Pittsburg dispatch. (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, July 12, 1890, Page 4, Image 4

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THE PITTSBTJBQ DISPATCH, SATUBDAY, JULY " 12, 1890.
PAGES Lh11 DlSPATcH PAGES
foh to-moruov
will be lakge but newsy.
its twenty pages
will hold 160 columns
of standard reading matter.
Lhe Special features
embhacet every topic.
the magnificent
South JPenn yy reok
"WILL AWAKSN PUBLIC INTEREST.
SPECIAL CABLES.
FULL BALL SCORES.
SPECIAL NEWS SERVICE.
ALL THE LOCAL SEWS.
SOME OF THE CONTRIBUTIONS
TO TO-MORROWS DISPATCH
ARE GIVEN HEREWITH.
THEY ARE ALL HIGH CLASS
AND WERE
NEVER BEFORE IN PRINT.
rjm
E SOUTH FENN RUINS,
L. E. BTOFIEX-
TTANDSOME CHARTIERS VALLEY.
II W. O. KAtrFXAXK.
ENGLAND'S CONGO STATE,
George W. Wtm.tams.
DEMOCRATIC PROSPECTS FOR '93.
Charles T. mdbbay.
IN THE DARK,
De. Philip Woolt.
STANLEY'S EARLV LOVE At FAIRS.
Edvakd Bunnell Phelps.
TJUZZLES FOR THE CHILDREN.
J. E. It CHABCOUKN.
A LITTLE BOY'S GREED,
TAYSIE.
mHE GOSSIP OF GOTHAM,
J claba Bells.
COZY .STORE BUILDING.
11. W. SnorPEix.
HOW TO DRESS FOR OUriNG.
llro.
Tins EFFECT OF HOPE.
Rev. UEonoR'HonaEe.
HEROES UNKNOWN TO FAME.
JAUip C. PUBDT.
T7VERY DAI SCIENCE.
A STAFF WBITZB.
PItOrERTIES OF GEMS.
MAItK F. GnlSWOLU.
17UROPE WANTS OUR INVENTION
j Em Perkins.
ODD SEASHORE COSTUMES.
Jennie June.
PLUNGER WALTON'S ADVICE,
FllANK G. CAIirENTEB.
LEARNING BALL IN ENGLAND,
John D. I'wncilx
3 EXCELLENT RICE DISHES.
ll Ellice Serena.
SOME CUIES OF BOLIVIA.
Fannie B. Wabd.
TSJOBLE CHAIUTAULE WORKERS,
BlSSIE Bbaxble.
JOVE'S TOMB INSPECTED.
ll LA WHENCE C. GOODRICH.
WORLD'S FAIR PRESIDENT.
F. G. CABPENTEB.
STAND FAST. CRAIG-ROYSTON.
Wiixiak black,
PRESS AND PULTIT,
A Country Parson.
ART ADMIRERS FOOLED.
W. E. S. FALES.
PHYSIQUE AND CHARACTER.
Sbibley Dare.
ESSAY ON HOUSE DECORATING.
C. It CLIFFOEB.
-)ATTUtNG DOG STORY,
, Howard Fielding.
Tbe reader will discover a trno statement by
reading down the column of contents, allowing
tbe eye to tako in tho first letter ol each line.
It is Dot a puzzle, bnt a fact.
THE DISPATCH.
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ESTABLISHED FEBRUARY 8, 1S18,
Vol.45. No. 155. Enteree- at Pittsbnre; rostoBice,
ovcmber 14, 1SS7. as 6econd-cla6s matter.
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TERMS OF THE DISPATCH.
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PITTSBURG. SATURDAY. JULY 12, 1891
THE DISPATCH FOB THE SUHMEE.
Persons leaving the City for the summer can
have The Dispatch forwarded by earliett
mail to any address at the rale of SO centt per
month, or $J SO for three months, Sunday edi
tion included. Daily edition only. 70c per
month, $! or three months. The address may
be changed as desired, if care be taken in all
cases to mention both old and new address.
. JET-The BUSINESS OFFICE of THE DIS
PATCH hoi been removed to Corner of
Smilhfield and Diamond Streets.
THE CANAL REVIVAL.
The practicability and importance of im
proving our routes of internal commerce by
the construction of ship canals is impressing
itself on the minds of the people every
where. One of the latest evidences is fur
nished by the publication in Philadelphia
of apian for connecting that city with New
York by a ship canal. Tbe plan proposes
to utilize a part of the present Delaware
and Raritan canal and to excavate a new
line for the rest or the distance between
Raritan Bay and the Delaware river at
Bordentown. The cost of the canal is esti
mated at 512.000.000.
Two phases of interest to Pittsburg are
presented by this proposition. The first is
that it is agitated in a quarter
which has heretofore shown a dispo
sition to turn the cold shoulder
to Pittsburg's canal schemes. High
authority in the place where we have heard
the story that canals have outlived their
usefulness, deliberately takes the opposite
attitude upon a canal scheme that would
accrue to the local benefit of Philadelphia.
This shows the emptiness of all such argu
ments against the reinstatement of the
canals. It indioates that opposition of this
sort is due to the narrow and local views
which the corporate policy has artfully
made use of to hamper canal schemes. It
permits the conclusion that when those in
every part of the country who perceive the
importance of improved and adequate water
ways, lend their aid to all such" projects of
real national importance, the hope of prog
ress will be multiplied by an infinite factor.
. Another phase of the question is pre
sented by the relative importance of this
project and that connecting the Delaware
and Chesapeake bays, with those which
Pittsburg is agitating. It should be under
stood that this section does not antagonize
projects for interior waterways parallel to
the seacoasts. On the contrary, such pro
jects should he recognized as ultimate de
velopments of tbe policy ot internal im
provement -by ship-canals.- But it should
bcaipartrof that- pnlicv Out the most,
file B$mac0.
urgent need for canals should be first met
It is an evident axiom that the first seed is
for tbe connection of natural water routes
which have no natural communication. Tbe
canal from Lake Erie to Pittsburg would
connect the Great Lakes with the river
syrtem; while that from Philadelphia to
New York would only shorten the existing
ocean route, which is open every day in the
year. A trans-Allegheny canal would make
a direct route from 10,000 miles of river
transportation to the ocean, while the sea
coast canals would only parallel the ocean
routes. The freight traffic from "Westeqp
Pennsylvania to the lakes is of
greater importance than that between
Philadelphia and New York, and would
be infinitely enhanced by a cheapening of
50 percent in the freightage; while the Phila
delphia project would only cheapen freights
to the extent of the lessening of insurance
by the avoidance of the- risk of open sea
transportation.
Tbe revival of discussion upon new and
enlarged canals is a healthy indicstion. It
shows that the publio is beginning to per
ceive the vital error that has been in the
neglect ot its waterways for the past forty
years. Such projects also impress upon the
public mind the fart that united and intel
ligent work can restore the neglected and
strangled systems of water transportation.
With full agitation thire is little doubt that
the time will come when all interests will
pull together in support of a comprehensive
and adequate system of internal water
transportation.
AN OFTUKPEATED LESSON.
The Argentine Republic is having an ex
perience which has been common enough in
times pait; but which calls for a constant
repetition in order to keep its lesson fresh in
the popular mind. That South American
government has been enjoying a boom of
inflation on borrowed money for several
years. Now that the day of payment has
arrived it finds itself in a dilemma. Being
unable to pay, as is usual in such cases, it
docs the next best thing, which is tbe stereo
typed resort of aggravating matters by try
ing to float more debt.
