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THE EETTSBTIBa DISPATCH, FRIDAY. SEPTEMBER 13, 1890.
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ESTABLISHED" FEBRUARY S. 1MB,
Vol. , No. 217. Entcrce" at Plltsburg Postofflce,
November It, 19i7, as second-class matter.
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PiTTSBUKG. FRIDAY. SEPT. 12, 189a
9IORE SCHOOLS NEEDED.
The public schools ot Pittsburg and Al
legheny arc as a rule overcrowded. The
Dispatch presents a general review of the
Scholastic situation in its columns this mora
ine It will be seen that a great increase
jjhns taken place in the number of children
" seeking the benefits of free education in
"-Pittsburg. Secretary ileisfar, of the Cen
tral Board of Education, is authority for
the statement that whereas 25,000 children
were on the public school rolls in Pittsburg
last June there are now 30,000 approxi
mately. This increase is abnormal, and as
- an indication of the healthy growth of
Pittsburc population is gratifying. The in
crease in the attendance at the Allegheny
City schools is proportionately large.
The existing school buildings are in many
instances inadequate to the enlarged de
mand upon their -capacity. The Dis
patch's reporter discovered yesterday that
many school rooms were crowded to a de
gree dangerous to the children's health.
Sixty, seventy or even eighty scholars, for
instance, were found in rooms intended and
lit to contain bnt forty, in nearly every
school, bnt especially in those of the so
called suburban wards, the rooms are too
full for health. Of course the teachers are
likewise handicapped by the unwieldy size
of their classes, and the wheels of the educa
tional machine are clogged.
The Central Board of Education in Pitts
burg is doing its best to provide additional
school buildings where they are most needed,
and twenty-two teachers have been added to
the staff. It is satisfactory to learn also that
the public schools here are in better shape to
meet the demands made upon them than
they are in New York and other large cities.
TJntil now Pittsburg has not, as several first
class cities have done, closed its school
doors against a large body of children for
lack of room. The Pittsburg schools, how
ever, are very close to the danger line. They
are too full now lor perfect safety. The
community must be prepared to provide for
the erection of more public schools at an
earlv day. The facts presented by The
Dispatch to-day deserve careiul consider
ation.
A TERRIBLE CANUCK.
If ever the United States and Canada get
to fighting we shall have to keep a sharp
1 look out for Colonel Gray, of the Toronto
militia. It is clear that Colonel Gray is a
ferocious fellow. An American flag
fluttered among a thousand others at the
Industrial Exhibition in Toronto. Colonel
Gray saw it, and without a moment's delay
he ordered the Stars and Stripes to be re
moved, lie flag was taken down, but
Manager Hill of the Exposition s pusillan
imous being who does cot know that it is
cowardly to be polite to a friendly nation
restored the Stars and Stripes to its place of
honor. The lion-hearted Gray again de
manded the removal of what he called "an
alien people's flag, but Manager Hill re
fused to insult the American visitors to the
Exposition. "What the heroic'brigadier of
Canadian militia will do next under the
circumstances it is hard to say. It might
be compatible with his peculiar stripe of
daring to remove the flag with his own
hands. On Canadion soil such a deed might
be done with safety possiblv.
We do not doubt that most Canadians
will regard the conduct of such a snarling
cur as contemptible. The Pittsburg Ex
position is run on most patriotic lines,
but the flags of all nations are to be found
there, and among them one that Colonel
Gray professes to honor. The trouble is that
' some cowards are even afraid of courtesy.
A CONSTITUTIONAL DOUBT.
In the consideration of the tariff bill as it
now standi, the question of the constitu
tionality of the Aldrich reciprocity amend
ment is attracting attention. The amend
ment provides that "whenever and so often
as tbe President shall be satisfied that the
-- Government oi any country producing and
exporting sugars, molasses, coffee, tea and
bides" imposes duties or exactions upon the
products of the United States which he
"may deem to be reciprocally unequal and
unreasonable" he shall have the power to
suspend the law admitting these articles
'free. The result of the suspension will be
to subject the articles to duties.
- The conferees of the Senate and House
will doubtles have their attention called to
this section of the bill, and it may be found
necessary to change its wording. But the
reciprocity idea can certainly be carried
out without conflict with the Constitution.
CONGRESS GETTING BIGGER.
The apportionment of the representation
in Congress under the new census will be
made at the next session, that is some time
this winter. Chairman Duncell, of the
Committee on the Eleventh Census, has in
troduced a bill providing for the apportion
ment, but is hardly likely that it will even
reach the committee room until after
Christmas.
The bill distributes the representation
upon the ratio of 178,371, and it provides
for n Congress of 355 members. The next
half of this Congress, assuming that "Wyom
ing and Idaho are entitled to members, will
contain 332 Representatives. According to
the new bill there will be an increase in
membership of 21 members and a loss of
one, mating a net gain of 23. There will
be a gain of one member in each of the
States of Alabama, California, Colorado,
Michigan, Missouri, New Jersey, Oregon,
Texas, "Washington and "Wisconsin. Arkan
sas, Illinois, .Kansas and Pennsylvania gain
two each. In Minnesota and Nebraska the
gain will be three each. Ohio will lose one
member, the only State that suffers a loss.
Pennsylvania and' New Jersey are the only
Eastern States to make gains.
The Republicans appear to be likely lo
reap a large share of the gains. According
to Mr. Dunnell's calculations, the alsum
able increase of the Democratic representa
tion is eight, while that of the Bepublicans
is 15. Alabama, Missouri, New Jersey,
Texas, Arkansas (2), and, perhaps, one
each in Illinois and Minnesota, which can
hardly be so cat up that a Democratic dis
trict can be avoided, will make the eight,
and the IS to which the Bepublicans think
themselves entitled will come from Cali
fornia, Colorado, Michigan, Oregon, Wash
ington, Wisconsin, Illinois, Kansas (3),
Pennsylvania (2), Minnesota (2), and
Nebraska (2).
The electoral rote, which was 401 in the
last Presidents! election, will be increased
to -443, and it-will take 222 votes to elect.
This will be the basis for all calculations of
the outcome of the election of 1892.
GAS IN PLENTY.
There is no longer room fordonbt concern
ing the natural gas supply for this winter. It
is so amply assured that the surplus will
likely carry the city over next summer and
into the winter following. Beyond that time
the outlook is cot alarming. For, if getting
this year's supply secures a surplus, next
year's supply ought cot to be hard to find
with the surplus to start on. It is probably
not necessary to discuss the situation beyond
that time at present.
Facts are presented this morning in The
Dispatch's news columns which open up
the question of an ample supply for an in
definite period encouragingly. Old wells,
once shot in and believed to be exhausted,
have regained their pressure and reasserted
their ability to enter into the supply system.
Instances are cited from two fields adjacent
to this city, and others from Indianapolis,
indicating that the phenomenon will be com
mon to all the fields, and cot local. This
data is published now for the first time, and
may shed unexpected light on the gas
problem.
Scientific opinion on the question of gas
supply has probably not been changed, but
it has been shaded materially during the
past few years. It may require still further
modification as the scientists secure further
data and make further observations. The
Dispatch congratnlates its readers on the
evidence of a continnation of the gas supply.
