JJjm ilmllilmjjiw, , -:.juu-umll.-iiii iWntMtiiTr'iiigisiBiLLLBWHMisBBMiWFM K 4" ' . THE' PITTSBURG' DISPATCH, THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 13, 1890. - JH9HBHHB! m . -i Vb gm r jjepaifii. ESTABLISHED FEBRUARY 8, 1S46. Vol.4 No.9 -Entered at Pittsburg rostoffice, November 14. US, as second-class matter. Business Office Corner Smithfleld and Diamond Streets. News Rooms and Publishing House 75, 77 and 79 Diamond Street EASTERN ADVERTISING OFFICE. UOOM 21, TRIBUNE BUll.DlNU. NEW YORK, where compIetefllesotTME DISPATCH can always be round. Fore-gn advertisers appreciate the con venience, loino advertisers and friends of THE DISPATCH, while la hew York, arc also made welcome. THE DISPATCH it regularly on sale at Hrentano's, S Union Square. -.Veto York, aid 17 Art. ae rOptia, ram, France, where anyone trfto hat been disapvointed at a hotel newt stand can obtain it, TERMS OF THE DISrATCH. TOSTAOE TREE IS THE tTXITEP STATES. Daily Dispatch. One Year I 8 "0 Dailt Disr-ATcn, 1'er Quarter - Daily Dispatch, One .Month 70 Daily Disr-ATCii, Including Sunday, 1 year. 10 00 Daily Dispatch, Including bund.iy,3ra'ths 159 Daily Dispatch. Including Sunday, im'th 90 Mixdav Dispatch. One Year ISO "Welklt Dispatch, One Year 1 S The Daily- Dispatch Is dell eretl by carriers at 35 cents per week, or inducing bunday edition, at 20 cents per week. PITTSBURG, THURSDAY. IsOV. IS, 1S90. TESTING THE M'lUNLEY BILL. There is a good ileal of loose talk going around, and much advice being showered upon the Republican leaders, as to what they should do when thor pull themselves together as a party to face the Democratic majority in the House; and also as to the line they should take through the coming winter session, while they will still hold the reins in the National Legislature. Some of this advice proceeds from petu lance within the party produced by the late reverses; some from honest, but not sound, judgment. .Much of the poorest of it drifts in the direction oi telling the leaders to abandon several features of the McKinley Vill and try and tinker the law anew with a view to catering to what has been repre sented as a popular prejudice against the McKinley bill. "Wben the Republican party leaders act as a unit upon a policy clearly defined as the 'best result of the experience of the country and acceptable to the whole party, they are strong, and have on the whole proven them selves abundantly able to hold their own against the Democratic leaders. "When flushed with success and power they pro ceed to extreme partisan ends, as in the force bill, and the upsetting of parliament ary precedents, and are also afflicted with the dissensions that spring from the distri bution ot patronage, they suffer reverses. It is doubtless true that gross misrepresenta tions and manufactured prejudices against the McKinley bill increased the reverses this fall. But if there is any one policy upon which the party has consistently won it is that of protection to home industries. The McKinley bill was passed after the most careful and intelligent thought and labor as the best measure which the intelli gence of the party could produce. The part of wisdom now is for the Republican lead ers to stand by it firmly until it is tried. They know that the clamcr against the bill proceeds either from Democratic sources or from those wno have been prejudiced by prices which were raised before the bill got into actual operation. To condemn without trial to-morrow a measure wnich yesterday they honestly approved, when they can insure a three years actual trial of the bill, would be an instance of weak folly into which they will assuredly not be led. Tne McKinley bill may not be per fect in all its details. No tariff bill ever can be. Every alteration of the tariff must necessarily be in the natnre of a business experiment But the Republican leaders know that as whole their tariff policy has been for the best interests of the country, and by the country approved time and again. By that policy, if by anything in the later history of the partv. they can stand with confidence. Should the opera tion of the McKinley bill bring continued and increased prosperity, a conviction to which their votes are already pledged, they will occupy an impregnable position in 3b"92. If the tariff had any considerable part in the general defeat of last week, it was not because of intelligent judgment; for the McKinley bill has not yet been tried. "When the Republican leaders get out of the shadow of widespread temporary disap pointments which are now seen darklv, they will assuredly not suffer themselves to be stampeded by a mere clamor about the tariff, when they have the chance to give their own measure a fair three years' trial. This the McKinley bill will get. Aided by the possibilities of Mr. Blaine's reciprocity measures it may, and there is as much reason as ever to think will, yet prove the strong staffof the party when other devicesin tended transparently for mere partisan suc cess have utterly failed and been cast be hind. THE CHARGE OF MANIPULATION. The improved tone of the New York stock market, yesterday, which developed into an actual upward movement on some stocks, at the same time that the London market continues to show weakness and decline, is Significant of the conclusion that a great share of the recent complication was due to manipulation. No doubt the foreign trouble afforded the opportunity for the squeeze; but the surface indications leave little doubt that the trouble was exagger ated and the depression increased by cer tain great operators who were bearing stocks for their own benefit. In view of the evident presence of mani pulation, a great deal of cogency is given to the inquiry of the ihtfesfiiafor, an out spoken "Wall street journal, as to the object 6f the conference of Mr. Jay Gould and other railway magnates at Drexel, Morgan & Co.'s office last week. The participants in the comereuce avowedly engaged in an effort to establish a big railway combination. If they used their im mense financial power to squeeze the Btock market, thev might as a result buytup enough stock in the lines that are at present beyond their control, to make the scheme successful; and then with the combination put in operation, they could lay the foundation for a great bull movement, with a view of unloading their stocks at high tide. Having, by this opera tion, transferred millions of money to their own pockets, they would be in a position to repeat the squeezing process with greater power than ever. This theory of the panic, coming from a "Wall street source and agreeing with the know tacts, is an interesting one. It illus trates the fact that railway combinations and railway wars generally have a big stock manipulation in the background. It would also, if true, show the men -who make the most noise about preserving stock values I 9 from depreciation can look at things differ ently when their interest or plans point in another direction. GENERAL BOOTH'S GREAT PROJECT. General Booth, the Commander of the Salvation Army, has lately demonstrated himself to be something more than a suc cessful and bizarre revivalist, by perfecting the general details of a plan to convert the poor of London into self-supporting and prosperous labor in various parts of the world. General Booth's plan has much in it that is well founded and 'reasonable, and is attracting wide attention. As Archdeacon Farrar, the Prince of "Wales, Cardinal Manning And the Protestant bishops generally, are indorsing the project and urging the raising of a fund to put it in practical