THE PITTSBURG DISPATCH; EREDAY. ' APRIL "18, " 1890.
lite BiMfcg.
ESTABLISHED FEBRUARY 8. 1846.
Vol. 45, IV o. 70. Entered at Pittsburg l'ostoDcc
November 14. I&S7, as second-class matter.
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PITTSBURG. FRIDAY. APR. 18. 1890.
TWELVE PAGES
3-The BUSINESS OFFICE of THE DIS
PATCH has been removed to Corner of
Smithfield and Diamond Sireeis.
A TIMELY CONFERENCE.
The decision of the Library Committee of
Pittsburg Councils yesterday to confer, if
possible, with Mr. Carnegie before proceed
ing further with the consideration of the
library ordinance strikes us as sensible and
proper. Nothing but good can come from
such a conference. Owing to various causes
which need not be discussed now the whole
question bad become tangled. Some mem
bers of Councils, and not a few
outsiders, have shown a disposition
not only to look a gift horse in the mouth,
but to dislocate its jaw. The Library Com
mittee of Councils, however, come to the
rescue with a proposition that nobody can
object to. Mr. Carnegie has a right to most
conrteous treatment. The public to whom
he gave the library appreciate this, and the
committee of Councils voice the popular
feeling. If there is any hitch or misunder
standing to be removed, it will be done
more easily and with infinitely greater
grace with Mr. Carnegie's assistance. The
conference will allow an exposition of all
the facts in the case, and it the Councilmen
and Mr. Carnegie agree, as we believe they
will, the settlement will be final and satis
factory to all.
There is nothing like the suaviler inmodo
in affairs of this sort. There never was oc
casion for anything but constant remem
brance by all parties of the prime import
ance of obtaining the library for Pittsburg.
All other matters are subordinate. The
course of the beneficiaries is clear.
THE PLEASANTRIES OF POLITICS.
The suggestion of Judge Paxson for the
Governorship nomination on the Republi
can side acts as sootbingly as a large pack
ace of oil suddenly let down among tbe
dashing and furious waves. Both the
Quayites and the anti-Quayites speak well
of him, and tbe Judge himself seems not
unwilling. But it is rather early to curry
a dark horse. Even it Delaniater should be
disposed of by withdrawal, Hastings and
Montooth, Osborne and Stone may all well
inquire what have they done that they like
wise should be side-tracked. Anyone of
these last named candidates is admittedly
competent, and, not as yet subjected to
charges. They will fight hard against the
soreness over Delamater operating to their
own exclusion.
Thus it may well ce judged that if the
withdrawal of Mr. Delamater is at all con
templated as an escape from the reproach of
too much management, the mistake of set
ting up a new candidate now, to the exclu
sion of all the old ones, who have made
their canvass among the people, will not
commend itself to the shrewd second
thought of the leaders of tbe party. Thus
it is that the prospects for Judge
Paxson excellent candidate though he
might be will not improve any with time.
The mention of his name is simply a pleas
ing innovation which can do no more than
distract attention at a critical moment.
STATESMEN SNATCHED AWAY.
The funeral of Samuel J. Bandall at
"Washington yesterday was characterized by
the simplicity the dead statesman desired,
and which was thoroughly in keeping with
his lite. But the ceremonies were solemnly
grand, nevertheless. It was well that they
were so. Tbe country can ill afford to lose
public men possessing tbe plain, substantial
virtue of Samuel J. Bandall. Yet the
United States has bad to mourn many faith
ful servants and loyal sons mustered out.
Death has been busy in the present Con
gress. Three of tbe most distinguished
members of the House have joined the great
majority Samuel S. Cox, William D. Kel
ley and Samuel J. Bandall. All three or
these men gave over a quarter of a century
to their country in a legislative capacity.
Mr. Cox first entered Congress in 1857,
serving continuously until his death, with
tbe exception of tbe period between 1865
and 1868, at which time he changed his resi
dence irom Ohio to New York, and from
1885 to 1886 when he served as Minister
' to Turkey. Mr. Kelley entered the
House as one of the representatives from
the city of Philadelphia in 1861, and
there remained until death put an end
to his career during the past winter. Mr.
Bandall was elected from another Philadel
phia district two years later and his career
as a Congressman was ended by death on
Sunday. What an illustrious page this trio
of statesmen occupy in American history!
Patriots all, statesmen worthy to rank with
many of those who served the Republic in
more trying times. "While the House of
Representatives has lost several other mem
bers during the existence of tbe present Con
gress, no three statesmen will be more missed
than Cox, Kelley and Bandall.
A FARMING RIDDLE.
A puzzle in farming affairs is presented
in our Boad Commissioner's article this
morning. He finds that farmers living near
railroads or along the banks of the naviga
ble Monongahela are unable to compete
with Western producers or do more than
eke out a living, whereas in the interior,
and removed from almost all means of
transportation, the farmers are getting
along without much to complain of. Per
haps an answer to what appears to be an
inscrutable riddle may be found if it be
punned with patience.
The testimony of farmers as to the profit
or loss of their labor, however, from time
immemorial has been confusing to the lay
man. It must be remembered that the
farmers in soma places will not rerer their
mislortunes to the bad roads, because their
neglect has made the highways impassable.
SOUTH PENN REVIVED.
The news The Dispatch prints to-day
concerning the resuscitation of the South
Penn Railroad is the best and the most en
couraging that Pittsburg has had in this
connection for a long while. There is a
brighter prospect for a new railroad link
between this city and the Eabtern seaboard
than anyone has ventured of late to look
for among the iuins of the projected South
Penn. That an earnest effort is to be made
to build a new railroad between Philadel
phia and Pittsburg may be taken as a fact.
The circumstances of the fact are rather
nebulous as yet.
A month ago the startling report came
from Fulton county that the South Penn
Railroad, its franchises and other assests
had been sold to George F. Baer, at Sheriff's
sale. This was the first act in the new deal.
Since then a variety of rumors concerning
the plans of Mr. Baer and those supposed
to be behind him have been afloat. They
culminated yesterdav in the well-authenticated
statement which is given in this
issue. The railroad is reorganized under
the title of the South Penn Railway Com
pany; and its capital stock is set at twenty
millions of dollars. The Board of Directors
is significantly representative of powerful
interests. The Beading Railroad is
represented in the President of the
new corporation, Mr. Baer; the
Vanderbilts are supposed with good reason
to have two directors in the board, Messrs.
