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THE PITTSBURG DISPATCH, SUNDAY, JUNE 22. 1890.
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ESTABLISHED FEBRUARY 8, 1S0,
To!. 45, N o. 135. -Entered at Pittsburg I'lutofflec
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PITTSBURG. SUNDAY. JUNE 22, 1S90.
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PATCH has been removed lo Corner of
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QUAY'S OPPORTUNITY.
After the most animated contest for a Gov
ernorship nomination that has taken place
in Pennsylvania within thirty years, the
Republican aspirants are now ready for the
descent on Harrisburg. Every one of the
men prominently named will go there con
scious of a probability, or of a possibility,
that circumstances and Senator Quay may
make him the nominee. It is conceded both
by Iriends and opponents of Quay not
merely that in this evenly balanced battle
lis influence can decide the winner, bat,
more than that, whether active or inactive,
the result will be distinctly attributed to
him.
This is quite an opportunity for a political
leader. With a sure winner in at least
three out of the four chief candidates, it
would seem as though the Senator conld
wish nothing better as politics go than the
chauce to name the next Governor of Penn
sylvania. Yet the Democrats and the Sena
tor's opponents within his own party view
the situation up to the present with as brisk
cheeriness and enjoyment as do his friends;
and if the reason is sought it lies in the be
lief that the Senator may think it incumbent
Upon him to take ud not either of the three
generally acceptable candidates, but the
fourth, Delamater, upon whom an intenselv
active opposition has concentrated and whose
election, if it be possibe, can only be brought
about by the hardest work.
It will be at variance with the sagacity of
the experienced politician, if having an op
portunity to adopt a campaign which as
cares victory without effort, he take up
instead one which is menaced with open
dissatisfaction and as to which the best to
be looked for is a greatly reduced majority
if,' indeed, any majority at all. Had Dela
mater carried the State in his canvass,
thV-e might be some basis for taking the
aces, but it is clear that, unaided by
y, he will not win.
It is, however, not merely to help assure
access for bis party that the Senator has a
chance in this situation ol things, but also
to strengthen himself and his followers in the
district where they have so far met the
sturdiest opposition. By siding with
Hastings or Stone, Senator Quay could do
the first, but by accepting Mon tooth as the
solution of the problem he would do both.
Montooth is a candidate who would
make a sure and splendid run;
while Allegheny and the other
'Western counties which support him
could hardly fail to feel kindly to Quay for
the first important recognition this part of
the State has received in State Conventions
for nearly 15 years.
It must be an extraordinary sentiment
"which can induce the Senator to shut his
eyes to this unprejudiced view of the situa
tion. It is not to be wondered, therefore,
that those who give him most credit for
shrewdness are still inclined to think that
not Mr. Delamater's name, but another,
Will float at the top by "Wednesday evening,
with the probability in favor of Montooth or
Hastings. Dark horses are ruled out.
PROFITS FROM GOOD ROADS.
A very important and very instructive
example of work done in the construction
of improved and permanent country high
ways is furnished by a report ot what has
been accomplished in Union county, New
Jersey. The improvements made there are
in the nature of the Telford system. The
work, while expensive, has resulted in the
hardest and smoothest of highways.
The testimony as to the benefits is of the
most convincing character. On every road
where the improvement is finished travel
lias immensely increased, one statement de
claring that it has increased tenfold, while
the unimproved roads have been largely
abandoned. The enhancement of property
along the improved highway is stated jn
Various proportions, ranging from 10 to 60
per cent; and in one case, where an official
estimate for the condemnation of property
was nude, the increase of value due to the
Im provement ot country roads was judicially
found to be 15 per cent, .
In this case it is necessary- to recognize'
that the conditions were those attaching to '
property somewhat suburban in character.
JJut the example is sufficient to illustrate
that in all oases the improvement of com
munication, is sure to bring an increase of
value more than the cost The assessment
of five or ten dollars per foot for paving a
city street, if expended with any judgment,
will always cause more than that improve
ment in the value of the property. So with
regard to farms. While they may find it
difficult to meet the cost of the more expen
sive class of macadamizing, the result when
the work is done will be an enhancement in
value that will more than reDay the cost.
Good roads and good streets, if constructed
with any regard to economy or public needs,
are the best investments that either agricult
ural or municipal communities can make.
SUBWAYS FOR THE STREETS.
A proposition has recently been made in
New York for the establishment of a system
of subways which shall be used in common,
not only by the corporations already having
subterranean lines but, shall give
room for futuie additions. This is a move
ment in the direction of a reform the need
of which Pittsburg has frequently ex
perienced, and the outlines of which have
heretofore been suggested in these columns.
One of the greatest enemies of permanent
and lasting pavements in a city is the
liability of every pavement to be torn up
for the sake of laying underground pipes or
conduits of some sort. A street is provided
with a new and smooth pavement, and the
inhabitants pay their assessments and find
great solace for the cost in the splendid
character of the street. But six months or
a year afterward, the pavement is cut up
for laying gas or water pipes, or for sewer
connections, or for putting down electric
conduits; or for some other purpose
developed by the march of human in
vention. It is gratifying to note that the city
authorities have generally reached the point
of requiring sewers and water pipes to be
laid before the grading and paving is done;
but that rule is not universal, and even if it
were, it does not cover the whole ground.
If one of the numerous underground lines
gets out of repair the street must be torn up
forthwith. The work of getting the over
head electric wires is indemnity postponed,
on account of the expense of conduits, and
the public dislike to having the pavements
torn np. Finally every time that a pavement
is taken up for any of these purposes, the
difficulty of replacing it upon as solid and
even a foundation as the old one, depre
ciates the value of that particular piece of
pavement fifty per cent if not more.
To forbid these underground construc
tions would be to slop human progress, and
so the public endures this constant depre
ciation of its pavements, as if in entire
ignorance that the damage could be pre
vented and even an economy in cost effected
by constructing in the first instance an
underground conduit of sufficient size to
accommodate all present and future under
ground lines. Take any street under which
are laid a sewer, water main, natural and
fuel gas lines and an electric conduit. The
cost of separate excavation, and laying of
each of these lines with the replacing of
the pavements for most of them would
more than pay for the construction of a sub
way which would accommodate them all,
permit any of them to be reached for in
spection and repair, and have room left lor
the lines ot new companies and new inven
tions. When such a subway was built, the
pavement could he constructed with the
intention and assurance of permanence. At
present what object is there to lay solid and
enduring pavements that are liable to be
torn up within the first year after they are
finished?
Such a plan promises not only an im
provement in the permanence of streets and
a relief from the constant tearing np of
pavements, but an actual saving in the
long run on the cost of the underground
lines. Whenfcity government is raised
from its present hap-hazard methods to an
intelligent and scientific system, we may be
sure that snch subways will be among the
many reforms that ensue.
FREE COINAGE BILL BURIED.
