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THE PITTSBUEG DISPATCH, SUNDAY, JUNE " 29,
L890.
15
BEEEINe THE GRIiJ.
4-
Experience of a Dispatch Correspond
ent in South America.
CAUGHT AT LAST IN BOLIVIA.
Katare'fl Wonders Beyond the Andes Kear
the Amazon Headwaters.
f
;th beautiful tallei op iukgas
iCOBBltSrONDZXCX OF THE DISrJLTCH.
La Paz, Bolivia, May 24. We hive
been fleeing, far and fast, before the dread
ful grip, bat with indifferent success. It
was hoped that the indefatigable traveler,
which bat nearly circumnavigated the
globs, might somehow miss South America,
but like a thier in the night it came, appear
ing simultaneously on both sides of the con
tinent, in Buenos Ayres, Valparaiso and
lama, soon making sad havoc in all the
coast cities.
At that time we were in the midst of
some most interesting researches in Peru;
but as one of onr party is a consumptive,
traveling expressly to prolong his span of
life, and another had been repeatedly warned
by physicians to escape influenza at any
cost, ou account of chronic throat trouble,
we stood not upon the order of going, but
went at once. Stopping awhile in Are
quipa, a lovely old city in Eastern Pern, it
haDpcned oiie day" that the whole
garrison ol wretched soldiers feli down as
one man under the stern grasp of the grip.
Then we fled to Bolivia, the great bnt
almost unknown republic that lies, corner
wise, ietween Pern, Brazil, the Argentine
country and Chili, in the vain hope that the
disease might expend its force near sea level
and not cross the intervening Cordilleras ot
the Andes, the seven successive walls, snow
topped and sky-piercing, with the deserts
and great lake that lie between.
BELENTLESS IK ITS PCESUIT.
But at La Paz again we had reckoned
without our host, and one fine morning
. awakened to the knowledge that fnlly 75
per cent of the city's population were wrest
ling with the scourge! There was bnt one
way of escape, to run away into the interior.
An arriero, or muleteer, was quickly en
gaged, who supplied a mule for each person
and several lor carrying our beds, provision,
hampers and other luggage; a mozo, or man
servant, was taken in tow, and early one
morning the flight into Egypt began.
Bnt alasl The enemy from which we
fled went with us, in the ihroat of the arriero.
The second day out he developed the grip
in its worst form, which speedily ran into
pneumonia. "We were compelled to leave
the poor fellow at a farmhouse, after doing
all that was possible for his comfort, leaving
medicines and money with the people who
took him in charge; but in little more than
a week he was dead.
While on the influenza subject, it may
not be amiss to add a few farts concerning
its caprices on the Southern Continent. In
the higher altitudes the disease has been
uniformly light, unless the luugs became
involved, in which case death was almost
sure to ensue. Among the people of the
coast a larger percentage of cases have been
fatal. The Cbilian newspapers state, with
what truth I do not know, that the disease
returned to some villages which it had al
ready devastated and in many instances at
tacked the same victims a second time.
AliOKO A MOUNTAIN PATHWAY.
The round trip between the cities of La
Paz and Chulumani, the latter beiug the
capital of the department ol Yungas, is a
distance of about 272 Yankee miles.
Though most of the products that are used
in and exported from Bolivia come from the
narrow Yungas Valley, and though the
Government annually expends a large sum
on the alleged road thereto, the only high
way of centuries is mostlva narrow trail,
cut round and roncd the edges of tbe
mountains, sometimes ziszarging to and fro
over their perpendicular faces, like the
tacking or a ship. Llamas, those strange
animals that are found only in the Andes,
are also used as beasts of burden in the
mountains, bnt as they cannot live below
a certain elevation they are never seen near
tea level.
The wonder is that any road at all could
ever have been made in these stupendous
heights. On the first dav out, about 18
miles from La Paz and 4.000 feet above it,
the highest point is attained, called Alto del
Cruz, which is 2,400 leet higher than the
very top of Pike's Peak, or about 16,000
feet nearer the stars than vou are at home.
The "Alto" extends almost on a dead
level lor several mil's before a gradual
descent begins. At any time of year the
traveler away up here is apt to encounter a
snow storm, the big, round flikes that
look like hail melting as they fall, wetting
bis garments through and through, while a
stinging wind chills him. to the marrow.
Ju addition to the usual programme a
thunder storm was thrown in for our enter
tainment, lightning playinc in the clouds
below and hollow echoes reverbrating from
peak to peak. Of course, our animals
suffered severely and were obliged to halt
every few moments, panting painfully;
while we, between the wet and bitter cold,
bad not a breath to spare with which to
urge them onward.
FOUND DEAD IN THE BOAS.
To add to the general melancholy of this
most desolate spot, we passed the body of a
dead man lying prone across the road, with
glassy eyes starinsr un to the cheerless sky.
"Whether he had been murdered or had died
from natural causes, we dared not pause to
investigate, for if the former the finder of
the corpse might be held for months in La
Paz to give testimony in the slow process of
the Bolivian courts. A number of Indians
bad just discovered the unlortunate and to
their care we lelt bim.
From time immemorial these lonely moun
tains have been intcsted with bands of high
waymen, who murder even the poor Indian
on his return to Yungas from the sale of his
little crop of cocoa lor the sake of the few
dollars his half-year's work has gained. At
intervals all along the uninhabited part of
the highway the Government has caused
places of shelter for man and beast to be
erected. These are called tambos, and
each is in charge of a family. The
evening -deal, which is called by courtesy
"dinner," consists of two things, viz: coffee
and chupe, tbe latter a kind ot thick
soup, made of dried sheep which has been
stewed to the tenderness of an old boot top,
mixed with a eood deal of rice, various
seeds and vegetables, prominent among
which are onions, all made hotter than so
many spoonfuls of live coals bv means of
red peppers and aji. It is the national dish
of Bolivia, among all classes, hisrh and low,
and thousand? of families subsist entirely
upon it. Sometimes another dish is added
to tbe menu, but as a rule, if you are so un
reasonable as to imitate Oliver Twist in
calling for more, you must supply it from
your own stores.
BLEEP THE ONLY LTJXUEY.
Everybody sleeps the dreamless sleep of
the weary, until aroused next morning by
the watch ul arriero at the first glimmer of
dawning. Then one's troubles begin afresh.