operation, the macter is of wide interest, both as an interesting experiment and for the suggestions which it contains for effort to improve the condition of the poor all over the world. General Booth is not satisfied withanypro ject which merely affords temporary relief to the hungry and destitute and leaves them subject to the conditions which created their poverty. For the purpose of changing the conditions of poverty, or, at least, removing the destitute from their influence, he elaborates, in "Darkest England, or the "Way Out," a scheme in which eleemosy nary charity is combined with the principle of co-operation. In other words, the desti tute are to be helped to learn to help them selves. For thispurpose the organization to be founded by the fund which General Booth would raise is divided into three institu tions, the city colony, the farm colony and the over-sea colony, the nrst being a prepar atory school for the second, and the second a training ground for the third. In the city colony the destitute would be permitted to pay in work for their food and lodcing. Labor registers would be pro vided for finding employment directly for those suited to help themselves. Those who need training, however, to fit them to be come self-sustaining would be passed on to the farm colony, where they would be taught fruit and dairy farming, poultry raising, to build their own farm buildings and cottages down to the making of bricks. One of the original features of these two branches would be the conversion of city waste into valuable products. The labor of the city colony is to be.largely, the gathering of old clothes, bottles, broken victuals and other refuse, and at the farm colony the old food will be fed to animals, the grease will be made into soup, waste paper will be assorted and sent to paper mills, waste tin made into toys, and so on. The labor in these first two branches is to be paid only in food, lodging and clothing, but when the inmates are thoroughly pre pared to sustain themselves they will be sent to one of the over-sea colonies. These will be districts selected in various parts of the world where land is to be bad for the asking and where pioneers will have pre pared the sites. "When the colonist arrives at one of these he will be given a house and farm free of expenses, except for the obliga tion to pay for his passage and outfit. Thus the destitute person who enters the city food and shelter depot as an outcast will be located at the over-sea colony as an inde pendent and valuable member of society. It will be seen that General Booth's plan is founded on the idea of transferring labor from the places where it is over-crowded and insufficiently employed to where it is needed. It also contains a recognition of the fact that there is a practically unlimited field for labor and production in the un settled parts of the world. The principle is the true one, and for the relief of the people who are now crowded into cities the scheme is a noble one. But its shortcoming, viewed as a permanent remedy for the evils of city pauperism, is that it tails to attempt any change in the original influences which overcrowd the great cities. This is no ob jection to General Booth's project, but it is a necessary perception of the wider and deeper duty for society of changing the conditions, which if left undisturbed will fill the slums ot the cities with fresh recruits to the ranks of poverty as fast as General Booth's plan can make room for them. The causes which crowd destitute hu manity into the great cities are infinitely varied; but each country is likely to present a leading one that is typical of the fact that the blindness of legislation or the abnormal conditions of social organization are the effective causes ot these extreme manifesta tions of poverty. One of the critics of General Booth's plan points out that rural England is one of the most thinly populated districts in all Europe and asks why the colonists should be taken overseas. This only serves to call attention to the tact that one reason why city slums are crowded in England is that the system of vast landed estates prevents the land from being fully utilized for the sustenance of the population and reserves it for the con trol ot a privileged few. In this country, as long as our transportation system by con centrating competition in transportation at a few distributing points, forces the crowd ing of industry and commerce in the cities, so long will the dregs of the laboring popu lation crowded together at these points produce the phenomena ot the most ultra forms of poverty. When legislation actively directs itself to ward removing the conditions that crowd the poor together in great cities, and to pre venting the abuses by which great fortunes can be created at the cost of the masses, the influences which create centers of destitu tion will be taken away. Then such organ ized wortc as that proposed by General Booth might be expected, not to abolish poverty altogether, but to work so vast an improve ment and alleviation as to be almost mil lennial. AFRICAN ADVERTISING. The Stanley correspondence is becoming farcical. Everyone connected even remotely with the expedition to rescue Emin Pasha deems it a duty to exploit himself in print. Herbert "Ward thinks it necessary to deny that he stole some silver spoons and brassrods which were taken into the Dark Continent, presumably to enlighten the natives, but which disappeared mysterously en route. Of course "Ward has aright to clear him self of any aspersion that may have been made upon his name, but the suspicion creeps in that a lot of third rate hangers on are trying to advertise themselves at the expense of a really great explorer. THE FLNKERTON RULE. A case reported lroni Brooklyn so com pletely casts in the shade all the other previous assertions of power by the private detectives as to almost rite to the rank of epoch-making events. Certainly if the assertion of superiority to ordinary law, made in this case, is permitted to go undis puted, there can no longer be any donbt that the period of government by law is ended, and, in its place we have a govern ment bv irresponsible powers, acting through their equally irresponsible agents, private detectives. The case was that of a man who was ar rested on a charge of burglary by one of the Pinkertona. On being brought before the Police Court his counsel produced evidence that he had already been tried and acquitted of the offense for which he was under arrest. The Justice ordered the man to be dis charged, but Detective Pinkerton refused to discharge him and proceeded to put hand cuffs on the prisoner in the presence of the Court The justice ordered him to take the handcuffs off, and he refused to do so. A struggle between the detective and his pris oner ensued, the officers of the court look ing on quietly, and finally the all-powerful Pinkerton bore off his prisoner in triumph. This practical "assertion by a Pinkerton detective of the power to overrule the orders of the Courts of Justice, and to take away the liberty of a man discharged by legal authority, is a little the most wanton defiance of law that has been perpetrated by those who pretend to be the upholders of law. It is to be noticed that this assertion ot illegal power is only made possible by an equal display ot puerility on the part of the Court in this instance. If the Court and its officers, where this little incident occurred, had been worth their salt, this detective would have been under arrest very soon after he commenced to defy the orders of the Court. SWIFT