THE PITTSBURG DISPATCH, WEDNESDAY. NOVEMBER 12, 1890. ' WIB$pfrlj. ESTABLISHED FEBRUARY 8, 1818. Vol. 45, o. 178. Entered at Pitt sbnrg rostoffice, JJovembcr 14. 1SS7, as second-class matter. Business Office Corner mithfleld and Diamond Streets. Ne-ws Booms and Publishing House 75, 77 and 79 Diamond Street. Eastern advertising office, roomij, TRIBUNE BUILDING. NEW VOR1C where complete flies or THE DISPATCH can always be found. Foreign advertisers appreciate tbe con venience. Home advertisers and friends of THE DISPATCH, -while In New York, are also made -welcome. THE DISPATCH is regulaily on sale at -Brcntano', 5 Union Square. JVew York, aid IT Arc. dc V Opera, Paris, France, where anyone who has been disappointed at a hotel news stand can obtatn it. TERMS Or THE DISPATCH, POSTAGE FREE IX THE UNITED STATES. .Daily Dispatch. Onclcar 8 00 Daily DirATCU, I'crQuarter ICO Daily-Dispatch, One Month.... "0 Daily Dispatch, including Sunday, 1 year. 10 00 Daily Dispatch. including Sundav.snTths 150 Daily Dispatch. including snndav, lm'th 90 fcuxriAY Dispatch One Year 2 50 Weekly' Dispatch. One lear 1 55 The Daily Dispatch is delivered by carriers at 15 cents per week, or including Sunday edition, at 10 cents per week. PITTSBURG, WEDNESDAY. NOV. 12, 1S90. MERELY A STOCK rLURRY. That the agitation in the stock markets Iirecipitated so violently by the selling movement of Monday has not yet wholly subsided is not to be wondered at But there is confidence everywhere that the effects of the flurry will be confined to purely speculative circles. The industries of the country and the general mercantile business are in nowise involved. The truth is that one of the reasons of the "Wall street slump is because the bulk of the snare money of the public has tor a long while been signally employed in the lines of commercial and manufacturing enterprises. Every one with .'unds to spare, and good judgment to back them, has been able to find opportunities for safe and profitable in vestment without going into partnership with the Goulds, the Villards, the Vander bilts or the Trust magnates in the manage ment and manipulation of the big schemes which are floated in the speculative waters cf the East. It is, doubtless, in no small measure be cause of the absence of the outside public as buyers of the various shares listed at New York that the slump has now come. But this only furnishes renewed assurance that the effects of the flurry will not be wide spread, protracted or serious, except within the limited circle of stock operations. l'OOB TAItJIS PAST AND FUTURE. The l'oor Farm question is finally settled by the ruling of the Supreme Court affirming the decision of the lower court The city can therefore accept the Jarge sum coming to it from the sale of the old .arm, but will have to look over the county for a new tract of land on which to locate ns buildings. The general verdict will be that this is the most satisfactory settlement ol the question. However individual opinions may differ,the average judgment will be that the price of the old property is a very good one as Chief Elliot puts it, 432,000 for a tract which cost but 510,000 to the city. On the other hand, beyond the doubtful question whether the price to be paid for the new property was not a decidedly large one, the location of such an establishment outside of the county was a feature of the most questionable character. There is very little doubt that plenty of agricultural land can he found within the county which will serve the purposes of a Poor Farm just as well, and can be bought for considerably less money. In addition to that point the entire sub ject is still open whether there is any need for the Department of Charities to go into farming business on a scale that requires several hundred acres of land. Enough land to provide plenty of room for the build ings is undoubtedly necessary, and gardens with a few field will nnt be amiss. But "when a large farm requiring an investment of three to five hundred dollars per acre is operated by pauper labor, it remains a matter to be demonstrated by the figures whether all the supplies raised on that plan will not cost the city more than they would if bought on Liberty street It is worth discussion whether fifty or a hundred acres of land will not furnish all that is necessary to accommodate creditable buildings, with the hospital for insane paupers completely separated and Tinder distinct management from the alms liouse. That would leave a large fund to be used in the erection of the best class of buildings. A NEW SPECULATION. One of the exhibitions of the tendencies of the day toward turning business operations into methods of speculation is furnished by the report that a cumber of brokers in New York have under consideration a scheme for establishing an exchange to facilitate spec ulation in raw sugars. The set is the same which has for a. few years maintained an ex change fur gambling on the price of coffee, where twoor three corners in thatcommodity have been so successful in bedeviling the le gitimate trade and disgusting the public that there is no louger much to be done in that line. Tie circumstances ef the sugar trade re veal the fact that the proposed institution would be a place for pure business gam bling. If there were one or two hundred purchasers of raw sugar, an exchange where they could meet importers and buy their supplies would serve a legitimate purpose. This is the proper function of itock, cotton and grain exchanges, however those institu-" tions may be perverted by speculation on a liferent basis, and was until the petroleum .-lining business was monopolized, the ren in for the existence ot the Petroleum Ex liauges. But the fact that at the most there will not be more than half a dozen purchasers of raw sugar for actual use shows that not only whoever operates on the pro posed exchange will do so for the exclusive purpose of betting on the fluctuations of the market but that the unwary outsider will be extremely liable to be fleeced by the ma nipulations of the one or two great powers in that trade. This feature brings out another point of importance. It is not likely that such a proposition arises from any demand from the public for any increase of speculative facili ties, but from the desire of certain parties to create a new sort of speculation in order that ihey may share the profits of manipulating it The average man is very well aware that if he wants to chance his money he has ubuudaut opportunities to do so by opera tions either in trust stocks, grain or railway shares. The public understanding of these speculative institutions is becoming so gen eral that the recent project of establishing a speculative business in pig iron warrants, from which Pittsburg wisely kept clear, has hardly been heard from since it went into operation. The motive of schemes to get np new methods of fleecing lambs is based on the idea that while the public is capable of learning by experience that it is bled by the manipulations of a given staple, it is not able to perceive that the same methods trans ferred to another staple will produce the same result This belief may be justified by the facility with which the public after it found railway stocks unprofitable, turned to grain and petroleum speculation, and alter making the same discovery there bit eagerly at the bait ot trust certificates. But it is not likely that the new speculative market will reach a great success before its character is fully