mmt'h im i 'i m mmr f THE PITTSBURG DISPATCH, SU2STDAY. ' OCTOBER '26, 1890.V ijgpafolj. ESTABLISHED FEBRUARY 8. IMS. Vol. 43, N . Ml. - Entered t Pittsburg PnstoBce. ovembcrH, lSnT. as second-class mutter. Business OfficeCorner Smltafleld and Diamond Streets. KevrsEooms and Publishing House 75, 77 and 79 Diamond Street. EASTEKN ADVERTISING OFFICE, U0031Z1, 3MISUNE BUILDING. SEW YORK, -where complete Dies, or THE DIM'ATCH can always be Jouud. Forilgn advertisers appreciate thecon xrnlence. Home advertisers and friends or THE DP-PATCH, wlillc In New York, are also made welcome. THE JJIsrXTCTI U regularly on tale a Jlrentano's, 5 Cmon Square, Sew York, and 'I'Avc. de V Opera. J'arts, fiance, where any one who has been disappointed at a hotel news Hand can obtain it. TERMS OF THK DISPATCH. I ..STAGE rr.KB IS" THE USITED STATES. jijiilt DIsrATCit, One Year. I SM Daily Disr-ATcn, PerQuarter 100 Daily DisrATCH, One Mouth "0 Dailt DisrATcrr, Including Sunday, 1 year. 3000 Daily DisrATcn, inciudingMinday.Im'tlis. ISO Daily Dispatch, Including bunday.lnionth SO fcUXDAY DlSI'ATcn. One Year 150 Weekly Dispatch, One Year J3 Tue Daily DisrATcn is delivered bycarrlersat rtccnUper week, or Including fcunday edition, rgOcents re- --1 This isuo or THE DISPATCH contain 20 pages, mndc up of TIIKEE PARTS. Fnilure on llio part of Carriers, Agent, Newsdealers or Newsboy to snpply pa-l:-oni with a Complete- Number should be promptly reported to this office. Voluntary contributors should l:eep copies of vrticles. J compensation is desired the pi-ice crpceted must be named. Tlte courtesy of re turning rejected manuscripts trill be extended when stamps for that purpose are enclosed, but the Editor of Tut. Dispatch triTI under no circumstance be responsible for the care of un teficited manuscripts. POSTAGE All persons who mail the Simdnr issnp of The Dispatch to friends should bear in mind the fact that the post nee thereon is Two C-J) Cents. AH double and triple number copies ot The Dispatch require a -cent stamp to insure prompt delivery. rlTTSBURG. SUNDAY. OCf. 2G. 1S90. COMPETITION AND WAGES. Before the effect of cutting off the supply of cas from the puddling furnaces can pos sibly have made itself felt in the coal trade, word conies from up the Monongahela river that the demand for the labor of the miners is gettin; ahead of the supply. This is ex plained by the fact that a large share of the miners have found other occupations, the development of new industries atsnch places as Belle Vernon and Charleroi having af forded them employment of other kinds. The result is that as the winter approaches the coal mines have not enough men to keep up the usual output, and as a consequence it is becoming necessary for better wages to be offered in order to secure workmen. If the new departure in cas, in this city, should cause a return of the mills to coal, it would emphasize this necessity to the extent of a a radical increase of wages. Such an outlook is exceedingly gratifying to the miners and all who arc glad to see an enhancement of earnings for men whose in dustry is always severe and generally ill paid. But it has an additional value in illustrating the error of the principle that the free action of competition pulls down "wages and grinds the laboring class down into poverty. Such a doctrine can only arise from a failure to perceive that where com petition is perfectly untrammeled and even, the competition of employers for the labor ot workingmen will have its effect in raising wages just as much as the competition of laborers for employment will in bringing it down. This especial case is a good exam ple of the operation of this principle. New industrial establishments in the Monon gabela Valley created a demand for labor, jn addition to that furnished by the coal mines, and many of the coal miners found employment there. Now when the coal mines wisn to increase their output the com petition makes it necessary for them to offer additional inducements before they can get their men back. The samedemand for com mon labor in this city has raised wages; and where, a year or two ago, men could be had for ?1 25 or SI 50 per dav, contractors now find good men scarce at Si "5 and ?2 00. The reason why the operation of this in fluence is not more frequently seen, is partly because people refuse to see it, but more generally because the organization of in dustry is such as to check the freedom of its action on one side while leaving it free on the other. The competition ol half a dozen corporations for the labor of 100,000 miners in the anthracite regions cannot be as free as the competition of the 100,000 wage work crs for the means of earning food for their families; and when the half dozen corpora tions unite they are successful in throwing the action of competition all on one side. Tue same thing can be seen, in varying de grees, throughout the entire gamut ot in dustrial organization, and it is the effort to correct this unevennessof competition which justifies the organization of labor unions. These organizations sometimes fail and sometimes succeed to the extent of throwing the unevenness of competition all to the other side. But that in all such cases where the one-sideduess of competition oppresses labor, the lault is due not to competition but to the organizations which obstruct it, appears from two facts wbich are almost -universal. The first is that wherever the industry of a district or locality is under the control of a single corporation or combina tion so that a laborer has got to go elsewhere to find competing employment, there the labor of that industry is worst paid. The second is that in the places where the com petition ol'employers most nearly approaches perfect freedom as in a locality of small farmers there the share of the products of industry assigned to labor is the greatest. These tacts indicate very clearly that the most thorough method of improving the condition of laborers is to turn the effort in the direction of increasing the competition for their labor. This can be sought for, not only in the way of facilitating the transfer of labor from the points where it is abundant to those where it is needed; but in the way of creating an additional demand. Every laborer who is able to work for himself in a small way, adds to the demand for labor, by making himself his own employer. Every successful co-operative or profit-sharing en terprise increases the proportionate demand for labor by making the laborers to a greater or less dejree their own employers. The unions meet, or aim to meet, the a temporary urgency by checking the competition of laborers for wages; but the lasting way in which to secure the fullest share of the products of industry, is to use every means to make the competition for labor as active and untrammeled as the competition for wages. ljel PKKTINEXT ADVICE. !, A telegraph correspondence recently took place between an alarmed postmaster in Arkansas and the Postoffice Department at Washington which contains instructive suggestions. The Arkansas official, wrought by an incident which, though supposed to to be indigenous to that region, must be conceded to be disturbing, telegraphed as follows: "Hon John Wanamaker, Washington. D. C: Stranger entered office to-day and presented a Winchester rifle at my head In a threatening manner. Wire answer at once." We 'are glad to be informed' that the Fourth Assistant Postmaster General rose to the occasion and promptly telegraphed back ''Johnny Get Your Gun." Everyone will recognize the pertinence and adequacy of the advice, though perhaps it may seem more satisfactory to the man who tenders it at the safe distance of a thousand miles than to him who contemplates the situation at the wrong end of a Winchester rifle. Still as there really