19123 rryTrrTfwjifpvtti! Fi ."V.etr-i THE PITTSBURG- DISPATCH, SATURDAY, DECEMBER 6, 1890. TO-MORROW (SUNDAY) MORNING will consist of 24 PAGES. It will hold 192 COLUMNS. Reading for tho masses will be furnished. Its aim is to provide entertainmnt for the HOME CIRCLE and news for THE PEOPLE. That the efforts of THE DISPATCH are appreciated is attested by the fact that OVER 60,000 READERS will secure a copy from the Mails, the News Agents, the Carriers and the Newsboys TO-MORROW MORNING. All who would keep abreast of the times THE WORLD OVER should read THE DISPATCH. All who seek EN TERTAINMENT and INSTRUCTION will secure BOTH through THE DISPATCH. Its CONTRIBUTORS are well-known men of letters. Its FICTION is high class. Its HUMOR is pure. Its SELECTIONS of miscellaneous subjects are diversified. It strives to COVER EVERY FIELD. Get copy and READ IT. Order from your nearest NEWS AGENT, any Carrier, or through the mails. Address, THE DIS PATCH, cornor Smithfleld and Diamond streets, Pittsburg, Pa. JOAQUIN MILLER is now writing a serial for THE DIS PATCH. It will be announced soon. ESTABLISHED FEBRUARY S, 1SI6. Vol.45, o. KE. Entered at Pittsburg Tostoffice, November 14. 1SST, as second-class matter. Business Office Corner Smithfleld and Diamond Streets. News Rooms and Publisliing House 75, 77 and 79 Diamond Street EASTERN ADVEKTISIXG OFFICE. EOOSI It, TKIBUJ.E KUII.OING. NEW YOKK. where complete files of THE DISPATCH can always be Ion nil Forcijrn advertisers appreciate tbe con venience. Home advertisers and friends of THE DISPATCH. while In New York, are also made wcl.ome. THE riSPATCII is regularly on sale at Mrentino', 5 Union Square. Sew York, and IT Jlrc de VOpeia, Fans, France, tchere anyone who hat been disappointed at a hotel news stand can obtain it. TERMS OF THE DISPATCH. rOSTAGE TltEE IX THE UXTTED STATES. Daily Dispatch, One Year 8 8 00 Daily Dispatch, Per Quarter 2 00 Daily Dispatch. One .Mouth 70 Daily Dispatch, including Sunday, lycar. 10 00 Daily Dispatch, Including Sunday,3m'ths 5 50 Daily Dispatch, including bunday, lm'th SO S-cxday Dispatch. One lcar ISO "VTtEKLT DisrATCH, One Year 1 55 The Daily Dispatch Is delivered by carriers at IScents per -neck, or including Sunday edition, at 13 cents per week. PITTSBURG, SATURDAY'. DEC. 6, 1SD0. EXTENSIVE KIVER IMPROVEMENTS. The outline of tbe plan for river improve ment set forth in the series of articles in The Dispatch, is given in the second of the series, published in ibis issue. As will beseen by reading it, it does not propose only the storage of surplus water in reservoirs at the head waters of the various streams, al though that is the characteristic feature and the starting point, as it were, of the entire system. It adds thereto the use of caissons and jettief to deepen the channel and re move shoaling; of movable locks and dams to preserve an even depth of water where they are ready; of docks and harbors for the unloading of vessels and their safety during floods; and of cut-offs to shorten the navi gable distance wherever practicable. By the combination of these methods of im provement, the originator of the plan aims nt the high mark of making the principal rivers navigable for sea-going vessels; the secondary streams steadily navigable for river steamers; and the smaller ones for barges and light draft steamers. The merits and demerits of this plan from the engineering point of view can be judged more clearly as its details are brought out in subsequent articles of the series. But as to the importance of the aim it is pertinent to say that it cannot be over estimated. The colossal blunder of this country during the last half of the century so gigantic as to make it nearly if not quie a public crime, has been the neglect of its water transpor tation. By permitting railway policy to close up canals and force the disuse of the rivers we have laid ourselves open to the whole train of corporate abuses, a great share of which would have been impossible if the competition of water transportation had been maintained as a live and constant commercial force. As the writer of these articles well says, we are not to blame the individuals who have inflicted these abuses so much as the public apathy which has permitted conditions to grow up that make manipulation, stock watering and favoritism the sure road to great fortune and unlimited power. Xo greater public work and no more legitimate use for Government funds, in the work of internal improvement, can be found, than one which will restore water transportation to the vast territory of the Mississippi. The further details of this lan will be charged with the highest in terest and importance. THE EEGBEATURK'S VIEWS. The views of the members of the State Legislature upon the Erie Ship Canal, which will be found in another column, are on the whole favorable to the project, al though there are signs of pronounced oppo sition in some quarters. The majority of the Legislators heard from express a desire for information about the canal, which will be satisfied in due time when the commis sion's report is published. The Allegheny county delegation and the Representatives of "Western Pennsylvania generally will be practically a phalanx for the canal when it comes before the Legislature. TIEATES-G OP STREET CARS. The subject of heating street cars is agitat ing some of our exchanges in other cities, notably the Buffalo and Eochester press. One party opposes the street car stove on the ground of the vileness and impurity of the air produced by it, while the argument of one paper on the other side is to the effect that people have contracted colds by leaving the warm rooms of their homes and sitting for 10 to 23 minutes in cars, the atmosphere of which was often far below freezing point. The Buffalo Courier re-inforce: this assertion by saying that some of the Buffalo routes are an hour long, which gives us a novel idea of the illustration of time and eternity furnished by Buffalo transit. The same rpaper also asserts that the temperature of the air has nothing to do with its purity. That people should not be expected to sit still in extremely cold weather during pro tracted street car rides without some artifi cial warmth has long been a generally accepted proposition in Pittsburg. But it is pertinent to say in connection with these assertions that many more colds are canght by reason of overheated cars and rooms, than from those which are underheated. This is often illustrated iu our suburban accommodation trains where fires arc kept up with such a sublime disregard of the temperature outside, that people going from them into the open air of even moderate weather are more apt to take cold than if THE DISPATCH Wht Bi&Dafclj. there had been no fire at all. Likewise while such a thing as pure, warm air is pos sible, it is no less true that many of the ap pliances for heating cars seem to be built on the principle that to heat the atmosphere in volves its utter vitiation. Cars should be heated in cold weather; but there is still a vast room lor improve ment both in the means used to furnish the heat, and in the intelligence employed to suit their use to the natural temperature. A SEASON FOR ACTIOX. "When industries are prosperous, trade ac tive, and the means for the execution of great enterprises abundant, then is the time for cities which have the opportnnity, to set their future upon firm and unshakable foundations. This applies directly to Pittsburg, and the ship canal project. That project approaches maturity at a time when