THE PITTSBURG DISPATCH
p SECOND PART.
PAGES9T0I6. '
COUNTS AND BUNS
Celebrities Among the Diplo
mats at Washington.
BEAUTY FEOM THE OEIENT.
Ko Actlrity in the Market for Titles,
Money and Hearts.
PES PICTURES OP THE ROTABLES
tCOKBESrOXDEKCS OF THE DISPATCH.!
Washington, June 7.
2 Washington no-
Ibility centers in
5?V the diplomatic clr-
(jaljlPN cle. We have
S Jg American princes
KSBif5& y tne hundreds,
- 1? llSO:' butthesimon-pure.
unadulterated bine
blood which flows
only in the veins
of those with titles
be 'ore their names
is almost confined
to the families of the foreign ministers.
Every legation has its Count or Baron and
there are Countesses and Baronesses by the
score. The most mawkish, sentimental
vhippersnapper among the attaches has
enough titles before and after his name to
fill a sheet of note paper, and the toadies of
our society are constantly bending the knee
before nominal greatness.
2Jot a few of the Counts are bonafide and
Borne of the Barons are noble, both in name
end in deed. The Baron de Struve, the
head of the Russian legation, has had a
long diplomatic career, and he comes of a
family which embraced the great astrono
mer who was the first director of the Im
perial Observatory at St. Petersburg. There
was no brighter woman in "Washington
than was Madame de Struve, and General
Grant called her the most accomplished
lady he had ever met. Baron de Struve is
one of the richest of the Washington minis
ters. He gets about 40.000 yearly for en
tertaining and he has a number of rich men
among his attaches.
A EEAL BUSSIA2T DBOSCHKY.
Everyone has heard of Alexander Greger,
who started Washington society to paper
chasing the last administration, and who is
cuch a patron ot outdoor sports, lie has the
finest horses in Washington, and he has a
Russian groom as broad as he is long, who
drives him about in a Russian droschkv.
One of his horses has a pedigree of 120
years, and Mr. Greger is one 01 the best
looking diplomats in the saddle.
The English Minister has a title. Queen
Victoria knighted him in 1874, and he ii a
knight or the Commander o the Bath and
lias also grand cross ol St. Michael and St.
George. Lady Pauncefote is the daughter
of a noted Indian army officer. Her name
was Cubbitt, and she is descended from the
famous Lord Major of that name. She has
had a long experience in Enclish society
and she is well fitted to aid Sir Julian in
getting rid ot the 540,000 which the English
Government allows him for wining and
dining. The British Legation here is per
haps the best house tor entertaining in
asnington. It is an immense red brick
find stone structure and it belongs to John
.&
A Blue-Blooded Russian,
Bull. The English Government gives its
Minister a residence and pays for his furni
ture, and Sir Julian is said to have a for
tune in his own right. His family is a de
lightful one. He has three daughters, one
of whom, Miss Maud Pauncefote, has ap
peared in society this winter.
DEVOTED TO AMERICAS- WAYS.
She is a tall, graceful girl of more than
ordinary attainments and culture. She is
fond of novels, is devoted to horses and
dogs, likes muMC and is apparently as fond
of American things as the other Washing
ton girls are fond ot English fads. She
dresses well, and her mother has some of the
finest diamonds in Washington. Atone of
the receptions here Sir Julian wore about
his neck thered ribbon of the order of the
Bath and his other knightly decorations,
and the attaches and Secretaries of the Le
gation came out with brass buttons on their
dress coats, which, by the way, were adorned
with velvet Sir Juliau's" servants are
dressed in livery and his coachmen and foot
men have bugs on tneir hats.
TheEreuch Minister is a count. His
sauie is Theodore de Koustan. He is a
abort, round, dark-laced man of 40 or 45,
and isa great favorite with the ladies ot
Washington society. He was a diplomat at
Tunis be ore he came here, and he has now
been in Washington for some years. He is
a bachelor, too, and the title-hunters have
been after him, but without avail. He still
ticks to single blessedness, and though he
imiles often he gives his favors indiscrimin
ately. Count Sala, oue ot his secretaries, is
anotherhaudsome member ot the diplomatic
corps. He is married, but the Countess
Bala prefers Paris to Washineton, and in
deed the Count seems to bear his enforced
widowerhnod very welL He is very popu
lar in Washington society and has lots of
friends.
AX ADJIIEAL COUKT.
The girls all admire the new German
Minister, Count Arco Valley. I wish I
could paint him as he looks at a Washing
ton reception. He is over six feet tall,
weighs a tenth of a ton and is a magnificent
picture of physical beauty. His face is as
rosy as the rising sun, and his monocle,
which he screws into bis left eye, is as big
around as a trade dollar. He has a gorgeous
turnout. His footman is more wonderful
than Solomon in his glory, and he had for a
time a man to ooen his carriage door almost
as tall as himself who wore a sword and
military cap. He either does not care
whether he attracts attention or not, or he
delights in being noticed, tor he is always
doing something which creates comment.
Not long ago he walked along Pennsyl
vania avenue with two immense hounds lol
lowing a string which he held in his hand,
endot course everyone looked. The Count
is a bachelor, and ii he wishes a desirable
catch with a lew millions attached he can
get it here. He comes of an old German
family, and he has a royal salary as Minis
ter. His Government owni its legation
building, and a bright American girl could
make, things hum if she would marrv him.
PBOM THE ORIENT.