For example, such an article as a washbowl
is an unknown quantity, on the road to
Yungas. Breakfast consists of nothing on
earth but bitter coflee without milk, unless
you choose to add to it a butterless lump of
your own bread. This you swallow shiver-
lngiy in tne pale morning twilight of the
mountains; and having paid as much for tbe
entertainment as for the same length ol time
in a "New York hotel, the mules are brought
up, and again you sally forth, thanking
Heaven "or having preserved tcuthuslar,
but teeling extremely doubt ul as to the
future. Almuerzo, or second, breakrast,
consisting also of chupe and coffee Is sure
to be lound somewhere along the road, be
tween 10 and 2 o'clock; anil by that time
your appetite is "sharp set" enough to en
jpyit The greatest artist that eTer lived could
not convey with brush and colors an ade
quate idea of the awe-inspiring grandeur of
the Andes; and certainly no pen-picture can
do them faintest justice. Seen from a
distance, their bare and totally inaccessible
sides look as black as ink, in contrast with
the extensive snow-fields above, which the
foot of mau or beast has never trodden. Oc
casionally a condor is seen the poet's
"proud bird of the Andes" slowly circling
to bis home above the clouds.
nation's wonderland.
Such waterfalls and cascades as come tum
bling down from unknown, heights to the
valley far, far below; some of them rivaling
in magnificence our own Niagara, or any
thing the Yosemite can show; while the
river which fills the center of the narrow
vallev. so lar beow our aerial track that it
looks'like' a thread of silver, is in reality a
raging cataract, dashing over giant boulders
with a noise loke thunder, for more than 60
miles outdoing the rapids above Niagara,
and nowhere navigable in all its course.
There are mountains on every hand, mount
ains everywhere, stretching away to the
horizon; while the range on the opposite side
or the valley, parallel to this we are slowly
traversing, appears almost near enough to
toss a stone from one to the other.
When the lowlands were reached, came
the new experience of fording the many
small rivers, but we found it preferable to
most of the bridges along the route frail
structures swung lrom tree to tree, and
swaying like cradles beneath us. When
once in the valley, no words can tell the
beauty of the luxuriance of the tropical veg
etation in solitudes where "Near to Nat
ure's Heart" is not an empty idea. There
were groves of wild banana trees, whose
broad leaves of brightest green are each
large enough for a tent; towering palms of
many species, wonderful orchids, shining
foliage, beauti ul flowers, and enormous
ferns whose perfect ironds waved high
above our heads. And then the birds of
brilliant plumage parrots, macaws, paro
quets the monkeys chattering among the
trees, gorgeous butterflies as large as the
palm of your hand, beetles dressed in green
and blue and gold, and other wonders en
countered at every step!
PRODUCTS OF THE VALLEY.
A portion of the highway to Yungas
capital is a mere foot path running tbrongh
the coffee groves of private plantations, and
between orange and lime trees crowdedso
closely together as to rake off our hats with
their branches, and render imminent the
fate of Absalom. The lower hillsides are
mostly laid out in terraced slopes for the
cultivation of cocoa, the great industry of
the valley.
There are many grottoes, or miniature
caverns by the wayside, formed by springs
or waterfalls forcing their way through
heaped-up boulders, where every inch of
rock is thickly covered with the most beau
tiful mosses and delicate maiden-hair ferns,
overhung by gigantic fronds and brilliant
flowers. Passing one of these, we saw in
side a number of half-naked Indian women
washing their clothes in the clear cascade,
while their lazy lords sat by circulating
sundry jugs and bottles among themselves.
It happened at the moment that the doctor
and I were lagging in the rear, and as we
rode by the customary "Buenos dias" (good
day) on our part, and "Ala-Ma" on theirs
were exchanged the latter word not mean
ing mother, as might be inferred, but in
Quichua language a token of greeting and
respect.
CHASED BY DBCKKES INDIANS.
To our surprise, up sprang three of the
Indians calling on us to stop, and who, in
spite of all our efforts at speed, kept almost
within reach of us. Up hill and down we.
went a mile or more, until, in a particularly
bad piece of road where the narrow trail
had not only the usual precipice on one side
and wall of'rock on the other, but turned an
abrupt curve that hid us from sight of our
companions, we were stopped short by the
hand of an Indian grasping the bridle of
each mule.
Naturally, we imagined them to be part
of the robber gang; but while the doctor
fumbled in his saddle bags for a pistol
which wasn't there, the third Indian, with
the lowest of salaams, held up a bottle and
tiny glass and humbly insisted on drinking
healths with us. To resist their drunken
caprice would have been folly, so we both
put the dirty glass to our lips with due
ceremony and "Salud," (to our health) of
course without tasting the beverage, what
ever it may have been, and then, whipping
up our weary nags, we tossed some small
coin to the convivial Quichuat,and left-them
happy by tne wayside. '
Fannie B. "Waed.
AN ENGLISH LADY'S TRIUMPH.
DIUl Fbillppa Fawcett's Grrat
Feat
Lesson to tbe Crnlcs.
London Spectator.
It must be pleasant to Hiss Philippa
Eawcett to know that while winning a name
for herself and the possibility of a career,
she has delighted all the women in the
kingdom cultivated enough to understand
her triumph. She bas gratified to the full
a jealousy of sex which has, we suspect,
helped tor many years past to stimulate
English women to intellectual exertion.
That jealousy has probably been felt by
able women in all ages and all countries,
by the great Roman lady as by tbe Indian
Begum or Banee; but of late, and in En
cland, circumstances have developed it
into something like a passion.
Host feats of our day being civil feats, and
most successes achieved by. intellectual
capacity, able women have felt that they
could do or could achieve them all if they
had only a fair chance, and have waxed
wroth in their hearts, sometimes, indeed,
also with their tongues, because able men
did not, as they thought, wilHnely acknowl
edge their mental equality with themselves.
They wanted io proe it. not only by pro
duction, which in some fields of literature
they had already done, but by some directly
competitive test, the genuineness of which
no educated man, however cyuical as to
their claims, would have the hardihood to
deny. They were notcontented with George
Eliot or Mrs. Browning, for these women
possessed genius, and genius proves noth
ing, that wind blowing where it listeth; but
they were grateful to Miss Prideaux for
winning that broad gold medal so seldom
granted even to male anatomists; more
grateful to Hiss Agncta Ramsey for beating
all the men of her year in classical attain
ments; most grateful to Hiss Fawcett for
coming out in the mathematical tripos well
in advance of the Senior "Wrangler.