CANADLYN JUSTICE. Unless something extraordinary inter venes Birchall, the murderer, will be hanged in Canada to-day. Although the ingenuity of the rascally criminal has availed to raise a cloud of doubt about the case Birchall's guilt has been settled. Canadian justice does not waste time with gnilty men, and within four months of the murder's doing, and about six weeks after the sentence, Birchall will be hanged. So long as the death penalty remains, this is the best way to carry it out The speed and directness ot avenging justice makes it exemplary. A BLACK ART. Probably the gyrations of a raven's tail was never made the subject of protracted study by the majority of people. It is for tunate for the ravens that tastes differ, and for humanity that their pursuits are varied1. There has jnst been published in London a book written by an American, which, from beginning to end, never ceases to discuss the muscular structure of a raven. The volume has 328 pages. According to the preface this book occupies a unique place. Whether it fills a long-felt want is not so certain, although it is pos sible that it anticipates and will gratify a scientific curiosity created by its advent Popularly speaking it does not seem un timely, in view of the present wave of inter est inthe locomotion of the air which is pass ing over the country. The author apparently possesses some of the independent characteristics of his bird. He states that he collected all the material, made all of the dissections, together with the drawings therefrom, and that the de scriptions were all in his handwriting. The book seems to have momentarily dazed the English Saturday Review critic, who pro nounces it "not an easy fortress to storm." In referring to the anatomy of the tail of the raven, the author warms up to his subject and characteristically observes that "a mo ment's reflection is sufficient to convince us that all those varied movements, so essential to the feathery rudder of this black avian knight, can be executed to a nicety by this wonderfully complete musculature of his caudal extremity." Again, if the reading public craves an adequate explanation of how the "inter pleurapophysial membrane is attached to the tendinous extremities of the digitations of the serratus magnus anticus muscle," or to grasp the "relation of the accessory femorocaudal muscle and the obturator ex ternus to the sciatic atery," this treatise can be recommended as affording an unprece dently excellent opportunity for acquiring such information. It is curious that the raven had to come to America, so to speak, before it conld re ceive that poetic justice which rendered it famous for evermore, or the unprecedented development of its muscular system now made manifest for the first time. The report that Major McKinley will be offered the Russian mission, to be vacated by Charles Emery Smith, would, if confirmed, point rather strongly to two conclusions; first, that Mr. Smith is impressed with the necessity of infusing more judgment into the conduct of the Philadelphia Republican organs; and sec ond, that Major McKinley appears to some one near the head of the administration so much of a Presidental quantity that it is best to get him as far out of the country as possible. But as the report may be untrue neither inference can yet be too confidently assumed. The Army Board to select sites for gun factories has started out on a guuning expedi tion for sites evidentlv on the system deter mining what sites are not wanted. Having visited Indianapolis, Rock Island and the Pacific coast it goes to Now Orleans this week. Pittsburg, being manifestly one of the best places in the county, the board will probably get around here the last of all. Il is a rather remarkable way to extract comfort out of the elections that is adopted by the Philadelphia I'rest in quoting Daniel "Webster's words: "I shall enter on no en comiums on Massachusetts; there she stands!" and tben saying: "Yes, there she docs stand: an example of lolly." Perhaps this is the best that can be evolved from the situation; but as a specimen of political argument, it evokes a comparison with the juror who declared that the reason the jury could not agree was because there wero eleven ot the most obstinate men on it that he ever bad the misfortune to meet The "Wall street money kings are pocket ing their profits out of the squeeze and as suring the rest of the country that the panic really had no significance worth mentioning. The statement of the Jenkins who re ported the visit of the Czarewltcb to Vienna, that the Prince was extremely nervous at first, but was doubtless immensely relieved when Francis Joseph had welcomed him by vehe mently kissing him on both cheeks, is fully justified by the nature of the reception. A young Romanoff who is contemplating the ordeal of being kissed vehemently by a mascu line Hapsburgmaybe pardoned for anticipa tory nervousness and retrospective relief when the process is over. Still, there remains the fact that the country will not bo completely out of danger until the baseball war is settled. The objections to "Ward McAllister are overruled by the New York Sun with the re mark that "a man who can shuck: oysters with neatness and dispatch must be a good Ameri can citizen." If McAllister is an able oyster cracker he can be conceded a function of use fulness; bet he should not make such a parade of himself until he has demonstrated his superiority by an oyster opening contest with some of the professional gorgers. The tidal wave that now attracts the most attention is the tidal wave of explanations as to how It happened. It is seldom the old saying that ''an earthquake may be bid to spare the man that's strangled by a hair," is doubly illustrated in the news of one day as was the case yesterday. One of the oldest and best known citizens of Cass county, Indiana, died from the effects of a rat bite, while in Syracuse a prominent contractor slipped upon a banana skin, fractured his skull and died In a few hours. SNAP SHOTS IN SEASON. Foolish questions are harder to answer than wise ones, and sensiblo folk thould pay no at tention to them. Do you cut across lots or stick to the long way? The world is full ot bard, well-worn, tiresome roads, you know, but you will not be considered a trespasser if you jump the fences and lessen the distance leading to the goal. Of course the footway wilt be rougher and less distinct, bnt even If you do stub your toes on tho boulders and tangled roots, scratch your hands on the briars and cover your clotbinc with burs, you get there quicker and bavo more time to rest than if you plodded along ovdr the mile-stone marked highway. True, most of us stick to the beaten track. Wo see only a wilderness on either side, and are afraid to nter it. Some there be, however, whi. after carefully taking bearings, plunge into the thicket and blaze a pathway cut across lots and leave a lane which others can tread In safety. These are the pioneers ot progress, the leaders, the guides. And then tlioso who do not place reli ance in tho compass or take time to study the linger boards in tho firmament follow until the footway broadens and brightens under the tramp of feet, the thinning out ot trees and underbrush. All honor to the man or the woman who cuts across lots to reach a destina tion. They be the road builders, tbe surveyors whose chain shines like a streak of silver through life's wilderness. Tho paths they first trod soon cross and recross the long, dusty, rutty, fenced-in avenue. The;r open up new scenes new worlds. They break the