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3?HE HTTSBTTRGI- DISPATCH, WEDNESDAY. OCTOBER 15, 1890.
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PITTSBURG. 'WEDNESDAY. OOP. 15, 1S90.
GOV. CAMPBELL'S rLCCKX ATTITUDE.
The message of Governor Campbell to the
Ohio Legislature puts that official on a
platform which he can well afford to main
tain, although the position of the .Legisla
ture in the matter is not quite so comfort
able. The Governor points out that not
withstanding the pledges of the Democratic
platform, the Legislature last -winter failed
to place the election of the governing boards,
or commissions, of Cincinnati in the hands
of the people of that city; that this failure
has resulted in corruption; and that it is the
dutj of the Legislature, for which it is
called together, to vest the election of the
hoards ic the hands of the voters of the city
at the coming November election.
The position that the people of a city
should be left to choose their own rulers is a
strong one, and it is given additional
strength by the circumstances which have
led the Governor to call au extra session of
the Legislature. If the people of a city are
careless or weak enough to elect a dishonest
city government they must bear the burden
of the dishonesty They invite it. If
their own interest will incite them
to demand honesty and integ
rity in the management of their busi
ness they are entitled to the power to en
force their demand. The right of self gov
ernment was taken away from Cincinnati
on the plea that it produced corruption; but
when the result of government by appointed
joards is shown to have resulted in the
most unblushing dishonesty, the last vestige
of the argument against trusting cities with
the election of their own officers is swept
away.
Governor Campbell's frank and outspoken
declaration that the right to govern its own
affairs must be returned to the city of Cin
cinnati will command the approval of fair
minded people generally. But his course is
likely to have a wider effect than the merely
local one. The political leader who has the
boldness and independence to expose and
prevent corruption in his o wtt party, will
astract the support and applause of all inde
pendent minds.
AS TO A SEW PAliTT.
Mr. Powderly has taken a sensible stand
in regard to the creation of a new party by
which the Knights of Labor as an organiza
tion may obtain political recognition. He
does not wish for a new party, and does not
believe that labor would be essentially
served by its formation. By the full ex
ercise of their political powers as individuals
or as members of the great parties already
in existence the Knights of Labor have the
same chance as any other citizens of this
Republic to hew out their destiny. Knights
of Labor, and all citizens in fact, can
get what they want from Democrats or Re
publicans by enforcing their demand at the
polls. The sportsman who prefers to set
aboutmaking a fowling piece to suit his
own particular fancy does not ba as many
birds as the fellow who fires with the best
weapon at hand. Mr. Powderly thinks
that the Knignts ought to use one of the
guns already in the field, but he has asked
them to express their views on this subject.
SOT SO IGNORANT, PERHAPS.
The statement of the Republican organs
that the people of New Mexico had rejecttd
a Constitution providing for free public
schools, may have had some fonndation in
fact; but, according ti allegations which come
from that distant Territory, the free school
provision was not the only thing that was
rejected. It is stated that the Constitution
was trained so as to lodge all power in the
Legislature. The Go ernor and Lieutenant
Governor were made subject to suspension
before trial in cases of impeachment, and a
bare majority ot a quorum is sufficient for
their removal. The Legislature was given
the appointment of Supreme Court Judges,
and the revenue provisions of the Constitu
tion, were shaped in the interest of the cor
porations. A New Mexico paper asserts
that they would make it necessary to raise
monev mainly bv taxation on "articles and
occupations."
This statement is quite important in view
of the assertions that the people of New
Mexico are lackinc in the intelligence re
quired for statehood. It seems to be quite
possible that they developed the intelligence
required to reject a Constitution which was
drawn up in the interest oT corporations and
political manipulators. The Constitution
having been rejected by the people, and. the
Territory rejected by Congress, that matter
seems to be pretty well buried for the present
But it would be interesting to learn what
influence presided over the framing of that
remarkable document.
SHOULD SIZE UP TO THE SITUATION.
To-day the officers and directors of the
Pennsylvania Railroad start upon their ad
nual trip of inspection from Philadelphia.
They will pass a couple weeks examining
the several thousand miles of road undar
their jurisdiction in this and adjacent
States. "Whatever may be said of its policy
in some particulars, the Pennsylvania road
is certainly one of the best and safest roads
in the world. The managers can look with
pride upon that fact. But, even with its
vast resources and undoubted energy, there
are evidences that the great Pennsylvania
corporation has been exceeded in the growth
of its facilities for business by the growth
o.f country that it serves. The same is true
of pretty nearly all the railroads in those
States where industrial activity is greatest.
"While shortage of freight cars and delays
of freight transportation become at seasons
chronic, in place of occasionally, this is
clearly proven.
At the rate of expansion in our own dis
trict, the relation of present railroad facili
ties to the business to be done is like that of
an old euit of clothes to a boy who has far
outgrown it. "We hear every year from Mr.
Roberts and his party flattering testimony
of our local developments and roseate views
of the future. Our manufacturers and mer
chants would be glad to have assurance this
year that the Pennsylvania management
proposes to size up to the situation its offi
cers so graphically describe.
SINKING FUNDS AS A STATE ISSUE.
The question of the investment of sinking
funds is assuming a sudden prominence
before the public. On Monday the manage
ment of the sinking funds of this city was
brought up in the local courts, at nearly the
same time Mr. Hensel introduced in his
campaign arguments as an interesting
sequel to what has been already said about
the State deposits, almost exactly the same
issue with regard to the investment of the
funds of the State.
The basis of the argument with regard to
the city sinking fnnds regardless of what
inspires it is that the money ought to be
invested in interest-bearing securities in
stead of lying idle in the banks. This argu
ment is exactly that adopted by Mr. Hensel
with the additional backing that in its
application to the State funds that course is
required oy the statute. The law requires
that all the money in the sinking fund of
the State, in excess of $500,000, must be
invested in securities either of the State or
of the United States. Mr. Hensel makes
this a very pertinent issue in the campaign
by the practical assertion that in the man
agement of the State funds both the business
principle and the statutory requirement
have been icnorcd. In that connection he
states some facts that are equally pertinent
and well established.
When Governor Pattison became Gov
ernor in 1883, be found the amountof 2,796,
041 in the State sinking funds deposited in
various banks throughout the State. This
was a violation of the statute just referred
to, as to the whole of it in principle and as
to $2,296,000 so far as the letter of the law
was concerned. The fight which the Gov
ernor waged to force the investment of that
fund will be remembered by all whose mem
ories are not conveniently short. The result
of that conflict was that the money was used
in the purchase of bonds with a gain to the
sinking fund of about 250,000. The perti
nence of the issue is shown by the produc
tion of figures indicating the money now de
posited in various banks to be 2,462,383.
Of this sum nearly 52,000,000 is held there
in violation of the statute. Under Pattison
the money in the sinking fund was never
allowed to exceed the legal limit of 5500,000.