An addition of a hundred millions more
to the paper currency has been authorised
"for the purpose of relieving the financial
sitnntion." The "relief is indicated by
the advance of the premium on gold to 203
per cent, which means that the Government
is putting out paper dollars at one-third
their face value. If this paper U ever re
deemed tbe Government will have paid a
long price for its inflation; if it is not re
deemed, tbe people will lose the 33 per cent
of value which they have given in exchange
for the inflated currency.
This state of affairs of course only repeats
the old lesson that the one way to maintain
solvency is to keep expenditures below in
come and to apply the surplus to the re
demption of debt while there is any to re
deem. This lesson has been repeated times
without number. Very recent examples,
both on the large and small scale, have been
aflorded by the success ot the United States
Government and of Pittsburg's city gov
ernment in reducing their debts and raising
their credit to tbe highest level. There is
no present indication of a change of this
policy on the part of our city; hut the poli
ticians of national influence seem to have
forgotten the.old lesson; and are doing their
best to leave the Gover nment with a deficit
concurrently with cheapened money and a
general era of extravagance.
Perhaps tbe example of the Argentine
Republic will call a halt We hope so; but
the general evidence of politics is to the ef
fect that no country is able to learn from
any other experience than its own; and it is
not always able to remember the lessons of
its own experience for more than'two con
secutive decades.
THE IMPOUNDING FLAK BEST.
We are glad to see that the plan of im
pounding, in place of shooting, the vagrant
dogs on sight is growing in favor. Whether,
being left unclaimed and unransomed, they
are then shot or chloroformed, cannot make
much difference. But the Humane Society's
agent is correct in putting in a plea against
hasty shooting on tbe public street; and the
owners of really valuable and inoffensive
dogs are right in asking a chance to reclaim
them should they be caught in the official
snares merely during a momentary appear
ance out of doors unmuzzled.
It shows a commendable spirit on the
part of the Department of Public Safety
that, without abating its purpose to abolish
the nuisance, it is not above accepting the
best suggestions of ways and means.
SPENCER'S FALSE INDUCTION.
Mr. Herbert Spencer, in a recent article,
comments upon a case where a woman has
made an exhibition of high scholastic powers
in a way that shows his own preconceptions
of the subject of female culture to have
more influence with him than an impartial
examination of the facts. This is not an
unusual disposition, perhaps, but it is one
from which the great apostle of scientific in
quiry ought to be entirely free. With regard
to Hiss Constance Naden's Heslop Medal
Essay on the inductive and deductive phil
osophy, which has just been published, Mr.
Spencer observes that "he cannot let pass
the occasion for remarking that in her case,
as in other cases, the mental powers so highly
developed in a woman are in some measure
abnormal, and involve a physiological cost
which her feminine organization will not
bear without injnry more or less profound."
This is an equal mixture of physiological
and philosophical fiddlestick. It is a
striking instance of the inaccuracy wbieh
may utterly vitiate the accuracy of induct
ive logic that one of its supposed masters
can commit the error of arguing from one or
two cases where women have broken down
under severe mental effort, that all women
must do so. Men have broken down under
similar stress; but Mr. Spencer would be
quick to appreciate the utter lack of logic
involved in concluding that tbe masculine
organization will not stand the strain of
study necessary to attain high scholarship.
Practical demonstration, akin to that
which Stephenson furnished of the possi
bility of railway transportation, is rapidly
demonstrating that most of tbe opinions
about the inability of women to rival men
in mental attainments are based on preju
dice. There are none of them more entirely
baseless and preconceived than this one
which Mr. Spencer lays down as a dogma,
that it will involve a physiological injury
to the feminine organization for women to
learn science and logic. It is true that most
women are as illogical as Mr. Spencer
shows himself to be, in this instance; but
that has been abundantly demonstrated to
be the fault of feminine education. The
best evidence of the baselessness of Mr.
Spencer's dogma is the fact that the edu
cational institutions where women receive
the higher education are not more afflicted
with the physiological weakness supposed to
be characteristic of the feminine1 organiza
tion than the social circles where' women
live according to the fashionable, conven
tionalities. Vieer-of drew-and; erroneous
habits of I life; have for.genj-rntlnns mndi
women weaker than! men; and highly edu
cated women are not freed from the results
of those errors. But they are, as a class, less
subject to them. Actual investigation will
show a better average of health among well
educated women than among the purely
fashionable ones, simply because there is
likely to be more sense in thertonner class in
avoiding injurious forms of dress and ex
hausting habits of life.
Let us hope that these feminine frailties
will be remedied before Mr. Spencer is cured
of the habit of making personal prejudice
the basis of a philosophical dictnm.
THE DONBAlt VERDICT.
The Coroner's jury at Dunbar returned a
verdict yesterday. It is a plain, straight
forward document The jury finds that the
explosion by which the thirty-three miners
were killed was canned by John Kerwin
opening a drill hole, in an unlawful manner,
under the direction and by the order of
Superintendent Robert Lang. This state
ment is clinched by the jury's finding that
Superintendent Lang is criminally respon
sible for tbe accident
In such a caso as this the jury must be
presumed to be the best judges of the evi
dence. It is a terrible charge that now
rots at Mr. Lang's door, but tho evidence
certainly prepared the publio for a verdict
censuring somebody for tbe carelessness dis
played in the operation of the mine. The
jury has 6xcd the responsibility to a certain
extent; the rightcousneis of their findings
will bt tested in tbo courts of law. No
doubt suits will be brought for damages,
and possibly the criminal charge will be
pushed. Tho probability is, however, that
tbe civil suits will alone be entered.
The verdict will have served an excellent.
purpose if it shall lead to greater careful
ness in mining, and to the striet enforcement
of the laws made to save miners' lives. Now,
that attention is onee more called to Dun
bar, it is well to repeat that there is a
sore need of money among tbe families of
tbe dead miners. As will be seen elsewhere
the relief fund is exhausted, and many
mouths have still to be filled and many suf
fering mortals to be clad. Tbo appeal
should not be made in vain.
NOT LIKELY.
If there is any foundation for the report
that .the Flood Commission intends to use a
portion of the funds in its hands in publish
ing a history of the flood, the Johnstown
people are entirely justified in' their protests.
In that contingency others than the Johns
town people would have a right to protest
The money was contributed by the donors
for the aid of the sufferers, and not even the
severest stretch of the term could include
tbe publication of a history of that event
within the field of relief. Statements of re
ceipts and expenditures are of course among
the neeessarr expenses of accounting; but
the cost of publishing any history must
come from those who rely upon the sales to
reimburse them.
With that preface it Is pertinent to in
quire what foundation there is for the report
that this is to be done? At present there is
no reason for regarding the story as more
than one of the baseless rumors of which
the Johnstown work, has been so prolific.
No action of the Commission has authorized
any such publication. Some members of
the Commission have given their personal
indorsement to a history of the flood which
has been published for some time; and the
need of personal inducement to further lit
erary enterprises of that sort is not at all
apparent
We hardly think that the Commission en
tertains any such idea as is credited to it bv
this rumor. Tbe strongest reason for this
opinion is that it is not within the scope for
which the funds were placed in the Com
mission's hands.
De. Petebs has returned to Zanzibar,
thus emulating Stanley in contradicting tbe
people who bad settled tbe fact of his deatb.