monotony. They shorten the road, to be sure, but lengthen life by adding new planks to the treadmill. They round off tho corners and lop off tbe miles. Every face can wear a smile. And can carry it about But don't wear it all tho while, Else you'll surely wear it out The policeman is a product of civilization, but his club is a relic of barbarism. We should be satisfied with the forms and faces given us by the Maker. They cannot be improved on by art and are good enough to wear to the grave. The more thickly populated a State becomes the more uncertain grows its politics. Yon can buy a man, but there is no law which compels him to keep his part of the bar gain. The pinch in Wall street made the brokers squeal. It is ticklish business, though. According to Stanley, Einin Pasha is a smaller man than the pigmies discovered by tbe relief expedition. The preachers who would deny us innocent amusement look solely upon the serious side of life. If tbe tools tho devil works with can be placed in safe hands he is crippled and discom fited. Lives of some men oft remind us That wealth comes to those who toil But the gold we leave behind us May be lost m grain or oil. Too much liberty breeds'lawlessness. Girls would rather wear rings than thim bles, and this is where they make a mistake. Fashion can bankrupt a diess goods manu facturer by a mere caprice. Wall street is mercurial, nation's business barometer. but it is not the The Eleventh Census will hardly be com pleted before the Twelfth will be ordered. The saloon passenger gets j'ist as slct as the steerage victim aboard ship. The sea is a great lereler. It's all right to picture heaven as beautiful as possible and paint bell horrible. The effect of the paintings, on humanity cannot but be beneficial. The man who says his feet at all times. - "I will" usually lands on The Jaw is rigorously invoked nowadays to save the guilty from punishment The tariff bill went into effect sooner than the practical politicians expected. Talk may be cheap, but Stanley's isn't Five thousand dollars for one tall: is rather costly. The Prohibitionists should be strong In tem perate zones, bnt they are not Prof. Koch has put his consumption cure within.the roach of all. But some speculative ghouls may work a corner in this country and put up the price. Prevent this, if possible. You see him In the cable car, You see him in tbe show; You see him at the mixed drink bar. And everywhere you go. His face is sad, his eyes are dim, His nose Is rosy red; You cannot help bnt pity him Tbe cold is in his bead. "Id's beastly wedder. don'd you know; I'mb all broke ub," he'll say. Tben he will give his nose a blow And wipe a tear away. We are better acquainted with the business men who advertise than we are with our next door neighbor. Is everybody's mouth tho tongue. If bappiness could be purchased there would bo more money in circulation. The Players' League seems to have struck out It was clubbed to death in Pittsburg. Some banks have been caught in the AVall street whirl, but thev are amply secured. They will not go to tbe wall. One New York Presbytery has voted to allow ladies to work at prayer meeting. This prob ably means that they will wrestle with prayer. The erip is closing schools in Germany. It is very influenzal. We very often extend sympathy where we sbould offer our pocketbook. The height of a lawbreaker's ambition is to keep out of jail. The complexity of our legal machinery helps him in this direction. How would it do to change Its name from Wall to Wail street The men or women who practices medicine on a diploma granted by a mushroom medical college are assassins, and should be treated as such. Those who believe the world is degenerating would change their views if they tried to pick out from past centuries and generations any customs or laws which could benefit the age In which we live. People in prison sleep In security at all events. Wees gamblers go 'into bankruptcy only those they gambled with suffer. Life is full of opportunities, but a great many people stand upon etiquette and decline to grasp them without an introduction. The larger we grow the smaller the world seems. If our workmen degenerate our products will follow suit "We are as quick to revile a leader who loses as we are to praise one who wins. The lion of to-day may be the mouse of to-morrow. The good lawyer only depends on argument when he lacks proofs. It we spent tbe time wasted in argument to search for proofs con troversies would be less frequent A great many Frenchmen lire duel lives. Chicago's Lake Front scheme is well wa tered. Cod liver oil will take a tumble If Prof. wonders claimed for it. LABOnIeaders should pay jnst as much at tention to Improving the work of tbe workers as to improving their condition; Skill should not be sacrificed for self. There is jtlst enough superstition in religion to make it fascinating. Willie Winkle. THE WALL STBEET SITUATION. New Yoke Sun.- It is not likely that the disaster we are witnessing will spread beyond the arena of the Stock Exchange. Philadelphia JTo'th American: The world of legitimate business, by which we only mean the world that adds to the available wealth of the world by some victory over crude nature, need not lose any sleep while the bulls and bears rend each other. NEwY0KK-Ve. With all onr home con ditions farorable there should be no difficulty in checking any panicky feeling that may have manifested itself during the past three days, in" restoring confidence and in gradually bringing the market back to a solid basis. Wall street Daily Investor: The use of certificates instead of currency worked admir ably and restored confidence in 1873, and it will do so now. It practically puts an end to the danger of a continuance of tho trouble that caused yesterday's three failures on the Stock Exchange. New York Evening JPost: It is idle to at tempt to forecast tne present financial disturb ance abroad, but it is easy to see that our own present trouble has come from the otber side, whero tight money has led to the throwing over of American securities in an almost un precedented manner. New York Herald: In issuing theso ce r tiflcates the associated banks as a whole simply lend money to individual banks at 6 per cent on the deposit of ample collateral. They do not pretend to assist an inherently unsound con cern, hut to help those that are sound but can not for the moment raise tbe actual cash they need. New York Herald: This monetary strin gency is due to two causes first the exigencies of London, brought about by over-speculation in almost every part cf tho world in general, but in the Argentine Republic in particular; secondly, to the almost unprecedented activity of trade In ibis country, which has drawn funds away from the Eastern centers. Philadelphia PreM.