THE nTTSBUBGr DISPATCH, SATURDAY OCTOBER 11, 1890. A WEEK'S READING. A MONSTER MAGAZINE AND A FIRST-CUSS NEWSPAPER. 180 D.SPATCH 160 COLUMNS TC-MORROW COLUMNS WILL BE COMPLETE ALL OVER. READERS WILL GET EVERYTHING TO BE OBTAINED AT HOME AND FROM OVER THE SEA. 20 PAGES THE BEST Oft CONTRIBUTORS AND All CORRESPONDENTS. PAGES HIGH CLASS FICTION. TALES OF TRAVEL AND ADVENTURE. ALLTHESPORTING GOSSIP. LATEST MARKET REPORTS. READ THE CLASSIFIED ADVERTISEMENTS IF YOU WANT ANYTHING. SERVED BY MAIL OR CARRIER. ALL NEWS AGENTS HANDLE IT. jraftt .. ESTABLISHED FEDKUAKY S. 1W3. VoL, Jo.:46.-Fj'ieree" at Pittsburg l'ostofflce. lOTcinbcrH, lsT. as second-class matter. Business OfficeCorner Emithfield and Diamond Streets. News Rooms and Publishing Eouse--76, 77 and 79 Diamond Street EASTER ADVERTIMMi OFFlCfc. KOOJln, TK1BUE BUILDING. NEW YORK, where complete flies of THE DISPATCH can always be lound. Foreign advertisers appreciate the con venience. Home advertisers and friends or THE DISPATCH, while In 2ew lork. are also made welcome. THE DISPATCH is regularly on sale a Brentano's, S Union Square, Seta York, and 11 Arc di V Opera, Pant, France, where any. one uho lias been disappointed at a hotel neirs stand can obtain it TERMS OF THE DISrATCn. ToRtage rnrr " thx united states. JIAII.T Di;rATCir, One Year. f SO0 Daily DiEFATCH, PerQuartcr 100 Daily DisrATCM, One Month t. 70 Daily DisrATCH, lucludingbnndsy. lvear. 3000 Daily Dispatch, includingSunday.Sm'thE. ISO Daily Dispatch, Including bunday. lmonth 90 f cxday DisrATcn, One Year 150 Weekly Dispatch, One Year 115 The Dailt Dispatch is delivered hvcarrlersat llccntscer week, or Including Sunday edition, tiro cents per week. riTTSBUKG, SATURDAY. OCT. 11. 189a MANY WONDKOUS SIGHTS. A great chef 'once said that he always be lieved in making his dinners strong in the center, the course half way down the carte was the keystone. The sight-seeing feast of our visitors from over the sea seems to have have arranged in accordance with the cordon blcu's formula. Yesterday's excursion was well toward the center of the programme aud it was a great one. TJp the Monongo hela in the afternoon of an ideal autumn day nearly a thousand strong they sailed. By no other path could they have obtained a more comprehensive view of the industrial resources of Pittsburg. At the end of the voyage they had the greatest iron and steel works in the world before them. Sir. Car negie himself was there to pilot the visitors through the mare of mechanical wonders of which he stands the chief creator. To complete the impression made at Wild wood a display of natural gas was made at Hays' station by the Philadelphia Gas Com pany, and it is certain now that the Old "World will have to admit the existence and potency of our natural fuel. Tbe day's proceedings were, we may believe, both pleasant and profitable to our guests and all ne hope further is that their appetites for sigEt-seeing are not sated, for the banquet' is only half over, tnough tbe prin cipal part of Pittsburg's contribution to it has been enjoyed. JUDGE MIXXEK'S SEIZURE. Justice Sillier, of tbe United Staies Supreme Court, is not expected to recover from the stroke of paralysis wbich fell upon him suddenly in "Washington yesterday. Tbe loss of this eminent jurist will be deeply felt, for since his appointment to the Supronie Bench by President Lincoln, the country has had abundant reason to admire his integrity and intellect. Moreover, his name will ever be associated honorably with the emancipation of the colored race. THE SEASON TOR KU3IORS. Uot everything in tbe shape of fresh and hot political rumors that will be served out from the headquarters of the conflicting or ganizations between now and Xovember can he absolutely credited. It is not sure, for instance, whether the reports from Philadel phia of the sanguine Cooper being recalled to tbe management of the Republican cam paign can be relied upon, though the ex Chairman has certainly blossomed out lux uriantly in print this week in oracular and semi-official ahjurgatioa of the Inde pendent Republicans. The latest story that Senator Cameron has put $100,000 into the campaign under the hopeful ex-Chairman's special disbursement wonld be sinister if it were not doubtful. It would imply that Mr. Cameron means to take care of the Legisla ture with reference to the re-election to the Senalorship. In tbe hurly-burly over the Governorship the Legislature has been al most forgotten. But as we have said, these large-sized reports may be taken homeo nathicallv. Tin: ritEirENT self-communion. The declaration of Mr. Elam, formerly the partner of President Harrison and Attorney General Miller in their Indianapolis law firm, is placed before the public by the somewhat remote route of a Tacoma news paper, to tbe effect that the President does not contemplate a renomination. In reply to a question whether the President is a candidate. Sir. Elam said, "I do not think so," which by itself would not be as author itative as some publications by the authority of the President himself some time ago. lint it is followed by the further assertion: "In fact, in conversation with the Presi dent, he stated that he would not run again." The grammatical construction of this sen tence, whether it is Sir. Elam's or the inter viewer's, gives the assertion a peculiar in terest The pronoun "he" is the subject of the verb plainly refers to General Harrison; and tbe assertion is made that he made the statement "iq conversa tion with the President" Possibly in talking the matter over with himself, tbe President has recognized that he will not be a candidate for a second term, for the most cogent of reasons. It is evident that this self-communion has been most effective of late, since the two Slaine men have tried to use him as a pawn in the game they are playing against each other. It is pretty well known that the soliloquies of the Presi dent had not led to that conclusion before the battle of the Republican giants commenced; when the immediate entourage of the "White House were putting him in the lists, and the other possible Presidental quantities were getting only large supplies ol cold shoulder in the line a' official sustenance. "While this result of the President's con versation with himself appears to have been communicated to Mr. Elam, it is a pity that it did not also designate tho rising political star that has eclipsed his hopes of last spring. The strained relations between the Speaker and tbe President night indicate whom the latter regards as the candidate who has snuffed out his chances. In that case we may conclude that the Presidental attitude, as regards the main offices, is not due to the fact that he loves Blaine more, but tbat he loves Beed less. LEGITIMATE HUT EXPENSIVE. The organs of the straight Democratic stamp are worked Tip over the discovery of what they regard as a Republican con spiracy, in which Quay, Dudley, Huston and others are engaged. The project under contemplation is to aid the colored people in the South, to move to the close North ern States, such as "West Virginia, Ohio and Indiana, and to find them employment there. The plan was made public by one of the political agents working it up in "West Virginia going on a most variegated spree, and