is no more effective remedy for the inconvenience of strangers who enter your office and toy sportively with shooting-irons, than to get your own artillery into action, we must regard the rostoffice Department as having met the situation. But the advice has a broader and more typical application to alargc number of office holders much nearer the Postal Department than Washington. People who in that function have been strangers since 1880, have been entering the Government offices, and presenting a figurative firearm at the heads of the unfortunate clerks and have or dered them to give.up a liberal percentage of their salaries as "voluntary contribu tions" to the Republican campaign. As this is just as much a violation of the law as the prank that was evidently inspired by Arkansas whisky, the advice of the Fourth Assistant Postmaster General should be circulated around the departments at Wash ington. Indeed the Fourth Assistant's epigram should be turned in the direction of his chief. Johnny should get his official gun and fire the political highwaymen who are plundering the department clerks, clear ont of Washington. Till: MIIXS AND THE1K GAS SUPPLY. While the announcement from the Phila delphia Company that it proposes to shut off the natural gas from the puddling fur naces in this city corns in the nature of an unnecessarily sudden surprise, the situation had better be apalyzed before indulging in needless alarm. All that the company could possibly mean, at the most, is if the mills do not pay at the rate of 10 cents per thousand feet, which is charged to domestic consumers, the company will shut them off. Practically this may be equivalent to the non-alternative statement of purpose which emanated from the company's office, as it is a well-established fact that either coal, or oil, or a mixture of both, can be used very much more cheaply than gas at 10 cents per thousand. Besides, the meter is a costly appliance when constructed to register large volumes of gas. In place of being pur chased for a few dollars, as is the ordinary domestic meter, it runs up into thousands. But, setting aside the form in which the corporation officials have chosen to spring their demand, or declare their conclnsion, as the reader may prefer, the situation is not without its remedies. A number of the large manufacturers have already found it economical, and in every way advantageous to have their own independent gas supply. The Equitable Company is owned bv manu facturers who supply their own works. The Carnegie's likewise have their own gas. The extensive Oliver firms have built the large Monongahela line for themselves and other customers; and Jones & Laughlins will soon have a system of pipes flowing all the gas they want from unbounded fields in Washington county. All around the city, at distances not too far for transportation, there are still many thousand acres of gas territory available; and if, like the foolish virgins, there are any considerable number of heavy manufacturers who have left their lamps thus far untrimmed, the way is yet open to them to band together and bring in their own fuel. Artificial gas plants will be found to work very well, not to speak of oil and coal. So long as Pittsburg has the latter, in inexhaustible and cheap supplies, it will continue controlling the situation. It would be improper, however, to pass over the subject without commenting upon the want of foresight which many ot onr manufacturers exhibited in waiting so long before providing themselves with fuel re sources of their own. Whatever construction may be placed upon the course of the Phila delphia Company, and its announcement at an inconvenient season, it has been no more than reasonable to expect that its own in terests would ultimately govern when the paths divided. A broader spirit of enter prise among our manufacturers would have led to the. early securing for Pittsburg of a system of service devoted wholly to their own needs. But in contemplating any pres ent inconvenience there is at least cause for congratulation that a greater peril has not materialized in the proposed syndicating of the Monongahela coal interests, which was so complacently discussed early in the year. The idea then was to put these vast coal fields into the hands of a for eign corporation. The Dispatch, with the city's interest at heart, discountenanced the scheme as far as possible, and was glad to see it fall through. The possibilities of the local coal trade, in control by foreign agency having no interest here excepting to get the most money out of the place, would have been far more serious and unpleasant to contemplate than any temporary disrup tion of existing arrangements as to the gas supply. We do not look for an interruption of the prosperity which Pittsburg is now enjoying in the action of the Philadelphia Company, even though it may occasion temporary in convenience. As we have said, there are vast quantities of gas to be had, and inde pendent means of getting it to the furnaces are being adopted; and where these do not answer it will be found that artificial gas may be made directly or in combination with Lima oil at a costof little, if any, more than the charges now being made by the Philadelphia Company to mill owners. DISLOYALTY TO THE DRESS COAT. Intelligence comes from New York which is calculated to shake the foundations of polite society and give the eminent rulers of the aristocracy, from the clothes point of view, the impression that the floodgates are open and the landmarks, of the tailoring point of view, in danger of being swept away. The extent to which revolutionary and proletarian ideas are encroaching upon the very citadel of millionaire aristocracy is shown in the disturbing news that Cnauucey M. Depew, J. J. Astor, Jr., husband of one of the Mrs. Astors, and the two Yanderbilts boldly went to the theater the other night in common cutaway coats and light trousers, and actually advertised their neglect of the sanctities of dress by sitting in that vulgar garb and the seventh row from the front. This will never dol Are our millionaires determined to ignore the claims of society upon them to respect its covenauces? Shall they be permitted to cast down by one cruel blow the work of the McAllisters and De Lancey Kanes, who have spent la borious years in building up the walls of the social Zion to the point where it resembles English society at least in the matter of male habiliments? The painstaking tnition ot the New York mind, that if the male of the species docs not en shrine himself in a swallow-tail at 7 P.M. be fore going anywhere he is no better than a Philistine, is all cast down. Tho spectacle of the fluent Depew, backed by the repre sentatives or 5400,000,000, discarding all the traditions of the man-milliners, and un blushingly appear at the theater in cutaway coats and light gray trousers, brings to naught all the work that has been done to raise the autocracy of clothes to its lofty po sition. These disloyal persons should be warned. There are limits beyond which even corpora tion Presidents and multi-millionaires must not go. It may do for them to ignore State Constitutions and override the regulative statutes of the United States. But when they trample under foot the sacred and un alterable law of the dress co3t, they should be aware that the outraged feelings of soci ety will express themselves by calling these ribald trifiers no better than vulgar common people. A CHARGE THAT RECOILED. A remarkable and amusing indication of a panic stricken state of mind was afforded the other day by the Dclamater organ at Philadelphia. A circular was sent to sev eral firms asking for 100 subscriptions "for a special political purpose" in a locality which the signers did "not think it wise to