tS
THE PITTSBURG- DISPATCH, SUNDAY. APRIL 6, 1890.
10
me to make you aware of his dissatisfaction,
as will be done moreover by the Minister of
the Interior also."
Schelm turned pale and trembled.
"His Majesty the Emperor does not seem
to know "
The Count turned to the door, saying as
lie went out:
"I hare nothing else to say to you!"
When both were alone Palkin at once
drew himselt up and his arrogance returned
doubly offensive. On his narraw lips hov
ered a smile of triumph. He patted Schelm
on his shoulder and said:
"Ha! ha! ha! What do you say now,
Minister? But I am an honest fellow and
bear no ill-will. To honor my new decora
tion 1 invite you to dinner."
"Go to the devil," said Schlem.
"All right. 1 am going at once," replied
Palkin, humming an air that was then very
popular.
Your wrath rejoices, rejoices me highly!
This sons of triumph resounded a Ion;;
time in the ears of the unfortunate headof
division; long he sat at his desk absorbed in
sad thoughts, throwing unconsciously his
papers irom one place to another.
Suddenly he rose, and supporting himself
with his hand on the table, he said, look
ins at the Emperor's portrait, with a reso
lute voice:
"To win your favor we must discover or
make up a conspiracy? Very well then. I
shall discover one and such a one that you
shall tremble on your throne, you ruler of
all the Busstas."
Then he took off his spectacles, wiped with
his dirty yellow handkerchief the large
drops of perspiration that had gathered on
his brow, took his hat, pulled it down over
his face and hurriedly left the office.
The official on duty in the anteroom made
a deep bow ana accompanied it with a
scornful smile, which he did not even at
tempt to conceal, since Schelm never
deigned to look at one of his subordinates.
He then went into the office of the head of
division, arranged the papers on the table
and did not leave the .Ministry till towards
8 o'clock.
ir.
Alexander Wernin was 60 years old. He
was a Senator, Counselor of State and a
knight of many orders. He had an income
of 100,000 rubles a year and only one daugh
ter, the fair Jana, who was to inherit his
whole fortune.
"VYerain was a favorite at court and de
Toted heart and soul to the Emperor. In
every reform or innovation he saw revolu
tionary tendencies and believed firmly that
since the French Revolution of 1789 the,
reign ot the Antichrist had begun. His re
spect for the hieraichy of the civil service
was very extraordinary; subordination and
etiquette weie to hiin Christian virtues.
As soon as he saw a Privy Councilor he
rose; a General be accompanied bareheaded
to his carriage in the bitterest cold, and
always bared his head when anyone uttered
the name of the Czar in his presence. He
required, however, something like it from
his inferiors, also, lor himself; he called
every inferior officer bv his christian name
and cniy became respectful with Privy
Councilors. He often repeated the words:
"In my eyes no one is anybody who is not a
Counselor of State or a Colonel."
The only exception he made was in behalf
of the surroundings of the Czar. "Whenever
he appeared at court and this occurred
quite oiten he bowed even to the lackeys
who wore the imperial livery. In spite of
these eccentricities Alexander Wernin was
one of the best men in the world; courage
ous, noble, ever ready to help others and
benevolent. He won the love and esteem of
all who came in close contact with him.
Jana, his only daughter, whom he loved
with his whole heart, was in every sense of
the word a spoiled child, and the enormous
fortune of her father enabled her to gratify
every whim. Gradually she came to tyran
izc over him entirely; he never ventured to
check her in her caprices and he trembled
ct a look irom her. Jana did not look at all
like a fair daughter of the North. In her
dark eyes, overshadowed by heavy, black
brows, cverv moment flashes" of impatience
or wrath would shine forth; her gestures
were quick, pissionite, full of life and ener
gy. Her beauty was enchanting, and every
body oon recognized in her the omnipotent
woman, before whom all in the house knelt
down. And Jana was by nature not bad at
all; there was nothing devilish in her eyes
as in those of George Sand's heroines: when
she was at rest her features reflected the sat
is action of a queen whose every wish is
silently fulfilled by her subjects. Wrath
was not infrequent, but it was short-lived
Her heart was good and her joy greatest
when she could make others happy. Un
fortunately, she, the object of continuous
flattery, had become so proud that when she
did a kind act or conierred a benefit she
made the recipient feel that her presence
alone was a great favor.