There is no purpose, however, to boom any
thing. Investors know enough, or should
know enough, to investigate for themselves.
It is foreign to this inquiry to discuss any
financial problems. The gas ' suppliers
know all about tbe business themselves.
The Dispatch is investigating solely for
the information of tbe consumer.
MR. DELAMATER AT SEWICKLEY.
Mr. Delamater visited the beautiful
Sewickley Valley yesterday. The sylvan
charm of that favored locality must have
beeu very refreshing to the hustling candi
date. The peace and quietness oi the place,
the absence of all unseemly noise, the cool
air and the companionship of several Be
publicans could not but have had a sooth
ing effect upon the aspirant for Guberna
torial honors. It is true that even the
seductive silence of Sewickley could not
seduce Mr. Delamater from the path of
pow-wow. He made a little speech to a
cozy little congregation in the evening, but
it did cot involve anygreatmental exercise,
and the Sewickley rally may be said to have
proved a sort of interval for refreshments
and self-communion in a campaign of very
hard work.
GOOD HABITS NOT ALL.
Dr. "W. S. Searle writes very entertainingly
of popular errorsabont health in the current
number of the North American Review, and
the unregecerate are particularly likely to
enjoy the perusal of the passage touching
upon the exceedingly common notion that
length of life is controlled by habits, and
that a careful observance of what are called
good habits must necessarily insure to every
one longevity. The man whose habits are
not very good very seldom has a word said
for him by the scientists. Most doctors of
medicine, like their brethren of divinity, are
fond of consigning the irregular Philistine
to the flames by summary process of reason
ing. Dr. Searle ha3 considerable evidence to
produce in support of his claim that good
habits are not necessarily safeguards of
health. He says that it was his fortune to
know a man who believed that by practic
ing rigid self-denial he might avoid sick
cess, and prolong his life to an indefinite
extent. This man of good habits carried out
a severe course of lire with more than or
dinary consistency and intelligence. .His
income enabled him to completely realize
Jiis Ideal. He trained his body carefully
and regularly; he had no "small vices," nor
great ones; he ate the plainest food, but it
was always of the best, well prepared and
abundant. .Not one of those habits which
are esteemed good was neglected, and those
which are called bad were shunned with ab
horrence. He boasted that he was never
sick, and that he would live to celebrate his
one hundredth birthday.
He had a neighbor of the most self-indulgent
kind. He also was a man of wealth,
who took no exercise beyond an occasional
pleasure drive, who uniformly ate a hot and
rich supper at 10 o'clock at night, and of
whom it was asserted that, though never
drunk, he was rarely, if ever, perfectly
sober. The former of these gentlemen died
at G4; the latter at G&
But Dr. Searle does not desire that the
inference should be drawn that irregular
habits are beneficial to a man's health. His
theorem is not that there are no absolutely
good and absolutely bad habits; nor that
they have cot an influence npon longevity;
but that this influence is much less than is
customarily supposed so small, indeed, as
hardly to be taken into account when com
pared with that of heredity.
Judge Scott, of the Illinois State
Board of Equalization, says that fully one
billion dollars' worth of property in that State
escaped taxation this year. While the poorer
and the middle classes were fairly taxed, the
rich and the corporations managed, by false
returns, to evade their lawful share. The in
justice may not be so glaring in this State, but
there is no doubt that taxation everywhere
does not touch all purses equally.
The financial prospects of the creditors
of tbe defunct Farmers and Mechanics' Bank
are growing small by degrees and beautifully
less. The assignees declare tnat the creditors
are helping to reduce the assets.
The Senate caucus resolved yesterday
upon a programme of legislative work for the
rest of tbe session. Twelve measures besides
the tariff bill are scheduled for consideration,
and apparently no bill vitally needed by tbo
country has been omitted. TJntil the tariff bill
is a law, however, the date of adjournment
must remain in doubt.
Speaker Reed needs a rest, he de
clares. The Democrats ot Maine were willing;
F
ay, anxious, to give him a long vacation, but
r. Reed would not accept It.
The South Carolina Farmers' Alliance
Standi on a red-hot Democratic iplatform. Re
publican organs which predicted a revolution
there can get only the most frigid comfort
from the outcome. If all the Alliances In the
South go and do likewise there is little hope
of shattering Its lolidityt, v
They are making a great fuss down in
North Carolina about seven mountains in the
Blue Ridge having taken to smoking. Surely
they are old enough.
Was Speaker Beed's victory la Maine an
Indorsement of him or of the administration?
There Is a difference, although Joe Mauley In
his telegram to the President announcing the
result of the Maine elections as an indorse
ment of "Your administration," Boemed to
recognize none.
Waterspouts and floods are among the
incidents of this September, Even staid, sober
autumn Is becoming derailed like the rest of
the seasons.
It is cot fair to say sarcastically that the
National League team alleged to be represent
ing Pittsburg loses a game every day. When
ever that aggregation of star players gets the
chance it loses two games. Witness, yester
day's performance.
The Cresson climate does not seem to
agree.with the Presldcntal family. Even Baby
McKeo has been given the cold shake.
Speaker Reed seems inclined to rest
after his hard work in Maine. He was too
tired to count a quorum yesterday, and also de
clined to positively accept Senator Quay's in
vitation to visitPittsburg and boom candidate
Delamater.
FBOmHEKT MEN AND WOMEN.
Ex-Governor Berry, of Bristol, N. H., has
observed his 91th birthday in comfortable
health.
'Gail Hamilton." Abigail Dodge, conducts
"a Bible talk" every Sunday afternoon at Sec
retary Blaine's.
Mrs. Deborah Powers, of Kingston, N.
Y is worth $3,000,000, manages her own affairs
and is 100 years old.
Prof. J. W. Sanborn, of, Ollmanton, N.,
H., has accepted an appointment as President
of the new agricultural college at Logan,
Utah.
Governor Hill, of New York, will attend
the Lockport fair September 25, and the Cat
tarangus county fair, at Frankllnville, Septem
ber 26.
Hon. D. Gardiner Tyler, son of ex-President
Tyler, is mentioned for the Democratic
Congressional nomination in the Norfolk, V a,,
district.
Prince Albert Victor is the only son of
a Prince of Wales who has taken his seat in tbe
House of Lords before his father's accession to
tbe throne.
A Protestant Episcopal Church to cost
$11,000 Is under contract at Reistertown, Md.,
the gift of Mr. William Keyser as a memorial
to his mother.
Rev. W. P. Hines. formerly pastor of the
Central Avenue Baptist Church, Atlantic City
ward, has accepted a call to the West View
Baptist Church. In Richmond, Va., and will
enter upon his duties the 1st of October.
General Johh M. Palmer, of Illinois, who
is canvassing for tbe United States Senate, ids
said, will have no opposition in tbe legislative
caucus next winter, so far as the votes of Cook
county are concerned.