the city and the kindred interests surround ing have been realizing the benefits of great volume and uninterrupted activity in busi ness. It is seen how the whole community prospers when the mills and manufactories are running. Any feasible project that will enlarge their work and lend to their greater profit becomes at once a vital busi ness matter to ail classes, mw That ample water communication with the lakes, by which cargoes could be sent there or brought here unbroken, would in the present state of crowded railways and high freight charges be of great permanent bene fit to the leading industries of "Western Pennsylvania no one can seriously question. Some who are naturally doubtful about all undemonstrated undertakings satisfy an in dolent disposition by questioning whether a ship canal can be built; but the assurances of the engineers tvho have specially exam ined the route so far as they have got, set these doubts aside. Others do not exactly see how the money can be raised; but if the enterprise gives promise of large benefits, the means, we doubt not, will eventually be found if they are earnestly enough sought. At first sight it might seem to the super ficial observer that the railroads would antagonize the ship canal; but, of all the interests concerned, the railroads doing busi ness with Pittsburg would be the greatest gainers by the addition to the general traffic of the place. The real estate of the two cities which is now valued at nearly three hundred million dollars, would, similarly, be a beneficiary to an extent which its owners have hardly yet begun to dream of. The benefits to manufacturers in the ship ment of their raw material and finished pro duct are apparent. "With its vast supplies of coal, this region will doubtless always have pre-eminence as the manufacturing center of the continent. But the more reason why it should be up and stirring to take advantage ot whatever tends to make the favorable situation doubly secure. Because a project is a little larger than any undertaken hitherto is no reason why it should fail of earnest support, if the benefits promise to be commen surate. The Dispatch bespeaks careful attention for the details of the ship-canal problem as the State Commission will un fold them before the Legislature this winter. If, as we think will be the case, they com mend themselves to the business judgment of the community, we trust everybody will take a hand and go iu for all the benefits that can be gotten from water-communication with the lakes. In proportion to the size and importance of the interests now to be affected, the idea relatively is hardly more difficult of execution than was the slack watering of the Monongahela or the building of the railroads in the old days. The vista of benefits for all classes here seems to us varied, far-reaching and very inviting. CRUEL FRAUDS IN BERLIN. The frauds and fleecing under cover of the excitement caused by the Koch discov ery of a cure for consumption are just what might have been expected. The cable news to-day contains a warning picture of the scandalous overcharges of the Berlin doc tors and the deceits practiced by swindlers upon the consumptives who have flocked to Berlin in the hope of procuring some of the precious lymph. Americans in particular will be wise to wait for the new treatment to be brought here. THE WORD MTSATTIJED. The disposition of the unthinking public to call everything a "trust,".is unfortun ately illustrated by the wide application of the term to the recently chartered organiza tion in the Bast to start cheap lodging houses. Prom the very nature of this organization it not only was entirely free from the feature ot attaining the establish ment of an irresponsible monopoly, by put ting all the productive property of in dustry in the hands of trustees; but the very nature of the business makes any approach to monopoly absolutely.impossihle. On the face it seems to be charitable rather than a money-making project Yet several newspapers are calling this certainly harm less project a trust, meaning a monopoly, while entirely neglecting the great combina tions, or treating them with undisguised respect. ruAcncABurrr of sunken tvats. Among the interesting abstractions with which the Philadelphia Eapiu Transit Com mission is occupying its sessions, was the presentation at its last meeting of the views of Mr. George B. Boberts, President of the Pennsylvania Railroad, on the engineering aspects of rapid transit Mr. Boberts' opinion was in brief that the high rate of speed required for real rapid transit cannot be attained on the surface of streets with safety to other street travel. Underground or elevated roads are therefore required, but the cost of either is so great that in most cases it-is necessary to put up with the ap proximation that is to be got most cheaply for low grade lines, by electric roads. His preference in the abstract would be to have the railways put underground with electric wires and sewers; but while it might be done in the thickly populated districts it would be a financial impossibility in the suburbs." This last statement of Mr. Boberts indi cates that he has mistaken the object to be aimed at in getting rapid transit lines be low the surface. It is not necessary that such lines should be made continuous tun nels shut out from the light of day, from terminus to terminus. The practical pur pose of putting lines below the surface can be attained by sunken ways, except where property is so valuable that it would be a good investment to erect buildings over the lines. This fact would make it much more economical to run each line through the suburbs on grades which will carry the streets crossings over the railroads than to elevate the roads for the entire distance. Of course such a line will cost far more than electric roads on the streets; but, as Mr. Boberts has pointed out, no street surface road can give the speed required. The point which is worth recognizing in this connec tion is that where real rapid transit is de sired, the combination of sunken and . ii i -i r ilrfiirygfa---. A.jMiMitr.jto aeaesaif a.c - - : ..jia- -tJttrtinw jffir,-. . aA.a-.i.i:Ai wtL., ..v.'s v . .. -c - : ., .-bj-: . . . . .... t . . .-.. -,t m underground roads is more economical in the long run than elevated roads. The best evidence of the practicability of such sunken roads is to be found in the actual condition of .things on some of the lines under Boberts' own management. The Fort Wayne road through the Allegheny parks and from the outer depot to Superior station is practically such a sunken road. The Pennsylvania Bailroad line from Twenty-eighth street to East Liberty, with the exception of one crossing that could be changed at slight expense, is a very favora ble example of the same sort; and the Pan handle road from Sheridan station to Idle wood only falls a little short of the standard. The Fort "Wayne road at very little more expense than the cost of an elevated road could be made a continuous sunken way from Verner station to the bridge over the Allegheny; the Pennsylvania Bailroad at even less expenses could extend the same benefit as far as Brushton or "Wilkinsburg. The effect of such an arrangement on the public is shown by the fact that the land in the vicinity of the sunken ways is among the most elegible residence property of this section; while the neighborhoods where tracks are elevated above the surlace, as along Liberty street on the Pennsylvania or the Fort "Wayne from Anderson street to the