Bangs and Stetson, the well-known New
York lawyers, with whom Mr.Cleveland is
associated. These appear to be the pre
ponderant powers in the company. The con
nection of the Philadelphia and Beading
Railroad with the project lends substantial
ity to it. In other ways the Beading road
has shown a determination to obtain a
"Western outlet. Extensions of the Beading
system now in course of constrnction will
lend themselves readily to the new enter
prise. It said that a large portion of the
South Penn Bailroad is already in an ad
vanced stage of construction, and appar
ently no serious obstacle exists to the rapid
completion of the entire line as already
surveyed.
The need for the South Penn or some other
competitive railroad crows as Pittsburg
grows. The progress of the revived project
will be watched eagerly and closely by
Pittsburgers. The behavior ol those inter
ested in the garotting of new railroads will
not be overlooked either.
THE IMPENDINO STRIKE.
At this writing it is impossible to tell
whether a strike is to be inaugurated this
morning among the yardmen and other em
ployes of the railroads in this neighborhood.
The hope of everybody is that a strike will
not take place. At the same time it cannot
be overlooked that the refusal of the rail
road companies to treat at all with the
Federated Order of Bailway Employes
threatens to precipitate a conflict. It the
men consider that the recognition of the
Order is more important than the considera
tion of their demands which the railroads
are willing to grant to their employes
separately we presume a strike must come.
If tbe men strike we hope that they will
remember upon what terms they can retain
the good will of the public, without which
they cannot possibly succeed. Bespect for
the law, and abstinence from acts ot violence
are the essentials. So far there has been no
sign of disorderliness and the conferences
between the managing officers and the men
have been characterized by good temper
and good sense on both sides.
COAL MINERS SATISFIED.
"While a shadow is hanging over other in
dustries the result of the conference of coal
miners and operators atColnmbus yesterday
averted a strike among tbe bituminous coal
miners of Pennsylvania and Ohio. The up
shot of the conference was that the miners
accepted a compromise which assures them
an advance of six cents per ton. Although
this is not what the miners asked, it appears
to be a fairly satisfactory concession to the
men. Anyhow, the terrible consequences of
a long strike now need not be expected, and
the general prosperity of the country will
not be held back by the disablement of a
most important industry.
JESSE Hott has retired from tbe man
agement of the Erie Elevator Company, a no
tice to that effect having been posted in the
New York Prodnce Exchange yesterday. Mr.
Hoythas been at tho head of that concern for
years, and his retirement was brought abont
by his recent heavy loss in wheat speculation.
The last whirl in wheat has proven disastrous
to several manipulators of the staple article.
Now that the tariff bill has been reported
to tbe House and referred to tbe Committee of
the Whole, the proceedings of Congress will be
somewhat livelier for the next few weeks.
The proposal of the "Western Seamen's
Friend Society to equip a steamer for evangel
ical work on the Mnnongahela among the coal
miners has rather a startling sound. This
effort to better the condition of tbe miners will
command the sympathy of all, and Tee Dis
patch wishes it success.
The Harrisburg free library is open to
the public The Allegheny library will be
opened to the public when quarrels cease and
books are placed upon the shelves.
By the death of Bev. Alexander Mackay,
the pioneer of Christianity in tne Uganda
country, the African missions received a. sad
blow. It will be remembered that Stanley
ranked the deceased with Livingstone and Mof
fat in the highest rank of Africa's Christian
izers. Reading's Mayor has appointed a col
ored man on the police force, and the Demo
crats are raking him over the coals for his
temerity.
Already the politicians in the late Con
gressman Randall's district are talking about
his successor. There are any number of men
willing to step into his shoes, but the man who
can fill them will be hard to find;
A Russian palace has been destroyed by
fire. The Czar was not there, but he probably
feels that the situation is getting too warm for
comfort
Not content with revolutionizing the
street car systems at borne, Pittsburg capital
bas gone to the rescue of Milwaukee. A mill
ion dollars or thereabout has started from this
city for Wisconsin,
A conference in time may save nine or
more years' delay with regard to Pittsburg's
Library.
One by one the boodle aldermen are re
turning from their enforced sojourn in Canada
to New York City. They will not find it so
easy, however, to get their hoads back into tbe
public trough.
BIr. Theodore W. Kevin's Engagement.
The engagement is announced of Mr. Theo
dore W. Nevin, of this city, to Miss Bessie
Apple, of Lancaster. Air. Nevin is the chief
editorand oneof the proprietors of tho Leader,
and resides at Edgewortb, in the Sewickley
Vallev. Miss Applo is tho daughter of the Rev.
T. G. Apple, President of the Franklin and
Marshall College, at Lancaster, aud rumor is
eloquent as to ber personal charms and accom
plisnments. Since the news of bis engagement
leaked ut a few days ago, Mr. Nevin, who is
very popular, has been ovef whelmed with con
gratulations. The date of tbe wedding is not
fixed.
THE TOPICAL TALKER. -
A Serpentine Deadhead A Syrlnn Mission
nry in tho City Itnllan Tenors and Ger
mnn Sinner Compared The Secret of
Detective Fitzgerald's Lack.
Dram Stoker, a lanky gentleman with rose
ate hair, who was the personal manager and
factotum of Henry Irving, tbe English actor,
dnrmg his first American tour whether he
continued in that place tbe last time Irving
came over, I don't know has written a novel
called "The Snake's Pass." Tho title will recall
to a great many Americans the time they had
with Mr. Bram Stoker getting passes. Bram is
a specialist on passes and tbe tribe who hanker
after them, but it is the first time I ever heard
of a manager giving a snake a pass. Mr.
Stoker had a strong objection to giving anyone
passes. It will be deeply interesting to loam
how the snake "worked" Mr. Irving's fiery
locked guardian for one.
Tltas Barakat is a Syrian who is staying in
Pittsburg just now. He is a missionary
and is raising funds to carry on tho good work
of Christianizing his native land. He has
already lectured a good deal in this country,
and intends starting soon upon a regular lec
turing tonr.
You would not imagine from his complexion
or dress that Mr. Barakat came flora a place
further east than McKoesport. The Syrian
sun and climate does not paint faces very dark.
Mr. Barakat wears American attiro and he
talks fair English. Tbe condition of Syria is
not remarkably cheerful, according to Mr.
Barakat: the deadly blight of Mohammedan
rnle preventing progress in civilization. As to
mission work there he thinks that a good many
of the Christians need conversion as much as
Aiohomedans, and the efforts ot the Protestant
missionaries are mainly directed toward those
Syrians who are already acquainted with the
gospel of Christ
MR Bakakat Impresses one as an intelli
gent, clearheaded man, with sincere de
sires to benefit his benighted brethren. Proba
bly, as he admits, the best thing in fact the
only thing to save it for Syria would be its ab
sorption by some European power.