It was in the study of exact science tbat
impudent men said that women were sure to
fail, and to triumph in mathematics over
the whole academic world was indeed sweet,
so sweet, so contenting, so productive of
mental rest, that it would not surprise us if
lemale enercy showed for a year or two
symptoms olfalling off. At least, it will
be felt, women have been first in the men's
special field lor intellectual athletics. Thev
have won the chariot race at Olympia, ancl
must be qualified for the reins.
AVOIDING POISON VINES.
Simple Itolrs Asalnet Two of the Terrors
ef Flowr-CoTins; BInnktnd.
Harper's Young People.
There need be no trouble in identifying
the poison ivy in any of its forms. The
hairy trunk will often serve us, but there
are two other features which are ot much
more value. First let us remeirber tbat its
leaves are always grouped in threes what
ever the outlines of their more or less wavy
margins. In some sections the plant is al
ways called the "three-leaved ivy."
Four things need to be committed to
memory to insure safety against our poison
znmachs: First The thTee-leaved Ivy is dangerous.
Second The fire-leared is harmless.
Third The poison-sumachs nave ithn.f.r.
rles.
Fourth No red-berried sumach Is poison
ous. Both the poison ivy and the poison
sumach, though unlike in appearance of
foliage, have similar white berries growing
in small slender clusters lrom the axils of
the leaves. In all other sumachs the berries
are red and in close bunches at the ends of
tbe branches, and far lrom being dangerous,
yield a iroity-looking acid which is most
agreeable to the taste, and wholesome
withal. With these simple precepts fixed
in the mind, no one need fear the dangers
of the thickets.
A TYPICAL 0TJT1N&.
Fielding Investigates a Sample New
York Summer Excursion.
BAEELY ESCAPES WITH HIS LIFE.
The Merry Dance on the Deck and Athletic
Sports on Shore.
SETTLI5G AN ELECTION CONTEST,
IWKITTIX FOR Till DISTATCH.I
I have been making a study of the sum
mer excursion, which is with us once more,
and which, in common with other season
able complaints, will be Checked only by
the approach of cold weather. The con
clusion at which I have arrived after a per
sonal investigation almost fatally thorough,
and occupying nearly the whole of the
longest day of my life, is that the summer
excursion as a source of joy is less desirable
than malaria, though slightly preferable" to
hydrophobia, which it resembles in many
important particulars, among which may be
mentioned its unrufiled serenity and its
aversion to water as a beverage.
Iaminclined to the belief that the kind
of excursion which I shall describe is con
fined to New York Bay and adjacent waters.
I know that Down East where I was born,
when Deluge Fire Engine No. 2 went across
the bay and contested with No. 3, of Bel
fast, He., in a competition designed to show
the relative capacities of the engines for
water and the companies lor rum-and-mo-lasses,
we used to think that two men dead
and a half dozen in jail was a very fair sort
of an excursion; but, bless you, for real ad-
On With the Dance.
yanced civilation, that is no more to be com
pared to the New York or Jersey City out
ing than the ox teams standing outside our
hall on town meeting day are to the Black;
Horse Cavalry at Albany.
HONOES IT IN SPIEIT.
For the purpose of ray investigation I
bought a ticket which entitled me as a
"gent" to taste the delights of the John B.
Smith Association's tenth grand annual ex
cursion. This pleasure trip was designed
to celebrate the 45th birthday ol the distin
guished patron, Mr. Smith. That eminent
statesman of the Fourth ward accepts these
grand annual compliments gratelully, but
he attends the excursions only in the spirit,
of which he always sends a large quantity
from bis saloon, accompanied by one of his
lieutenants to whom the bar privileges have
been let for the day.
If Mr. Smith had begun the practice of
attending in the body when the ''first grand
annual" occurred, the association would
now be named after somebody else, because
Hr. Smith would be where excursions on tbe
cool and rippling waters are ardently de
sired, but wholly unobtainable. The boys
excuse his absence because "Smith's a good
feller, but he's no use in a fight." The day
set for the excursion dawned red hot, and as
I made my way to the pier I congratulated
myself that I was to sail away from the
heated city. "When I saw the barge upon
which most of the party had already em
barked I was much disappointed.
NOT DtrSIB ANIMALS THIS TIME.
I bad once seen snch a craft upon the
river and had supposed that it was used lor
transferring Western cattle across the Hud
son. My sympathies had been enlisted on
behalf of the poor dumb animals.
The barge bad been empty on that
occasion, but it was now crowded
and the animals were not dumb.
A gang was Hanging over the rail
on the upper deck and loudly disputing
facts From Smith's Lieutenant.
with a similar gang on tbe lower deck. As
the arguments consisted principally of beer
bottles theupper deck seemed likely to win.
Meanwhile a band, concealed as o ne
might suppose for its own protection, was
maltreating a popular tune in a Very satis
factory manner. I had long felt a desire to
see that tune get what it deserved, and the
time had come. Encouraged by this act of
justice, I boarded tbe boat, and made my
way to the upper deck without bloodshed.
There I found most ol the younger "gents"
and the ladies. A space was being cleared
either lor a dance or a ring fight or both.
Bv this time we were under way and
headed for Staten Island, but I had' little
sympathy tor the island. I know the place
and it deserves all it gets. "Varieties of
malaria and mosquitoes which are only a
little too good to live in New Jersey make
their home in Staten Island; the beer is very
bad; and the little malodorous waves that
grease the shore consist principally ot refuse
irom the Standard oil refineries at Constable
Hook.
DANCING ON THE DECK.
I joined the crowd that was watching the
merry dance and shutting oS the air lrom
the dancers. The John B. Smith Associa
tion understands its business in the ball
room, either afloat or ashore, and when its
floor manager .asks a gent to fill a set in a
quadrille, he fills it or bis coffin. I was
fortunate enough to recognize this fact by
intuition so that I did not bandy word's
with Floor Hanager Gilligan ("Stumpy"
Oilligan. middle weight; bested Tommy
the Kid in four rounds, and fought tbe
Doug Island City Terror to a draw in the
sprinz of '87) when he said: "Come, fill in
dere, Slim Jim. Take de lady to yer right.