bridge, are among the most ineligible. As for the respective advantages of sunken and elevated ways to the corporation build ing a line, it may be that the former would cost more under some circumstances, al though through suburban sections that seems improbable. But even if the first cost was greater, the fact that its road bed rests on terra firma and the enduring nature of its track more than compensates any saving that might be made by elevating the track on a structure that must wear out, under slow disintegration and the effect of vibra tion, and where any mishap either by decay or by carelessness would be attended with fearful possibilities, will in the end be proved false economy. We think that a careful and impartial study of the subject, both as regards rapid transit and the admission of ordinary rail roads in the cities will show that in the vast majority of cases it will be a more economi cal, satisfactory and permanent improve ment to elevate the streets above the rail roads than to elevate the railroads above the streets. THE DEXAMATER FAILURE. The failure of the banking firm of Dela mater & Co., in Meadville, attracts more at tention than it naturally would because of the defeated Gubernatorial candidate's con nection with the bank. The causes of this untoward event and in a measure its prob able effects are shrouded in doubt The State and Crawford county are said to be among the bank's creditors, and for con siderable sums, but the reputed wealth of the Delamater connection renders a satis factory liquidation probable. THE NECESSITX OF SAFEGUARDS. The fact that on two successive nights fires in the lower part of the city have re sulted in the loss of human life, contains a most impressive lesson on the necessity of better construction of buildings in order to guard against fatalities. It is satisfactory to note that these casualties occurred in buildincs of a past style of construction, and therefore convey no arraignment of the better class of buildings that is now erected. But the disclosure of the hazird to life as well as property in the older style of build ings, suggests the question whether the in spection that is designed to prevent danger in buildings of late erection is not of equal necessity in the structures that were put np in earlier times. The two fatal fires of this week illustrate the disregard of two rules of vital import ance. One is that there should be ample exits for all buildings above the size of an ordinary dwelling; and the other is that walls of the -larger buildings should be built so that they will not fall with a fire. There is reason to hope that both these ob jects are measurably obtained in the mod ern structures; but it is a question of vital interest how far the same dangers may be reproduced in the vast number of structures erected twenty or thirty years ago. As to those of even older date, it may be taken as a practical certainty that a majority of them are death-traps. There may be a question as to the power to enforce the improvement of such build ings, but there can be no question that as a matter of public policy the power should be lodged somewhere to prevent the recurrence of these disasters. An example of the "reforms" which the Gould management is going to establish in the Union Pacific Is famished by its continued dis cbarges of men from the employment of that company. It was very well known that, under the Adams management, the road had Its facil ities fully taxed, and Mr. Adams was trying to increase the value ot tbe property by increas ing its facilities. Mr. Gould Is evidently will ing to reform this policy altogether, and repeat the course of the Central Pacific management by letting the Union Pacific go to pieces while the Missouri Pacific does all the business. Me. McKinley is quoted as saying that "patronage is always au element ot weakness to a party in power." The Dispatch said that long ago. Perhaps it would have been more useful if Mr. McKinley could have im pressed it on his associates before the elections Instead of reserving it as an explanation of what hit him. We are gratified to observe our esteemed cotemporary, the Philadelphia Inquirer, ener getically indorsing President White's idea tbat municipal affairs should be reformed by keep ing them separate from tho machinery of na tional politics. We hope that tbe esteemed Inquirer will be so thoroughly convinced of the truth of this principle tbat tbe next time it is proposed to disregard party lines on local issues it will not consider itsolf tied to the party ma chine. Now It is alleged that the Brown-Sequard elixir will euro consumption. Perhaps it may, but from tho experiments at the time of its greatcstvogue there remains the doubtwhether it will not do so by the heroic method of killing the patient. Judge Baep.ett, of New York, has de cided that an income of J15.000 for a Judge is only sufficient for his support; tbat none of it can be set aside to pay his debts. Tbe necessaries of New York judicial life seem to be so costly that our Democratic fr'.endsmay be expected to remark tbat tbe McKinley bill has been getting in its fell work once more. The lordly iceman rnled the roost during tbe heated term, but he was hardly a marker on the lofty height from which the retail coal dealer now listens to the supplications of cus tomers for a few loads of coal. The movement in favor of high license in Massachusetts evokes the approval of the New York World, which avers tbat "prohibition is hypocrisy." But is not high license hypoc risy also, when illicit liqnor selling is per mitted to flourish unchecked. The hypocrisy of unenforced laws is about as glaring in one case as in the other. An estimate of the sum which each dead Indian will cost tbe Government in case a war sbonld break ont may demonstrate the fact that it would be cheaper to feed the savages. Among the expressive demonstrations that there are limits beyond which endurance ceases to bo a virtne, are tbe figures of John L. Sullivan protesting against the lowering of tbe dramatic profession by making Era Hamilton a star, and Jay Gould expressing his dis approval of tho stock-watering and manipula tion of the trusts. PBOMIHENT PERSONALS. Charles Dudley Waenee will sail with his family for Havre by the steamer La Cham pagne, which leaves to-day. Buffalo Bill was born In Chester county, Pa., and comes of good old Quaker stock. Both his father and mother were Quakers. It is said tbat Minister Beid expends 127,000 per annum for the rent of his house in Paris, which is 10,000 more than his total salary. The Sultan of Turkey looks much like Jay Gould, except that he is somewhat taller than the Wall street wizard and bis nose is a trifle more prominent. Mb. Stanley has recently become a member of the English Society for Psychical Research, a branch of which is to be organized in New York City next Monday. Iseael L. Landis. of Lancaster, Pa., an in ventor of some note, has been honored with a corresponding honorary membership in the In ventors' Academy of Pans. Henry George announces that he will re tire from tbe Standard, of which be is editor and proprietor, at tbo close of this year, in or der to gain freedom for what he regards as more important and permanent work. If she is not taking so well as she used to with the London public, Mrs. Langtry is being taken more extensively than ever in a photo graphicway. She recently sat for pictures in CO different positions, a feat the photographer declared, that had never before been accom plished. It is said tbat