The loss to the State by permitting the ex
cess over that amount to remain with the
favored State depositories, is, at the rate in
dicated by the quotation on the 5 per cent
State bonds, nearly 58O.O0J per annum.
These fignres may suggest to Mr. Dela
mater and his organs the necessity of strictly
respecting the constitutional provision
concerning the management of the State
funds. If members of the Legislature are
permitted to enjoy the profits of State funds
deposited in their banks, they are not likely
to insist on the carefnl fulfillment of the
statutory requirement as to the investment
of the sinking funds. "With regard to Mr.
Delamater, the records do not present any
evidence that he called as member of the
Legislature for the investment of that part
of the sinking fund which was held in his
bank.
The agitation of this question bids fair to
be extremely beneficial from the unanimous
trend of opinion in the same direction. One
group of Republican politicians are em
phatically insisting that the city sinking
funds should be used for the purchase of
bonds. The opposing group will be equally
prompt to agree that the State funds should
be employed in the same manner, as
required by law. The fact that this con
viction is borne in mind upon each side, most
powerfully as regards the funds controlled
by the other side, does not lessen the
significant harmony on both sides. "With
this universal agreement that sinking funds
must be invested instead of being kept idle
in banks, we shall hope to see about
53,000,000 of public funds used for the pur
chase of interest-bearing securities, with an
advantage to the public of from 5100,000 to
120,000 annually.
COMPETITION IN COAL.
The purchase of a large tract of gas coal
lands in this vicinity by the Pittsburg, Pair
port and Northwestern Docs: Company, of
which the porticular3 may be read else
where, has a significance perhaps that is
not upon the surface. It is upon coal gas
that Pittsburg manufacturers are likely to
fall back in the event of a scarcity of the
natural fuel gas, and healthy competition
in the mining of gas coal, of which this
transaction is said to be indicative, will be
advantageous to consumers in this region.
AN INSTRUCTIVE SETTLEMENT.
A statement is made in a recent issue of
the Philadelphia Ledger, of the results of
au experiment begun eight years ago, which
contains a great deal of instruction and in
formation on matters of national interest.
The experiment is that made by a colony of
Russian Hebrews near Yineland, K. J., and
it at once illustrates the value of small
ownership in land, suggests the remedy for
the depression of agriculture in the Eastern
States, and disproves the oft-heard state
ments that the Hebrews will not become
owners and cultivators of the soil.
In 1882 the Hebrew relief committees of
London, Paris anfl New York purchased a
tract of wild land near Yineland 1,100 acres
in extent On this land two hundred
families of Russian Hebrews, driven out
by persecutions from their native land have
been located, the land being sold to them
in 15 acre tracts with small houses
costing about 150 each. The land
had to be cleared, the settlers were
unused to farming, and were even unable to
communicate witn the people around them.
Everything that would seem to foreordain the
experiment to failure was present; but ex
actly the opposite result has been accom
plished. After the lapse of eight years the
wild and uncultivated tract has been con
verted into a section filled with well-tilled
fields, orchards and vineyards; the little
shanties have been replaced by improved
buildings, and the colonists who were al
most penniless at the start have not only
paid for the land sold to them at first on
credit, but have in many cases bought addi
tional land from the neighboring farmers.
Of course these results are largely to be
credited to the industry and frugality of the
colonists, and in that connection they re
fute the old idea that the race traditions of
the Hebrews prevent them from becoming
holders and cultivators of the land. But
apart from that it demonstrates some im
portant points. First among them is the
fact that the industry and frugality of the
poorest people is given the best opportun
ity by permitting them to become small
land holders, and that the greatest prosper
ity is secured by the subdivision of territory
among the greatest possible nnmber of culti
vators. "When tbis land was in a single tract of
1,100 acres it lay barren and useless." "When
It was divided up among the poorest and
most unskilled cultivators in tracts of 15
acres each, the process was begun of turn
ing it into a most productive garden spot
This carries with it the perception of the
other point, that the depression of Eastern
farming can be most thoroughly cured by
securing that close and thorough cultiva
tion, most surely attained by dividing up
the land among small cultivators. "When
a family must support itself on 15 acres of
ground it will not try to do so by raising
wheat and corn in competition with the
"Western prairies, as too many Pennsylvania
farmers are doing now. It will try to get
the full productive value out of the land by
turning it in gardens and orchards. Under
such a system the farm of 100 acres now re
quired to sustain a family may sustain half-a-dozen
in almost equal comfort
The deduction is evident that the effort
should be in the direction of dividing up
lands instead of permitting the concentra
tion of large landed estates. It is worth
while to note also that for the settlement of
such small farms, even assisted immigrants
may make the largest addition to the wealth
of the country, provided it brings with it
the qualities ot industry and frugality.
OUR PLACE IN THE CENSUS.
An official list of the 35 cities of the
United -States having oyer 75,000 inhab
itants shows Pittsburg to be the thirteenth
in point of population,, but the twelfth in
the increase during the past ten years;
while Allegheny is the twenty-eighth in
population and twenty-third in growth.
There is some reason to believe that if
Pittsburg had been given her full popula
tion she would have had the tenth place in
population, exceediug Cleveland, Buffalo
and New Orleans, which are ahead of her
by the list as it now stands. Accepting the
census figures, however, the fact remains,
that if Pittsburg and Allegheny had been
one municipality, the population would
have been 343,440, and would have stood
above San .Francisco and Cincinnati in ad
dition to the other cities already named.
SIR. CORE'S LETTER.
The letter which Rev. J. Pranklin Core,
of this city, has sent to the Chairman of the
Republican County Committee is a docu
ment that speaks for itself. "Whoever
reads the letter in our news columns to-day
will see that the reverend gentleman's
words need no explanation. It .is a very
positive, uncompromising declaration of
faith, and there must be some very deep
eaated cause for complaint when a man
whose mission is peace has to resort to such
warlike words. If appeals in Mr. Dela
mater's behalf bring forth such answers as
Mr. Core's Mr. Pattison's prayers
doubtless will be for the continuance of the
Republican propaganda.
"The threat of Captain Tillman that
there will be bloodshed if the negro voters at
tempt to vote the Straighout ticket is in keep
ing with his past course," remarks the Phila
delphia Prm. Yet it is only a few months
Fince the JPresa was asserting that Tillman with
that very "past course" was going to be beaten
out of his rights by the lawlessness of South
Carolina politics. The difference is that Till
man was then regarded as an opponent of the
Democracy and is now the regular Democratic
candidate.
The Republican organ are trying to
make a point against Governor Pattison's "par
lor car campaign.'; "This leaves the dear peo
ple io conclude that Mr. Delamater Is traveling
in a Standard oil tank car.
