfleld street.
Cards will soon be issued for a very largo
and elegant reception to be given next Friday
evening by Mrs. John Hays, of Sherman ave
nue, Allegheny.
"Our Country's Possibilities and Perils" is
the subject upon which J. DeWitt Miller will
lecture at tbe Third U. P. Church, Monday
evening.
AN open meeting that Is expected to be of
peculiar interest will be held by Patterson Post
157. G. A. R., next Thursday evening.
An afternoon euchre party was given yester
day by Mrs. George Deans, at her home on
Arch street, Allegheny.
Mrs. if. J. Close, of Terrace avenue, enter
tained with progressive euchre a number of
friends last night.
THE Linden Club gave its third progressive
euchre party last evening. There were 20
tables and six prizes.
The Allegheny German Club gave a dance
at the Monongahela House last evening, fol
lowed by a supper.
Mrs. MoNeal, of Frankstown avenne, en
tertained the Lincoln Avenue Euchre Club last
evening.
Mrs. James Irwin, of Neville street, gave
a charming euchre party last evening.
Mrs. John 'A. Brashear entertained a
small company yesterday afternoon.
The Selleueld Presbyterian, Church held a
social last evening. ,
Boston's Psychical Researchers,
cheaper than the Indian sort.
THE TOPICAL TALKER,
Dress Didn't Matter.
QRIES of 'flrer waked me." said a gentle
man who slept at the Seventh Avenue
Hotel on Thursday night, "and the noise of
the engines fell upon my ear as I jumped out of
bed. My room looked out upon the courtyard
of the hotel, and of course I could see nothing
when 1 ran to tbe wiudow. But the fire bells
and shouting continued, and when a call boy
knocked at my door saying that there was
a fire nearby but no Immediate danger, I
was nearly dressed. I am not afraid of many
things, buttbe idea of fire always scares me,
and I suppose that accounts for the plight in
in which I found myself when I reached the
lobby downstairs. I should never have noticed
it in tbe excitement, but a friend of mine called
my attention to tbe fact that my nether gar
ments were on wrong side before and I was
carrying a single sock In my left band. But
these small singularities in costume did not at
tract general attention in that motley crowd of
panic-stricken men and women."
Hard on Hen Roosts, Too.
,jJt's mos' contrary 'at deso yer Tanksgivln'
an' Chrismas comes so close togedder,"
remarked George Washington Smith to his
bosom friend, Alexander Napoleon Jones.
"Was you t'inkin ot celebratin' B'rer
Smith?"
"No, B'rer Jones but I was stuhbln' my
mind agin der fac' dat it am mighty habd for
der poll man to have to expose hisself ter
buckshot an' dawgs twict in a month."
Give Arms, Gentlemen !
Tf yon observe the crowds upon the streets
any evening of tbe week about the time tbe
theaters open you will discover that a good ma
jority of the couples abroad do not walk arm-in-arm
as they used to do, but apart. The hour
named is the best for the observation of this
phenomenon because the young man and bis
best girl, and married people are then to be
seen together in the greatest number. Age,
station In life, and other circumstances do not
appear to modify this fashion in perambulation.
A great many men have seemingly ceased to
offer their arm3 and women to take them. The
habit some men havo of taking a woman's arm
as if tbey were making an arrestisbad enough,
but the new style of going it alone Is far ug
lier and more ungaliant. How did It originate
Nobody can say. Perhaps It will abate when
men get to thinking of tbe significance that
may be attached to their behavior, and still
likelier are tbe women to protest when they ap
preciate the disrespectthe demalof theescort's
arm may be taken to show. When a man
walks with a "woman at night and does not give
her his arm in city streets, of course there
is reason to believe that he is ashamed of the
company he keeps. Ot course, the hundreds
and thousands that have fallen into this singu
lar habit have never stopped to think of its
consequences.
There is another view of the matter to be
taken. Locomotion on a crowded street is
much easier for a pair if they link arms; they
keep step better? conversation Is more readily
carried on, and tbe weaker partner m the alli
ance obtains the real protection of her knight.
Indeed, it is tolerably certain that the women
are not in favor of singular progress through
the streets. Tbe bad habit is probably mascu
line. A general call to arms should effect a
reform two arms linked together.
A Fiery Coincidence.
TI AVE you noticed tbat fires come in cycles?