permitting the doenments to get into the hands of Democrats, and the Democrats are virtuously indignant over it. Perhaps when they take a'second thought over it, the Democrats may discover that tbeir outcrv is somewhat misplaced. The scheme, as stated, is to secure the removal of the negroes next year into the States where their votes are wanted, so that they will be legally entitled to citizenship in 1S92. That' necessitates finding steady employment for them. In all this there is not only no in fraction ot law; but there is nothing which is not within the right of any man. In deed, if pursued purely for that motive, it would take rank as practical philanthrophy to aid colored labor to leave the States where it is overabundant and therefore underpaid, for States where it is wanted, and can therefore get better wages. Of course it is not necessary to credit Messrs. Quay, Dudley, Huston and their associates with being actuated by any such unpractical motives as the sole consideration of the benefit of the colored people. The fact that their purpose is to move tbe colored men into donbtful States, and not the States where their labor is most wanted, proves that their purpose is political per haps even selfish. The great dancer of such a project under such management is that the colored people when taken into the new States will be left un cared for aud without work. But if that were done, the plan wonld defeat itself. Tbe negroes would become a floating element without any settled citizenship, and when the Republican managers wished to vote tbeir imported citizens, tbey could not find them. The plan being one, therefore, which to secure success must give the emigrating negroes steady and remunerative work, the selfishness of the motive cannot outweigh the beneficial character of the results. If no one in this country every takes a -worse method to secure votes there will be slight cause for complaint. A very curious feature of the affair is the attitude of Southern opinion. Representa tives of the South are denouncing the plan as "a crime." The Sonth has been telling the North for years that the presence of the negroes there is a curse; but whenever any plan, eitherphilanthropicorpolitical, is put in operation to remove any portion of the negroes from the South, thatection rises in arms against it It is hard to har monize the Southern expressions concerning the negro and the race question with the de nunciation in the South of all efforts to re move any portion of tbe race to Northern States, on any other hypothesis than the de termination to retain the cheap labor of the region, and at the same time to forbid any political or social amelioration for it The project of removing colored people from the Southern States and converting them to legal voters .in close Stales in the North, is an entirely permissible one. Bnt it is not likely that it will be put into oper ation on any large scale. It will cost some thing like a hundred dollars apiece to take each voter with his family from his South ern home and keep him until employ ment is found. The politicians credited with the project, will probably, after a lit tle experience, prefer tbe plan of getting their votes at a cheaper rate. PITTSBURG'S MAGNETIC TOWERS. The railroads have not cars enough to bring all tbe peoplo who want to come to Pittsburg. The suburban passenger traffic has grown wonderfully, and the Exposition has given a tremendous boom to the travel from a distance. Those who live in the suburbs which steam railroads alone reach, on the "Wayne Railroad, for instance, how great the increase of passenger has been. Twice as many trains as Port know traffic were scheduled two or three years ago are run ning now, and yet the cars are crqwded always. The railroad officials, as they con fess in The Dispatch to-day, are aston ished at the rapid strides of tbeir Pittsburg passenger business. The railroads, doubt less, will perceive the necessity of keeping up with the procession by enlarging their transportation facilities. Pittsburg swallows tbe incoming crowds, but the railroads col lect the first toll. A SENATOR'S GRIEVANCE. "We rather think there will be no paroxysm of sympathv over the little story sent out from "Washington, telling how Senator Stewart, of Nevada, was grieved tbe other night by having to pay at a fash ionable restaurant, thirty cents apiece for cigars that he formerly smoked at the even quarter. It is quite true the McKinley bill does raise the tariff on imported cigars, though we cannot say whether the addition al levy of five cents each on Senator Stewart's particular brand is exactly equit able. But people who habitually pay twenty-five cents for tbeir smoke, are not of the class who will evoke sympathy if they are obliged to invest a few cents additional in their pet luxury. Meanwhile, Senator Stewart and tbe other grave and reverend seigneurs of the Senate Club, can save the extra cents, and get as good a weed, by purchasing a Key "West cigar, which is made in this country out of the same tobacco as the imported Cuba. So in regard to champagne and other high priced liquors. The McKinley bill will add a percentage of cost to these, yet not enough to frighten such as have felt able to pay the previous prices. The fact is that the highest priced imported cigars and tbe choicest foreign wines are so far beyond tbe reach of the ordinary pocket that such additional tax as the McKinley bill puts upon them will neither hurt trade in tbem nor raise any public outcry. rcBxicrrx of divorce cases. In reply to the mournfnl reference of a cotemporary to the fact that there are forty five divorce cases to be heard before the New York courts, at this term, the New York Sun forcibly points out one mitigat ing cause for satisfaction. That is the fact that the cases will he tried in public, before a responsible Judge, and not decided by referees in secret bearing. The disclosures of the Flack case, as to tbe abuses possible under the practice of secret divorce trials, wrought this change in the New York courts; but it was made five years sooner in the Brooklyn courts; and experience there has shown that the re sults arc good. Pennsylvania has had the spectacle of fraudulent divorces secured by secret hearings in her courts brought promi nently before tbe public; but, although it is some years since one case of that sort at tained national notoriety, the reform which New York made in a year is still unestab lished in Pennsylvania, Public hearings for divorce trials would not only establish the responsibility of the tribunal hearing the case, bnt it would fix a greater responsibility on the parties. If people knew that neither money or influ ence could preserre secresy for their pecca dilloes, as brought out by such cases, they would be more careful to keep out of the divorce courts. THE IRISH LEADERS' STROKE. The peculiar aspects of the Irish trials are given a finishing touch by the action of Messrs. Dillon and O'Brien in forfeiting their bail and qnietly taking.as is supposed, their "passage for the United States. Of course the Tory mgistrate before whom they were arraigned proceeded' to forfeit their bail; but it is evident that the honors or the game lay with the plucky Irishmen. It is now plain beyond