The Democratic triumph in the House of
Representatives was short-lived. It died
yesterday, and with it the free coinage bill,
it is fairly safe to 6sy, expired also. Curi
ously enough, as on Thursday and Friday,
Republicans assisted Democrats in rebuking
Speaker Reed, so yesterday Democrats
helped Republicans to refer the Sen
ate silver bill to the place where
Mr. Heed has prepared a decent
grave for it, the Coinage Committee.
An analysis of the vote by which the free
coinage bill was referred shows that ten or
twelve Democratic representatives from the
East voted with the Republican majority,
while the Republican defection included
but seven or eight Western members. It is
clear, therefore, that the radical measure
which the bonanza kings in the Senate
thought fit to foist upon the country stands
so chance of passage in the present House.
In all probability the bill, as the Senate
bnilt it, will not see the light again at all
this session, and any silver bill which the
Coinage Committee reports will be prac
tically the same measure as that first passed
by the House.
We are glad that the opposition to free
coinage is apparently strong enough to com
bat any and all combinations that -may be
formed by the silver men. It may be abso
lutely certain that President Harrison
would veto any free coinage bill presented
to him, but, considering the persuasive
powers of the silver men and other con
tingencies not unconnected with the next
Presidental nomination by the Republican
party, it is reassuring to know that there is
Dot the slightest possibility now of such a
measure as the Senate approved being sent
to the White House for signature.
A SOUTHERN PLAN.
There is nothing small or mean about the
plan, which is printed elsewhere, by which
the white Democrats of Mississippi propose
to settle the negro question in their State for
all time. The plan is to take everything
in Eight, or rather within reach. Cap
tain B. F. Jones, and it is well
to remark that this gentleman
halls from Mississippi, is the author of this
neat and convenient device to prevent the
colored race from holding any State office,
and to endow the whites with the control of
the .Legislature, the United States Senator
ships, and the State Government forever.
His plan is to gerrymander the State at
once so that a clear majority of white Demo
crats shall always be returned to the Legis
lature, and by constitutional amendment
vest the power of electing all the State offi
cers from the Governor down to the lowest
in the hands of the Legislature. This plan
will be presented seriously to the Constitu
tional Convention about to be held, and is
said to meet the views of the Democratic
leaders.
The originator of this modest scheme to
nullify the United States Constitution ad
mits with sincere regret that it is beyond the
power of his party to stop the negroes from
electing Congressmen in the blaok dis-
.tiicU. He -points with 'pride to the fact
that the negro can vote under this arrange-
ment without fear or compulsion and he
might have added, without result. It is to
be hoped that even Mississippi Democrats
will hes itate before they attempt to perpet
uate such a monstrous wrong upon the
negro.
MORE QUESTIONS ON SILVER.
A correspondent who evidently is dissatis
fied with The Dispatch's position on the
silver question, because it does not go to the
length oT free silver coinage propounds the
following queries:
To the .Editor or The Dispatch:
We haTe read your editorial anent silver, and
are not yet enlizhtened. Is not the production
of gold in the United States (reckoning In dol
lars) about one-half that of silver! Under
existing laws isn't gold given an artificial value
out of Its proper proportion above silver? Is
not inn volume of business increasing to such
an extent that the single gold standard will be
insufficient to meet its wants? Has the In
creased volume of currency In the United
States Vent pace with the Increased volume ot
business?
If yon answer no to the last query, which we
believe you must, does not the maintenance of
existing laws, the partial demonetization of
silver, the single gold standard, and a con
tracted currency, taken In connection with the
greatest volume ot business the conntry has
ever experienced) innre only to tba benefit of
money-lenders; and Is there not good ground to
fear that credit expansion rather than In
creased currency may precipitate a financial
crash?
1 As to the relative production of gold
and silver, the statistics of various authori
ties vary slightly, but they practically
agree in making the production of gold
about three-fifths that of silver in the
United States instead of one-half, as stated
by our correspondent. In the whole world
the most authoritative figures place the
present production of gold at about four
firths that of silver. From 1881 to 1883 the
world's produot of gold and silver was
about equal, and before that the production
of gold was greater than that of silver for
many decades,
2 The Dispatch has frequently stated
that a considerable share of the difference
in bullion value between the gold and sil
ver dollars was due to an appreciation in
gold caused by mono-metallic legislation.
3 Whether the volume of bnsiness has
increased more rapidly than the volume of
currency depends on the periods which are
selected for comparison. As compared with
the period before the resumption of specie
payments, the increase in the volnme of
currency caused by the addition of over a
thousand million dollars ot gold and silver
is undoubtedly the greatest. Of late years
the increase in the volume of business is the
greater. That this change is likely to make
the single gold standard insufficient to
meet the wants of bnsiness is only measurably
true. The fact that business of immense
volume can be transacted without the actual
transfer of gold and silver is shown by the
fact that last week the elearing-house ex
changes of the country were by themselves
in excess of the entire stock of gold and
silver. By meant of such exchanges an
immense enhancement of business can be
transacted without involving the actual use
of much more coin or legal tender notes.
But these exchanges must rest on bank
credits, and the narrowing of the reserve or
basis furnished by coins or legal tenders in
proportion to the volume of credits doubtless
has a tendency to stiffen the money markets.
A purely credit expansion which creates
such stringency, if it does not check itself
in time, undoubtedly carries with it the
danger of a panic.
It will thus be seen that each allegation
of fact made by our correspondent has a cer
tain degree of foundation. It is the recogni
tion of these facts which has made The
Dispatch support conservative measures
looking toward an enlarged use of silver,
without reducing our business to the single
silver basis. But such a measure as the
Senate has passed carries a very
different result from the equalization
or gold and silver and their joint use. Un
til values are readjusted to the silver basis,
every owner of silver bullion can get 30 per
cent more than the present value for it by
having it coined into silver dollars, and as
the United States produces a little over two
fifthi of the silver of the world this implies
an immense influxof silver from other conn
tries. When prices are adjusted to th'e
silver basis, gold will advance with every
thing else, and people who make much of
the question of the volume of currency
should reflect on the effect of having over
$700,000,000 of gold demonetized by being
sent to a premium.
Beyond the indefinite possibility of the re
moval of snch a large share of our coin
from use in trade, at a period of general in
nation is the fact that the sudden lowering
of the monetary standard to the level of
silver means the confiscation of a percentage
of the property of the small investors of the
country, the depositors in savings banks
and the holders of railway bonds for the
benefit of the debtors. These considerations
show the danger and wrong of such a meas
ure as the Senate bill beyond question.
PUBLICATION OF CENSUS RETURNS.
A singular illustration of the working of
the Census Bureau's order, that no estimates
or tabulation shall be made by supervisors
of the returns for their districts, is presented
by the fact that the supervisor for St. Louis
has received permission to give out an esti
mate of the population of that city. How
he could make a total without the tabula
tion of the enumerators' returns is a puzzle
which has not yet been solved; but he made
an estimate of 430,000 population, and the
press ot St. Louis is indulging in decided
kicks. It thus appears that the publication
of returns by the census supervisors is not
prohibited by any necessities of tbe work,
but is rather a matter of favor. When the
dispensations of tbe census authorities will
permit the publication of the result for
Pittsburg, and how far the total will fall
short of expectations, is an interesting ques
tion for tbe future to answer.