The intimation that some persons in the
Censns Bureau have been furnishing the Demo
cratic campaign managers with statistics favor
able to the Democratic cause, moves the New
York Tribune to remark that "the impropriety
or snch conduct is obvious." Census statistics
favorable to the Republican cause are the only
ones that censns clerks must permit to escape
from custody.
As marriage is a lottery it is proposed by
a Western genius to have the matrimonial
journals excluded from the mails; but it will be
better if they are excluded from both males and
females.
The New York World warns the Demo
cratic National Committee that if they are "re
lying on the gerrymander to defeat the sponsor
of the tariff bill they may wake up after elec
tion and find that tboy have miscalculated."
It might have added that any party which re
lies on a gerrymander to defeat the leaders of
the opposition deserves to make exactly that
discovery.
If the denials keep up with regard to that
Twenty-fifth district bribery, we may yet be
confronted with a doubt whether there was any
nomination made at New Castle.
There may be a disposition to take ad
vantage of the tariff bill to excuse some
increased prices that have no connection with
It The rumored advance In boots and shoes is
a case in point Hides havo been left on the
free list and the duties on leather reduced. If
there is any such advance it will be due wholly
to falling oil in the snoply ot hides.
The election betters are now making
themselves heard: but they keep so cautiously
far apart as to guard against the calamity of
either side losing its money.
The Southside water question is forcing
itself to the front once more. "Without assum
ing to decide the present Issues, it Is plainly
the duty of the city to investigate the com
plaints. If the Southside has not an ample
supply of pure water it is the business of the
city to see that it is supplied, either by the com
pany or from the city's mains.
The deposits of public funds seem to have
constituted the polar-star, to which the com
pass of Senator Delimiter's political career
nointed without deviation.
The success of the manufacture of artifi
cial ice tbis year is construed as indicating
that people need no longer depend on natural
ice for the supply. If the hope were extended
so that they need no longer depend on the pres
ent ice companies for the iltltudlnous prices,
the benefit of the new process would be un
qualified. '
Nulla dies sine linea could be freely
translated this season to read: "No day with
out its rainstorm."
Our esteemed Democratic cotemporaries
who are trying to get up capital against the
new tariff because it increases the cost of cor
sets and high-priced cigars, need to be warned
against surrendering themselves wholly to the
lunacy of campaign silliness.
The liicycle and Better Roads.
From tbo Lancaster Examiner.
THE PITTSBURG Dispatch did a good work
last year by sending a correspondent on a car
riage trip over our public roads and illustrating
their badness. Now the wheelmen are taking
the matter in hand and will further aronse pub
lic attention. All this is wholesome. Already
we have a State Road Commission. The Legis
lature is taking the highway question into con
sideration. Discussion is going on in the pub
lic prints, papers, magazines, etc. Local boards
are agitating the question, and so, while reform
comes slowly, yet It will arrive at last, and then
the next generation will be happier.
DEATHS OF A DAY.
Mrs. Julia Frangle.
Mrs. Julia Frangle, wife of August Frangle,
died suddenly at her residence. Ho. l2Enon alley.
Southside, yesterday.
John Brown. '
Mr. John Brown, aged SO years, and proprietor
of the Bull's Bead Hotel, Second avenu. -died
jvfiiciuar
OUR SHORT STORIES.
SEASONED.
'VXhen the sharp wind was Insinuating sug
gestions of winter yesterday, with hall
stones for punctuations, a couple of young men
stopped before a tailor's window on Sixth
street to look at the display of overcoats.
"Handy thing to have on a day like this,"
said the shorter man, pointing to a silk-lined
cosy-looking coat
"May be but I don't feel the need of it all
the same," said the other.
"Don't need it?'
"No and I don't expect to this winter either."
"Has your constitution got so almighty
rugged?"
"No but Fve been playing base ball for a
living all summer, and a little thing like a cold
day don't affect me a morsel."
A SHOCKING AFFAIR.
The Ladies' Aid Society met at Sister
Green's on Thursday afternoon. The at
tendance was good. As luck would have it the
pastor's wife had a sick headache, so she
couldn't come. Mrs. Findout had a splendid
opportunity to discuss a subject that was on
her mind. When she had anything on her
mind it bothered her terribly until she got It
off.
Well, she had overheard a conversation be
tween her husband and the pastor, and she
thought It was a subject for investigation.
"Now, I allow, sisters, that we'uns ought to
look inter this matter. I heerd Pastor Jinkins
declare that he had something shocking in his
study. Said my man: 'What is it, pastor; a
krutser sonnatterr Said the pastor, 'No,'
says he, and then he laft, and whispered some
thing to the deacon, and he laft and winked at
the pastor."
All the sisters dropped their quilting needles
and listened with open-eyed wonder.
"Now, I don't know what a sonnatter is. It's
no good, I'll warrant. But it warn't a son
natter. Says I to myself, says I, I'll find out
what that is if Hive, and so I will. Youuns
can do as you like, but I'm not going to submit
to such goings on."
A resolution was placed on the minutes, pre
ceded by a preamble declaring that as a con
servator of morals the pastor should be in
all respects exemplary. Sisters Findout Per
rett and Weasel were appointed a committee
to wait on the pastor's wife and warn her of
coming danger. If possible they were to gain
admittance to the study and to try and discover
the shocking thing, whatever it might be.
No time like the present argued Mrs.
Weasel, so off the committee went They were
to report in one hour's time.
The pastor's wife had her head tied up with
a bandage, which emitted the odor of camphor
and vinegar. She looted very sad, and well
she might, thought the committee, with such a
husband as she had to live with.
The three ladies each implanted a kiss of
sympathy upon the fevered cheek of the weary
pastor's wife. They sat in silence a few mo
ments, when Mrs. Findout began to shed a few
silent tears.
"What is the matter, Sister Findout?" gently
inquired Mrs. Jinkins.
Nothing bnt tears. The whole committee
shed them.
"Oh. do tell me. Surely nothing has hap
pened to my husband? What is the matter?
Speak, at once."
"Ab, poor dear," began Mrs. Findout "We
air appintcd a committee to see you about a
matter that affects us all. You hev our sym
pathy, Mrs. Jinkins. Am I not right sisters?
I know we all feel lor her."
"Certainly we do," replied the others In
chorus.
"That which affects a pastor's life affects his
flock. When the shepherd goes astray the
sheep are very apt to follow. Guess I'm right
Sisters?"
"Most certainly," they Teplied.
"One cannot see one's pastor dragged down
Into the bottom of the bottomless pit of temp
tation and stand idly by with folded hands and
see him and his family disgraced and humili
ated, to say nothing of the cause he represents.
It wouldn't be right Sister Jinkins."
"No, indeed, but why this suspense 1 Obi do
tell me. What has happened ? I must know
at once."
"Well," said Sister Findout "to make along
story short, my man and your'n were talking
t'other day, and your'n said to mine, says he,
I've something shocking In mystuay.' Says
my man to your'n. 'Is It a sonnatter ?' 'No,'
says your'n, and then he whispered something
to my man, and they both laf r."