specify." This circular fell into the hands of the Philadelphia Inquirer, and the name of Joseph Wharton, which was signed to it, being by some confusion taken for the name of Wharton Barker the latter to their minds like the red rag to the bull they denounced it as a fraudulent attempt to raise money in the interest of Pattison, and asserted that its wording showed it to be intended for a corruption fund. This proves to have a terrible recoil, when it turns out that the signers of the circular are really supporters of Mr. Delamater, and that the money is raised in his interest. His own organ having undertaken to point out the ear marks of a corruption fund, it is left in a tolerably embarrassing position. CONDITION Or THE CANVASS. Though there are some meetings ap pointed for the coming week, the Pennsyl vania campaign is now practically closed so far as mere argument is likely to influence votes. Nearly everyone who intends to vote strictly according to conviction upon the claims of the candidates and the public issues involved, has by this time made up his mind. But this is by no means saying that the work of the managers has finished. That will not end until the polls are closed. The task of getting out the votes and of exerting any influences that can win over such as may be swayed by other considera tions than the direct issues, will of course, as usual, be prosecuted to the last hour. So far as the western part of the State goes, there is every evidence that Pattison will have a great vote probably majorities where his party has minorities. Notwith standing the activity of the managers of the Delamater canvass during the past week, it is.doubtful if they have been able to do more than slightly stem the tide which had already strongly set to Pattison, if they have indeed succeeded in doing that to any ap preciable degree. 'Of the state of feeling in theEast we can only judge by reports; but unless there is a tremendous lot of smoke arising from very little fire, . Pattison will also be able to show a vote there very far in advance of his party. Notwithstanding the bluffing predictions, of large majorities made on both sides, The Dispatch is of the opinion that it is im possible for the prophets on either side to foreshadow any figures that are more than the merest guesses. Everything turns on the extent of the independent Republican voting. That is something no one can fully measure in advance. That it will be of large proportions is undoubted, but whether it will reduce the normal Republican ma jority of 00,000 or more to a mere minority, or swell to the dimensions of an overwhelm ing victory, which the more sanguine of Pattison's supporters predict, is too fine a piece of calculation for the experts, who must recognize in it an unknown quantity. About the only thing absolutely certain is that, should Delamater.nolwithstanding the decidedly adverse signs, pull through, it will be by an uncommonly narrow margin indeed, compared with what any other as pirant to the Republican nomination would have had if placed upon the ticket. At present the signs on the whole are strongly against his success at all. BLAINE HELPING M7IUNLEY. Mr. McKinley cannot ask for any better aid than the Hon. James G. Blaine is giving him. The speech made by the Secretary of State last night, at Canton, is a splendid plea for Mr. McKinley's election and a masterly exposition of the Repub lican national policy, especially as regards protection with Mr. Blaine's addition of reciprocity. Mr. Blaine's ap peal to the believers in protection, Demo crats as well as Republicans, to vote for Mc Kinley regardless of partisan differences on other points, is likely to have some effect upon the contest. It is very evident that Mr. Blaine's has lost none of his old-time power, and we are glad to see it exercised in so good a cause. v Now Brooklyn is going to have its census taken by the police. The practice is one that is likely to become general among the cities. This being the census year. It is obviously im portant that cities of importance and enter prise should take steps to find out what their population is. In view of the fact that Governor Hill while Lieutenant Governor of New York once counted a quorum in the New, York Senate and is now attacking Speaker Reed fordoing the same thing, tho Philadelphia 1'ress re marks: "If the country ever produced a more unscrupulous demagogue than Governor Hill bis name has not been recorded." There is not much room for doubt about Governor Hill's demogognery, but the Press fails to follow the matter ont to its legitimate conclusion. The premise being asserted that to avow one prin ciple at one time and then to throw it over board at another for party purposes, the fact becomes pertinent that Thomas B. Heed, as serted on the floor of the House that the right of the minority to withhold their votes and to require the majority to pass their partisan measures by having the vote of a quorum of the whole in its favor, the reasoning ot the .Press seems to put Mr. Reed ahead of Gover nor Hill on its list of "unscrupulous demagogues."- SenATOE Sheemak did not forget to mention Mr. Delamater in his speech at Old City Hall last night, but the Republican can didate for Governor will probably think that the Ohio statesman need not have expressed his preference for General Hastings quite so forcibly. j Me. C. P. Huntington is quoted as at tributing his success in life to the fact that when he was young, whenever he saw a one penny nail on the floor be picked It up and took care of it, and did not wait until he came across a ten;penny nail iu the same place be fore exerting himself. The example Is en couraging to the aspiring young man. Mr. Huntington's career certainly shows that it a man picks up enough one-penny nails and Gov ernment subsidies, he may eventually rise to the height of princely alliances. Perhaps the reason why Senator Plumb is not with Senator Ingalls on the tatter's stumplnc tour through Kansas is to be found in the fact that bis speeches, if of the kind that he delivered in Conn ess, would have to be given on the Democratic side of the Kansas fight. , The Rochester Post-Express says that any one who tries to create a panic for partisan purposes is deserving of the severest censure. This is intended to operate on the Republican side in other States, but it serves as a very apt description of the Philadelphia Inquirer in this State, wbich is repeating the declaration: "It Robert E. Pattison is elected Governor of Pennsylvania, the fires In the furnaces may as well be drawn and tho great manufacturing in dustries, of Pennsylvania may as well close their doors." Dudley's "blocks of five" libel suit against the New York World is once moro brought to the pnblic notice by reason of the continued indisposition of Dudley to appear on his own side of the case. The .Fenian Brotherhood, at its recent convention, took the wise step of abolishing its secret oath. It was quite right in practi cally asserting that mystery has been a burden to the Irish movement in America. Nothing is to be done in this country for Ireland that may not safely be done with full publicity; and the same thing could be said about a good many other secret organizations. Senator Edmunds asserts that there are some rights left to the States. It looks as if the Senator had not been able to master the reasoning of the courts on the original package question. "Yesterday's storm would have been hailed as a fine vindication of the equinoctial theory if it had only been considerate enough to come a month ago," savs. the New York T ibune. But the fact is that as this series of storms has lasted about a year and a half, it will vindlcato almost any theory except that which is based on fine weather. After one week more the