the President regards the custom of distributing consolation prizes in tbe way of fat offices to members who have been beaten at the polls while striving to carry through great issues, as vicious in the extreme. He thinks it weakens tbe Republican bold upon the districts and sets a bad example for future campaigns. Queen Emma, of Holland, who will he Regent during tho minority of the Princess Wilbelmina, has greatly endeared herself to the Dutch people by her domestic qualities. She has been a most attentive nurse to her hus band, and is a singularly wise and devoted mother. She has also bestowed much atten tion upon politics, and is well fitted to fill the position she will soon assume. Dr. Kbhusd J. James, Professor in the University of Pennsylvania, has been offered the Chair of Political Economy in Harvard University. Prof. James, one of the best known of the young American economists, was born in Illinois in 1855. After an extensive course of college and university study in the West and East he went to Europe, whore he took the doctor's degree at the University of Halle, in Prussia. PLEASED A LABOE AUDIENCE. Hearty Welcome Tendered the Favorite FIsk Juhlleo Singers. It is refreshing, a genuine pleasure, to hear once again those ringing and pleasing gospel songs of the Fisk Jubilee Singers. At Old City Hall, last evening, this corps of nine col ored students rendered a very acceptable pro gramme, composed of such songs as "Rise, Shine and Give God tbo Glory," "Old Ark a Movenng," "Hard Trials," "Swing Low, Sweet Chariot," and other selections of a similar character, so popular a dozen years ago, when this band of young men and women made a tour of the leading colleges of the North. At that time their object was to raise money for their University down in Tennessee, and so nicely did they catch favor with the many who love the quaint, weird harmony of negro mel ody and songs, that, having successfully carried out the object ot their earlier efforts, they reor ganized in their own behalf. Tbo company, as now composed, contains but few of the original members. Their fjrst pianist and their tenor, who introduced the hymn "Almost Persuaded," are the most nota ble absentees. The entertainment was given as one of the series in tbo Plttsbure Star.Conrse, and a large audience was in attendance, whose frequent ana vigorouse applause cained many an extra number. Tbe next entertainment will be on December 11, and New York's (Treat Shakespearean reader, Mr. Hannibal A. Will iams, will appear in a recital of "Julius Cajsar." A SUCCESS IN EVEBY WAY. The Christmas Market at Semple's Hall Closes Satisfactorily. The success of the "Christmas Market" on the opening day was greatly augmented yesterday afternoon and last evening, and the ladies are congratulating themselves this morning, as they sip their coffee and read the accounts of their affair, tbat it is over, and tbat a snug little sum of cash in their possession remains as tangible evidence of the supcessful reality as well as weariness and bodily fatigue. There is no use denying tbe fact that a chnrch bazaar and supper for two days means any amount of exertion and worry, and this one. especially, meant considerable of both, for it was of such magnitude and perfection. The now Westminster Presbyterian Church is the gainer rinanclally. A LONG LOOK BACKWARD. John A. Brashear! Lecture at the Academy of Science and Art. At the regular monthly meeting of tbe Academy of Science and Art, last night, John A. Brashear entertained the members with a paper entitled "Fifty Years of Astronomical Photograpy," a subjeet that .few men could handle more cleverly. Illustrations from Mr. Brashear's private collection of astronomical photographs, with lantern slides by the most eminent astronomical photographers In the world, were shown, with pleasing effect by Mr. Brashear in connection with his talk. Opera at the Duquc8.no. "L'Africame" was given at tbe Duquesno Theater last night before a very large audience in a most artistic manner. Verdi's over popu lar and melodious opera, "II Trovatore," will be given atthematineo to-day with Madame Januschowsny, Miss Meisiinger, Mr. Clarke, Mr. StormontandMr. Knieht In the leading roles. Richard Wagner's "Plying Dutchman" will bo presented in the evening with Miss J uch in her famous role of Senta and with Miss Meisiinger, Mr. Rattyens, Mr. Vetta, Mr. Clarke and Mr. Stephens also in the cast. This performance will bo tho most interesting of the week and will bo a fitting finale of a grand series of operatic productions. DEATHS OP A DAY. Captain E. H. H. Stackpole. Habbisbubo, Dec S. -Captain . 11. u. Stack pole. Superintendent of Public Grounds, died at his old home In McVeytown at noon to-day after a long illness. Deceased represented Mifflin county in the Legislature In 1877-'78. In 18S1 he'was con nected with the State Treasury, and In 1883 was made Superintendent of Public Grounds. Ho was agea 54 years, and his grandparents were anions the first settlers In the Juniata Valley. Dr. George F. Larimer. rEFKCIAL TELEGRAM TO THK DISPATCS.1 Braddoce. Dee. S. The death of George F. Larimer occurred at his residence In North Brad dock this morning at S o'clock, very suddenly. Mr. Larimer had been 111 for about one year with dropsy and heart trouble. This morning he got unto obtain a drink ofwater and fell oyer dead. The deceased was the son of Colonel James T. Larimer and nephew of the late General William Larimer. Mrs. Margaret "Watson, Centenarian. Milton, Dec- 5. Mrs. Margaret Watson died yesterday at McEwensville, near here, agedlOO years. Sbe was the oldest person in this county, fane was born in Union county, and moved to Mc fcwensvillewhen 10 years pld. She retained her mental faculties unimpaired np to the time of her death, Mrs. Ttosanna Douthett Small. Mrs. Kosanna Douthett Small, widow of the late Jailer Small, died yesterday at her home on Fay ette street, at the age of 79 years, ahe was born at Woods Itun when it was only a wilderness. Mrs. Small had a host of friends, who always knew her to be a kind and charitable lady. Mm. Caroline McCarthy. Mrs. Caroline McCarthy died yesterday at the residence of W. E. McCarthy, No. 5105 Liberty avenue, at the age or 67 years. Tbe funeral wUt occur to-morrow at McVeytown. Sir John W. Huddleston, Jurist. LONDON, Dec. S.-SIr John Walter Huddleston, the ramous Irish Jurist. late member of the House of Commons for Norwich and a Baron of the Court of Exchequer, Is dead. Mrs. McConnell. Mrs. McConnell died yesterday afternoon at the Wllklnsburs Home for Aged Women, she was aged S3 years. The funeral will occur to-morrow aiternoon at a o-ciirc. l SNAP SHOTS IN SEASON. Women spend a great deal of time in reflec tion. It comes from a looking glass, however. SrMPATHKTic, aren't weT How a calamity startles us, to be sure. One life lost in a cruel, sudden way, and a big city full shudders. Bud den sorrow shocks. - Something presses the but ton which sends a thrill to tho hearts of all alike. And how swift It flies swift as thought, swift as sight, swift as light. Only one. two, three, perhaps, out of tens of thousands are hurried horribly through tbe shadow, but these are enough" to kindle the spark of sympathy and quicken the heart beats of the living. Lips tremble telling the tale, eyes moisten during the recital. You never heard ot the victim, never saw tho spot stained by his suffering, were In total ignorance of tbe catastrophe at tbe time of its occurrence, but, all the same, you sympathize, don't youT So, on through tho length and breadth of the great throbbing town. The smoke shuts out the life and the flame curls over tbe crave. You feel then that life is but a slender thread, whicn can be snapped by lire and flood, by wind and wave, in between breaths. Then you ask of the living the weepers left by the sleepers. You want to offer them your sym pathy, of course. You don't know them, you could not pick them out in the street, but you know they belong to the great human family, and your heart declines to stand .on formality. Social forms vanish under sorrow's shock. A disaster binds a city closer. A calamity cements a nation. A horror links the whole world. Hearts for sympathy, hands for succor. Prayer for the dead, provision for the living. Close readers of the newspapers must be of the opinion that the rascals are not all in jaiL After we got one-cent postage some people will want Uncle Sam to lick the stamp. A whale was seen in Chesapeake Bay the other day. Now look out for reports of de vastated oyster beds. Saved by a Word. "Why, what's the matter, Charley, dear? Pray tell me. darling, please!" 