un derstood. THE DISPUTING EXPLORERS. The outcome of the disputation between Stanley and his dissatisfied lieutenants has been such as to fully confirm The Dis patch's opinion, expressed a week ago, that the dispute is one which a discreet course would have avoided, and which has been carried to lengths that both sides mutt regret As to the main point at issue, namely, the responsibility for the lailnre of the rear column to carry out Stanley's orders, the most remarkable corroboration of Stanley's position is the alleged answer of Troup published yesterday. Troup is one of the assailants ot the explorer. Yet, considering that the entire explosion is produced by the assertions of Major Barttelot's brother 'that Stanley did that officer injustice, and that the important issue is whether his course wrecked the expedition, it is de cisive to find Troup fully confirming Stanley's assertions. He agrees that Bartte lot was cruel, and that a better leader "could have brought the expedition back to the coast," which indicates that Mr. Troup's tendency is to prefer the retrograde rather than advance. But he indicts Stanley for the responsibility of selecting Barttelot as the commander of the rear column, and thus puts the onus of the whole failure upon him! That Stanley had the responsibility which attaches to any leader who assigns a subor dinate to duty and afterward discovers that he is unfit for it, did not require the asser tion of Troup to establish it. It appeared very plainly from Stanley's first statement But, in view of the fact, that Stanley's material assertions are fully borne out by Troup's concessions, it is clear enough that the expressions which the explorer published in his book concerning that chapter of in competence were very mild and forbearing. The people who have challenged those asser tions and rushed to the front with accusa tions ot Stanley in return, will, when they recover their equilibrium, perceive that it would have been much wiser to let that very charitable expression of disappointment and surprise pass without dispute. TVith regard to the assertion against Jameson of provoking cannibalism, it is possible to regard the charge as one which has been brought out by the heat of the dis cussion; but it might have been left alone on account of the doubt as to its truth. Neither a live man nor a dead one should be charged with such a shocking act of barbar ity excepting on the most conclusive testi mony, and the tact that practically the same evidence which Stanley and Bouuy have was already discredited by an official investigation, should have suggested to any man not carried away by unjust attacks the wisdom of leaving the old story undisturbed. No doubt both Stanley and Bonny believe that the evidence is sufficient; but with the fact that the only witness against Jameson on this score has retracted his evidence be fore an official inquiry it will be easier to believe that the half-civilized witness lied than that a civilized and educated man of standing could take the responsibility for an act of.the lowest degree ol barbarism. This is an instance of the length to which such bitter controversy can be carried. It is not material to the main issue the con duct of the expedition on which point Stan ley is the only man who comes out credita bly. MR. rOWDEKLrS ADDRESS. Mr. Powderly's annual address to the Knights of Labor, which we publish to-day, contains a good deal of interesting matter. A clearer explanation ot the New York Cen tral strike would have been desirable, and it is plainly to be seen that Mr. Powderly ad mits that that ill-timed and unfortunate movement was a blunder whieh should not be repeated. If Mr. Powderly's suggestions are regarded by the order the position of the Knights of Labor as to strikes, and upon the economic problems involved in the general terms protection and free trade are likely to be more clear! v defined. CHICAGO'S MUSICAL AMBITION. The arrangements to locate Theodore Thomas and the musical cult which he typifies as a permanent feature of Chicago formed a bit of news that was in danger of being snowed under in company with many other things by the political avalanche. The fact is rescued from the ruins, however, that fifty of Chicago's leading citizens have subscribed $1,000 each as an annual guar antee fund to keep up the steam of Wagne rian renditions in Chicago, and that Mr. Thomas has closed with the offer so promptly as to confirm the idea previously enter tained that the eminent musician is able to recognize a good thins when it confronts him. The arrangement is one whieh justifies Sir Joseph Porter's treatment, and we con gratulate both. Mr. Thomas and Chicago. No doubt that eminent musician's leader ship can be made to contribute to the attractions of the "World's Pair, if due care is taken to avoid certain stumbling blocks. In a spirit of friendliness, therefore, it is wise to warn Mr. Thomas that Chicago subscriptions are not to be too implicitly relied upon. It is hardly a year since Chicago announced to the world that she had an $8,000,000 guarantee fund to the "World's Fair subscribed; and yet the last issue of the Tribune received prior to tbis writing contains an editorial asserting that an expenditure of $6,000,000 in filling up its precious Lake Front and putting up buildings will land Chicago in the throes of financial embarrassment In order that the spirit of Art may not be dragged down by struggling with the indis position of Mammon to give op its dross, it is enough to hint to Mr. Thomas the advisa bility of having the gnarantee fnnd take the form of certified checks. Another point to be insisted upon is that the innovating Chicago spirit shall not be allowed to indicate the direction which musical effort shall take. It is easy to see where the original and enterprising Chicago mind would lead the labors of Mr. Thomas if it were permitted. The practice of de scriptive music having received classical sanction, it is obvious that the Chicago am bition if unrestrained would require Mr. Thomas as soon as he had been able to master Jbic subject to celebrate the stockyards with a "Wagnerian symphony descriptive of pork packing. Mr. Thomas would be re quired to make his allegro reproduce the rumble of the railroad trains, bringing the live animals ot the "West to contribute to the magnitude of Chicago's business; the andante mast describe the growing ot cotton in order that cottonseed oil may inflate the total of Chicago's porcine product A scherzo would be typical of that fabulous celerity with which a hog goes in at one end of a pork packing establishment emitting his last squeals, and comes out in a few minutes at the other end in the shape of hams, bacon and lard; while the grand finale would rep resent the great tragedy of universal slaugh ter of animal life working out gradually into the purposes of food for the sustenance of other life, and the swelling of Chicago bank accounts. These would be new musical ideas, in spired by the unconventionally of the broad and untamed "West; but we must ad vise Mr. Thomas to place a baiter on them early in the day. There is no telling where they may lead to, and if a start should once be made Mr. Thomas might find himself in the end brought down to the difficult task of composing a rondo gavotte on the attrac tions of bulling July wheat, a triumphal march over the victory of the Lake Front or a fugue descriptive of the attractions of the Hennepin Canal. If he should object to the