Henrt W. Hilltaed, of Georgia, has
nearly ready for the press a volume of reminis
cences converlng a period of folly half a
century. Mr. Hilllard was Minister to Belgium
when Mr. Webster was Secretary of State, was
in Congress from 1S13 to 1S51, and Minister to
Brazil from 1877 to 18SL
Mrs. Calvin S. Brice gave alarge luncheon
a few days ago at Stone Villa, Newport. The
ladies were placed in the large circular piazza.
Among the guests were Commander and Mrs
3. 3. Brice, Mr. and Mrs. Fred Sharon, Mr.
Wharton, Miss Knowlton, Miss Sherman,
George Munzig, Mrs. and Miss Barron. A mu
sicale followed. The house was elaborately
decorated. ,-
A FIGHT FOB BLOOD.
Battle Between n! Snnke nnd a Spider In
tbe-White House.
Thero was an exciting scene on the south
portico of the White House Wednesday after
coon, growing ont of a battle between a garter
snake and an enormous spider, resulting in the
death of both the participants. While the
workmen employed in putting down the tiling
on the portico were in ttfe act of raising one of
the big sandstone slabs they were startled by
the appearance of a green snake about two
leet long, and evidently spoiling for a fight.
Curling himself up in a knot, his snakesblp In
vited an attack by hissing violently ana dart
ing his tongue in and out in an" alarming man
ner. A big black spider, having just finished
spinning a new web, came slowly tswara the
snake, being suspended on a single strand.
Both struck simultaneously, and the spider
dropped dead as if struck by electricity.
After emitting a frothy substance from its
month the snake began to squirm as if in pain,
and lasbed the stone floor with its tall, making
a smack like the cracking of a whip. A well
directed blow with a shovel by one of the tilers
cut the snake In two pieces, and it was soon ren
dered incapable of farther mischief. Jeiry, tbe
President's factotum, pronounced the reptile a
"doctor snake," of the garter variety, and one
At the most poisonous of the snake family.
Where he came from or bow long he had been
under tbe floor of tbe portico is a mystery
which has been intrusted to the savants of the
Smithsonian Institution, whither the remains
ot the snake were sent.
THE SPEED OF A HORSE.
Amazing; Results ot Careful Breeding n
Exhibited In tbe American Equine.
From the Cincinnati Enquirer.
While the public is still marveling over Sal-
vators wonderful performance in running a
mllo in 1:35, there are few who have, through
comparison and analysis, sought to realize what
a terrific burst of speed this Is. It. is nearly 40
miles an hour a rate averaged by very few of
our fastest trains. There 'are 6,280 teet in a
mile, so that for every ono of these 95 seconds
for every beat of a man's pulse this wonder
ful horse covered 59 3-10 feet of ground.
The shortest space of time noted by the turf
man's watch is a quarter of a second an inter
val so brief that tbe eye can hardly observe,
the mind can hardly appreciate, it. Yet in
every one of those 382 quarters of a second that
magnificent creature leaped 16 S-10 feet. Such
are the amazing results of .careful breeding as
exhibited in tbe American race horse. Is the
human race improving in the same ratio?
Scarcely.
FOB THE CHRISTIAN CAUSE,
Many Ollnlitera In Attendance at the United
Brethren Conference.
(SPECIAL TH.IQRAU TO THE DISPATOB.I
Parkersbueg. September 1L The thirty
fifth annual session ot the .United Brethren
Conference began its session in this city last
evening with Bishop J. Dickson. D. D., of
Chambersburg, Pa, presiding. After devo
tional exercises, Scrlptureteading and exhor
tation by the Bishop, the conference com
pleted Its organization by electing Rev. H. J.
Graham, Chairman, and Rev. C. H. Cox, Sec
retary. A large number of ministers are In attend
ance. Tbe conference will remain In session for
several days.
A Political Misfit.
From tbe Peoria Transcript.
The Ohio .Democratic State Convention
nearly went wild every timeOrovcr Cleveland's
name was mentioned. And yet their resolu
tions declared in favor ot free silver coinage.
DEATHS OF A DAY.
Hon. Edward W..TwItcbeII.
rsrrciAi.TXi.ica bam to ns dispatch, t
Enrx. Beptemberll .Hon. Edward W. TwitcheU
died to-day at his residence In Edlnboro, at the
age of 71. The deceased was born In Massachu
setts, and came to Erie county when a boy. He
was a member of tbe Pennsylvania Legislature
dnrlngthe late war, ana was one of tbe first Ke-
Fiubllcans In this section of tbe country. He
ounded the Edlnboro Savings Dank and was its
President. He was a trustee of the Edlnboro
State formal School for a quarter of a century.
William Knrpprr.
Mr. William Knenper. the well-known veteri
nary surgeon of Third avenue, died at tbe West
Penn Hospital yesterday after a brief lUncss. Mr.
Unepper was known by almost every horseman In
the city, having been In the business for a num
ber of years. His former home was at Weils
vllle, O.
- OUR SH0RJST0RIES.
HE HAD HEARD ENOUGH.
T"Wo nights after the completion of tho telo
phone line between FarnvIUe and Hamp
den Sidney, Va., one Of tbe largest tobacco
warehouses In Firnville wasburned. Tho fire
was thought to be the work of in incendiary.
Next morning a cezro man with abad reputa
tion and very little- sense went into the tele
phone office
"W'utsdatar thing you's talkin' inter, Mr.
Blanton?" '
'That's a telephone."
"Er tell you.w'atr
"A thing to talk into. You just ask it any
thing 70a want to know and It tells It."
"Is dat sot I done hyard 'bout dat conversa
tion hangln' up on de wall, but I aln' knowed
it could tell all dem tningsr
"Oh. yes; I am busy now, but if you will
como back in an hour, I'll get it to tell you who
burned the warehouse."
"I dinco ez 1 got time fer dat."
"Well, you'd better take time, or I'll think
you did It."
As soon as Sam left, Blahton called ud the
other end, described the negro and gave the
operator the tip.
Sam came back in an bour. the Hampden
Sidney operator was called up, aud Bam put
the bell to bis ear. This was what he heard:
"The person that burned the Planter's ware
house last night is a ginger-cake colored negro,
five feet ten Inches high, little finger gone from
left hand" Sam's eyes began to bulge "one
front tooth gone, wears a mustache and goatee,
has three children, has been in jail for Btcaliug
sheep from Major Venable, and his name is
Sam."
With a wild yell and eyes starting out of his
head. Sam bolted from the room, jumped on a
passing freight train, and never came back to
claim the reward offered for him. ...
THIS RAPID AGE.
i(TOESoolove 00 mammy?" murmured the
fond mother to her flaxen-haired 2-year-old.
The baby squirmed.
"Oo's mammy's itst-bltsy-tootsy-cootsy, Isn't
00?"
The baby squirmed again.
"And 00 loves 00 mammy jnsser lot, mammy's
little baby."
The baby threw up its hands. "Ob, come
off," it yelled, "don't you see I'm right in the
midst of the 'Kreutzer bonata.' Now don't
disturb me again."
AN OCEAN DIARY.
T rvEBPOOL, August 7. Princes' landing
stage crowded. Met heaps of friends.
Feel refreshed and hopeful. Went on board'
at 11:30a. m. Asked an officer what time we
should start, "'Ow the 'arry do Hi know?"