Absenteeism appears to be the weak
point of the powers which depend on parlia
mentary majorities. The Tory Ministry was
nearly overthrown in Parliament the other day
'bv tbe absence of its supporters; while Speaker
Reed's defeat in tbe House, it is said, would
nave been averted if all the Republicans bad
been on hand.
Misconception is likely to arise from
a Story told by the New York Times to the
effect that when four of the rural editors of
New York wero taking breakfast at Xlbany,
Charles A. Dana, of New York, walked irf and
appropriated certain strawberries which they
had ordered, consuming every berry of them
before their astonished eves. It is not to be
believed that Mr. Dana wonld commit such a
confiscation of the chattels and alimentary sus
tenance of his esteemed cotemporaries unless
they were the outlawed and hated mugwumps;
while all theso editors were of the organio Re
publican stripe. Tbe story Is evidently a para
ble of the way In whicb, when the rural organs
of New York fix up some especially luscious
political fish for their own consumption, the
erratic Sun breaks up their arrangements and
snatches tbe fruits of their plans out ot their
very monthly
Thb fact thai other syndiea.tfls.aro offering,
jbigm prlsw to Louisiana for tbe lottery priv-
uegca uins rue Afuuisiana .uotvery uocs, uugu w
arrest the attention qt tbe Louisiana Legisla
ture. If that State is to be sold out to the skin
gamblers it is a matter ot public interest that
It should get tbe fall price for Itself.
"The increase of the suglr duties of the
McKlnley bill which was made by the Flnanoe
Committee was a blander which the Senate
should correct at once when the bill Comes
regularly before that body," remarks the St.
Louis Qlobe-DemoeraU Bat will the Senate
obey tho directions ot the Republican organs?
That honorable body has lately developed a
remarkable aptitude for taking issue with the
House on exactly the wrong things.
The story that Senator Quay intends to
be the Republican candidate for Governor is
clearly a figment. The Senator is too busy de
nying that his candidacy appears In the person
ot Delamater to permit him to go more directly
before tbe people.
Ix is interesting to obserye that the Ver
mont Republican Convention persistently ad
heres to that popular superstition tbat the
inter-State commerce law has something to do
with the original package decision, and called
upon Congress to modify it- It begins to be
doubtful whether people will ever completely
learn the difference between tbe inter-State
commerce law and tbe inter-State commerce
clause of tbe Constitution,
The cyclone continues its pernicious ac
tivity out West. The destrnctlon of a village
or two is becoming so common that It hardly
causes a sensation until tbe wind storm rav
ages a first-class city.
Air earnest, faithful friend of the people,
a wise counselor In many ways was Eccles
Robinson, whose death yesterday we regret to
record. He did a great deal of good In this
community as an eloquent advocatoot tem
perance, and by his example In a stnrdy, hon
est life. It is a real misfortune tbat a career of
such promise should have been cat short.
The Lake front site for the Chicago Ex
position presents the pleasant prospect that the
World's Fair project will be transformed Into
a great real estate grab.
The report that Secretary Blaine in a
speech before the Senate Appropriation! Com
mittee denounced the McKinley bill as "infa
mous," and asserted that it would wreck tbe
Republican party, is rather too palpable an ef
fect of tbe imagination. Mr. Blaine Is not tbe
kind ot politician wbo lends aid and comfort to
tbe enemy in that style.
The Republican administration is be
ginning to perceive tbat this thing of having
bonanza kings as Senators is snbject to Its de
cided drawbacks.
An exhibition of sheep shearing by
machinery, at Chicago tbe other day resulted
In taking pieces of the hide off the sbeep. as
well as the wool, and tbe invention is conse
quently not considered a success. Skinning
under the pretense of shearing the sheep is not
considered permissible except on the specula
tive exchances.
It is not clear at this writing midnight
which has most delegates elected, Wallace or
Pattison, at the Democratic primaries, but the
reports show that the delegation from this
county will be about equally divided.
Sugar and silver went down together
yesterday. The free coinage bill was put away
safely in the House, and tbe anti-trust bill, as
reported by the conferees, was passed unani
mously by tbe House. In New York, Sugar
Trust certificates fell more than seven points,
and a distressing likelihood remains of a
further decline. The trusts and corporate com
binations'are having a rocky time this summer.
PEOPLE OF PBOmXEXCE.
Mns. P. H. Shkeidan and her children are
at Nonqult.
Tbe Hon. Fremont Cole, ex-Speaker of the
State Assembly, will presently move perma
nently to Seattle, Wash.
Among the summer dwellers at Cape May
are Mrs. Dupont, widow of tho Admiral, and
Mrs. Kearny, widow of the General.
Dr. G. Stoy, of Pittsburg, who is recognized
as one of tbe leading chemists of the western
part of the State, is at the Girard. Philadel
phia Inquirer.
The oldest living preacher In the United
States is tbe Rev. Dr. John Atkinson, who lives
near Benton Harbor, MIcb. He was born in
Flemington. N. J., in 1787, and was licensed to
preach In 1814.
Colonel Thomab C. Jokes, the Democratic
candidate for Governor of Alabama, and Mrs.
Grover Cleveland, of New York, have been
elected honorary members of the Alabama
Press Association.
D. Edoak CnorjSE, a rich bachelor ot Syra
cuse, N. Y Is finishing a stable which is said
to have cost over S700.000. It is palatial In all
respects, even to tbe comparatively small por
tion which the horses will occupy.
Mr. Leslie Stephen is visiting Prof. James
Russell Lowell at Cambridge. "I have come to
America," he said, "to see my friend, Mr.
Lowell, I shall stay about three weeks, and
shall spend my whole time In Cambridge. I do
not intend to travel."
Cardinal Nkwmak Is physically so feeble
that he cannot walk a yard without slow, pain
ful effort and the support of an attendant
Until qnite recently Cardinal Newman rose
early and attended most of the ministrations of
the convent. Bat this is now beyond his
strength.
Pbince Bismarck says of General "Von
Caprlvi: "He has a clear head, a good heart, a
generous nature and great working powers;
altogether a first-class man,'" And then Gen
eral Von Caprlvi says to the world: "Don't
mind what Prince Bismarck says. He Is out
of office now, and his words have no weight."
Mr. Gladstone aud bis son, Herbert, have
arranged to visit Heligoland within a few days
for the purpose of obtaining tbe views of the
inhabitants in regard to tbe transfer of the
Island to Germany, upon which data the ex
Premier will base his speech in tbe Parlia
mentary debate on the Anglo-German debate.
DE DIDN'T AMOUNT TO bHUCKS.
rWBlTTEX FOR TUB DISPATCH. 1
There was Bljah, Ben and Bart,
Who war smart;
Sons of old Abljah Blander
See his house 'way over yander,
Whar yer see that long-necked gander
On the cart?