One the same day when the remarkable
scene took place at the Ministry of the In
terior Jana was sitting in a large drawing
room idly turning over the leaves of an
albnm. The clock struck 4. Pacing the
fire sat a younc man of very fine and prom
ising exterior, busily engaged in arranging
visiting cards and writing addresses. This
was Count Vladimir Lanin, Jana's be
trothed. Jana refused to hear marriage spoken of
till she was 20; she knew how to dispose of
all aspirants to her hand very cleverly and
kindly, though occasionally one fared not
qutte so well. One day, however, she met a
yonng diplomat who was presented to her
by his uncle, the Emperor's first aid de
camp. She had known him now a whole
year. She had early begun tp favor him
among the host of admirers who constantly
filled her father's house, lie was desperate
ly in love with her, yet he did not venture
to declare himself, although his positionand
his fortune would have justified the step.
Jana anticipated the confession, which the
young diplomat did not venture to make.
"Count Vladimir," Ehe said one evening
to him, calling bim for the first time byhis
Christian name, "you are in love with" me,
are you not?"
The young man blushed, then turned pale,
and was barely able to fold his hands as if
in silent prayer.
"I love you also," continued Jana, and
her voice, which was generally icy cold, be
came of a sudlen soft and gentle. "Will you
make me your wife?"
Count Lanin fell on his knees over
whelmed by his unexpected good fortune,
kissed the hem of her dress and was so re
joiced and so deeply moved that the
haughty beauty did not repent having given
him such vigorous encouragement.
The next day Jana informed her father of
her engagement. The Councilor was unable
to oppose any wish of his daughter, and
moreover, Lanin possessed all that could be
desired in a son-in-law and was certainly an
excellent match. Alexander "Wernin gave
his consent most willingly.
As Jana knew only one will and that her
own, and as she nerer liked to wait, she de
termined to have the wedding at once. Wer
nin knew no difficulties and no impediments
when his daughter's wish was made known
to him, and he turned everything upside
down in tne nouse in preparation lor the
wedding on the following Sunday.
On Tuesday Lanin was already busy send
ing out invitations, which he did very
methodically, having gone through all the
cards of friends and acquaintances, select
ing those to be favored and now appending
their names to engraved invitations. Lanin
paused for a moment in this occupation.
Examining one card which evidently caused
him great surprise, he read it once more,
lauched aloud and asked, shoving it to his
betrothed:
"Who might this be?"
Jana raised her eyes and said, smiling:
"I must see the name; I cannot read it
from here."
"Onophri Schelm. Privy Councilor, Head
of Division in the Ministry of the Interior,
Knight ot the Order of St. Stanislas, L
Class of the Order of St. Ann, etc, Presi
dent of the Society for the Protection of
Animals, etc. Caravan street, S3."
Jana laughed aloud.
"He is one of my adorers, who last Satur
day asked my hand through the agency of a
very high personage. When father brought
me his card he said very solemnly: 'This is
a man recommended to us from high places,
and if Lanin did not have our word he
would not be a man to be despised. At all
events, we must be careful not Jo offend
him, and I shall at once go to the Minister
and tell him that Mr. Schelm came too late.
Monday I shall call on Mr. Schelm him
self.' "
"Do you know this admirer?" asked
Lanin.
"I never saw him," answered Jana. "To
tease father I asked him if my unknown
worshiper was handsome and young. 'He
is not 40 yet,' was the answer, 'and has al
ready secured a high position; he looks very
well, too, when he puts on all his orders and
decorations.' To punish father lor saying
this, I forbade his going to the Minister, and
told him to use nothing but empty phrases
of politeness and not to forget our wedding.