(Washington has several nobles from Asia.
The dark-laced Turkish Minister, Mavo
reyni, is. a Bey, and that is equal to thetitle
of Sir in England. He is not over 40, talks
fog iisn weu. ana u n polite and accoa-
j
gi
plished gentleman. It is true that he has
in all probability a half dozen wives in Tur
key, but the Sultan does not limit him, and
if there are any American girls who wish to
marry a Turk they can attack Mavoreyni.
All that he will have to do in order to ow
a clear title will be to sav four times to his
Turkish wives: "I divorce you. I divorce
you. I divorce you. I divorce you." This
done he will be a single man once more, and
will be as iree to mate again as any grass
widower in the United States.
The Coreans are nobles, but both men are
married, and very mnch married, toof for
they have anumber of wives and concubines
in their own Hermit Kingdom. They have
each a wife here with them, and the Corean
ladies are among the bright, picturesque
curiosities ot the diplomatic circle. Their
complexions are Jersey cream. Their eyes
are brown, and their lip are as red as cher
ries wnen ripe. They wear a quaint dress
of bright-colored silks, have silk caps on
their heads, and thev have so broken throngh
the customs of tbetr country as to attend
with their lords at the fashionable drawing
rooms and receptions.
EXJOT AMERICAN ritEEDOM.
They have learned to talk a little English
and delight in making calls. They have a
piano and sewing machine at the legation
building and their ironing and washing for
both themselves and tbelr husbands is done
at the laundry. In Cores a woman's chief
wort is ironing her husband's clothes. She
cannot go out except alter dark, and she
lives in the back oi the house. These girls
can sit at the front windows and look out on
the street. They have shown themselves
very adaptable to our civilization and they
will probably be missionaries in the march
ol civilization when they get back nome.
I saw them at the White House reception,
and was introduced to them there by their
husbands. I am delighted with them and
they are mnch prettier in my eyes than the
Our German Count.
small-footed woman who presides over the
Chinese legation. The Chinese Minister
comes of the best blood ot China, but tbero
is no nobility among the Celestials and the
Minister has attained his rank only through
his high standing at the public examina
tions. The Chinese Minister's wife is named
Tsni Kno Tin, and according to the custom
of tne Chinese she does not go out of her
uuuic ouc ass not oeen to a reception this
winter, and if she went she would have to
be supported by two maids, for her feet are
so small that she can hardly stand upon
them.
A NOVEL THEATEB PASTY.
Her only appearance at an v public place
this winter was at the theater where she
came one nightand occupied a box with sev
eral other Chinese ladles. The Corean la
I-- - ... mwc uigub auu
theCorean men sat in the tame box. The
dies had annthcr hnr tha . -.:!.. .
laaies nad tne tront seat and both the
Chinese and the Corean bor blazed with the
bright colors of the tar East. The wife of
the Corean charge d'affaires wore a short
waist of bright blue silk with a wine-colored
silk skirt and the other Corean lady
wore a short waist of lemon-colored silk
with a bine silk skirt. Hermann, the con
juror, was the attraction and the Chinese
Minister's wife evidently thought that the
man had a devil while the Corean girls
laughed. The Chinese Minister did not ap
pear with his wife though it is said he paid
tor the boxes.
The Dean of the Italian Diplomatic Corps
is Baron de Eara, and bis wile is as blue
blooded as her husband. She is a very beau
tiful woman, and she has for the past ten
years been one of the leading figures of
Washington society. She is descended from
a Lombard lamily of eminence in politics
and science, and her father was one of the
most noted physicians ot Italy. He was a
great politician as well, and he was one of
the cbif movers in the revolution which
made Victor. Emanuel King. The Baron
ess de Fava is a very fine musician. She
sings well and when she was a girl thought
somewhat of going on the operatic stage.
Her familv frowned down the idea and she
withheld her talents for private life. She
has a son in Washington who is noted as an
engineer and architect, and is a'profesror of
one of the universities.
A BIT OP BOMANCE.
I heard a curious story the other day
""" "b uwuiiujuuihh, oenor jinrnaga.
Sobillty From the Orient.
which may be true and may not be. He
was Secretary oi Legatiou here years
ago, and was educated at tbe Jesuit College
iu Georgetown. Wmlehewas Secretary of
Legation he fell in love with the young
daughter oi W.W. Corcoran, who died some
years ago leaving about 510,000,000. Mr.
Corcoran was very popular with all tbe
Ministers, but though he entertained tbem
be did not care to have any of them in his
lamily. He learned that Mnruaga had his
eves upon his daughter, and he called upon
the Spanish Minister, accompanied by one
of the United States Senators, and informed
him that he must break ofi" the affair be
tween his Secretary and his daughter. It
seems that an engagement had already been
made.
The Spanish Minister set his foot down
upon it, and the young msn naturally be
came very angry. He challenged Mr. Cor
coran to fight a duel, which Mr. Corcoran
of course did not accept Finding that the
love anair was still going on sometime
aiter this, Mr. Corcoran went to Mr.
Buchanan, who was then Secretary of State
and demanded that he should stop the af
fair by requesting the recall of the young
man to Spain. Buchanan refused to do this
and the young couple continued their billing
aud cooing. When opposition ceased they
found, however, that thev did not care so
much for each other after all, and the en
gagement was broken off. Miss Corcoran
married George Eustis, a member of Con
gress from Louisiana, and the bulk of the
Corcoran estate went to her c ildren.