difficulty of these themes there is the still greater danger that his artistic soul would be wounded by the suggestion that, with slight adaptations, almost any of the existing Wagnerian compositions could be made to fit one or the other of these sub jects. The purpose of pointing out these diffi culties and dangers is that the musical career of Mr. Thomas in Chicago may avoid the strained relations with which it was surrounded in Cincinnati. If the Chicago Guarantees are brought up to the standard of realism, and the Chicago exuberance of originality is kept out of the domain of music, there is little doubt that Mr. Thomas' sojourn in that city will be abundantly en riched by harmony. THE BASEBALL SITUATION. The consolidation of the Players' and Na tional League Baseball clubs in this city, which is nearly if not quite accomplished, is the best thing that could happen for every body concerned. It is a melancholy fact that the attitude of the public of late toward baseball has been that of a coroner viewing a corpse. But the inquest may be suspended if baseball revives, and the only way for it to revive is to end the ridiculous yet deadly fight between the leagues. There is nothing sentimental about the game oi baseball as it is played by professionals. The players are out for the money, the capitalists who fur nish the clubs with backing are looking for dividends, and the public pay for the privilege of seeing the game, asking only in return that the players shall be competent As The Dispatch has consistently maintained whenever it has commented upon the strug gle between the leagues, the game of base ball has been lost sight of in the scramble for dollars. If the fight continues the only difference will be that there will be very tew dollars to fight for. By the consolida tion of the two clubs in Pittsburg and other cities baseball may be made profitable, not only to the capitalists but to the players, and to such people as think it is profitable to witness a game of baseball between pro fessionals. A paragraph announces that the canal through Mussel shoals, Tennessee river, has been completed so as to open navigation from Chattanooga to the Ohio. This is a matter of especial interest to Pittsburg, as it will enable pig Iron from the Southern district to be shipped to this city, cheaply if the necessary quality can bo produced there. It is also likely that the opening of a cheap route which lessens the cost of getting the products of that field to the market, will modify the exceed ingly low figures of production that have been reported thence by rendering it possible to pay higher wages. With the London Times and Wm. L. Scott urging that Mr. Cleveland be once more made the Democratic candidate for the Presi dency the ex-President would be justified in putting up an earnest prayer to be rescued from his friends. It is time for some one to hint to Secre tary Noble that be has not taken a course in deciding that New York application for a re count calculated to increase the public respect for the census. While it may be a legal maxi mum for the defendant's counsel, when In a tight place to abuse the plaintiffs attorney, tbero is no good authority in favor of the J udge's doing so. Ax Austrian baroness is reported to have been arrested for theft. Is it possible that Austria is so far behind the times as not to understand the tine distinction between theft and kleptomania? The experience of a telegraph operator at a lonely station up in Northern Pennsylva nia in being attacked by bears and wild cats attracted the editorial attention of the New York Herald on Monday. Bat before Monday was ended. Wall street had to sustain a siege from bears and wild cats that made the tele, graph operator's experience seem like a picnic- Bar silver is down to $1 02 per ounce again. The principal result of that silver bill so far seems to have been recorded in the en larged bank accounts of that Congressional syndicate. The reports that Secretary Blaine takes the Republican defeats in'a good humor, owing to the slaughter of Presldental candidates, in dicates a forgetfolness that tbis is the wrong season to plant a Presldental boom. Two periods of frost intervene between the present time and the date when a Presldental crop must be harvested. i An ordinary observation of the course of financial cycles would have justified the expec tatlon that it was about time for the Villara bubble to undergo Its decennial explosion. Mr. Breckinridge, of Kentucky, takes a sensible view of the Speakership contest for the next House and his own connection there with by saying that it will be ample time to consider that subject a year hence. The effort to cross a bridge a year before you come to it is liable to result in having to do the job over again. . The intimation that the Wisconsin Dem ocrats have a Presldental quantity on hand In the shape ot Bad Boy Peck, is enough to raise a tidal wave in the other direction. Ik speaking ot the "crank parties" the Philadelphia Times refers by an evident slip of the types to Edward Bellamy's cnlt as the ' 'Rationalist party." This is giving that school of opinion alittle that can only be justified on the principle of lucits a non lucendo. Without, prejudice to BIrchall the pub lic will have reason to approve of the act wblch chokes off the present steady flood of Birchall literature. Protestant Episcopal Church Congress. Philadelphia, November 1L Tbe Thir teenth Church Congress of the Protestant Episcopal Church of the United States was in augurated this morning. The inaugural ad dress was delivered by Bishop Whlttaker, who presides over the Congress. SNAP SHOTSJN SEASON. The Sugcr Trust lias simply raised cane in Wall street Do you evei long for peace? Does the noiso and bustle of the world In which you circulate grow deafening and tiresome? Is tbe perpet ual motion irksome? librae time or other have you not hankered aft ox a quiet place beyond tbe tread of busy tost, tbe rattle of heavy wheels, tbe clanging ot the bells, the scrsech Ingof the whistles, tbe clashing or themyrlad tongned ctty? Then you have closed your eyes and drawn a picture of tbe paradise you long for. What was it? A cabin in the dense wood, a home beside the bill-hid lake, a spot washed by a summer sea. a place wbere nature reigns and her voices alone are heard. What a castle you build then. No tramping, no clanging there bird song and sunshine, wind and wave, perfect peace. How you roam amid the silence, timless, restful. Of the earth not earthy, ot the, world yet worldlesg, in life bat lifeless. Wei, such dreams are not hurtful, are they? We have a perfect right to draw the picture and jraze upon it It is rest ful. Perhaps the shadow is better than the substance, too. Amid tbe earth's millions bow few tbe hermits. Life calls 'Tor action, companionship, watchfulness and wakefulness. Tbu dreamers even have to bustle between napl, and tbe sleepers are disturbed by tbe discoid. Rest without tiring toil becomes laborious, no matter what the sar rounding:. After we sweat we sleep; after we work we play; after we Jream wo grasp the real ity. Let your grip be firm, too. Onr ears grow used to tbe noises, our eyes grow accustomed to the glare and glitter, our feet Brow familiar with the paths, our haiids grow friendly to the tools. Tbe peace that would shut oat tbe noises and banish tha toil would soon grow burdensome. It's all very well to dream about, of course. But f ortuna tely we cannot do as we dream. A city must pay its