A New York correspondent writes: "Certain
adherents of the Wagnerian school of
music have made a good deal of fnn of
Tamagno's pennrionsness. They thought it
especially amusing that the Italian tenor
should havo washed his own socks. But did
not one of the German opera divinities do a
similar thing? Does not Lilli Lehman wash
her own stockings? Not only does Frau
Lehman perform this domestic duty, but prac
tices economy in other respects quite as ener
getically as Tamagno did. She was also guilty,
the other night, of marked rudeness to PattI,
in contemptuously leaving the Opera house at
the end of the first act of tbe opera. Tamagno
could hardly have been guilty of such boorish
ness as that. As to tbe matter of washing
stockiDgs, there are a number of singers, both
ItaliaD and German, who would be more desira
ble companions if they were to emulate tbe
example of Signor Tamagno and Frau Leh
man." J-jetecttve FrrzaERALD's nickname of
"Lucky" is burnished anew by his latest
feat, the arrest of bno of tbe men
suspected of participation in the cruel
Tarentum murder. Paddy Fitzgerald would
not have been so lucky as he has
been if he had not also been plucky. When he
was a humble officer in tbe ranks or as Lieu
tenant of Police in the Twelfth ward, his nerve
and grit were the qualities that made him the
terror of evil doers. He caught thieves because
he looked for them and was not afraid to arrest
them single banded. That's the secret of his
luck. Some men are born lucky, they say. it
Is almost as much to the purpose to be born
plucky.
PROMINENT PEOPLE.
EMIN Pasha now speaks 27 different lan
guages and dialects.
Vice President Morton reads more news
papers than any man in Washington.
Ex-Governor Hubbakd. of Texas, ex-Minister
to Japan, wants to go to Congress.
Joseph T. Lawless is the youngest member
of tbe Virginia Senate. Lawless, in spite of his
name. Is a clever lawmaker.
Miss Jean Ingelow receives so many re
quests for ber autograph that she is physically
unable to respond to them all.
Seth Low, President of Colombia College,
eats nothing but oatmeal for breakfast, and al
ways smokes a cigar thereafter.
TnE Emperor of China is making a close
study of railroad constrnction. He is said to
have considerable ability as a scientific investi
gator. Mr. Nathaniel Bowditch, of Boston, and
Miss Choate, daughter of the President of the
Old Colony Bailroad Company, are to be mar
ried in June.
Prince Bismarck has 103 decorations. He
belongs to no English order. His diamond star,
belonging to the Order of St. Andrew, a present
from the father of the ruling Czar of Russia, is
worth $50,000.
The President has received a portrait of Mrs.
Angelica Van Buren, who was mistress of the
White House during the administration of her
father-in-law. President Van Buren, and gave
orders to have it hung In the Green Parlor with
tbe portraits of Mrs. Hayes, Mrs. Tyler and
Mrs. Polk.
General Jubal A. Early, one of tho pet
cavalry leaders of the Confederacy, lives at
Lynchburg. He has a suite of rooms, fitted up
with a fine library, choice oil paintings and
handsome steel engravings, but boards around
at different restaurants, paying for his meals as
he goes, and running up no bills.
A letter trom "Buffalo Bill," dated at
Milan, Italy, says that tbe skies have been
bright for the Wild Westerners since reaching
the land of tbe Cssars. At Milan the show
played to 7,000 in one day something wonder
ful for Italy. Colonel Cody says that he will
soon astonish the Viennese with his racket
After which Berlin will be visited.
TIRED OP PENSIONING KINGLETS.
Tho Question of the Abolition of the Gnelph
Fund Discussed In the Landing.
Berlin, April 17. In the Landtag to-day
Herr Brenel and Dr. Windtnorst raised the
question of the abolition of the Guelph fund
the moneys accruing from the sequestration of
the Kingdom of Hanover hy Prussia, and
which aro claimed by the Duke of Cumber
land. Thev advocated the rescinding of the
act providing for tho sequestration of the
property of the Hanoverian Crown, and con
tended that tbe law conld be revoked without
tbe enactment of a special act for the pnrpose.
HerrFurth. Alinister of tbe Interior, op
posed the proposition. He declared that the
sequestration act could not be annulled with
out the passage of a special act by the Diet
LITTLE BREAD BAKERS.
Tbs Prize Will be Awarded To-Morrow at
tho Grant School.
The pupils of the school kitchen will bold
their closing exercises at the Grant street
schoolhouse to-morrow afternoon.
A spread of the dainties prepared by tbe
youthful cooks will be sampled by tbe guests,
and the best bread maker will, as usual, receive
a prize presented by Air. Chas. Reisfar, the
Secretary or the Central Board.
Sheriff McCandless will make the presenta
tion speech, and Air. Fred Aluller will receive
for tbe fortunate baker. Diplomas will be
granted to 75 pupils.
DEATHS OP A DAY.
Tlenjnmln Frnnklln Sturlernnt.
A telegram from Boston to A. T, Barnes,
announces tho death of "Father" sturte
vant. Benlamln Franklin Sturtevant, a native of
.Maine, was M years of age at the time of his
death, which resulted from a stroke of paralysis
which occurred three weeks ago. lie was the
original inventor and patentee of tbe Sturtevant
"blowers," which have an International reputa
tion; also of the system of heating and ventilating
known as the Blower system, which Is now In
operation at the north wing of the Western peni
tentiary, the Carnegie Library and the Western
University. He leaves a wife and two married
daughters, was an esteemed member of the Bap
tist church and Is an exponent of the success of a
working man starting on a shoemaker's bench
and ending as sole proprietor of the largest works
In that class of business In tbe world. He was
well known In church and charitable circles
through the generosity of his gifts.
Inrmmluke Wllsnn.
HEAVER, Pa., Aurll 17. Marmadnke Wilson,
brother of the late Sain I!. Wilson, Esq., died this
morning, of cardiac asthma, after an Illness ol
six weeks. He was early la lire a member of the
Whig party, but later became a War Democrat
and was prominent In that party, having served a
term as postmaster of this place. He was in his
81st year.
RECEIVED AN 0YATI0N.
Mrs. Jnrley's Waxworks Delight Sewickley
Society An Entertainment Highly Ap
preciated and Well Carried Oat Sir.