- By acting together the New York: banks prevent the fall of any one of their number. Tbey secure the same swift expansion of credits which is gained under like stress and strain In London by the suspension of Peel's banking act. They render it certain that no solvent firm or bank will be forced, to bankruptcy by a sudden and unex pected inability to realize on its assets. Wall Street Daily News: We know of no better advice to give our readers in the present grave emergency than to "tike it easy." If yo.uhave some stocks concerning which you have grave doubts of its value, sell it out and get as much money back as possible. If after careful examination ot a property, you are convinced the stock or bonds are worth more than the market price, buy what you can pay for and put the securities away. New York Commccial Advertiser: Again and again, it has been pointed out bv conserva tive observers, both in London aud America, that English speculation was approaching the danger line. Tho speculation craze, which con fines itself to no one class, was more widespread than any movement of the kind which has been witnessed in the last decade. There seemed to be no limit to the capacity of the English peo ple for absorbing the shares ot new corpora tions. New York Journal of Commerce: The deal imrs of a day and morrow between the "shorts" and "longs" is play to the world outside; the hawkings of credits and the liquidations of the Street is a pigmy drama. In which values ap pear to flash and flare and flicker, but they are not values and are merely pictured. The real values aro existing things. They are ever present Tbey are Imbedded in the earth. They stand confronting the vision of millions. They cannot be mored. Their end can only coincide with that of tbe humanity from whoso conception tbey received their birth. AMID FALLING LEAVES. The Remains of Gen. Crook Transferred to Arlington Cemetery. Washington, November 1Z The remains of the late Major General George Crook were brought to this city this morning from Oak land, Md., and were interred with military honors in the N ational Cemetery at Arlington in the presence of a few long-time friends of the dead General. When the grave, which bad been one near tbe last resting place of General Belknap, was reached the funeral party alighted and gathered around the grave to wit ness tbe last sad ceremony. A cloud of mist obscured tho surrounding country, and tho silence was only broken by the rattlo of falling leaves as the body was lowered into the grave. There was no audible prayer delivered, and the thoughts of none of the little party were given utterance. Tbe soldiers fired three times and the company trumpeter blew "Taps." and as earth was shoveled into the grave the party moved away. WEDDING IN HIGH LIFE. A Brilliant Event In Baltimore That At tracted Many Society People. rSPECIAL telegram to the pispatch.i Baltimore, November 12. New York, Washington, Boston and Philadelphia society people were well represented here this evening at the De Ford-Williams wedding, which event was by far tbe most brilliant that has taken place In Baltimore In years. Miss Belle De Ford, tbe bride, is the daughter of a merchant prince of this city, and the groom, William Sterritt Gittings Williams, is the son of the late Georgo H. Williams, and a millionaire in his own right. J. 6. B. Hodges, rector of St Paul's, officiated. There were sir bridemaids and two maids of honor; a best man, cizht ushers and two juvenile attendants. Tbe bride wore a Worth gown of white faille silk, with point lace. Her only ornaments were fine diamonds. She carried a bouquet of lilies of tbo valley and violets. Cuban Crops Drought-Bitten. Havana, November 12. Owing to drought the present crops In the districts of Holguln, Gibara and Mayari are generally reduced one half, as Compared with those of previous years, J FLAYS 10 COME. Frederick Warde and Mrs. D. P. Bowers will play a notable engagement at the Grand Opera House next week. The performance on the opening night will be Shakespeare's "Henry VI1L," a play that Is very rarely seen nowadays. Mr. Warde will play the part ot Cardinal Wolsey and Mrs. Bowers Queen Katharine. The supporting company is said to be the best Mr. Wardo has yet controlled. A feature is also made of the mounting and dressing of tbe various plays. The repertoire for the engage ment is Monday, Wednesday and Friday nights also Saturday matinee, "Henry VHL;" Tues day and Saturday nights, "Macbeth;" Wednes day matinee, "Virginius," and Thursday night "Othello." Seats are now on sale for any per formance. DeWolt Hopper who, in addition to a splendid oomic opera organization bearing his own name, appears at the Bijou Theater next week, la a comedian ot logitimate note and is likewise the possessor of a splendid voice. In "Castles in the Air" he Is afforded every opportunity to display his vocal as well as mirtb-provoking powers. Mr. Hopper, not un UK3 that Falslaff he imitates in the piece. Is not only humorous In himself, but is also the cause ot the humor in others, and it is said unites with his company in liveliness of mirth, music and mimicry that are at once infectious with the audience, profitable to the manage ment and remarkable in the methods of comic opera. The advance sale of seats opens to-day. Regular opera prices will prevail. DEATHS OP A DAT. C. F. Ricks. rsrECiAL telegram TO,TH AsPATCn.1 Canton, November 12. C. F. Hicks, a promi nent citizen ot Massillon, and father of United States Circuit Judge A. J. Kicks, died at the home of h.s daughter. Mrs. Dr. biuiscr. in this city, this morning. Deceased was 81 years of age. Dnchess of Malakoff. LOKPON. November 13. The widow of tbe Duke of Malakoff, who took a prominent part in tne Crimean war, Is dead. - Bishop ot Rio Janeiro. Bio Janeiro. .November 12. Tho Bishop of Elo Janeiro If dead. Koch's lymph works THE TOPICAL TALKER, A Brazen Joke. Qne of the children won a ring in a prize package of candy, and it made her exces sively proud. She changed the ring from finger to finger and In such artless ways as a child of 6 or 7 can compass called attention to the bauble whenever she got a chance. "What's all that noise about!" asked pater familias as the wearer of tbe ring -was reciting for the hundredth time tbe story of her great good fortune. "Oh! it's only Julia and her brass band!" re plied an elder sister. An Excusable Error. 'The boy bad been to the theater a good deal last winter and tbe fearfully and wonder fully made curtain at the Grand Opera House had made a deep impression upon bim. Last month be went to viit bis grandmother in a small town up in tbe mountains. The first Sunday he was there his grand mother took him to church. The wall back of the platform and reading desk was painted a bright and beautiful blue, in the midst. of whlcb was a Bible blazoned in gold. The small Pittsburger was greatly taken with these gay colors, and after contemplating them in silenco for several minutes, ho turned tu his grand mother and said: "Grandma, there'll be lots of fnn when that curtain goes up, won't there !" It "Was News. About lour o'clock In the morning last Fri day the telephone bell jangled out at tho house of a leading Republican politician. Tbe latter, It happened, heard the noise'and went to tbe instrument. He put the receiver to bis ear and a voice rame to bim over the wire with this message: "Andrews is licked." "Know that two days ago," replied the poli tician." "Yes, I knew you knew it bnt I know you didn't know I knew it see! Now I know ill" Baseball Is a Jewel. TJ ats and balls can io a good deal npon the baseball field," said an ex-crank yesterday, "but bankbooks and boodle can do more." "Yes," said a local capitalist, "the diamond has to be sot in gold to be seen to the best ad vantage." t Two New Actors. "The telegraph has already told the readers of The DisPATcn that Mrs. Leslie Carter made a remarkably good impression at her debnt on Monday at tbe Broadway Theater. The New York papers devote a great deal of space to "The Ugly Duckling" and Mrs. Carter, and it must be accepted as certain for once that an actress of real ability has graduated from the divorce court One of tho best of the New York critics says that Mrs. Carter is not a beauty, but her face grows upon one. Her facial expression in the opening scenes was painfully overdone, but in the great situation of tbe third act