debts, and the taxpayers are the taxmakers. Clergymen,, as well as newspaper men, should fully investigate before indorsing or assailing persons or things. AVhen you are looking for work don't forget to ask for it Time can be measured by the tasks we have to perform. It is fast if we are playing and slow if we are toiling. But tbe end is tbe same distance away under all circumstances. Jay Gould rattled Wall street and got what be wanted. Daring the operation a man was killed, but his murderers will not be pursued. AT last a society actress has made a first night hit in New York. There's more trouble ahead for some husbands. Cleveland keeps on asserting that tbe tariff defeated Republican Congressmen. It uudoubtedly defeated Grover a few years ago. He jumps, ha boxes, casts the stone. He's wiry and gymnastic A monument to flesh and bone Propelled by foot elastic. He eats rare beef, drinks bitter ale, And when in active training He even wants bis bread served stale, From all rich focd refraining. He rubs and scrubs his giant frame. He strivos to increase muscle; He takes a hand in every game. Or rough-and-tumble tussle. He is the pet of college grand. The professors on him beam; All sound his praites through the land. For he leads the football team. When Jay Gould takes a whirl In Wall street he simply handles the brokers like jays. If we must compromise with the women who want to meddle in public affairs how would it do to allow them to porform jury duty? When the State Legislature meets next winter would it not be a wise proceeding to re peal some of tbe old laws beforo framing any new ones? Think this over, gentlemen. It was the silent vote that caused all the noise. With the advent of the concert and lecture season comes the cry for a pnblic hall, roomy and comfortable. Pittsburg needs one badly. Indian summer weather seems to be disap pearing as fast as ths Indians. The Wall street gamblers can smash each other without involving legitimate lookers-on. It's a bad business, for all that There are only a few royal roads to riches remaining in tbe world, and these are monopo lized by tbe reigning families. Will the ghost of the dead broker haunt Jay Gould, or is the little wizard conscience proof? THEStanley-Troup-Bouny-Barttelot-Jameson controversy has cone far enough. Let the dead rest and draw the veil of charity over the records of the rear guard. The country thai has grown rich and great under protection is not going to give it np without a struggle. Every labor-saving device lightens and lengthens life and draws ns closer to tbe mil lennium. Heart diseased, nervous and excitable men should keep out oil Wall street A blind man must get very little satisfac tion out of the present theatrical performances. Deaf men, however, can enjoy them. The pnblic will bardly put their trust in trust stocks again. Woman was not made especially for tha kitchen. She can be dispensed with there, but must not neglect the nursery. It is better for the people to govern the politicians than for tho politicians to govern the people. The question of the hour in labor circles is work. If all the laws on the statute hooks were rigidly enforced the obnoxious and unneces sary ones would be wiped out and tbe good ones more greatly respected than at present A church will not be injured if its shadow mingles with that cast by a distillery. The school will be. Women will not secure the reforms they clamor for until men advocate them. Athletes practice at the bar. A big Treasury surplus is a temptation to statesmen. A Government should bo run on business principles. If tbe banks keep outside the speculative circle and loan to legitimate dealers on good security panics will bo confined to brokers' offices. A reform cannot be talked to death. It must be tested. Every assassination committed in the name of liberty only adds another link to the chalcs the oppressed carry. The hindsight of a great many political lead ers seems to be far superior to their foresight Statesmanship cannot be elevated so long as politics keeps in the slums. A banana peel Is not a respector of persons. 4 When you doubt a friend you might as well dissolve tbe partnership. The World's Fair should not be wholly Chi ago's affair. The whole country is interested and should prod up the commissioners. The higher the society the lower the dresess. At all events Stanley has secured a first-class advertisement fbroucu the remnant of the rear guard. The ballot box needs tbe highest kind' of protection. IT ode man possesses the -power to turn tho financial world upside down it is about time to think about It If you want to bear something about the growth of the city talk to ths casual visitor. The man who kills himself in tho pursuit of wealth only secures decent burial. THE bleats of the (horn lambs should not disturb the strictly business community. Willie Winkle. TIMELY PEBS0HAL8. President Harrison is at work on his an nual message to Congress. The German Geographical Society has be stowed the Humboldt medal upon tbe Norwe gian explorer Nauson. Dr. Grekfell Baker, who was physician to the late Sir Richard Burton, is engaged on a biography ot the distinguished traveler. The report that Minister Lincoln was to visit Washington for tbe purpose of tendering bis resignation proves to be entirely without foun dation. Edwin Booth will soon present a portrait of himself to the town of Belair, Md.. in which place be made his debut as an actor. Thursday of tbis week will be the next birthday anniver sary of Mr. Booth. By a carious coincidence Henry M. Stanley and George Kennan are both lecturing in New York tbis week one on Africa, tbe other on Kamchatka. One can take his choice between a hot or cold lecture as he desires. Justin H. McCarthy, M. P.. is Just 30 years old. He has published 11 book and seven plays. He is tall and tbin, with a very small head. lie has traveled much in Persia, and has an inti mate acquaintance with tbe literature of that country. Judge Earl, re-elected to tbe New York Court of Appeals, has filed a statement that be did not spend a cent in aid of bis election. This breaks tbe celebrated record of Prof. Seelye, whose election to Congress in Massachusetts cost him 3 cents tbe price arice of tbe postage stamp which carried bis letter of acceptance. It Is now stated that Frederick E. Ives, a photographer of Philadelphia, has dlcovered a method of taking photographs in colors. If tbis is so. Mr. Ives will at once become rich as well as famous, but old photographers always smile incredulously when ths subject of photo graphing in colors is mentioned, for they be lieve it can't be done. Colonel Ingersoll predicted ten years ago that by this time two theaters would be built for one church. Chaplain McCabe, of the Methodist persuasion, reminded him of it the other day.saying: "The time is up. Tho Metho distsare now building four churches every day one every six hours. Please venture another prediction for the year 1900." Lucy Hooper has been to see Bernhardt in tbe new play and her description of the death scene is interesting: "Cleopatra's action and gestures in tbis scene are of an unimpeachable modesty. She not open her tunic, but slips tbe snake into it from above, pressing her hands upon the imprisoned reptile as she calls upon it to 'bite bite again bits harder and one gets cold chills down one's tack while com templatiug her. Then, when she dies, she falls upon her back, so as not to hurt the hidden serpent" TBOTTBLE IN A SECEET SOCIETY. Questions