But Bill the younges' watched the ducks,
Because he didn't amount to shacks,
I tell ye, Bljah, lien and Bart
Did their parti
V'y, ye never see sich bustlers
Never see sleh tarnal hustlers:
TheT wus reg'lar roariu' rustlers
They war smsrtl
But Bill he useter loaf an' stop.
An' loll, an' lallygag and gawp.
Them Fellers, Bljah, Ben Bart,
Maae things start)
Not a chap could beat their showln
Plantln' harvestln' and mowla',
Or at the taterln' or hoeln'
They war smartl
But Bill loafed roun' an' watched the ducks.
Because he didn't amount to shucks.
An' Bill wuzlazy, so they said,
An' hair dead;
Never useter laugh an' boiler,
Never tried to make a dollar,
But he wus a fust-rate scholar
A great head I
He'd take some tarnal books an shirk,
An' let his brothers do the work.
An' they sent Bill to General Court
Cnrns sportl
An' he with them nlr legislators,
ilen, I s'pose uv slm'lar natur's,
Who tbort l.c wuz some pertalcrs.
Held the fort.
His speeches wuz so full er snap
They struck 'em like a thunder clap.
De talked so well an' knew so much,
Books an' sneb,
Thet now he lives away up yander
In the HUte House-quite a gander
, An1 folks call him Governor Blander
It's too much!
The chap who useter watch the ducks
Because be didn't amount to sh ncksl
But what uv Bljah, Ben au' Bart,
Wbo war smart? i.
Never fear thet they'll forsake us
Blge an' Ben are good shoemakers.
Bart ce arives joiisa eater's
Batcher's cart.
".,
; "' An' all three brag about the ducks rC, ,
An' BUI who didn't amount to shucks:
-!WSi?OSS.
THE TOPICAL TALKER.
A Mnrtyr to Strawberries Rnd Duty Most
Men Are" Bcnrrert, Nntnral Has Was Ills
Hobby An Odd Mixture efProfanlty and
Other Things An Old Novel and a New
Plity.
dTTO boxes for a quarter, ma'am," Bald a
A Diamond Market salesman to one of his
fair customers yesterday, as she picked out tho
finest strawberry In sight and puf it behind her
teeth.
"All the same price?" she asked, taking an
other strawberry.
"Yes all that's left."
"Is that so," and the fourth strawberry dis
appeared throngh the lips that framed the
Ivoras.
'.Two boxes lor a quarter, and finer berries
you won't find," repeated the market man
rather. nervously, for he noticed tbe sixth
strawberry passing the way of the others.
"Well, I'll take two boxes," she said, "though
they're not worth it."
I was the next customer, .and I asked the
marketman whether ladles who sampled so ex
tensively and haggled 60 long were profitable.
"Guess we make something off "em," he re
plied, "but that woman's a bummer. She's
eat enough strawberries in this market to-day,
I'll bet a hundred, to supply her whole house
samplin' tbe fruit all arouud. An' she '11 go
home with them two sklmpln boxes and say to
tbe folks at supper, like as not, tbat she don't
care about any berries, only enough to go
around, and sbe's willin' to deny herself. Oh!
I'm onto bor, I am."
T-JABDLTamanas comes In here to have
his hair cut," said a PIttsbure barber yes
terday, "but has scars on his head. Sometimes
the scars are small and not noticeable ordina
rily, but not more than one man in a hundred
has a head entirely free from them. Of course
most men wear their hair long enough at all
times to ke ep tbe small scars from sight, but
in hot weather like this there are some awful
looking heads going about town,"
"I should think a man who has ugly marks
on bis scalp wonld take care not to have his
hair cut too short," I suggested.
"That's where you're mistaken," replied the
barber, "he is generally the roan who wants hig
hair clipped down till his head looks nearly
white and the scars just shine out. The more
scars he has tbe closer he wants the clippers
run. I gave up remonstrating with customers
of this class long ago. They are stubborn men
as a rule."
TPecehtly a Pittsburger, whom we will call
Mr. B , was visiting in New York, and
a gentleman who Is famous for his hospitality,
and with whom Mr. B was well acquainted,
asked him to dinner.
"I want you to come the more particularly,"
said tbe New Yorker, "because some English
people over here on a visit will be there, and
I'm rather afraid things will be a little slow
and heavy, you know, unless I can prevail
upon you and some other good talkers to help
us out."
Mr. B said he wonld gladly eat a good
dinner under bis friend's roof, and if his con
versational powers were werth anything, which
he doubted, tbey were at his friend's dis
posal." "Very kind of you, I'm sure," the friend re
plied, "and you won't mind my suggesting that
you might talk about natural gas and the other
wonderful things about Pittsburg; tbey are
sure to interest tbe Englishmen, and we shall
get along capitally."
So, on the night appointed, Mr, B went to
tbe dinner with a good appetite and a resolve
to exalt Pittsburg's horn in tbe estimation of
Her Majesty's subjects. Tbe dinner was ex
cellent; but tbat was no surprise at tbat table.
Tbe conversation was general and rather
brighter than usual. It did not lag at all. Mr.
B noticed that the awkward pauses in the
flow of talk whicb the host had feared did not
occur. Tbe English guests were by no means
dumb, and everybody appeared to be well sup
plied with live topics. At first Mr. B felt
relieved, or he told himself tbat he felt re
lieved; but, by and by, as the lady on his left
abandoned him for a British vis-a-vis, and the
lady on his right afforded him a more con
tinuous view of her back-hair than be had any
use for, he began to hope that the energies of
some of the talkers wouldilag and allow him
to get In a word edgeways! He bad not been
able to introduce natural gas, nor even to al
lude to Pittsburg so far.
At last a luH came In tbe hubbub of 20 voices
it was nearing the laslf courses of the dinner
when a calm of ten'co mes. Mr. B looked at
his host, and reading, as he thought, encour
agement in bis eye, said to tbe English Baronet
opposite to him: "xou have not seen natural
gas jet, sir, have you ?"
The Englishman did not reply, or if he did
what he said was lost in the roar of laughter
tbat came from all sides of the table. Mr. B -,
astounded and angry, looked at his host ho
was laughing so heartily that he had his hand
kerchief to bis eyes. The room rang with
laughter for several minutes, and toward the
last Mr. B joined in the hilarity.
Everyone laughed wben Mr. B mentioned
natural gas because their host had warned each
individual that Mr. B 's hobby was natural
gas; that he rode it dangerously hard, and that
be was certain to drag It into conversation
somehow.
i
AN inquiry reaches me as to the Identity of
John FIske, an American of sufficient im
portance to form the snbject of one of Edward
Everett Hale's lectures In Boston last winter.
He is probably John FIske, the publicist and
writer on historical subjects. His most note
worthy work is "American Political Ideas,
Viewed from the Standpoint of Universal His
tory." a series of essays in which Mr. Fiske seta
forth In a philosophical manner tbe principles
of our American system of government. It I
am not mistaken, Mr, FIske is a professor in
Columbia College.