Hiss Astor. Mr. Bothschild; look slippy
now, for de band's just goin' to take a fall
out of another tune."
I tried to be cheerful and exclaimed:
"On with the dance I" in tout- intended to
express ereat joy, but Gilligan said: "No
back talk, young feller. De cook says he's
short o' cold meat, an' there's no knowin'
who'll fill de vacancy. See?"
THBOUQH THE MAJIY FIGUBES,
Thus encouraged I took my place; Stumpy
called "time" and the band came up smil
ing. I must confess tbat I had little cause
to complain of "Hiss Astor." She went
through the figures correctly, with exactly
as much somnambulistic indifference to her
partner's existence as if she had been
brought up ou Fifth avenue. The spectral
unconcern of the girl who dances with a
fellow when she would prefer somebody else
is one of the things that has driven me to a
more serious life.
I observed, however, that" she was much
interested in the young man with whom she
waltzedalter the quadrille was over. The
young gents of the John B. Smith Associa
tion understand waltzing. They don't
waste any time skipping about, except when
they see a clear space on the floor and take
a slide for it out of the crowd. When they
get the needed room they simply spin round
in it, the yonng man turning backward on
one foot a's a pivot and dragging the heel of
the other foot after him. while the sole of
his shoe stick up nearly straight like a
grave-stone. His chin, meanwhile, reclines
on the young woman's shoulder, but not
hard enough to keep his mouth shut, and
his eyes look up at her bang with an ex
pression suggestive of Kaphael's cherubs.
THE BACKETS DOWN BELOW.
I wandered away from the dancers and
made my way. to the lower deck to learn, if
possible, thearigin of an especially infernal
racket which suddenly arose in that quarter.
There had been many infernal racketson the
lower deck before, but this one, as I have
said, was especially so. It proved to be
nothing more serious than a small fight.
When I got there it was over, but that was
of jio consequence to me, a' several others
were about to begin. I found a young man,
whom I recognized as a reporter named
Adams.eetting points about the fight from a
big-beaded man, who proved 'o be one of
Mr. Smith's Lieutenants. The conversation
showed that the Lieutenant's sympathies
were strongly with the victors in the 'little
unpleasantness, and when he moved away I
asked Adams why he didn't get the other
eide of tbe story from the vanquished.
"dn't," he Baid; "too late; they've all
gone overboard."
We landed at a pier near the little town
of New Cologne, so named as an antidote to
the oil works above mentioned. There we
bad some athletic sports, consisting of
racing, wrestling, fighting and a baseball
match for a keg of beer, which was empty
be "ore the end of the second inning. These
interested some of the younger members of
the party, but the older ones found a much
better game in the village.
MILLIGAN CABBIES THE ELECTION.
There was an election in progress in New
Cologne, and Milligan discovered that one
of the candidates had been a friend of his
at school. I inquired, in some surprise,
what school Hr. Milligan had ever attended,
and the reply was: Beforni school, you
I" but I protest tbat I am not as big a
fool as this man said I was.
At this moment Mr. Milligan appeared on
the scene and said: "Now, boys, are yez
wid me or agin me? My friend Johnson is
20 votes behind. Shall we snow de other
feller under?"
"Will we?" howled the gang, "well,
watch us."
Then Milligan led the way to the polls.
There was naturally some protest on the
Adams Leaves the Boat.
part of the election officers, but in one hour
from that time the man who Hadn't voted at
least twice was no "true son of the old
Four' ward," as Hr. Milligan expressed it.
When the Johnson taction received this
formidable addition to its ranks, the constable-
and other officers of the law quietlv
slipped away tosecure assistance, and at the
end of tbe hour they returned so well rein
forced tbat Hr. Milligan ordered a retreat.
It was a running h'ht from there to the
boat. I am exceptionally good at that kind
of a fight, and I was the first man to cross
the gang-plank.
THEY SAILED AWAY T7NCAPIUBED.
I never fully realized why it was called
that kind of a plank till I saw the others
come aboard. It was considerably past the
T hour lor leaving when tbey arrived, so that
tne main ooay oi tne excursionists was on
board when the Milligan party, pursued by
the constables, arrived. Some of the more
courageous of the latter followed, but the
captain cut bis lines and we sailed away.
The constables left the boat within the first
hundred yards from the shore without hav
ing made any arrests.
Just then T observed Hr. Adams ap
proach Mr. Milligan with his notebook in
nis nana. juuiigan turned on mm in
wrath.
"Yez want to nut dis t'ing in de paper, do
yez?" he yelled; "Yez want to cast ojum on
the John B. Smith Association? I'll kick
de bloomin' "
At this moment Hr. Adams left the boat.
I saw him leave just as I climbed a flag
staff in order to be out ol the way, for I
hate to intrude.
I remained at half-mast, so to speak, dur
ing the rest of the voyage. '
HOWABD FlELDINO.
FBIGHTEHEB BY A WOMAN.
A Bnrslnr, Who Atltrvrard Killed a Mad,
Fled Before n Delicate LnJi.
"I remember a desperate burglar," said a
New York police officer the other d3y, "who
was hanged for killing a man whose house
he had been caught robbing, telling me
that the only time he actually felt scared at
finding himself face to face with one of the
inmates ot the house he was 'cracking' was
when a slight, delicate woman, clad only in
her night dress, came running down the
stairs and, putting her hand on his arm, in
quired in a terrified tone:
" 'What's the matter? Is there a burglar
in the house? Oh, protect tnel'
"In her terror she did not think of him
as the robber, and the evident comfort it
gave her to find some one to 'protect' her
gave him a new sensation altogether.
"He was staggered a moment by the sit
uation, but hearing other inmates moving
upstairs who had evidently been aroused by
her loud exclamations, he quickly said:
'Certainly, ma'am; I'll protect you have
no fear. Just stand here behind the door
while I look in the kitchen, where the noise
seems to come from.'
"'Oh, thank yon, she replied, as he
slipped out into the kitchen, picked up his
shoes and vanished out of the window,
leaving this booty piled upon the floor in a
tablecloth, which he was just tying up
when the woman came upon hiru."
A WOMAN DID IT.
Mia Lydla Booth Had Money Intended for
n Hnspltnl Used to Found Vniaatr College.
Harper's Bazar.