Bat the success of his expedition is in inverse
ratig to Stanley's. He started ont to relieve
Emln Pasha only to find him cone when the
lakes were reached. Consequently he made an
attemptto establish German prestige in Uganda
by replacing Mwanga on the throne, and came
back to Zanzibar only to find that Germany
had tnrned over that country to British con
trol, by treaty. Dr. Peters may be justified for
believing in the truth of the old proverb about
not putting trust in princes.
The Delaware peach crop is definitively
done for; and peaches will bo scarce and high
this year. The peach crop prophet has set an
example to Wiggins and the Weather Bnreau
Dy his persistence in predicting a failure of
that crop for a dozen years until he struck it at
last
Hot weather is very hard on the eyes, so
they say. Perhaps it u to relieve the strain
that so many look upon tbe wlnecnp when it
Is red in hot weather.
The slurs upon Secretary Blaine in the
recent issues ot Judge and Frank Leslie bring
out the fact that it has been reserved for tho
present day to present the spectacle of Rnssell
Harrison and W.J. Arkell trying to shove
James G. Blaine out of the Republican party.
It has been alleged that a living, dog is better
than a dead lion; but even where there are two
live dogs it will bo discreet of them to make
sure that the lion is dead, first
"When a gentleman draws a knife and de
clares bis intention of making another gentle
men Into mincemeat the latter is justifled is
resorting to desperate measures of defense.
The Jury in the case of Morrison tried for mur
der rightly so decided.
Cajtada Is enjoying tbe somewhat novel
luxury of a seven-million-dollar surplus. This
country is not likely to be afflicted with a
surplus much longer.
"The Hon. William A. Wallace is so en
thusisastic in his support of the Scranton ticket
that he will spend the campaign period in
Europe." And he will probably do as much for
the ticket there as Benator Cameron will, for
the Republican ticket, when he takes his an
nual European trip. It Is within the bounds of
possibility that the common people of Pennsyl
vania will decide this election.
The Southside stands as much in need of
parks as any other parts' of the city, and Chief
Bigelow will find plenty of popular support for
the plan be is sad to have, of making one or
more parks on tbe bluffs above the Mononga
hila, ICEiuUf D must be in the fashion if she
does have to come in at tbe tail of tho pro
cession. They are enjoying the grip there now.
The return of Maloney and Delacy, two
of tbe most noted boodlers in the Broadway
street railroad bribery, from Canada, where
they took ref uge for some yean, creates un
easiness in the New York District Attorney's
office. There is fear that Colonel Fellows will
ha overworked by his efforts not to discovetbe
evidence against them.
The returns of the commercial agencies
show that trade throughout the country is in a
healthy condition. Tbe call of gold by Europe
from this country which has begun points to a
possible stringency of money in the future.
The warm wave bas made its way here
from tho West July's chances of rivaling last
December for cold weather are disappearing.
The Grnd Duke Alexis" has,beenurging'
the necessity of cutting down extravagances In
the Russian navy, and has consequently got
himself into disfavor with the Czar. Economy
seems to bo as obnoxious in tho Imperial Gov
ernment of Russia as in tho alleged delibera
tive Legislature of our nation.
t
DuiLLllfO at Scully' Springs for oil
they struck 'the mineral water for which the
spot in Charticrs township used to bo famous.
It was not the kind of medicine the drillers
wanted.
Speech in tbe Senate appears io be en
tirely silver these days. A little silence on sit
ver would be golden. ,
The story of Ernest Omanu, told in our
local columns to-day, shows that a fine educa
tion will not always keep a man from starva
tion. Omann can speak four languages,' in
eluding English, fluently, and yet he was glad
to obtain tho privilege of wheeling day i
brickyard! ,
Mb. Lea, of Philadelphia, will not be
kept down. Even the policy of sllckness and
silence bas not the power to quell tho turbulent
questioning of this unquiet Mugwump,
TflE last of the heroes who defied tho cen
sus enumerators surrendered gracefully yes
terday. The English political liars are doing
pretty well tbeso days. Their latest effort
about Churchill taking Smith's placo la the
House of Commons, would never have been
bollovcd for a moment If tbo Tory Ministry had
not been known to bo desperate enough to do
anything.
PEOPLE YOU BEAD ABOUT.
Albert Lin col jt B-tiTit an American, has
taken tho degreo of Doctor of Chemistry at tbe
Borlln University.
Rr.v. K. R. At will, D. D., of Toledo, O.,
will in September bo coniecratod as the first
blibop of tho now I'rotestant Episcopal Dloceso
of West Missouri.
It if rumored that John D. Rockefeller and a
number ot othor rich men bavo agreed to sup
port a newspapor enterprise In aid of the anti
saloon temperance movement
Ms. and Mns. Joseph Chambe-xaix will
visit tho United States About tbe end of Aug
ust, in order to spend September and a portion
of October in America when tho weather is at
Its best
Mb. W. J. Flohence, tbo distinguished
comedian, Is in London. Mrs. Florence has
spent tbo past six months in Europe for the
benefit of her health, which is entirely re
established. Beth Lojr used to think ho had tbo shortest
name in Now York until be saw MaxAms'
sign in Greenwich street tbe other day. Mr.
Of, tbe pletute-lramer, has New York's short
est surname.
Jeff Davis still speaks from tbe tomb. His
private correspondence and thero is any
amount of it, for he was a fluent man will be
gone over and tbe letters adjudged worthy, will
bo published.
General, WiixiAai T. Sherman has ar
rived at Cape May accompanied by General
Seweil. General Sherman is stopping with bis
daughter, Mrs. A. M. Tbackara, at her Colom
bia avenue cottage.
Majob Poke announces that he has con
cluded arrangements with Sir Moroll Macken
zie, Professor Bryce, and Mr. Stanley to lec
ture in tbe United States. He is to pay the two
first named J000 a lecture.
JrSTiCE Stephen J. Field has one of the
finest houses in Washington. He loves to live
handsomely, bnt fortune has not been overly
gracious to him. Ho is the least wealthy of
any judge on the Supreme beach.
Mbs. Maep.teks, the American lady who in
vented the elegant and comfortable "hamac
chair" which was exhibited and received cor
dial support at the World's Fair at Paris, is
now showing her invention at the French Ex
hibition. HIGHLY EKJ0YABLE
Was tbe Entertainment by the Epworth
I.caeue It Evonlne.
Tbecozr Sunday school room of tho Smith
field M. E. Church was filled last evening with
an audience that thoroughly appreciated tho
little entertainmont given under tbe auspices
of the Epwurth League of that church. Mr.
Joseph L. Cooper officiated as master of cere
mony, and Rev. Charles E. Locke, pastor of
the chnrch and President of the league, occu
pied a chair to the lett of Mr. Cooper, near the
platform. The entertainment consisted of
readings, recitations and instrumental solos.
Those takinc part were Mrs. Ada Manchester,
Mr. James Wood, Prof. A. H. HcFarlane,
Dr. J. Phillips, Mr. John Hibbard and
Miss .Nettie Wilson, a tiny little mortal who, by
her very clever recitations, elicited more ap
plause than any of tbe mature performers who,
without exception, rendered their numbers in a
highly satisfactory manner.
Much disappointment was expressed over the
non-appearance of Miss Alice May Reed,
daughter of Colonel W. H. Reed, who was
down on the programme for two vocal solos,
but some unforeseen accident prevented the
young lady from appearing, and by her sweet
voice adding to the pleasure of tbe evening.
SWEET ITUSIC EXPECTED
From a Yenne Ohio Lady Who ! to Run
the Gantlet.