Red-headed officer with big whiskers. In bad
humor. Don't expect to be seasick this time.
Took six compound cathartic pills three days
ago. Have mixture of bromide potash and
chloral hydrate. Can't fool me. Understand
all about mat demer. Nervous affection of
cerebellum. Quiet cerebral action and keep
stomach full. Use will power. Got lots of it
on band. Have good time, you bet. Just start
ing 2 P. ar. Bed-beaded officer got mad at
men and had slight apoplexy. Doctor bled
htm in the neck. Went to bed at 10 A. M. in St.
George's Channel. (On board ship, of course.)
August 8. Slight headache. Too much
champagne last night. Ship steamed into
Queenstown at 10 A. v. Legs feel weak. Took
dose bromide and chloral. Fried bacon for
breakfast. Sailed again at noon. Red-headed
officer all O. K. Got up dancing party for deck
in evening. Tall girl, black hair, seems strnck on
me. Never flirt Won'tdo. Married. Hop didn't
materialize, but fog did. Captain on bridge.
Passengers Beared. Old lady wanted to be put
ashore, Conldn't oblige. Two hundred miles
out at sea. Ship begins to labor. Knees weak.
headlight. More bromide. Goodnight. 12:30,
can't sleep. Fog whistle blowing. Engine
stops every minute. All still. Seems like
maritime catacombs. Everybody so silent.
Ask ccok, who passes with hot coffee for
captain, if there is any danger. Says good
many ships lost just here. Take a little brandy.
Feel better. Sleep at last, and dream of mer
maids without eyes, choking me to death at
bottom of ocean. Wake up with sheet twisted
round neck.
August 9 Clear sky. Full speed. On deck 6
A M. Walk forward to inspect steerage.
Smell coffee aud chloride of lime. Walk to
extreme bow of ship. Get on turtle back.
Ship dips deep. Terrible pressure on top of
head, and then extreme light feeling. Bromfde
in stateroom. Sea gets back up. Feel little
bilious. Guess lie down. Sea looks yellow.
Must be color blind. Thought it was blue.
August 10 Little better. Steward brought
breakfast. Gave him a V and tbe breakfast
too. Lie in bed writing this. Can't retain
bromide. Not Its fault. Panacea if can Keep
it down. Sunday morning service just going
on. Singing 'Land of rest for thee I sigh.' You
bet I do. Feel homesick. Chloral cannot cure
it. Never want to eat again.
August 11 Doctor promises to embalm my
body and deliver it to wife.
August 12 Have thrown up everythins.
Heart is in throat. Expect to choke before
night.
August IS Steward too bnsy to attend to
me. Got blm to unlock grip and get out clean
shirt. Paid him 0 to lay mo out when I am
gone. Bid him final farewell! Ob, my poor
witel
August 11 Still alive, but very weak. Took
little gruel. Fog again. Heard cook say we
were on the banks. If ever I get on a bank
again that settles if. No more sea for me. Lay
in bed all day nibbling at a red herring. Get
up and put shirt in grip again.
August 15 Better this morning. Took a nip
of whisky and went on deck. Beautifnl morn
ing. How majestic the oceanl With what
magnificent sweep the gallant ship dashes
through the billows! Music and mirth forward,
aft and amidships. How jolly to be a sailor
boy and proudly plow the main. Feel awful
hungry. Venture to speak to red-headed officer
again. Give him a cigar. Asks me Into his
room. He takes a swig of whisky with me.
Bully fellow, after all. Swears splendidly
every other word. Says sailors don't know any
other language. Doesn't mean anything, any
how. Respects religion and churches. Wife
is a church member. Just the tightest little
lass you ever saw. "Hyes like sloes, and a 'ed
like one of Hangelo's hangels."
August 15 Expect to see land in the morn
ing. Cant understand why people make such
a fuss about seasickness. Thought of writing
a story while at sea. but too much fun for that.
Sea is not a good place for literary work. Good
place to stndy human nature. Individual weak
nesses develop. Just heard that baromoter was
sinking. What an experience a bang-up storm
would be.
August 10 Shall never forget last night.
Terrific hurricane sent off American coast by
a New York newspaper. Said to be bonnd for
England. Will shake up tne British. Lost two
lifeboats during night and did not stop to pick
them up. Red-headed officer peeped Into my
room and says: "My hyes, this is a tuff 'an.
mister." Lightning played around ship all
night. Wondered why lightning couldn't go to
work and not spend all its time claying. Stood
on bead and feet alternately every minute for
six hours. Not quite sure of location of brains
yet. Might be araidship according to activity
in that latitude. Clear sky this morning. All
O.'K." TVhat'sthatT Land ahead. Welcome,
welcome. Folks rushing on deck. Here goes!
TIEO A SMOOTH KNOT.
An Eastern minister was being told by a
Kansas man of the way horse thieves were
hung in that prohibition State in the early days!
His description was graphic, for to use his own
words, tho Kansas man had "been there and
helped skin 'em."
."Were there no ministers in. tbe country
then?" inquired the Eastern reverend.
"One," was the answer. "We usually took
blm along with us."
To offer spiritual counsel to ' the poor
wretches. 1 suppose. His comforting words
must have been gratef nl, indeed, to tbe doomed
men."
"Well, I dunno. We took him along mostly
because he could tie a little the slickest hang
man's knot of anyone in the community. You
bet bis nooses die), work smooth.'
SORTS NEEDED AT ONCE.
i'IX7HAT's all this?' demanded the astonished
foreman of the Texas newspaper office to
the new editor who bad come on from Yale
College to take charge of the paper. "You say
no profanity is ever to be printed in this sheet
hereafter?"
"That is exactly what I said," .replied the
new editor. "Not one profane word shall ever
appear in tbe columns of the ftanchmarit
Broadaxe while lam at its head."
"Then when we como across cus3 words in
court reports or a local write-up of some scrap
pin' affair, what are we goln' to do?"
"Use dashes, sit. Use three-era dathes."
"Byjlngsfgrnmbledthe foreman. "You'll
have to order 23 pounds ot three-em dashes by
telegraph or we can't come ont this week. Yon
don't know this community!"
DISCTJSSTNG THE BILL.
dltorlal Comment of the Toronto Papers on
i. afMTrt..i m.-trnni
i iui .i.wi.iuic.7 lanuuin
Toronto, September It All the papers this
doming discuss the passage of the McKicley
bflL The Empire (Government organ) says:
"There is no reason wny Canada should be
despondent, though some of the changes in the
tariff raise the duties on our exnorts to the
U tilted States. Our country cannot be crushed
by such action on theimt of our neighbors.
IJBon whom we are not dependent. Even if we
were uepnvea 01 tneir market mere are omers
where wo may find eager purchasers and con
sumers. The inimical attitude assumed by the
United States in regard to onr commercial re
lations may prove to be Canada's opportunity.
With a little enterprise we may seoure now
channels of trade and fill tbe position which
tie United States has forfeited by its paraded
hostility."