politicians will begin to contemplate a return to the basis of truth and soberness. Ann Odelia Diss Debar has reap peared on the scone of action once more in Brooklyn, where she advertises to produce "spirit pictures." Ann Udelia has made a mis take. If she had come to Pennsylvania she could have got steady employment from the Dclamater managers in turning out spook pic tures for campaign material. PERSONAL JOTTINGS. Emin PashX's .real name is Eduard Schnitzler.' Antonio be Navarro, the husband of Mary Anderson, has just come. into a legacy of S330.000, left him by the late Francis Dykers, of New York. The country place of G. W. Childs, at Bryn Mawr, is said to be one of the finest in the United States. The pay-roll for servants alone averages about $1,009 a month. MBS. Johw W. Mackay opened the antumn season in the American colony in London this" week by a reception given in honor of her father. Colonel Daniel Hungerford. CHAUNCEY Depew learned while in Europe that Bismarck did bis best to bring on a war between Germany and the United States at the time of the Samoan troubles, but Emperor William overruled him. Robert Adams, Jr., ex-United States Min ister to Brazil, divides with ex-Select Council man A. Haller Gross the distinction of being the beau ideal among the bachelors of Phila delphia's best society. Mr. Adams is a Colonel on the Governor's stall, and a prominent figure in the Philadelphia Club andtheUnioiiLeague. Rudyard Kipling came by his very uncon ventional Christian name in a rather romantic way. The future parents of the brilliant nov elist plighted their treth on the shores of the well-known English Lake Kndyard, And com memorated the occurrence later m life by the novel method of christening their son with the name of the place. Dr. Kotjcharsky, a professor of medicine in St. Petersburg, completed alecture on acids, and then poured some drops from a vial in a glass. Then he said to bis class: "Attention, young menl In two, minutes you will see a man die. Good-by toyou allt" He drank tho liquid, took out bis watch, and counted the sec onds until ha dropped dead. Rev. Howard MacQueary, the Canton Episcopal clergyman, whoso book. "Evolution and Christianity." created such a stir in chnrcb circles and who was accused of heresy on ac count of his views on Christ's divinity and resurrectiou, will be tried next week by a church commission of which Rev. Dr. Ganter, of Akron, will be Chairman. John T. Ford, of Baltimore, the veteran theatrical manager, looks 20 years younger than he actually is. He was well advanced along life's highway when President Lincoln was shot in his theater at Washington City. Mr. Ford is said to be the oldest theatrical manager in the country in consecutlvo years of business, and has brought out more great dramatic stars than any other manager. Ajiono the yountr unmarried ladies who shine in New York social circles by reason of their beauty is Miss Bruco Price, the daughter of Bruce Price, the distinguished architect. Miss Price is handsome and statuesque, and her belleship at Tnxedo. Newport and In the city is unquestioned. She is very tall and stately, has soft brown eyes, lustrous brown hair, and is an unusually clever and accomplished girl. "I have written much and am tired." That is M. Ludovic Halevy's excuse for putting an end, while still living, to a long and prosperous career of antborshlp; and it is probably as good an excuse as any that could be offered. Yet M. Havley is by no means an old man, being still under (10. His plays have brought him fame and moneyvand his voluntary retirement from the literary field was entirely unex pected. The mother of Mane Basbkertseff has erected a wonderful monument to her daughter near Paris, that looks more like a house than a tomb. The interiorwhich can be plainly seen, contains the young artist's rocking chair, little table and favorite books, and the names of her paintinzs shine In gold letters on the wall. A perpetual light burns before her bier, which her girl friends heap every day 'with fresh flowers, and her portrait, life size, hangs above it. Rev. Dr. Joseph Parker, of London, is making a crusade against old methods of wor ship and exhortation. He says that preaching is no longer an effective instrument of the gospel. Preachers, he thinks, are - living in a fool's paradise, driveling theology instead ot dealing directly with the daily life of the peo ple. Dr. Parker has invited correspondence from all classes of persons for the purpose of learning what the public think of the pulpit and its methods. Foster Coates tells a ludicrous story of how his ideas of Ward McAllister, leader or the Four Hundred, were destroyed by his flrit visit to that magnate. He had imagined the social magnate as a man who arrayed himself in purplo and fine linen silk stockings includ ed, of course- It was duringthe morning when Mr. Coatos called, and tho society dictator re ceived him In a greasy old shooting coat, wear ing on his feet a pair of slippers that flopped up and down on his heels as he walked, reveal ing white cotton hose, Mr. Coates' conclusion was that silk stocking gentry do not necessa rily wear silk stockings. Captain David A. Lyle, of the United States Ordnance Denartment, Is thoroughly, qualified to speak on the subject of World's Fairs, having been military assistant to Com missioner Franklin during the Paris Exposi tion. In referring to the forthcoming Colum bian display to be held In Chicago he says we need not hope to rival the Paris Exposition from an artistic standpoint, but In magnitude. in scone, in magnificence and variety of natural products, in machinery, in invention, and many other ways he thinks our four hundredth anni versary celebration will go ahead of anything over attempted Id the line of international fairs. THE TOPICAL TALKEfi. A Slippery Peddler. Come curious confidences were exchanged by the clergymen of the Protestant Episcopal Church who met here last week. Here Is one of them: Tho subject of work among the poor of onr great cities bad been under discussion, and one or the clergymen said: "I think there is espe cial need for a moro kindly and sympathetic at titude toward ex-convicts. The man who Comes ont of the penitentiary often finds very little encouragement or opportunity to lead an honest life." "flo doubt there is a wide field for us in the direction yon suecest," said another clergy man, who hails from a great city in the East, "but I must'say that a recent experience of mine has dampened my ardor. One day last month a member of my congregation called to see me about some church matters. I accom panied him to the door when he left, and had hardlv taken myfceat again in the library when the door bell rang, and in a minnte or so the housemaid informed me that a man wished to see me. 1 went out and found a disreputable looking fellow standing in the hall. I asked him what he wanted, and he said he bad some soap to sell. I told him 1 did not need any soap, and ho raid In a monrnful tone that'that wasy what everybody said 'nobody would buy soap nor nothin'.' "There was something piteons about the man's acceut and I felt I ought not to send him away empty. I took him into the library and when he was seated I asked him to tell me something aoont himself. " 'I'll make no bones about it,' he said, 'I've just come out o' the penitentiary and I'm try in' to make an honest livin' the only-way I can. bnt nobody wants my. soap nor nothin'. 