the Order of Woodmen, Now in Session, Mutt Meet. Springfield. III., November 1L The biennial meeting of tbe Jead Camp of the Order of Modern Woodmen, opened here to-day. The organization has 44,000 members in Illinois, Iowa, Minnesota and North and South Dakota. Tbe order is considerably torn up by tbe conflicting interests of some'of its leaders, and has been involved in considerable litigation. A largely attended meeting was held at Des Moines in August last at the instance of Head Consul Joseph C. Root, which would have re salted in the organization abandoning its Illi nois charter and remorlne headquarters to that city bad not an injunction been obtained from the Chicago courts by Dr. McKInney and otber members of the management Some time ago, also, the head camp imposed special and double assessments on all its local camps and undertook to suspend members who did not pay up. The claim was made by the mem bers that the assessment was illegal, and two Chicago courts have so decided and enjoined the proposed suspensions. THEY MUST PAY DOTY, TOO. No Free Alcohol for Scientific or Educa tional Institutions. Washington, November 11. Tbe Treasury Department has decided that pure alcohol is dutiable at tbe rate ot 10 per cent ad valorem, without regard to the use for whicb it is in tended. Tbis will prevent tbe importation free of duty of alcohol for the use of scientific or educational institutions. Christain Workers. Hartford, November 1L At to-day's ses sion of tbe Cbristian Workers' Convention, Colonel George P. Clarke, of Chicago, read a paper by Mrs. Clarke on work for prisoners in that city, and the same kind of work in New York Stats was described by Miss Coffin, of Brooklyn, THANKSGIVING COMMENTS. Buffalo Times (Rep.): Democrats es pecially have canse to be thankful and joyful. Rochester Union and Advertiser (Dem.): Over tbe joys of Thanksgiving-tide the hatchet is always buried. New York Press (Rep.): We Republicans can be thankful that so many of us are alive and that tbe political cyclone was no worse. Philadelphia Times (Dem.): The President notes Thanksgiving Day, Just as tbe country wished. For many a goose was cooked of late. And many a duck's been dished. Boston Globe (Dem.): President Harrison's Thanksgiving proclamation is made np of vague and far-away generalities this year. It really reads as though that great and good man had tried hard hut couldn't think of any thing in particular to be thankful for. Philadelphia Bulletin (Rep.): The Presi dent's Thanksgiving proclamation, issued on Saturday, makes no reference to politics, though many ot his fellow-countrymen see reason for devout tbankfnlness in that tbe campaign is over; but it calls attention to the fact that this country has a great deal to be thankful for. Boston Herald (Ind.): Doubtless there will bs a disposition In some quarters to read be tween the fervent lines of the President's Thanksgiving proclamation, in view of recent events, but everybody ought to be patriotic enough to echo its sentiments and prepare for tbe occasion. Blessings have been vouchsafed to us in some form without distinction of party or creed, and everybody likes turkey. DEATHS OF A DAY. Miss Carrie Mitchell. ' There are many who will regret to learn that alias Carrie Mitchell, daughter of Judge Mitchell, of Pnnxsutawney. died at about 4 o'clock yester day afternoon. She had been a frequent visitor at the home of ber ancle, G. H. Mundorft, 2203 Carson street at which place she died. She was stricken Wednesday with malignant diphtheria, and her robust physique and good constitution were no match for Its fatal ravages. Miss Mitchell was a beauttul girl or 25 years, well known In socl etr circles throughout the State, and with a beauty of'cbaracter that enhanced her outward charms. Her parents were present at her deathbed, and telegrams from hundreds orsympathlz.ng friends helped to cheer her in her last moments. The re mains wilt bo taken to Pnnxsutawney.thls morn ing for Interment. Hon. John A. Happer. ISPECIAL T1CLIQHAM TO THX DISPATCH. 1 Monongattela City, Nbvembet 11. Hon. John A. Happer, formerly member of tbe Leg islature from Washington county, died at his home in this city at the age or 75. years. He lived on the Old Homestead farm, which was patented by his grandfather May 19, 1737, and which has been In tlie family ever since. He was an elder In the Presbyterian church or Mingo, from which place he will be burled Thursday, November IS. Andrew, his brother, has been a missionary at Canton. China, for 5f years. His son, of the same name, was Adjutant of Colonel Dick Coulter's regiment. Alexander McCormlck. The friends of Mr. Alexander McCormlck, formerly a well-known resident of Allegheny, were apprised yesterday ofbls death on last Sun day, at his borne in Shenandoah. Iowa, where of late years lie lias been a prosperous merchant. He was a son of the late Captain McCormlck and a brother-in-law or ex-Mayor Pearson and Robert Patterson, of Allegheny. Count Maurice Esterhazy. Vienna, November 11. Count Maurice Ester btxy, formerly Austrian Minister to the Vatican, is dead. THE TOPICAL TALKER, A Disappointment. A gentleman who lives in the East End has among his worldly possessions a horse that dances to music with great grace and agility. Tbis saltatory accomplishment is not appre ciated very highly, however, by tbe driver of tho beast tor the apparently good reason that the dance usually winds up, as it does in Hun garian circles, with a general smash up. He has often driven a couple of blocks out of his way to avoid a perambulating band. A few days before the election tbe East Ender drove into town and tied up his horse in front of a shoe store, wblch be entered with a view to getting shod. He was trying on a pair of shoes, and had both of his own shoes off and one new one on, when a boompitty, boompitty boom, announcing the approach of a band, fell upon bis ear. "Great Scott 1 My hor-e'll bolt" he shouted to the astonished salesman as be rushed to tbe door, with but one shoe on. He sprang into tbe buggy and caught the lines. It was not a moment too soon, apparently, for tbe horse, with ears pricked up. was already nervous. A bystander loosed the hitching strap, but tbe agitated gentleman in the buggy saw that it was too late to attempt to turn around in the narrow tboroughfare and flee from the ap proachingTjand. It was confoundedly unpleas ant, bat he braced his booted foot against tbe dashboard, gripped tbe lines firmly, and pre pared to face tbe music It was a brass band, and they were playing something very noisy and full of chances for the bass drum. To the pallid driver in the doomed buggy it was the most alarming "Invitation to the Dance" he bad ever beard. Tbe horse was trembling slightly a trick he bad beforo going into tbe air. Down tbe street came the big dram major, making a holy show of himself as usual, and behind him came a whirlwind of tarrarums and boompitty booms. Then tho horse stood stock still and looked calmly into a trombone as it almost touched bis nose, as If brazen music were tbe one soothing influence his equine soul had ever known. The East Ender declares, moreover, that as he re-hitched the disappointing steed be de tected a twinkle in bis left eye, and heard a rumble in tbe beast's throat that might have been taken for a horse laugh. The Election Betting. "Making doe allowance for blaster and mere wind," said an extremely practical politician of tbe First ward yesterday, "I be lieve that more money