dispute that the airest and trial was solely for the purpose of preventing them from fulfilling their en gagement in this country. The prolonga tion of the trial which could have been finished in a single day.proves that purpose. Under those circumstances, there was no reason why the Irish leaders should be kept from their engagements in this country by the necessity of dancing attendance on a court where their case was manifestly prejudged. They had shown their willingness to stand trial. They hkd filed their protest against being tried by a Judge who was notoriously inimical to them; and they bad urged dispatch in the hearing and de cision of their case. Having done that their position before the public was made right, and they were justified in taking their final step. The trip to this conntry is of far greater importance than the thousand pounds bail that each must forfeit; and tbeir defiance of the devices used to prevent their coming to this country will point the proof ot the impotent malevolence of the last at tack of the Tory Government upon them. If, as there is every reason to suppose, Dillon and O'Brien are on their way to this country, their evasion of the attempt to retain them in Ireland will excite an immense enthusiasm on their welcome by the Irish-Americans. Their case will also call the attention of the world to the in famously one-sided administration of jus tice in Ireland under the rule of Balfour. A SCIENTIFIC German, by the name of Schultze, has discovered by numerous tests that glass affects beer, both in taste and odor, and that it must be drunk from cold-lined silver mugs. Tbe necessity of procuring cold lined silver mugs to dnuk beer from will put the German nation in peril of bankruptcy. PlTTSBUr.o has fulfilled the duties of hospitality by welcoming tbe coming and speeding tbe parting guests. And the guests seemed to like boMi kinds of treatment. The work of reducing the height of the famous mountains In this country goes steadily on. Some time ago a survey knocked 4,000 feet off the altitude of Mt. Popocatepetl, in Mexico, and now tbe wounded susceptibilities of the Mexicans have been assuaged byan official dec laration tbat the summit of Mt, St. Elias is in the United States and tbat it is b,O0O feet lower than tbe original figures. The success of tbese surveyors in cutting down tbe loftiest summits should induce the city authorities to bring them here to survey the Court House bill. There does not seem to be much hope of cut ting it down by any other method. The news that the Congressional cam paign committees are turning out campaign documents by tbe millions shows that one necessary of life is not advanced in price by tariff legislation. Waste paper will be cheap In November. "Weather prophecies are to the effect tbat we are to be pinched by a cold winter; but If we are not pinched by tbe gas companies, in addition, we will be able to stand it. It is a rather peculiar statement tbat is made by the proprietor of a rope-macbine fac tory in Brooklyn that be Is compelled to close bis shop on account of tbe reduction in the duty on binding twine. The assertion might go unchallenged if it were not accompanied by tho further information tbat a binding twine factory ou Long Island, owned by tbe same man. will not be shut down. The babitof charging the tariff law with everything is liable to be run into tbe ground. It is rather a come-down for Mr. Depew when, after asserting that be was not a candi date for President, the indiscreet action of bis fool friends obliges him to protest tbat he is not a candidate for Mayor of New York. The advance of paint, "on account of the new tariff," may be taken as being a protective measure, not only for the paint industry, but for tbe statuary at Harvard. A young woman who had successfully passed au examination for official stenographer of one of the Montreal courts, was barred out by the objection of one of tbe barristers prac ticing in tbe court, a Sir. Achainbault, Q. C. How tbe learned gentleman, who thus objects' to women having anything to do with tbe ad ministration of tbe law can brTBg bis proud soul to brook the title of Queen's Counsel, is one of tbe insoluble problems of life. The weather joined in giving a smiling welcome to our guests from abroad; but it seemed doubtful as to whether it could con tinue to show a fair face to Pittsburg alone, for more than two days in succession. By the way, the united powers of Andrews and Cooper have not yet produced a reply to Chairman Kerr's proposition for a uniform ballot. It will be gratifying to the residents on Center avenue in the Minersville district to learn from an article in an afternoon cotempo rary that among the streets paved this year -is "Center aTenue from Ellsworth avenue to Bobo street." Tbey might not haye learned of the paving otherwise; but it is to be feared tbat tbe information will not keep them out of the mud this winter. Dillon and O'Brien have come to the legitimate conclusion that iis better to forfeit tbeir ball than to be kept before a conrt wbich bad made up its decision before it heard the evidence. Senatoe Rutan now jumps back into the political nng with a promise to contribute bis mite to swell tbe liveliness of the State cam paign. BISHOP Oberly is quoted as saying that gill is a pretty good quantity to.take at one swallow." Tbe Bishop shows a disposition to ignore the fact tbat the truth of the remark varies with the kind of liquid swallowed. Per haps Mr. Oberly intended the application to be made only by his old associates, who are in the habit of swallowing no weaker liquid than whisky. Special Departments receive careful atten tion in THE DISPATCH every Sunday. So ciety, the Stage, Music, Secret Societies, Art, Grand, Army, Science, Electricity, Education, Military and Sport are all carefully lian died. OUR SHORT STORIES. ONIONS WERE NOT IN IT. T au very sorry," said the star to the stage manager, "but unless Mr. Jorkins desists from eating onions, I shall decline to kiss Claude JUelnotte again." The stage manager reported Pauline's ulti matum to bis chief, the man who wore the silk tile and did the heavy management, and in due time Mr. Edwin Booth Jorkins was requested to exclude the toothsome but odoriferous vege table from his diet. He consented because it was the middle of tbe season and they were playing one night stands in Tennessee a tidy walk from New York City. Ho dlrtn'teven say under his breath, as bis privilege was, "I will be revenged," but on tbe cars tbe next day be bougbt from the train boy several boxes of "Real Turkish Cigarettes" of tbe tine, old black cabbage brand and smoked until be was light-beaded and sick at the stomach. At tbe close of tbe next night's performance tbe star sent for tbe stage manager and said to him, "You will kindly request Mr. Jorkins as a personal favor to me to go back to onions!" HIS NAME WAS PADGETT. 