ITbe Globe (Liberal) says: "It must be clear
ti the blindest worshipper of the national pol
icy that it will go bard with us If tbe cost of
living and of producing is reduced to a lower
figure in the United States than here. Our re
striction Is, the friends may talk as they like,
abont the advisibillty of making this self-contained
community entirely independent of any
other. That feat might ba achieved without
rpuch risk If we lived on a planet all by our
selves, or occupied a comparatively isolated po
sition on tbls earth, like Australia or Pitcairn
llland. As it is, nature has attached us to tbe
American continent, and there we remain.
Tbe smuggler might temper the wind to the
shorn, the people, to some extent, but in tbe
cad nothing could prevent a wholesale flight of
capital and labor from the moro heavily to the
less heavily taxed sido of the line. And this is
an tbe more certain in view of the diminution
in values of the products of the soil which is
likely to result from the application of the Mc
Klnley tariff to our agricultural exports."
The Mail (Independent) says: "For the
present we cannot expect even limited reciproc
ity. It is, however, reasonable to expect that
In time American opinion, which favors free
relations, will be able to assert itself. There
are forces making for more friendly policy in
the United States, just as there are such forces
here. Only a few days ago both parties in
Canada declared for reciprocity negotiations
on tbe Sherman lines. This was an advance
for one ot the two organizations. In the
United States the light will yet break."
NO W0NDEB HE SWORE.
People Cannot Stand Having; Their Toei
Tramped on Under Any Clrcumitnnces.
An East End cable car was crowded tbe
other day, and with ono exception every one in
it was tired warm and cross.
The men were In that bellgerent condition
that fatigue and heat usually results in with
them and did not with any alacrity give no
their seats to the fair ones, who In their tnrn
expressed on their faces the contempt they
felt- for the sturdy-sex. Handkerchiefs were
in constant-use to remove tbe great beads of
perspiration that in spite of everything would
gather upon the brows ot all alike.
In one corner near the door was the excep
tion, a portly gentleman of pleasing address,
whose face was a mirror of all the cardinal
virtues and the happiness and contentment
shining out from the mild blue eyes made mad
with envy tho sweltering humanity who gazed
upon him. A burly mechanic started for tbe
door andonhls way planted one ot his very sub
stantial extensive feet npon a neatly polished
shoe of tbe saintly individual.
The Indian warwhoop that resounded
through the car frightened the mechanic into
an exit more rapid than graceful, while the
benign-looking personage picked up his foot,
and. nursing it gently, proceeded to discharge
a volley of oaths that would have discounte
nanced a professional, much to the surprise of
tbe passengers and the conductor, who in
dulged in audible laughter that further en
raged the old gentleman until tbe glances of
indignation and anger he turned upon them
were far more penetrating than tbe rays ot Old
SoL
AN OLD-FASHIONED SPELLING BEE
To be Held In Wllklnsbura for the Good of
n Church.
There'will be fun galore at the residence of
Mr. A. Laufman, Wood 'street, Wilkinsburg,
tbi3 evening. Tbe ladles of the M. E. Church
have made arrangements for an old-fashioned
spelling bee, and as it Is open to tbe public it
is expected there will be plenty of contestants
besides some fearful and wonderful orthorg
rapby and orthoepy. Several prizes will be
offered, and refreshments will be served. The
proceeds will be devoted to the furnishing fund
of the church.
Welcoming Cleveland to Massachusetts.
From the Boston Globe. ,
The Hon. Grover Cleveland may now be
counted fairly as a resident of the best State
In tbe Union. His sojourn, and that of Mrs.
Cleveland, on Massachusetts ground covers
three summers, and his recent purchase of
shore property in this State shows that it is bis
intention to reside here during a considerable
part of the year.
Should he adopt this State as his legal resi
dence, Massachusetts people, without much re
gard to party, would feel proud of their dis
tinguished fellow citizen.
A Fins for Mt. RIocGregor Cottage.
Saratoga. September 1L A flag purchased
by Post Wheeler, G. A. R., was to-day pre
sented to the Mt. MacGregor Memorial Asso
ciation. Tbe members of the post, as escort to
the Saratoga Veteran Association, went np to
tbe mountain and with imposing military cere
monial unfurled the flag over the cottage in
which Geneal Grant died.
Too flinch 10 Hope Por.
Prom the Chicago N ews. 3
Tbe latest trust is in sealskins. There are
some husbands who would be glad if the seal
fisheries would give out entirely.
THE TABTFF BILL,
New York World (Dem.): The Demo
cratic Senators have done well. They have
debated the tariff bill and voted against it. The
responsibility for its passage rests with the
Republicans.
Philadelphia Inquirer (Rep.): Upon the
whole the bill is in line with Republican policy.
Its general tendency Is In favor of an increased
protection on all articles tbat can be produced
in tbe United States, aud free admission to such
commodities as we cannot prodnco here, and
which do cot in any way interfere with our
homo industries.
Buffalo Ezprest (Rep.): Tho Senate
passed the McKinley bill, having first adopted
the reciprocity amendment recently intro
duced by Senator Aldrich. The bill has been
thoroughla discussed since it came from the
House. It has been amended in minor particu
lars, but tbe main features of the original
measures are retained. Reciprocity Is the
only important change, and this was made
without Imperiling the principle of protection.
New York Tribune (Rep.): Th3 bill will
now go to a Conference Cdmmlttee of seven
from each House, with reasonable certainty
tbat it will be speedily passed with some modi
fications. The Tribune earnestly urges the
members of tbe committee to do their utmost
to remove such shortcomings and defects as
still remain, that tbe bill may be recognized by
Republicans in all part of the country as alto
gether the wisest and best tariff ever framed
in this country.
Philadelphia Press (Rep.): The Repub
lican party has kept faith with the cation. It
promised to revise, the tariff, keeping in view
the American system of protection, and it has
done so. The final vote in the Senate makes
the bill safe beyond all question. It now goes to
a conference committee composed of members
of both tbe Senate and House for concurrence
in tbe Senate amendments. An agreement will
be arrived at in a few days, and, with tbe sig
nature 01 -resiuem xiarrison, tne law will go
upon the statute books, '
. Philadelphia Record (Dem.) Until the
bill shall be printed probably none can tell Its
exact purport. Free sugar has been eliminated
from tbe bill, and the system of bounties
widened. Tbe form of reciprocity covered by
the Aldrich amendment will be a particularly
repulsive feature of tbe amended bill for the
Keed following in tbe House to swallow.
What form tbe monster will have when It shall
have emerged from the hands of the Confer
ence Committee it Is impossible to conjecture,
and all discussion is at random.
New York Sun (Dem.) The Aldrich
amendment, embodying tbe reciprocity issue
on which Mr. Blaine has practically declared
himself as acand!datefortbe next Republic
an nomination for President, cow goes to the
House, wbera it runs squarely acalnst tbo
tariff policy of Mr. Reed. Mr. McKinley and
their Committee on Ways and Means. The
impact means either defeat for the Secretary
or surrender for the Speaker. The two policies.
,so far as they affect tbo future political fortunes
01 tne two nrais, are irreconcuamy nostuo.
SNAP SHOTSjN SEASON,
If we had no secrets Dame Rumor would
starve to death.