Yassar College owes its existence to a
woman, Hiss Dydia Booth, cousin of the
iounder, Matthew Yassar. Mr. Yassar was
planning a hospital on the plan of Quy's
Hospital, in London, at bis bequest to the
community, when his kinswoman suggested
the founding of a colleee for women, which
should be to them what Yale and Harvard
were to men. Immediately application was
made for a charter, and in 1861 there came
into being Vassar College, which on each
izth ol June celebrates "Founders Day.
SAGES WHO ADTISE.
Sometimes They Are Worth Listening-
to,, bnt More Often ftot.
THE IKEIPEBIEKCED TALK MOST.
Theoretical Nonsense Won't Stand Against
Practical Sense.
A PEW ILLUSTRATIONS OF THE PACT
rWBITTEN TOE THB DIsrATCH.
The best way to cheer and comfort a
troubled child is to bid it "nevermind;" at
least that is the method adopted by all
grown-up English speaking people. I tried
to soothe a small friend of mine in that way
once, and her reply epitomized a large share
of the philosophy of human life: "It's easy
for tbem that's got nothing the matter with
'em to say never mind I"
It is a fact, universally known and very
generally admitted, that the place to have a
boil is on some other person's nose. So long
as you have it there you know exactly how
to treat it, and can study it in a spirit de
void of all narrow prejudice; whereas if
you have it elsewhere on your own nose,
for example you find much difficulty in
maintaining that calm balance of mind
which is so essential to the proper consid
eration of boils, as of other nfllicting ills.
I forget whether it was Charles La nib, or
Douglass Jerrold, or neither of them, who
said that he never read a book before re
viewing it "because it prejudices a man sol"
The People Who Give Advice.
Truly I think all these things must have
been considered by many of the people who
thrust so much advice upon us byword of
mouth and by stroke of pen. A little exam
ination of their teachings brings conviction
that old bachelors ana; spinsters are bent on
telling us just how to manage our children;
women who live in boarding houses give
copious counsel to housekeepers; men who
never earned a dollar or saved a cent be
cause of necessity, tell us how to economize;
people who never go from home tell us how
to travel with the greatest comfort and
profit; persons living on the equatorgive in
structions for finding the Nortb Pole, and
millionaires preach contentment to the very
poor.
Not all of our advice comes from such un
practiced sources; but a vast amount of it
can be explained in no other way, unless we
would be uncharitable to those who bestow
it. Well, why complain? There are cer-
tain
principles wnicn govern every con
ditiou of life, and those principles can be
understood through study. Experience is
not always necessary. A man don't have to
be in a railroad wreck to help other people
out of it. A' rich man may understand the
governing forces of poverty better than a
poor man. A person who never painted a
picture may know more about art than an
other who earns his bread by it. A woman
who never scrnbbed a floor may know ex
actly what is essential to the perfection of
housekeeping. In short, the looker-on sees
more of the game than the players; and in
the philosophical division of labor it is meet
tbat he should give advice, and that the
others should follow it.
Experience of a Home Wife.
Perhaps. But on the other hand practical
conditions are apt to have their way in spite
of theories. The man who never was in the
water cannot be a very reliable instructor in
swimming; and the woman who never saw a'
washboard is not likely to give verv valu
able advice about washing day. In "one of
her rare moments of leisure I surprised a
busy house wife with pencil and paper in
her hands. She had just finished a calcula
tion, and announced the result with a sigh
and a smile.
"I find the day would have to be just 48
hours long," she said. "That would give
me 47 hours and a half for work, and half
an hour for sleep. By not polishing the
bottom of my teakettle I might squeeze in
an hour's sleep. But the day would have
to be 48 hours long any way. And that
with no children to take up my time. Ir I
had children, every day would have to run
over into next week or eise I'd have to
leave some of the things undone.
She pointed to a pile ot periodicals be
side her. "I've been studying a series of
household articles here. They were writ
ten for the benefit of women who have to do
their own work, and the object is to estab
lish such a thorough system that every
minute may be turned to the best
possible account. I suppose you
have read just 'such things. Pretty
nearly everything that's printed has them
in one shape or another. This writer fairly
revels in detail. I think it must be a
man. A woman who knew so much would
know a little more. Anyhow he tells ex
actly what must be" done, "exactly how to do
it, and exactly when, so as to keep the sys
tem straight.
"And under this system the wjman who
does her own work is to spend the latter
part of every day dressed up. She is to
keep up with her church work; leave no so
cial duty unattended to; keep abreast of the
current literature; by no means let go of
her music; keep her accounts to the smallest
decimal point; take up a special subject for
study or reading; entertain now and then;
keep a supply of smiles to give her hus
band the minute he come in; and whatever
else happens, never let her husband see her
in her kitchen dress. Don t it sound de
lightful? Well, all that is part ot the sys
tem. bhe Figured op the Time.
"I feel very wicked because I never really
adopted the system. But at one time or
another I have done most of the things pre
scribed, so 1 know just about how much
time each one requires. I've made a little
list of the various duties, and opposite each
item, I've put the time it would take. Then
I'ye added up and averaged the time; and I
find that each day's work would require at
least 47 V hours. And even then I'm afraid
John would citch me sometimes fn my
kitchen dress, and without a smile. And I
wouldn't be able to entertain as much as I'd
like.
"It's all nonsense! Here and there you
can pick out a valuable hint, but the house
keeper who would try to carry out such a
system would come to grief in short order.
Of course a well woman can keep her house
in good trim and have some eujoyment be
side. Plenty of them do it who never
bothered their head" with any printed
advice. . But there is just so
much strength in a woman's back, and there
are just so many hours in the day; and
every woman has to do the best she can
under those restrictions and let the rest go.
She must judge for herself what she'll let
go whether it shall be kitchen work, so
cial dut , music, reading, dressing up, or
those smiies lor her husbund. I try to keep
the smiles, and as much else as I can."
This was a wise woman; and if the one
who devised the system had made an esti
mate with paper and pencil to begin with,
why, she or he would have been minus
the income from that series of articles.
Advice for the Sleeping Cnr.
My lively and philosophical friend "does
not travel very much; she has not the time,
and passes are dimcuit to oDtaiu. other
wise I would call her attention to a very
captivating article I read some time ago.
This was a letter of advice addressed to all
ladies who are so unhappy ns to spend a
night in a sleeping car. The writer gave
simple and easily comprehended rules by
the lollowing of which all lady travelers
whatsoever may so refresh and beautify
themselves in the morning that there shall
be no taint or stain of journeying upou
them.