During tbfs recital Mrs. Jinkins turned first
ashy white, and then a deep crimson. There
were tears Id her eyes, and there was laughter
around her mouth. As she wiped a tear away
from one eye, a smile crept in Its place, and it
was a game of hide and seek Detween them.
The committee looked at each other, crossed
their hands and hunted for their cambrics.
"Poor thing!"
"Follow me," said the pastor's wife, as
she led the way upstairs into the pastor's
study. The committee stowed their hand
kerchiefs, straightened out their aprons and
followed. No need to describe the preacher's
study. He was a kind of a genius, fond of ex
periments of a scientific character. Among
other things he had a chair so arranged that
when anybody sat down In it and placed their
hands upon the arms an electric current was
formed which gave quite a shock to the sitter.
"Take a seat. Sister Findout You will find
this a comfortable chair."
Wearily the chairwoman of the committee
took her seat No sooner had sho done so than
she sprang from it, upsetting Mrs. Weasel and
Mrs. Ferrett both of whom were ladies of con
siderable dimensions In circumference and
perpendicularity.
"Oh, merciful heavens, what's the matter? '
moaned Mrs. Weasel.
Mrs. Ferrett was trying to recover her
breath, of which Mrs. Findout had deprived
her when she made her sudden spring. The
pastor's wife went into the adjoining room
ostensibly to moisten her headache bandage,
but really to toss herself upon her bed. In fear
of apoplexy from suppressed laughter.
No one but the members of that committee
ever discovered the truth, and they came to the
conclusion that the flock ought not to mistrust
the shepherd. As tor tnem, tney woum never
countenance any idle gossip about the pastor
again. On motion, the preamble and resolu
tions were expunged from the minutes by
mutual consent
THE ROBBER FALL.
The clouds were pitiful they wept
To see the flowers fade:
Their tears fell freely as they swept
Above the leafy Blade.
And then the boist'rous western wind,
Of winds the very clown.
Among the branches danced and dinned
And shook the red leaves down.
With tears at first, then windy wiles,
Doth Fall rob hill and dale;
Death's sword shines through her sunny smiles
'the keen October galel H. J.
EVERYBODY SATISFIED.
A LEAN, tall man, with his trousers tucked in
his boots, and several other unmlstake-J
able signs of rusticity about him, slammed a
dollar down before the ticket seller at the Alle
gheny Cyclorama yesterday, and said: "Want
tersee yer show; has the play begun?"
"You're in good time," said the ticket seller.
"Then givo me a good seat down front, where
1 kin see the hull showl"
"There's the best In the house," said the
ticket seller, banding out an admission ticket,
and remarking as the countryman walked
away contented: "Life's too short to give a bill
of particulars with every ticket sold."
POOR OLD IRELAND.
Land of green grasses, damp bogs and morasses
Where Liberty lies all enfettered In chains.
Land of brave boys and ruddy cheeked lasses,
Columbia notes all thy sorrows and pains.
A wall from old Ireland, comes over the mire
land. Comes over the ocean so boundless and free,
To her sons who have left the old sod and the sire
land, The prayer of the hungry to you and tome.
While landlords are scheming and bailiffs are
plotting.
ETlcting the mothers and fathers so gray,
Potatoes are rotting, happiness blotting,
The food of the nation Is going to decay.
Shall father or mother, or sister or brother,
Uo hungry to bed In their cabins so cold.
While we as a nation are blessed as none other,
While food can be purchased for silver and
gold?
Let us up and he doing: the green isle of beauty.
The gem of the ocean from over the main,
Looks to us once more 'tis the roll call of
duty,
We've helped her before and we'll help her
eroro and we'll help her
John W. Jtoonr.
, October U, i J
again.
MaaHrainsr.. cox.
A DOUBLE CELEBRATION.
"Wedding and Silver Wedding at One Time
Other Somewhat Similar Affairs A Do
nation Reception, and Other Social Af
fairs, Past and to Come.
A wedding and a silver wedding were cele
brated last evening at the handsome new home
of A. P. Burchfleld, Negley avenue, East End,
and to witness the ceremonies and enjoy the
gaiety assembled a large number of fashionable
people from ail parts of the city. The bride
was the pretty daughter of the home. Miss
Henrietta Burchfleld, and the groom was Mr.
George Craig, well known In business circles
and equally well known in the social circles of
the city.
The all-Important words that united the two
young people wero spoken at 7 o'clock by Rev.
Dr. McMillan, and until 8:30 o'clock Mr. and
Mrs. Craig monopolized the attentions and
congratulations of the company. At that time
Mr. and Mrs. Burchfleld, the parents of the
bride, became equal sharers in the attention1; in
honor of their twenty-fifth wedding anni
versary, which they celebrated with a recep
tion, being assisted by their daughter, Miss
Emma.
The newly-made bride was attired in a be
witching creation of white faille with elaborate
trimmings of duchesse lace and with the long
veil, white gloves, and white roses was a charm
ing picture., i The bride of 25 years' standing
was attired In a silver eray faille with appro
priate silver ornaments fashioned to display to
advantage her admirably rounded and per
fectly proportioned flgnre. The attendants for
the real wedding were Miss Emma Burchfleld,
who performed double duty, attending both
her sister and assisting her mother, and who
was gowned In Nile green India silk, and tiny
Misses Marv P. Burchfleld and Florence Brace,
who, with Kate Qreenaway costumes, garnished
with lace, and baskets of anemones, were suit
able flower maidens for the youthful bride.
The ushers were Mr. Pressly T. Craig, a
brother of the groom, and Mr. Albert H.
Burchfleld, a brother of the bride. Gernert's
Orchestra lent the charms of its sweetestmnslc
to tbo duo wedding, and Messrs. John B. fc A.
Murdoch had previously done most effective
work in tho way of decorations, by the lavish
use of hot house flowers and rare tropical
plants. Caterer Kuhn served the refresh
ments. "WEDDED AT CHRISPS CHTTBCH.
Miss Jennie Abbott Becomes the Bride of
Franklin TV. BearL
The joyous strains of tho wedding march is
sued from Christ's M. E. Church, last evening,
and proclaimed the wedding of Miss Jennie
Henrietta Abbott daughter of Mr. W. S. Ab
bott of the firm of Hopper Brothers & Co.. and
Mr. Franklin W. Bear, a young gentleman who
occupies a position in the Superintendent's
offlco of the Baltimore and Ohio Railroad. Tho
ceremony was performed at 7 o'clock. Rev. Dr.
