MMHMHHHHHHHHHMHMKMI ;v- THE PITTSBUEG DISPATCH, SUNDAY, JUNE " 29, L890. 15 BEEEINe THE GRIiJ. 4- Experience of a Dispatch Correspond ent in South America. CAUGHT AT LAST IN BOLIVIA. Katare'fl Wonders Beyond the Andes Kear the Amazon Headwaters. f ;th beautiful tallei op iukgas iCOBBltSrONDZXCX OF THE DISrJLTCH. La Paz, Bolivia, May 24. We hive been fleeing, far and fast, before the dread ful grip, bat with indifferent success. It was hoped that the indefatigable traveler, which bat nearly circumnavigated the globs, might somehow miss South America, but like a thier in the night it came, appear ing simultaneously on both sides of the con tinent, in Buenos Ayres, Valparaiso and lama, soon making sad havoc in all the coast cities. At that time we were in the midst of some most interesting researches in Peru; but as one of onr party is a consumptive, traveling expressly to prolong his span of life, and another had been repeatedly warned by physicians to escape influenza at any cost, ou account of chronic throat trouble, we stood not upon the order of going, but went at once. Stopping awhile in Are quipa, a lovely old city in Eastern Pern, it haDpcned oiie day" that the whole garrison ol wretched soldiers feli down as one man under the stern grasp of the grip. Then we fled to Bolivia, the great bnt almost unknown republic that lies, corner wise, ietween Pern, Brazil, the Argentine country and Chili, in the vain hope that the disease might expend its force near sea level and not cross the intervening Cordilleras ot the Andes, the seven successive walls, snow topped and sky-piercing, with the deserts and great lake that lie between. BELENTLESS IK ITS PCESUIT. But at La Paz again we had reckoned without our host, and one fine morning . awakened to the knowledge that fnlly 75 per cent of the city's population were wrest ling with the scourge! There was bnt one way of escape, to run away into the interior. An arriero, or muleteer, was quickly en gaged, who supplied a mule for each person and several lor carrying our beds, provision, hampers and other luggage; a mozo, or man servant, was taken in tow, and early one morning the flight into Egypt began. Bnt alasl The enemy from which we fled went with us, in the ihroat of the arriero. The second day out he developed the grip in its worst form, which speedily ran into pneumonia. "We were compelled to leave the poor fellow at a farmhouse, after doing all that was possible for his comfort, leaving medicines and money with the people who took him in charge; but in little more than a week he was dead. While on the influenza subject, it may not be amiss to add a few farts concerning its caprices on the Southern Continent. In the higher altitudes the disease has been uniformly light, unless the luugs became involved, in which case death was almost sure to ensue. Among the people of the coast a larger percentage of cases have been fatal. The Cbilian newspapers state, with what truth I do not know, that the disease returned to some villages which it had al ready devastated and in many instances at tacked the same victims a second time. AliOKO A MOUNTAIN PATHWAY. The round trip between the cities of La Paz and Chulumani, the latter beiug the capital of the department ol Yungas, is a distance of about 272 Yankee miles. Though most of the products that are used in and exported from Bolivia come from the narrow Yungas Valley, and though the Government annually expends a large sum on the alleged road thereto, the only high way of centuries is mostlva narrow trail, cut round and roncd the edges of tbe mountains, sometimes ziszarging to and fro over their perpendicular faces, like the tacking or a ship. Llamas, those strange animals that are found only in the Andes, are also used as beasts of burden in the mountains, bnt as they cannot live below a certain elevation they are never seen near tea level. The wonder is that any road at all could ever have been made in these stupendous heights. On the first dav out, about 18 miles from La Paz and 4.000 feet above it, the highest point is attained, called Alto del Cruz, which is 2,400 leet higher than the very top of Pike's Peak, or about 16,000 feet nearer the stars than vou are at home. The "Alto" extends almost on a dead level lor several mil's before a gradual descent begins. At any time of year the traveler away up here is apt to encounter a snow storm, the big, round flikes that look like hail melting as they fall, wetting bis garments through and through, while a stinging wind chills him. to the marrow. Ju addition to the usual programme a thunder storm was thrown in for our enter tainment, lightning playinc in the clouds below and hollow echoes reverbrating from peak to peak. Of course, our animals suffered severely and were obliged to halt every few moments, panting painfully; while we, between the wet and bitter cold, bad not a breath to spare with which to urge them onward. FOUND DEAD IN THE BOAS. To add to the general melancholy of this most desolate spot, we passed the body of a dead man lying prone across the road, with glassy eyes starinsr un to the cheerless sky. "Whether he had been murdered or had died from natural causes, we dared not pause to investigate, for if the former the finder of the corpse might be held for months in La Paz to give testimony in the slow process of the Bolivian courts. A number of Indians bad just discovered the unlortunate and to their care we lelt bim. From time immemorial these lonely moun tains have been intcsted with bands of high waymen, who murder even the poor Indian on his return to Yungas from the sale of his little crop of cocoa lor the sake of the few dollars his half-year's work has gained. At intervals all along the uninhabited part of the highway the Government has caused places of shelter for man and beast to be erected. These are called tambos, and each is in charge of a family. The evening -deal, which is called by courtesy "dinner," consists of two things, viz: coffee and chupe, tbe latter a kind ot thick soup, made of dried sheep which has been stewed to the tenderness of an old boot top, mixed with a eood deal of rice, various seeds and vegetables, prominent among which are onions, all made hotter than so many spoonfuls of live coals bv means of red peppers and aji. It is the national dish of Bolivia, among all classes, hisrh and low, and thousand? of families subsist entirely upon it. Sometimes another dish is added to tbe menu, but as a rule, if you are so un reasonable as to imitate Oliver Twist in calling for more, you must supply it from your own stores. BLEEP THE ONLY LTJXUEY. Everybody sleeps the dreamless sleep of the weary, until aroused next morning by the watch ul arriero at the first glimmer of dawning. Then one's troubles begin afresh. For example, such an article as a washbowl is an unknown quantity, on the road to Yungas. Breakfast consists of nothing on earth but bitter coflee without milk, unless you choose to add to it a butterless lump