Scnor Mnruaga married a Bussian lady
who died while he as minister to Mexico,
and the Minister's stepdaughter married
Mr. Yturbe, of one of tbe ancient families
and largest land owners of Mexico.
XS AMEBICAK COUNTESS.
Tho Mexican Minister, Count Matiaajj
Hip
Bomero, has one of the brightest American
women tor his wife. She is the daughter of
an old Virginia lamilvand was a Philadel
phlan when theMinis'ter marriedher. Mme.
Bomero is one of the fine looking women of
Washington and one ot the most accom
plished. She speaks several languages and
she entertains magnificently at the Mexican
Legation, within a stone's throw of the
White House. Her husband is one of the
closest friends of the PresidentotMexico.and
he was his Colonel and Chief of Staff when
he was at the head of the Mexican army
during the French invasion. He is one of
the most efficient diplomats in Washington
as well as one of the most popular. One of
the most remarkable things about him was
his friendship lor Grant, whom he offered
$1,000 at the time of the failure of Grant &
Ward, and to whom he stood ready at any
time to do anything in his power.
There are a number, of bine blooded
diplomats here from South America, and
there were a dozen counts and barons among
the P,an-Auiericans. The most ot them,
however, were poor, and though not a few of
them were evidently ready to marry rich
American girls, the rich American girls did
not seem to be ready to marry them. The
result is that the Congress has come and
gone and we have no engagements to chron
icle. THE MATRIMONIAL MAEKET.
In fact, there are fewer marriages of dip
lomats than you would suppose. The single
men amoug the various legations are not
backward in saying that they would not
object to an American heiress for a wife,
and there was a giddy young secretary here
last year who said that he "was bound to
have an heiress who had all the qualities of
an augel and $5,000,000 to boot. At last ac
counts be has not louod her. The secretarv
of the Brazilian Legation, Mr. Gomez, is the
only diplomat who has contracted an Ameri
can alliance lor many years. He married
an Indianapolis heiress, who had spent the
most of her life abroad, and who spoke
French more easilv thanEnzlish. She had.
however, dark eyes and hair, and her man
ner is so foreign that she is seldom taken
for an American by strangers. At one
time about half the diplomatic- corps had
American wives, but the most of these have
been promoted and have been advanced to
foreign courts.
I see that Prince Iturbide, the grandson
of King Maximilian, of Mexico, was lately
arrested in that country. He has been
spending a good deal of his time here, and
his mother was a Mist Green, of George
town. Iturbide, the Emperor's son went to
Georgetown College after his father was ex-'
ecuted and fell in love with Miss Green and
married her. He was brought' up near
Washington, and Maximilian adopted him.
He is much toadied whenever he is here.
THE MOST NOBLE BLOOD.
The most noble blood in Washington,
however, is that ot the Bonapartes. Colonel
Jerome Bonaparte owns a house here. He
is the great grandson ol Jerome Bonaparte,
the King of Westphalia, and the brother of
Napoleon Bonaparte, who came to this
couutry and fell in love with the beautiful
Betsy Patterson, of Baltimore, and married
her. Betsy Patterson died only a few years
ago, and 'the family is, I understand,
wealthy. Jerome Bonaparte was educated
at West Point, and he left our army about
1856 to enter the Household Guards of
Louis Napoleon. He was a great favorite
of the Empress Eugenie, and he distin
guished himself in the Franco-Prussian
War. He had to flee from France at the
close of that war to save his life, and then
he came back to this conntry.
He married Miss Edgar, a grand-daughter
ot Uamel Webster, and took up his resi
dence in Washington. He has been here
until a year or so ago, and be is, I think,
now traveling in Europe. He must be about
60 years of age, and he looks remarkably
like Napoleon Bonaparte. He is a well
educated man, thongh his education is
altogether military. His younger brother,
Charles, is a lawyer in Baltimore but
Jerome is more of a man. about town than
anything else. He is very quiet in his
tastes, takes long walks and is very fond of
horseback riding. There is nothing ostenta
tious about him, and if the wheels of life
and death and those of the ups and downs
ot French governments should ever elevate
him to the throne he will maintain his part
with credit Miss Grundy, Jb.
THICK OF TEE TAILOR.
Hott He Plenses the Man Who Judge by
the Cost or Ilia Suit Only.
St, Lon Is Globe-Democrat.
Nearly every man judges the quality of
clothing above a certain grade by the
price, and a certain tailor in this town,
knowing this fact, takes advantage' of his
customers in this way. He has wide tables,
in which are drawers containing his samples.
These drawers extend across the tables and
can be pulled ont from either side. When
a customer comes in a line of samples are
taken outand shown him.
He will probably say he wants something
"better," and then the shrewd tailor goes
around to the other side of the table. Bulls
out the same drawer and takes out the same
samples; but this time he adds say 0 per
cent to the price, and the customer, who
judges by price, finds a piece that suits him,
gives his order, and goes his way, little
thinking that he conld have obtained a suit
of the same material at much less cost.
ELEPHANTS HT AMERICA.
Wonderful Remains of Animals
That
Rnnmrd Centuries Ago.
Bt. LoalsFost-Ulspatch.