'Therk used to be an editorial writer on tbe staff of tbe Louisville Courier-Journal ot the name of Padgett. Ho was from tbe mount ains of Tennessee, and was typical of tbat country. His coat hung on blm as it would on a clotheshorse, and bis trousers were always too short He was of a very unsuspicious na ture, was strictly honest, and supposed every one else was. On a certain payday tbe cashier was too busy to goto the bank for currency, so Padgett was given a check for 23 as bis salary for the week. He wanted to know what it was. and tho cashier explained tbat be could get his money for It by going to tbe bank. A few days after he appeared in front ot the paying teller's window at tbe bank and presented his check. "That is all right, Mr. Padgett," said the teller, "but you will have to get someone to identify you." "Identify met Why, l am Padgett." "I have not the slightest doubt of it," was the answer, "but it is a rule of tbe bank. You must be Identified." Padgett did not understand matters very well. "Hasn't the Courier-Journal any money here?" he demanded. "Certainly it has, but'we want to pay it tc Mr. Padgett Ask Mr. Haldeman, the pub lisher, to step in with you and we will pay the check." "Go to tbe deuce," said Padgett "I believe you are a set of thieves. Take the check and keep it" He threw tbe paper over tbe railing and marched out, and nothing conld ever in dnco bim to enter a back again. It was bis first and last experience with the haughty paying teller. Mr. Haldeman beard the teller's ac count of the affair, laughed heartily over it, and the next payday Mr. Padgett was given two weeks' pay at one time. BLONDE OR BRUNETTF sit ana muse, for I so yearn tor both, yet one aloi Can I ever hope to call my own I "Which shall I chooser One dark, one fair. The rich brown olive's bloom; the ripened peach ; Each rare in loveliness; so modest each! "Which shall I dare? Assure as fate I know that either waits but my behest To be mine own and He upon my breast "Why hesitate? Ah! Why? Becanse I long for both ! Each alls my heart's desire, Yetl to both possess would still asplrcl And thus I pause 1 "Which choice Is mine "Will leave for the nnch osen lone regret. What peace were mine, had we bnt never met I Then which resign? Be still, my heart! 1 humbly answer to my fate's fond beck. Dark beauty, come! Clasp then my willing' neck! Fair one, we part: "Here, Twenty! Ca-i-w-s-h!" The maiden at the necktie counter cries. "Then dark scarfs, sir, most e erybody buys, La, yes! They'll washl" SHE WAS OF SOUND MIND. A Mrs. Melbockn bad left all her property to a country doctor with whose family she bad boarded for some montbs before her death. Her relatives tried to invalidate the will by proving tbat the deceased was of unsound mind, and bad been unduly influenced. "While the doctor's son was in the witness box bis mother sat within full view of him, and occasionally shook ber finger when she saw tbat he was in juring their cause. The witness having been asked to give some evidence from the conversation of the deceased to prove tbat she was rational, said, with hesi tation: "Why why, because before she came to live at our place sbe used to come into the shop and ask me how the folks was." "That was a rational remark, but of course you bad some further conversation." "Yos.sho would sometimes want to know what mother was paying our help, and if father was putting up bis medicine as cheap as ever." (Here tbe finger sbook menacingly, but John did not heed and continued.) "And generally before sbe left tbe shop sbe would say: 'John, I've never seen tbe beat of your mother for making a bargain; sbe knows wbich side ber bread is buttered if ever a woman did.' " Just there John saw the warning finger and further efforts to induce him to repeat any scraps of conversation were unavailing. "Can you tell us anytbme to sbowher mental condition from her actions?" asked tbe law yer for the prosecution. "Yes," said John readily;" "yes, I remember that when she used to come to stay at our place sbe never brought any baggage." "Perhaps some ladies would consider that an evidence of unsound mind," said the lawyer, smiling. "How did she provide for changes of clothing?" "Why. she borrowed from our folks, and I think that was right smart for if she had brought her own clotbes our folks would have borrowed every stitch she had." TO-MORROWS Rig 20-Page DISPATCH will hold 100 Columns. It is the largest and best newspaper In Pennsylvania. THEIR NAMES IN PRINT. Stephen H. Tyng, the once popular New York pastor, is doing an excellent life insur ance business In Paris. Kino Oscar, of Sweden, so admired the Baltimore that he sent bis congratulations to President Harrison, through Captain Schley. Da. Holmes appears In tbe Harvard cata logue as "Oliver Wendell Holmes, M. D., LL. D., Litt D., D. C. L., Professor of Anatomy. Emeritus." Rev. Shuttlewobth, vicar of the English church at Egloshayle. Cornwall, has married MlssCudmore, a well-known actress on the London stage. Edward Do wXINCI, of Sydney, N. a W., is collecting information as to tbe working ot Federal and municipal institutions in the United States and Canada. Captain James Bend, who saved the lives of 298 persons wrecked off Long Beach, on tbe ship State of Georgia, iu December, 1852, still lives, at tbe age of 80, at Beach Haven, n.j; Colonel Judson, the handsome member of Governor Hill's staff, will be married to Miss Lathrop, of Albany, on November 18. In this tbe young Colonel sets the bachelor Governor a worthy example. Having declined the editorship of all the great Republican newspapers in the country, ex-Assistant Postmaster General Clarkson now Intimates tbat he can, if be wishes, go to China as United States Minister. Colonel Robert G. Ingersoll will de liver a lecture on "Literature, Art and Mor ality," in Horticultural Hall, Philadelphia, on October 21. The entire proceeds are to be given toward making comfortable the last days of Walt Whitman. citizen Geobgb Francis Train, who has been living quietly in his villa near Tacoma, "Wash-, since his famous round-the-world trip, is going back to New York City. He hopes to make an arrangement by which be will go around the world again via the East against bis own time. The Portland Club will give a dinnerin a few days to Secretary Blaine, Speaker Reed, Gov ernor Burleigh, Senators Hale and Frye, and Congressmen DIngley, Mllllken and Boutelle. General H. B. Cleaves will preside, and It is ex pected that about 200 leading Republicans ot tbe State will be present TO EXPOSITION visrroRs. A Question Upon "Which You axe Asked to Express an Opinion. The sixth week of the Exposition closes to night For to-day and evening The Dispatch asks visitors to cast their votes aye or nay on tbe question appended. Tbo poll book will be open at Dispatch headquarters, Brunswick Balke, Collender Billiard Company's space, until the close of the big show to-night Here's the topio for your suffrages: Should the railroads run semi-weekly excur sions to Pittsburg during the spring, summer and autumn? Open to lady and gentlemen voters. Souvenirs for tbe ladies. CHARITY IN A LETTER BOX. A Stranger "Whose Heart "Was Larger Than His Experience. From the Bt Louis Post-Dispatch. There is an old blind piper whose strangely pathetic figure.and yet stranger music, have bo come familar to everyone on tbe streets, for every afternoon ho stands with bis back against the lamp-post at Barr's corner, and in tbe evening he post himself before the en trance to tbe Exposition and plays in opposition to Glllmore's band, piping for a living and liv ing only upon the bounty of those who are stirred by deeds