of your own bread. This you swallow shiver- lngiy in tne pale morning twilight of the mountains; and having paid as much for tbe entertainment as for the same length ol time in a "New York hotel, the mules are brought up, and again you sally forth, thanking Heaven "or having preserved tcuthuslar, but teeling extremely doubt ul as to the future. Almuerzo, or second, breakrast, consisting also of chupe and coffee Is sure to be lound somewhere along the road, be tween 10 and 2 o'clock; anil by that time your appetite is "sharp set" enough to en jpyit The greatest artist that eTer lived could not convey with brush and colors an ade quate idea of the awe-inspiring grandeur of the Andes; and certainly no pen-picture can do them faintest justice. Seen from a distance, their bare and totally inaccessible sides look as black as ink, in contrast with the extensive snow-fields above, which the foot of mau or beast has never trodden. Oc casionally a condor is seen the poet's "proud bird of the Andes" slowly circling to bis home above the clouds. nation's wonderland. Such waterfalls and cascades as come tum bling down from unknown, heights to the valley far, far below; some of them rivaling in magnificence our own Niagara, or any thing the Yosemite can show; while the river which fills the center of the narrow vallev. so lar beow our aerial track that it looks'like' a thread of silver, is in reality a raging cataract, dashing over giant boulders with a noise loke thunder, for more than 60 miles outdoing the rapids above Niagara, and nowhere navigable in all its course. There are mountains on every hand, mount ains everywhere, stretching away to the horizon; while the range on the opposite side or the valley, parallel to this we are slowly traversing, appears almost near enough to toss a stone from one to the other. When the lowlands were reached, came the new experience of fording the many small rivers, but we found it preferable to most of the bridges along the route frail structures swung lrom tree to tree, and swaying like cradles beneath us. When once in the valley, no words can tell the beauty of the luxuriance of the tropical veg etation in solitudes where "Near to Nat ure's Heart" is not an empty idea. There were groves of wild banana trees, whose broad leaves of brightest green are each large enough for a tent; towering palms of many species, wonderful orchids, shining foliage, beauti ul flowers, and enormous ferns whose perfect ironds waved high above our heads. And then the birds of brilliant plumage parrots, macaws, paro quets the monkeys chattering among the trees, gorgeous butterflies as large as the palm of your hand, beetles dressed in green and blue and gold, and other wonders en countered at every step! PRODUCTS OF THE VALLEY. A portion of the highway to Yungas capital is a mere foot path running tbrongh the coffee groves of private plantations, and between orange and lime trees crowdedso closely together as to rake off our hats with their branches, and render imminent the fate of Absalom. The lower hillsides are mostly laid out in terraced slopes for the cultivation of cocoa, the great industry of the valley. There are many grottoes, or miniature caverns by the wayside, formed by springs or waterfalls forcing their way through heaped-up boulders, where every inch of rock is thickly covered with the most beau tiful mosses and delicate maiden-hair ferns, overhung by gigantic fronds and brilliant flowers. Passing one of these, we saw in side a number of half-naked Indian women washing their clothes in the clear cascade, while their lazy lords sat by circulating sundry jugs and bottles among themselves. It happened at the moment that the doctor and I were lagging in the rear, and as we rode by the customary "Buenos dias" (good day) on our part, and "Ala-Ma" on theirs were exchanged the latter word not mean ing mother, as might be inferred, but in Quichua language a token of greeting and respect. CHASED BY DBCKKES INDIANS. To our surprise, up sprang three of the Indians calling on us to stop, and who, in spite of all our efforts at speed, kept almost within reach of us. Up hill and down we. went a mile or more, until, in a particularly bad piece of road where the narrow trail had not only the usual precipice on one side and wall of'rock on the other, but turned an abrupt curve that hid us from sight of our companions, we were stopped short by the hand of an Indian grasping the bridle of each mule. Naturally, we imagined them to be part of the robber gang; but while the doctor fumbled in his saddle bags for a pistol which wasn't there, the third Indian, with the lowest of salaams, held up a bottle and tiny glass and humbly insisted on drinking healths with us. To resist their drunken caprice would have been folly, so we both put the dirty glass to our lips with due ceremony and "Salud," (to our health) of course without tasting the beverage, what ever it may have been, and then, whipping up our weary nags, we tossed some small coin to the convivial Quichuat,and left-them happy by tne wayside. ' Fannie B. "Waed. AN ENGLISH LADY'S TRIUMPH. DIUl Fbillppa Fawcett's Grrat Feat Lesson to tbe Crnlcs. London Spectator. It must be pleasant to Hiss Philippa Eawcett to know that while winning a name for herself and the possibility of a career, she has delighted all the women in the kingdom cultivated enough to understand her triumph. She bas gratified to the full a jealousy of sex which has, we suspect, helped tor many years past to stimulate English women to intellectual exertion. That jealousy has probably been felt by able women in all ages and all countries, by the great Roman lady as by tbe Indian Begum or Banee; but of late, and in En cland, circumstances have developed it into something like a passion. Host feats of our day being civil feats, and most successes achieved by. intellectual capacity, able women have felt that they could do or could achieve them all if they had only a fair chance, and have waxed wroth in their hearts, sometimes, indeed, also with their tongues, because able men did not, as they thought, wilHnely acknowl edge their mental equality with themselves. They wanted io proe it. not only by pro duction, which in some fields of literature they had already done, but by some directly competitive test, the genuineness of which no educated man, however cyuical as to their claims, would have the hardihood to deny. They were notcontented with George Eliot or Mrs. Browning, for these women possessed genius, and genius proves noth ing, that wind blowing where it listeth; but they were grateful to Miss Prideaux for winning that broad gold medal so seldom granted even to male anatomists; more grateful to Hiss Agncta Ramsey for beating all the men of her year in classical attain ments; most grateful to Hiss Fawcett for coming out in the mathematical tripos well in advance of the Senior "Wrangler. It was in the study of exact science tbat impudent men said that women were sure to fail, and