It seems almost incredible that this busy,
bustling and prosperous country was once a
grazing ground for the elephant.- But there
are indisputable evidences that it abounded
from the equator to the Arctic Ocean either
as the mammoth, mastodon, pygmy ele
phant or dinotherium. Tusks and bones
of mammoths have been plenty in some
of the Middle and Southern States 'or
America. Becent revelations also show
A Tooth Found in Pennsylvania,
that the "Elepbas Americanus" roamed the
hills and valleys ol the Pacific Slope. Be-
-tween Los Angeles and San Diego fragments
of a gigantic skeleton were discovered, there
being plenty to disclose that the animal iu
life must have been one of the largest ever
known. The tusks were at the largest part
as big around as a child's body,and stretched
out in graceiul curves 16 feet in length.
One of tbe teeth weighed five pounds, and
had the parallel dentive ridges peculiar to
the elephant The elephant has eight teeth
at a time, two on each side oi each jaw. 21
growing in the course of a regular life-time.
They come first in the back part of the jaw,
and gradually move to the front as tbey are
cronnd awav. being pushed forward bv the
" i tiT ; v.t.:j
new Usui wuuj wuuttu
PITTSBURG-, SUNDAY, JUNE 8, 1890.
SUNDAY IN LONDON.
Chilly Morning Services in Far
Famed St. Panl's Cathedral.
THE POPULARITY OF BEET HARTE.
Draw-Backs of the Gorgeous Display In the
Queen's Drawing Boom.
OUE MINERAL WATERS AND KEROSENE.
CCOBBXSFOITPEItCZ Or TUB DISPATCH.
LoNTON,May31.
TJNDAYin Lon
don. I have been
good all day to-day
by law and custom,
by act of Parlia
ment and the grace
of the Queen. I
shivered in St.
Paul's Cathedral
in the morning,
and sat with cold
feet in Westmins
ter Abbey in the
afternoon. The
thermometer was down to 40, the stone floors
Were damp, and I believe the poor worship
ers took home more pneumonia than re
ligion. St. Paul's is a 510,000,000 church,
with a great dome, but with little religion.
The shivering worshipers looked poor.
They were literally poor sinners. Next to
me sat a very devout man. He followed the
prayers religiously and cast up his eyes like
St. Jerome. But, alasl it was all business
with him, for alter the Litany he held out
his hand and whispered:
"Pleasegive me a penny. lam starving.'
On one side of the beggar was the great
marble sarcophagus of the Duke of Welling
ton, and on the other the marble effigy ot
Lord Nelson. There is here a magnificent
monument to Cornwallis, who lost a nation,
but no monument to Christ who saved a
Miss Taylor's Toilet.
The above sketch is from a photogranh and
represents about 400 toilets seen at the Queen's
Drawing Room. It is thm described bj Ponce
f.w. -Vi?ntaff. the dressmakers who made it.
Miss Taylor (presented by Dowager Duchess
or Koxburghe). Bodice and train of faille and
veloute stripe, prettllj.trimmed tulle, and
large bouquets of daisies and heath; petticoats
of satin, veiled mile, with clusters of daisies
and heath. Ornaments, pearl necklace; head
dress, plume and veil; bouquet, daisies and
heath. Ostrich feathers In hair."
world. There is a pile of marble for Chinese
Gordon, who died in England, but not a
slab lor the martyred disciples and a Savior
who died for humanity. The services in St
Paul were cold and sensuous. Not a word
in song intonation or sermon could be un
derstood, and the whole servfon .
empty of ideas as a brass band. We might
as well have listened to the Mohammedan
service in Constantinople.
DOESN'T SUIT A METHODIST.
As we passed out a warm-blooded Metho
dist from Kansas came in. Stepping up to
a cossacked attendant he said, while his
eyes glowed with Christian enthusiasm:
"This is Christ's greatest church, isn't
it?"
"No," said the servant, "this is St, Paul's
Cathedral."
When the Methodist minister came out,
he said:
"The isi was right; Christ would be out
of place between Lord ' Cornwallis aud the
Duke of Wellington."
I don't take much stock in Talmagism,
but as I sat in this great tomb, I felt that it
would be a reliel to seethe great live Brook-
lynue jump into tne arena with a section
of the Sea of Galilee in one hand, and the
cedar of Lebanon in the other, and pound a
little warm religion into the frozen Brit
ishers. Bret Harte is now living in a quiet cot
tage in Grove End road, near St John's
Wood. He is getting old and bis hair is
white, but the noVelist still retains all his
old fire. His books sell immensely in En
glandmore than tbqse of any other Ameri
can writer. Mr. Harte's family is not with
him, and the general impression in London
is that he is a widower. Mr. Joseph Hat
ton, a warm friend and neighbor of Mr.
Harte, informs me tbat he is not now in the
Consular service. No American is invited
into the best English society more than Bret
Harte. His American stories warm the
English heart They never tire of the
novelist's story about the first jury trial in
California, and this is the way he told it the
other night:
ONE OP BBET HAEXE'S STOEIES.
"It was over in the Mariposa Gulch in
'50. They had never had a jury trial
there. If a man stole a horse they lynched
him, and that settled it Bnt the people,
many or whom came from Massachusetts,
began to tire of lynch law, and sigh for the
good old jury trial of the East So one day,
when Bill Stevens bad jumped a poor man's
claim, the Massachusetts fellows resolved to
give him a good old-lasnioned jury trial.
They took him into the bacK end of the
board postoffice, selected a jury, and the
trial commenced. Dozens of witnesses were
called, and finally the jury retired to agree
on a verdict When they had about con
cluded tbat Jim was innocent, the boys out
tide came banging at the door.