Odbam officiating. The bride, a lovely blonde,
was charmingly gowned in white corded silk,
with V-sbaped bodice and long train, over
which fell, in graceful folds, the wedding veil
that was fastened to the hair with exquisite
pearl pins. She wore suede gloves of white,
and carried white rose', and was attended by
Miss Birdie Babst, of East Liverpool, as maid of
honor, who was very prettily attired
in a delicate bine silk, trimmed with rosettes of
blue siln ribbon. The brldemaids were Misses
Cora Webmer and Lily Anderson, of Cleveland,
both in sweetly pretty costumes of pale pink
silk, draped with silk tulle. The stalwart
groom had for his best man Mr. W. Clifton
McCausland, and the ushers were Messrs.
George Wagoner, John Horner, W. E. Ester
line and Mr. Zimmerman.
Following the services at the church was a
reception at the Abbott residence, on Lacock
street, where congratulations were tendered
Mr. and Mrs. Bearl before they departed on
their wedding trip, that will include manv of
the Eastern cities. They will be "at home" to
their friends November 6, at 167 Lacock street.
AN ALLEGHENY WEDDING
That is to Take Place at 8:30 To-Morrow
Evening.
One of the charming homes of Allegheny,
at the corner of McClure avenne and the Now
Brighton road, is jnst at present in the de
lightful state of anticipation and commotion
that precedes a wedding in the family. The ar
rangements are nearly completed, and the sug
gestive packages and boxes containing tributes
prompted by the love and esteem of the large
circle of friends of the bride and groom-elect,
have already begun to arrive, as the event is
to be celebrated to-morrow evening.
The young lady who is about to plight her
troth is Miss Minnie L. Myers, daughter of Mr.
and Mrs. John L. Myers, and the young gentle
man who will figure conspicuously as leading
man is Mr. J. L. Chapman, a rising young busi
ness man of Franklin. Rev. Dr. White, rector
of St Andrew's Episcopal Church, will offici
ate, and the time of the ceremony will be 8.30
o'clock. The bride will be attended by Miss
Ella Stanton, of Buffalo, and guests to tho
number of 100 will witness the ceremony and
participate in the accompanying festivities.
AN ENJOYABLE OBGAN RECITAL
Given Last Evening in the Park Avenne
Presbyterian Church.
Lovers or music enjoyed the concert and
organ recital, given last evening in the Park
Avenue Presbyterian Church, the occasion
being the inauguration of the new grand
organ. The programme was an excollent one,
and was rendered by some of the best talent
the city affords. Miss Agnes Vogel and Miss
Fraser were the vocal soloists of the evening,
and did not belle tbeir reputations as charming
singers. Mr. Henry Eyre Brown, organist of
Talmage's Brooklyn Tabernacle", was the
organist of the occasion, assisted by local
organists, among them Miss Acnes Liddel, who
is a young lady of marked ability and thorough
training, and whose mission it will be in the
future to evolve the sacred music from the big
organ which sho so successfully bandied last
cvenintr, as she holds the position of organist
in the Park Avenue Church.
Holding a Donation Reception.
Cream cake, coffee and chocolate the "four
Cs" will be served by the lady managers of the
Young Men's Free Reading Room, No. 298
Beaver avenne, Allegheny, at tbeir donation
and reception to-morrow afternoon and even
in w from 3 to 10 o'clock, at which it is hoped
the friends of the enterprise will appear in
large numbers. The Reception Committee
will include Mrs. S. Gibson, Mrs. McConuell,
Mrs. George Shaw, Mrs. Donaldson, Mrs. Tho 8.
Benner, Mrs. A. Y. Patterson, Mrs. R. H. Gilll
ford, Mrs. 1. M. Patterson, Misses Jean Mar
shall, Sarah Hamll and Netta Trimble. '
A Double "Wedding at St Michael's.
The double wedding in St Michael's Catholic
Church yesterday morning was a very interest
ing affair. The two couples were Miss Agnes
Long, who married Mr. William Engle. and
Miss Philomena Langenbaker, who married
Mr. Albert Ploger. all well known in the social
circle of the Southside. High mass was cele
brated by Fathers Christopher and Bernard.
Improved Their Acquaintance.
At the Wllkinsbnrg M. E. Church, last even
ing, a reception was given 'to the pastor. Rev.
J. F. Core, by the Jadies of the congregation.
There werevrefreshments and pleasant chat,
and the result of the occasion was just what
was desired a better understanding and ac
quaintanceship among the members of the
church.
"Will be Interesting.
An interesting entertainment will be given
to-morrow evening in the Allentown Turner
Hall, by the Elito Lodge. I. O. O. F. A musical
and literary programme will be presented, in
cluding recitations by Miss Kitty Hamm, one
of the most gifted and promising pupils of
Prof. B. W. King.
Social Chatter.
A qnAiuilNO home wedding last evening at
the residence of Mrs. Thos. Irwin, 189 Juniata
street Allegheny, united Miss Gertrude Jenk
ins, a'talented young lady of Allegheny, and a
sister Of Mrs. Irwin, to Mr. Otto Zeckles, of
Cleveland, O. The ceremony was witnessed by
a few friends and relatives, who extended con
gratulations to Mr. and Mrs. Zeckles before
they departed for their future home in Cleve
land. At 8 'o'clock last evening the words were
spoken that made Miss Mame Imhoff the bride
of Jtfr. Fank Livingston, of Sewlckley. The
wedding occurred at the residence of the
bride's brother. Mr. Edward W.Imhoff, on Car
yer street1, East End, and, though rather pri
vate, was aVery pretty affair.
The second of the series of lectures and
recitals giveh by Mr. Etbelbert Nevln at the
residence of Jjrs. Walter McCIlntoclt, of Ridge
avenue, yesterday afternoon, was very enjoy
able and thoroughly appreciated by the cultured
assemblage that listened to tho talented
Bostonlan.
THE Cochrane-Rlchle wedding this evening.
Miss Ella Mcuomb, of Hazel wood, will be
married to-day to Mr. Seward H. Augustine, at
the residence of herWrents, Hazelwood.
No German Sympathy for Portugal.
BT DUSLAF'sWaBLS COUP ANT.
Bebiht, October If Portucal has made a
final futile effort to enlist the sympathy and In
fluence of Germany against 'England in the
treatvand negotiations now pending between
LUOlaTHirCgHHMT HgM f 'frl-"fci-JT
SNAP SHOTS IN SEASON.
Prrr and advice cost nothing. Tbis is why
both are so freely given.
Dm yon ever go to bed well and wake up ill?
Yesterday healthy, bright buoyant cheerful,
hopeful: to-day sick, peevish, dull, pain
punished, miserable the whole organism dis
organized in a few hours. Congratulate your
self heartily if you have missed this experi
ence. Illness of this sort is truly depressing.
It steals into your system while you sleep and
wakes you rudely. A-chlll, a pain, a throb
here, a twinge there, an overpowering sense of
helplessness which completely strips you of
physical force by its suddenness. No warning,
no signal of distress a swift slipping from
health to sickness, a sudden jump from
the sunshine of yesterday into the shadow of
to-day. it's hard to realize how such a change
In our physical self can be wrought in so lew
hours a metamorphosis complete, mysterious.