to triumph in mathematics over the whole academic world was indeed sweet, so sweet, so contenting, so productive of mental rest, that it would not surprise us if lemale enercy showed for a year or two symptoms olfalling off. At least, it will be felt, women have been first in the men's special field lor intellectual athletics. Thev have won the chariot race at Olympia, ancl must be qualified for the reins. AVOIDING POISON VINES. Simple Itolrs Asalnet Two of the Terrors ef Flowr-CoTins; BInnktnd. Harper's Young People. There need be no trouble in identifying the poison ivy in any of its forms. The hairy trunk will often serve us, but there are two other features which are ot much more value. First let us remeirber tbat its leaves are always grouped in threes what ever the outlines of their more or less wavy margins. In some sections the plant is al ways called the "three-leaved ivy." Four things need to be committed to memory to insure safety against our poison znmachs: First The thTee-leaved Ivy is dangerous. Second The fire-leared is harmless. Third The poison-sumachs nave ithn.f.r. rles. Fourth No red-berried sumach Is poison ous. Both the poison ivy and the poison sumach, though unlike in appearance of foliage, have similar white berries growing in small slender clusters lrom the axils of the leaves. In all other sumachs the berries are red and in close bunches at the ends of tbe branches, and far lrom being dangerous, yield a iroity-looking acid which is most agreeable to the taste, and wholesome withal. With these simple precepts fixed in the mind, no one need fear the dangers of the thickets. A TYPICAL 0TJT1N&. Fielding Investigates a Sample New York Summer Excursion. BAEELY ESCAPES WITH HIS LIFE. The Merry Dance on the Deck and Athletic Sports on Shore. SETTLI5G AN ELECTION CONTEST, IWKITTIX FOR Till DISTATCH.I I have been making a study of the sum mer excursion, which is with us once more, and which, in common with other season able complaints, will be Checked only by the approach of cold weather. The con clusion at which I have arrived after a per sonal investigation almost fatally thorough, and occupying nearly the whole of the longest day of my life, is that the summer excursion as a source of joy is less desirable than malaria, though slightly preferable" to hydrophobia, which it resembles in many important particulars, among which may be mentioned its unrufiled serenity and its aversion to water as a beverage. Iaminclined to the belief that the kind of excursion which I shall describe is con fined to New York Bay and adjacent waters. I know that Down East where I was born, when Deluge Fire Engine No. 2 went across the bay and contested with No. 3, of Bel fast, He., in a competition designed to show the relative capacities of the engines for water and the companies lor rum-and-mo-lasses, we used to think that two men dead and a half dozen in jail was a very fair sort of an excursion; but, bless you, for real ad- On With the Dance. yanced civilation, that is no more to be com pared to the New York or Jersey City out ing than the ox teams standing outside our hall on town meeting day are to the Black; Horse Cavalry at Albany. HONOES IT IN SPIEIT. For the purpose of ray investigation I bought a ticket which entitled me as a "gent" to taste the delights of the John B. Smith Association's tenth grand annual ex cursion. This pleasure trip was designed to celebrate the 45th birthday ol the distin guished patron, Mr. Smith. That eminent statesman of the Fourth ward accepts these grand annual compliments gratelully, but he attends the excursions only in the spirit, of which he always sends a large quantity from bis saloon, accompanied by one of his lieutenants to whom the bar privileges have been let for the day. If Mr. Smith had begun the practice of attending in the body when the ''first grand annual" occurred, the association would now be named after somebody else, because Hr. Smith would be where excursions on tbe cool and rippling waters are ardently de sired, but wholly unobtainable. The boys excuse his absence because "Smith's a good feller, but he's no use in a fight." The day set for the excursion dawned red hot, and as I made my way to the pier I congratulated myself that I was to sail away from the heated city. "When I saw the barge upon which most of the party had already em barked I was much disappointed. NOT DtrSIB ANIMALS THIS TIME. I bad once seen snch a craft upon the river and had supposed that it was used lor transferring Western cattle across the Hud son. My sympathies had been enlisted on behalf of the poor dumb animals. The barge bad been empty on that occasion, but it was now crowded and the animals were not dumb. A gang was Hanging over the rail on the upper deck and loudly disputing facts From Smith's Lieutenant. with a similar gang on tbe lower deck. As the arguments consisted principally of beer bottles theupper deck seemed likely to win. Meanwhile a band, concealed as o ne might suppose for its own protection, was maltreating a popular tune in a Very satis factory manner. I had long felt a desire to see that tune get what it deserved, and the time had come. Encouraged by this act of justice, I boarded tbe boat, and made my way to the upper deck without bloodshed. There I found most ol the younger "gents" and the ladies. A space was being cleared either lor a dance or a ring fight or both. Bv this time we were under way and headed for Staten Island, but I had' little sympathy tor the island. I know the place and it deserves all it gets. "Varieties of malaria and mosquitoes which are only a little too good to live in New Jersey make their home in Staten Island; the beer is very bad; and the little malodorous waves that grease the shore consist principally ot refuse irom the Standard oil refineries at Constable Hook. DANCING ON THE DECK. I joined the crowd that was watching the merry dance and shutting oS the air lrom the dancers. The John B. Smith Associa tion understands its business in the ball room, either afloat or ashore, and when its floor manager .asks a gent to fill a set in a quadrille, he fills it or bis coffin. I was fortunate enough to recognize this fact by intuition so that I did not bandy word's with Floor Hanager Gilligan ("Stumpy" Oilligan. middle weight; bested Tommy the Kid in four rounds, and fought tbe Doug Island City Terror to a draw in the sprinz of '87) when he said: "Come, fill in dere, Slim Jim. Take de lady to yer right. Hiss Astor. Mr. Bothschild; look slippy now, for de band's just goin' to take a fall out of another tune." I tried to be cheerful and exclaimed: "On with the dance I" in tout- intended to express ereat joy, but Gilligan said: "No back talk, young feller. De cook says he's short o' cold meat, an' there's no knowin' who'll fill de vacancy. See?" THBOUQH THE MAJIY FIGUBES, Thus encouraged I took my place; Stumpy called "time" and the band came up smil ing. I must confess tbat I had little cause to complain of "Hiss Astor." She went through the figures correctly, with exactly as much somnambulistic indifference to her partner's existence as if she had been brought up ou Fifth avenue. The spectral unconcern of the girl who dances with a fellow when she would prefer somebody else is one of the things that has driven me to a more serious life. I observed, however, that" she was much interested in the young man with whom she waltzedalter the quadrille was over. The young gents of the John B. Smith Associa tion understand waltzing. They don't waste any time skipping about, except when they see a clear space on the floor and take a slide for it out of the crowd. When they get the needed room they simply spin round in it, the yonng man turning backward on one foot a's a pivot and dragging the heel of the other foot after him. while the sole of his shoe stick up nearly straight like a grave-stone. His chin, meanwhile, reclines on the young woman's shoulder, but not hard enough to keep his mouth shut, and his eyes look up at her bang with an ex pression suggestive of Kaphael's cherubs. THE BACKETS DOWN BELOW. I wandered away from the dancers and made my way. to the lower deck to learn, if possible, thearigin of an especially infernal racket which suddenly arose in that quarter. There had been many infernal racketson the lower deck before, but this one, as I have said, was especially so. It proved to be nothing more serious than a small fight. When I got there it was over, but that was of jio consequence to me, a' several others were about to begin. I found a young man, whom I recognized as a reporter named Adams.eetting points about the fight from a big-beaded man, who proved 'o be one of Mr. Smith's Lieutenants. The conversation showed that the Lieutenant's sympathies were strongly with the victors in the 'little unpleasantness, and when he moved away I asked Adams why he didn't get the other eide of tbe story from the vanquished. "dn't," he Baid; "too late; they've all gone overboard." We landed at a pier near the little town of New Cologne, so named as an antidote to the oil works above mentioned. There we bad some athletic sports, consisting of racing, wrestling, fighting and a baseball match for a keg of beer, which was empty be "ore the end of the second inning. These interested some of the younger members of the party, but the older ones found a much better game in the village. MILLIGAN CABBIES THE ELECTION. There was an election in progress in New Cologne, and Milligan discovered that one of the candidates had been a friend of his at school. I inquired, in some surprise, what school Hr. Milligan had ever attended, and the reply was: Beforni school, you I" but I protest tbat I am not as big a fool as this man said I was. At this moment Mr. Milligan appeared on the scene and said: "Now, boys, are yez wid me or agin me? My friend Johnson is 20 votes behind. Shall we snow de other feller under?" "Will we?" howled the gang, "well, watch us." Then Milligan led the way to the polls. There was naturally some protest on the Adams Leaves the Boat. part of the election officers, but in one hour from that time the man who Hadn't voted at least twice was no "true son of the old Four' ward," as Hr. Milligan expressed it. When the Johnson taction received this formidable addition to its ranks, the constable- and other officers of the law quietlv slipped away tosecure assistance, and at the end of tbe hour they returned so well rein forced tbat Hr. Milligan ordered a retreat. It was a running h'ht from there to the boat. I am exceptionally good at that kind of a fight, and I was the first man to cross the gang-plank. THEY SAILED AWAY T7NCAPIUBED. I never fully realized why it was called that kind of a plank till I saw the others come aboard. It was considerably past the T hour lor leaving when tbey arrived, so that tne main ooay oi tne excursionists was on board when the Milligan party, pursued by the constables, arrived. Some of the more courageous of the latter followed, but the captain cut bis lines and we sailed away. The constables left the boat within the first hundred yards from the shore without hav ing made any arrests. Just then T observed Hr. Adams ap proach Mr. Milligan with his notebook in nis nana. juuiigan turned on mm in wrath. "Yez want to nut dis t'ing in de paper, do yez?" he yelled; "Yez want to cast ojum on the John B. Smith Association? I'll kick de bloomin' " At this moment Hr. Adams left the boat. I saw him leave just as I climbed a flag staff in order to be out ol the way, for I hate to intrude. I remained at half-mast, so to speak, dur ing the rest of the voyage. ' HOWABD FlELDINO. FBIGHTEHEB BY A WOMAN. A Bnrslnr, Who Atltrvrard Killed a Mad, Fled Before n Delicate LnJi. "I remember a desperate burglar," said a New York police officer the other d3y, "who was hanged for killing a man whose house he had been caught robbing, telling me that the only time he actually felt scared at finding himself face to face with one of the inmates ot the house he was 'cracking' was when a slight, delicate woman, clad only in her night dress, came running down the stairs and, putting her hand on his arm, in quired in a terrified tone: " 'What's the matter? Is there a burglar in the house? Oh, protect tnel' "In her terror she did not think of him as the robber, and the evident comfort it gave her to find some one to 'protect' her gave him a new sensation altogether. "He was staggered a moment by the sit uation, but hearing other inmates moving upstairs who had evidently been aroused by her loud exclamations, he quickly said: 'Certainly, ma'am; I'll protect you have no fear. Just stand here behind the door while I look in the kitchen, where the noise seems to come from.' "'Oh, thank yon, she replied, as he slipped out into the kitchen, picked up his shoes and vanished out of the window, leaving this booty piled upon the floor in a tablecloth, which he was just tying up when the woman came upon hiru." A WOMAN DID IT. Mia Lydla Booth Had Money Intended for n Hnspltnl Used to Found Vniaatr College. Harper's Bazar. Yassar College owes its existence to a woman, Hiss Dydia Booth, cousin of the iounder, Matthew Yassar. Mr. Yassar was planning a hospital on the plan of Quy's Hospital, in London, at bis bequest to the community, when his kinswoman suggested the founding of a colleee for women, which should be to them what Yale and Harvard were to men. Immediately application was made for a charter, and in 1861 there came into being Vassar College, which on each izth ol June celebrates "Founders Day. SAGES WHO ADTISE. Sometimes They Are Worth Listening- to,, bnt More Often ftot. THE IKEIPEBIEKCED TALK MOST. Theoretical Nonsense Won't Stand Against Practical Sense. A PEW ILLUSTRATIONS OF THE PACT rWBITTEN TOE THB DIsrATCH. The best way to cheer and comfort a troubled child is to bid it "nevermind;" at least that is the method adopted by all grown-up English speaking people. I tried to soothe a small friend of mine