You have probably noticed the electric clocks
which have lately become quito numerous
in Pittsburg. Perhaps you think they are run
solely by lightning. Such is not tbe case. Tbe
electric company furnishes the correct time,
but the running apparatus Is clock work. Two
small batteries in the top of the case furnish
powerto a little motor placed undemeath-th
works. This motor winds tbe clock every hour.
The telegraph wire sets the clock every 12
hours. Before this can bo accomplished tbe
clock most be so regulated as'hot to vary more
than a minute either way. If over this limit
the clock must be set by hand: if under, the
electricity does the -work. These clocks are
rented nut for SI a month. You can buy clocks
with battery ana motor attachment for
home use, but without the electric time service,
for $15 up. This is pretty high time, but you
will never have to break one of tho Ten Com
mandments while hunting a key, as they are
self-winding.
People who are wedded to dirt breed disease.
Neither beggars nor tramps are asking for
quarters or dimes in Pittsburg. This is a sign
of good times.
The days and nights balance each other all
over the world now, while the sun Is leaving us
for a six-months' tour in the Southern declina
tion. Old Sol shouldn't be so hot about leaving
ns, though.
If ghosts walked, the records on a great
many tombstones would be defaced.
Chicago has picked out a fair site, and New
York has selected tbe Grant monument plan.
Sow let out the contracts and go to work.
You can teach a dog pride, bnt if he's not
blooded he'll act like a cur.
WE will bear from Maine for some time to
come. One bang from Bangor will cot unhorse
Blaine, M. Boutello. '
Miss Carpenter, the pretty Yankee fid
dler, has jilted a London swell and placed her
self nnder Dr. Whistler's wing. Her favorite
tune must be: "Oh, Whistle, and I'll Come to
You, My Lad."
Clever tact will win in business and clever
tacking will win a yacht race.
Flowers will bloom on the grave of the
sinner as well as on tbe grave of the Christian.
The deepest well furnishes the clearest
water.
The mangled tariff Dill is through the Sen
ate. It now goes to the rippers in the Confer
ence Committee room. It just suits tbe Cob
den Clubbers to let 'er rip, but the people will
remember the tinkerers when voting time
comes.
If it never stormed there would bo no rain
bows. The moon will be f nil on tbe 28th, two days
after its nearest approach to the earth for the
month. If Cynthia would keep furtber away
from this distillery-dotted planet she wouldn't
get full every month.
The best way to settle the baseball war is to
keep away from the games.
The country
overcrowded.
is sate when the schools are
New brass is brighter than gold, but it won't
stand handling.
Travelers long ago shattered the tomb of
Romeo and Juliet, but it remained tor Dr.
Depew to pull out bis tape-line and take meas
urements of the balcony where the poor things
cooed while old Mr. and Mrs. Capulet snored.
Our Chauncey finds it too high for a sighing
Borneo to reach without an extension ladder.
In other words he politely calls Shakespeare a
fakir.
If tbe devil were dying, a
run for the doctor.
monk would not
The nervous man
head. "
can't hit a nail on the
Make the Allegheny wharf a playground. It
belongs to tne people, cot to tbe teamsters, the
scrap iron men and tbe junk dealers.
A swarf can draw as big a crowd as a
giant.
Wht not make the old Block House tbe
nucleus of a historical museum? Pittsburg is
rich in relics which should be preserved.
Precious links binding tbe past to tbe present
are stored in garrets and lumber rooms. They
can be bad for the asking, too.
The laughing baby may make a melancholy
man.
A woman has sued one of tbe railway com
panies for (be loss of ber husband and a hand
bag. She can replace the one. but not the
other, so it's easy to guess which she values
most.
Don't bet on tbe tips furnished by political
tipsters. There are no jockles to fix in election
races, and sometimes voters are dirt cheap.
The fellow who blows the biggesthom in the
band doesn't draw tbe highest salary.
People who purchase piety fear death more
than those who beg It
Cupid is sometimes eucheredat progressive
card parties.
The sentence, "Pack my box with five dozen
liquor jugs," contains every letter of the
alphabet.' If you fill the order, however, you
will forget your A. B. CS.
TnE New York Tribune says there was
neither skulking nor sulking in the ranks of
tbe Republicans in Maine. If tbe editor of the
Tribune hart asked Central to give him tbe
Bangor Whiff, perhaps he would have "killed"
his paragraph.
THE jolly hazer is getting in his work at the
colleges already. Nip him in the bud.
Girls with thin arms look well in double
puff sleeves. Tbey also look well on the arm of
a manly man. ,
Burleigh came out of the Maine woods
with a burly majority.
People are fleeing from black fleas up in
Massachusetts.
When a thought strikes you don't ward it
off.
The man who can guess bow tbe wasp-waisted
women of to-day get into their corsets could
call the turn on the weather.
If hell is paved with good intentions Satan
must wear spiked shoes.
When school children are turned loose in the
Exposition, exhibitors tremble. The little ones
should not bo barred, bnt they should be
watched.
Mant ladies loudly complain about the un
manly manner in which tbe grip car conduc
tors grip them under the armpits while getting
on and off tbe cars. Some day a big brother or
an angry husband will give them a lesson in
politeness.
The New York World the other day pub
lished verbatim reports of all tho police court
proceedings. If its readers did not glance at
the headlines they probably thought Cannon
had exploded again in Congress.
The scandal that will raise an actress' salary
will break a poor girl's heart.
Willie Winkle.
A Terr Tired Couniry.
From the St. Louis Republic. J
It will take a very large whitewash brush to
cover Pension!Agont Lemon's admission that
bo obtained $12,000 on bis credit for Pension
Commissioner Raum the day after Raum bad
reversed tbe deputy commissioner and made
the ruling demanded by Lemon in tbo Interest
ot bis business. It Is a "business-matter en
tirely," of course, but tho country does not like
such business.
SOME POPULAR TOPICS
To be Yoicd on bv VUltom lo tbe Expos!,
lion Tho Qarstlon of Countrj Bonds
and Klrctrocutlos to be Balloted For
The Prize Essay Topic. '
For the last two days' voting at the Expos!.
Hon this week The Dispatch has chosen
two popular topics. Visitors can vote Yes or
No at The Dispatch headquarters, in the
Brunswirk-Balke-Collender Billiard Company's
space. Write your names in tbe Poll Bookand
register your vote for or against the following
qnestions:
FRIDAY'S VOTING TOPIC
Should the State Supervise and Aid Country
Road Building? Open to Lady and Gentle
men Voters.
SATURDAY'S YOUNG TOPIC.
Should Electrocution be Substituted for
Hanging In Pennsylvania? Open to Lady
and Gentlemen Voters.
Tbls Week' Prize E.iny Offer.
Tbe Prize Essay contest tbls week is open to
all writers except those regularly employed on
the staffs of Pittsburg newspapers. Frizes
will be awarded for the best article on "The
Benefits of the Exposition to Pitts
burq." For tbe best contribution on tho above topic
The Dispatch will award a prize of
TWEKTY-FIVE DOLLARS.
For the Second Prize The Dispatch will
award a Ten-Dollab Gold Piece.
For the Third Prize The Dispatch will award
a Five-Dollar Gold Piece,
the conditions.