of charity by tbe pitiful wail of bis pipe. He was standing against his fa miliar support, tbe lamp post at Barr's cor ner, playing with all bis energy when a gray haired old countryman stopped to listen. "Within a Mile of Edinboror Town" was the air tbo old pipe gave out, and when it was finished tbe- countryman gazed at the old fellow with a look full of sympathy and pity. His hand went mechanically into his pocket and drew foitha dime. He looked at it but did not hesitate. Walking straight up to the old man, the countryman began to fumble with tbe letter box. He found tbe side at last and dronned in bis dime. Ar the coin clinked on the bottom of the mail box the countrymannlg turned away ana nts lace wore tne expression of one wbo was satisfied with a gooddeeddone. FATHER MATHEWS BIRTHDAY. The Centennary of the Birth of the Great Temperance Apostle Celebrated. The centennary ot the birth of Fatber Matbow, .the great temperance apostle, was celebrated yesterday by catholics generally throughout tbe country, and a meeting was held last even ing at Duquesne Hall, on Fenn avenue, at which various eulogizing addresses were delivered. The meeting was under the auspices of the St. Mary of Mercy Ladies' Society and tbe Father Mathew Association. An elaborate Srogrammc was carried out Mr. Joseph A. Mc amee speaking on "The Visit of Father Matbew to America," and Rev. J. F. Regis Canevin outlining tbe Apostle's life. Fatber Sheedy closed the evening's programme. Father Matbew was born in Cork.OctoberlO, 1790, and devoted his entire lite to the great cause. He spent two years in this country.and during his trip to America was Invited to speak before Congress. During the later years of his life tbe English Government, to show its ap preciation of his work, gave bim a pension of 500 per year. AMONG OUR EXCHANGES. A cucumber weighing four pounds has been raised near Lancaster. A BEYNOLDSVU.X.E man has raised a squash tbat tips the scales at 107 pounds. A jaybird in a cage is the songster which one of the young ladies of Oil City prizes. A fox loosed for a chase at Pottstown suc ceeded in evading 16 horsemen and 97 hounds. Cleveland's name was applauded at the recent Republican convention of Montgomery county. Mrs. John Hxckky, of Allentown, lost the sight of her only eje by a stick thrown by a small boy. The Indignation ot a Lancaster judee was vented on a magistrate wbo returned to court for trial an assault and battery case which in. volved two 12-year-old boys. Conductor Penny, of Lancaster, suspected a man of attempting to wreck a train and ar rested blm, wben tbe man confessed to having made several such attempts. A turtle was found yesterday meandering about tbe premises of Stepben Cloud, Jr., on East Third street, Chester, on the back of which was the inscription: "1811, W. P. E." Farmer John Clark of Laceyville, Lack awanna county, started from home on Wednes day with a load of lumber, upon which ho died from apoplexy, whereupon his horses turned around and drew the lumber borne with bis body upon it. A fair of twin squashes are on exbibitlon in Lancaster. Tbey are about ten inches in diam eter, perfectly symmetrical in form and pre cisely alike in shape, color and markings, and as nearly alike "as two peas." They are inter grown for a short distance, presenting a unique appearance. An overpoweiing stench arises from a trunk in tbe baggage room of tbe Pennsylvania Rail road at Mimintown. Tbe trunk was sent from Harrisburg on September 25 and has never been called for. Many people look npon it with sus picion and tbink it bides a deep and bloody mys tery. Drilling in the artesian well on tbe grounds of tbe Juniata Valley Camp Meeting Associa tion, at Newton Hamilton, has been stopped by a long and continuous flow of gas, wbich threw the debris to a height of 40 feet. Tbe well is now 650 feet deep and tbe Board of Managers have decided to transfer their search from water to oil or gas. A quantity of crnde oil has been brought to the surface. CROWNED WITH SUCCESS. Much Business Accomplished at the J. A F. A. Session. SrECIAL TELEQRAM TO THE DISPATCH. 1 Scbanton, October 10. The session of tho Junior American Protestant Association here was a success in the way of attendance and business accomplished. There were fully 1,500 delegates in the city. Following are the of ficers elected for the ensuing year: Grand Master. T. W. Faulkner; Vice, G. T. Davis; Secretary, Joseph Oliver; Treasurer, S. J. Matthews. The Grand Secretary reportedtnat there were 13,230 members in the State. There was paid out tor sick aud funeral benefits, 811, SOO. The rocclDts from all lodges footed un (88,190. There were relieved C19 members out of the fnnds of the order. There are 80 lodges in tbe State. The place for holding the next meeting in April, 1895. will be Philadelphia. The order at present is confined almost wholly to Penn sylvania, but it is now extending rapidly west ward and southward. After January 1. 1S9L tbe association will be known as the Loyal Knights of America. PUT UP AN EXTRA UICKEL, Senator Stewart s Surprise "When He Fur- chased Some Cigars. Washington, October 10. Senat6r Stewart of Nevada, called for cigars last night at Chamberlain's, and bis tavorite brand was banded down. He took three and laid down a silver dollar. Tbe attendant banded bim a dime in change. "Have you not made a slight mistake, my friend?" asked the Senator, somewhat emphat ically. "No, sir." urbanely replied the boy. "Tbese cigars are 30 cents apiece." . "I never paid but a quarter, and have been buying them, sir, for six months at that price." replied the astonished Senator. "The McKinley bill went into effect on Mon day, Senator, and we bad to raise tbe price 5 cents on each cleats" The reply of tbe Senator was a long, drawnout monosyllable for which sheol is a polite substitute. HEART BURNING. I was cayest of aH at the dance last night Tbe lightest of heart In seeming; 1 laughed, I waltzed, my cheeks were flushed, My eyes were bright and beaming. Ab, little those who glanced at me thongbt That my brain was throbbing, aching. And that 'ncatb the flowers that lay on my breaat My heart was braised and breaking. Tbey did not know that my eyes were brlgb Became of pain, and not pleasure; Tbey did not know that the music tp me Seemed played lu funereal measure. Tbey did not know that I laughed and talked To keep down the dreadful beart burning; They little tnought I a lesson of life, A bitter lesson, was learning. They did not know of the bours 1 spent In anguish while they were all sleeping; Tbey did not know hqw 1 snffcr'd and prsy'd, AH the time bitterly weeping. Alas, I am nqt the only one "Who laugh with a brain that is aching, Nor tbe only one whom the world thlaki gay Whose heart is crushed and breaking. The Ola Homestead, SNAP SHOTS IN SEASON. It's easier to pay a creditor a visit than a bill. He stood across the street from one of our largest hotels. The hour was late and tbe nisbt air damp. He gazed up and across, seemingly looking for something to come out of the window or tfie doorway of the hostelry. It was full, but he wasn't But he was mad very mad. And be had a right to be. As be looked lonely I stood beside bim. After a long look at tbe top story of tbe hotel bo raised his band and with a