To-morrow morning will probably see tbe
Second Presbyterian Church filled, no matter
how warm the weather, or bow alluring the
shady piazza and the hammock are, as a very
noted singer is to lend her voice for the morn
ing service, with tbe prospect of having it paid
for as a regular feature of the Sunday services,
if found of pleasing quatity by the congrega
tion. The yonng lady, who is a native of Ohio, has
but recentlv returned from a prolonged study
of voice culture and vocal nrusic in Europe,
and great success is predicted for her future.
A FIBHUTG CLUB OF TWO.
How Rev. Dr. Sutherland nnd Wife Will
Spend tho Summer.
Rev. Dr. Sutherland, of the Second Presby
terian Church, will start East tbe 1st of August,
and, maklnc Now York his headquarters, will
visit a number of the (car boro resorts during
the two weeks be will spent! in tbe East.
Returning to the cltv. Mi . Sutherland will
accompany her husband up into Canada, where
they will constitute a fishing club of them
selves, as tbe reverend gentleman remarked,
and spend the remainder of tbe month in
angling for tbe speckled beauties.
A PAEK CONTAIKma ONE TREE.
Romarkablo History of on Old Oak on the
Panhandle.
Ubbana, O., July 1L On tho line of the
Panhandle Railroad, in Salem township, this
county, stand a large, solitary oak tree, just at
the edge of the road. It is known among the
railroad employes from Pittsburg to Chicago as
the "Lone Tree,' and it is the only one along
the whole line allowed to stand so near the
track. It was only saved through the earnest
solicitation of a farmer who bad rendered the
company valuable service.
For many years it was regarded as annl
sance, but recently a chango has como over the
railroaders. It is now being inclosed by them
In a small plat of ground by a neat iron railing.
The little lnclosure Is to bo planted in flowers
and shrubs and is to be known as "Lone Tree
Park." Another remarkable thins about the
lone tree is that it bas been found by actual
measurement to be exaetly half way between
Columbus and Bradford Junction.
DEATHS0FA DAY.
Ex-Scnntor nieCrcery.
Owessbobo, HT., July 11. Thomas ll. Jic
Crtery, cx-Unltcd States Senator, died last night,
lntho74th year of his age. He suffered a stroke
of paralysis In 1870; which was repeated on two
or three occasions, and for thrceArcan past he
has been perfectly helpless. His death has been
expected for several days. He leaves a larse
estate.
Dr. A. E. Rlchter.
Dr. A. E. Klchter died yesterday at his home,
M Cedar street Bloomfl eld. He was one or the
best-known physicians in the city, and had an
office at !CI2Penn avenue. His remains will be
burled from his late resldenco on M6ndar after
noon nt 2 o'cloc-. '
Georcori. V.ms'.
lErECIAL TZXZQEA1I TO TBI DISPATCH.!
CAblislc, Pa., July H.-Geor.e 8. Emi.
formerly of this place, but lately of Ban Fran'
elteo.' was drowned at tho latter nlaee thi..j..
Whllohere hierTed'a District Attorney and
Ulerl: of the Courts.- .. -aBy,',JS
V-v... i i h '" i f iiii r if inffl Mi-nir
THE TOPICAL TALKER,
Tbe Faro clous Conductor nnd Jimmy tbo Kid
' All Tkat Cower Are No Tramps
Thanks to a Railroad Company Tbo
Commuter.
Qira certain small railroad in this State the
conductor of tba passenger train, which
made the round trip from terminus to terminus
twice a day, earned a wonderful reputation for
himself by his gallantry to ladies and his feroc
ity toward some men. His politeness to tbe fair
sex was invariable, but it was only to little men
that he was uncivil. Like many another fierce,
fellow ho knew that It was a waste of time and
energy to bully big men. If an nnderslxed
tramp tried to steal a rids that conductor
threw him off the train as sura as egts. Dead
beats of the larger size obtained more consid
erate treatment It is the way of the world.
To this day, no doubt, that conductor would
have been ejecting bis inferiors and respecting
bis superiors, if hit companions in the service
of the Dotancarrywnn Railroad had not soured
upon bim, so to speak. The brakemen did not
relish the overbearing behavior of their com
manding officer; the baggagemaster rightly
considered that smasbmg and throwing off
anything or anybody from tbe train was bis ex
clusive perquisite, and tbo engineer and fire
man became anxious about tbo wholesale crop
of ill-will that the conductor was sowing along
the line. These malcontents put their beads
together and plotted. Thoy plotted to some
purpose.
-When
tbo conductor roached tbe baggage
car one ovenlng.after making tbe regular
ticket-taking tour tbrouRb tbe single passenger
coach, be noticed a small man, extremely like
a second-hand scarecrow, crouching in one cor
ner. A milk can partly screened tho tramp,for
such bis rags, dirtiness and decrepltudo pro
claimed hlm,but tbe caglo eye of tbo conductor
siw bim at onee.
"Come oat of that, now no monkey busi
ness," said the conductor sternly, preparatory
to going Into executive session. Tbe Individual
behind the milk can stirred not neither did a
murmur escape bis lips.
"You havon't got a tlckot of courso," con
tinued tho conductor, turning back tho cuffs of
his II ncn shirt, for ho was extremely natty In
such matters, and wben he did any "bouncing"
liked to sa ve bis clothes. "You havon't got a
ticket, and you'vo walked don't know bow
many 'ateen miles, and yer mother's at death's
door and all that" said the conductor in a
breath, "but I don't allow no measly tramp to
come that game on me. You'll have to pay
your fare or off this train you go!"
Still tbo bundle of rags behind tbo milk can
showed no sign of life. The conductor pulled the
bell cord, and as tbe train began to slow down
ho opened the) door of tbe baggage car, and
walking over to the tramp look him by the
coat collar and polled bim out of tho corner.
T be train stopped, and tbe conductor, to accel
erate the schedule, gave the buudle of rags a
sharp kick. At tbe same moment almost the
conductor gave a yell and Jumped back. The
brakemen and the baggagemaster were in the
car, and tbe engineer and fireman were looking
in at tbe door, and tbe passengers, a half dozen
in nnmber. were looking over the baggage
master's shoulders.
"Fire him. Bill," someone snouted to tbe
condnctor. There was a doubt in the hitter's
mind already, but he couldn't afford to enter
tain it He approached the tramp, who seemed
to have grown several inches, and began to
push him toward the opon door at the side of
tbe car. Suddenly the tramp wheeled around
and a large bunch of knuckles danced between
the conductor's eyes, while another fist collided
violently with his neck. A straight loft-bander
under the chin sent tbo conductor into the
arms of the baggagemaster, who kindly let
him drop upon the floor- Tho tramp borrowed
the engineer's plug, bit off a square chew, and
said be guessed there was nothing more for
him to do. The train started up, but the con
dnctor did not Ho lay in the baggage car and
moaned, as well be might, for be bad stood up
for one round with Jimmy tbe Kid the heftiest
middle-weight in Pennsylvania.
Who procured the services of the illustrious
Jimmy, who never used bis fists for fun, it
would be a gross breach of confidence to say.
I AST week a tender little remonstrance was
made in this column against tbe free all
night concerts which the Pittsburg and Lake
Erie Railroad had been giving to the happy in
habitants of the Sewickley valley. Much to
the regret of those who aro passionately fond
of continuous locomotive whistling as a lullaby,
but to the great joy of the many who do not
like such music, the P. t L. E. locomotives
bavo ceased to tar the echo-giving powers of
the river cliffs between Stoop's Ferry and
Shousetown, and night in the Sewickley, valley
has become once more a season ol silence and
repose.