Each article must make at least 1,200 and not
more than 1,500 w-n'
Competitions must ba written legibly, on one
side of the paper only, and must be labeled,
"The DlSPATcn Prize Essay Contest."
Contributions must be left at The Dispatch
Headquarter3,BrunswIck-Ba)ke-CollenderCo.'s
space. Exposition Buildings.
Correct name, address and age of contestant
must accompany MSS., came only for publica
tion if successful.
The Dispatch reserves the right to publish
any contribution, whether it be awarded a prize
or not.
Tbe Prize Essay Contest for this week
will close with the Exposition on Saturday
night. September 11
Sonvenirs for Lady Voters. Watch these
columns for future prize offerings and, topical
voting announcements.
WEBEE-SCHMLDT.
Tbe Marriage Followed bv a Bnnqnct nnd
Reception.
The marriage of Mr. George Weber and
Miss Emma Schmidt was solemnized at the
parsonage or the Voegtley German Lutheran
Church, on Ohio street, Allegheny, last even
ing. After tbe ceremony was performed tbe
party repaired to Teutonia Hall.on Pike street,
wbere a reception and banquet was given a
large party of the friends of tbe contracting
paitles. Dancing was tbe order of the even
ing and was kept up until a late hour.
Mr. Weber is foreman of Charles Rich's
cigar factory and lives on Bluff street, and Miss
Schmidt is a well-known young lady of James
A QDTET WEDDING.
Air.
John Wlngenroth United In Marriage
to MIh Ella Eglenon.
A quiet wedding took place in Wilkinsburg
last evening. Mr. John Wingenrotb, very well
known in Wilkinsburg, was joined for life to
Miss Ella Egleson. of Hannahstown, in tbe
presence of tbe friends of tbe two families at
tbe Lutheran church. Rev. Mr. Freeman, tbe
pastor, performed the ceremony.
In consequence of recent deaths in Mr.
Wingenroth's family the wedding was not
made a public one. The young couple will re
side in Wilkinsburg on tbe old Wingenrotb
homestead.
Always Come Cp Smiling.
Prom tho Philadelphia Ledger.
There never was an 'election from which a
Democrat could not draw some consolation.
Maine furnishes a fresh example., Tbe Demo
crats have gained some members in tbe State
Senate and House. There are now only seven
times as many Republicans as Democrats in
the Senate, and in the House the proportion
has been reduced to three Republicans for one
Democrat.
Choten by All.
New York, September 1L At the meeting
of tbe Grant Monument Association to-day
the Execntlre Committee officially announced
John H. Duncan as their choice of architects
to design tbe memorial structure. The asso
ciation unanimously indorsed the selection.
Work In Another Field.
NASnviLLE, Tenn., September 11. Rev. J.
J. Tigert, D. D Professor In the Biblical De
partment of Vanderbilt University, has re
signed tbat position. Dr. Tigert has been se
lected as pastor of a church in Kansas City,
A Bigaer IHnn Tbnn Reed.
From tbe Louisville Courier-Journal.
Thomas B. Boed is not tbe greatest man
America has produced. A Mr. Cornelius, who
lived in Pennsylvania some years ago. bad a
circumference of eight feet and two inches be
low the waist. .
Forcoltrn by Its Author.
PrOm the Chicago Tribune.
Tbat essay on the subject "Honesty is tbe
Best Policy," written by Jay Gould when he
was a young and tender school boy, mnst seem
exceedingly vealy to blm as be looks over It
now.
STATE POLITICAL NOTES.
The nomination of Lee for Congress, would
tend to strengthen the Republican ticket. So
would the nomination of Stone. Oil City
Ulizzard.
The declaration of some 50 Philadelphia kid
gloved Mugwumps, who say they will support
Pattlson instead of Delamater, amounts to
nothing, as they are without political Influence.
Johnstown Tribune.
Political indicatlrns in Pennsylvania:
Rapidly falling barometer for Republicans;
cyclone forming in western part of State that
wiir sweep the Commonwealth and cause gen
eral disaster to the g. o.p. early In November.
Bradford Era.
H. L. Foster, of OH City, in a published
card, says he Is not an aspirant, and therefore
declines to run for Congressional honors. Mr.
Foster is President of the Oil City Oil Ex
change and also President of the Pennsylvania
Ballot Reform Association.
Senator QUATis maklngthepolitlcal effort
of bis life. Ho feels that he is under obliga
tions to carry Pennsylvania for tbe Republic
ans by the usual majority in an off year. The
State convention indorsed him, and now he
feels that be must return to bis party as good
as it gave. Kansas Star.
The Republican organs are in a dilemma.
They cannot call tbe men who issued the
Independent address cranks, because tbo sign
ers of tbat address are men of caliber and pos
sess an influence in politics which the organs
cannot destroy, however much they may desire
to do so. Williamsport Sun.
We suggest that Wolfe, Losch and Emery
start a party of their own, as all tbe other
parties are too corrupt for these immaculate
gentlemen. Wolfe is troublod with Quay
phobia, Loscb is afflicted wtth Cameronphobia,
and Emery goes Into spasms at the mere men
tion of tbe name of Delamater. Clearfield
Journal.
Straight-out Republican papers are mak
ing labored attempts to Induce their readers to
bcllove tbat the Independent movement In the
State of Pennsylvania in this year ot grace,
1890, don't amount to shucks. Next November
these same papers will be trying to explain tbat
they didn't know the old thing was loaded.
Alloona Mirror;
The Lincoln Independent Republican Com
mittee of Philadelphia has issued an address
to the people ot Pennsylvania urging tbe elec
tion of Pattlson and tbe defeat of Delamater
for Governor of Pennsylvania. The committee
is composed of exceptionally respected and In
fluential men, embracing leading pulpit teach
ers, leading "lawyers, leading manufacturers,
leading merchants and leading" business men.
Detroit Free' Press, Dem.
CDKI0US CONDENSATIONS.
Athens, Ga.,has a cat that weighs
13
pounds.
A ililford, N. J., farmer wears a pair
of spectacles that he claims are 150 years old.
Within the last tveo days Springfield,
Mass.. has become Infested with swarms of
black fleas.
It is enrions that there are no direct
descendants of Napoleon, Wellington, Wash
ington or Walter Scotr.
One hundred swallows, by actual count,
took up a nfcht's Inrtclnc In a rhlmnev at Wav.
J cross. Ga., a few nights ago.
A lad of 7, in Morristown, N. J., was
choked to death Sunday by a peanut shell
which lodged In his windpipe.
-One police court in New York in three
honrs on Monday disposed of 120 cases-anaT
erage of a minute and a half to each case.
Crews from five different vessels at
tended prayer meeting on the deck of a mack
erel schooner at Portland, Me., on Sunday.
Locks were used by the Egyptians,
Greeks, Romans and Chinese. Du Cangs
mentions locks and padlocks as early as 138L
It is not generally known in fact,
popular prejudice rather points the other way
that the last carriage in a railway train is the
safest.
Mrs. F. P. Richardson, of South
Branch, Mlcb., left a tub of boiling water
standing on two chairs. She returned to find
the tub overturned and her 2-year-old son
scalded so terribly that he died.