changed hands in Pitts burg over the election last week than ever be foro in politics here. I have 15 or 16 years' ex perience in election betting, and 1 never saw more money put up in Pittsburg in a Presl dental election than there was on Delamater and Paulson. Why, within my own personal observation bets amounting to at least $70,000 or 180,000 in the aggregate were made in this city. There is one business man whose inter ests and boms are in tbe East End who won $30,000 at least by Paulson's election, and he would bavs been stripped of every bit of prop erty and every dollar be bad if Delamater had won." Too Much Water. (('"There is more rheumatism about this fall than I remember for years," said a doctor of wide practice yesterday. "I find that com plaints that can be attributed to tbe damp weather exceed all tbe others put together. The fact is, the climatic change which has oc curred daring the last three years is not prop erly appreciated by the pnblic at large. I am speaking of tbis region only, but I believe it is measureably true of the whole continent when I say that for more than tbree years the atmos phere has been .snperhumid to a remark able degree. Neither extreme beat In summer nor extremo cold in winter have come to our rescue to dry out the air and the earth charged with moisture. The average humidity of tbe seasons for 3S months past has been greater, I am certain, than for any previous period of which records are ex tant In consequence rheumatism, catarrhal complaints and lung troubles are keeping tbs doctors busy. I think a winter of the old fashioned sort, hard frosts lasting several weeks at a time, would be a blessing, in a sani tary sense, that conld bardly be overrated. If this winter proves to be like unto last year's I look for an increased mortality in this city." XBISHMEH FIND 170 FAULT. They Understand Why Harrison and Blaine Can't Attend Irish Meetings. irnoM A staff coRBEsroxDEMT.1 Washington, November 1L Irishmen of tbis city, who are at tbs front in making ar rangements for the reception and "big meeting' of Dillon and O'Brien, say in regard to the rumors of tbe dissatisfaction of some members of tbeir racs at tbe report that neither Secre tary Blaine nor the President will attend ths meeting nor show any attention to the distln erulslied fugitives, that Irishmen of this city understand the questions affecting such things too well to find any fault on account of tha absence of these high officials of tbe Govern ment on tbe coming occasion. It is said, however, tbat there can be no diplo matic impropriety in members of the adminis tration other than Blame and Harrison attend ing tbe meeting if they see fit, and tbat tbe Cab inet may possibly be represented by both Sec retary Tracy and Secretary Husk. Bad News for Excursionists. New York, November 1L Tbe Trunk Line Passenger Agents' Association to-day decided to discontinue the selling of "tourist" or low rate tickets. Tbis will increase tbe cost of tbs regular winter excursions tbat are usually ad vertised at tbis season of the year. Portuguese Reinforcements From. Brazil. Bio Janeiro, November It The French steamer Bresil has sailed from here for Lisbon with2U0 organized Portuguese patriots, who bavs volunteered to reinforce tbe Portuguese troops in East Africa. CONDITION OP WALL STBEET. Wall Street Dally News: It has been a rich man's panic more tban anything else, for tho decline does not seem to have developed weakness in unexpected quarters, or indeed any sufficient to cause any special anxiety. Springfield Republican: But tbe thing which weighs heaviest on tbe market is the situation abroad. Europe has led and still leads in tbe liquidation now in such marked progress, and while it continues abroad, it will go on here in greater or less degree. Wall Street Daily Investor: Of course this is a splendid time to buy stocks for those who have tbe money and the nerve to do it, for in tbe natnre of things the rebound must be very great from ths unreasonable depression pro duced by this manipulated panic. Philadelphia Press: Ths market did not act as if the liquidation was at an end, but the street is hoping for tbe best. Comparatively little money is borrowed on stocks, and the re duction of the bull account has been gradual enough to distribute the losses pretty thor oughly. New York Times: There are legitimate causes for lower prices in the heavy selling on the London markets and in the amount of capi tal withdrawn from stock operations by active business enterprises, but there are no known legitimate causes for any such sadden and ex- treme fall as bas taken place since Friday last New York Herald: It looks very much as if money had been "locked up" in order to temporarily advance the rata of interest and make it difficult to cany stocks on" margin. The Treasury Department evidently regards yesterday's stringency as artificial, and it is sig nificant that no important interest here bas made any appeal to 'Secretary Windom for relief. New York Commercial Advertiser: There are numerous explanations for the continued and destructive fall in prices: none of them en tirely satisfactory, and nons of tbem of such a character as to givs ground for speaking confl. dently.on tbe probable duration of tbe decline. Tbe money question is foremost now, as it has been in tho last threa weeks. New York Star: The fact seems to be tbat this country. In common with the rest of tbe civilized world. Is suffering from a temporary scarcity of capital consequent upon a period of excessively rapid development The great and valuable economic functions wblch the stock markets perform in the financial organization of ths country maks tbe appearance of dis turbed conditions there a matter of consider able moment. Reflecting as they do unhealthy symptoms In the general trade and finances of the country, they are more serious than care less observers usually admit. A BRILLIANT EVENT. The Marriage of Mr. Jesse T. Lazear and Miss Crissie McKelvy, In the East End An Elegant Reception OFoUows A Day's Social Happenings. "Standing room only" might have been said of tha wedding of Miss Christine McKelvy and Mr. Jessie T. Lazear that took place in the East Liberty Presbyterian Church at 8 o'clock last evening. The assemblage that witnessed tbe interesting ceremony and after ward graced tbe magnificent home of tbe McKelvys at tbe reception was one of the most brilliant and fashionable of the season. With Prof. Oittin;s at the organ the notes of Lohengrin's Bridal Chorus annonnced the bridal party. Ten ushers, Messrs Augustus Murdoch, Howard Biowell, William Patrick. William Faber. Jr.: George Lyon. Stewart Johnston. James Hailman, Denniston Lyon, Ralston McKelvy and Fred Wise, who had previously seated the elegantly attired guests, preceded the maid of honor. Miss May Lyon, and tbe bride, who was escorted up the aisle by her lather, Mr. John R. McKelvy. Tbe groom and bis best man, Mr. Lyttleton Lazear, were in waiting at tbe altar and the all-imnortant words were spoken by Rev. Dr. Knmler, pastor of the church. The bride, a bright, attractive and beautltul girl, whose propensity for making and retain ing friends is almpst abnormal, was costumed in an elegant white brocada of heavy rich silk, fashioned with a long train and a bodice half blgh. A veil of extreme length and cxquislto texture enveloped ber graceful figure aud a bonquet of the "Mrs. Hardy" chrysan themnms gave tbe finishing touch tn .the pretty apparition. The maid of honor was golden