'What is that? 'Darling' did I heart You've cured my heart disease!" The Sioux merely sue for a piece of meat, but the soldiers won't have it that way. A force bill The policeman's city warrant, Mrs. O'Shea must know by this time that Farnell has a tongue and a temper, too. The Rosebud Waltz would be a catching title for a new piece of dance music The sug gestion is not copyrighted. A Timely Recipe. Wrap your water pipes in flannels, Plug your chinky window sill; Stop the cracks in kitchen panels. And you'll save a plumber's bill. Bob Inoeesoll says the Democrats always hold four aces when there's nothing in the pot. Not a dollar this time, at all events. Why not send out a little German band to play for the ghost dancers. This would stop them. A SIGN of the present Christmas. Me. Fayebweathers will has given J200, 000 to Columbia College. We hope the weather is fair where he is sojourning. The Kansas City Councilmen have cut a Mel lon. It may be melancholy business for some of them. The Indians want thirst for blood. meat, but the soldiers Governor Pattison's Cabinet, as an nounced in The Dispatch a couple of weeks ago, still stands. Knows No North Nor South. Down in the South the birds are singing. Green buds are bursting, flowers springing In summer air; Up in the North tbe snow is falling. The Ice o'er sluggish stream is crawling, Frost everywhere. Down in the South, mid tropic bowers. The lovers stroll and pluck sweet flowers To twine in balr; Up in the North, where warm tires glow, Rare roses on tbe maid's cheeks grow, Love's everywhere. Opportunities are not scheduled on life's time card, but only the sluggards miss them. There's many a slip between the home and tbe shop nowadays. Go slow. If the girl you adore has a rich mind, don't bother yourself about a dowry. Eva Hamilton is going to play tbo dutiful daughter at home, and thus help to elevate the stage. There may be flaws in tbe flues. Don't go to bed and leave the gas on full head. A man has killed himself because he had more money than he wanted. He was built on different lines than Jay Gould. Voorhees says the newspaper men turn on tbe light in dark places. The Senator's head is level on this point. Tho Way of the World. Some want to banish cigarettes. Some want to stop election bets; Some want to give us racing pools. Some want to separate tbe schools; Some want to crush thearer hats, Some want to keep up baseball spats; Some want to poison all tbe dogs, Some want to read all Stanley's logs; Some want to have an Indian war. Some want to close up every bar; Some want to tell us when to rest, Some want to coax us to invest; v Some want to set tho social pace, Some want to run the human race; Now if they only would keep quiet The world would wag along all right, And life would not be such a fight. Nonsense is the straw that tickles humanity the world over. authors are placed on the same footing as inventors under the copyright law. It is a righteous measure. Aback stoop on a house is all right, but a stooped back on a man is all wrong. People crossed in love are apt to be very cross afterward. The window glass trust talk must give the public a pane. Pistols, Not Flams, Now. Little Jack Horner sat In a corner Handling a Christmas toy; Alas', for poor Jack, it went off with a crack, Pity tho wounded boy. This Is the age of reason, but, hang it, there seems to be too many reasoners. Now the correspondents say the Indians are sleeping on their guns. It's dollars to dough nuts that they're sleeping on their arms. Washington notes New bills Bureau of Engraving and Printing. from the It's easier to tell a lie than to detect the liar. A Time for Tears. When tho burglar breaks into the banlfc And manages to skin it. The cashier utters blankety blank, Because be wasn't in it. There are several mills in a dollar, millions of dollars in mills hereabout. also Magistrates can impose a heavy sentence at light hearings if the crime warrants one. Eve never worried Adam because her gown didn't set nicely in the back. This is the season when careless people set houses on fire in order to keep warm. Scientific ghost dances are con dor tad by J 'T, ? :"tSiai&Lkw They are In Ireland a stage supe Is a broth of a boy. It's hard to tell yet whether Parnellwill lecture, go on tho stage or retire to private life. Some people try to make us believe that life is a game of bluff. They go to pieces when forced to show their hands. Willie Winkle. CHRISTMAS COMING, And Church Fairs and Bazaars Are Now Very Much In Order Several That Re sulted In Financial Successes A Pleas ant Juvenile Party. The new Shadyslde Presbyterian Church, could it have been capable of feeling last night, would have smiled complacently ovgr the prospect of very handsome furnishings, judging from the abundance of specie tbat roiled into the coffers of the various apart ments included in the Christmas Bazaar tbat occupied the chapel, both afternoon and even ing. The four seasons were represented in the ar rangement of thebooths, autnmn being radiant in russet, and bedecked with corn, wheat and various fruits, and forming a dispensing place J,r ,lce creaD and cake. The Misses Lizzie Stevenson, Lydia Hays, Maude Aiken, F. Rees, Rebecca Henshaw and Mrs. York Smith officiating. Winter was punty itself, with show and silver trimmings, and appropriately was the head qnarters for fancy work of all descriptions. MicsM. Crooks, S. Borland. C. Kess, Nora Smith, Clara Aiken and Miss Pitcairn were in charge. Spring, in rose color, octagon-shape, abounded with sweetmeats, and was presided overhv Misses Burd, May Edwards. Eda Young and Effle Smith. Bummer, in a wigwam, cov ered with poppies and clover, was natnraliy the booth of frnit, and Misses Sarah Faber, Mattle Mcintosh and Ethel Acheson were the maidens in charge. Popcorn and peanuts formed a combination, and In a double-gabled booth of golden hue reigned undertbe dominion of Misses Mary Hays. Mamie and Hannah Maxwell. Emma McCUntock, Marsh Rees, May and Gertrude Gerdes. j Misses Daisy Borland.Florence Aiken. Nellie Holmes and Mrs. Abraham Holmes, enshrined in a bower of lemon color, dispensed lemonade, and the fish-pond was in charge of Misses Blanche Rees, Sevilla Friend and Blanche Street. Mfs-George B. Sterret, assisted by Masters Will Hays and Bvran Sterret, successfully managed the Punch and Judy show, and a phonograph added to the cash receipts. The "Old Woman That Lived in a Shoe" cer tainly