You fight against it. The will is used as a
lever to move the broken machinery, bnt mind
will not triumph over matter now. So you are
forced to await a diagnosis. You're off the
track sure enough, and medicine, that jack
screw of science. Is sought to put you on the
rall3 again. The doctor marvels at the sudden
attack upon your system. Of course, there's a
cog loose somewhere. So he looks you over.
Then it strikes you as rather qneer that yester
day you were consulting your wi3hes and to-day
you are consulting your doctor. He feels
pulse, looks at tongue, takes temperature,
peeps into eye, closely quizzing you all the
while to find out whether you violated a
natural law yesterday and must pay the penalty
to-day. His words of cheer are comforting,
and, if you have faith in his medicine, yon feel
better. The pain seems to grow milder, the
fever does not burn so fiercely, the parched
tongue becomes well oiled you are geared up
by the powders and comforted by the consul
tation. But there you lie, bound while you
slept by the invisible, stealthy robber of health
and destroyer of life yesterday a giant, to-day
a helpless babe, to mourn well, who can tell.
Old maids have one thing to be thankful for.
They will never become mothers-in-law.
Now the ministers want to be paid for con
ducting funerals. They have dead-headed the
dead long enough.
People who have no teeth and are too poor
to purchase a store set are forced to become
gum chewers.
The thermometer Is falling and the chilly
winds are bawllne
Winter's tip.
Gas bills are growing steeper, soon yon'll have
to wear a creeper,
Or you'll slip.
Mr. Howard intimates that the sinking
fund has been floating some private schemes.
After railroads secure rights of way the
public seems to have no rights they are hound
to respect
Councilman Biqhax says "professional
men worth employing do not answer adver
tisements." You are very much off there, Mr.
Blgham.
The man who makes a motion in an as
semblage generally raises a commotion.
The European Cabinets are exchanging
notes over the new tariff bill. So are the im
porters. Fashion plate, not tin plate, bothers the
ladies. '
The statement of the laundrymen that the
Chinese ironers are driving thera out of busi
ness, will hardly wash. There seems to be
dirty linen enough for all in Pittsburg at all
events.
AIt? TlTJT.A'WA'rT'T? IrAona inHno fnr mftTfl
Evidently he doesn't know when he has
enough.
How would it do to so amend the law as to
require a property qualification for office
holders? He greets you now with captivating smile,
Your hand he'll always take;
But if elected, you can bet your pile,
He'll give you the cold shake.
Returns are beginning to come In from the
open grate and the coal oil can. Change of
season only means change of method in the
casualty line.
It must be anything but pleasant to work for
a person or firm and give up a portion of the
wage to help friends of the employer. But the
Federal office holders come up smiling every
time. Politics even takes the bread out of the
mouths of children nowadays. The evil should
be remedied.
What's the use squealing over tho personnel
of the men chosen to hold positions of trust
after you put them into office. The remady is
in the ballot box. Of course, if there are more
bad than good people In the world, the devil
will win. But there aren't
"When the autumn winds whistle the leaves
dance.
There is more difference in the name than
in the shape of many articles of feminine ap
parel. The grocer can reduce his weight without
changing his diet He merely doctors his
scales.
Mr. Delaxater'S friends hope to smother
the talk about the Billingsley bill by pointing
with pride to the McKinley bill. The last has
been settled, however, and the first is still on
file.
The Exposition oil well shonld now be
worked as a mystery, Shut down until next
year, gentlemen.
When young lovers cease to sigh,
When fond hearts no longer flutter
At the glance of roguish eye
At the words which love can utter;
Then sea tides will cease to flow.
Dry will be the water courses;
All will perish here below
When there be no more divorces.
A Chicago dentist says too much kissing
causes the teeth of Americans to decay. Old
maids must have sound teeth if this is the case.
What some women suffer for fashion's sake
is sad to contemplate. If the clothing of many
could be cut by the family doctor instead of the
tailor life's burdens would be lightened.
A falling sunbeam or a shooting star can
not Injure us.
Don't overload yourself. Carefully adjust
to-day's burden, and let to-morrow's take care
of itself,
Tni3 is splendid weather for catching chills,
colds and rain water.
Strange what trivialities amuse tho aver
age theatrical audience nowadays, An awk
ward walk, a misapplied word, a high kick, a
commonplace song, a catchy melody guarantee
applause, with laughter accompaniment It's
pleasant to know that we are easily amused.
The etiquette of politics demands that yon
write a letter of acceptance, Mr. Delamater.
A HAN will go into a barroom and pull out a
handful of money, but when he goes to church
be flsbes around for a single coin, and not a
very large one at that.
The oratorical prayer comes from the lips,
bnt the prayer offered up in secret comes from
the heart
If the laws of nature were not violated there
would be fewer funerals.
The tariff has put up the price of Sumatra
wrappers. Tho fascinating morning wrappers
worn by the best half of the home are not af
fectedVbowerer. Some candidates lead a ticket to defeat as
well as victory.
Musicians can keep time without carrying
watches. The English soldiers seem to be in tbo sulks,
AU talk and no fight makes them unruly.
the actors and actresses in the plotless plays is
decidedly coarse and closely borders indecency.
Take care, there.
Bailors are not pugilists, but they can box
the compass.
It looked rather odd to see the German Iron
masters who were here last week sitting around
refreshment tables and each settling his own
score. The stuck to the custom of the Father
land closely. Americans might profitably fol
low their example. There is entirely too much
treating here.
A watch is always on the go, even if it is
chained.
Sullivan is, a living example of successful
strikes.
Dress does for women what rum does for
men. It trips them up.
Trouble, like policemen, comes In pairs.
Both Congress and the State Legislature will
be in session next January.
Willie Winkle,
LAST WEEK TO VOTE.
Popular Ballots for Exposition "Visitors Dur
ing the Last Six Days.
This is the seventh and last week of the Ex
position. The topical voting pastime in
augurated by The Dispatch will be continued
till the close at its Headquarters, in the com
modious space occupied by the Brunswick-Balk-CollenderBUIiard
Company. All attend
ing the Exposition are requested to vote yes or
no on the topics chosen, registering their votes
in The Dispatch Poll Book, which opens and
closes with the Exposition every day and night
WEDNESDAY'S VOTING TOPIC.
Should Petty Criminals in Jail and Workhouse
be Compelled to Work on the Publlo High
way? Open to Lady and Gentlemen Voters.
ELECTED NEW OFFICERS.
An Interesting Meeting of the Microscop
ical Society Last Evening.
The Iron City Microscopical Society held its
first meeting in its new quarters in the Acad
emy of Science building last night It was the
regular election night, and the membership of
the society was well represented. Dr. Holland
presided, and after some routine business had
been transacted conducted the election for
officers. The following gentlemen were chosen
for the various offices: President George H.