she showed that her dramatic power was better than her adaptability to comedy. In this scene, when, by her coquetry, she finally overcomes the wicked machinations of the Count, only to place herself in a false light, Mrs. Carter acted with remarkable power. Another newcomer who has stepped instant ly into popular favor is E. S. Willard, the lat est arrival from England. Concerning his abil ity the critics are onco more unanimons in praise. "The Middleman," In which Mr. Wil lard appears, is also well spoken of. The Daqnesnc's Opening. T AST night Mr. Wemyss Henderson said: "I am now ready to say positively that tbe Duquesne Theater will be opened by tbe Emma Jnch Opera Company on Monday, December L We shall be ready by that date and no further postponements will take place. The plastering Is nearly completed; tbe decorators are already at work upon tbe ceiling; the electric light wires are all In, the dynamos and boilers are in position, and the natural gas connections will be made as soon as the Philadelphia Company is ready. It will be hard work, but the new Duquesne Theater will positively be open to the public on December 1." -WILD ANIMALS AT LABGE. Deer, Bears and Catamounts Infesting the Blue Mountains. rFPECIAL TELEGRAM TO THE D1SPATCII.1 Lebanon, November 12. That there are deer, bears and catamounts infesting the Blue Mountains is shown by tbe reports of farmers living in remote corners of the bills. Deer are frequently seen, and in somo places, when hard pressed by dogs or perhaps by hunger, they venture into the yards of farmers. While Henry Mease, aged 21, of Cold Sprine township, was out after rabbits with a com panion, tbey saw a large animal in their path. The man wounded her at the first fire, and in a moment the dogs were engaged in a fierce fight with one of the largest catamounts seen lately. The fur of the animal was of silken softness, and this morning the skull and tips of tbo ears were taken to tbe County Commissioner, who paid 82, this being the reward offered for all catamounts killed in Lebanon county. A KrXITAEY MABBIAGE. Tho Daughter of Senator Blackburn "Weds an Army Officer. Washington, November 12, Miss Terese Blackburn-Stewart, daughter of Senator Black burn, of Kentucky, and Captain William Preble Hall, of the army, were married In St John's Episcopal Church, at 2 o'clock this afternoon, by the Rev. Dr. Douglas. Tho church was elaborately decorated with flowers, and many people of note in society were present The groom's best man was Colonel Carpenter, and he. together with tbe ushers, were In full armr uniform. The bride was giren away by her father. Senator Black burn. She was handsomely attired and carried a bouquet of roses aud ferns sent by Mrs. Harrison. The newly-wedded couple will spend their honeymoon in Georgia and Florida and tben go to Fort Reno, L T where tbe groom is stationed. Woodmen Amend Their Laws. Springfield, November 12, The Modern Woodmen of America devoted tho entire day to a revision of tbe general laws of tbe order, tbe body acting as a committee of tbe whole. Amendments to the original laws, which re pose in an executive committee, nearly all the power and responsibility, which have been ex ercised by the Head Consul, have been ac cepted. B0NNTS 8T0EY. Brooklyn Citizen: The fact that Bonny Is not an intense admirer of Stanley adds force to the remarkable statement be makes. Philadelphia Bulletin: Bonny, who was with it to the end, corroborates all Stanley's charges, with soma changes In details, and says Barttelot was undoubtedly insane. New York Sun: Bonny has drawn a very black picture. It is no wonder that Stanley kept it from the public gaze until tbe rash at tacks of Barttelot's family forced him to tho exposure of the ghastly history. NEW York Star: Perhaps the affair will not be so wholly deplorable If it shall be accepted as a lesson to future explorers that those who would be masters of nature and of their In feriors must first be masters of themselves. New York Star: It is hard to see how Bou nd's testimony can be broken down. He is now tbe only living white officer of the ill-fared rear column who knows from his own personal experience tbe history of those terrible months atYambnya. New York Tribune: Mr. Stanley's accusa tions against Jameson and Barttelot aro cor roborated In detail by the only surviving offlcer whom he found at Yambuya upon his return from Lake Albert Bonny is his chief witness, and offers testimony which, unless im peached, will be decisive. Philadelphia Inquirer: Bonny, who was the eye-witness of these disgusting details, tells a story that corroborates that of Stanley, which is backed up by documents and tbe unanimous testimony of the natives. The only charitable conclusion is that the Major was insane. Otherwise he was inhuman, Brooklyn Standard Union: In a word, the vindication of Mr. Stanley comes most oppor tunely, and is conclusive and crushes his ene mies. He stands lortn neroic; xor where ne has been accused of falsehood and malice he has shown the precious quality of generosity and the lofty manliness of a noble forbearance. Philadelphia Press: Mr. Henry M. Stan ley is thoroughly corroborated and sustained by Mr. Bonny in the terrible- charges brought acainst Major Barttelot and Mr. Jameson. We doubt if anyone can read tbe narration of Major Barttelot's conduct without reaching the charitable conclusion tnat the m-lated out' cer was insane. GOING TO BE" MARRIED. Robert A. McKean to Join the Army of Benedicts Day get for the Marriage of Miss Margaret Boyle and Harry Brown Society Gossip. Gay, bright and witty was Rob McKean last evening, though wben interrogated closely he had to admit that it was his last evening of single blessedness, and that to-night at S o'clock he wonld take unto himself a wife. Tbe young lady who will in tbe future have a special claim upon Mr. McKean, his bright wit and brilliant repartee, is Miss Margaret-May Cox, the lovely daughter of Captain A. C. Cox, tbe genial and well-known steamboat man, of Wylle arenue. xne weuaing win oe ratner exclusive home affair and guests will be limited to rela tives of tbe families interested, with tne ex ception probably of a very few friends who are "inst tbe same as one of tbe family, vou know." All alone will thp young couple enter the parlor and with the effective service of Rer. Mr. Pat terson, of the Sixth Presbyterian Church, as sume tbe matrimonial rows. Miss Cox Is declared by one who is thor oughly posted on the character and attractions of the young lady to be minus imperfections: in fact to anota directly, "she is the sweetest girl in tbe city," and universally she is credited witn an tne graces ot manner and person tnat go to make np a very Iorable girl. The groom-to-be is the brother of Postmaster McKean, in scribed in the family Bible as Robert Andrews McKean, but better known as "Rob" by his associates and friends, who unite in pronounc ing him ono of the best civil emnneers of Pitts burg and one of tbe "best fellows." He is a gradnate of tbe Western University and as sociated with the firm of Riter & Conley. a unci jtunt in the .ast ana Air. ana Airs. McKean will be at home at 407 Wylle avenue. THE DAY ANNOUNCED For the Marriage of Miss Margaret Boyle and Mr. Harry Brown. Tbe wedding day is at last announced of Miss Margaret Boyle, tbe noted beauty of Ellsworth avenue, and Mr. Harry Brown, the wealthy coal merchant. November 23 is tbe dato de cided upon for this interesting and important event and it is to be celebrated at tbe home of the bride's parents with all tho nicety and per fection of detail that wealth