finger pointed upward. I followed the pointer while he spoke: "Now, just look up there. That's my room way upT in that corner, far from the madding throng. I had a fairly good room on the third, but tbey just fired me a fewstories higher to make room for the big guests. I can't stand ft I won't stand it I'm going up to McKeesport or down to tbe Heaver valley and bunt a room in some hotel where I'll get breathing space. I'm on the road andbave enough business to keep me for several days. But I can't do business with that little top corner room before me at all times. I can get quarters in the suburbs, and, thanks to your good system of rapid transit c:n run down during the 'lay and evening. The difference in rates will make up the differ ence in traveling expenses, yon know. I tell you Pittsburg does" need hotels badly. Why I come here frequently, and instead of waiting for a car or a cab I ru3b to my favorite hsuse and try to head off the other fellows. It's hard to get a room at any time during the business season. AU tbe traveling men will back up tbese statements. Well, good night I'll just walk around as long as I can and to morrow will try the botels on the border of tho city. Sleep Is necessary, you know, and without it we can't do good busl ncB." This is a fact Perhrps others will try this plan, and bunt rest on the outskirts. But they should not be forced to such ex tremities. So get a move on, ye would-be mine hosts, and give Pittsburg more hotel room. A hotel would, beside entertaining the stranger, he petitioned to take In permanent boarders. Lots of people wbo are now room ing and eating promiscuously would be glad of an opportunity to rest and refresh themselves on tbe beds and at tbe boards of hotels pro vided they were not crowded too much. We'll drink a rousing bumper Of tbe very best Wben tbe election stumper Gives us all a rest Champagne last night, real pain this mora ine. Such is high life. An orchestra conductor handles many worth less notes during his melodious existence. Cities like to cnt a figure in tbe census, but they don't like to have the figures cut. Balfour says he sees no famine in Ireland. If he was compelled to live on Irish fare he might feel it Hopes is the name of one of tbe lawyers working in behalf of tbe heirs of the late lamented Benjamin Franklin. Is he roping tbem in? The "happiest hour of woman's life," Is puzzling some of the philosophers. Is iwben she becomes a happy wife. And every joy obtainable is hers? Or is it wben love steals into ber heart And ring is placed upon a taper finger? Or when sbe masters clever things in art As ptinter, sculptor, or as opera singerf No. Noue of these be woman's "happiest hour. It Is when she a heavy draft caresses And starts for Europe on a wedding tour Witn Saratogas full of stylish dresses. The blacksmith can always raise blazes wltb his bellows. The fellow who makes a bad break Is often wrecked on life's highway. London has celebrated the "ping bat" cen tennial. The shiny tile has been in style for a hundred years. It's the hat your fatber wore, but has been blocked over many a time. The baseball managers are endeavoring to stop their tbroat-cnttinggame before they bleed to death. Oh, dearest Ben, keep rolling on Through Uncle Sam's possession; t Heed not the cries from Washington Don't call an extra session. The censns has developed the fact that over CO languages and dialects are spoken In Now" York. If you say beer they all understand you, however. New York is whooping up its population on a police recount Why not follow suit in Al legheny county? Why do some of the religionists make such a fuss about tobacco? The whiff from a cigar ette will surely keep the devil at bay. Words are fired in a heated debate. A goat is a butter, but goat's milk will not mako good butter. Another murder. Another boarder on the county. Another expensive trial. Another verdict. Another pardon. But no banging. It's about time to make an example of some of tbem. It's all well enough to side-track a candidate occasionally, but he should not be wrecked while swinging around. When a man goes to Scotland and pays several thousand dollars for tbe privilege of hunting deer, its dear stalking with a vengeance. The grave is not very broad or very deep, will bold all you can take along, however. It The average desperado dies game becanse ho has to. The strangest thing abont the last murder here is tbe fact tbat they caught tbe murderer. A Chicago policeman has arrested a goat for resisting an officer. He had to use a handy billy before be landed billy, too. Some of tbe visiting Englishmen seem to take life easy. One of them says tbe cable cars in Philadelphia run fast He must have queer ideas of speed. It tbe poor writing fluid used in writing deeds and mortgages was utilized by lovers, perhaps letters would not be flashed up when tbe breacb of promise sultls entered. The ink and the love would both fade at the same time. Keep awake on eartb. be a very long one. Tbe last sleep will The foreign iron men didn't realize wbat a good time tbey could have in America until they struck Pittsburg. At last Mary Anderson's lunatic lover has shot somebody. He was allowed to run loose with a gun for a long time, and wben sent to an asylum was permitted to retain the toy. There's now a vacancy in tbe Flatbush Asylum staff. Object lessons of this sort should have some effect She kneels devoutly In the cushioned pew, Her moving lips denote a fervent prayer. Rich silken dresses rustle in tbe aisle. As Fashion sweeps along in stately file. This music's sweeter than tbe salaried choir, And calls her back to eartb, tho' she'd soar higher. Her bead she lifts, shakes ont her golden tresses. And feasts her eyas upon the wealth of dresses; Then low sbe murmurs, "Mother, look at tbat! Young Julia Brown is wearing last year's bat" Don't forget your friends, tbem. Yon may need THE great events in society are only talked about after all. A tboo caused tbe train bearing tbe Paul son party to leave the track. Superstitious croakers will see an HI omen in this. , The well-known firm of Quay, Cameron & Cooper are doing business at the old stand. Now something will surely drop. It's no use to try. to run a hotel In Washing ton without a spirituous annex. Vice Presi dent Morton's guests are leaving since be closed the bar. If be persists m keeping it closed be might as well put up the bars. Another cable car fatality. Tbe children will either hare to keep off tbe streets, or the cars will have to go slower. Which shall it be? How tbe lion will roar after losing tbe ble Irish game. It's pleasant to know tbat tbe ex tradition treaty does not cover Messrs. Dillon and O'Brien's case. The singer's voice is always weighed in tbe scales. You can tell tbe foreign makers of iron and steel by the cut of tbeir clothes and their whiskers. The mouths of some of the city sewers are exhaling foul breatb. Tbe odors are deadly and dangerous. Willie Winkle. OUR MAIL POUCH, That Curve Puzzle. To tho Editor or The Dispatch: Dear Sir In answer to tbe question of "G. M. P., Kane, Pa.," I should think that if the curve was in the shape of a half circle or any other part of a circle, the outside rail would contain more linear feet than, the inside one, and, as a matter