Clapp; First Vice President Prof. G. Gotten
berg; Second Vice President. Colonel T. P.
Roberts; Recording Secretary, Dr. H. DePuy;
Corresponding Secretary, J. F. Henrici; Treas
urer, C. G. Mllner; Curator, H. Walker.
Dr. Holland, upon retiring from the
chair, made a few appropriate re
marks relative to the welfare of
the society and asked the members to make an
effort to have many original papers read before
the society, and to have these papers published
in the proceedings of the societv. Buffalo,
with half the inhabitants of Pittsburg, has a
mnch more widely known microscopical
society, and its proceedings have a high scien
tific value. A nnmber of the other members
expressed themselves to the same effect.
Mr. C. C Mellor gave a very interesting talk
on camera sucidas, and explained their
structure and use, illustrating his talk with a
number of drawings made by Dr. Gage, of
Cornell University. The reports of the secre
tary and treasurer wero read and gave indica
tion that the society is in good condition both
as regards numbers and financially. The mem
bership Is close to 100, and a comfortable bal
ance is on hand in the treasury.
The rest of the evening was spent in examin
ing various microscopical specimens, books,
and in inspecting the new and commodious
quarters.
BUTLDEBS OF CARRIAGES.
The Industry Increasing With Enlarged De
mand From Foreign Markets.
CHICAGO, October 11 Battery D presented
the appearance of a church fair, with its gayly
colored booths and stands to-day. The occa
sion was the opening of the eighteenth annnal
convention of the Carriage Builders' National
Association of the United States. Fully 200
carnage manufacturers displayed their wares.
The Executive Committee's repott said that
during the pa3t year over 400 factories, several
of mammoth proportions, have been erected.
Many favorable conditions have presented
themselves during the year just closed that
claimed the attention ot the manufacturers.
An increased demand from foreign markets has
given to the trade a desirable impetus. An
unusual dearth of skilled mechanics and small
margin of profit owing to strong competition,
was one of the unfavorable conditions pre
sented. The technical school recently opened
in New York was reported as being in a flour
ishing condition.
TEE DEAD EZ-SECBETABY,
Honors to His Memory by the War De
partment and Funeral Arrangements.
Washington, October It L. A. Grant,
acting Secretary of War, to-day issued a gen
eral order in view of the death of ex-Secretary
Belknap, that the department be draped in
mourning for 30 days, and suspending business
on the day of the funeral.
The date of tho funeral will not be de
termined upon until after the announcement of
the time at which the funeral services will be
held over the body of the late Justice Miller.
The widow of General Belknap wishes to avoid
selecting the same time as that upon which the
Miller obsequies are to take place, as there are
many persons who desire to attend both
fnnerals. She has determined, however, that
his remains shall be buried In the Arlington
National Cemetery.
CATHOLIC TOTAL ABSTAINERS.
Important Reunion of the Society, in "Which
Pittsburg Clergymen Participate.
rSFIECUt. TELXOBAM TO THX DISPATCB.1
Johnstown, October It Tho Catholic
Total Abstinence Societies of the diocese of
Pittsburg held a reunion in St Columbus
Church here to-day. Father Canevin, of Pitts
burg, was the presiding officer, and in an ad
dress advocated a new departure in favor of
the extension of the Influence of the nnion, by
having a distinctive badge, or medal, worn by
the total abstainers, entitling such persons to
the privilege of the order without their beinz
active members.
Among the prominent priests in attendance
are Father Canevin, of Pittsburg: Father Cos
grove, of the West End, and Father Morgan
M. Sbeedy, of Pittsburg.
ABOUT MEN AND WOMEN.
Joaquin Miller, it is declared, writes the
'worst hand in the United States.
Senor Castelar, of Spain, is writing a life
of the Saviour, and will soon pay a visit to
Palestine.
Rider Haggard's first book, "Cetewayo
and His White Neighbor," was a complete
failure. He made 10 on his second, "Dawn."
Mrs. Stanley has refused to live in Arrica,
and has persuaded her husband to decline the
Governorship of the Congo, offered to him by
the King of the Belgians.
Miss Sanger, the President's stenographer,
is the first woman to act in that capacity at the
White House. She also fills the position of
private secretary to Mrs. Harrison.
C. P. Huntington's new and magnificent
mansion at the corner of Fifty-fourth street
and Fifth avenue. New York, is to te decorated
with carved heads of tho robber barons of the
Rhine.
George Eliot wrote to a friend after read
ing Cardinal Newman's "Apologia?' "lknow
hardly anything that delights me more than
Buch evidence of sweet brotherly love being a
reality in the-world."
Mrs. Alice Shaw, the American whistler,
has signed a contract .with Fatti's Russian im
presario to give exhibitions in Russia, Ron
mania, Austria, Germany and France, begin
ning in St Petersburg next month.
THE Rev. Calvin Fairbanks, one of the old
anti-slavery heroes, who is still living at An
gelica, N. Y., and who is widely known all over
the country, has written an account of some of
the incidents in his career during the exciting
years preceding the war.
Lord Harttngton once took a favorite
hound with him to Osborne, but the royal at
tendants turned him out of the palace, because
It was the Queen's orders not to allow any dogs
to sleep there. Since then Lord Harttngton
has not slept there himself, when he conld pos
sibly avoid it
AT Mr. McAllister's dinners at Newport last
week Mrs, Belmont was among the guests, and
wore her finest jewels. A ribbon of diamonds
at least an Inch wide encircled her throat, be
low which fell her string of priceless pearls,
with long pear-shaped pendants almost as big
aa pigeon egga , -'
CURIOUS CONDENSATIONS.
The hop crop of Oregon for 1890 is esti
mated at 18,000 bales.
Sanilac county, Mich., has a first-class
jail, but It is without an occupant
An orange measuring a foot in circum
ference has been found in Starke, Fla.
A new daily paper has been started at
Cloverdale, Ky., called The Dairy Girl.
Some 60 convicts are now working on
the tunnel through Pigeon Mountain, Georgia.
A Calhoun, Ga., man has a chair which
he claims Is 115 years old, and has its original
bottom.
The police authorities of Atlanta are
being sued for damages by the owner of a
gaming house, whose "tools of trade" wera
burnt after a raid in 1832.
A miller at Oothcaloga, Ga., found the
wheels In the mill clogged so that they would
not work. After taking 360 pounds of eels out
the wheels turned once more.
A box of Italian rabbits has been re
ceived in Palatfea, Fla. The animals are noted
for the length of their ears, some of them
measuring 18 inches from tip to tip.
Two horses were drawing an express
wagon in Seattle, when they touched an elec
tric wire that had fallen across the street.
Both animals were Instantly killed.