LIE was a quaint, queer, profane man. His
qnalntness was his own, bis profanity
savored of the oil regions. He invoked the
Deity every tlmo he spoke.
Coming along the single street of the village
where he lived, I met htm one day and he told
me that be bad opened a general store and
wonld be glad to have my custom. As we
parted ho added: "Mister, by , Vje got the
blank blaukest ham you ever ate I"
More oat of a liking for the man than for his
provision;!, that evening I went op to his store.
"I want some of that ham, you were telling
me about," said L
"Mister, by , we haven't any o' that ham
left, but we've some of the best blank blanked
New Orleans molasses you ever ate,'1 was his
unique reply."
iTS this seat engaged?" said a rather pert
young man to a prettr girl wbo occupied
half of tbe only seat in the car not filled.
"No, sir; bat I am I" she replied sharply, "and
the pert young man, strange to say, preferred
to stand.
""They promise 08 a new play at Harris'
Theater this week; a new Irish romantic
drama by M. Stuart Taylor, entitled "A Sprig
of Green." The play is fonnied on a novel of
John Banlm, the Irish novelist, whose books 60
years ago enjoyed a wonderful popularity. Mr.
Taylor's play is founded on one of the "Tales
of tho O'Hara Family," a series of stories pub
lished about 1825 from Banim's pen. The tale
chosen Is the strongest of them all, entitled
"Crohoore Na Bil Hoge," which being Inter
preted, Is "Urohoore of tbe Bill Hook."
I confess tbat I have not read any of tbe
navels of John or Michael Banirn, but a school,
mate of mine was an enthusiastic admirer ot
John Banim, who, he protested, excelled Sir
Walter Scott in the field of romantic and
pseudo-historical fiction. From what I remem
ber of '"Crohoore of tbe Bill Hook" at second
hand, it was sensational and morbid enough to
fit out a melodrama very completely. Mr. Tay
lor says he has kept close to the novelist's
story, and thinks he has made a powcrtul
drama abounding in wit aud pathos aud
studded with startling climaxes. Tbe Horace
Lewis' Company is fully competent to do the
play justice. Hepburn Johns.
Really Qnite n Nuisance.
From tbe Minneapolis Tribune.
The Chicago papers, sparred by tbe rapid ap
proach of the sunstroke season, are clamoring
for a new morgue. It annoys shoppers In State
street to be obliged to turn out and walk around
a dead person every few steps.
Maneuvering frr Position.
From tbe New Haven Palladium.
Mum's tbe word I Say nothing until Worces
ter makes her census report. We must be the
third largest Cltr.lp New England, if we have
to resort to DemocVatlo' methods in counting
tbe people (
STATE POLITICS.
A cahvass among the Democrats of Will
iamsport show tbat out of a vote ot 720 Patti
son received SS8.
The Hastings''baomers will wear high white
hats at tbe convention. After tbe convention
they are permitted to wear any kind they can
get their hands on.
Congressman Reilly, of tbe Schuylkill
district, regards Wallace's nomination as in
evitable. He says tbe man from Clearfield will
have more than 200 votes on the first ballot.
The conference between Colonel Quay and
tbe Mayor was like the conference between the
countryman and bis wife who would'nt change
their opinions it left things where they were
before.
Republican leaders now in Harrlsburgsay
that among the strong resolutions tbat will be
embraced in the platform to be adopted in the
State convention, will be one indorsing the Mc
Kinley tariff biU.
The Philadelphia Republican newspapers
all favor the nomination of ex-Governor Patti
son by the Democrats. Tbe Philadelphia Re.
publican papers have a habit of knowing just
what tney want, and they are not afraid to ask
for It Washington Post.
THE miners of Jefferson county have held a
convention and nominated a full county ticket.
There are not many miners in Jefferson, and
they hope to see one or tho other of the regu
lar parties indorse their ticker.
Fifteen or 20 Erieltes will accompany the
Delamater party to the Republican State Con
vention at Harrisbnrg next week. They will
go by special train, leaving Erie Monday even
ing. The MeadviUe delegation will include
about 400.
Colonel Ricxetts leaves for Europe in a
few days, and before sailing Intends to Inform
bis friends tbat ho will not, nnder any circum
stances, allow his name to be presented to the
State convention as a candidate for Governor.
He does not want tbe office, even if he could
secure It without a personal effort.
TABHT BILL TALK.
Cleveland Plain Dealer: We have not no
ticed that any Republican organ has denounced
Mr. Blaine as a free trader.
New York Herald: Bpt, great Scott! Wbat
a blow these two gentlemen have delivered at
the McKlnley bill! It almost shivers our tim
bers. Buffalo Express: The decision is unfortu
nate. The longer the enactment of a tariff bill
is deferred tbe mora dubious becomes the pros
pect of a Republican victory next fall.
New York Star: The Senate Finance Com
mittee has made of the McKinley bill "a thing
of shreds and patches" principally shreds.
Henry Clay would blush for such a body.
New York Times: The Senate tariff Dill is
in some respects less obnoxious than tbe origi
nal McKlnley monstrosity, but, on the whole.
It Is a production of the same order and affords
no comfort to consumers,
Chicago Herald: The bill remains a mon
strosity, and in its passage through tbe Senate
and through the Conference Committee which
will determine Its final shape it Is likely to be
made worse rather than better.
New York Tribune: The tariff bill Is enti
tled to tbe votes of those who honestly believe
it a wise and beneficial measure. If any man
so believes and yet threatens to vote against it,
he is guilty of a wrong to bis party and his
country.
Boston Transcript: Mr. Blame has written a
letter wherein bo says he is not opposed to free
sugar, but favors keeping on tbe duty in order
tbat tbe United States may have something
with which to induce South American coun
tries to let in some of our products and manu.
factures free.
THE WEEKS AMUSEMENTS.
A New Irish Play at Harris' Theater En
gene Robinson's Great Combination.
The lovers of Irish drama have a rare treat
In store for them at Harris' Theater this week.
"A 8prlg o Green," by Malcolm Stnart Taylor,
will be presented for the first time on any stage
by Horace Lewis and bis excellent company,
Tbe play is said to be devoid of tbe nsual stock
characters of Irish drama: has no references to
politics or religion, and, while full of pathos
and sentiment, Is still lightened np by rollick
ing comedy and bumor. Incidental to the Kil
kenny Fair scene a number ot rare specialties
will be introdnced, the act ending with a Kil
kenny ruction or rale Irish faction fight, in
which two well-known local boxers will take
Robinson's floatlng7combinatlon of
museum, menagerie and opera house will ar
rive here on Monday and will remain here all
the week. There are many extraordinary at
tractions in Robinson's show, and it oueht to
receive plenty of patronage.
Tbroneh tbe courtesy of Messrs. Harris,
Britten and Dean, Mr. Horace Lewis has ex
tended an invitation to the inmates of 'The
Little 8lsters of the Poor" to attend the per
formance of "A Sprig o' Green" at the matinee
next Wednesday.