was in a deplorable state, with her fam ily, in the early evening, but later on was con siderably relieved by the adoption of two or three dozen of her children. She was the guest of Mrs. Dr. R. S. Holmes and Miss Rachel Aiken. PLEASTJEE FOE Y0UNO PEOPLE. A Friday Evening Party That Was Blade Highly Enjoyable. Friday evening is tbe accepted one for social events among the misses and masters who are not yet ont of school, for Saturday morning's sleep need not bo disturbed, and the youthrul dissipators may indulge drowsiness until the luncheon hour if inclination so prompts, thus insuring clear minds and sweet tempers. It is almost treasonable, though, to imagine that any of the lovely yjung ladies or gallant young gentlemen seen at the little dancing party given last night by Miss Mary Brown could ever have anything else but a sweet temper, for smiles and sunshine beamed from each face. But history and mammas affirm that late hours without corresponding rest in the morning, often result In souring natural sweetness. So Miss Brown iu this, the first of several parties she is going to give to young friends this season, wisely selected the not-too-favorably-tb.ought.of Friday, and to those present the.day will, in the future, be en tirely cleared of any unlucky odium that may have been attached to it in the past. The appointments of the affair were perfect, the hostess charming and tho guests thoroughly congenial, being a set that always cliques to gether. Dancing from 8 to 11, and a delicious supper, then the carriages were called. The young ladies present were Misses Mary Langhlln, Madeline Laughlin, Margaret Singer, Agnes Dickson, Annie Scaife. Amy Watson, Roselind Smith, Fannio Oliver, Alice Tindle, Rebecca Darlington and Lizzie Chambers. The masters were: Harry Patterson, Charlie Speer, Charlie Scaife, Harry McCandless, George Robinson, Harry Robinson, Eugene Messier, Arthnr Bell, John Rlcketson, Carroll Fitzhugb and George Morgan. THEIR SECOND BANQUET. Wllklnsburs Master Masons Feast at the Seventh Avenne. The Master Masons' Association, of Wilkins burg, gave Its second annnal banquet at tbe Seventh Avenue Hotel last evening. Most of those present came In from tbo suburban town, and they made quite a large crowd as they con gregated for a moment in tbe Union depot. About SO persons sat down at tbe feast, which was well prepared and much appreciated by the guests. John S. B. Mercer is President of tho asso ciation and acted as toast master. Mayor Gourley made a very pleasing speech and was followed by City Solicitor W. C. Moreland. Two recitations were well delivered by E. S McClelland. Miss Margaret A. Crouch sang tbe "Cavatlna" and "La Giocondo." Both the feasting and literary part of the programme were very enjoyable. BATTEEY E'S BIG BAZAAE Tp he Opened hy an Address by the Mayor, Monday Evening. Battery Ks fa'ir opens at the Fifth Avenue Market House on Monday night, when a special programme of music and songwill be given by the Brigade Band (Cathedral) and tho chorus choir of tbe Fifth Avenue M. P. Church. An address of welcome will be made by Mayor Gourley, who will open the proceedings with considerable pomp and ceremony. The ball has been tastefully decorated with flags and bunting, and liberal" donations of use ful articles from city merchants will be exposed for sale. Tbe admission Monday night will be 25 cents, and 10 cents thereafter. The Stanley Lecture. The uniform price of tickets for the Stanley lecture will bo 81, and tbe statement that they were to be sold for 81 and 81 50, and tbat alone is in error. The general admission will be 81. while reserved seats are held at 82 and S3, and in addition there are to be 150 seats on tbe stage at $5 each. The interest displayed in Mr. Stan ley's coming.as evidenced by the manyinquiries for tickets.) ndicates that standing room will ba at a premium. Theater Pa rty at the Duqnesne. A theater party to which Mr. J. G. Kaeller, the General Agent of the Western Electric Company, was host, occupied a box at the Duqnesne last evening. It was composed of six gentlemen, whom the gonial New Yorker wished to honor in return for the many favors shown him. a stranger In the city. A dinner at tbe Hotel Anderson followed. A Semi-Monthly Dance. The Allegheny Cotillion Club gavo another of its semi-montbly dances at the Monongahela House last evening. The ball closed with a banquet. Social Chatter. The quarterly meeting of tho Connty W. C. T. U. will bo held at Elizabeth on Tuesday next. The delegates to the National Conven tion recently held at Atlanta, Ga., will both make reports. Next Monday, at 10 o'clock A. M., Prof. Byron W. King will present tbo subject of Elo cution before the M. E. Ministerial Associa tion, at its rooms on Smithfleld street. Cards will soon be issued for a very largo and elegant reception to be given next Friday evening by Mrs. John Hays, of Sherman ave nue, Allegheny. "Our Country's Possibilities and Perils" is the subject upon which J. DeWitt Miller will lecture at tbe Third U. P. Church, Monday evening. AN open meeting that Is expected to be of peculiar interest will be held by Patterson Post 157. G. A. R., next Thursday evening. An afternoon euchre party was given yester day by Mrs. George Deans, at her home on Arch street, Allegheny. Mrs. if. J. Close, of Terrace avenue, enter tained with progressive euchre a number of friends last night. THE Linden Club gave its third progressive euchre party last evening. There were 20 tables and six prizes. The Allegheny German Club gave a dance at the Monongahela House last evening, fol lowed by a supper. Mrs. MoNeal, of Frankstown avenne, en tertained the Lincoln Avenue Euchre Club last evening. Mrs. James Irwin, of Neville street, gave a charming euchre party last evening. Mrs. John 'A. Brashear entertained a small company yesterday afternoon. The Selleueld Presbyterian, Church held a social last evening. , Boston's Psychical Researchers, cheaper than the Indian sort. THE TOPICAL TALKER, Dress Didn't Matter. QRIES of 'flrer waked me." said a gentle man who slept at the Seventh Avenue Hotel on Thursday night, "and the noise of the engines fell upon my ear as I jumped out of bed. My room looked out upon the courtyard of the hotel, and of course I could see nothing when 1 ran to tbe wiudow. But the fire bells and shouting continued, and when a call boy knocked at my door saying that there was a fire nearby but no Immediate danger, I was nearly dressed. I am not afraid of many things, buttbe idea of fire always scares me, and I suppose that accounts for the plight in in which I found myself when I reached the lobby downstairs. I should never have noticed it in tbe excitement, but a friend of mine called my attention to tbe fact that my nether gar ments were on wrong side before and I was carrying a single sock In my left band. But these small singularities in costume did not at tract general attention in that motley crowd of panic-stricken men and women." Hard on Hen Roosts, Too. ,jJt's mos' contrary 'at deso yer Tanksgivln' an' Chrismas comes so close togedder," remarked George Washington Smith to his bosom friend, Alexander Napoleon Jones. "Was you t'inkin ot celebratin' B'rer Smith?" "No, B'rer Jones but I was stuhbln' my mind agin der fac' dat it am mighty habd for der poll man to have to expose hisself ter buckshot an' dawgs twict in a month." Give Arms, Gentlemen ! Tf yon observe the crowds upon the streets any evening of tbe week about the time tbe theaters open you will discover that a good ma jority of the couples