Miss Lou Cochrane, a compositor at
Oregon City, successfully manipulates an en
gine that runs the presses, and thoroughly un
derstands the workings of the machinery to the
minutest detail.
Money deposited in a "cooler" in C. F.
Field's market at Shelton, Conn disappeared
one day last week, but was found In a hole in
the ceiling, where rats had arranged it for a
solt but expensive nest.
In Russia there are 494.228,620 acres of
forests; in Austria-Hungary, 48.952,000 acres; la
Sweeden, 42,010,000 acres; in France, 22.241.000
acres; In Spain, 19.769,000 acres; in Italy, 9,8tH,
672 acres; and in England, 2,471,000 acres.
D. H. McCarty, of Lexington has a dog
which not only trees the 'possums, but climbs
the trees and brings them down. He was seen
to do the like a few nights since, having
climbed 20 feet from the ground up a straight
sapling. I
There are more public holidays in
Honolulu than in any other city In the world.
Among the days observed are Queen Victoria's
birthday, Coronation Day, ail the French and
Portuguese holidays, the American Thanks
giving Day and the Chinese New Year.
Sammy Brazelton was caught in one of
his own bear-traps at Traf ton, Cal., and while
waiting for assistance nearly staved to death.
Postmaster Esterbrook happened along, how
ever, as Sammy was about to faint from
buneer, and released him from his unfortunate
predicament.
Gin Hon, a Chinese merchant of River
side, CaL, is about to return to China to secure
himself a wife, and, in order to be allowed to
land upon his return, be has drawn up a certifi
cate setting forth who he is, and had his photo
graph pasted on the same sheet and had the
different county officials sign the document
On a plantation nine miles from Savan
nah, Ga., a monster rattlesnake was killed last
week. It had charmed a cat and when the
snake wa3 hit with a billet of wood the cat
sprang into the air as though released from an
entbrallment. The snake was shot It
measured 7 feet ana had Zi rattles and a button.
A three hours' drive with a snake was
taken recently by a lady in Ceylon. On getting
out of her carriage she moved the cushions to
find somethiner which had slipped down, and to
her horror discovered a nugh cobra coiled up
underneath. Had not the creature been in a
semi-torpid condition she could not have
escaped alive.
The street car conductors and police use
the same kind of whistles in Bay City. Mich.,
and it creates more fun than a barrel of mon
keys. Every few hours a whistle will sound
and a copper start on"a run In the direction of
the sound, only to learn that some conductor
has been starting the car. It's fun for the
street car folk, but death to the police.
The remains of the Swedish chemist,
Edward Sandstrom, which are said to have
turned to stone after being embalmed in an
undertaker's establishment at Atlanta, have
been taken to Sweden. His young wife, who
came all the way across the Atlantic to take
bis body home, followed it on its wav thither
Wednesday. The strange corpse will be in
terred at Stockholm.
An innovation in the method of hand
ling greea fruit at the port ot New Yoric is
about to be put into practice. The new ar
rangement consists of a steam-heated wharf.
In the past fruit has been landed on the wharf
without regard to the weather, and when the
temperature ranged below the freezing point
great damage resulted. The heated wharf will
be 56x184 feet in dimensions.
Some people have a queer idea of the
function of the Census Bureau. The other day
the superintendent received the following let
ter from Orovllle, Col: "Can you inform me
how I can get on to lnforce the lobster law? I
haf oeen on the police force here five years and
last week was discharged by a rum Bord we
we was put In by a temperans Bord and now
the rum Bord is goin' to have its own way this
year."
E. A. Garland, a "Wisconsin man, has
invented a peculiar clock. It consists of three
egg-shells set on pivots, one to denote the hour,
one the minutes and the other the seconds.
The shells revolves on the pivots without appar
ent mechanism to give them motion. Mr. Oar
land intends making one with glass balls and
banging an incandescent lamp in each ball, so
the clock can bo made to serve as a lamp as
well as a timepiece.
Two 8-year-old boys are in custody in
St Paul for attempting to "crack" a safe.
Stealing a sledge from a blacksmith shop they
entered an office and broke off the handle and
combination of the safe. Here they were
foiled, as they could not devise means forgoing
further. A short time ago one of the boys took
part in a theatrical representation in which
there was a safe-robbery scene. It is thought
that this suggested the action in real life, for
which the lads will probably go to the reform
school.
Several policemen were summoned a
few nights ago in Brooklyn. N. Y., to go to a
house where burglars were reported. Accord
ing to Captain Brpnnan's story, the officers
found the female members of the family as
sembled in the parlor, crying, me neaa oi tne
house was in his room, afraid to come out A
search of the bouse disclosed no trace ot ma
rauders, but it was made clear that the resi
dents had taken alarm at sounds produced by
a creaking screen door. The noise made the
family think that burglars were at work.
BREAKFAST TABLE SMILES.
Tommy 'Judkins Papa, what do they
mean by a selling race? Is anything actually sold?
Judkins Yes, my son, and It Is usually the pub
lic Week's Sport. '
"Did you recognize yonr wife at the mas
querade last night?"
"Not until I patted her shoulder, and she whis
pered to me: 'Lemuel, don't make a fool of your
selCyou old donfcey.' '''Chicago Post.
Mr. Bingo (suspiciously) Tommy, who
were those two boys I saw fighting In the next
alley this morning?
Tommy One of them was Willie Sllmson.
Mr. Bingo And who was the other?
Tommy He got licked. I guess you don't want
to know his name. Hew York Sun.
"In the scheme of creation," said the
religious crank, "woman was an afterthought."
yeth," remarked the lisping imbecile, "and
tshe'sbeen thought after ever thlnth." islng.
hamton Leader.'
Lariat Luke Come, boys, this man ad
mits that he took the horse. Quick, where Is the
hemp?
The ilan Bat I plead extenuating circum
stances. A widow from Kansas City at my station
wanted me to marry her.
Lariat Luke Then why didn't you say o be
fore, instead of raising all this fnsi. Aeio Xork
Sun.
Judge This verdict could not have
been reached on law and evidence.
foreman or Jury No, sir; we Just used com
mon sense.
Judge (promptly)-Overruled and set aside.
Chicago Timet.
"Isn't Jones a Christian Scientist a
believer in the faith cure?"
'He is."
"Is It true that he wouldn't have a doctor for
his wife the other day when she was sick?"
"It is quite true."
"Well. I jaw a doctor go Into the house Just
now."
Ob! that's all right He's sick now himself." '
Cape Cod Item.
First Criminal Hello, Jim! How did
you get out of Jail?
Second Criminal I filed a bar and let myself
oat of a window.
First Criminal But how about your striped
clothes?
Second Criminal Oh, that was all right The
jail Isn't far from a bathing resort and as soon as
1 got down to the beach 1 was all right. They
tookmyciavlctrlzfora bathinr salt Chicago
America.. . i .j.
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