" 'What do you fellows want?' asked the
foreman through the keyhole.
" 'We waut to know if you h'alnt about
agreed on a verdict If you h'aint, you'll
have to get out We want this room to lay
out the corpse in!' "
We took a private letter from Mr. Blaine
with the idea of.going through the ordeal
of a presentation at tbe Queen's drawing
room, but we found it so troublesome and
expensive that we preferred to use the
J money for opera tickets and carriage rides
W 2sw ll
IW0i mr'i "n l'f i "JsfcRij
WJ (I i r"S u fc JB
rlfflAl cfWSff
Wfws0
lift.
on Botten Bow. On inquiring we found
that every lady presented had to have
A SBESS ESPECIALLY MADE
by certain court dressmakers and the gen
tlemen a court suit. The dress had to be
cut very low in the neck and had a train 12
feet lone. The gentleman's court suit is a
swallow tail, trimmed with gold, a cocked
hat, and knickerbocker trousers with kuee
buckles and silk stockings. The hair of
every lady has tq be surmounted with three
white ostrich features. Alter buying these
clothes at an expensive place, a court
coacher has to be employed to train the de
butante in the art of bowing and carrying a
train.
To back away from the Queen with a four
yard train is no easy matter, and when a
lady steps on her train and sprawls over the
floor like a steamer chair, people want to
laugh, but, being in the presence of the
Queen, they don't. The cost of presentation
in the cheapest possible form is about $400
or 500 lor a lady and $100 for a gentleman.
No words are spoken at the presentation.
It begins and ends with a ceremonious bow,
an artificial, cast-iron smile, and the be3t
Eli Perkins.
bark out that a lady can make with a train
four yards long.
A gentleman to-day told me that he saw
both Seward and Beverdv Johnson in knick
erbockers and tight stockings.
"Eeverdy looked very well," he said,
"but Seward well Seward's calves made
me ashamed of my country."
AMERICA IIAS THE MINEBAI. 'WATERS
I have been comparing American and
European mineral waters. I find Congress
water, or rather the Hathorn spring water
ot Saratoga is precisely the same as the
"Elisabethan Quelle" in Ho'mburg. The
white sulphur water of West Virginia is
identical with the waters of Wiesbaden and
Carlsbad, while the hot sulphur springs
ot Arkansas and Glenwood, Col., cannot be
distinguished from the waters of Aix-les-Bains,
near Geneva. It is not necessary for
any sick Americans to come to Europe for
mineral waters. We have the same waters
at home. The waters ol Leamington, Eng
land, are salt like the sea and a barrel of
Saginaw salt will make a backyard fnll of
them.
If von dive into the Hudson at Sing Sing
on an ebb tide, you'll think you are in a
Leamington bath. There were several
American bank cashiers in Leamington,
who, so far as the water is concerned, might
have gone to Sing Sing just as well.
The English are slow to adopt new ideas.
Strange as it may seem, the people are still
using tallow candles all over the country.
Tbey dida't know what kerosene was in
Warwick and Bakewell. They had never
used it At tbe Warwick Arms Hotel and
Charing Cross Hotel in London, we had to
go to our room with one tallow candle, and
sit with it, too, or pay sixpence for an extra
one.
EXPERIENCE -WJIH JCALM-nr, DIPS.
After writing vby -Our spleodid kerosene
lights in America, this trying to write by
the light of tallow candles is something
dreadful. It is goinfj bick to barbarism.
At Oxford I got fairly exasperated, and
calling the porter, I asked him if he couldn't
go out and buy me a kerosene lamp.
"What be that their?" he asked in
amnsement
"Why, something to burn to give a good
light," I said.
"Lor yeas. I do know whar' to find that
their," and off he started. But what do you
think tbe fool brought me? Why, six tal
low candlesl Light them? Why, of course
I did, and if you'd seen hie trying to write
with eight tallow candles in a row, you
would have taken my table for a Catholic
altar and the writer for a bald-headed
monk.
In London they are just beginning to use
kerosene a little. They call it paraphene,
but it has the same old Oil City smell. One
snuff convinced me that I had struck oil.
The smell was pleasanter to me than tbe
perfume of flowers. The dealer told me be
sold it at 16 and 24 cents per gallon. They
have no splendid lamps to burn it in yet,
but that will come in time. They tell me
the French are burning our kerosene very
generally, and that they have beautitnl
lamps. " Em Peekins.
CURLY IS A FLAGMAIT.
A St. Louis Do Tbnt Warns Tenmiters of
Apprnacblug Trains.
St. Louis Fost-Dlspatcb.
Scarcely anyone who passes the point of
intersection of the Gravois road and tbe St.
Louis and Oak Hill Railway fails to notice
a little dog, acting as flagman at the railway
crossing. This little animal is named
Curly, and is tbe property and assistant of
Flagman Edward Howard. One day as
Howard wa. busy cleaning the lamps a
train dashed into sight around tbe curve.
Several wagons were approaching the cross
ing and would probably have driven on,
meeting with a serions accident had
not the little animal rushed past its
A Canine Flagman,
master and begnn barking furiously, which
bad tbe desired effect of stopping the teams.
An idea then struck the master to train the
dog to hold a flag. She could stand on her
hind feet with perfect ease 'and to hold a red
signal flag in her month wonld be a great
help to him, as the passing trains are
nnmerons. It took but very little time "to
break her in" to hold a little red flag, and
now every time a train whistles she runs to
fetch it, and, standing on her hind legs,
holds it alolt to warn drivers of the danger.