Theodore W. Kevin's Engagement An
nounced. "Mrs. Jarley" and her waxworks received
quite an ovation from the Scwickley public
last evening. She held her reception or gave
ber exhibition at cozy little Choral Hall, which
was filled with the wealth and fashion of the
burg. The Osburn Orchestra rendered some
delightful selections while the audience was
being seated by Messrs. C. H. Little,
H. 8. Winters and J. K. Gaston,
who officiated as ushers. The stage
was generously bodecked with placards
testifying to the popularity of the Jarley Wax
Works, which was entirely unnecessary, as the
warm applause that greeted each group was
proof conclusive of the esteem in which they
were held by the Sewickley 400, Mrs. ueorgo
A. Gormley, in an old-fashioned English gowa
of extensive flowered pattern, and a nlack bon
net of immense nrouortiona. with an adroit
dropping of and adding of the letter "h" to
her words, made, an irresistible Airs. Jarley,
and with the assistance of Miss Daisy Miller as
"Little Nell," W. W. Cunningham as "George,"
and Colin F. Reed as "Peter." succeeded lu dis
playing her wonderful collection to great ad
vantage. In group first Mr. M. T. Osburn represented
"Lord Lorel" upon bis milk-white steed, which
was a mechanical hobby-horse, and "Lady
Nancy," wishing him speed, was Mrs. C. Reed.
Miss B. Anderson as "Maid of Athens" re
turned to Mr. Robert Miller the heart which,
as "Lord Byron." he requested of her. Mrs.
R. J. Cunningham as "Queen Elizabeth" hesi
tated very nicely over tho rauddv crossing that
would soil herslippeis until Mr. 'John Tale, Jr..
as "Sir Walter Raleigh." spread out his royal
cloak. Miss Osburn as "Lady Macbeth,"
with a candle, which "Mrs. Jar
ley" said they forgot to light,
examined tbe great red snot on her hand in a
very realistic manner. Miss Graft, as "Queen
Eleanor," insisted upon Aiiss Detweiler, as the
"Fair Rosamond," embracing death with either
a dagger or a bowl of poison. Air. Harry Rich
ardson, as "Confucius," delighted everyone
and manipulated the fan aud parasol quite
artistically. Air. James Gilmcre, as "Richard
the Lion-Hcarted." and Dr. C. White, as "Blon
dell," succeeded In playing tho harp and their
part after the castle, wnich was represented by
a Chinese screen, was placed in position.
"Alothet's Dream," a solo, very sweetly ren
dered by Aiiss AI. Gaston, concluded part first
and received a hearty encore, to which the lady
bowed her thanks.
Mr. R. J. Cunningham opened part second
with a solo, in which bo was accompanied by
Mrs. William Adair on the piano and Mr. Will
iam Adair on the cello, after which appeared
Aiiss Lillie Nevin as "Alotner Goose," and air.
George Whitsell as her son "Jack." Mr. T. H.
Nevin as "Alonzo, the Brave," and MissM.
Love as "Imogene the Fair," and Mr. H, L. H.
Blair as "The Ghost," who succeeded in
frightening tho maiden and some of the youth
ful members of the audience. Miss M. Ander
son as the "Old Woman in the Basket"
swept tho cobwebs from the imagin
ary sky, and Mr. Fred Irwin as "The
Drummer Boy of " Shiloh" created quite
a sensation, and when "Airs. Jarley,"
realizing that he was a favorite, ordered her
assistants to wind him up Again, he refused to
work, much to tbe good lady's astonishment
and disgust of "Peter" and "George." but nu
merous oil cans and working of joints put bim
in good order again. Air. William Kinder, as
"Blue Beard," cruelly mistreated Aiiss Lulu
Blair, his victim. Air. F. Standish, as "Tom,
the Pipei's Son," and Miss M. Porter, as
"Dolly, the Milkmaid," were verv amusing. A
beautifully rendered solo by Airs. Tener con
cluded part second, and a 'cello solo by Mr.
William Adair succeeded it and opened the
last part of the programme.
Airs. H. L. H. Blair as Chicago." held thp.
World's Fair in her arms, while Miss King, as
"New York," inaulged in a case of weep. Miss
AlcCIeery, as a "Prima Donna," Mrs. Barrows,
as a "Maniac,"Mr. R. P. Nevin, as a "Yankee,"
Mr. G. Hays, as "Captain Kidd," and Air. E.
Carpenter, as the "Lone Fisherman," were in
tensely amusing; while Air. John Porter was a
"Ruffian," subdued byasmile from Miss Bessie
Cunningham, and Aiiss Carrie Whiting, as
"Nellie Bly," made a more rapid trip around
the world than the original Nellie did, in spite
of her jerky notions.
"Airs. Jarle)'s Dream" concluded the even
ing's entertainment, which was one of the most
enjoyable given this season In the valley, and
which enriched the coffers of tbe Alethodist
church in no small degree. Tho costumes of
the characters were rich and accurate.
PROSPERITY IN THE S0CIETI,
Eighth Annual meeting of the U. P. Women's
missionary Association.
The eighth annual meeting of the Women's
Missionary Society ot tbe Monongahela Pres
bytery of the United Presbyterian Church was
held yesterday in the Eighth TJ. P. Church.
Airs. AI. Al. Patterson presided. There were
about 200 delegates present Airs. W. J. Reid,
the Treasurer, submitted her report It showed
receipts amounting to $3,020 04 for the last year,
and expenditures to $2,675 55, leaving a balance
of S344 49 in tho treasury. Of the money re
ceived the Industrial Home got $204; the Home
for Boys and Girls about $300; Egyptian School,
SS3: India School, 8126; ministerial relief,
$171 64. The report was approved. Tne report
of the Executive Committee indicated prosper
ity in the society and a constant increase of in
terest from outside sources in the society. The
reports of about 50 auxiliary societies and as
many children's bands were received and read.
They were all of an encouraging nature. Aiiss
Laura AlcCurdy, Presbyterial Manager of the
Orphans' Home, reported that there were 53
children in charge now, and that five more are
expected before Sunday, Three boys and three
girls" aro out on trial. The report of Airs.
Price, for the Memorial Hospital, showed that
thero were four patients under treatment
Both reports were approved.
luubuuiiuHieHuuiiuuuuAiiuiiauiauu lit. re
port, and tbe election for officers resulted:
President Airs. J. S. Sands; Vice Presidents,
Airs. J. AI. Ross. Airs. A. R. Elliott and Airs. Al.
J. Doutbett; Recording Secretary. Aiiss E. D.
Beacon; Corresponding Secretary. Aiiss Alaggie
J. Alitchell; Treasurer. Airs. W. J. Reid; Alan
ager. Miss Laura AlcCurdy. An exercise by
the Gorden Band of children of tbe Seventh
Church, under tbe leadership of Airs. Dr.
Llbhj, was well done, and showed tbe.splendia
drilling of the class in the Sabbath lessons. The
afternoon session was brought to a close by the
reading of a short paper by Airs. AI. AI. Calhoun
entitled, "Practical Mission Work." A deli
ciouslunch was then served by the ladies of tbe
Eighth Church.