in that way once, and her reply epitomized a large share of the philosophy of human life: "It's easy for tbem that's got nothing the matter with 'em to say never mind I" It is a fact, universally known and very generally admitted, that the place to have a boil is on some other person's nose. So long as you have it there you know exactly how to treat it, and can study it in a spirit de void of all narrow prejudice; whereas if you have it elsewhere on your own nose, for example you find much difficulty in maintaining that calm balance of mind which is so essential to the proper consid eration of boils, as of other nfllicting ills. I forget whether it was Charles La nib, or Douglass Jerrold, or neither of them, who said that he never read a book before re viewing it "because it prejudices a man sol" The People Who Give Advice. Truly I think all these things must have been considered by many of the people who thrust so much advice upon us byword of mouth and by stroke of pen. A little exam ination of their teachings brings conviction that old bachelors ana; spinsters are bent on telling us just how to manage our children; women who live in boarding houses give copious counsel to housekeepers; men who never earned a dollar or saved a cent be cause of necessity, tell us how to economize; people who never go from home tell us how to travel with the greatest comfort and profit; persons living on the equatorgive in structions for finding the Nortb Pole, and millionaires preach contentment to the very poor. Not all of our advice comes from such un practiced sources; but a vast amount of it can be explained in no other way, unless we would be uncharitable to those who bestow it. Well, why complain? There are cer- tain principles wnicn govern every con ditiou of life, and those principles can be understood through study. Experience is not always necessary. A man don't have to be in a railroad wreck to help other people out of it. A' rich man may understand the governing forces of poverty better than a poor man. A person who never painted a picture may know more about art than an other who earns his bread by it. A woman who never scrnbbed a floor may know ex actly what is essential to the perfection of housekeeping. In short, the looker-on sees more of the game than the players; and in the philosophical division of labor it is meet tbat he should give advice, and that the others should follow it. Experience of a Home Wife. Perhaps. But on the other hand practical conditions are apt to have their way in spite of theories. The man who never was in the water cannot be a very reliable instructor in swimming; and the woman who never saw a' washboard is not likely to give verv valu able advice about washing day. In "one of her rare moments of leisure I surprised a busy house wife with pencil and paper in her hands. She had just finished a calcula tion, and announced the result with a sigh and a smile. "I find the day would have to be just 48 hours long," she said. "That would give me 47 hours and a half for work, and half an hour for sleep. By not polishing the bottom of my teakettle I might squeeze in an hour's sleep. But the day would have to be 48 hours long any way. And that with no children to take up my time. Ir I had children, every day would have to run over into next week or eise I'd have to leave some of the things undone. She pointed to a pile ot periodicals be side her. "I've been studying a series of household articles here. They were writ ten for the benefit of women who have to do their own work, and the object is to estab lish such a thorough system that every minute may be turned to the best possible account. I suppose you have read just 'such things. Pretty nearly everything that's printed has them in one shape or another. This writer fairly revels in detail. I think it must be a man. A woman who knew so much would know a little more. Anyhow he tells ex actly what must be" done, "exactly how to do it, and exactly when, so as to keep the sys tem straight. "And under this system the wjman who does her own work is to spend the latter part of every day dressed up. She is to keep up with her church work; leave no so cial duty unattended to; keep abreast of the current literature; by no means let go of her music; keep her accounts to the smallest decimal point; take up a special subject for study or reading; entertain now and then; keep a supply of smiles to give her hus band the minute he come in; and whatever else happens, never let her husband see her in her kitchen dress. Don t it sound de lightful? Well, all that is part ot the sys tem. bhe Figured op the Time. "I feel very wicked because I never really adopted the system. But at one time or another I have done most of the things pre scribed, so 1 know just about how much time each one requires. I've made a little list of the various duties, and opposite each item, I've put the time it would take. Then I'ye added up and averaged the time; and I find that each day's work would require at least 47 V hours. And even then I'm afraid John would citch me sometimes fn my kitchen dress, and without a smile. And I wouldn't be able to entertain as much as I'd like. "It's all nonsense! Here and there you can pick out a valuable hint, but the house keeper who would try to carry out such a system would come to grief in short order. Of course a well woman can keep her house in good trim and have some eujoyment be side. Plenty of them do it who never bothered their head" with any printed advice. . But there is just so much strength in a woman's back, and there are just so many hours in the day; and every woman has to do the best she can under those restrictions and let the rest go. She must judge for herself what she'll let go whether it shall be kitchen work, so cial dut , music, reading, dressing up, or those smiies lor her husbund. I try to keep the smiles, and as much else as I can." This was a wise woman; and if the one who devised the system had made an esti mate with paper and pencil to begin with, why, she or he would have been minus the income from that series of articles. Advice for the Sleeping Cnr. My lively and philosophical friend "does not travel very much; she has not the time, and passes are dimcuit to oDtaiu. other wise I would call her attention to a very captivating article I read some time ago. This was a letter of advice addressed to all ladies who are so unhappy ns to spend a night in a sleeping car. The writer gave simple and easily comprehended rules by the lollowing of which all lady travelers whatsoever may so refresh and beautify themselves in the morning that there shall be no taint or stain of journeying upou them. All the 'lady has to do is to have her trunk with her in the section (the uriter said hand-bag, but the trunk seems more reasonable), take from it in themornlngher brushes, combs, towel, bath sponge, fresh linen and dressing eown. and proceed with them to the washroom belore anybody else UjE'ts there. Then she Is