He wanted to make excuses," continued
Jana, laughing merrily, "but I did not let
him get his breath, so that, to this day, I
have no idea what sort of a man he may be
nor do I care in the least."
"Schelm! Schelm 1" repeated Lanin. "I
remember a lellow-student who had that
curious name; he studied law. He was an
untidy, malicious, poisonous sort of man
whom nobody could endure. Perhaps it is
he?"
"What?" exclaimed Jana. "Such a man
dared ast me to become his wife? We must
punish him! Write at once his address on
one of those cards of invitation, but do not
forget to give him all his title. Jly father
ran afterward make his excuses to the
Minister. Quick! Quick! Write to Mr.
Onophri Schelm, etc., etc Copy the card
laitbiuiiy.
Lanin was hesitating, but Jana frowned
and he quickly did as he was bid.
"What is now to be done with his visiting
card?" he asked, after having copied it ex-
"Throw it into the fire," she said eagerly,
"even his memory shall perish. A man
whom I never saw"in all my life, who did
not even condescend to appear in person as a
suitor for mv hand, he dared ask my hand.
I have indeed a ngnt to be angryl
Lanin tossed the card into the fire and
rang a bell.
"I sometimes see you, in my dreams, alone,
forsaken and unhappy," said Jana after
the letters had gone. "I see you in a far
off country in a hut, hopeless and almost
despairing. I step into the poor, wretched
hut, but not in ricn dresses and full of joy,
not, as now, surrounded by flatterers and
admirers, but fatigued by a long journey
and in rags. And yet I am fair and you
love me still. You were despairing mainly
because you thought you would never see
me again. My presence makes the hut look
beautiful to your eyes; I bring you new hope,
happiness, the best consolation, and I am
myself happy. Oh, so happyl"
I MTJST SEE
Lanin fell on his knees belore her and
covered her snow-white hand with ardent
kisses. Tears were in his eyes as he cried:
"Jana, do not say such things or you will
drive me mad with sheer happiness. ,E could
almost wish to he unhappy to find you near
me, to live for you and in you and then to
die at your feet, but I cannot imagine your
living in such a condition. Luckily, it is all
a dream," he added, smiling, "an idle
dream, that can never be realized, for if you
should ever follow me to foreign lands it
couid only be to Paris or London, when I
am appointed Secretary of Legation!"
At this moment the doors opened and
Wernin entered, dressed in his gala uniform
an.l covered with stars and orders. He
shook hands with Lanin, kissed his daughter
and said:
"Your obedient father reminds you that
this is the last of the three days during
which your last admirer was not to be men
tioned, and I was forbidden to make my ex
cuses to the Minister. You see how your
slave obeys you, but longer I dare not waitl"
"Dear father," replied Jana, "do what
you like; I set you free. So that was the
Minister of the Interior! Count Perowski
was kind enough to be interested in myfate.
I am exceedingly obliged to himi"
"You are forever jesting child, becanse
you do not know what life is. You do not
know what trifles may suddenly become of
the utmost importance People who hold
the rudder must never be offended!"
Jana interrupted him: "You can take my
excuses, too, when you call on the Count
and on Schelm: I have just played a good
trick on the head of division!"
Old Wernin was almost beside himself.
"You are not in earnest, I hope, when you
say that. You surely were not childish
enough to offend a man who has never done
you any harm? What frivolity that would
be!"
"He has done me no harm, you say,
father? A man wio dares ask lor my hind
through his Minister, without knowing me, .1
without ever having entered our bouse?
Who does he think 1 am? Dear father, you
almost make me angry."
"For lour years Mr. Schelm has been at
every ball given in our house, and two years
ago he hinted at his intentions, although so
'obscurely that I took it but for general po
liteness." "Then, I suppose, he belongs to the ugly
old men who play whist during the ball or
watch ofir dancing from afar off. All the
greater is his guilt"
"He is neither very old nor very ugly.