abroad do not walk arm-in-arm as they used to do, but apart. The hour named is the best for the observation of this phenomenon because the young man and bis best girl, and married people are then to be seen together in the greatest number. Age, station In life, and other circumstances do not appear to modify this fashion in perambulation. A great many men have seemingly ceased to offer their arm3 and women to take them. The habit some men havo of taking a woman's arm as if tbey were making an arrestisbad enough, but the new style of going it alone Is far ug lier and more ungaliant. How did It originate Nobody can say. Perhaps It will abate when men get to thinking of tbe significance that may be attached to their behavior, and still likelier are tbe women to protest when they ap preciate the disrespectthe demalof theescort's arm may be taken to show. When a man walks with a "woman at night and does not give her his arm in city streets, of course there is reason to believe that he is ashamed of the company he keeps. Ot course, the hundreds and thousands that have fallen into this singu lar habit have never stopped to think of its consequences. There is another view of the matter to be taken. Locomotion on a crowded street is much easier for a pair if they link arms; they keep step better? conversation Is more readily carried on, and tbe weaker partner m the alli ance obtains the real protection of her knight. Indeed, it is tolerably certain that the women are not in favor of singular progress through the streets. Tbe bad habit is probably mascu line. A general call to arms should effect a reform two arms linked together. A Fiery Coincidence. TI AVE you noticed tbat fires come in cycles? For a time tbe firemen will hare little or nothing to do and then conflagration follows npon conflagration," said a Plttsburger yester day, commenting upon a frequently remarked phenomenon. "Yes," said a Washington correspondent, "and I'm reminded by it of what occurs in a Government department at a change in admin istration. One man is fired, then another, and then it's a case of 'fire' all along the line!" Different Callings. i ('THESE stock exchange tricks, these puts and calls, are demoralizing business men," said old Magnus, looking up from the financial column of his paper. "I can quite understand tbat my dear," as sented Mrs. Magnus, "for although I don't know anything about 'puts.' I do know that lam completely exhausted after an afternoon's calling." PUR MAIL POUCH. no Objects to Standing. To the Editor of The Dispatch: Your readable editorials on 'A Mistaken Spirit" and "Tho Right of Standing Up" sug gest the following thoughts: Tho writer freely acknowledges the mistake Cleveland and Phil adelphia papers make in belittling Pittsburg's ship canal, and asks what shall bo said of tbe spirit and attitude of the Pittsburg press in be li'.tling tho coming World's Fair T The rudi mentary sensation of patriotism, even wbero its elements are least appreciated, would ap parently dictate a different course, since only enemies ot America can find comfort in such prophecies of evil as tbo Eastern press has gen erally indulged in. Your editorial writer beg3 the question in supposing that a law compell incr street railway companies to furnish seats for passengers would diminish and not increase street railway accommodations for tbo public comfort. If there is such a thing as common sense In rapid transit it involves intelligent foresight and provision for at least the ordi nary, everyday needs of the public. And how singularly lacking is such loresight and pro vision even in Pittsburg's present advanced stage of progress in intramural transit! Tbe other evening tbe writer left Fifth and Wood on a Pittsburg Traction car which carried some 70 passengprs tho last man get ting a scat at Oakland. He is confident that many fares were missed by tbe conductor without fault of his, and. of coarse, everybody was annoyed. This was at 5:15 and tbe car bad no trailer, and the writer remembers of none met on the trip. Now a trailer costing 51,060 would have been found exceedingly profitable. Under such a law as the European one quoted by you, and whatever maybe said of the case of holiday and other irregular travel, there is absolutely no excuse for such failure as tbat noted. It was a plain case of parsi mony or stupidity in management. Yet tbe control of this road has repeatedly announced that they will punish a late asso ciate, now promoting a competing road, for his presumption in competing with them by a re duction oi tueir larc to j cents mo uay uis roaa starts. The writer predicis that the public will not invest in the personal quarrel of the rival lines, but -that, on the contrary, the road furnishing seats and in general mingling brains with Its management, will attract and hold the best of the traffic, cvon at 5 cents against 3 and present methods and accommodations. Fur ther, that little gift of prophecy Is needed to promise plenty of business to both tbe roads in question and more. Without the slightest acquaintance with any of the parties to the controversy.tbe writer suggests to the bellicose managers that tbey spend this money in in creasing this present inadequate service, in stead of warring against competition already too long delayed, and sure of an inevitable and cordial welcome by the riding public Pittsburg;, Dec 5. . S. J. Mactarren. Not Obligatory In Either Case. To the Edlfor of the Dispatch: Is It necessary for the lady, she being of age, to accompany the gentleman in order to pro cure a marriage license? Does tho law make it oblitory that license should bo published when issued? Constant Reader. Dunbar, Pa, Dec i. He Cannot Play It Alone. To the Editor orThe Dispatch: Plcasoletme know through the columns of your paper whether, in playing a gamo of euchre, the dealer can play it alono when his partner has order.id him up, or if he can when one of the other two has ordered him. Wheelino, Dec 5. Constant Reader, The Words With tho Vowels. To the Editor of the Dispatch: Tbe two words containing tbe vowels in their order are "abstemious" and "facetious." Pittsburg, Dec 5. Small Boy. A Genuine New England Supper. A New England supper everyone knows what that means, and what an array of savory viands compose one will be given at the First Congregational Church, corner of Franklin and Manhattan streets, on Thursday. Decern Der 11. Tbe ladles of this church are famous for the special merit of their New England suppers, that are annual affairs, and are looked forward to with interest and longing by all who have ever partaken of them. Something New In Bazaars. Tbe Heart and Hand Society of the Third Presbyterian Church will give a church fair on Friday evening, December 19. The young ladles who compose this society declare that tbeir fair will be something out of the usual order of church fairs, and Are Tacking their composite Drain in a fearful manner to concoct new and unique features. CURIOUS CONDENSATIONS. Paris contains 87,426 trees. Fresno county, Cal., has 50,000 acres o vineyards. The School Fund of Butte, Mont., con. tains 8110,000 in hard coin. A Russian millionaire i building the largest steam yacht known 1,000 tons. A tunnel between Scotland and Ireland is discussed, 30 miles long, to cost H0.000.000. Parisians send each year 33.000,000 let ters. 13,000,000 postal cards and 83,000,000 news papers. The Japanese armv has had its first manenTers. Twenty thousand" men were en gaged in two opposing forces. The English professional football