to lock tho door andj follow the rest of the instructions. Among these, as I recollect, is the direction to spread upon the floor the towels provided by the porter. On these the fair traveler is to stand while she takesa leisurely and copious sponge bath. Haste is to be avoided, as that is not restful or refreshing. T,hree quarters of an hour is the time prescribed for tbe performance, and at the end ot tbat time the follower of instructions is war ranted to come forth as fresh as a daisy and without a care ou her mind. For that mat ter she must have been pretty free from eare all the time, or she would 'have given a little thought to the other half dozen women standing outside the door through all those weary and exasperating 45 minutes, waiting for a chance to wash their laces and give their Iiair a hasty brushing before breakfast. Poverty is Expensive. Poverty is much moie expensive than wealth. Tbe rich man has every opportu nity to economize, and can turn every dol lar to tbe best advantage at the most advan tageous moment. The poor man can hardly economize at all. He can do without and he does; he can buy low-priced things, and he bas to if he buys at all; and most people call this economy, but it is not. It is pri vation on the one hand and enforced ex travagance on the other; for in the way of frequent renewals the low-priced things eventually cost more than the high-priced. To a man whom many years of bitter expe rience had filled nil of this dismal knowl edge came a well-meaning Iriend who had wealth and had never known poverty. "You should buy tbe best of everything that you do buy," he said. "I always do. It's the cheapest in the long run." "The long runl It's all I can do to make the short run. I know it costs more. Bnt I have a little money now and a little money next month. I never have enough at once to buy expensive things, and we caq't wait to put the two sums together; must always have things right away." ' "You could manage it somehow." I al ways do. Now, in little things, like shoes. You buy ready made shoes, one pair at a time. You ought to buy custom shoes. I always buy two or three pairs at once, and never wear the same pair two days in suc cession. That saves them wonderfully. And I tell vou the best is the cheapest." "Don't I know that? But it keeps me busy to buy one pair at a time for each of the children, and to get my old ones mended in between whiles, when I've the money to spare." "Well, at all events yon make a mistake in not bnying when you can buy at the best advantage. That's one thing that keeps people poor. They wait till winter to buy winter things, and so on. Buy out of season, when prices are down!" "Strawberries," for instance. Look here, neighbor! You know the whole theory of being poor, and I know the whole theory of being rich. Practice is another matter. ,If you had to practice, being poor awhile you'd do just as I do the best you could. And if I was rich well, I'd buy custpm-made snoesr .About Ibe Children. ' The strangest thing of all is that there should be any but healthy and properly trained children in the world. So much advice is given and given with snch au thority concerning them that it seems im possible tbat any two parents should go astray, even in the management of their first baby. As a matter of melancholy fact it is the first baby, the baby on which the most advice is expended, concerning which the most grievous mistakes are made. Its brothers and sisters come along serenely enough under the fostering hand of parental exoerience. "You spoil your children shamefully! They just run over you. You are up nights with them, and do all sorts of things you ought not. Now, I have never lost an hour's sleep with my baby, and I never will. If he takes a notion to cry in the night I'll just put him in another room and let him cry it out. And when he gets older I'll govern him in just the same way." This was the mother of a 2 months' old boy. She said it some years ago, and now she says nothing at all, but tbe neighbors say a good deal. For a more masterful, utterly spoiled youngster don't exist in the entircneighborbood. Those of us who have personal recollec tions ot army experiences can recall going to the mule corral sometimes to see the team sters catch the fiery and untamed animals. The catching was a task as difficult as it was exciting, and the breaking was more difficult and exciting still. One thing always to be noticed was tbat the newly re cruited teamster, the one who had. never crossed the lence around the corral, .was always the one who knew most about catch ing and breaking army mules. He had his theory, to which all mules would have to conform when he got at them. But the teamster who had been in the corral was much more modest. Ho had learned that every fresh mule was a fresh problem. And in that particular army mules are a good deal like babies. James C. Pubdy. A TOY FOB THE EMPEE0B. Tbe BUnlatnre Railroad Which la In Opera tion In LI IIudb CUang'a City. About two years ago they presented a complete miniature railway to the Emperor through Li Hung Chang, and the line, which is about three miles long, is laid down within the imperial city. The young Emperor is very much interested in its workings, and spends a great deal of his time in riding to and fro in the beautifully appointed little carriages. He was greatly struck with the toy railway and its influence upon the recent decree has been very considerable, Tbe old reaction ary party among his advisers were adverse to the miniature line being laid down with in the precincts of the s tcred city and it was very near being returned to the donors. But the Government was .afraid lest it should give ofiense to the French, who are greatly feared and respected since they burned and sank tbe Chinese fleet At first the high authorities would not allow any foreigners to have a hand in lay ing down or working tbe model railway. The result was when they started the lit tle engine they could not stop it, and great consternation was occasioned to the occu pants in the palace by their inability to con trol the strange contrivance of the foreigners, which dashed along the line till it was pulled up by coming in contact with a mound of earth. Since then, honever, a French driver has been procured, aud the Emperor is a fre quent traveler upon the cars. MT7SHB00MS FB0M TUE5IP3. An Enterprising; Fellow ConnterfelM the Delicate EacuIenU London Telegraph, j An individual living in the Department of the Aveyion, struck by tbe high price at which mushrooms were being sold in his district, conceived the idea of fabricating the delicacy out of turnips. He cut the turnips into rounds, dried them, and alter giving tbem a dab of the paintbrush, dis posed oi them to unsuspecting customers as the genuine article. For some time he drove a thriving trade, but unluckily for him one day sold a batch to a gourmet who was not so easily to be taken in. Indignant at the trick played on him, the gourmet brought an action, which has just resulted in the condemnation of tbe mush room manufacturer to two months' imprison ment. Tbe Intc lanc Word. St. Louis has a new slang word sprung on the town by a street gamin. The word is 'Tony," and it means a fraud, a fake, or anything that is not what it pretends to be. It is supposed to have its origin from the phonograph, beoausc the phonograph imi tates. 