For a time tbe firemen will hare little
or nothing to do and then conflagration follows
npon conflagration," said a Plttsburger yester
day, commenting upon a frequently remarked
phenomenon.
"Yes," said a Washington correspondent,
"and I'm reminded by it of what occurs in a
Government department at a change in admin
istration. One man is fired, then another, and
then it's a case of 'fire' all along the line!"
Different Callings.
i ('THESE stock exchange tricks, these puts
and calls, are demoralizing business
men," said old Magnus, looking up from the
financial column of his paper.
"I can quite understand tbat my dear," as
sented Mrs. Magnus, "for although I don't
know anything about 'puts.' I do know that
lam completely exhausted after an afternoon's
calling."
PUR MAIL POUCH.
no Objects to Standing.
To the Editor of The Dispatch:
Your readable editorials on 'A Mistaken
Spirit" and "Tho Right of Standing Up" sug
gest the following thoughts: Tho writer freely
acknowledges the mistake Cleveland and Phil
adelphia papers make in belittling Pittsburg's
ship canal, and asks what shall bo said of tbe
spirit and attitude of the Pittsburg press in be
li'.tling tho coming World's Fair T The rudi
mentary sensation of patriotism, even wbero
its elements are least appreciated, would ap
parently dictate a different course, since only
enemies ot America can find comfort in such
prophecies of evil as tbo Eastern press has gen
erally indulged in. Your editorial writer beg3
the question in supposing that a law compell
incr street railway companies to furnish seats
for passengers would diminish and not increase
street railway accommodations for tbo public
comfort. If there is such a thing as common
sense In rapid transit it involves intelligent
foresight and provision for at least the ordi
nary, everyday needs of the public. And how
singularly lacking is such loresight and pro
vision even in Pittsburg's present advanced
stage of progress in intramural transit!
Tbe other evening tbe writer left Fifth and
Wood on a Pittsburg Traction car which
carried some 70 passengprs tho last man get
ting a scat at Oakland. He is confident that
many fares were missed by tbe conductor
without fault of his, and. of coarse, everybody
was annoyed. This was at 5:15 and tbe car bad
no trailer, and the writer remembers of none
met on the trip. Now a trailer costing 51,060
would have been found exceedingly profitable.
Under such a law as the European one
quoted by you, and whatever maybe said of
the case of holiday and other irregular travel,
there is absolutely no excuse for such failure
as tbat noted. It was a plain case of parsi
mony or stupidity in management.
Yet tbe control of this road has repeatedly
announced that they will punish a late asso
ciate, now promoting a competing road, for his
presumption in competing with them by a re
duction oi tueir larc to j cents mo uay uis roaa
starts. The writer predicis that the public
will not invest in the personal quarrel of the
rival lines, but -that, on the contrary, the road
furnishing seats and in general mingling brains
with Its management, will attract and hold the
best of the traffic, cvon at 5 cents against 3 and
present methods and accommodations. Fur
ther, that little gift of prophecy Is needed to
promise plenty of business to both tbe roads in
question and more. Without the slightest
acquaintance with any of the parties to the
controversy.tbe writer suggests to the bellicose
managers that tbey spend this money in in
creasing this present inadequate service, in
stead of warring against competition already
too long delayed, and sure of an inevitable and
cordial welcome by the riding public
Pittsburg;, Dec 5. . S. J. Mactarren.
Not Obligatory In Either Case.
To the Edlfor of the Dispatch:
Is It necessary for the lady, she being of age,
to accompany the gentleman in order to pro
cure a marriage license? Does tho law make it
oblitory that license should bo published
when issued? Constant Reader.
Dunbar, Pa, Dec i.
He Cannot Play It Alone.
To the Editor orThe Dispatch:
Plcasoletme know through the columns of
your paper whether, in playing a gamo of
euchre, the dealer can play it alono when his
partner has order.id him up, or if he can when
one of the other two has ordered him.
Wheelino, Dec 5. Constant Reader,
The Words With tho Vowels.
To the Editor of the Dispatch:
Tbe two words containing tbe vowels in their
order are "abstemious" and "facetious."
Pittsburg, Dec 5. Small Boy.
A Genuine New England Supper.
A New England supper everyone knows
what that means, and what an array of savory
viands compose one will be given at the First
Congregational Church, corner of Franklin and
Manhattan streets, on Thursday. Decern Der 11.