1 wasn't always this low down. Before I was tempted and took my employer's money I wore just as good clothes as you do, sir broadcloth instead of these b ere rags. They sent me to the pen an' none o' my old friends '11 speak to me now." "I was quite touched, for tho man's eyes brimmed with tears as be talked, and, although 1 knew my wife would throw it away, I bought half a dozen cakes of soap, much to his sur prise and joy. " 'May heaven bless you, sir,' he said. "I've had nothin' since mornin' to eat. I've pawned nearly everything, and the only thing I've got left is this umbrella an' that'll have to go soon,' and he held up a good sillc umbrella as he walked toward the door. I cut his thanks short and showed him out. "When I had laid the soap on the table, I Btepped into the ball to call my wife. Just then the door bell rang, and thinking it was the ex convict with the soap back again I opened it. It was not the ex-convict, but the gentleman who had preceded him. " 'I've come back for my umbrella,' he said. 'I left it here when I called.' "We both looked at the umbrella stand. One very aged and clerical umbrella, which I bad never been able to lose, met our gaze. Then we concluded it must be in the library, and we searched that apartment. He was sure be had left it in the stand in the hall, quite surra- It was a gold-handled umbrella his son had brought him this summer from Europe, and he valued it highly. "Strangely enough,' he added, 'It is the only umbrella I have left,' and theu it flashed across me that the ex-convict with the soap had said nearly tho same words about his silk um brella. "The tearful gentleman with the soap had taken the umbrella. And that's why I say that I feet discouraged about the ex-convict ques tion." Hani to Keep Clean. fLEANLINESS is next to godliness," said the lady of the house to a particularly dirty tramp who had declined an offer of soap and a basin of water before he ate the breadfasthe had begged. "It may be with you, ma'am," said the tramp, "but to my business it's next to impossible!" Practicing on a Physician. Tt was 3 o'clock in the morning when the doc tor's night bell rang. The doctor had not been long enough in the business to disregard the 'summons, and he came to the window. The rain wis falling in torrents, still the doctor leaned out of the window and asked: "Who is nr "I want Dr. McC ." The young doctor bad taken Dr. McC 'a house, and Dr. Mc(3 himself had moved to another city. "I'm Dr. B ," said the young doctor "and Dr. McC has moved away." "Can you give me his address?" was the ex asperating query that next ascended through the rain, and the window was slammed down viciously. No Mistake Possible. tt is the custom of the Home Missions Board to send to the ministers requiring assist ance in blank forms, in which the particulars as to" each member of tho minister's family are to be written out. This is to enable the char itably inclined to send appropriate clothing, etc, in each case. Before the system of send ing out these blanks wad adopted the mission boxes did not always meet tho precise needs ot the families to whom they were sent. Nice little babies' socks, went to people who had grown-up children, and heavy boys' overcoats and trousers to circles of which a baby girl per haps was the hope and joy. But the census blanks have changed all that. Occasionally the details furnished are super fluous. For instance one worthy man described his family circle thus: Mr. James B. Adams male Mrs. Mary U. Adams female Mr. Robert Adams male Mr. Jonas Adams male Miss Alice Adams female Tho Oil Softened Them. VX7HEN they began to strike oil near the town the church people and they were in the majority did not relish it. They freely said that oil drillers were ungodly for the most part, and their hearts were full ot guile. The in vasion of scouts, drillers and the rest of the oil men was looked upon as a calamity. Nearly all the ministers alluded to the impending dis turbance of the community's peace from the pulpit, and one divine denounced the entire oil industry as the Evil One's work, in asermon an hour long ana full of striking argument. A few weeks went by and it was strange to note the change which came over the commu nity's views on the oil question. Most of the land near town had been leased by oil specula tors, and derricks were going up and drills were going down on all sides. There was less talk about the wickedness of taking oil from the earth's interior, and less dennnciation of the men who drilled the wells even among tho chnrch members. A few months went by, and everybody in the town had the oil fever. Most of the leading citizens had money Invested in the oil bnsiness. and there was not a church member who had not taken some sort of a flyer in oil. Two of the ministers had paying wells, and a third divine, the one who preached the long sermon, he had come around, too. It was as to this last opponent of the oil busi ness that 1 inquired of an old residenter: "Oh! Mr. B 's all right," was the reply; "he's got a well in his back yard somewhere that's greasing bis conscience to the extent of $25 a day I" Hepburn Johns. KING SOLOMON'S MINES Encouraged by Recent Discoveries Archae ologists Think They Will be I'onnd. From the London Spectator.l We shall find King Solomon's mines yet. The Times' correspondent with the expedition to Mashonaland, South Africa, reports the discovery, or rather the re-discovery, for they were before visited by a German explorer named Maucb, of Cyclopean ruins near Zln babye, on the plateau. Tbey lie at the base of a precipitous Granite "kopje," or knoll, within an outer wall some 4 feet tilzh, which runs en tirely round it. Within this is another circu lar wall, and then a series of lnclosnres, one of which is circular, inclosing pn area of 'Z10 feet in diameter. This is surrounded by a wall 30 feet high, 10 feet thickat tho base, tapering to 7 feet at the top. "made of granite blocks about twice the size of an ordinary brick, beautifully hewn ana dressed, laid in perfectly even courses, and put together without mortar or cement." Within the area stands a conical tower, 18 feet in diameter at the base and 35 feet high, built in the samo way of solid ma sonry. Similar inclosnres, bnt smaller, are scattered round the "kopje." and on its top is a mass ot granite intended for a citadel. The Mashoua natives have no notion of tho origin of the buildings which struck some ancient Portu guese explorers as being: "Moorish." and others as the work ot the Queen of Sheba. It is imagined by the expedition, from their situa tion, that they were built to protect, or, as we have elsewhere suggested, to coerce the workers in ancient gold mines, traces ot which have also been discovered. A GB0WXNG RESEMBLANCE. A Photographic Investigation of Married Peoples' Faces to Test the Matter. Prom Chamber's Journal. 1 It has been asserted by physiologists that married couples after living together for a nnmber of. years, and having thoughts and oc cupations in common, become not only hko one another in mind, as might be expected, buttbat they also begin to resemble one another in facial appearance. With a view to the elucidation of this point, the Geneva Photographic Society has taken a number of pictures of husbands and wives, wbich are said to give the following resnlts: Of the 78 couples photographed, 21 were found to resemble 'one another to a greater degree than it they bad borne the relationship of brother and sister; while in 30 cases the resemblance was as great as if tbey stood in that relation ship. We aro inclined to, think that the resnlts ar rived at cannot be considered as reliable unless the investigation was conducted in a certain way. If the photographs were handed to an artist who was accustomed to the study of the bnman face, and he, without knowing the originals, succeeded in pairing the husbands and wives by their likeness to one another, and did so correctly, the experiment would bo most significant. But if they were already paired, the desire to find a likeness between them would most surely give rise to a false issue. IN A COUNTRY CHTJKCHYARD. 