and cultivated taste can suggest Thnyounglady, who has at last consented to give up her name and freedom, is one of pro nounced and remarkable beauty, and tbe pos sessor of a qneenly carriage and bearing. Hut combined with her queenliness is such a fasci nation and charm that her subjects are legion and delight to do her honor and show her rev erence. At the wedding of her sister. MNs Laura Adelaide Boyle, to Mr. Edward H. Braincrd,which took place some few weeks ago. Miss Boyle shared quite equally the admira tion and attention suowered upon tbe beauti ful bride, and some few of tbe knowing guests made suggestire remarks regarding a second nuptial ceremony tbat would soon shed a bril liancy over tbe magnificent residence, but few. if any, thought the event would follow so closely the one to which they were then lending their presence. Mr. Brown holds an exalted position In tbe financial and social circles of the city, and Is worthy in every way the charming bride he is securing. After the marriage they will occupy the elegant new homo on Forbes street that is at present ncaring completion. A FUNNY MAN'S TALK. Bob Burdette Combines Politics and Humor in His Inimitable Manner Bob Burdette was there last evening at the Third U. P. Church and created any amount of amusement bemoaning tbe fact that at a previous lecture reported as given by him In tbat church be alone of all others did not re ceive an invitation to be present. Mr. Burnett was introduced by Mr. Percy Smith, who said the lectnrer would speak upon "The Pilgrimages of a Fanny Man," and not the funny pilgrimage of the many men wno assembled recently to hear a lecture that didn't materialize. A large audience of Intelligent, refined people greeted Mr. Burdette, and tbe peals of langhter tbat followed bis remarks were so contagious that be himself joined in them. His lecture, though delivered in the city before, was not at all stale, freshened np, as it wa. by jokes regarding the recent elec tion, McKinley bill, and even tbe impromptu squeaking of a window that enabled him to make a point whereby he brought down the house, so to speak. According to Mr. Bnrdette the life of a funny man whether professional or non-professional is not a life of unadulturated pleasure, as humor is tbo reflex action of severe mental strain and tronble. Instances were cited to Erove the theory advanced, and the livrs of ood. Lamb and Warner were briefly reviewed in conclusion. Mr. Burdotte was in excellent trim, but said confidentially that he hadn't a politic left, as it were, that he had not recov ered sufficiently from his stunnedness to realize there was such a thing in existence. AN EDITOE "WEDDED. Theodore Nevin Married at Lancaster to Miss Mary E. Appel. "With a proper amount of elegance and a per fection of appointment suitable to the high social standing of tho bride and groom was the wedding effected yesterday at Lancaster of M iss Mary Elizabeth Appel. of that place, and Mr. Theodore Nevin, of this city. The cere mony was performed at high noon in tbe col lege chapel, and was witnessed by a fashion able aggregation, including a number of prominent society people from Pittsburg and vicinity. The happy bride is a young lady of consider able beauty and marked ability, endowed with pleasing, winning manners and a bright happy disposition, well calculated in every way to grace tho home of tbe talented, popular yonng gentleman she now calls husband. Mr. Nevin, as editor of tbe Pittsburg Leader, is thoroughly known to tbe Pittsburg public, and as a member of one ot the oldest and best es tablished families in the connty bis nuptials are of more than ordinary interest. At the termination of tbe wedding trip the yonng couple will reside at Sewickley. BEAUTY AND THE NEWSY. A Brilliant Bazaar to be Held at the First Presbyterian Church. If the receipts for the bazaar and sale of fancy work at tbe First Presbyterian Church chapel this afternoon and evening equal the amount of enthusiasm and effort that the lady managers hare expended in order to maks the affair a grand and brilliant success, the Newsboys' Home will be erected forthwith. The cbapel will be a bewildering vision of firetty booths, prettier toilets and prettiest idles, to say nothing of tbe display of needle work and fancy articles tbat promises to rival even the Baltimore exhibit of these articles tbat was held in tbe city recently. The event will be the important and fashionable one of the day. A PRIVATE SEMI-CENTENNIAL. Mrs. Arm Stratton Receives Many Callers at Her East End Mansion. Mrs. Ann Stratton has ocenpied the old Stratton homestead, corner of Fifth avenue and Try street East End. for half a century. The 60 years were completed on Tuesday, and to celebrate the occasion ber children and tbelr families held a reception in honor of the rener able old lady and her comfortable castle. The homestead was open to callers all afternoon and a bounteous feast was served to all guests. Some of the oldest residents of the East Liberty Valley paid their respects to Mrs. Stratton. Mr. and Mr.. James Stratton, of Washington City, were also present i The Woman's Guild at Home. The synonym for all tbat is enjoyable is an entertainment by the Woman's Guild of St. Stephen's Chnrcb, Sewickley. And their "at home" this erening at the residence of D. C Herbst from 7 to 10 o'clock will be no exception to the rule. A feast of music and dainties will delight all who are fortunate enough to come within the charmed circle by reason of baring received the pretty invitation cards. A Hospital Benefit The benefit concert for the Southsida Hospi tal at Odd Fellows' Hall this evening embraces one of the most pleasure-suggestlre pro grammes. Gernert's Orchestra, Miss Mamie Reuck. Miss Jennie Evans, Miss Mary Bank ard, Mrs. William B. Wolfe, Mr. John A. Strouss and Mr. Duff are the eminent artists tbat will appear. Royal Arcannm Banquet The local officers of tho Royal Arcanum gave a banquet last evening at the Duquesne in honor of the fraternity's visiting delegates to tbe Fraternal Consress. The tables were hand somely decorated, and about H gentlemen were present. Local Chatter. An entertainment will be given thfs erening In Academy Hall, Wilklnsbure, under tbe auspices of St Stephen's Episcopal Church of tbat place. The programme consists of mu sical, historical and dramatic features, with selections by the East End Mandolin Trouba dours. In Patterson's Hall this evening the ladles of St John's P. E. Church will give a fancy ba zaar and supper. The Keystone Club will hold its fourth even ing reception at Sample Hall this erening. CURI0DS CONDENSATIONS. The province of Kuei-chon js the Chinese Switzerland. It is stated that over $1,000,000 are spent annnaliy in New York in public ban quets. An English company has made a pro posal to tbe Legislature of the Island of Nassau to lay a cable to the coast of Florida if an an nual subsidy is cranted them. A Connecticut boy is famous just now, because he has a tin whistle IK inches in diam eter several Inches long in bis stomach. He swallowed tbe toy while playing on it There are more than 200,000 persons in Italy who inhabit dark cellars, and 4,965 com munities which are so poor that meat is never seen on the table, and bread only on Sundays. A ball was drawn 4,096 times out of an urn containing an equal number of white and black balls, with the result that ZvGB drawings Kv?2J?hlte' and "M a black ball, so that out of 1,000 balls there were SOI white and 49S black. It is an did remedy for the hiccough to hold one's breath, and if that falls then to gargle with a little