'Do Waa Jo. Detroit Free Press." Bobert Were you in your office when the collector called to see yon? Henry Yes, and he dun me up too. AUTOGRAPH HTJUTING flow Officials at Washington and Their Wives Are Annoyed. GROVER CLEVELAND IS CAUTIOUS. Something Ahont the Penmanship ' Few Well-EuoTfa Ladies. of a BEN: PERLEI POOEL'S COLLECTION. (CORRESPONDENCE 0 Tint DISPATCH.! "Washington, June 28. Washington is one of the greatest autograph centers of the United States. Every society lady has her autograph album, and the pages of Con gress get an income equal to their salaries by carrying around autograph books to the Senators, Representatives and Supreme Court Judges. The charges of one of them is $5 lor the Senate, $3 for the Supreme Court and more than this amount for the House. The President receives hundreds of applications for autographs every day and I saw a great pile of morocco bonnd volumes lying on his messenger's desk when I went to the "Wnite House this afternoon. Mrs. Harrison's autograph is quite as much in demand as the President's, bnt is not so easy to get. She writes' a fine, small hand, slanting hrr strokes in the true Spencerian manner and running the r's of the Harrison very much together. The most of her correspondence is done on the paper of tbe Executive Mansion and these two words form the die of silver and gold at the head of her sheets. Shortly be fore President Harrison's Inauguration a letter was written by one of his family, say ing tbat he would patronize American paper makers. He does so to a certain ex tent, but shortly after he got into the White House an order was given for some royal Irish linen, which is the most popular paper with our society ladies. A great part of Mrs. Harrison's correspondence goes through the hands of her daughter, Mrs. McKee, and she Baves the President's wife much time. Mary Harrison McKee is a beauti ful writer. She signs herself "Yours most sincerely" when writing to her most inti mate friends and always puts tbe Harrison in her name. AFBAID OF I"BAJD. Tbe Cabinet Ministers are almost as much bothered for autographs as the President, and it is almost impossible to get the signa tures of the Cabinet Ministers' wives. The Cabinet Ministers are in some instances chary about sending out tbeir signatures broadcast and none of them like to give the:r autographs on blank sheets of paper. President Cleveland would not write his autograph anywhere except in a book, for the reason, he said, that something might be written over his signature by an unscru pulous,person and used as an indorsement Still it is not hard to get a signature like that or Jeremiah Busk, tbe bluff old Secre tary of Agriculture, who writes a big round schoolboy hand. You could crowd three of his wife's signatures into one of his and Mrs. Busk writes a plain, old-fashioned screed, with no frills or fnrbelows about it. Itismuch like herself and looks like the sig nature of a good motherly lady of the old school. Mrs. Secretary Windom would make a good writing teacher. She has an elegant handwriting and her Iine3 are as regular as those of a copybook. It is different with tbe wife of the Secretary of the Interior. Mrs. Noble seems to have no rule whatever as to tbe formation ot her letters, and it would take an expert forger to counterfeit one of her signatures. She is very decided in her views, is a woman of ideas, and you can almost read her charac ter in her handwriting. She signs herself Elizabeth H. Noble, uses plain paper and answers all of her correspondence herself. A CBtJSTX JUSTICE. By all odds tbe most aristocratic element outside of the diplomatic counts of onr Washington circ'istbat of the Supreme Conrt. The Justices are sure of $10,000 a year for life, and they know they are bound to have enonch to live in style to the end of their days. In time a certain code of eti quette has grown up aronndthem, and the Supreme Court circle is like none other here. The autographs of tbe old judges are very easy to get, with one or two excep tions, for the brainy ones among them are good natured and are always willing to oblige tbe autograph hunter. There is one crusty man among tbem, however, and that is Justice Gray, of Massachusetts, who goes out bunting in an English shooting costume, and has lots of English fads about him, extending to tbat of exclusiveness. This exclusiyeness prevents him from giving out his autographs promis cuously, and leads himself to act at times in a most obnoxious way. His wife, however, is the daughterofthelate Stanley Matthews, and she probably has more of the democratic manners of Ohio about her. Mrs. Stanley Matthews is not at all snobbish, and she is oneot the popular women of the Supreme Court circle. She is a good corresDondent, and she writes on linen paper in a straight np and down band. AUTOOBAPH OF TOM COB-WT. Mrs. Justice Matthews was married twice, and her first husband was Judge Tbeaker, who was Commissioner of Patents under President Lincoln, and was a very distin guished man at the time of the war. This writing ot autographs makes me think of a story be once told me. I met him here at Washington, and, knowing that he came irom Ohio, asked him if he was acquainted with Tom Corwin. "Yes," he replied, "I knew Tom Corwin very well, and I have in fact one of his au tographs in my pocket which cost me $500." "How is that Jndge?" said I. "It is just this," said he, and he there upon polled out his pocketbook and showed me a note of Corwin's, in which be prom ised to pH" Judge Theaker 5500 within 30 days. "I gave Mr. Corwin this money." continued Mr. Theaker. "when I was Com missioner of Patents. He came into my of fice and told me that he wanted it. I had no bank account in the city, and I told him I had not the money. He replied that if he could raise it in three days be could save himself $2,000, and he said he could raise this if he had my check or $300. I gave him the check on condition that he would not present it for two days, and after he left J borrowed the money aud placed it to my credit fh tbe bank. It was duly drawn, and a few days later Corwin went back to Ohio. This was'in October, 1865. In December he died, and that was the last I saw of my money. He was always indorsing tor other people and kept himself poor by paying bail debts." MES. CLEVELAND'S "WAS EXPENSIVE. Five hnndred dollars is a pretty good price to pay 'or an autograph, btillainan offered that much for one of Mrs. Cleve land's signatures when she was in the White House, and at an autograph sale in New York not long ago one o Martha Washing- I ton's letters sold for $151. A