The engineers all know the little dog and
look out for her. In addition to this flat;
work, Curly performs a varletyof tricks and
is a good mimic. Just now sbe is rearing a
lamiiv. nnLvftrvfim... .mh!..tMin i
whistles she gets" her flag and does her duty. I
jf fipL .
II pbc
FLOWING WITH FUN.
Pens of Prominent Paragraphers
Plied for Public Pleasure.
LIVING LINES ON LOVE AND LOSE.
Amusing Anecdotes, Penetrating Philoso
phy, Distracting Dialect
TITILLATING TEIFLE3 PDT IN TTPfl
nrBrrTEN JOB the dispatch. I
Tut Colin blsbs.
Thy Colin sighs and sighs in valnl
Sweet Phjills, doth a strong man's pain
Afflict thee naught whose eyes grow wet
To -ee within a spider's net
Some fly by cruel cunning slalnT
A loyal beart implores thy reign.
If thou wouldst prove its truth, but deign
To gaze within ab. gay coquette
Thy Colln's eyes !
His laden heart muit still complain
Until love mocks thy fine disdain;
For hope attunes bis measure yet
And let that rival not forget
Who boasts tdy favor luckless swain
Thy Colin's size !
Eva Wilder JIcGlabsox.
Polk's Jokes.
MART'S FAITH.
Little Mary (who lives on the thirteenth
floor of the Excelsior flats): "Mamma, is
heaven higher than this?"
"Yes, indeedBMary."
"And when we die, are we going to
heaven?"
"I hope so, darling."
"Mamma, if we are real good maybe we
can get to move down on the second floor
when we die."
SOMEBODY 'WOEE THE BEEECHES.
"I don't see the good," remarked Mr.
Lamson, as he looked up from his piper,
"of all this argyfyin' about whether it's
pronerer to.say 'I wear trousers,' or'I wear
pants.' To mv way o' thinkin' narry one of
them ain't no better nor just plain 'I wear
breeches' "
"Shut up, James Lamsonl What do you
know about wearin' anything?" snapped
Mrs. Lamson.
Whereupon Mr. Lamson withdrewbebind
his paper and buried himself in the obituary
column, until Mrs. Lamson snatched the
sheet away, with the information that she
needed it for putting her hair in "curl
papers." Polk Swaips.
The Girl in the Gninaboronah Hat.
Chanson Militaire.)
Bbe wore a hat with a curving brim
And a gleaming plume of white,
Tnat nodded and laughed o'er tbe dusky rim
Like toam in tbe morning light.
I cave one glance; 'twas enough and more
For my heart went away with that.
My comrades smiled as I watched from the
door
The girl in the gamsborongh hat.
Her locks were as dark as the blackbird's
wing.
Her lasbes a fringe of jet;
Her eyes were the kind tbat the poets Sing;
And a soldier can never forget.
I looked. I sighed. How should I begin
Tbe game I would fain be at?
I knew by her mien no sigh would win
The girl in tbe gainsborough hat.
"Faint heart ne'er won fair lady," and so
One twist of my long mustache.
And boldly I marched to meet the foe,
Where the darts of Cupid flash.
When a summering lover grows dumb, they
say
A kiss is better than chat;
And tbat is the way I won, tbat day.
The girl in the gainsborougb bat.
Samuel mihcttbx Peck.
A Sort of Orlulnnl Paeknse.
Cadley Jove I Bronson is a case,
he?
Highflier Not always. I've seen
Isn't
him
when he was more like a keg.
Cabltle Smith.
The Devil's Place.
They're bavin' protracted meetln's down't the
village all this week.
An all the Meth'dist brethren are called npon
to speak:
An' lots o' bollerin' "glory P an' singin' hymns
is done.
An' old an' young folks both are bavin' a heap
o'fun.
So 1 dropped in last evenin' ter hear the parson
preach
The new one thet Is spreadln' religion fur's
'I'll reach;
An' words o' sense an' wisdom I calkerlate he
give
Thet, ont in practice, couldn't fall ter help us
all ter live.
Fer instance, he was savin' that the Lord He
loved us all.
An' couldn't hear ter see the weakest, poorest
sinner fall;
An' he made bold at last ter say, right iu the
deacon's face,
"Onless tne devil's In your heart, he ain't in
any place."
"Some think," says he, "tbe devU Uves Inter a
pack o' cards.
Or theaters, or ball rooms they claim his best
regards;
But ef he never teched you ontel you cut that
pack.
You needn't fear but In the game you'll keep
the inside track.
"An if ye never cotten ter tbe EvU One ontel
Ye step inside a show room ter see a play done
welt.
He won't come there an' grab ye and make ye
fall from grace
Onless the devil's In your heart he ain't In any
place.
"'Ef you've lived up ter the present time an'
kep' a good, pure heart.
An' never eive blm any show, he can't now git
a start:
Ef in the game o' life right's trumps an' you
have beld the ace.
The devil baln't been in your heart, an' there
fore hain't no place,"
Lots more ho said; but them 'ere words struck
me as 'bout tbe best,
Ef we c'n keep him onto' us, no matter fer the
rest.
Ef we live pure an' sweet an' clean, an' strong
ter rnn our race,
Twill keep tbe devil from our hearts, an' he
won't have no place.
HelehM. fltesiow.
Be Knew.