At tho evening session tbe conference on
borne mission and church extension was
opened by Aiiss AI. A, George, of McDonald.
Alis Alary AIcQuigg spoke on the duty in re
gard to them, urging help in the missionary,
work and liberal contributions. Aiiss Margaret
Gilfilian spnko on the results of tho home
mission and church extension work on
other missionary work. The Committee on
Resolutions submitted their report which was
adopted. The delegates elected to the meeting
of the General Missionary Society, to be helu
in Washington, la., in 1S90, were Airs. W. D.
Irons, Airs. Jean S. Sands, Aiiss Lizzie McKee
and Airs. J. P.Wallace.
ITS PIRST OPEN MEETING.
A Large Crowd at the Feast of the Father
Mathew Association,
The first open meeting of the Father Alathew
Association, of this city, was beld last evening
In Duquesno Hall, Penn avenue. The large
hall was packed with the best Catholics of the
city, and was profusely decorated with flags of
allnations, Tbe stage was a bower of loveli
ness and wisdom; the familiar likenesses of
great men looking down upon those taking part
in the entertainment
The followlngjprogramme was rendered: Open
in g address, Fresident Jatr.es A. Burns. Piano
solo, Aiiss Ada AIcFarland. Specimen minutes.
Secretary Bernard O'Toole. Bass solo, "Pirato
King," Air. T, J. Fitzpatrick. Address, "Our
Association," Air. Frank Aiurto. Instrumental
duet Misses Alice Carter and Sadie Totten.
T?pitatlnn. Afr. .TaiTifia .1. Onlnn. Tpnnp cnln
A. V. D. Watterson, Esq. Essay. "Pre-Historic
and Traditional America," Air. Joseph A. Wel
don. Barytone solo, Mr. Lawrence A Ricketts.
Mrs. Arina Bennett's Funeral.
The funeral of Mrs. Anne Bennett, mother of
Samuel Bennett the well-known Second ave
nue business man. who- died Wednesday, will
take place this afternoon. from her late resi
dence. Airs. Bennett was one of tho oldest
residents of the city and was well known all
over town. She was born near Bwansea,
South Wales, in 1817, and camo to this city
shortly after tho big Are of 1815. She settled in
what is now called Temperanceville, and about
1850 removed to Second avenue, to tho house
where she died. She was well known as a
charitable and Christian woman and bad a
large circle of endearing friends.
Ripples From Society's Waves.
"Romeo and Juliet" will be given this
afternoon, at the Bijou Theater, by pupils of
the Curry University. Tbe title roles will be
assumed by Aiiss Millie Gardner and Mr. Ed
ward AlcConnell. Tbo performance will be
given under the direction of Prof. Byron King.
Tbe costumes to be worn are all now and
strikingly bcautirnl.
The second annualtrce supper of the Cen
tral Presbyterian Church, corner of Forbes
and Seneca streets, was given last evening.
The Young Ladies' Matinee Alusical gave an
entertainment, last evening, at the residence
of Mrs. Baxter, East End.
OUR ROAD EXPEDITION.
Outside Exchanges Generally of the Opin
ion That It Is a Mnmmoth Work, and
That Much Good Will Remit A Pointer
for Governor Denver's Commission.
From the Sharon Eagle.
That prince of progressive newspapers. The
Pittsburg Dispatch, has organized and
started out on Tuesday morning an expedition
to traverse the main country roads of Pennsyl
vania during the next two months. A two-'
borse wagon, built especially for the purpose,
and equipped with reporters and photographic
material has been provided, and a complete
and unvarnished account will be written, to
gether with the opinion of farmers with whom
the expedition may meet of the best means to
improve the highways. Tho information will
be.valuable and of inestimable benefit to tbe
State Commission appointed by Governor Bea
ver, and which will meet In Philadelphia some
time the coming summer to hear opinions on
tbe condition of the roads. It Is the only way
to get at the facts and to see the roads as thev
are, and this enterprise of the Dispatch will
be appreciated by everybody interested.
Invpntffffitlne; Conniry Rondo.
From the Sharpsvllle Advertiser.!
The Pittsburg Dispatch hassetabontthe
treatment of the subject of improving the coun
try roads in a practical way, and in doing so
shows commendable enterprise. Tbe publishers
of tbe paper last Wednesday started out an ex
pedition organized to explore the rural high
ways of Pennsylvania. Several reporters in a
wagon built for tbe purpose, and provided with
photographic material, will traverse every
country road and obtain the views of the farm
ers concerning their improvement
The importance of the results of this method
of obtaining a complete picture of tbeconditlon
of tbe roads, together with a consensus of opin
ion of those who use them, cannot be overesti
mated. Tbe country roads are the farmers'
highways to their markets, and thev will take a
great interest in anything which may result in
their improvement
A Rurnl Road Expedition.
from the Somerset Democrat. J
The Pittsbcro Dispatch has started an
expedition to traverse tbe country roads of the
entire State, with the view ol ascertaining just
how neglected the highways are. The expedi
tion is undertaken in tbe hope that when the
almost impassable condition of roads is demon
strated the State authorities will take some
action to relieve the perils of travel and losses
to farmers. L. E. Stofiel. a stafflwriterof The
Dispatch, has charge of the expeditlon,whlch
consists of a two-horse wagon.
Mud Splashes..
The Pittsburg Dispatch Is making itself
known by sending reporters over tbe different
dirt roads of the State, who report upon their
condition. A true statement of the condition
of Georgia's highways would require more
space than the newspaners could afford to give
it Savannah, Oa., News.
The Pittsburg Dispatoh has sent out a
party of reporters in a wagon to explore the
country roads in the vicinity ot that city and
report on their condition. Syracuse Standard.
REDUCING THE NATIONAL DEBT.
The Good Result ol Continuing tbe Pros
perity of Englnnd.
London, April 17. Air. Goschen. Chancellor
of the Exchequer, presented tbe budget in the
House of Commons to-day. It shows that tbe
expenses exceeded the estimates by 11,600 and
that the receipts exceeded tbe estimates by
over 3,000,000. The duty on alcoholic beverages
realized over 5,800.000. The beer duty ex
ceeded tbe estimates by 270,000. The dnty on
foreign spirits exceeded the estimates by 421.
000. on home spirits by 1,010,000 and on wine by
12,000. The total receipts froji alcoholic
beverages, both foreign and domestic, exceeded
the estimates by 1,800,000, a decrease of 17,500.
while tbe duties on tea showed an increase of
40.000.