Tbe ladles of this church are famous for the
special merit of their New England suppers,
that are annual affairs, and are looked forward
to with interest and longing by all who have
ever partaken of them.
Something New In Bazaars.
Tbe Heart and Hand Society of the Third
Presbyterian Church will give a church fair on
Friday evening, December 19. The young
ladles who compose this society declare that
tbeir fair will be something out of the usual
order of church fairs, and Are Tacking their
composite Drain in a fearful manner to concoct
new and unique features.
CURIOUS CONDENSATIONS.
Paris contains 87,426 trees.
Fresno county, Cal., has 50,000 acres o
vineyards.
The School Fund of Butte, Mont., con.
tains 8110,000 in hard coin.
A Russian millionaire i building the
largest steam yacht known 1,000 tons.
A tunnel between Scotland and Ireland
is discussed, 30 miles long, to cost H0.000.000.
Parisians send each year 33.000,000 let
ters. 13,000,000 postal cards and 83,000,000 news
papers. The Japanese armv has had its first
manenTers. Twenty thousand" men were en
gaged in two opposing forces.
The English professional football plav-
f!?!if,e.tas,h,!:h,V H-000 fftr the FMSonandan
additional weekly salary of 815 or 820,
Etch year Parisians take out 7,000
patents for various Inventione, send and receive
o0.C00 foreign telegrams and 3,000.000 city tele
gram;. A tnst seven feet long and a tooth
welching over jpven pound, snnposed to have
been part of a mastodon, have been unearthed
at Monson, la.
At Fort 3lyers, Fla., a day or two aeo
Dr. Z. J. Brown cut a stalk of ribbon grass
which ha been crowing one year, measuring
between 11 and 15 feet in length.
It is said that the Eed Maize clan of the
Omabas would not eat red maize, and tbe Elk
clan of the same tribe would not eat the flesh
or touch any part of tbe male elk.
A very extensive domestic industry in
Russia consists In the manufacture of wooden
jonon". which are made to the extent of
30,000,000 annually, mostly of birch.
In Paris there are 11.000 cabs and the
same number of omnibuses: 25,000 objects are
lost each vear In cab. and at the railway
stations 67,000,000 travelers arrive yearly.
Believing himself to be descended from,
and therefore akin to. his totem, the savage
naturally treats it with repect. If It is an
animal he will not, as a rule, kill or eat it.
The number of species of humminsr
birds now known to exist considerably exceed
400. The largest amonir them measures no
more than 8K inches, and the least ITS inches. H
Out of the birk of the birch, which is
impermeable to water, a kind of hark shoes is
d! in Russia, of which it is estimated that
-A UOO.OOO pairs are annually worn by the Russian
peasantry.
Between January 1 and November 15
the shipments of orchard and vineyard products
of Fresno countv. Cal.. amounted to 23.400,005
pounds. It reqnlred 1,170 cars to move this im
mense load.
Water in Mad river, Humboldt county,
Cal., is very low. says the Areata Union, and
the mouth is entirely closed. Countless nnm
persnr salmon are swarming in tbe surf wait
ing for a chance to run upstream.
An agent for a San Francisco com
mission honso went to Visalia recently and
bought 3.200 turkey in one dav. He paid 51 50
for each bird, and so placed 81.800 in circula
tion among the women of that place.
The Osages have a myth that they are
descended from a mail snail and a female
beaver. The snail burst her shell, developed
arms, feet and leg", and became a fine tall man;
afterward he married the beaver maid.
Among the Narrinyeri in South Aus
tralia men of the Snake clan sometimes catch
snakes, pull out tbeir teeth or sew np their
months and keep them as pets. Sara Bern
hardt could learn a thing or two lrom this
tribe.
It is said that not less than $100,000
worth of "corn cures" are annually sold in tbe
United States. There are some of them that
may be not unreasonably regarded as cultirat
ing corns enough to account for the sales of tho
others.
The singular fact is on record that in
one instance as tho yonngof the humming bird
grew in size the walls of the nest were height
ened by the parents, until at last the nest was
more than twice as big as when tbe eggs were
laid and batched.
A man in Jackson county, Ore., has
been plowing this fall with a steam engine, and
has found tbatdt works quite successfully.
He pulls eight plows with bis engine, and turns
over tbe soil at tbe rate of 15 acres per dav.