All the 'lady has to do is to have her
trunk with her in the section (the uriter
said hand-bag, but the trunk seems more
reasonable), take from it in themornlngher
brushes, combs, towel, bath sponge, fresh
linen and dressing eown. and proceed with
them to the washroom belore anybody else
UjE'ts there. Then she Is to lock tho door andj
follow the rest of the instructions. Among
these, as I recollect, is the direction to
spread upon the floor the towels provided by
the porter. On these the fair traveler is to
stand while she takesa leisurely and copious
sponge bath. Haste is to be avoided, as
that is not restful or refreshing. T,hree
quarters of an hour is the time prescribed
for tbe performance, and at the end ot tbat
time the follower of instructions is war
ranted to come forth as fresh as a daisy and
without a care ou her mind. For that mat
ter she must have been pretty free from eare
all the time, or she would 'have given a
little thought to the other half dozen women
standing outside the door through all those
weary and exasperating 45 minutes, waiting
for a chance to wash their laces and give
their Iiair a hasty brushing before breakfast.
Poverty is Expensive.
Poverty is much moie expensive than
wealth. Tbe rich man has every opportu
nity to economize, and can turn every dol
lar to tbe best advantage at the most advan
tageous moment. The poor man can hardly
economize at all. He can do without and
he does; he can buy low-priced things, and
he bas to if he buys at all; and most people
call this economy, but it is not. It is pri
vation on the one hand and enforced ex
travagance on the other; for in the way of
frequent renewals the low-priced things
eventually cost more than the high-priced.
To a man whom many years of bitter expe
rience had filled nil of this dismal knowl
edge came a well-meaning Iriend who had
wealth and had never known poverty.
"You should buy tbe best of everything
that you do buy," he said. "I always do.
It's the cheapest in the long run."
"The long runl It's all I can do to make
the short run. I know it costs more. Bnt
I have a little money now and a little
money next month. I never have enough
at once to buy expensive things, and we
caq't wait to put the two sums together;
must always have things right away." '
"You could manage it somehow." I al
ways do. Now, in little things, like shoes.
You buy ready made shoes, one pair at a
time. You ought to buy custom shoes. I
always buy two or three pairs at once, and
never wear the same pair two days in suc
cession. That saves them wonderfully.
And I tell vou the best is the cheapest."
"Don't I know that? But it keeps me
busy to buy one pair at a time for each of
the children, and to get my old ones mended
in between whiles, when I've the money to
spare."
"Well, at all events yon make a mistake
in not bnying when you can buy at the
best advantage. That's one thing that
keeps people poor. They wait till winter
to buy winter things, and so on. Buy out
of season, when prices are down!"
"Strawberries," for instance. Look here,
neighbor! You know the whole theory of
being poor, and I know the whole theory of
being rich. Practice is another matter. ,If
you had to practice, being poor awhile you'd
do just as I do the best you could. And if
I was rich well, I'd buy custpm-made
snoesr
.About Ibe Children. '
The strangest thing of all is that there
should be any but healthy and properly
trained children in the world. So much
advice is given and given with snch au
thority concerning them that it seems im
possible tbat any two parents should go
astray, even in the management of their
first baby. As a matter of melancholy fact
it is the first baby, the baby on which the
most advice is expended, concerning which
the most grievous mistakes are made. Its
brothers and sisters come along serenely
enough under the fostering hand of parental
exoerience.
"You spoil your children shamefully!
They just run over you. You are up nights
with them, and do all sorts of things you
ought not. Now, I have never lost an hour's
sleep with my baby, and I never will. If
he takes a notion to cry in the night I'll
just put him in another room and let him
cry it out. And when he gets older I'll
govern him in just the same way."
This was the mother of a 2 months' old
boy. She said it some years ago, and now
she says nothing at all, but tbe neighbors
say a good deal. For a more masterful,
utterly spoiled youngster don't exist in the
entircneighborbood.
Those of us who have personal recollec
tions ot army experiences can recall going
to the mule corral sometimes to see the team
sters catch the fiery and untamed animals.
The catching was a task as difficult as it
was exciting, and the breaking was more
difficult and exciting still. One thing
always to be noticed was tbat the newly re
cruited teamster, the one who had. never
crossed the lence around the corral, .was
always the one who knew most about catch
ing and breaking army mules. He had his
theory, to which all mules would have to
conform when he got at them. But the
teamster who had been in the corral was
much more modest. Ho had learned that
every fresh mule was a fresh problem.
And in that particular army mules are a
good deal like babies. James C. Pubdy.
A TOY FOB THE EMPEE0B.
Tbe BUnlatnre Railroad Which la In Opera
tion In LI IIudb CUang'a City.
About two years ago they presented a
complete miniature railway to the Emperor
through Li Hung Chang, and the line,
which is about three miles long, is laid
down within the imperial city. The young
Emperor is very much interested in its
workings, and spends a great deal of his
time in riding to and fro in the beautifully
appointed little carriages.
He was greatly struck with the toy railway
and its influence upon the recent decree has
been very considerable, Tbe old reaction
ary party among his advisers were adverse
to the miniature line being laid down with
in the precincts of the s tcred city and it
was very near being returned to the donors.
But the Government was .afraid lest it
should give ofiense to the French, who are
greatly feared and respected since they
burned and sank tbe Chinese fleet
At first the high authorities would not
allow any foreigners to have a hand in lay
ing down or working tbe model railway.
The result was when they started the lit
tle engine they could not stop it, and great
consternation was occasioned to the occu
pants in the palace by their inability to con
trol the strange contrivance of the foreigners,
which dashed along the line till it was
pulled up by coming in contact with a
mound of earth.
Since then, honever, a French driver has
been procured, aud the Emperor is a fre
quent traveler upon the cars.
MT7SHB00MS FB0M TUE5IP3.
An Enterprising; Fellow ConnterfelM
the
Delicate EacuIenU
London Telegraph, j
An individual living in the Department
of the Aveyion, struck by tbe high price
at which mushrooms were being sold in his
district, conceived the idea of fabricating
the delicacy out of turnips. He cut the
turnips into rounds, dried them, and alter
giving tbem a dab of the paintbrush, dis
posed oi them to unsuspecting customers as
the genuine article. For some time he drove
a thriving trade, but unluckily for him one
day sold a batch to a gourmet who was not
so easily to be taken in.