The Minister was kind enough to come in
person and to solicit votir hand. I was not
at home. To-day I shall explain the matter,
and I beg you will not cause me any new
anxiety with your frivolity."
"But, dear father," said Jana, laughing
heartily, "I did not dream of jesting with
you. In answer to his demand tor my hand
I have sent Mr. Schelm an invitation to my
wedding, giving him carefully all the titles
on his ridiculous card."
"Did she really do that?" asked Councilor
Wernin.
"Certainly, Councilor," replied Lanin,
smiling, "and we have actually committed
that crime."
Old Wernin turned very pale.
"Foolish, impudent children!" he ex
claimed. "Do you know who that man
Schelm is? Do you know that from bis
office in the Ministry of the Interior he dis
poses of our fortunes and our lives? Do you
know that he decides questions which we
dare not allude to in conversation? You all
tremble when you hear the head of the
gendarmes mentioned. Well, Schelm is a
hundred times more dangerous than Count
Orion'. Do your duty to the Czar and to
Russia, and you need not fear the high offi
cials. But tremble when those subordinate
people approach you who have inch formid
able powers in their hands; tremble when
you bear their names mentioned! This man
Schelm disposes of an equal power with the
head of the gendarmes, but it is hidden,
mysterious, and tie is capable of using his
power readily to gratify his ambition and
his revenge. Yon have offended Schelm,
and you laugh! I tell you, if you have
wounded his elf-loTe, we are lost! No
money, no influence, can save us from ruin!"
Jana did not mind her father's ominons
forebodings in the least.
"He must be a Chamberlain," she said,
ironically, "or you would not esteem bim
so highly. How is it that this title is not
on his card?"
Perhaps for the first time in his life the
old man cast a stern look at his daughter.
"My child," he said very seriously, "your
jests are out of place here. No, Schelm is
not a Chamberlain; he does not even hold a
high place, but hh power is great. I am
not a Liberal, and I do not despise the men
who are necessary in order to watch over
the life of His Majesty, and who honorably
do their duty. I know Schelm too little
to say what sort of a man he is, but his
hatred fills me with apprehensions for you,
my child, my dearest Jana" here the
poor old man's eyes filled with tears, and
he pressed his daughter to his breast, "I
tremble for you, Vladimir, and for my own
child."
The young diplomat, who had silently
listened tb the old man's words, looked
proudly upwind said:
"Fear not, Councilor, for us! My life is
blameless. I am loyal to my Emperor and
always shall be. I fear nothing, but against
vile calumny the influence of ray uncle, the
Adjutant of His Majesty the Emperor, will
protect me."
"And if he were the Adjutant of St. Nich
olas himself he could not protect you against
Sell elm's denunciation! Do you hear that,
young Hotspur?" ,
Never had the Councilor shown such ex
citement never had he uttered the names
of the Emperor and of St. Nicholas in such
a way. Jana became at last aware that her
ill-timed jest might find result in evil conse
quences, and as in the depths of her heart she
loved ller father dearly, she stepped up to
him, kissed him tenderly and said:
"He calm, 1 beseech you, dear father! If
this Mr. Schelm holds such a high position
he cannot be a fool. He must see the real
meaning of our invitation amd look upon it
as a poor joke."
"Schelm is a vain, ugly and malicious
man," replied Wernin; "lorgotting what he
had just said. "He makes all the greater
pretensions because he feels how little he
deserves them. Perhaps it would be better
for you if you had conspired against the
Czar, than to indulge in such a dangerous
jest. But this is no time for complaints
we must see what can be done. Tell me
quickly where he lives."
"Father," said Jana, folding her hands,
"I have burned the cards and cannot re
member the address."
"What a chain of mishaps!" said the old
man. "Jana, my angel, what is to become
of us? I shall hasten to see the Minister
THE MINISTER.
and if they cannot tell me there I shall have
to call at every house near the Prospective
and inquire." He left the room hastily.