If there Is anything In the shape of a testi
monial, a silver service or an engrossed vote of
thanks, that the gentleman and scholar who
effected this reform would like, the relieved
citizens of Sewickley would be charmed to ex
tend it to him. The desire of oue grateful
Sewickleyan is that the reformer, if he be
superintendent of the road, may soon Become
president and If he be president now, that he
may control a majority of the stock for the rest
of his natural days.
THE COMMITTER.
The brakeman always nods to him.
He calls the grave conductor "Jim!"
He knows the time of ev'rr train
Xhe schedule puzzles not his brain. '.
"Our traffic's very Hunt to-day
Or heavy, " ho Is wont to say.
The Snp'rentendent's apt to be
Theoblectofhls enmity.
iri'dachince. Just only once."
He says; "I'd prove that man a dunce."
The dear Idea he oft caresses,
That all trains should be made expresses.
Yet by his plan's wise operation.
,Each train should stop at every station!
You'd think he owned a mlahty block
Of this poor railroad's bonds or stock,
But all he owns stand by the wicket
And see bis commutation ticket!
H.J.
STOLEN EHYMES.
THEN ANfl NOW.
When first I heard her voice I was entranced.
And gladness filled me when my way she lanced.
Whilst throuxh my veins ecstatic pulses danced.
That was a year ago;
I married hef, you know.
Now. when I hear her voice I am alarmed.
And oft I wonder howl e'er was charmed;
I even flee, for fear I rear be harmed.
Only a year ago
Ah I can such things be so?
-O.B., in Brooklyn Lift.
ALMOST DTTNO OP ENNUI.
I.
Whit are the charms of the sear
Ob. for an bonr of the city I
U'hit are the dull waves to me?
Can they say anything; witty?
rr.
What do they care formy lips?
Why did I come? It's a pity I
Kothlng but water and snips.
And Jack far away in the city.
m.
Oh, for one ride in the park, ,
With Jack humming bars from a ditty,
Kissing my-Wno Is that? Hark!
It is he. I can hear him call "Kitty!"
Tom Mall, in Jlunsty's Weekly.
TUBUS DATS OLB.
Upon no tairer, sweeter spot
Tbe Bun to-day has shone
Than on the old farm burial lot
With roses overgrown.
Those roses on the srraves, at first
By long-past sorrow's tear-drops nursed,
Now all nbont the place have spread,
Trail on the ground, wave overhead.
Lay round each stone a scented wreath,
And garland all the mounds beneath.
Yet nowhere to my loving eyes
Buch perfect flowers Unfold
As where the unnamed baby lies
Who died when three days old.
1 still can see his wee white face.
His dainty shroud trimmed round with lace.
The tiny coffin where he slept
Wben 1, a child, above him wept,
And said, for then 1 knew not grief;
'How sad his life to be- so brief 1"
O, little soul, flown long ago.
Bright o'er thy grave the roses blow;
Wltu every breeze their red leaves rail,
Vhllo sweat above the robins call;
And t a careless child no more.
The little flowery mound bend o'er.
And say. for now I well know grief;
How blest tny lire to be so nne ri" "
;.&& -3t-. .mMlmb v: !..&-? ..uK3M.isuiKt, .- ..u . .... ..-j. 5:. ... - .-u-.. :rw0iEHi-.. .. -.i-y-..i& f&kusv
OUR MAIL POUCH.
Orcnnlzntlona Not Holding Back Tbe Crn-tennl-I
Committee Criticized.
To the Editor of The Dispatch:
"It is said thav a nnmber of Allegheny or
ganizatlons that are more or less indebted to'
the city are holdlne back and sbowincra great r
lack of interest in the event Some of tba t
memcers of the committee Intend to remem-1
ber it and retaliate by voting against their re-1
quesu in me inture."
The aboro appears in your issue of this
morning, r think the committee or com
mitteeman who expressed such sentiments
should be quietly and distinctly laid on the up
stairs shelf. There is in the first place no or
ganizations which depend on tbe votes of this
committee to have any of their requests
granted; no organization which can or will (or
will not) participate in the semi-Ceutennlal
demonstration makes requests from any citi
zen, Councilman or committeemen of this
parado. All requests made by Allegheny or
ganizations are made to its individual 'mem
bers for does and assessments which each in
dividual member pays or he is suspended.
Tbe Tack of Interest is shown by the organi
zations. But the committee is very dilatory in
its work. Here is the 17th almost here and not
one of the different organizations which mean
to tnrn out yet know their positions in line.
Tney do not know wbeio tho formation is to be
made; tbey do not know what time tho parads
is to be, or whether It is a daylight or moon
light parauo (see invitation issued to all so
cieties and organizations by Samuel W. Hub
ley for the committre). Who is tbe adjutant
for this big demonstration? Captain walker
says he will bo appointed Monday ntgbt which
wilt give him throe days to do 20 days' bard
labor. Tbe chief marshal had the offer from
flro or six different organizations, which will
turn out from 800 to 600 fully uniformed men.
and men who are well drilled and could fill
that post ot honor to the credit of tbe oblef,
staff, parade and tbe city. But no; this com
mittee, who claim a lack of Interest is being
shown, have to this day refused to answer any
of tbese dlffcront communications in relation
to any nose of honor or where their positions in
line will be. Instead, a riding escort of young
men Is being organized to ecort. Thocblot
marshal Just started the movement on Monday
nl.ht, and 2U young men Is a large number to
narao for their meeting. They elected a cap
tain. Now when and wberels thlsrldlngescort
to drill ? Thoy aro to be uniformed; How
much time have they to get uniforms r
Now, Mr. Editor, this luows a Hack of judg
ment on tbe part of tills committee not a lack
of interest on tho part of tbo organlzittnns.
Get an Adjutant Let tiim give such organ,
nations place in line, and then the parade will
be a success; and if this committee will closely
study the getting up of such demonstrations,
and hold weekly meetings, it will perhaps bo
able to get up the centennial parade in Alle
gheny 50 years hence. Giro us a hustler, who
can rig up a parade on short notice, for Adju
tant General, and the committee can go to bed
till next Thursday and irnko up and see a big
parade. A Membeb oy Oboanizations.
Axleoheny, July 11.
Economy In Ice.
To the .Editor or The DUpatchi
Which is tho economical way to buy ice. 10
pounds a day or 20 pounds every 2 days T Ice
costs a cent a pound jn each case. I hare tried
to settle tho question by experience, but dif
ferences of weather made my experiments un
satisfactory. I want to know which should be
the most economical, as a matter or scientific
deduction. The ice is In blocks that are ap
proximately square and always in one piece.
The ice is delivered at tbe same hour each day:
that is, tbe ten-pound blocks are .left at 7
o'clock each morning and tbe 20-pound block
at 7 o'clock every other morning. I use an or
dinary refrigerator.
Please answer in your columns if you think
of sufficient importance.
P ittsbubo, J uly 1L Subscriber.
On a strictly scUntifle basis, 20 ponnds ot
ice in one piece, having tbe same base and
twice the length of the 10-pound piece, wonld
lost longer, on account of the lesser area of
radiating surface per unit volume. But, on tbe
other band, the dellvory of a f reih piece of ice
at full weight and' not depreciated by a day's
melting may possibly more tban counterbal
ance the gain due to the fact above mentioned.