a gown of golden crepe, glove, slip pers and bouquet to correspond made ber more bewitching tban ever, and she is always bewitching to an uncomfortable degree for some people. Tbe reception that followed the church services was an elaborate one. Tbe brown stone mansion wherein tbe bride has spent ber girlhood days was radiant with many lights, magnificent palms and tropical plants, and from behind a screen of massive palms cams the entrancing strains of Toerge's Or chestra as a welcome to tho guests as they entered the hallway. In a room on tha second floor the wedding presents were dis played and formed an attraction dnring the en tire evening, as there were so many, aud they were so tastv and elegant. Tbe steward of the Duquesne Club, Mr. Riley, was responsible for the tempting supper, which was one of tbe features of tbe evening, and Messrs. A. M. & J. B. Murdoch superintended the floral decorations. Mr. Lazear, who is a prominent young attorney on Grant street earned his bride off last evening on a late tram to places unknown, but promised to return ere long and with her occupy the resi dence on South Highland avenue prepared for them. QEEETED WITH GBEAT APPLAUSE Was the Celebrated Chopin Artist de Fach xnan, Last Evening. An ordinary artist would have been embar rassed, last evening, at the applause given, but Vladmir de Pacbraan simply bowed and smiled, and tbe more ha bowed and smiled the more rapturously the andienca applauded, until decided sbake3 of tbe head by the talented gentleman and vigorous flourishes of a cambric bandkercbief, with other evidences of heat and fatigue, ap pealed to their sympathies, and they desisted. But before having tbeir sympatbies aroused, they had most heartily expressed tbeir appre ciation of tbe interpretation of Cboplu's melo dies which were given on the piano by de Pachman, who. as a performer, was noticed extensively in The Dispatch after bis appear ance at Old City Hall last year. Carnegie Hall was filled last evening, and tbe balcony, too, was utilized to a large extent, to set the many who desired to listen to the noted pianist. His appearance was under the management of Messrs. Webster and Henricks and formed one of tbe entertainments of the new "Star Course," that these gentlemen have inaugurated and for which they have secured a number of eminent musicians. MB. FRANK TOOLE AND WIFE Making an Appearance on the Hotel Regis ters of the Country. Mr. and Mrs. Frank Vogle will be "at home" in tbeir pretty little residence on Garrison street Allegheny, after November 20tb. at least until Mr. Vogle takes up again the meander ings of a commercial traveler whicb his wed ding last evening very naturally interrupted, and even then Mrs. Vogle will remain in tbe inviting come. Tbe ceremony that gives Mr. Vogle tbe privilege of writing "and wife" after bis name on tbe hotel register for the trip be Is taking now and any future ones on which Mrs. Vogle mayaccompanyblm, was performed ac the residence of the bride's parents on Jef ferson street, Allegheny, last evening: by tbe Rev. David S. Kennedy. Miss Chrissie Alsbonwas the young lady who so gracefully gave up ber own name to bear tbat of Vogle, and a very pretty bride she was. Tbe wedding guests included only tbe rela tives of tho contracting parties, but there were enough to make a merry, joyous gathering. Mr. Vocle is traveling salesman for Latz fc Co., and a justly popular young nran. A PITTSBURG BACHELOR To Wed a Charming and Talented Spring field, O., Lady. Another bachelor has decided it is not good for man to be alone, and. on November 18. this bachelor, Mr. J. J. 'Porter, of tbs wealthy firm of Porter fc Donaldson, will lead to the altar Miss Mary Clokey, of Springfield, O., daughter of Rev. Dr. Clokey. The bride-elect on the authority of Dama Rumor, is talented, cultivated and clever, the author of a little volume entitled, "Mission Bands," that has awakened considerable favor able comment among cburcb people generally, and possessed of charming manners. ' As Mrs. Porter tbe ladv will doubtless be just as interesting and attractive as Miss Clokey has been, and will necessarily increase the already pronounced popularity of Mr. Porter, who is well known both in tbe business and social circles ot tbe city. The Newsboys' Home Bazaar. To-morrow, from 3 until 10 p. M., tbe chapel of tbe First Presbyterian Cburcb will be tbe scene of much that will be interesting. Ths bazaar and sale of fancy work tbat will be held there is under tbe management of tho social leaders of tbe city and is for the benefit of tbe Newsboys' Home. Social Cliatter. Progressive encber amused and enter tained quite a company of congenial friends at tbe residence of 'Mrs. James H. Friend on Lincoln avenue, Allegheny, last evening. Tbe affair was in honor of Mrs. Friend's sister, who is visiting her from Philadelphia. A highly enjoyable meeting of the British American Association was held In tbeir ball last evening. Tbe programme consisted of an address by Mr. James Dell and various numbers of vocal and instrumental music by others of tbe association. Post 157. G. A. R. will hold an open meeting in its postroom to-morrow evening; to wbich all friends are invited. Soma excellent talent bas been engaged, and all who attend will be gratified. The prica ot admission is only 10 cents. Tickets purchased for the Burdette lecture, advertised to take place recently, which did not materialize, will be accepted for tbe lecture by that gentleman tbis evening in the Third U. P. Church. A large number of prominent Sewickley valley people, including the relatives of tha groom-elect, have gone to Lancaster to attend the Appel-Nevin nuptials to-day. Mrs. A. W. Cadman. at ber charming homo in Edgenood. entertained a number of friends, last evening, in her usual enjoyable manner. The Hay-Kleber wedding at Avalon last evening passed off very pleasantly, tbe cere mony taking place at 6 o'clock. Avery pretty luncheon was given by Miss Mary Herron. of Sandusky street, Allegheny, to a few friends yesterday. GUESSING IS ALL EIGHT. Newspaper Contests Are Not Violations of Anti-Lottery Laws. Washington, November It In response to tbe Inquiries made by Postmaster General Wanamaker under date of October 8, 1S90. as to whether advertisement In newspapers of tbe "guessing contest" in its various phases are In violation of section 3,bW of tho Revised Stat utes, as amended by tha anti-lottery act of Sep tember 19, 1SS0, Attorney General Miller bas submitted his opinion, in whicb be holds in the negative. BAPTIST MDHSTEELIL COHGBESS Opens an Interesting Session In the Nutmeg State. New Haven. November 11. The ninth an nual meeting of the Baptist Congress of Min isters of the United States opened here to-day. About 200 delegates have arrived, and among them are many leading men. Ths meeting was opened this afternoon. Papers were read by Ravi. T. T. Eaton, editor of. ths Western Re corder, Louisville, and others. CJORI0DS C0NDEHSATI0SS. The first steel pen was made in 1830. The first game of cricket was played in London. England, in 1774. At Frankfort, Germany, 500 horse power is transmitted by electricity to adlstance of 110 miles. An Atchison candidate worked so hard that he lost 20 pounds during the canvass and then got beaten. An old woman at Wichita has prophe sied tbat the world would ba destroyed on tha 13th of this month. The Second Regiment of Illinois militia has a full enrollment, and all its members ara under 30 years of age. Tbe Statistical Institute of Rome