water, and If tho hiccough still continues tu tickle the nose to the point of sneezing once or twice, when the hiccou"h Is sure to go. In a discussion lately carried on in Eu rope as to the distance at which large objects on the earth's surface are risible, it was stated tbat tbo Himalaya Mountains have appeared to view from the great distance ot 221 miles, and Mont Blanc 210 miles. An exploring party sent by the Govern ment of Quebec to tbe head waters of the Ot tawa and the Gatiman rivers reports that there are magnificent forests of pine timber in tbat region not under lease, which ongbt to prove to be valuable sources of revenue to the province. It seems to be hardly so well known as it deserves that tbe sole Is a rery chameleon among fishes. Like tbe leopard, he cannot change his spots, though bo can vary their shade: but, unlike the Ethiopian, he can change his complexion, and that to a marvelous extent Not a few of the phrases in use at this day originated with Lyly, and are found in bis "Enphens," a popular book published In 1350. Among them might be mentioned "caught nap ping." "a crooked stick or none," "brown study," "catching birds by putting salt on their tails," etc Xhirty-fonr years ago the first experi ment with telescopes at a high altitude was made at Tenerlffe by Fiazzl Smyth far up on tbe lava-covered side of Teyde, and tbe account of his residence and successful observations above the clouds forms a part of every astronom ical library. It is reported that a colony of about 25 Northern farmers have purchased 3,000 acres of land in Cnllanan county. Ala., and will begin co-operative farming. There is to be a joint .stock company with a capital of $200,000. limited to 200 shares, and no person can hare more than one share. The meteorological observatory at the Massachusetts Agricultural College has re ceived a delicate and expensive apparatus for the measurement of the electric potentiality of the atmosphere. This instrument is tbe only one of its kind in the United States, and one of the few in the world. The percentage of Danish widowers to bachelors marrying in the years 1S78-83 was 6.8 per cent as azainst 8; and while out of 100 bachelors of 23 who reached 45, 12 remained unmarried, oat of 100 widowers of tbe same age. there was only 1. A similar tendency shows itself among widows. In Paris it is not customary for patients to wait in the ante-chamber of great physi cians, but Inquiry has to bo made by letter. In some cases numbered tickets are given out at 6 in the morning. The physicians servants do a thriving business selling sandwiches, eta, to the waiting patients. Birds stand between beasts and reptiles, but are widely distinct from both. All beasts possess, as we possess,! warm blood, but the blood of a bird is warmer still, and thus birds differ greatly from reptiles. In spito of their possessing certain structural characters in common with tbat .cold-blooded clas3. The introduction of the custom of bless ing water before the principal mass on Sunday, and sprinkling the people with it. is commonly attributed to Pope St. Leo IV. (8I7-i55): but there are learned 'writers who traco it to a far more remote antiquity, and regard the words of that Pontiff as referring to an existing cus tom. A strange story is told of a marooned Dutchman. The crew that put him on shore at the same time buried an officer. As soon as they bad gone, the man Iluz np the coffin, tumbled the corpse out, launched the coffin as a boat, and using the lid as a paddle, overtook tbe ship, which was becalmed. He was par doned. So careful is the packing process in birds that the parts which grind tbe food and act as teeth are placed, not in the jaws, but in the center of the body In the gizzard. These parts consist of small stones, which most birds swallow for this purpose all those, tbat Is, which feed on grain and other substances-that require grinding. The two sides of the human face are not exactly alike, and a German biologist asserts tbat the lack of symmetry, as a rule, is confined to the upper part of tbe face; In two cases out of five tbe eyes are ont of line, and seven persons out of every ten hare stronger sight in one eye than the otber. Another singular fact is that the right ear is almost universally shorter than the left The term "blue-stocking" was originally used in Venice about tbe year 1400, to desig nate literary classes by colors. In Mill's "His tory of Chivalry" we are told that members of tbe various academies wero distlngnished by tbe color of their stockings, blue being the pre vailing color. The application of the term to women originated with Miss Hannah More's admirable description of a "Blue Stocking Club" In her "BasBleu." "Work has been begun on the most for midable piece of excavation on tbe Nicaragua Canal. It is a solid rock cut about 13 miles from the Atlantic end of the canal. A great deal of dredginc has already been done In the low land from the shore inward. The climate issgreeablp. tbo health of tbe surveying and working parties good and tho progress made thus far equals expectations. The engineers confidently predict tbat the work can be com pleted in four years. A CORNER ON TVIT. Paper-makers are using the banana plant for paper-making. They will slip up on this some day. -Vw Orleans Picayune. "They are equals in birth, are they pot?" "Yes. Mrs. Van Horden Is descended from the Dutch, and Mrs. Mclntyre has ascended from the lxlia."-W. 'It was a terrible blow to the family." was what tbe man ont West remarked to a friend altera cyclonr had visited bis premises and car ried away bis house. Xonkert statesman. The phrase, "I acknowledge the corn," originated with a slave In the South. He was charged with stealing corn found In bis posses sion. Having a sack with him, he was also charged with stealing tbat His reply was. "No, sir: I 'knowledge de corn, but I ain't gwlne to 'knowl edge to de sack." D' trait Free Press. Dimick P. T. Barnum says the press, tbe pulpit and tbe circus are the great clrlllzers. Kickshaw I don't believe Barnum ever said that. Dlmmlck-Why? Kickshaw He woula bare put tbe circus flnt. Brooklyn Life. Baby's recognition. "Oh," says mamma to her hesband, "such good news! Baby talks. He has Just said his nrst words." "Beatly?" "Yes: Just fancy. We were at the monkey cage In the park, wben the baby cried out 'Ah, papa!' " Chatter. Mamma (from the next room, hearing a suspiciously sibilant noise followed by a scream) What was that Agnes? Mr. Blssy (who lisps, but Is equal to the occa. sion)-Tbat wain amouth; it startled Mith Agnts. Mamma (who has been young herself) Ye: I thought It wasl Don't do It again, please.-i('. "It was a brare act, young man," said the grateful father, with deep reeling. "At tbe peril of your life you rushed Into the burning building and saved my daughter. How can I ever repay you?" Would a couple of pounds be too mncb?" sug gested thebrave rescuer. ipare Moments. Daisy Luggs "Why, bless me. Amy, what new fad Is this? Your sleeves are rolled up, and you're covered with flour! Amy Hamoneg Oddest fad In the world, my dear: I've taken a notion to help my mother la the kitchen Judge. Briggs Hare yon heard the latest? Rob inson has eloped with a chambermaid. Griggs Heavens 1 What made bim do that? TBrlgs I understand she brought him an extra towel when he asked for It. Brooklyn Life. Singleton It's a wonder to me that more women are not robbed, when they carry tbelr purses so openly In their hands. Doubleday If you were married and knew what they carry In- those purses, yon would not make such a remark. Puck, ,jgAjjLfjy