A practical test should settle this point, as the
problem, though capable of solution on exist
ing data, would be a very complicated one.
Tbe Electric Tricycle.
To the Editor of The Dispatch:
Will you kindly inform me where I can gain
fnll particulars Id regard to the electric tricycle
described in The Dispatch for July 6 (Sun
day) under tbe title of -Everyday Science?"
w. 8. Randall.
Wabash College, Cbawtobdsville, Ind
JulylL
Full particulars about tho electrical tricycle
can be obtained on application to M. M. M.
Slattery, tho inventor. Fort Wayne, Ind. His
address is Fort Wayne Jenney Company, Fort
Wayne, Ind. Mr. Slattery drives his machine
by mounting a set of storage batteries on a
small electric motor on a platform immediately
under the rider, and the motor actuates it
Not HIa Cousin.
To the Editor of The Dispatch:
In yesterday's issue of TnB Dispatch it is
stated that J. F. Bentel is a cousin of O.H.
Bentel, of Freedom, Pa. This is not true. On
tbo contrary, be is no relation of C. H. Bentel.
Freedom, Pa., July 11. C. H. Bentel.
A JtrHBO S?IDEB,
It Gobbles n Chicken nnd Endeavors to
Draw It Idio a Hole.
BlBMlNOHAlf, ALA.. July 11 E. M. Tut
wllcr, Superintendent of tbo Sloss Iron and
Steel Company's mines at Coalburg, has, pre
served in alcohol, the largest black spider ever
seen-in this section.
A few days ago Tutwilor beard a great com
motion among the chickens in bis yard. He
went ont to investigate, andsawasmall chicken
being slowly drawn into a bole in the ground.
Somvinvisiblo Vcptile bad caught the chick by
one leg and was drawing it into the bole in
spite of its 'desperate struggles.
Tutwiler approached, and looking down in
tho hole discovered an immense black spider.
Ho punched it with a stick and compelled It to
release the chicken. Ho then dng tbe spider
out of Its den and placed it in a jar of alcohol.
It lived an hour after being placed In the jar.
When dead tho spider Was taken out, weighed
and measured. It measured 2 inches across
the back and weighed 9 ounces. Its longest
legs wero 4ii inches in length and its eyes were
as large as a hotel clerk's diamonds.
BEES BEGULATHTG HATTEBa
He nan Ordered Reatnnrnnt Managers to
Sell Pie nt Rmlneod Rates.
From the Washington Post.
Speaker Reed does not shirk tho responsl
bllityof regulating any matter under bis con
trol. Having driven tho cigar and pie stands
out of tho Houso corridors, the employes felt a
grievance at having to pay 10 cents at the res
taurant for a piece of pie that formerly could
be purchased at the less pretentious stands for
half that sum.
To make things equal all around,tbe Speaker
has required the restaurant manager to sell a
glass of milk, cup of coffee, piece of pie, or a
ham sandwich for S cents per indigestion when
demanded by a Honse employe. To mcot this
special trade a small counter bos been put up
adjoining tho members' lunchroom, on the
east corridor, where tbe employes are accom
modated at tbe reduced rates fixed by tbe
Speaker.
POINTS LH STATE POLITICS.
PHILADELPHIA Timet (Ind.): It doesn't
bother the Republican candidate that he has
never run before, but that he may run behind.
Williamspobt Sun (Dem.): For a party
that expects to roll up 50,000 to 80,000 majority,
tbe Republican State Committee is getting to
work with an earnestness and an earliness that
belte their fulsome professions of an easy vic
tory. TiTtraviLLi! imrfcon (Dem.): Mr. Dela
mater. It is said, has already begun his canvass,
and proposes to go himself from house to house
all over the State. Wben his tour is finished
he will be footsore, and perhaps slightly dis
gusted. Nirw YoBK Press (Rep.): The bitter fight be
tween Wallace and Scott for control of the
Democratic party in Pennsylvania has made
Mr. Delamater's path to the Governorship
fairly easy, although it may bo somewhat
thorny.
PHmABKLPHtAJ!scord(Dem.): As tbe con
tost in Pennsylvania Is to be largely a Campaign
of Independent Republicans against a suamo
leSs manipulation of "one-mad power," tbe In
dependents should make no delay in effecting a
thorough organization. ,
BBadfobb Era (Ind.): Governor Bearer
should tako the slump In behalf or Mr. Dela
matcr. If bo should come up this way and tell
tbe people that no coal trains would como over
tbe Klnzua vladdct In c-se of Mr, Pattison's
election, as he did ohce upon a time, It might
plftee Tntaa Ban lsdall's prediction of 000
Democratic majority in McKeau county beyond
tho possibility oldonbt
AMERICA ABROAD.
Scraps of Gossip Called From the I.nst
London Mall An English Sketch of An
drew Carnegie Unlucky Tonrlt Fun
la o. New Yankee Colony Henry
Georao'a Saccesnec
tvtb. Andbew Cabseoie, the ScottUh-Amer-ican
millionaire, is again in this country;
buthe modestly staved away from the opening
of tbe great free libray which he has presented
to tbe city of Edinburgh. Tbe Carnegie Library
Is situated on George the Fourth Bridge, and
will be a great boon to the working classes who
live in tbe neighborhood. This last malefi
cent gift of Mr. Carnegie's is only one of many
similar noble contributions for the education of
the democracy. It is only a few months ago
since he presented a library to tbe city of Alle
gheny, Pa., and the President of tbe United
States was present at the opening ceremony. It
was in tbe State of Fensylvania, as an iron and
steel manufacturer, that Mr. Carnegie amassed
his immense wealth. Forty yean ago tbe man
who now- nossesses a fortune estimated at
7,000,000 arrived at Pittsburg at tho age of la.
His solo capital was his energy, and an abnor
mal amount of sound Scotch shrewdness. Car
negie's father and mother; and an elder
brother; left tbelr native town of Dunfermllno
to try tbolrluck in the New World.and fortune
soon smiled on thom. especially on Mr. Androw
Carnegie, who is one of the most amiable of
men. Physically ho is a small man, but keen,
cnergetio and full of "grit" His tongue yet
carries an echo of his Scottish origin, and
while ho has proved blmsolf a patriotic Ameri
can, ho yields to no man in lovo for his native
land. Ho is an earnest champion of homo
rule for Scotland, and a powerful adrocato of
the progress of democratic institutions all over
tho world.
Henry Goorae All Right.
Jn. Uicnby Geobob's friends in America
will bo glad to learn that his tour in Aus
tralia Improved a success. Tbo last journals
received record his attacks on protectionist
Victoria. Ho seems to devote most of his lee
tares to frco trade rather than to taxation of
land values, but Mr; Georgo's Idoa is that tho
adoption of tho foriuor must lead to tho appli
cation of the latter. When lecturing In Mel
bourne, Mr. George bad an encountor with a
local protectionist champion, Mr. Tronwlth.
Mr. Oenrgo rested his arguments on tho gen
oral and ultimato benoQts of tree trdae: Mr.
Trenwltb, on the local and maybe temporary
application of protection and the good it bad
done.
Follies of American Abroad.
A Sin. Jonasson, of New York, in conse
quence of uttering sentiments derogatory
to the Emperor of Germany, bas been locked
up at Berlin. While this gentleman was regret
ting his folly in a prison cell, another German
American came to Berlin to seek redress. Mr.