On the occasion of the recent fete at the)
country seat of a wealthy woman all the cows
on the estate wore necklaces of wido yellow
satin ribbon, and hid their horns tied with
narrower ribbon of the same color.
A. E. Scranton, the West Branch,
Mlcb.. trapper, during tbe last season killed 4
deer, 2 otter. 2 beaver. 24 red foxes, 17 grav
foxes. 2 cross foxes, 40 minks, 50 coons, 20
skunks, 50 musKrats and 3 bears.
A bride from Flint, Mich.,visited Libby
prison in Chicago, and found ber father's namo
cut in a window sill of the place. CRFord
was the prisoner who thus left his mark In the
vile place, where he spent ten months.
A Boston iceman said that usually it
cost tbe producer to cut, haul and bonse lea
about 12 cents a ton. At 20 cents a ton ice may
be cnt and boused in a new icehouse, tbe cost
Of tbe ice included. Samn dlffdronrn hAtwoen
this and the 311 which ice now cost3 at re
tail. Mr. E. L. Brigham, of Worcester,
Mass., who has made a reputation for himself
as a whittler, has nearly completed his master
piece in tbat line. It is a model of a summer
bonse. stands about 12 inches high and is about
six incbe? square. It was all cut from a block
of white wood nine inches high.
The latest scheme for a charitable insti
tution in New York is a hospital for itinerant
cats and harmless dogs, lho scheme Is fos
tered by several charitably Inclined women
who have witnessed the persecution to which
these animals have been subjected, and it has
at last assumed a definite shape and will now
in all probability be carried out to their utmost
satisfaction.
The Indians near Elk Rapids, Mich.,
cannot be persuaded to cross Bass Lake in win
ter or summer, and although it Is full of the
best fish they never will cast in Its waters. Tbey
have a legend that many moons ago, while
fishing In the lake, one of their cumber was
seized and borne beneath its dark waters by a
great, big. horrid monster, just like the ono
claimed to have been seen this season by sev
eral parties.
A Toccoa, Ga., man is totally blind,
and bas been so from a babe a few weeks' old.
Although he received no education he pos
sesses unusual intelligence and can solve diffi
cult mathematical problems, giving the month
and year in which a person was born, tell tbe
day of the week: can tell day from night by the
atmosphere, and when traveling can tell when
he Is passing objects some distance from tbo
roadside, such as a house or a tree.
Archduchess Valerie, the recently mar
ried daughter of tbe Emperor and Empress of
Austria. Is staying with her husband at the
Hotel Victoria, at Interlaxen. Switzerland.
Thouuh their rank is known among tbe guests,
they dine at the table d'hote and spend their
evenings In tbe reading room. The Arch
duchess gains many admirers by her gentle
ness and simplicity. Tbe young people tak
long walks on tne monntains every day.
One of the soldiers at Fort Preble, Me.,
who has nearly completed bis term of service,
got crazy drunk at Portland the other day,
bad an altercation with a man and blacked bis
eye, and then took the ferry boat for tbe
Cape. On the way he began to throw silver
overboard and followed it up with bills until
be bad thrown some HO overboard. Then be
flung over his coat and was about to follow
with bis other garments when he was arrested.
'K F. Holsten, of New York, enjoyed an
unusual experience Monday night. He Is an
agent of the Retail Grocers' Union, and at a
meeting of tbat body a motion was made to
raise his salary from $75 to SICO a month. Then
Mr. Holsten arose and declared tbat he had no
knowledge tbat such a motion was to be made,
and that he was satisfied with his present pay,
and that he didn't want an increase. Tbe
union, thereupon, with great, unanimity, re
solved to respect Mr. Holsten's wishes.
Among the interesting visitors at Bar
Harbor this summer has been a Bulgarian, Mr.
Stoyan K. Vatralsky. He was converted to
Christianity through the efforts of a missionary
who visited bis Eastern home, and cams
to America to complete bis education, giving
lectures on Bulgaria to defray bis expenses.
He will retnrn to endeavor to raise bis country
men in civilization by means of articles In the
local press on American institutions. Several
ot his articles liavo already appeared, with en
couraging results.
Indians, about 300 of them, have been in
camp for ten days at Athens, Mich., trying to
get converted according to the civilized way.
Wakazoo, daughter of Chief Petnskey, led tho
singing, and an Interpreter put the words into
the red man's dialect. The day services ara
quiet and subdued, and nothing differs ma
terially from a qniet Methodist meeting. But
when darkness gathers round, tbe natives,
recognizing tbe forest as their native home,
are again in their original state, and their wor
ship is of tbe wildest kind. Women scream,
dance, swing their arms and work themselves
into such a state of excitement tbat tbey fre
quently fall Into semi-consciousness.
BREAKFAST TABLE GOSSIP.
Little Boy I say, mister, do you know
why yon are IUe water?
Fat Mm No. my little boy, I do not.
Because neither or yon can run np bill. Span
Moment.
Mrs. Bellows How can you claim, Mr.
Bellows, that I did the proposing when we became
engaged?
Sir. liellows You might as well have done It,
You said you were of a short-lived stock and had
f J),(03 In your own right. A'eio Xark Herald.
A Great Change. "Yes, Hardcase has
turned out to be a wonderful preacher. It Is hard
to realize that he was on tht stage ten years. "
"An actor, eh?"
No, driver." Drake's Magazine.
Gnest I'm glad there's a rope here is
case of fire; bnt what Is the Idea of puttlnga Blblt
In the room In such a prominent position?
Bell Boy Dat am Intended fob nse, sab, In case
the fire am too far advanced fob you to make yob.
escape, sah. Pue.
Wickwire How yellowyon are, YabsleyJ
There mnst have been some malaria where you.
spent your vacation.
Yabsley No: Just plain chills and fever. Ton
don't expect a man to get malaria for S7 a week,
do you? Puc.
Chawles Ah, my deah Miss Flirt, May
L you know, ahsk you what It is you find so amus
ing? illss nirt-lwas Just reading, Mr. Gasp, an Item
I thought miht Interest yon.
Chawles indeed. I am dellrhted. 70a know.
What Is It?
Miss Flirt It says that a Dr. Thompson has Jusl
made a successful experiment in brain grafting.-.
Chicago Times.
He Had Pitched League Manager (to
applicant) What makes you think yon would
make a good pitcher? You say you have never
played ball.
Applicant Ihave worked In a tar factory all my
life. Drake's Magazine.
Vaii Bibber Who is captain of the Chi
cago players' club Hood?
Brother Hood That's a fine question for yon to
ask, considering that yon're tbe editor of a sport
ing paper.
Van Bibber Excuse me, my friend, my paper
Is not a snorting sbeet; It Is s Prohibition organ.
The drinks are on you.-1 think. Puck.
TWILIOHT SHADOWS.
When you're strolling in the evening
With your best girl, 'neatb the trees
That line tho moonlight promenade
And murmur In the breeze;
Oh. do not bo discouraged
If she makes your life a wreck-
It's nothing but a eaterpll.
Lar crawling down her neck.
Washington Star.
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