'Mid waving grass the broken headstones He; The carven cross-bones show, the blades be tween, And half effaced, the once known names arc seen. 'Neath bright liued mosses, clinging tenderly. No flower decked monument here charms the passerby: The dead sleep lost below the exuberant ?recn; None cares to read what once their lives had been; f Their words, their deeds, have passed from mem ory. It hurts our tender vanity to know That time may bring us to the same cold plight. When we and all we lore hate passed from sleht. And o'er our beads the amended grasses grow. Ihe dally tide or lire may ebb and flow. But we shall rest within oblivion's night. V. Q. in Chamber's Journal. OHIO BUCKEYES. Game is reported as being very plenty in the country abont East Liverpool. AT New Alexandria on Wednesday SO merino sheep tipped the beam at 5.010 pounds. There is talk of increasing the police force of Dayton by adding mounted police PlCKIXG green Lima beans in the garden away at the end ot October is an experience of Mrs. A. A Bolton, of Akron. The wires and poles for Martin's Ferry's electric street railway have been ordered and will be put up as rapidly as possible. FOUR or five horses have been stolen within a few miles of Salem in tho last six or eight weeks, and none of them have been recovered. The complete abandonment of the Baltimore and Ohio branch to St. Clalrsvillc is causing mnch complaint among residents along the route. Ik the potato crop of Jefferson county Is 70 per cent of the average.why shonld potatoes re tail in the city of Steubeuvilie at SI 25 per bushel. The rate of taxation for Martin's Ferry this year is $2 75 on the hundred dollars. Just U cents higher than any other point in Belmont county. Denton Graves, of Zanesville, found a Spanish dollar, coined in 1802, while tearing down an old dwelling near Frank's watchouse on Tuesday. HALE3I people are all worked up over the prospect of a N. Y., P. fc O. and Erie Railway extension, and want to bond the town for $50, 00 to bnild the branch. Columbiana aud Jefferson counties are free from debt; Mahoning has a bonded dent of J53.000; Tuscarawas, SS5,000: Carroll, 163,000; Bel mont, J175,; Stark, J106.000. It is reported that water wells on the lake shore and in and around Oregon township have, for the most part,stopped flowing on account of the numerous oil wells that have been sunk in that vicinity. The corn crop of the country is turning out somowhat better than was expected. The yield per acre in Ohio is estimated to bs 31 bushels.. The full crop in Onto is estimated to be92.229.123 bushels. There is a project on foot to run tho Wheel ing Electric Railway line from Martin's Ferry tot Portland, and it is said that all asked for is a free right of way. The line would parallel the Wheeling and Lake Erie. There is prospect ot a" new town down the the river just below Portland, and 21 miles below Stenbonvllle. It is platted on the Hodgens' farm, and is to be called Highland City. Its level is ten feet above the '84 flood, and it is declared to be the finest location for a new town in the upper Ohio Valley. AT Zanesville on Thursday the grand jury came oefore Jndge Philips to inquire whether or not a person stealing a dog was guilty of larceny. The Judge charged: "If it should be proved to you that anyone has stolen a dog in this county, if it also appear that the dog stolen was 'of value,' you would be authorized to indict; in the absence of proof of any value, you shonld not indict." ONE HALLOWEEN. "It Is Halloween," the maiden said: And the clouds went scurrying overhead, And-tbe wind rushed madly after; And It bore on Us wlnss half-slltled sighs. And strains of wild songs, and plaintive cries. And a sound like a witches' laughter. "I shall dream to-night. " the maiden said: And the light of the embers, dull and red. Showed the spectral shadows dimly. And they came and went, and gathered and grew. And took strange shapes and terrors new, And loomed In the chamber grimly. The gaunt trees stood In the darkness wrapped. On the wisdow-pancs their bare twigs tapped With a sound most ghostly seeming; i!nt no echo woke in the maiden's heart. And the grnesome shadows round no part. No place in her clear soul's dreaming. Leigh Harold, in BetfortVs Magazine. X WALL STREET LECTURES Are to be Delivered at Yale College Upon Investment Securities. From the Wall Street Daily N ews. Beginning on November 3, a courso of lec tures, such as have never before been given at Yalo University, will be delivered by F. W. Hopkins, Yale '80. Mr. Hopkins is a son-in-law of "Deacon" White and a member of the brokerage firm of S. V. White &. Co., and has chosen for his subject a course on "Investment Securities." The lectures will bo varied in their treat ment, and will deal with the various securities of railroads, corporations, banks, cities and counties, and private enterprises of every kind. The different forms of securities will be de scribed and distinguished from one another, with illustrations, and the advantages and dls advantages of each for investment will be ex plained. ) With the exception of a few general remarks on the subject in the political economy classes, this topic has been rigidly suppressed, and never before has tho open discussion of Wall street methods been allowed in the classic pre cincts of old Yale. DEATHS OF A DAY. Judge William B. Snell. rsrxciAt. tsxiobam to Tux msjpATcnr.i Wasuinotov. October 25. Judge William B. Snell died suddenly In this city Priaay night, aged CS. For many years he was Judge of the Police Court of Washington. He was a native of JUalne, a graduate of Bowdoln and a brave soldier in the Union army. He entered the service as a Captain In Colonel Heal Dow's regiment, the Thirteenth Maine, and came out a Lieutenant Colonel. After the war he settled in Washington, practiced law and became a Jndge. He was President of the Board or Associated Charities of the District of Columbia, and was active in many good works. Mrs. E.A. Brown. Mrs. E. A. Brown., wife of W. J. Brown, and sister of deorge Shenpard, the well-known bank examiner or Pittsburg, died at Colorado Springs, Thursday. Mrs. Brown had been sick for a short time, and went to the springs In hopes of regain ing her health. Her remains will be brought to Plttsbnrr to-morrow to the home ofhermothcr, 160 BlutT utreet. Funeral from the Eighth V. IV Church, Van ilram and Locust streets, on lues day, October IS, t2 o'clock. MURRAY'S MUSINGS. No Dinner Like the Country Dinner Mov ing Gold and Silver Bricks General Sherman at the Show Flttsburjrers at New York Hotels. tritOH A STAFT COnr.KSFOSDEST.1 iiAfteh all there is nothing like sitting down Jo an old-fashioned country dinner," said a well-fed. portly Washmgtonian who has been spending a week or two in New York. He bad jnst been dined at the Manhattan Club in the magnificent Stewart mansion. "Give me some nice country spare ribs,orfried.chlcken,country style, with vegetables from the garden, accord ing to the season" he continued, "and yon may have your club dinner, with its unknowable delicacies, prepared heaven kpows bow, its choice wines and its interminable cordials and cigars and cossip. Let me look out upon the quiet fields of waving grain, upon the natural forests, the rocks, the shimmering stream, the meadows anything rather than upon brick and stone, reverberating with the roar of cabs and carriages and cars. Perhaps I'm a trifle old fashioned in my tastes. Call it so. I am at least sincere. "This Mew York lire is too fast for me. New Yorkers followpleasnre with the same spirit they follow business. They do it with a rush. They nover seem to "let up. Pve been meet ing men in Wall street during the day who are energetically pushing their business, and. the same men I have met at the clubs at night pushing pleasure with the same snap and vim. Their business is the most exciting kind, too, and one would naturally think the wear and tear ot it could be removed or reduced only by rest. How men can live long in such a constant whirl is beyond me. Tbey don't? Well, 1 see most of them are prematurely gray. And yet tbey look sleek and keen-oyed. are good feeders and drinkers, and are altogether men of stoady nerve. But such a life would kill me within a year. Too fast! Too fast! r m Fads or the Foot lights. 