an nounces tbat 63 per cent of all Italians ara un able to read and write. No other branch of natural history ap proaches, in popularity, that one which is de voted to the study of birds. Before the invention of the telescope an object upon tbe moon's surface 50 miles in diameter could not be seen. The most abiding results of sunstroke are all referable to impaired functional energy of tha cerebro-spmal system. A pair of bantam chickens were sold at tbe London Crystal Palaco for 500, whicb was almost twice tbeir weight iu gold. Society is dull in Leavenworth because of a lack uf young men, and dull in Topeka be cause of a scarcity of young ladies. A bird is one of the most wonderfully organized of all animals, and almost the whole, of its organization Is arranged to facilitate flight One of the most singular facts about the growth of London is its regularity. It may be roughly taken that every month about 1,000 bouses are added. Asaicetida is a vegetable, not an animal product. It is prepared from the roots of a plant extensively grown in Persia,Beloocbistan and Afghanistan. The telescope enables us to measure the invisible by first making it visible; the spectro scope enables us to measure the invisible with out making it visible. The use of India rubber for erasing pencil marks was first suggested in or jast prior to 1752 by an academician named Magel lan, a descendant of the great navigator. Fashionable entertainments have been enurmously extravagant in London tbis season. Several have cost between 830,000 and $10,000. Tbe flowers for a bachelor party cost I5.U00. The Aryan race has proved itself im mensely superior to tbe Semitic in its capacity for political organization, and for pissing on to systems of self-government and federation. Swifts and swallows fly every year from England to Soutbern Africa and to tbe Moluccas, and tbe restless, wandering flight of various oceanic birds is still more surprising. "Better late than never" was used over 300 years ago by Thomas Tucker, in his "Five Hnndred Points of Good Husbandry." Later on Bunyan nsed it in his "Pilgrim's Progress." It is asserted by French vintagers that tbe grapes gathered at sunrise always produce the lightest and most limpid wine. Moreover by plucking the grapes when tbe early morning sun is upon tbem thev are believed to yield a fourth more juice. A sunstroke is often attended with men ingitis, or cerebral changes, wbich may destroy life or intellect sooner or later, or permanently compromise tbe whole health or tbat of some important fauction. There are few such common-sense pro verbs as "every man is the architect of bis own fortune." Applus Claudius, a Roman censor, used it in a speech delivered by him 4G0 years before tbe Christian era. Birds are the only animals, besides man, which can be taught distinctly to articu late and utter sentences, whicb, though of coarse not understood by tbe birds themselves, are none tbe less surprising to listen to. The salt works at Saltair, Utah, cover 900 acres. Tbe vats are 15 feet above tbe sur face of the lake, and are filled by means of a huge rope driven at a high speed, wbich lifts tbe brine in a steady stream at the rata of 13,000 gallons a minute. According to Weismann, every character possessed by every animal is due to tbs preser vation in tbe struggle for life of minute acci dental variations in the molecular structure of cermplasm, which alons bas adapted every being to Its environment. Bones are necessarily more or less heavy structures, but tha bones ot most birds, while tbeir solid substance is exceedingly strong, are wonderfully lightened by the details of its ar rangement, and still more by tbe fact tbat most of tbem contain not marrow, but warm (and therefore light) air. It is not so long since that hod-carriers were regarded as quite unworthy of the notice of bosses. Tbings have changed, at least in S L, Louis, wbere hod-carriers get $3 a day for eigbt hours, while carpenters receive only $2 SO for the same time. The hod-carriers organized and had the courage of conviction. Twelve years ago the German Govern ment a mighty powerful corporation under took to abolish tbe Socialist party. As a result of a persecution, where there was one Socialist at tbe outset there are now ten. Ths party has become so strong that tbe Government has been obliged to recojrmze it as a political ele .ment too powerful for repression. Any vessel causing a disaster at her launch is regarded by the Japanese as doomed to ill fortune for her whole career. At Osaka lately a vessel capsized while being launched, several persons being drowned, and her owners determined to destroy ber at once before tha unlucky craft produced a further catastrophe. Tbe destruction was carried out by night with much ceremony. Some wealthy ladies ot New York have prepared a project for tbe starting of a great daily paper here. It is not to be an organ of women's political enfranchisement merely, but but is to be a champion of all ber rights as a dominating force in the community, and as an important factor in tbe social, business and in dustrial world. It is to print all the news and views that are of special interest In the develop ment of femininity, and the expectation of Its projectors is tbat it will be scanned every day by all tbe women of 1? ew York, if not by all tbe men. The grasshoppers are said to have been human beings in an age before tbe Muses. When the Muses came and song appeared they were ravished with delight: and singing always, never thought of eating and drinking, until at last in their forgetfulness they died. And now they live again in the grasshoppers; and this is tbe return wbich tbe Muses make to tbem they banger no more, neither thirst anymore, but are always singing from the moment tbat tbey are born, and never eating or drinking; and when tbey die tbay go and inform the Moses in heaven who honors tbem on earth. MIRTH AND WIT. Brown Can I sell you a horse? Bagnall What's the matter with hhat-Hrook-lyn Life. Paradoxical though it may seem, the Dark Ages came before knlght-falt Xfrakt't Magasine. First Egg I am tired staying in this hot water. becond Egg Never mind. You'll get hardened to it. Detroit ree Press. The asp that supports Bernhardt in "Cleopatra" la charged with sinuous habits, bat this may bea groundless aspersion. Pnitadelphia Ledger. What it Was. Mrs. De Flat What is that horrid smell? Mr. De mat I judge from tbe odor that It's one of Hose odorless oil stoves." Sew Xork Weekly. Boy Say, mister, please give me five cents' worth of castor oil, and give me very snort measure, too. Druggist abort measurel Why? Boy Why, I've got to take it mjuir. Brooklyn Lift. Miss Terriut When mommer and I wera in Vurrop. oh, the awfolest thing happenedt There was a Prince and a Count and and tbey fought a duel-about poor me with pbtols. Yabsley Ab! were they loaded; Miss Terriut No, they weren't. Tbey werejnst as sober as could be. The Mirror. Teacher Tommy Binco, this execuse that yon have brought me for being absent yesterday cooks very much as if you had written it. Tommy Bingo Mother always did write like me, lma'am. ieu Xork Sun. "So you didn't take Jones' house?" "No, ho wanted 00 a month, and we split on that." "I see you were rent asunder." Drake's Magasine. He You remember you said last night that you would be a sister to me all my life? She-iTes, 1 did. Ha Well, I proposed to your sister Kate tbis afternoon and, judging by what she said, I rather think you wilt Somervillt Journal. 1 V