manuserint of Harriet lieecher btowe s brought $20 and other specimen oi the penmanship of noted women brought equally high prices. Queen Victoria is a great autograph hunter, and she has one of the most remark able collections ot autographs in existence. She has autographs of many of the noted leaders and generals ot the late Civil War, and Colonel Boteler, who was a mem ber of the Contederate Congress and who served here in the Department ot Justice, added to her collection not long ago by sending ber a letter written by Stonewall Jackson to bim while he was a member ot the Confederate Congress, in which Jackson said he hoped that Congress would pass a bill prohibiting the delivery of maijs on Sunday. .Boteler was on Jackson's staff, and he says that Jackson would do nothing on Sunday and would not mail a letter at such a time that it would have to travel on Sunday to reach its destination. CHAKACTEk IK SIGNATDBE3. LWe have in Washington many society adies who think they can read character.. through autographs, and they claim that they can tell as much about a person from, his handwriting as from his or her photo graph. This is true to a certain extent. The positive nature of Senator Cockrell's wifo may be seen in the bold up and down strokes with which she pens ber name, and. by looking at the signature of the wife of Senator Blair you may see the influence of tbe Green Mountains of New Hampshire and of the association with a man who has made himself famous in educational legisla- tion. The noted Southern ladies of Washing ton society are as a rule good writers. Tho most of them are finely educated. They come of good families and are women of culture. Mrs. Senator Butler writes a straight np and down hand and is one of the Congressional ladies who uses her bus band's initials and puts the term of "Mrs." before them. This is the same with the wife of George T. Barnes, of Georgia, Mrs. Senator Jones, of Arkansas, and Mrs. Pet tigrew, of South Dakota. Mrs: Silver Dollar Bland ues ber husband's initials and so does Mrs. General Lee. The wife of tbe Senator from Texas acts as ber hus band's private secretary. She knows quita as well how to prepare a bill as John H. Beagan and she can write a business letter which would read well in a business col lege. She gets $6 a day for helping her husband in this way. She signs herself Mrs. John H. Eeagan Mrs. Carlisle signs herself with her husband's initials and so does Sirs. Bepresentative Caruth and Mrs. Senator Bate. SIRS. LOGAN'S WORK. Mrs. General Logan is making lots of money by her pen. Her paper has reached a circulation, I am told, of nearly 100,000 copies, and she spends a part of every day in editorial wortr. She is very particular as to the paper she uses in her writing, and is fond of the tinted variety. Her privata letters have a silver die at the head of the first sheet, and on the last page you will see in bold letters the signature "Mary S. Logan." Mrs. Sneaker Beed is a cood writer, and if ber signature is any index, she bas quits as much character as her husband. She writes a straight up and down hand, uses her own initials, and always puts a period at the end of her signature. Mrs. Senator Spooner writes a very fair hand. She comes of a literary family, and has more than or dinary literary ability. She uses plain pa- ' per, and signs herself "Annie M. Spooner." One of the wealthiest ladies ol Washing ton is Mrs. Boswell P. Flower. Her hus band is worth SlO.dOO.OOO, and Mrs. Elowi er's check is good for $100,000 any day of the week. She is very liberal in her char ities, and a great many checks signed by her find their way to poor people. She signs herseli Sarah M. Flower, and she spends-a good deal on paper. She uses the best of paper, and her invitations and dinner cards during a session cost as much as a clerk's salary. ben: peblet pooee's collection. One of the best autograph collections of Washington was that of BentPerleyPoore's, which sold for a song after bis death. Ha bad about 20,000 signatures of prominent men in this country and Europe, and ha had the handwriting of the most noted la dies of the past century. The most inde fatigable collector among the Senators was Tabor, of Colorado, who had a book as biz as a family Bible, and who went around during the Senate sessions with this big book in one hand and a blotting pad in tha other, asking his fellow Senators to sign for bim. His beautiful wife sat and looked on from the gallery, and Tabor would point her out to the Senators as he went around. Some of the Senators do not like to sign in these autograph books and some noted la dies will not give their autographs. . When Cleveland first came into tha White House the demand for autographs was so great tbat it was suggested that Cleveland let one of the clerks sign his name for him. He refused to do this and said: "I am able to use my right hand and arm and it does not take long to sign my name. II such a little thing pleases these people I will do it." He then had a lot of cards made with the Executive Mansion printed in one corner and he signed these and gave tbem to his Secretary to send away in response to ap plications by mail. BEPBOVED BY A CHINAMAN. Tbe diplomats are often asked for auto graphs, and one lady not long ago got a pictnre of one of the members of the Chinese Legation and the young man put his auto graph on the back of it, together with a lot of characters which he called Chinese poetry. The girl who got the picture went to a Chinese scholar and got nini to translate this. The Chinese gentlemen had written tbe following: "In the Celestial Empire, where people called pagans toil, it is not considered becoming in a young maiden to ask for tha picture ot a young man, and suh as would do so would be punished tor immodesty; but in this laud where civilization is at its heightyoung ladies permit themselves to do things which their heathen sisters would blush even to mention." Whether the girl kept the picture or not after this I do not know, but I don't believs she valued the autograph. Do yon? Miss Gbundt, Jb. "Thank joo, no other dressfcir t at mo but Wolff's Blacking If ronand jonrccstomers are dissatlsfledifitals, Itis because 70a did not know how to m it.1 4ak in Faint, Drag- and Uou$a Turnithing Storm for PUL-Bon, wkieh will Stain Old o. new runnrrant Tarnltli wiu. STAin Class anb Chinawarc at th will Stain tinware same) WILL STAIN IOUR OLD BASKETS time. WILL STAIN SABT-S COACH AND tvv 7. 70L7F " RANDOLPH, PMadolpbio. rnhZJ-TTSSTJ LADIES Who Value a Refined Complegfog MUST USE MEDICATED et-a2- 3 3 SaasE- Xt Imparts abrllllant transparency to th Skin. Kemoves all pimples, freckles, and discoloration, and makes the skin dsUcato ly soft and beautiful. It contains no lime, white lend or arsenic. In three tlTlTlflPtil pink or flesh, white and brunette. FOB SATYR BY Ul tonggists Md Faacy Goods Daltn freTjwk-v BEWARE OF IMITATIONS.. ffl Ay f-CTTf ' iPIK-OON m A PAINT THAT 0 m CAM t TMAQVtr.TmV pftUP pi 4 ?, ,w