Commenting on tbe gross revenue from alco
holic beverages, 29,265.000, Mr. Goschen said
that the figures showed a universal rush to the
beer barrel, tbe spirit bottle and tbe wine de
canter. Everybody seemed bent on toasting
the national prosperity and increasing the
revenue. He said be was glad to give a good
account of the continued reduction of the
national debt which, during last three years
bad been diminished by leaps and bounds. The
total reduction for lbS9 reached tbe sum of
8,295,000. This amount added to the reduc
tions of tbe previous two years made a grand
total of 23,323,000. This amount was tbe
largest ever paid in reduction of the debt dur
ing the same length of time.
CURRENT TIHELI TOPICS.
It is said that the locks on tbe Government
vaults are so weak that most any burglar could
pick them. Tdeiewlll be but very little nse for
locks, anyway, after the Congressmen get through
with the contents.
If this nice weather continues the drowning
season will soon be with us.
Queer people they have out in Kansas. Dur
ing the past winter they burned corn to keep
themselves warm, and now they are planting
corn by the llghtof the moon.
George W. Peck, of Milwaukee, is tbe best
advertised man ever elected Alavor of a city.
Will he Improve the opportunity and live up to
bis advertisements?
A correspondent in Alabama wrote a de
scription of hall stones measuring seven inches
In circumference and a day or two afterwards a
report was sent out that hall stones an Inch and a
half larger had fallen In Illinois. It made the
Southern man so mad tha4 he filled his bide full of
whisky, got arrested aud was sent to Jail for 30
days. Served him right. While be was In the
lying business he might Just as well told a good
big one, as his punishment would not have been
any greater.
Between 500 to 1,000 shots were fired at a
poor defenseless duck in Oil creek, at OH City.
None of the shots tired at It took effect, or If they
did the bird was either too proud or tough to ac
knowledge It.
Eastern Pennsylvania editors are pur
chasing straw hats and linen dusters on the
strength of Forcpaugh paying their respective
totfns a visit shortly.
One hundred years ago yesterday Benjamin
Franklin was gathered to bis fathers, ir the
philosopher and statesman could look around him
now and see the vast strides made In the printing
business, he would probably be shocked with
amazement
AIR. GreeltIs getting very careless about
the weather be Is dishing out these days. Here It
Is now over a week since he has given us a storm.
He has a kindly feeling, no doubt, for the people
who have been moving from onehouse to another.
IN Rhode Island when they discover an honest
man they dab him "Old Honesty." There are
only a few of them troubled with the oom de
plume.
"PLAY ball" will be beard officially through
out the length and breadth of the land to-morrow.
The umpire's life will be In Jeopardy, but he will
be able to Indulge in the novelty of three square
meal a day.
A oate has been designed for railway cross
ings which Is opened and shut by passing trains.
If It proves a success star gazers and coroners will
find their occupations gone.
It is said that if one Denver editor should
call anotucr a gentleman there would be a funeral,
and the editor who made the assertion would be In
the front wagon.
A SONG OF SPRING.
The swift Is wheeling and gleaming,
The brook Is brown In its bed,
Kain from tbe cloud Is streaming;
And the bow bends overhead.
The charm of the winter Is broken!
The last or tbe spell Is saldl
The eel in tbe pond is quickening,
Tbe grayling leaps In the stream:
What If tbe clouds are thickening?
Sec how the meadows gleam I
The spell of the winter Is shakenl
The world awakes from a dream I
The fir puts out green fingers,
The pear tree soltly blows.
The rose In her dark bower lingers,
But her curtains wilt soon unclose;
The lilac will shake ber ringlets
Over tho blush of the rose.
Tbe swirt Is wheeling aud gleaming,
The woods are beginning to ring.
Bain from the cloud Is streaming:
There, where the bow doth cllug,
Summer is smiling afar off.
Over the shoulder of Spring!
Eobtrt Buchanan,
OUR MAIL POUCH.
Dnngprous Qnasmlrn.
To the Editor of The Dispatch:
I am sorry that your road expedition has
gotten out of the city without first going over
tbe roads in onr suburban wards; fur instance,
the Twenty-seventh, Tliirty-flrst and Thirty,
second. Now. I would have led the procession
over the following route: From Pittsburg to
South Twenty-third street, thence over the
Twenty-seventh ward, thence to Arlington ave
nue, across to tho Thirty-first ward, up to
Eureka, along Eureka to Beltzhoover avenne.
thence along, Beltzhoover avenue, to the Wash
ington road toward the Bell House, West Lib
erty borough.
I am positive that when I wnnld pull up at
the Bell House, whatever time of Jay I might
arrive, I could send photo views and descrip
tion of roads for the readers of The Dispatch
that would make your hair turn up on end.
I think that men, horses, harnesses, etc.. will
be found about July 4, 1S90. that have been
Inst in tbe mud on the road between Allentown
and the Beltzhnnvcr borough road to the Bell
House, West Liberty. I have heard that a
wagon loaded with a few stone has been stand
ing at one place for one week. Whether the
teamster and horses have passed into the be
yond I cannot say. This road has been so bad
that tbe tountry peddlers have been com
pelled to ship by rail, as their wagons, etc., aro
lost in the canal of mud between here and
Little Washington, and they must hire horses
In the city to deliver their goods. From the
Bell House to Washington, Pa., the road must
be personally examined to jndge of it pro
perly. Nemo.
SoUTHSIDE. April 16.
Roads Thnt Are Worth Seeing.
To the Editor of The Dispatch:
If your road Inspection party want to view
the roads through tbe firtiie limestone hills of
Washington county, please let them come from
Washington via Buffalo village, and West Mid
dlctown to Independence, thence to Burgetts
town via Cross Creek village, and if they don't
see sights worthy the name of enlightened civi
lization, then they may as well strike for Pitts
burg, for they will certainly have enough ma
terial on which to write a big book. We think
this errand of mercy would convince yon that
the age in which we live is one of progress and
enterprise, especially tbe land owners of the
above named route.
Certainly the men getting up such an en
terprise as you have undertaken deserve tbe
praise of all citizens. By all means come this
way and see our public highways.
Independence, Pa., April 16.
We Think Not.
To the Editor of The Ulsnatch:
Please inform me through the medium ot
your columns whether the .late Rt Hon. John
Bright M. P., was ever knighted during his
lifetime. R. H. G.
Allegheny, April 16.
Queries Answered nnd Unanswered.
From T. N., city: I say that the court of Alle
gheny connty must produce a Catholic Bible
for a Catholic to swear on. It he calls fur it A
savs not Who is right?
Grocer: Tbe letter you intended to send re
garding tbe jubilee was not complete. Yon
sent page 3. bnt pages land 2 were not with it
Reader, Allegheny: The publication of mar
riage licenses in tbe daily papers is not com
pulsory; tbe Register can do as be pleases about
it
A Pittsburg reader wants to knowif marriage
licenses are required in Allchigan.