"My lather is so easily disquieted," said
Jana. "I cannot see anything in this that
we should be so frightened."
"Unfortunately," said Lanin, "I, also.
nave Decome anxious. 1 never saw your
father in such a state of excitement"
Count Ivon, the owner of the house in
which Schelm lived, had arranged it after
French fashion. The portier inhabited a
small room, from which all the staircases
started that led to the different apartments
of the tenants. As in Paris, he also received
all that came by post for the inhabitants ot
the vast building.
It might have been 7:30 whem Schelm
came home and passed the portier's lodge.
"Here is a letter for you," cried the latter.
"Give it to me at once!" said Schelm,
stopping a moment
As soon as he had received the letter, he
stepped under the lamp that lighted up 'the
hall. At the sight of the imposing address
he began to frown; quickly he tore open the
envelope and found this letter:
The Privy Councilor, A. A. Wernin. has the
honor to inform you ot the engagement of his
daughter Jana with Count Vladimir Lanin.and
at tbe same time, to invite you to be present at
the wedding ceremony in the Cathedral of Our
Dear Lady of Kasan, on Novembers.
For a moment Schelm stood as if struck
by lightning; he grew fiery red, the perspira
tion covered his forehead and his knees
trembled. With one hand he took off his
spectacles. With the other he sought bis
yellow silk handkerchief, wiped bis brow,
iooked blankly at the portier, who smiled
stupidly, and crushed the letter wrathfully
and threw it down; then he rushed out into
tbe street without his hat and spectacles.
"What a look that was!" said the portier
to himself, "he must have gotten bad news."
Faithlully following the example of his
Paris colleagues, he picked up the letter on
the floor and tried to read the contents.
Schelm could not have gone far when a car
riage drove up, and a gentleman covered
with decorations called the portier and in
quired for Schelm.
"He has just left," answered the portier.
"Did he get any letters?"
"Ye, Your Excellency; he had just re
ceived this note, and had " thrown it, crum
pled, to the floor ... so I thought ..."
"Quick! hand it here! You ass!" cried
Wernin, tearing the ball of paper from the
portier's hand. "Too late!" he whispered,
alter he had read the fatal invitation. '
Then he returned the letter to the portier,
and stepped into his carriage, saying to him
self, "I was not mistaken! We shall have
to fight a fierce battlel"
To be continued next Sunday.)
Copyright. 1890, by Meta de Vere.
MAN LIKES TO BE BOSS.
The Prudent Wife Will Set Apart a Room for
His Excluslvo Use.
Detroit Free Press.
A man wants some one place in his home
that he can call his very own, some portion
of the house where his will is law, where no
conflict of authority can arise. This 'is not
altogether for the purpose of securing soli
tude, for his family is usually most welcome
there, but the need for it springs from the
desire for that sense of proprietorship which
is his habit abroad, and Irom the wish to be
able to do precisely 'as he pleases in at least
a corner of his own house.
Here should be the comforts that the man
devises for himself; the lounging chairs, the
desk and library, his smoking materials,
with license to use them. Here 'he should
be able to feel absolutely at bis ease.troubled
by no fear of "mussing things."
Th Old Proverb Exemplified. '
Philadelphia Press.:
The Western Union ii rapidly extending
its business of selling standard time in all
parts of the country. The success of this
enterprise is another striking proof of the
adage tint "time is 'money." .
NYE BUYS MORE LAND.
Persuaded to Invest by the Bicycle
Prophet and Wiggins.
SURE IT'S 1 PR0PHETABLE DEAL.
The
Vicissitudes of Winter Traveling
Across the Continent.
STORIES ABOUT THE P1DTB INDIANS
tWBITTIN TOP. TUB DISFATCII.l
IHAVEjust bought
some more real estate.
It occurred in Oak
land, Cal. I had the
assistance of a prophet.