CTJBBEHT TIMELY TOPICS.
The sweet girl graduate has had her inning.
Now give her a rest and let the rest of tbe world
have a chance.
And now tbey are importing Ice from Nor
way, a ship load having arrived In New York a'
day or two ago. it Is time to go over the schedule
once more. Millionaire Icemen are not to be
trifled with.
The Washington, D. C, patrol wagons are
to be covered, so that hereafter Congressmen will
not be exposed to the public gaze while being
conveyed to their boarding bouses.
One of the leaders or the Republican party
will contribute to" the July number of the North
American Review an adverse criticism on the
action of speaker Keed In Congress. Tbe article
will no doubt be Interesting, but It would be
doubly so If the writer's name should accom
pany It.
Political meetings In South Carolina are
opened with prayer and closed with riots. By this
means all shades of politicians are encouraged to
attend.
Stanley lauds Salisbury, Salisbury lauds
Stanley, Germany gobbles rich slices of Africa,
and In tbe meantime the natives make It decidedly
Interesting for the Innocent missionaries.
The Southern press is getting around all
right. The Atlanta Journal denominates the
shooting of a negro from ambush assassination.
The payment of taxes, says tho Chicago
Beratd, Is one of the Irrevocable facts of our sub
lunary existence, comparable only with death.
Denver had more millionaires in her city
last week than she will have after the plumbers
leave for their respective homes.
From the length and breadth of the land tbe
cry Is heard tbat tbe censns has been defective be
yond any precedent, and that the' result will be
disappointing. It IS to be hoped that the English
syndicate hasn't been trifling with the enumer
ators. References are sometimes made to tbat
most grave and reverend Senator. Wm. At. Zvarts,
and the reader at once associates with tbe name
some or his elongated specimens of syntactical
construction, for whicb be Is justly noted. One
or these nreathless paragrachs, constituting a
rhetorical clause In his speech on the silver bill, Is
here Inserted, which, as a lung-tester, occupies
high rank: "Now, Mr. President, with unaffected
regret I have to say that I do not reel that I can
contribute much or very great importance or
weight bearing upon what I regard a. the greater,
1 would say the great, question, and that Is of our
action as bearing upon oar relation to the money
of tbe world and the commerce of the world as
distinguishable from the consideration and the ar
guments, the rhetoric and the logic tbat has so
widely and sii wisely attended all the minor con
siderations, as 1 regard It, of the bearing of tbe
measure upon domestic money."
DEATHS OF A DAT.
J. E. K'ngsley,
Philadelphia, June 21. J. E. KIngsley, pro
prietor or the Continental Hotel In this city, and
ofthe Wlssahickon Inn, at Chestnut Hill, died at
the latter place, tbls morning, about 7 o'clock,
from a complication or diseases. Lately Mr.Klngs
ley has been complaining of reeling unwell, and
about a month ago made an extended tour
through the eitern part of tbe country, but re
turned unimproved la health.
Julin D. Wrlsfat.
John D. 'Wright, of SI2J Liberty street, an old
and respected citizen, died yesterday after a long
Illness. Mr. Wright was In his V.th year, and
previous to his death he had been engaged as
foreman in Clark's mill, nets the father or Jo
seph Wright, a roller In the same mill.
Ulnjir Isaac T. Dooshly.
ForatlKtsrsiE, N. Y., Jane :i.-MJor Isaac
T. Doughty, tbe oldest marine officer in the
United States, died ti-day.- (Andrew Jackson ap
pointed him Major of Marines and he served 40
jean.'.
MURRAY'S MUSINGS.
The Servant Girl Problem ns Serlane la
Nevr York as In Pllsbqr Dan Lnmsnt
la Public nnd Private Life Peer Burlier
Campbell's Little Estnlr.
irnOH A STAVr CORRSSrOXDIXT.J
TyniLE tbe colleges of tbe country have just
turned out hundreds of young men of
superfine mental acquirements we see po efforts
for the Improvement of that class of most
serviceable and necessary people tbat comes
under tbe bead of servant girls. It would bo
very gratltying, tq New Yorkers especially, If
we could feel assnred that several hundred
young women had Just been turned out fully
equipped for tbe duties of domestic life. lam
not certain bat they would contribute more
happiness to the world aud render life more
attractive than so many educated young gen
tlemen. Here In New York tho servant girl
problem Is of more importance than all of the
political or economic questions put together.
Beyond a few unimportant alleged cooking
schools no provision has ever been adopted by
tbe modern philanthropist or philosopher look
ing to an Improvement In this respect. It Is to
be doubted whether such efforts would be suc
cessful even If made. And yet It Is a curious
thing tbat a question on which rests tbe happi
ness of the household is almost completely
ignored. A good servant is more rare in New
York to-day than a good accountant, a good
stenographer or a good writer. The more In
tellectual walks of life appear to be annually
more and more crowded.
If I were to mention one thing which prom
ises the greatest happiness to the greatest
number, it would be an intelligent and moder
ately skillful class of servants. Of recent
years women have been thrust forward by cir
cumstances into the ranks of men in all busi
ness relations. There is scarcely an office in
this vast city but where there is employed an
educated and intelligent woman in some
capacity. While this indicates au equality and
the Independence of womanhood it draws away
a corrcsdonding number from the domestio
field and from the taste and capacity for
domestic labor. A prominent gentleman of
means aoing Dustness lor a large corporation
in lower Broadway told me the other day tbat
bis great business did not annoy him or tax bis
patience half so much as bis domestle affairs.
"These latter difficulties." he said, "arise
from tbe fact tbat it is almost impossible to
secure a harmonious organization of servants.
Ot these I employ seven. We have lived In
New York a long time and had achieved tbat
almost, miraculous state of domestic affairs, a
perfect household organization, when the ad
vent of a single addition in the shape of a
maid completely overturned the work of sev
eral years. One by one my people dropped off
before we had fairly become aware of the
cause. They were well paid and bad no com
plaints to make as to their treatment. In this
process of disintegration It came out that tbe
one girl had succeeded In effectually demoral
izing all of tbe rest within three months. Hav.
mg discharged her wo must begin over again.
It Is the most annoylnz trial of domestic life."
Drive People Out of Housekeeping.
'T'hq experience of this gentleman is that ot
a great many who employ less help and
wbo are less prominent In social affairs. Tbe
small housekeeper who must depend upon a
maid of all work, and whose finances are lim
ited is the greatest sufferer. I have tried half
a dozen girls in my abort New York life and yet
am not happy. Some of my experiences would
be amusing if tbey were not so awfully annoy
ing. Many of these girls, who are usually
sought through employment agents, have
scarcely a single qualification necessary to in
sure the happiness of a small household: I
mean the acquirements of plain cooking, wash
ing and ironing and other domestic duties sup
posed to be familiar to every good housewife.