Indignant at the trick played on him, the
gourmet brought an action, which has just
resulted in the condemnation of tbe mush
room manufacturer to two months' imprison
ment. Tbe Intc lanc Word.
St. Louis has a new slang word sprung on
the town by a street gamin. The word is
'Tony," and it means a fraud, a fake, or
anything that is not what it pretends to be.
It is supposed to have its origin from the
phonograph, beoausc the phonograph imi
tates. 'Do Waa Jo.
Detroit Free Press."
Bobert Were you in your
office when
the collector called to see yon?
Henry Yes, and he dun me up too.
AUTOGRAPH HTJUTING
flow Officials at Washington and
Their Wives Are Annoyed.
GROVER CLEVELAND IS CAUTIOUS.
Something Ahont the Penmanship
' Few Well-EuoTfa Ladies.
of a
BEN: PERLEI POOEL'S COLLECTION.
(CORRESPONDENCE 0 Tint DISPATCH.!
"Washington, June 28. Washington
is one of the greatest autograph centers of
the United States. Every society lady has
her autograph album, and the pages of Con
gress get an income equal to their salaries
by carrying around autograph books to the
Senators, Representatives and Supreme
Court Judges. The charges of one of them
is $5 lor the Senate, $3 for the Supreme
Court and more than this amount for the
House. The President receives hundreds of
applications for autographs every day and I
saw a great pile of morocco bonnd volumes
lying on his messenger's desk when I went
to the "Wnite House this afternoon. Mrs.
Harrison's autograph is quite as much in
demand as the President's, bnt is not so
easy to get. She writes' a fine, small hand,
slanting hrr strokes in the true Spencerian
manner and running the r's of the Harrison
very much together.
The most of her correspondence is done on
the paper of tbe Executive Mansion and
these two words form the die of silver and
gold at the head of her sheets. Shortly be
fore President Harrison's Inauguration a
letter was written by one of his family, say
ing tbat he would patronize American
paper makers. He does so to a certain ex
tent, but shortly after he got into the White
House an order was given for some royal
Irish linen, which is the most popular paper
with our society ladies. A great part of
Mrs. Harrison's correspondence goes through
the hands of her daughter, Mrs. McKee,
and she Baves the President's wife much
time. Mary Harrison McKee is a beauti
ful writer. She signs herself "Yours most
sincerely" when writing to her most inti
mate friends and always puts tbe Harrison
in her name.
AFBAID OF I"BAJD.
Tbe Cabinet Ministers are almost as much
bothered for autographs as the President,
and it is almost impossible to get the signa
tures of the Cabinet Ministers' wives. The
Cabinet Ministers are in some instances
chary about sending out tbeir signatures
broadcast and none of them like to give
the:r autographs on blank sheets of paper.
President Cleveland would not write his
autograph anywhere except in a book, for
the reason, he said, that something might
be written over his signature by an unscru
pulous,person and used as an indorsement
Still it is not hard to get a signature like
that or Jeremiah Busk, tbe bluff old Secre
tary of Agriculture, who writes a big round
schoolboy hand. You could crowd three of
his wife's signatures into one of his and
Mrs. Busk writes a plain, old-fashioned
screed, with no frills or fnrbelows about it.
Itismuch like herself and looks like the sig
nature of a good motherly lady of the old
school. Mrs. Secretary Windom would
make a good writing teacher. She has an
elegant handwriting and her Iine3 are as
regular as those of a copybook.
It is different with tbe wife of the Secretary
of the Interior. Mrs. Noble seems to have
no rule whatever as to tbe formation ot her
letters, and it would take an expert forger to
counterfeit one of her signatures. She is
very decided in her views, is a woman of
ideas, and you can almost read her charac
ter in her handwriting. She signs herself
Elizabeth H. Noble, uses plain paper and
answers all of her correspondence herself.
A CBtJSTX JUSTICE.
By all odds tbe most aristocratic element
outside of the diplomatic counts of onr
Washington circ'istbat of the Supreme
Conrt. The Justices are sure of $10,000 a
year for life, and they know they are bound
to have enonch to live in style to the end of
their days. In time a certain code of eti
quette has grown up aronndthem, and the
Supreme Court circle is like none other
here. The autographs of tbe old judges are
very easy to get, with one or two excep
tions, for the brainy ones among them are
good natured and are always willing to
oblige tbe autograph hunter.
There is one crusty man among tbem,
however, and that is Justice Gray, of
Massachusetts, who goes out bunting in an
English shooting costume, and has lots of
English fads about him, extending to tbat of
exclusiveness. This exclusiyeness prevents
him from giving out his autographs promis
cuously, and leads himself to act at times in
a most obnoxious way. His wife, however,
is the daughterofthelate Stanley Matthews,
and she probably has more of the democratic
manners of Ohio about her. Mrs. Stanley
Matthews is not at all snobbish, and she is
oneot the popular women of the Supreme
Court circle. She is a good corresDondent,
and she writes on linen paper in a straight
np and down band.
AUTOOBAPH OF TOM COB-WT.
Mrs. Justice Matthews was married twice,
and her first husband was Judge Tbeaker,
who was Commissioner of Patents under
President Lincoln, and was a very distin
guished man at the time of the war. This
writing ot autographs makes me think of a
story be once told me. I met him here at
Washington, and, knowing that he came
irom Ohio, asked him if he was acquainted
with Tom Corwin.
"Yes," he replied, "I knew Tom Corwin
very well, and I have in fact one of his au
tographs in my pocket which cost me $500."
"How is that Jndge?" said I.
"It is just this," said he, and he there
upon polled out his pocketbook and showed
me a note of Corwin's, in which be prom
ised to pH" Judge Theaker 5500 within 30
days. "I gave Mr. Corwin this money."
continued Mr. Theaker. "when I was Com
missioner of Patents. He came into my of
fice and told me that he wanted it. I had
no bank account in the city, and I told him
I had not the money. He replied that if he
could raise it in three days be could save
himself $2,000, and he said he could raise
this if he had my check or $300. I gave
him the check on condition that he would
not present it for two days, and after he left
J borrowed the money aud placed it to my
credit fh tbe bank. It was duly drawn, and
a few days later Corwin went back to Ohio.