Brockmann, anatlveof Southern Germany, em
igrated from tbe Fatherland many years ago.
He went to St Louis, where be prospered and
became one of the "solid men" of that city.
This year be determined to pay a visit to his
native village. He spent bis money with pro.
fuse liberality, tieated tbe Inhabitants to Illim
itable lager beer, and managed to turn tbe
peaceful little town topsy-turvy. The authori
ties, unused to this sort of reckless, wholesale
conviviality, attempted to put a stop to the or
gie, but tbe Missourlan would brar no interfer
ence. In consequence, be got into trouble, from
which he has been rescued by the good offices
of Minister Pbelps. Another American at pres
ent involved in legal bothers is Mr. Fay, ex
United States Consul at Stettin. In pursuance
of bis duties, he sent a report to tbe State De
partment regarding tho practices of some Stet
tin merchants, who adulterated chicory, which
they exported to the United States. Tbe State
Department officials thought so much of this
report that tbey published it Tbe Stettin mer
chants felt aggrieved, and sued Mr. Fay for
damages. He is out of office, bat remains at
Stettin fighting tbe suit
Tbe Thunderer. Blander.
TJsiNO an American colloquialism, Senator
t Sherman recently said: "As to the meas
ure which Invites us to competition with all the
world in free coinage of silver, I do not want
any of it in mine, to use a slang phrase." Mr.
Sherman was using the slang of tbe bar-room.
When a man objects to a certain ingredient in
a concocted drink he says, "I don't take any in
mine;-' ana mis nas come to do used ngurative
ly for all kinds of things beside drinks. Bnt
the Timet, seeing that the speech was on tbe
silver question, reproduces it as follows: VI do
not want any of it in tne mine," which was a
proof of not being up to date.
A New Yankee Colony.
An Important American colony has estab
lished Itself in the Bloomsbury district of
London, and the streets about Russell, Queen.
Bedford, Tavistock and Euston Squares
abound in American boarding bouses that
have representatives on tbe other side of the
Atlantic. There must be a thousand boarders
and lodgers from the United States in tbe
quarter indicated. Tbe two points of attrac
tion in tbe neighborhood are the British
Musuem and tbe Turkish Batbs in tbe Euston
road. When Brother Jonathan arrives m town
by the L. and N. W. or the Midland, be hur
ries to the batbs "to freshen up." as he ex
presses it, "and to start doing London with bis
cuticle In good working order." Mr. James
Haley, the proprietor of tbe old Burton baths,
is a humorist and bas had so many Americans
through his hands that his mind is a store
house of Yankee anecdotes. It is a pity that
Barnum did not confer with him while com
piling the volume of "Funny Stories" that
Routledge bas lately issued. "James." as
everybody calls Mr. Haley, relates an anecdote
ot Burton, who formerly ran the baths. He
had an American patron who was so deplorably
thin that hs suggested a skeleton. This atten
uated Transatlantic got it into his bead tnat
Turkish baths would so improve his health
that he would at last put on flesh. Burton,
naturally, encouraged tho idea; tbe American
became a daily bather, but he did not increase
in weight "Persist, my dear sir," Barton
would say. "There's nothing like the baths
for making people fat"
One day, as the American was waiting for
the embonpoint which never came, he over
heard Burton in conversation in the next room
with an enormously fat man.
"Burton," saia the globalarman,"l'mgetting
tired of this."
"How's thatr
"Pro been bathing nowfortwo month, and
I'm as heavy as tho day I started in fact, I
welch more."
'Patience, my good sir," urged Burton;
"there's noshing liko the bathe to make people
thin. If you don't believe it just observe a
gentleman who will go out In a few minutes.
He's been bathing about tbe same time you
have, and he's like a boon dressed up."
The American heard this speech, paid his
bill, and indignantly mshed off to his hotel
with the avowal that he'd tako no raoro thlck-and-thln
batbs id tbU played-out old country.
Sarah's Knee Still There.
J 'HE American showman rarely misses a
chance. When Sarah Bernhardt was laid
up with a bad knee there was a report that
amputation might be found necessary. This
scrap of news was cabled to tbo United States,
and the notion at once occurred to a "Dime
Museum" man to buy, embalm, and exhibit the
limb in the event of its being amputated. A
goodish sum was offered, with a share of tbe
profits of tbe exhibition. Sar.ih still basher
knoe Intact, as London pliygoers are at present
aware who bavo seen her In the character of
Jeanne d'Arc
- Senatorial Emoluments.
The life and emoluments of an American
Senator aro not to be despised. The work
is' by no means exacting, and tbe salary of
1,000 pays current expenses, while the number
of perquisites is absolutely incredible. Thus
each one of the members of tbo Senate is pro
vided, at the expense of the Government with
a private secretary, who is paid at tbe rato of
150 per anuum. and who Is generally eithertbe
son, daughter, or wife of the conscript father.
The latter also receives an allowance of 25 an
nually In stationery but which Is generally
drawn in cash and Is entitled to liberal mile
age and traveling expenses. Moreover, a res
taurant is maintained at the Capitol for the In
ternal refreshment of the Senators, free of
Cost, and also a barber and hairdresser's shop,
where tbey can have a free "shave" or "cut,"
and also furnish themselves with toilet requi
sites and the choicest preparations of Rlmmel,
all at tho expense of tho National Treasury.
From the official report ot tho Uuited States
Senate for last year. It appears that tho Sena
tors consumed 7,00(1 grains of quinine during
the year. The Government also defraved the
cost of 42 engraved card plates and 3,000 visit
ing cards for tbe members. A curious feature
of the document is the difference shown In tbe
respective' quantities of loo which was required
for the nse of the Upper and the Lower Cham
ber of Uncle Sam's Parliament It appears
that whereas the House of Representatives,
with its three hundred and dd members, re
quired ffftheryear law, 172.COT pounds of Ice to
keep Its members cool, over 817,000 pound was
used during tbe same period by tbe Senate.
ConBrrnin!l Cmwii'i" " Married.
rSrCOSAt, TELEOItAU TO TUB DISrATCr!.!
Hollidatsbbbo. PA., July It-Last even
ing Jennie Belle Elliott of this place, daugh
ter of Adam and Mary Elliott was married to
Marion Cessna, son of Congressman John
Cessna,, of Bedford. The ceremony was i per
formed IbyitheiRev. W A. Sblpman, ef tho
Lutheran innrca.
CURIOUS CONDENSATIONS.
Heading, Mich., has a girl 17 years old
who bas been married four years.
The census men have fonnd three citi
zens of Taylor county, Fla, who own 13 dogs
each.
Albany, Ga has a female jeweler, fair,
young and pretty, and can hold her own with
any watchmaker in the State.
Columbia is the wealthiest of American
unirersitles, and Harvard comes next, with
property valued at SS.000,000. and a yearly in
come amounting to $3,121.
Hattie Stephenson, of Marine City,
Mica, was struck oy lightning a week ago and
has been in convulsions ever since. There is
not a mark on her body showing where the bolt
struck ber.
1 a razor is in fcirly good condition
and not in need of tbo oilstone, it may soon be
whetted to a fine edge on the palm of the hand
or the Inner side of tbe forearm. The latter Is
best if it is free from hair.
At tbe convict camp on the Scuffle
plantation, Florida, a number of tbe convicts
were leaning against a wire fence when the
lightning struck the fence, killing one of them
instantly, and stunning several others very
severely.