A good many New Yorkers have been in tbe
habit of getting raw girls immediately from
Castle Garden and teaching tbem patiently and
laboriously tbe duties required of them. Very
often, however, tbe result hardly justifies the
trouble, for once taught they become Independ
ent, and will secure other places without warn
ing. There are circumstances where all of tbe
servants of a single household quit work and
leave the household helpless without a day's
notice. Most of these "girls" prefer variety
and are never satisfied to remain In any one
place any considerable length of time, and this
without regard to treatment orpay.
x tninK in mis question aione win oe iouou
tbe most potent reason why even wealthy New
Workers prefer to live In hotels andfasbionable
flats wbere tbey are not annoyed by tbs petty
difficulties arising from the management of
servants. In respect to qualifying herself for
the ordinary duties of a haDDV life a woman
differs very widely from a man. There are more
places open In New York City to-day for decent,
intelllgentand clever women, with good homes,
good pas and a steady job than for any other
class of buman workers. I presume it is the
case to a lesser degree in all large cities.
Here, however, where there is abundance of
wealth, aud where money is no object when
comforts of life are to be secured, it is re
markable. Our whole system of female edu
cation Is antagonistic to the idea of female
labor. It takes from tbe ranks of domestic
life and makes piano pounders, shop girls, type
writers, cashiers and so on out of the best ma
terial, and, in my opinion, without a correspond
ing advantage to humanity. Judging from what
we see every day a liberal education creates in
women an intense dislike to tbe kitchen range
and dishwater. It is human nature, perhaps,
and cannot be helped. It would seem from all
of the importants interests involved that some
combined effort on tbe part of society to
encourage domestic labor and for the devel
opment of a happier domestic life should be
earnestly made.
Moner in Frivnta Life.
T")AW Laxont's career reminds me of a
number of personal acquaintances wbo
came over to New York after the close of the
Cleveland term. Lamout Is President of a
street railway company and an officer in two or
three other big enterprises. In tho same office
with him is W. C. Whitney, late Secretary of
the Navy. In tbe Western National Bank to
day I met Mr. Thomas J. Brennan, who is now
assistant cashier in that financial institution.
The bank was started by Dan Manning. Cleve
land's Secretary of the Treasury, and with him
in the enterprise came Jordan, Cleveland's
Treasurer of the United States and until re
cently President or the Western National.
With Jordan came V. IV Snyder, wbo baa since
been promoted from tbe Western National to
assistant cashier of the First National Bank.
Young Tbomas Brennan will be remembered
by a good many people as a newspaperman at
Washington for several years, both as special
correspondent and connected with tbe Asso
ciated Press; Tom worked tor me as an assist,
ant at tbe beginning of the Garfield tragedy,
and was a very energetic hustler. He became
Manning's private secretary whed the latter
was made Secretary of tbe Treasury, and came
over to New York with him. He was private
secretary for Jordan and afterward correspond
ing clerk of the bank. His elevation to assist
ant cashier will be received by the newspaper
men of Washington aud Cleveland, O., with a
good deal of satisfaction. There are several
lamillar faces behind tbe teller's grating in
this bank, being men wbo were once
connected with the Treasury in Wash
ington. They find In private life a
wider scope lor lbeir peculiar talents and
better pay for their labor. I know a number
of first-class men still in tbe Treasury Depart
ment wbo are worth four or five times what
they receive' from the Government, and could
eet it, too, if they had the nerve to break away
from the governmental groove.
Bnrtley Campbell's Career Reenlled.
poOR Bartley Campbell! How tbe memory of
his genius comes up to us with tbe an
nouncement in the daily papers a few days agol
It is only a six lice notice to tbe effect that
le'.ters of administration are granted to his
wife, Emily, and that bis personal. estate is
valued at $200. An bis kith aud kin are his
widow, and two sons, Robert and John, the
latter 20 and 19 respectively. What a story of
genius there is in this simple announcement!
One of the most brilliant and successful play
writers of hi; time, a splendid fellow per
sonally, who went about tbe world of good
fellows with his heart on his sleeve, so to
speak, beloved by everybody who knew him,
and leaving his Impression upon the dramatic
profession such as no play writer ot his day and
generation. Yet to-day, scarcely three years
since nls melancholy death, be is almost for
gotten In hi, personality. While managers
and actors are struggling with each other in
the reproduction of the emanations of his
brainand theaters season after season are
crowded with loyers of his lurid dramas, p rob
ably but one out of thousands ever give him a
passing tbuught.
To us wbo Knew him well, with all bis virtues
and faults, this little notice strikes a responsive
curd of human sympathy. Campbell in his
brief and erratic career made a fortune in
money. All he leaves of that now is the pitla
Dle sum ot !-U0. In the bey-day of his popular
ity poor Bartley would have scarcely counted
such a sum as anything worth mentioning. In
bis grand scheme of tbe management of a
formidable circuit of theaters, and the man
agement of theatrical companies handling
thousands of dollars a night, tbe insignificant
sum left to his widow aud. family would not
bave been considered pocket money for a week.
Well, It is the way ot the world, especially the
wayof the dramatic profession. Notithitand
lug this, Bartley Campbell's name will be re
membered by bis thousandi of dear fnonds
within tbe Country, ana his plays will be played
throughout the theaters he once managed, and
by tbe actors and actresses he brought out to
public notice; while tbe people that weep In
the audiences wlU go away to tielr respective
bomea yearvafter year thankful that Bartley
CampDell lived. CaABLM T. MUBBAT.
n ew x O&K, J HJJO ..
CDEIOUS CONDENSATIONS,
William Briningham, ofPairton, Cum
berland county. N. X, recently celebrated bis
87tn birthday anniversary by sawing two cords
of wood.
M. Tem Leiw, a Parisian sportsman,
has bet 100,000 Iraucs that be will ride from
Paris to Berlin, abont TOO miles, in ten days.
He started on June 13 from the Odeon Theater.
A vessel sailed Into the port of Odessa
the other day manned by monks. Captain,
mate, second mate, boatswain, cook and sailors
all wore tbe dress of tbe monastery of Mont
Athos. Tbe name of the ship is the "Prophete
Elie. A Macon, Ga., man has a frying-sixe
chjeken with not a feather excepting a few on
his wings. Tbe chicken has been featherless
ever since It was hatched and enjoys perfect
health.
Tbe death plant of Java has flowers
which continually giye off a perfume so power
ful as to overcome. If Inhaled for any Imzth of
time, a full-grown man, and which kills all
form) of insect life that approaches close
enough to come under its influence.
The Spanish Government pays the work
men in the Almaden quicksilver mines, which
yield an enormous revenue, only 20 cents per
day; and. owinc to the deleterious nature of
the work, the strongest men can only labor
two days in tbe week.
The Nipuck tribe of, Indians in Massa
chusetts has become extinct, the last survivor,
an old squaw of 76. having died last week.
Massachusetts always waged tbe most unre
lenting war against tbe Indians of anr colony
or Sute, and drove the hardest bargains with
them.