This was'in October, 1865. In December he
died, and that was the last I saw of my
money. He was always indorsing tor other
people and kept himself poor by paying
bail debts."
MES. CLEVELAND'S "WAS EXPENSIVE.
Five hnndred dollars is a pretty good
price to pay 'or an autograph, btillainan
offered that much for one of Mrs. Cleve
land's signatures when she was in the White
House, and at an autograph sale in New
York not long ago one o Martha Washing-
I ton's letters sold for $151. A manuserint
of Harriet lieecher btowe s brought $20
and other specimen oi the penmanship of
noted women brought equally high prices.
Queen Victoria is a great autograph
hunter, and she has one of the most remark
able collections ot autographs in existence.
She has autographs of many of the noted
leaders and generals ot the late Civil
War, and Colonel Boteler, who was a mem
ber of the Contederate Congress and who
served here in the Department ot Justice,
added to her collection not long ago by
sending ber a letter written by Stonewall
Jackson to bim while he was a member ot
the Confederate Congress, in which Jackson
said he hoped that Congress would pass a
bill prohibiting the delivery of maijs on
Sunday. .Boteler was on Jackson's staff,
and he says that Jackson would do nothing
on Sunday and would not mail a letter at
such a time that it would have to travel on
Sunday to reach its destination.
CHAKACTEk IK SIGNATDBE3.
LWe have in Washington many society
adies who think they can read character..
through autographs, and they claim that
they can tell as much about a person from,
his handwriting as from his or her photo
graph. This is true to a certain extent. The
positive nature of Senator Cockrell's wifo
may be seen in the bold up and down
strokes with which she pens ber name, and.
by looking at the signature of the wife of
Senator Blair you may see the influence of
tbe Green Mountains of New Hampshire
and of the association with a man who has
made himself famous in educational legisla-
tion.
The noted Southern ladies of Washing
ton society are as a rule good writers. Tho
most of them are finely educated. They
come of good families and are women of
culture. Mrs. Senator Butler writes a
straight np and down hand and is one of
the Congressional ladies who uses her bus
band's initials and puts the term of "Mrs."
before them. This is the same with the
wife of George T. Barnes, of Georgia, Mrs.
Senator Jones, of Arkansas, and Mrs. Pet
tigrew, of South Dakota. Mrs: Silver
Dollar Bland ues ber husband's initials
and so does Mrs. General Lee. The wife of
tbe Senator from Texas acts as ber hus
band's private secretary. She knows quita
as well how to prepare a bill as John H.
Beagan and she can write a business letter
which would read well in a business col
lege. She gets $6 a day for helping her
husband in this way. She signs herself
Mrs. John H. Eeagan Mrs. Carlisle signs
herself with her husband's initials and so
does Sirs. Bepresentative Caruth and Mrs.
Senator Bate.
SIRS. LOGAN'S WORK.
Mrs. General Logan is making lots of
money by her pen. Her paper has reached
a circulation, I am told, of nearly 100,000
copies, and she spends a part of every day
in editorial wortr. She is very particular
as to the paper she uses in her writing, and
is fond of the tinted variety. Her privata
letters have a silver die at the head of the
first sheet, and on the last page you will see
in bold letters the signature "Mary S.
Logan."
Mrs. Sneaker Beed is a cood writer, and
if ber signature is any index, she bas quits
as much character as her husband. She
writes a straight up and down hand, uses
her own initials, and always puts a period
at the end of her signature. Mrs. Senator
Spooner writes a very fair hand. She comes
of a literary family, and has more than or
dinary literary ability. She uses plain pa- '
per, and signs herself "Annie M. Spooner."
One of the wealthiest ladies ol Washing
ton is Mrs. Boswell P. Flower. Her hus
band is worth SlO.dOO.OOO, and Mrs. Elowi
er's check is good for $100,000 any day of
the week. She is very liberal in her char
ities, and a great many checks signed by
her find their way to poor people. She
signs herseli Sarah M. Flower, and she
spends-a good deal on paper. She uses the
best of paper, and her invitations and dinner
cards during a session cost as much as a
clerk's salary.
ben: peblet pooee's collection.
One of the best autograph collections of
Washington was that of BentPerleyPoore's,
which sold for a song after bis death. Ha
bad about 20,000 signatures of prominent
men in this country and Europe, and ha
had the handwriting of the most noted la
dies of the past century. The most inde
fatigable collector among the Senators was
Tabor, of Colorado, who had a book as biz
as a family Bible, and who went around
during the Senate sessions with this big
book in one hand and a blotting pad in tha
other, asking his fellow Senators to sign for
bim. His beautiful wife sat and looked on
from the gallery, and Tabor would point
her out to the Senators as he went around.
Some of the Senators do not like to sign in
these autograph books and some noted la
dies will not give their autographs.
. When Cleveland first came into tha
White House the demand for autographs
was so great tbat it was suggested that
Cleveland let one of the clerks sign his
name for him. He refused to do this and
said: "I am able to use my right hand and
arm and it does not take long to sign my
name. II such a little thing pleases these
people I will do it."
He then had a lot of cards made with the
Executive Mansion printed in one corner
and he signed these and gave tbem to his
Secretary to send away in response to ap
plications by mail.
BEPBOVED BY A CHINAMAN.
Tbe diplomats are often asked for auto
graphs, and one lady not long ago got a
pictnre of one of the members of the Chinese
Legation and the young man put his auto
graph on the back of it, together with a lot of
characters which he called Chinese poetry.
The girl who got the picture went to a
Chinese scholar and got nini to translate
this. The Chinese gentlemen had written
tbe following:
"In the Celestial Empire, where people
called pagans toil, it is not considered
becoming in a young maiden to ask for tha
picture ot a young man, and suh as would
do so would be punished tor immodesty; but
in this laud where civilization is at its
heightyoung ladies permit themselves to do
things which their heathen sisters would
blush even to mention."
Whether the girl kept the picture or not
after this I do not know, but I don't believs
she valued the autograph. Do yon?
Miss Gbundt, Jb.
"Thank joo, no other dressfcir t at mo but
Wolff's
Blacking
If ronand jonrccstomers are dissatlsfledifitals,
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MUST USE
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discoloration, and makes the skin dsUcato
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white lend or arsenic. In three tlTlTlflPtil
pink or flesh, white and brunette.
FOB SATYR BY
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