Tbe cost of running the outfit Is not over S3
per day.
The Swiss railways intend to introduce
ths zone tariff for passengers, now that the sys
tem proves so successful In Austro-Hungary.
During the first year of the zone tariff in Hun.
gary the various lines carried over 13.000,000
passengers, against 5,000,000 during the previous
twelvemonth.
An extraordinary incident occurred
recently in England during a run with tbe
hounds of Sir Watkin Williams Wynn. In
passing a cottage the fox found himself among
a lot of fowls. Absolutely regardless of possi
hie consequences, he snatched np one ot tbe
birds, and carried it is mouth to tbe end of the
run, and was killed with it in his mouth.
Two copies of every article that is ac
cepted by tho editors are kept by the great
magazine publishers. When a manuscript is
accepted it is at once copied out in typewriting,
and after tbat one copy can be sent to tbe art
ist who ii to illustrate ic. or to the printer who
is to set it up, wltbout the risk of such a loss as
will compel tbe author to rewrite lt,and the pub
lisher to pay for it twice
The other evening, up aOrehama, Ore.,
when George P. Terrell's little 12-year-old
daughter went down to the pasture to drive up
tbe cows she found a Drettv little 2-year-old deer
feeding with them. She drove tbe cows to tbe
barnvard. and tbe deer Tan along with them, as
sportive as a calf on a Jnne morning. When
tbey were all secure in tbe barn tbe deer was
caught with but little trouble and is readily
submitting to domestication. It is fresh and
hearty and will make a nice pet for tbe chil
dren. Tbe food of humming-birds consists
mainly of insects, mostly gathered from the
flowers they visit. An acute observer writes
tbat even among the common flower-frequenting
species he has found the alimentary canal en
tirely filled with Insects, and very rarely a traea
of honey. It is this fact doubtless tbat has
hindered almost all attempts at keeping them
in confinement for any lenzth of time nearly
every one making the experiment bating fed
his eiptives only with syrup, which is wholly
insufficient as sustenance, and seeing therefore
the wretched creatures gradually sink into in
anition and die of hungar.
HUMOR OF THE HOUR.
Spacer "What head did you put on your
article.
Lever None. It Is a tale. Sew Tort Herald.
A Xew York auctioneer advertised For
Sale A large qnantity of oil paintings hy some of
tbe most ancient masters of tbe day. Jo-atht
Companion.
Dimmack Don't those good, old college
longs electrify yon ?
Miss Arlington-Well, I'm free to say that that
one, at least, shocks me, Christmas Jitdgt.
Bessie Jessie told me last night that sha
thought your face a poem.
George Fosslbly that was the reason she re
jected me. Xeio York Herald.
Head of Firm Oh, by the way, Mr.
Travers, I shall have to asc you to stay In the
office all day next Wednesday; I am coins out ot
town.
Travers (aslde)-Hang the luex I Tbat Is the
very day I bad arranged to have my grandmother
ale.-Life.
Miss Brunc (who has passed the summer
at Bar Harbor) Kitty, will you do me a favorf
MlssBlonn-WlllI? Ask it.
Miss Brunc Let Peters bring me a choeolatt
eclair Instead of this vanilla one. It doesn't
match my tan. tou know. Christmas Judge.
A young woman sent to a newspaper a
poem, entitled, 'I Cannot Make Him Smile,"
andjras much displeased when the editor sent II
back with a line saying that she would probably
succeed If she showed htm tho poem. ZontH's
Companion.
Dashaway The other night I went to aa
amateur theatrical performance, and then I went
home and bad a terrible dream.
Clevcrton What did you dream?
Dashaway 1 dreamt I went to It again. S
Xork Sun.
She There's that horrid Mr. Gargoyle.
Have you ever seen his wife?
He-No: but she's a blonde.
"How do y on knowf"
T was with Gargoyle half an hour yesterday, -
and he spoke admiringly of every Brnneiw wno
passed."-.
Nellie Well, Edie.howdo you likegolng
to school?
d!e (her tfrst expcrlencel-l don't like Itl
Nellie Why, Edle. what's the matwr? Don't
you like your teacher?
Edle No: I don't like berone bltt She put me
In a chair and told me to sit there for the present,
and I sat-and sat and sat, and she never cave nn
any present atallt Boston Budget.
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