"Mixed" starts tbe old chestnut: Will Janu
ary 1, 1900, or January 1, 1901, be the beginning
of the twentieth century?
C. AI. D., Canonsburg. says: There are in tbe
Eastern cities dog pounds where stray dogs,
cauzht wandering around town, are taken and
kept a certain length of time, and then, if they
are not reclaimed or called for by their owners,
they are slaughtered. I would like to know
whether there Is such a pound in Pittsburg,
and if so, where is it? And can anyone call to
seethe dogs?
JAPAN WILL EXHIBIT.
A Good Showing Will be Made at the Chi
cago World's Fair.
CHICAGO, April 17. Teioke Alinami, Di
rector ot Commerce for tbe Royal Agricultural
and Commercial Department of Japan, whobas
been in Chicago several days en route from
Paris to Japan, is enthusiastic in bis praise of
American mannfacturcd goods in com
parison with those of Germany and
England. "If we can only secure cheaper
freight rates between San Francisco and
Japan," be said this afternoon, the trade be
tween that country and America will be won
derfully increased. At present we sell more
than we buy. We get large quantities of agri
cultural implements from Germany, but
they are cheap and poor. Yours
are far superior. It is tho
same with carpets, w hich we buyfrom England
and Germany. Aly Government is very de
sirous of finding some means "to bring about a
more intimate exchange with the United
States, and my trip is the preliminary step.
"Grand preparations for a Japanese exhibit
at the World's Fair," added the speaker, will
commence as soon as your Government officially
advises us that the fair is to be beld. Japan
made scarcely any exhibit at the Paris
exhibition last year on account of
the relations between France and Germany.
We in Japan really didn't know whether to ex.
pect a fete or a war. To retrieve the poor
showing at Paris, my Government will, I am
officially informed, give very generous financial
aid to the Japanese exhibitors who desire to
ship goods to Chicago."
Mr. Alinami leaves3unday for San Francisco,
where he will at once embark for home.
SUPPORTING BALFOUR'S BILL.
The Dolce of Argyll Says it Is a Very Good
niensare.
London, April 17. The Dnke of Argyll has
written a letter in support of the Irish land
purchase bill recently introduced in tho House
of Commons by Air. Balfonr. He argues that
it is a matter of urgent importance to re-establish
full ownership rights to tbeland of Ireland.
As things stand at present such rights are not
clearly fixed owing to what he terms "the
chaotic legislation" relating to the Irish land
question, which bas been adopted from time to
time during the past ten years.
Nobody, tbe Duke say, can call himself the
full owner of land when its value can be regu
lated at frequent Intervals by Government offi
cials who act upon no settled and clearly de
fined principle. As a natural result, their deci
sions satisly nobody neither the nominal own
ers nor the occupants of tbe land. Such a
state of things as now obtains in Ireland is
utterly barbarous, a violation of M common
sense, and a defiance of tho universal sense
and practice of all nations in all times. The
Duke concludes with the expression of a belief
that the purchasers to take advantage of the
provisions of the bill, would honestly pay tbe
Indebtedness they would Incur, aud that the
measure Is well adapted to secure such pay
ment INDIANS WANT TO KNOW
Just What Their Rights Are ns Landholders
In Severnlty.
Pierre. S. Dak.. April 17. Through the ef
forts of the Indian Rights Association, their
big powwow has been called bythebigchiefsof
the Sioux nations to reconsider tbe final action
on tbe taking of lands in severalty as provided
by law. Tho meeting is called for next Sunday
at a point two or three miles up the Bad river.
Colonel Lounsbury, special agent of tbe Gen
eral Land Office, and Register Bailey have been
invited ana will bo present.
The Indians intend more clearly to under
stand what their rights are as landholders in
severalty and to decide whether they shall take
land in that manner or go on to tbe reservation
and coutluue their relations. It will be a very
important meeting for them. John Grass, bit
ting Bull and other noted chiefs, as well as
other bands of hostiies, will attend.
Tbe Bcctboven's Last Recital.
The last recital of the Beethoven Club for
the season, which was given last evening in tbe
Pittsburg Clnb Theater, called out most of the
musical people of the two cities. The pro
gramme consisted of a number of difficult
selections rendered by tbe quartet, Alessrs.
Carl Retter. Fred G. and George Toerge and
Charles F. Cooper, and duets and solos by Airs.
EmmaBingler Wolf and Miss Agnes VogeL
A Preuy Picture.
Large crowds were entertained on Fifth ave
nue, yesterday, by a very pretty picture on ex
hibition in Alellor & Hoene's window. It is a
scene from "The Corslcan Brothers," In oil, by
Hillary Bell, an artist of no little note. The
picture Is large 67x07 inches aud is of consid
erable merit
Beeeher's Cbnrch la Tronble.
fSriCIAL telxgbam to tux dispatch.
New York, April 17. There is considerable
talk In Brooklyn about dissatisfaction which is
said to exist in tbe Plymouth Church in regard
to Dr. Lyman Abbott, and which may lead to
bis resignation.
' In Fnvnr of the Commonwealth.
'SrSCIAI. TICLEOrtAM TO THE DisrATCii:!
Harrisburg, April 17. A judgment was
rendered to-uay in favor of the Commonwealth
for 840,057 60 against tbe Erie and Western
Transportation Company for tax on capital
stock.
CURIOUS CONDENSATIONS. '
E. H. Hodge, of Caledonia, O., entered
the army when only 12 years old.
A Bickley, Ga., man has a handsaw'
which- was bought in 1771, which has been in
use constantly ever since.
A gold nugget, found in the Neal plac.
ers on Block creek. Idaho, reccntlv, is said to
perfectly resemble tbe figure of a woman.
A Colorado veteran bas outdone the
needle act by taking from his heel a bullet
which was shot into his hip at the battle of
Antietam.
A Philadelphia saloon keeper refused
to pay an additional J50 per month for his S50
house. Another man secured the property and
had the luck of getting a license.
Returns show that 82 Presbyteries have
voted in favor of revision. 40 against revision,
and four have refused to vote. There are yet
ofipresb-teries to be heard from.
About 1,000 wild ducks rested in and
about the Franklin street bridge, at Lansing,
Sunday night. They were on their way North,
and were overtaken by the heavy storm.
The Detroit W. C.T. TJ. will send to the
Czar of Russia a remonstrance against the
cruelties practiced upon the Siberian exiles,
also resolutions of sympathy with the unfortun
ate prisoners.
Clarence Toot, the Grand Rapids, Mich.,
thief, sent to Ionia for 12 months for punish
ment and not for his health, has been appointed
clerk in the depnty warden's office and will
have to worry through in some way.