of fact, too outside wheel wpuld have to travel faster and farther than the inside one to be at the same place at tbe same time as tbe inside one. To prove this take two pieces of wire and bend tbem into the shape of a track; when this Is. done straighten tbe wire and measure each piece and you will see that the ouside piece is longer than the in side one. WaltL Pittsburg, October 10. An Elopement Afoot To the Editor orThe Dispatch: Please state through The Dispatch what is the nearest city or town to Pittsburg in which a young lady and centleman may be married without consent of parents, the young lady be ing 17 and tbe young man 20. Also, please state wbat age a young lady and gentleman must be to procure a marnage license in Pennsylvania without consent of parents. Interested Reader. Pittsburg, October 10. Camden, N. J. She must be 21 years o!d.J "What E. de M. Means. To the Editor of Tbe Dispatch : In this morning's paper Constant Reader. Altoona, asks tbe meaning of the letters E. D. E, M. wben found at tbe end of a letter. In all probability the query refers to the abbrevia tion E. de M. appended to the signature of young ladles who are members of tbo Sodality of the Blessed Virgin. When so used it means "Enfant de Marie" (Child of Mary). Pittburg, October 10, 1800. Adeid. He Can Vote on Age. To tbe Editor or the Dispatch: A bets tbat a man 21 years of age can vote on election day. B bets be cannot Who Is right? Southside, October 10. G. P. H. Answered and Unanswered Queries. To J. C. M. Mrs. S. A. Hill says the BlrchUl explosion took place in 1S75. T.. Somerset, Pa., wants to know how chicory is prepared for adulterating coffee. Who can tell him? A. B. V., Youngstown, O. An error was made In replying to your query yesterday. United States troops were sent to Pittsburg during the riots. One or two companies, we think. HAD HORSE. Terrific Ravings of an Animal With the Hydrophobia. Washington C. H.. O., October 10. At Pleasant View, this county, a large horso be longing to a farmer, named James Robinson, was bitten by a mad dog about fire months aeo. The dog was killed and the event almost for gotten. Several days ago. however, the horse began to show signs of hydrophobia. It crew worse, and was finally placed in a large stout tall, and a huge baiter placed aronnd the horse's neck. The paroxysms would como on. and In its f nry the horse would crab tbe large manger between its teeth and shake it like a dng would a rat A gentleman who witnessed the terri ble ravings of the animal, said he never be fore saw anythinir to equal it Froth and blood trickled from the horse's month, and strange growls or crunts were made by the horse. It flnally'became apparent tbat even tbe huge baiter would not withstand tbe ter rific jerking ot tbe animal, and it bad to be shot His Just Deserts, from the New York Tribune. Mayor Grant has decided to revoke the license of S. F. Slomsky, tbe employment agent of No. 10 Battery Place, whom the Central Labor Union charged witn sending men to work in the coal mines of Westmoreland county. Pa., while a strike was in progress, of which they were ignorant ' STATE POLITICAL NOTES. Harrisburg Telegraph (Rep.): There is a strong suspicion that unless an eye is kept on him William Ubler Hensel will get over into New Jersey and do some campaigning for Pat tison. Then wouldn't the cider fly? OIL City fierrick (Standard): William A Wallace's version of "Called Back" in Phila delphia this week, will not 'Ibe" with Chair man Kerr's rendition of "Called Down" in the Twenty-eighth district a few weeks ago. Lancaster New Era (Rep.): It is satisfac tory to know tbat the Republican party In Lancaster county is a unit for tbe Republican candidates. There is no disaffection anywhere. This county will add a big figure to tbe ma jority in the State. Crawford Journal (Rep.): There are six farmers and one farmer's son on the Republi can ticket Certaiply the party which nom inates a farmer's boy for County Treasurer, a farmer for Protbonotary, another for Clerk of tbe Courts, two for Commissioners, two for Auditors,and one for Assembly, cannot be justly accused of neglecting the farmer. Williamsport Sun (Dein.): The Repub lican press of tbe State have all along protested tbat Delamater favors a secret ballot but wben tbe Democratic State Chairman makes a pioposltion to make tbe ballot box secret this year tbe Republican State Chairman refuses to accede to tne offer. The organs will bave to reviso themselves and hereafter drop the secret ballot pretensions for their candidate. Mercer Dispatch (Rep.): Tho friends of Major McDowell (wbich m this country means every Republican voter) need not feel dis couraged. Lawrence county is a-booming for bim, Beaver is working to put bim at the bead of tbe poll, and even in tbe soap mines th6 townships on tbe Allegheny river are all right Harrisville, Prospect and hundreds of other places are "gunning" for the man who is against tbe gallant Major. Elk Democrat (Dera.): No clouds of politi cal scandal have gathered around the name of Robert E. Pattlson. In the presence of bis pure official record as Controller of Philadel phia and Governor of Pennsylvania, the shafts of political malignity fall harmlessly at his feet His own-political opponents, when free from partisan fear of his candidacy, have ren. dered voluntary tribute to his worth and bis fitness for the office of Governor ot Pennsyl vania. Puxxsutawney SpU it (Rep.): The friends ot Congressman Kerr are eudoavorlng to in duce Kribbi, of Clarion, recently nominated for Congress, to withdraw In favor of Mr. Kerr. They claim that Kerr can run independent and be elected, as tbe opinion Is general that bis defeat for tbe nomination was little short of an outrage. Mr. Kribbs no doubt thinks it pretty tough to be asked to band over a nomination given him by tbe regular conferees in the usual manner, but there may bo some way of consoling blm for the sacrifice. A KNEELING NATION Is what Henry T. -Finck calls the Japanese. In to-morrow's DISPATCH he ghes his reasons for the name. LARGEST XREE IN THE "WORLD." Just Discovered in California It is 120 Feet Around. Fresno, Cal., October 10. The largest tree in the world has been discovered in this (Fresno) county. A party of bear hunters lo lated it in tbe Sierras. It is in tbe moat rugged portion of the mountains, two miles north of Kontucky Meadows. It was surrounded for a mile by almost impenetrable underbrush, so that the hunters were compelled to use both knife and ax to get to It Four feet from the ground It was 129 feetin circumference. It was christened the "Oregono." Three brown bears were cap tured near It CDKI0OS C0NDENSATI0BS. A 13-years.old girl is the organist in a Maioe cburcb. A child born to an Albany, Ga.,conpla had at birth two teetb. A 9-year-old Buchanan, Ga., boy sets over a column of type a day. Many of Georgia's new legislators can. not spell or write the English language or any other. Pine samples of iron, copper, silver and coal were last week discovered in Floyd coun ty, Ga. The son of Jesse James, the notorious desperado, is running an elevator in a Kansas City bank. Archie Itichards, 12 years old, is ia jail in Houghton county. Mich., accused of horse stealing. Houston (Tex.) Herald: I have a buz zard I will