Mrs. DeSmith "My dear, I have a little
conundrum for you; why does a woman
change her mind oftener than a man?"
Mr. DeSmith (still reading) "Because a
woman's mind needs changing oftener than
a man's." (Silence.)
J. A. Macok.
Pellets From Various Pestles.
It is bad form for a young man to powder
his face, when preparing to call on his
sweetheart. It is equally bad form for him
to powder his face while he is with her.
"Does the weather seem to affect the mar
ket, Mr Trimmer?"
"Yes, indeed. On rainy days umbrellas
go up and cocktails go down."
Profanity is like the tramp's coat a bad
habit, that' Is at its best when it is worn off.
Brooklyn people brag about their great
bridge and say that it bas no equals. The
fact remains that it has two piers.
SHE IS PIETY GENEBAXS HT HEB OWX
BIGHT.
"They say Queen Victoria greatly dis
likes Lord Wolesley?"
"I am not surprised. She is very jealous
of him."
"Jealous?"
'Yes. Wolesley has been called En
gland's only General, and the Queen has an
idea, from the. number of her military titles,
tnat she is no giouca oi an army nerseu."
eta
THE STORY OF THE DOCTOR AND THE DETECTIVE.
WBITTEjr TOE THE dispatch.
-BT-
XB. PHU
Author of "Who ia Guilty?"
bYNOPSIS OF PEEV1003 CHAPTERS.
The narrator of the story Is a physician who bas sought rest at the seashore. Inthehote.
near bis cottage lived Mrs. Amelia Glaye, an eccentric widow, who makes blm her physician
Her charmine daughter. Bertha, had eneaged herself to Cyril Durand. who had squandered
most of bis fortune, and had promised to weil another womin, who cluni closely to him. One
night tbe doctor bears a shriek. He sees a tall figure in overcoat or cloak slinking away, and
discovers tbe body of a voung woman stabbed to tbe heart. Takinc: from tbe body a breastpin
and ring, be runs for help, lteturnine.be finds the body gone, with evidence that It had been
thrown into tbe sea. A piece of shoe was found there. Two servants enter a deserted cabin.
Instantly their torches are dashed to tbe ground, and a tall flgnre vanishes in tbe darkness. In
the cabin a diamond earring Is found. Tbe body bad only plain gold earrings.
CHAPTEK II.
MBS. OIiAYE'S STRANGE COMPOStTItE.
I reached my little cottage without fur
ther incident worthy of being set down. I
had undergone great exertions, and as I
have said, I was very hungry. I am not a
great eater, but I am methodical by instinct,
and was prepared for emergencies like the
present I opened a can of truffled wood
cock, a bottle of Wiesbaden apricots in an
ticipation of a sweet for dessert, and with
the assistance of bread, canned asparagus, a
morsel of pate de fois gras, a bottle of Clos
de Vbugeot and a cigar, I made a simple
but appetizing little luncb, my appetite
somewhat spoiled by my sad experiences of
the evening. I eat leisurely, for I have a
profound respect for my stomach, and,
having eaten, I sat down to write out this
narrative for the amusement and instruc
tion of the beloved reader, should it ever be
read by anyone bnt myself, which I doubt.
I had not written many pages when I was
disturbed by a loud ringing of the bell. I
glanced at my watch with a lrown; it was
11:30, and I was angered that my well
earned solitude should be invaded at this
late hour. I opened the door and a young
lady tripped hastily into tbe room. I im
mediately recognized the charming Miss
lone Grande, the maid, femme de cbambre
and companion of Mrs. Amelia Glaye.
"Pardon me, doctor, for disturbing you,"
said the intruder with a charming little
blush, "but Mrs. Glaye has one of her nerv
ous attacks again and needs your assist
ance." "What has disturbed the good lady this
time, my dear?" I asked, not pleased at
again facing the chilly night air. When
one has eaten, one needs rest that the process
of digestion may continue undisturbed. It
is the neglect of this truth that makes your
SEEKING A CLEW
nation, my dear reader, a nation of dyspep
tics. "Mrs. Glaye has been nervous all even
ing," said the modest little lone, preferring
to study the dimples iu her pretty hands to
the lines in my old face. "She thought she
needed exercise and went out for a walk.
She returned more composed, but when I as
sisted her to pnt on her night attire we dis
covered that she had lost one of her earrings,
a valuable solitaire diamond. She treas
ured it very highly, and the discovery has
made ber wretchedly nervous, at least, that
is the way I account for it."
I never lose my self-control; if I prize
myself for any particular Ulent it is for the
rare gift of preserving my wits, even under
the most astounding circumstances.
"Mrs. Glaye was not wise, to promenade iu
the open air at night, with diamond ear
rings in her ears."
"When she is nervous one never thinks
of such things."
"Did you go with her?" i
"She went out all alone, and it was so
dark when she went out that I am not sur
prised she got entangled iu the blackberry
ousbes, ruining her dress and tearing her
hands learfulh. It is clearer now, but I
had some difficulty in escaping the treacher
ous bushes in coming here."
I was surprised, bnt the simple lone could
not guess my thoughts in the gay smile with
which I sainted her.