John Thayer was employed at the
Canadian end of tho St. Clair tunnel, working
in the compressed air chamber. Wben he left
the tunnel Monday blood began to come from
every part of bis body. Tbo doctors couldn't
give hlpi any relief, and he died Wednesday.
They havo a curious custom at the burial
of unmarried women in Brazil. Tbe coffin,
hearse and tbe livery of tho driver must bo
bright scarlet, tho four wblto horses drawing
tho bsarso must bo covered with scarlet nets,
and scarlet plumes must deck tbe horses' beads.
The train which went through Range
Creek bridge, near Colllnsvillc, Tox., last Snn
day, was loaded with bcor and liquors. Tho na
tives from tho surrounding country were not
long in learning how much liquor was going to
waste, and In a few hours nearly tho whole
township was drunk.
The British Medical Journal, consider
ing tbe danger of kissing tho usually greasy
Blblo ot tbe law courts, recommends that a
clean wrapper of paper bo put on from time to
time. This was done for tbo benefit of the
Duke of Flfo. a recent witness, aud it is ap
proved as a deslrablo practice.
A young lady at tho home of John
Strublc, of Galeshurg. Mich., heard burglars
down stairs. She shouldered a gun, cautiously
slipped below, and oefore the men knew what
was going on. they stood looking into the black
depths ot a blunderbus. She thereupon called
for help and now hai her prey in jail awaiting
trial in tbe Circuit Court
Tbe recent disastrous accident of the
Northern Pacific, at Drummond, Mont, was
caused by a "sun kink" in tbe rails. Heat ex
panded the rails to such an extent that tho
spaces between them became entirely closed,
and there being no more room for expansion, a
curve was formed and the ties and rails were
thereby forced out of position.
Mrs. .Nancy Sullivan has seen 103 sum
mers and says this is the hottest starter she re
members. Her borne is near Imlay City,
Mich, and she boasts of being the oldest per
son in the State. She was born in Dublin, has
proofs as to her age and is as sound mentally an
ever. She bas a son 72 years old who lives la
tbe neighborhood, and her daughter-in-law is
A Kalamazoo census enumerator named
Gage not only asked all tbe fool questions
on tbe blanks, but also inquired the politics of
every person he canvassed. Ho took the po
litical census in a little book and now wants to
realize on tbe information obtained by selling
the book. He says be Was ordered to ask tho
political questions by Supervisor Don Hender
son. A man down East, a selectman of his
town by the way, bought a pound of nails
which were wrapped np in a piece of brown
paper, and placed them in a bright new tin pan
which he left on the seat of his wagon for a
short time In the sun. When he came out of
tbe store again be found bis bundle of nails in
flames, the rays of the sun having set the paper
on fire.
It would seem that Mr. W. E. Vander
bllt does not confine bis investments to railway
stocks, nor does he find these by any means as
profitable as certatn other gilt-edged enter
prises with which he is connected. It Is stated
that Mr. Vanderbilc owns &0 per cent of tho
stock of the Coney Island race taaltk. and that
he recently received a dividend orij per cent
upon his capital.
The Superintendent of Public Instruc
tion of New York State bas announced tho vote
for tho State flower as follows: Gcldenrod. SI,
308; rose. 79,006; daiy. 33,603; violet 3L176:
pansy, 2L202; lily, 16.433: lily of the valley, 1L
626; trailing arbntus. 7.8S8: buttercup. 6,123;
scattering, .v.uio; total, 6is,u,). The scattering
votes wero distributed through 121 different
varieties. Hew York Tribune.
A large hawk caught a very large black
snake, and tbe snake, in self-defense, colled
around the bawk so that the hawk could not
fly. A negro came along, crossed the hawk's
legs and tied them. Then the negro bit tbo
snake and killed him. and released tbe hawk,
and ho flew off, with the long string flying liko
a streamer, to atreo top. The string got
wrapped around a limb and the hawk swung
down. The negro cut the tree down and re
captured tbe hawk, which he cooked and ato
next day for dinner.
Battle Creek, Mich., has a smart boy.
The muzzling by-law is now in force and one of
tbe principal citizens bad to go tbe pound
three times in one week to get the dog out Ho
wondered bow it was as bis canine but rarely
left the house. Tho pound keeper told him
that tbe same boy brought the dog each timo
and received hu SO cents. The citizen watched
and caught his own son doing the dog catching
act. As it cost the parent SI each time and the
boy only got 50 cents, the father strapped the
son and then compromised by hiring him to
let the dog alone.
An habitual drunkard in Sweden and
Norway is treated as a criminal in this sense,
that his inordinate love for strong drink ren
ders him liable to imprisonment, and while in
confinement it appears, be is cared f his bad
propensities on a plan which, though simple
enough, is said to produce marvelous effects.
From the day the confirmed drnnkard is in
carcerated no nourishment is served to htm or
her but bread and wine, ma brcau, nowever.
it should be said, cannot be eaten apart from I
tbe wine, but is steeped in & bowl of it ana left 1
thns to soak an hour or more before tbe meal
is served to the delinquent. Tho first day tho
habitual toper takes his food in this sbapo
witnout tne slightest repugnance: ino seconu
day be finds It less agreeable to his palate and
very nulcklv he evinces a positive aversion to
it Generally, the doctor states, eight or tea
days of this "reziiueu is more tban sufficient
to mako a man loathe tbe very sight of wine.
WITH TOE POISTED ENDS UP.
Poet (in despair) Wife, the wolf Is at
the door. What shall we do?
Poet's wife Go up on the second floor, lasso
bim with the clothes line, and we'll cook him.
Life.
"Imag'ada dacoppagoto sleep3," said
the Italian peannt vender.
"Why so, Dajo, " asked the messenger noy.
"Coza. When coppa sleeps no eata peanutU
wlthouta pays." Chatter.
"Why don't you wear your glass eye now
as you used to do? " d tho humorist's wife,
addressing her husband.
"Because It hurts me U my profession, love."
"Hurts you In your profession. Why, how can
"It Is not an original eye, dear." Boston
Couriir.
Hoffman Howes See here, cutter, theso
trousers aro too confoundedly short!
. cutter-All rlxht; If you want to look like the
statues of oor public men I'll lengthen 'em.
Hoffman Howes H'ml I guess they'll do, after
sll.Pue-
"You see," remarked the amateur angler,
we left the hotel with a lunch hamper, twokot
tics of rye and our fishing tackle. "
"Hsve pretty fair sport?" ventured the guest.
"Fair! Glorious! Only at the start soma in
fernal tramp went to work and stole our"
Hamper, eh?"
"Oh, no, not so bad as that! Only our fishing
tackle!" American (Jrocer.
"This is the fast train, isn't it?" asked a
reporter of a passenger on a derailed car.
It seems to be," replied the latter, whowanted
to meet a preslng engagement but bad to wall
until a wrecking outfit had been sent for.-W-cago
Inttr-Oetan.
Julius Smiff (recovering from the col
lision) -Wut'S de number ob dat back?
A Sympathizer I suppose you want to proiecuto
the driver, don't you?
Julius Smiff No, I wants ter play policy. DO
hack done klllea my wile, ain't It? Stftingt.
A fellow thinking to appear sni-irt, en
tered s notion store on Sixth avenue the other
day, and said to one or the salesladies. "Ever
have any call for husbands here?"
"Ob, res, occasionally. Aro you looking for a
mamt?"
"la." nld Saartv. -i
t 'All tight. , Step right tupfcOa .the W-0
counter,!! avimgt.
tS
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