'T'he fads of actresses and actors form a curi ous study. Nearly every person on the stage any length of time betrays a leaning to some particular thing outside of her or his pro fession, a conspicuous weakness. The lovely Sadie Martinot, whosemported dresses excite the woman world, lias a weakness forherpretty self. Sho uses paper with an etching of herself in one corner. Georgie Cayvan has a collec tion of thirty scrap books. Emma Carson and Mario Jansen like cats. Rose Coghlan spends a great deal of time on a couple of big dogs given her by Lester Wallack. Herbert Kelcey, who divides time with Bob Hilliard as a stnge beanty, never wears an overcoat. Llllle Allls ton has raro bric-a-brac picked up in the Orient. Minnie Palmer goes m for etchings. Stewart Robson Is said to love old books. Francis Wilson is crazy on the subject ot Napdleon. He has a big bronze bust or the Emperor, given him by some Columbia College students whom he coached in amateur theatric als. AVIlton LaCkaye has a unique collection of fencing foil?. Langtry has tuaiiy fine pho tographs with autographs. Mollle Thompson is proud other four banjos. Harry Edwarden goes in for bngs. He is an authority on ento mology. Milucs Levick is in love with pipes. Quite a popular fad with the varieties is rum. It also affects qui to a number of the legitimate. Wealth In Ilricks. ViTnEN an express wagon stops at the Safe Deposit Company's vaults, in the Equit able building, a little crowd gathers about It. For iu a few minutes a small truck load of sil ver or gold bars, or rather bricks, comes up the grating and is trundled around the corner to the wagon. The latter is "fitted with a heavy steel wire cage from -end to end. and high enough tor men to stand'upright within. The silver bricks are ingots, weighing about 25 pounds each, and look like so mnch tin. The little tiuck is guarded by a bank official or two and an extra expressman, who make np with laborers half a dozen men. Add from IU to 20 messenger and telegraph boys, and men and women of the passing crowd, and yon will have the necessary number of persons it takes to transfer these precious lumps of metal from the vaults to the wagon. These bricks are not pretty, bnt they have a wonderful attraction for a crowd. And such a serious, awe-stricken crowu, too you'd think tho expressmen were removing a dead body. When the bricks are gold you can tell it with out getting close enougb to see the material, for the public mouth is a little wider open and the public eyes bnlge a little more, and the pnblio voice is a little more hashed, than usual. General Sherman's Youtlifulness. TN a proscenium box at the Casino the other evening sat General Sherman. That griz zled old veteran was as chipper as a boy of 20. He was surroanded by ladies, as is usually the case whenever he appears in public Perhaps he felt younger than usual on this particular occasion, because the last scene in the poor potpourl opera it "Poor Jonathan" is laid at West Point, and some 40 pretty young women in full cadet regimentals went throngh a series of military evolutions. The scene is from the nater cattery, looking np the romantic Hud son, and is certainly a beautiful as well as a faithful one. No wonder the gallant old General sat the play out, and no wonder be applauded the lovely and well drilled cadets. For it must have reminded bim of bis own youthful career of study and drill ana lovemaking upon that same spot, thongh his companions In arms probably had not the same attractions as these companions in arms. If it didn't make him think or the long and brilliant military career, ot the many trying scenes ot camp and field, the bold campaigns ot strategy and blood, that have Intervened since then, there were those in that crowded house who thought ot it. There isn't another old man in New York, by the way, who enjoys lite equal to old General Sherman. Women at the Hotels. A New Yore paper sent a male and female reporter around to the first, class hotels, the latter in the guise of a lady witbont Daggaee seeking admission as a guest, and ascertained that none of these hostelries would receive a woman unaccompanied by a gentleman. That is, unless they knew who she was. It demonstrated, first, that a woman alone at a public resort is regarded with sus picion; second, that an honest, respectable woman alone in New York is likely to en counter difficulties in securing a resnectablo place to sleep, if not to be subjected to insult, and. third, that the first-class hotels or New York are conducted on the only sare and un questionably proper plan. To receive a woman alone without baggage in a hotel anywhere 13 to jeopardize tho reputa tion of the house and bar it against admittedly decent people. It is especially so in large cities. The respectable hotels of New Y ork aro run on the same plan in this respect adopted by such hotels all over the world. First-class London an Continental hotels will not receive snch guests, baggage or uoj baggage. On general principles it is the correct idea. While it may seemingly work a hardship to a lew it is the protection of the many. In every case where New York hotels do not stringently enforce this rule tbey have gained a reputation to be shunned by every respectable person, male and female. Catering to the NickeL A down-town lunch room is a private mint. The place where you can get all kinds of sandwiches, pie, milk, coffee, etc., for 5 cents and hot stews and other things that go to make up a midday meal for a quarter are well patron ized. Even the high-priced places make money, but it is a conspicuous tact In New York that the men who cater to the nickel do better bnsiness proportionately than those who look after the Almighty Dollar. Nor does it matter much what the business may be. It is tho age of tho Almighty Nickel. Big custom and small profits enable tho dollar to take care of itself. Curiously enough, with tho experience of the proprietors of down-town buifot lunch rooms to stimulate such enterprises, there are no places on upper Broadway where a man can get anything in tho shape ot a simple lunch for even double the money he pays for the same thing down town. Restaurants and , cafes are on every hand up town, but they cater to peo ple of leisure and money. You must sit down and be waited nnon or, rather, yon must wait. Then yon pay 13 cents for an ordinary sand wich that you can bnv almost anywhere down town for 5. And to order a sandwich is to hnrt tho feelings of the waiter. Tho customary tip must be considered in the up-townbilL This tin would buy the lunch in lower Broadway. Plttsburgers in Gotham. P x-Matoe Andy Fuxton is in the city, bar lng ariived recently from Denver. He says he is going back to Pittsburg to live and he expects to gctback in time to take a hand in the campaign. He has taken a bonse on North Highland avenue, opposite Fred Ma gee's, and expects to make it his permanent residence. , ., Mr. Chris L. Maccc'a name appeared on the Fifth Avenue register last week, followed uy that or another well-known Pittsbnrger, "Charles Painter and valet." Charles Book and family, who were at the same hotel for a couple of weeks, have gone home. Charles T. Murray. New York, October 25. CUKI0DS CONDENSATIONS. About 17,000 houses are added every year to London. Sunday is now generally observed ia Japan as a day of rest. The English Channel was never crossed by a swimmer until tho year 1875. The product of an English cow in milk and butter has an average annnal value of JUL The receipts of the French Treasury are larger than those or any other civilized nation. - Dublin is better provided with open spaces than any other town in the United Kingdom. For the first time in 12 years, a ship yesterday left tho port of Montreal for England, In ballast. 