plav- f!?!if,e.tas,h,!:h,V H-000 fftr the FMSonandan additional weekly salary of 815 or 820, Etch year Parisians take out 7,000 patents for various Inventione, send and receive o0.C00 foreign telegrams and 3,000.000 city tele gram;. A tnst seven feet long and a tooth welching over jpven pound, snnposed to have been part of a mastodon, have been unearthed at Monson, la. At Fort 3lyers, Fla., a day or two aeo Dr. Z. J. Brown cut a stalk of ribbon grass which ha been crowing one year, measuring between 11 and 15 feet in length. It is said that the Eed Maize clan of the Omabas would not eat red maize, and tbe Elk clan of the same tribe would not eat the flesh or touch any part of tbe male elk. A very extensive domestic industry in Russia consists In the manufacture of wooden jonon". which are made to the extent of 30,000,000 annually, mostly of birch. In Paris there are 11.000 cabs and the same number of omnibuses: 25,000 objects are lost each vear In cab. and at the railway stations 67,000,000 travelers arrive yearly. Believing himself to be descended from, and therefore akin to. his totem, the savage naturally treats it with repect. If It is an animal he will not, as a rule, kill or eat it. The number of species of humminsr birds now known to exist considerably exceed 400. The largest amonir them measures no more than 8K inches, and the least ITS inches. H Out of the birk of the birch, which is impermeable to water, a kind of hark shoes is d! in Russia, of which it is estimated that -A UOO.OOO pairs are annually worn by the Russian peasantry. Between January 1 and November 15 the shipments of orchard and vineyard products of Fresno countv. Cal.. amounted to 23.400,005 pounds. It reqnlred 1,170 cars to move this im mense load. Water in Mad river, Humboldt county, Cal., is very low. says the Areata Union, and the mouth is entirely closed. Countless nnm persnr salmon are swarming in tbe surf wait ing for a chance to run upstream. An agent for a San Francisco com mission honso went to Visalia recently and bought 3.200 turkey in one dav. He paid 51 50 for each bird, and so placed 81.800 in circula tion among the women of that place. The Osages have a myth that they are descended from a mail snail and a female beaver. The snail burst her shell, developed arms, feet and leg", and became a fine tall man; afterward he married the beaver maid. Among the Narrinyeri in South Aus tralia men of the Snake clan sometimes catch snakes, pull out tbeir teeth or sew np their months and keep them as pets. Sara Bern hardt could learn a thing or two lrom this tribe. It is said that not less than $100,000 worth of "corn cures" are annually sold in tbe United States. There are some of them that may be not unreasonably regarded as cultirat ing corns enough to account for the sales of tho others. The singular fact is on record that in one instance as tho yonngof the humming bird grew in size the walls of the nest were height ened by the parents, until at last the nest was more than twice as big as when tbe eggs were laid and batched. A man in Jackson county, Ore., has been plowing this fall with a steam engine, and has found tbatdt works quite successfully. He pulls eight plows with bis engine, and turns over tbe soil at tbe rate of 15 acres per dav. Tbe cost of running the outfit Is not over S3 per day. The Swiss railways intend to introduce ths zone tariff for passengers, now that the sys tem proves so successful In Austro-Hungary. During the first year of the zone tariff in Hun. gary the various lines carried over 13.000,000 passengers, against 5,000,000 during the previous twelvemonth. An extraordinary incident occurred recently in England during a run with tbe hounds of Sir Watkin Williams Wynn. In passing a cottage the fox found himself among a lot of fowls. Absolutely regardless of possi hie consequences, he snatched np one ot tbe birds, and carried it is mouth to tbe end of the run, and was killed with it in his mouth. Two copies of every article that is ac cepted by tho editors are kept by the great magazine publishers. When a manuscript is accepted it is at once copied out in typewriting, and after tbat one copy can be sent to tbe art ist who ii to illustrate ic. or to the printer who is to set it up, wltbout the risk of such a loss as will compel tbe author to rewrite lt,and the pub lisher to pay for it twice The other evening, up aOrehama, Ore., when George P. Terrell's little 12-year-old daughter went down to the pasture to drive up tbe cows she found a Drettv little 2-year-old deer feeding with them. She drove tbe cows to tbe barnvard. and tbe deer Tan along with them, as sportive as a calf on a Jnne morning. When tbey were all secure in tbe barn tbe deer was caught with but little trouble and is readily submitting to domestication. It is fresh and hearty and will make a nice pet for tbe chil dren. Tbe food of humming-birds consists mainly of insects, mostly gathered from the flowers they visit. An acute observer writes tbat even among the common flower-frequenting species he has found the alimentary canal en tirely filled with Insects, and very rarely a traea of honey. It is this fact doubtless tbat has hindered almost all attempts at keeping them in confinement for any lenzth of time nearly every one making the experiment bating fed his eiptives only with syrup, which is wholly insufficient as sustenance, and seeing therefore the wretched creatures gradually sink into in anition and die of hungar. HUMOR OF THE HOUR. Spacer "What head did you put on your article. Lever None. It Is a tale. Sew Tort Herald. A Xew York auctioneer advertised For Sale A large qnantity of oil paintings hy some of tbe most ancient masters of tbe day. Jo-atht Companion. Dimmack Don't those good, old college longs electrify yon ? Miss Arlington-Well, I'm free to say that that one, at least, shocks me, Christmas Jitdgt. Bessie Jessie told me last night that sha thought your face a poem. George Fosslbly that was the reason she re jected me. Xeio York Herald. Head of Firm Oh, by the way, Mr. Travers, I shall have to asc you to stay In the office all day next Wednesday; I am coins out ot town. Travers (aslde)-Hang the luex I Tbat Is the very day I bad arranged to have my grandmother ale.-Life. Miss Brunc (who has passed the summer at Bar Harbor) Kitty, will you do me a favorf MlssBlonn-WlllI? Ask it. Miss Brunc Let Peters bring me a choeolatt eclair Instead of this vanilla one. It doesn't match my tan. tou know. Christmas Judge. A young woman sent to a newspaper a poem, entitled, 'I Cannot Make Him Smile," andjras much displeased when the editor sent II back with a line saying that she would probably succeed If she showed htm tho poem. ZontH's Companion. Dashaway The other night I went to aa amateur theatrical performance, and then I went home and bad a terrible dream. Clevcrton What did you dream? Dashaway 1 dreamt I went to It again. S Xork Sun. She There's that horrid Mr. Gargoyle. Have you ever seen his wife? He-No: but she's a blonde. "How do y on knowf" T was with Gargoyle half an hour yesterday, - and he spoke admiringly of every Brnneiw wno passed."-. Nellie Well, Edie.howdo you likegolng to school? d!e (her tfrst expcrlencel-l don't like Itl Nellie Why, Edle. what's the matwr? Don't you like your teacher? Edle No: I don't like berone bltt She put me In a chair and told me to sit there for the present, and I sat-and sat and sat, and she never cave nn any present atallt Boston Budget. mm '9 -iniihttHi imMmmtr? 1"1illllPSffM'11l8rPWFlWtJ BSBSwsKiraiSiWB HffjJi6K?cH