Miss Alice Elliott, of Ottawa, OntV,
aged 23 years, while suffering from dementia,
swallowed a small penknife with the blMes
open. So far she has experienced no unpleas
ant resnlts, but ber physician is watching tho
case with great anxiety.
The false teeth swallowed by Lorenzo
Hinkley, of Aladrld. Me., a few days ago. were
taken from the oesophagus through tbe stomach
at Portland, at the State General Hospital.
The operation was a difficult and trying one,
and the patient survived.
A history of all the wars in which Rus
sia has been engaged since the time of Peter
the Great, is soon to be issued. It will be
edited by General Leer, who will be assisted
by some of the best known Russian authorities
in military matters. Three volumes are nearly
ready.
Mrs. John Soudts, a German woman re
siding on Water street, Pottstown, was fright
ened into convulsions and died Yesterday. Two
of ber children were playing on the Pennsyl
vania Railroad track, and the mother succeeded
in rescuing them from being run over by a pas
senger train.
A Sault Ste. Marie young man fell In
love with a girl, bnt her mother objected. One
night last week the young man took the girl
and her mother to a show, but got the seats,
widely apart While the play was in progress
the lovers slipped out and were married before
the curtain dropped.
In Madrid when an actor has a benefit
his admirers send to the theater little gifts,
such as canes, slippers, game and such trifles,
just as if it were a donation party, and the em
ployes hand these gifts around among the au
dience for inspection, while next day a com
plete list of them is printed in the papers.
The Monterey and Mexican Gulf Rail
way is using ebony and mahogany In tbe con
struction of its bridges, and the stations are
being built of black marble. Tbe country
through which this road runs abounds in those
kinds of woods, whereas the commoner kinds
usually used in constructing bridges are wholly
wanting.
According to the laws of Italy fathers
are responsible for their son's return when they
leave the country, and, shonld they not return
to do the military dnty required of them, are
put in prison. A young Italian, who had been
living in Waldoboro, Ale., returned to bis native
land last week to save bis father from a term of
imprisonment
In upward of 100 districts in tbe north
ern and western parts of Victoria simultaneous
action is to be taken for the destruction of the
rabbits, in accordance with tbe rabbit sup
pression act recently adopted by the Legisla
ture. Poisoned grain is to be largely used, and
it is estimated that fully 75 per cent of the rab
bits will be killed.
The old story of Richard III. of England
having baen born with teeth has been revived
by the recent birth of a child to parents of
German origin in Quitman, Ga., which pos
sesses a complete set. They are well formed,
milk white teeth, but show signs of softening
already and early decay, and are so closely
crowded together as to make the child's mouth
almost a deformity and only to be shut with
difficulty.
A remarkable story of a railroad acci
dent comes from 'Japan. Tbe Japan Gazette
states that, on January 21, a soldier committed
suicide by throwing himself in front of a train
on the Tokaido Railway. When the body was
found one of the arms was missing, and. on ar
rival of the train at KoDe. the missing limb was
found attached to one of tho engine wheels.
Tbe distance between the spot where the sui
cide took place and Kobe is about 200 miles.
Not long ago Moses Short, of "Wood
stock, N. J., aged 84, while working in a saw
mill, was thrown against the saw and part of
his shoulder sawed off. Recently bis daughter
fell from the bay mow while hunting eggs and
broke her.leg. Then bis wife fell down cellar
and broke her arm and received other serious
injuries. Finally, a few days ago, old Air. Short
went to the hay mow himself to hunt eggs,
when he fell to the barn floor and broke two
ribs.
A Kingston, N. T., man left by will a
life interest to bis widow in a little estate val
ued at 2,000, tbe property after her death to be
divided among 12 heirs. There being a small
mortgage on this property, foreclosure pro
ceedings followed, and the costs of court law
yers' fees. etc. made tbe iudgmentfoot tra to
81.939. During her life the widow will be en
titled to the Interest of the remaining dollar,
and at her death two ot the heirs will receive
20 cents each, five of them will be given four
cents each, four of them will be entitled to
five cents each, and one will receive the annual
interest on 25 cents during life.
In East Java, China, a band of contra
band opium dealers passing through a jungle
saw two tigers following them. They lost not
a moment in hastening their steps, but tbe
least nimble of them found tbe beasts of prey
at his heels, when he spied a tiger trap. He
crept into it with the forbiddon freight on his
back. The trap shut the closer for the heavy
weight, and when danger no longer threatened
the dealer he attempted to lift up the door of
the trap, but all his efforts proved unavailing.
Next day the setters came to have a look at the
trap and rejoiced to see it closed, thinking a
tiger bad been caught Their joy knew no
bounds when the prize proved to be a smuggler
with 30 catties of opium.
MEANT TO AMUSE.
"May it please Tour Honor," explained
the attorney, "the witness Insulted me."
"1 don't see how." said the Judge. "She
merely asked you to hand her the concentrated
lye."
"X es. Your Honor, but she was referring to my
brief." iraAtno:ton Star.
Caller "Where is Mr. Rhino, the cashier?
President of Bank He has gone on his regular
yearly vacation.
"He will be back again in a week or two, I pre
sume?" "I think so, bnt I am not sure. The experts
have not finished examining his hooks yet."
Chicago Tribune.
Teacher And Adam and Eve couldn't go
back to the garden, because an angel, holding a
flaming sword, was at tbe gate.
Billy Snodgrass Why didn't thev Jump the
fence? If I'd been there
Tony Fuller What're you talking 'bout?
'Sposln' 't was barb wire? Puck.
Mr. Bent I'm sorry to see, Maria, that
our Tommy If developing Anarchistic tendencies.
Airs. Bent Bless me! What's he been doing?
Air. Bent Why, I heard him talking very fero
ciously to a small boy; but when tho other put up
his fists, Tommy ran away I Puck.
Bootblack Shine, mister?
General Gr 1 y Er no, I'm afraid not The
atmospherlo pressure denotes rain. Besides, I
predicted fair weather yesterday. American
Grocer. f
"Mabel!"
It was Heorge who spoke. George was hanging
by his elbows on the stone wall and was looking
over timorously.
"What Is It?"
"Will you will yon "
'Will I what?"
"Will you communicate with your dog and In
form him that he owes me about three square
inches of rebate in this pair of trousers?" H'ojA
ington Pott.
Page is a youngster who is given to
slang and his father does not like it. Tbe other
morning at breakfast be said something and bll
lather reproved him. I '
"I thought I told you not to nse slang," he
said.
Blang?" repeated Page with big innocent in
terrogation points in his eyes; "well, if that's
slang, yon may paste me one In the neck."
Washington Star.
9
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