fight against any dog in Harris county for a wager of Jo0. At the fnneral of an aged lady at "Wool wich. England, her seven sons, all clergymen of the Church of England, were present Parks Bullock, an 11-year-old Ofca humpka boy, is under arrest charged with at tempting to assassinate Hon. William M. Ben nett Iowa physicians are interested in a dropsical patient wbo has been tapped 141 times, and'eoes about the household duties notwithstanding. The Independence was the first steam boat to navigate the Missouri river. Sbe left St. Louis May 15, 1819, and stopped neat Boon vllle. where a great banquet was tendered. Rutgers College sophomores issued an order tbat tbeir boots must be blacked by tbe freshmen. The latter collected the footgear and smeared the leather generously with green paint John Eastman, a full-blooded Sioux Indian, is serving on the grand jury in the United States Court at Sioux Falls. S. D. Eastman is a Presbyterian minister and is highly educated. There is a family in Armstrong county father, mother and lour children whose combined weight Is 1,300 pound, an average of 216 pounds. One of the girls weigns 305 pounds and Is only 11 years old. Out at Arkansas City, Kas., resides a maD wbo brought suit against his wife for ali mony on tbe ground tbat she was a strong and healthy woman and ought to support bim. Tbe courts decided against him. An Athens, Ga., man has given to the University Museum the skin of a rattlesnake killed at Sapelo this summer. Tbe rattler was 10 feet lonsr. and at the largest part of tbe body measured 10 inches in circumference. Fernando Palany, while in tbe woods near St. Augustine. Fla., early last week in search of cattle, had three of bis dogs bitten by a rattlesnake, two ot which died from the ef fects of the bite. The snake was very large and venemous. f Balloonist McEwen went up at the Eaton (Micb.) fair and did not notice tbat tbe machine was on fire until be was 200 feet toward the sky. He then loosened the para chute just as the thing was collapsing; and came down all right In a Western town the other day two funeral processions met in a narrow street and the driver of each hearse refused to give way resulting in a blockade that last for several hours, it is said. Furthermore, it is alleged tbat the mourners passed the time in singing songs. The banquet of the Interuational Vegetarian Congress In London recently con sisted of porridge, stewed and fresh fruit, eggs and lentil cutlets with tomato sauce, mushroom patties and sivory sandwiches After this of ficial brcakftst the ciugres beld a conference advocating their ideas of food. The fastest bird on the wing is the swift, wbich has been known to attain a speed of 200 miles an hour. It feeds exclusively on insect-, wbicb it captures while flying. The speed of tbe swallow, which comes next to that of the swift. Is usually 30 miles an hour, but sometimes goes as high as 90 miles an hour. A bright young lad about 8 years old, living near Orlando. Fla., has adopted a novel use lor a steel trap, commonly used for catch ing rats and other small animals. Tbe bov's bouse is near a lake, and after baiting the trap in the usual manner he sets it in the water for the purpose of catching turtles, and has suc ceeded in trapping several in ibis original manner. Crippled Captain S. S. Mayo ha reached Lowell, Mass., on his way to Tagus, Me. He ha ridden 2,700 miles across the con tinent on a bet of $o,IXR tbat be conld cross from ocean to ocean in 1C5 dajs. When he left California bo had a spick-and-span new buggy and a tough little roan. Now the Door little roan is bidly banged and the bucgy is "a sight to see." Mayo sas tbero are too many corduroy roads in these United States. Clerk Itichards, of Washington, got into a street car tbe other day. Every seat was oc cupied, and he sat un the lap of a good-natured friend. After tbe car passed the toot of tbe hill i bcavy-elght colored woman Neutered. Richards absent-mindedly arose and said, as was bis uual practice: '"Take this seat, madam." His slttimr friend objected to the proposed transfer, but, rising with alacrity, offered bis scat Sbo accepted it promptly. In Germany wood with a mirror polish is coming into use for ornamental purposes in place of metal. The wood is first submitted to a batb of caustic alkali for two or three days at a temperature of about 175 Fahrenheit, then dipped in hydro-sulphate of calcium for 21 to 39 hours, after which a concentrated solmion of sulphur is added. After another dip in an acetate of lead solution at about 100, a shining metallic surface is given.by polishing wben dry with lead, tin or zinc. The following is said to be a literal copy of the rnies posted on a scboolbouse door up in tbe Big Bend country: "Each pupil is required to make a bow on entering tbe School House of morning, also on leaving of the School Room of evening. There shall be no profain language used in School nor on tbe play ground nur shall there be no pinstlckmz; pinchln, bcratcbin, nor no taggln, nor no uneasy Whisperin in School. No pupd sball leve tho bebool bouse without permission of tbeleacber. No uneasy moven Irom seat to seat No fltln on the road from nor to bchool nor no Nick-nannn. Every pupil over eight years sba'l be subjec to these rules, and the teacher is to make ailowense for all pupils under eizbt and enforce tbe rules ao corden. If any scholar biakes these rules tha shall be punished by awitchon." IJT A JOCULAR VEDT. "Did yon know that in the last century the dudes were called macaronies?" "Jo: were they? I wonder why." Because tnev were long, slim and hollow, I fancy." A'eto Xork Herald, "Where's Eooney, Sloike?" "Dead!" "l'hatwartheraattberwld Mm?" "fUymarse. Vooted tbay rapooblican ticket by mestekl" Yankee Blade. Little Tommy Tuff I can't see why the members of Congress should be all called M. C.'. Jllcfc McGoniKle Hub! Der Mc'j alters has dor best show fur an office I Sifting: McCorkle (to his wife; Did you know tbat Blr. Oazzam was a polycamlst? Mrs. McCorklc (horrified) Vhy, no! Jlcfortle Well, he told me tbat sometimes his wife acted like a woman beside herself? Smith, Gray Co.'s Hunt hit. Hobson How did yon enjoy your summer trip, Bagley? Hafiley Had a delightful time. Gained 120 pounds. Hobson One hundred and thirty pounds. I don't believe It. Bagley Don't you? Well, here it comes down the street Just wait awhile and I'll Introduce you. Brooklyn Llf. Squeers In KussUi prisoners are not sen tenced to any definite terms. When the authori ties get ready to set thenjfree they do it. Jilekleby Well, thev sentence men to lndeflaU terms In this country. bqucers ? ? ? ickleby-I Just read of a man being sent up for lite. Boston Traveller. Colonel Hooks I hear you have been con verted. Uncle 'Raitui. Uncle 'liastus Yevsab; l'se dona got religion suah. Colonel Hooks No more chicken stealing, eh? Unci 'iUstus No, Indeed, sahl Colonel Hooks And no more playing policy? Uncle 'Kastus-Well, sah, I buys de policy slips: but I makes 'em de subjee ob a pow'ful dealos pra'r, sah. Puck, "Now a kiss, dear," quoth he, "Is a noun we'll admit But common or proper Canst thou tell that of it?" Well, I think," replied she, "To speak nothing loth," While she smiled and grew red Well. 1 think It Is both."- -Smith, dray Co.'t XoMg.