A ship load of ice arrived in New York
from Norway. It is said to be tbe first consign
ment of Ice received from Norway for some
years. This load was 886 tons. Cip tain Pons
said that ice was exceedingly cheap and plen
tiful in Norway, and was selling in England for
5 a ton.
Fanny Williams, of Columbus, Ind.,
has completed a ten-mile grading contract on
tbe E. & R. road of the Mackey system and
bas shipped three carloads of horses and ma
chinery to Wellington. O., where she has an
other contract of 25 miles of grading on the
Cleveland and Wellington Railroad.
While a little girl named Smith was
pumping water from a well at Sbellsburg, la.,
the platform gave way and sbe fell to tbe bot
tom, a distance of 20 feet. Rev. 31 r. Melsbon
witnessed tbe accident and descended into tbe
well, and succeeded in rescuing the child. Be
yond a few slight bruises she escaped injury.
At Bloomfield, la., on Monday night,
tbe leading lady of an amateur dramatic com
pany fired into acrowd of young men wbo were
peeping Into her dressing room, using a pistol
loaded with soap. One of the men. named
Toole, was wounded, and bad her arrested.
Tbe justice dismissed her, and lectured Toole.
A trap has been invented for gathering
in tbe spirited, reckless moth, and the Inven
tion promises to do away with camphor chests
and all the otber schemes to obliterate the
wool chewer. Tbe trap is on tbe principle of a
fly-trap, lit up by phosphorescence at night and
baited with sweet odors and colored glass, sup
posed to draw the insect.
A fire company at Winsted, Conn., be
ing nnable recently to get any but a small
stream from tbe hose, made an examination
and found about eight Inches of an eel's tail
sticking out 01 tbe nozzle of the hose pipe.
The pipe was unscrewed from the hose, and the
astonished firemen fished a live eel out of tbe
pipe that weighed nearly three pounds.
Black bears are reaping a great harvest
of turtle eggs these nights on the beach oppo
site Melbourne, Fla. One man tells of one old
bear and two cubs tbat bave had a regular
beat for tbe past ten days between his cottage
and the house of refuge, a distance of three or
four miles. Last Sunday night the three de
spoiled 13 nests between midnight and morn
ing. A bear that had been helping himself
for three years to honey from an apiary at
Wewabltcbka, Fix, was killed a night or two
ago. The buzzing of the bees and the sweet,
ness of his repast so occupied bruin's attention
that he did not notice the anuroach of his
slayers nntil too late to escape. He was a cute
beasr, nevertheless, for always on breaking
into tbe apiary be smeared honey over his head
and face to avoid being stung.
A school teacher, near Dawson, Q.,
having instructed a pupil to purchase a gram
mar, the next day received a note, thns worded,
from the child's mother: "1 do not desire for
Xiula- shall ingage in. grammar a 1 prefer her
lngage in yuseful studies and can learn her how
to spoke and wrote properly myself. 1 bava
went through two grammars and can't say as
tbey did me no good. I prefer her lngage In
german and drawing and yokal music on tbe
piano."
A railway postal clerk who runs on the
Union Pacific a day or two since found among
tbe mail passing throngh his bands a mail
carrier's hat. which had been mailed at Butte,
Mont, says tbe Portland Oregonian. Attached
to it was a card on which was written: "Round
tbe world to beat George Francis Train." Tbe
carrier passed It along to San Francisco, ana
says that as the hat will not hare to stop to
eat or make speeches It will probably beat
Train's record.
Clem Smith, a colored fiddler, well
known in Annapolis, was, it is said, apprised of
bis approaching end through a dream, which,
interpreted, meant that he had only one day
longer to lire. On tbe day he died he related
tbe dream to some persons with whom he
worked, wbo noticed bow melancholy he ap
peared and who commented on his gloomy con.
ditlon. Smith had been working at Bay Ridze,
and was taken ill on bis way to Annapolis. H
died shortly after reaching home.
A flock of cranes made a diversion In
Georgia. There were probably more than 100
of the lank fowls in the flock, and quite a num
ber of tbe citizens watched them for nearly an
hour as they soared through tbe air high above
the city. Tbey were as perfectly drilled as
tbe average military company, and there was
not a hitch or bobblein their movements. They
seemed to be governed by the movements of a
leader, and in every wheel or turn there was
not the slightest break.
A boy named Drews performed a
dancerous feat In West Orange,N. J., the other
day. It Is related, The contractor for the drain
tbat bas been laid to carry off the standing
water In lots on the Valley road, wanted to de
termine whether or not tbe drain was free from
obstructions, and offered tbe lad a small sum
to go through It. Tbe pipe Is IS Inches la
diameter. Is eight feet nnder ground and Is
1.200 feet long. Tbe boy accepted the offer and
entered tbe pipe. Half an hour later he
emerged safely from the other end. '
IUNNY MAH'S PANCTES.
iwari'fJKf rote rax dispatch.!
Editor of the Bazoo Do you keep the Bazoo
here?
Newsdealer That's exactly what we do with It,
sit. We can't sell It.
It is" all nonsense to say that the rain fall
alike upon the just and the unjust, as every man
who has observed how the unjust steals the Just's
umbrella can testify.
Irate Youth See here, Duzenberry, did you
tell aparrowgrasi that 1 couldn't be counted on to
pay my debts?
Duzenberry-I did not. On the contrary, I
told him you could be counted on not to.
cossultiuo a iiAwrra,
Cadley I say. Coke, candidly, now, what Is
your opinion of me?
Coke-1 assure you. Cad, It Is not worth buying.
Carlyle Smitli.
Alf AirWOUNCIMEKT.-
I gave myseir away last Tuesday night,
Yet feel no jot nor tittle of chagrin,
Because I gave myseir to that sweet wight!
The belress-and the heiress took me In.
John Kendrick Bangs,
X jnTIOATIHO CIRCUMSTANCE.
judge Were you ever arrested before?
HamJohusIng No, boss, I nebberwns. Ebery
time I bas been errested de policeman grabbed me
by de neck from behind. Attx. . Sieett.
NOT MUCH IMPBOVEMENT TS FIRE-ESCAPES.
They were looking at a slender. ladder-shaped
are escape running np the side ol stall building.
We don't make many Improvements la these
things, " remarked the wicked partner. "About
the only difference between ore-escapes now and
In the olden times Is that now they are Intended
for a fellow to climb down on. while the first Are
escape of which I remember any account was for
a fellow to climb np on." ,
What fire-escape are you referring to?" asked
the deacoo.
Jacob's ladder, " Polk Swaips.
A MOD KEN PItODIOAL.
His wild oats sown, his money spent,
Conn VIvlal ceased to laugh
Back to his father's home he humbly 'went, ;
To eat the fatted ca'.r.
His daddy saw him, as he climbed the bill.
Bat bolted every door.
Tbeaerledi "yea'll get oleelf year All Tj
When-yoa've been cowed some more."
JsrrQH6 Jiarvpt.
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