"We will visit Mrs. Glaye immediately,
my dear. I am very much interested in her
peculiar symptoms'
Perplexity has a strange effect on me; it
lightens my spiritn.acts as a stimulant on my
nerves. If I may be allowed to say so, I am
the personification of pure reason, and
that which exercises my brain exhilarates
my sentiments. In the open air I gallantly
offered my arm to the timid Miss lone, and
we walked at a brisk pace through the
niirht. A sea mist had spread over land
and water, deepening every moment into a
thick fog and bottling out the sky as well
as the more familiar land marks. It
was impossible to distingnish anything a
few feet distant. The wind had died away,
but the air was cold, damp and uncomfort
able, strongly impregnated with the odor of
seaweed, and distinctly saline to tne taste.
"It is a horrid night," said my companion,
clinging tightly to my arm.
"A matter of feeling, my dear. But still
I would sooner be out of it than in it.
Mrs. Glaye selected a peculiar evening for a
promenade. Did you see her when she re
turned?" "Ko; I was in my room reading. She
summoned me."
"Was she Tery much excited?"
"Sbe was pacing up and down wringing
her hands."
"She needs a husband to take care of
her."
"He whom she would accept is indifferent
to her, and yet she is a sweet, lovable
woman I"
"You mean Cyril Durand?"
"I mean nothing; but it is a pity to see her
suffer."
"She is obstinate to go the road where
suffering is sure to meet her. Cyril Durand
is not worth her trouble. Did she meet
him?" ;
jIIE3 "WOOLF,
"I don't know."
"Has sbe ever met him?"
"She has never told me," was the dry
answer. Not wishing to arouse the sus
picions of my charming companion I spoke
no more, and she did not tempt me to break
my resolution by opening her pretty lips.
On reaching tbe hotel I found my patient
unusually calm; in fact, in all my experi
ences of her I had never seen her so calm.
She was sitting in arm chair reading, and on
my anpearance she glanced up at me in un
mistakable surprise.
"It is a late hoar for a visit, doctor," she
said, in a tranquil voice. "You should have
told him, lone, that I was not prepared for
even his presence."
"My instinct told me that you were ill,
madam, and I hastened to him."
"I never felt bettet in my life, doctor."
I glanced down at ber scratched and still
bleeding hands, and said:
"Surely your hauds, at least, must pain
you."
She laid aside her book, and a frown gath
ered over her face, as she studied the
scratches.
"The next time you indulge in a prome
nade, Mrs. Glaye, you must take a com
panion with you."
"I have not lett my room the entire even
ing, doctor. I should not so far forget my
self as to walk out alone, even if I felt
strong enough to do so."
"Then you did not lose a diamond ear
ring?" "It is a late hour in which to joke," she
said, severely. "I have lost no earrinz,
and I am in excellent health. I thank you
for your anxiety on my account: but just
now I do not need your valuable assist
ance!" I glanced toward the quiet lone and was
amustd by the startled expression in her
face. In her innocence and inexperience
she had but little knowledge of wretched,
lying humanity. She could not know that
within the slender body of Mrs. Glaye there
AT THE TVHABF.
were a heart, will and determination of iron.
I could only bow to the placid woman and
retire. What she hoped to gain by uttering
a demonstrable falsehood I could not guess.
I puzzled over the subject on my way home,
but the journey ended, I was and am still
in doubt.
I shall summon a detective in the morn
ing and make over the responsibility to
him. If he sees his way clearly I shall be
surprised as well as puzzled. As a scientist
I am only warranted in drawing the con
clusion that a murder has been committed.
To this I am willing to swear; fortunately
beyond this I am not required to go. For
my own amusement shall I follow out the
clews? I think I could place my finger on
the guilty party; I think I can detect the
motive for the crime; but I will give no
hint until justice is at fault. I may be
wrong; my knowledge of humanity may be
less complete than I imagine it to be. In
any case I end my narrative here. I may
complete it'at some future time for my im
aginary beloved readers' edification. At
least I have impartially set down all tbe
facts, as they are fresh in my mind. I am
tempted to vindicate my skill- in analytical
reasoning, and to reach the known from the
unknown; but my brains and my fingers are
tired, and X will no longer keep myself from
tbe relresbing sleep I so much need. '
That I may not be accused of guessing the
truth alter the truth is discovered, I will
here imitate the old scientists and set down
my belief in cipher.
Ckrmt flub Agpw yghz o jqxtke lbpr m
yzb.
This for the overthrow of the future
doubter, should any exist; now for the
peaceful sleep, won ot exertion.
CHAPTER IIX.
HAEBATIVE OP DETECTIYE PEMX TOX.
In accordance with orders I went down to
Eglantine Hill early in the day following
the evening on wbioh the mnrder had been
discovered. Had there been telegraphio
communication between this out-of-the-way
little place, and the city a good deal of val
uable time might have been saved. The
dead body had been seen at 8 o'clock the
night before. I reached tbe place about
11:30 next morning. Under the circum
stances the murderer had some 15 hours'
start of me.
I was told that, on boarding the train, a
certain Karl Brandt would give me the in
formation on which to start the case. I dis
covered Earl Brandt to be a man of some SO
years of age; a tall, strong, upright figure on
an intellectual, cleanly-shaven face, much
wrinkled, but with ruddy cheeks, blue eyes
and an attractive smile. On acqualntancel
found him to be a simple, eccentrio fellow,
who wore his heart on his sleeve; garrulous
as all old people are, and fond of showing
his learning and his knowledge of "human
ity," as he called it. He told all he knew
without any "pumping," and was childish
ly eager in offering'hia services to me. I was
amnsed by his pomposity and simplicity;
but won his good will forever by treating
i
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;c