4 The noise of the artillery at Waterloo was heard at ereil, 113 miles from the scene of the battle, and also at Dover. In some foreign cities there are men hired to attract a crowd to their employers windows by staring and gazing into them. A law went into effect in Louisiana last Friday requiring the railroad companies to fur nish separate cars for white and colored per sons. According to the scales used in the House ot Representatives, 40,000 Nevada peo ple weigh politically as much as 150,000 New York people. The loveliest summer resort on earth is probably the plateau of Newer Ellia, the "King's Summit," as the natives call it, in the highlands of Southern Ceylon. A single hair can support a weight of two ounces, and is so clastic that it may be stretched to one-third of its entire length, and theu regain its former size and condition. It is said that in New York, there are professional blackeye concealers, where those employed are fullv occupied in painting black eyes with a mixture of white and red paints. Across the water and possibly here, there are men who undertake to make pre tended wormholes in various ohects of furni ture to give them a due appearance of an tiquity. According to Captain Wissman, of the African exploring party, the paradise of birds seems to have been found on the shores of a lagoon commuaicating with the eastern extrem ity of the Albert Nyanza. Hedgebogs are occasionally cannibal istic, the larger ones, when bard up for a din ner, chasing the smaller at a wonderful rate, and devouring them without sauce or mercy when caught and conquered. In Paris there are professional trunk packers who can be hired to pack a trunk ar tistically, lolding expensive gowns and other garments in tissue paper, ana stowing away uelicatu bric-a-brac in the safest uay. The greatest distance ever recorded at which tho sound of cannon has been beard was on the 4lh of December, 1832, when the cannon or Antwerp uere heard in the Erzegeblrge mountains, at aaistance ot 370 miles. The greatest height upward in the at mosphere at which tho sound of cannon has been'heard was 2U.IU0 feet, when Mr. Glaisher at that height over Birmingham, heard the firing of the gnns being proved there. Southwest of Suez a party of French surveyors have discovered the bed of an an cient canal, rnnning for miles in the direction ot the Red Sea, wuicu it seems to have con nected with the basin of the Mediterranean. A citizen of Americus, Ga., owns a dog that "lives on English sparrows, wbich be catches by slyly creeping upon them." In many cities ot the Ohio Valley the progeny or that quadruped would be north their weigutiu gold medals. Among the gallinacea;, the pheasant may be considered "cock of the roost," for be will boldly enter the farmyard, and settle the military-looking barn-door fowl in a trice. Even tue gamecock fares bnt little better, de spite bis superior agility. It is strange how fast American rifles have rid the New World of the larger caroiv ura. Within the last 50 years wolves and bears bave entirely disappeared from hundred of thousands or square miles where they once were as numerous as rabbits. At last they are about to introduce gas into the boys' dormitories at the Rugby school. Up to now, candles, stuck in a rude zinc can dlestick, have been used. Each evening it was the duty ot tue "rag" for the week to blow out the caudle and put the stick outside the door. Of the 32 all-round athletes in a New York club of Ave years ago, three are dead of consumption, five have to wear trusses, four or five are lop-shouldered, and three bave catairh and partial dealness. As far as general health and longevity goes, the drygoods clerk outdoes the athlete. Veteran seamen agree that, the iceberg crop ol the present summer exceeds that of any previous year during the latter half of the nineteenth century. Their theory u that the whole mountain cnalns of Arctic ice must bare been set adrift by the almost unprecedented mildness of the last winter. The Brazilian Government has repeat edly offered a liberal reward lor a plan result ing in the abatement ot the vampire plague, which, in the provinces or Matto Grosso and Enter-Rios makes stock raising almost impos sible. AS many as 0 ol the winged bloodsuck ers often attack-a cow in a single night. Among curious professions are artificial ear and nose-maker9,prayer-makers,leg-stretch-ere, salad-mixers, knockers-np, and fourteenth men. The latter class are much in demand in Paris, to meet the awkwardness of having thir teen guests to dinner, of which they are very superstitious; the fourteenth man is always ready to atteud at a moment's notice. The "Seven Ages of Man" were de picted by Japanese artists long before they be came famous in Shakespearian recitations in this country, and perhaps oefore Shakespeare was born. On the walls of a great tea store In New York City, whicli has branches in Hong Kong and Shanghai, hang a Series of Japanese pictures illustrating the seven picturesque pe riods of man's existence. An Austrian impressario, who has im ported whole galaxies of Oriental stars, holds that Japan excels in acrobats, and Hindostan in Deast tamers, but tnat China stands unriv alled for sleight-of-hand tricksters of the mys terions and incomprehensible kind. The magi cians ot the Flowery Kingdom seem to form a special guild, and transmit their trade secrets from generation to generation. SMILES AND DEttPLES. Old Jarrock Quare thing that gas is, fer sure! Fust. 1 blowed it aout, and when I struck a match to find what the smell wua dashed ef it didn't blow me aout! Belford,s Magazine. He Will yorf be mine? She Ask papal He Confound It! Idon'twant to marrypapa! What have you got to say? Boston Traveller. A bootblack, smoking the end of a cigar he has just picked np. Is accosted by a comrade with. "Jim what kind of a cigar Is that?" Boblnson Crusoe." 'Why d'yer call It that'" "Cause It's a cast-away." Spare Moments. A well-known actor had a horror of street music On one occasion the "waits " played be fore his house at midnight, and waited on him the next morning. Tncv were ushered into his room. "Well," said the actor, "what do yoa want?" 'We played before your house last night," said the musicians. v "Iheard yon." was the reply. "We have come foronrllttlegratnlty,," said the melodious Invaders. Why, bless me." said the sufferer, 'Ithought you came to apologize!" -Spare Moments. Mr. Yonngmau (after long thought) Is there any way to find out what a woman thinks of you, without proposing? Mr. Benedict (absently) Yes; make her mad. Good -Veto. "What bnsiuess are you now in, Tabs ley?" I'm in the stationery, fancy and notion trade." ? ? ? Yes. Wheneverl geta notion to go toworkl fancy It won;t pay: so I remain stationary. Com-prcnez-vous?" American Stationer. Kemeraber, boys, that even a harbor light can' t be going out nights without making a signal failure in the end. Elmira Uazttte. Jack A friend in need is a friend in deed. Tom Um ye-es If he doesn't need too much. Sew York Herald. Best man (to Chicago groom) Is every thing ready? Groom I think so. 'Got the ring?" Yes." All right. I have the llccu.c and the applica tion for dlVorce. Let the ceremony proceed." , Sew York Sun. The world owes every man a living, bat it Is a debt that be has to hustle to collect. Boston, ', Traveller. -.,!.