I hope the loss will
not overbalance the
prophet It occurred
in this way: A prophet
on a bicycle, who was
hard up, came to Oak
land suddenly a few
weeks ago and began
to ride up and down
on a two wheeler and
warn the peoole to flee
to the high grounds and also the wrath to
come, for, he said, the waters of the great
deep would arise at about the middle of the
month and smite the people of Oakland
and slay them, and float the pork barrels
out of their cellars, and fill their cisterns
with people who sneered at the prophecy.
Meeting Mr. J. Sides.
This prophet in this way did a good busi
ness. He attracted much notice, and had all
he could do as a prophet for several weeks.
Many Oakland people were frightened,
especially as Wiggins, the great intellectual
Sahara of the prophet industry, also pro
phesied a high wave which would rise at
least above the bills at the Pacific Hotel in
San Francisco. With the aid of these two
genera, middle-weight prophets, I was en
abled to secure some good bargains in corner
lots and improved property in Oakland at 10
per cent of the estimated value. In other
words, I am putting my limited powers as a
prophet against those ot Prof. Wiggins, the
painstaking and gifted ass of Canada, and
and bicycle prophet of the Pacific slope. I
am willing to stand or fall by the result.
"WHY HE DON'T PKOPHESY.
As a prophet I have never attracted at
tention in this country, mostly because I
have been too busy with other things. Also
because there was so little prophesying to
be done that I did not care to t.ike hold of
the iudustry; but I have ever been ready to
purchase at" a great discount the desirable
residences of those who contemplated a gen
eral collapse of the universe, or a tidal
wave which would wipe out the general
government and cover with a placid sea the
mighty republic which nature has hereto
fore, for some reason, smiled upon. I have
secured some good trades in downtown
property, and will await the coming devas
tation with a calm and entirely unruffled
breast.
California at tins season of the year is a
miracle of beauty, as most every one knows.
Nature heightens the effect for the tender
foot by compelling him to cross the Alpine
heights of the Sierra Nevada Mountains ana
freeze to death in the cold heart of a snow
blockade. Thus, weather beaten and sore,
he reaches the rolling green hills and is
greeted with the rich odor of violets. I sub
mitted to the insults of a tottering monopoly
for a week, in the heart of the winter, and,
tired and sicfc at soul, with chilblains on
feet and liniment on my other lineaments, I
hurst forth one bright morning into this
realm of eternal summer. The birds sang
in my frozen bosom. I shed the gunnysack
wraps from my tender feet even as a butter
fly or a tramp bursts his hull in the spring
time, and I laughed two or three coarse, out
door laughs, which shook the balmy
branches of the tall pomegranate trees and
twittered in the dense foliage of the mag
nolia. ME KAILKOAD'S POLICY.
The railroad was very kind to us at first.
That was when we were buying our tickets.
Later on it became more harsh and re
proached us at times. Conductors woke us
up two or three times in the night to gaze
fondly on our tickets and look as if they
were sorry they ever parted with them. On
the Central Pacific passengers are not per
mitted to give their tickets to the porter on
retiring. You must wake up and converse
with the conductor at all hours of the night,
and hold a lantern for him while he slowly
spells out the hard words on "your ticket I
did not like this, and several times I mur
mured in a querulousdone to the conductor.
But he did not mind it He went on doing
the behests of his employer, and in that way
endearing himself to the grfat adversary of
souls.
I said to an official of the road: "Do you
not think this is the worst managed road in
the United States always excepting the
Western North Carolina Itailroad, which is
an incorporated insult to humanity?"
'Well, that depends, ot course," he said,
"on what standpoint from which you view
it Well, if you were 'trying to divert
travel to the Southern Pacific, also the roll
ing stock, the good will, the culverts, the
dividends, the frogs, the snow sheds, the
right of way and the new laid train figs,
everything except the first, second and" third
mortgages, which would naturally revert to
the Government, would you not think we
were managing the business with a steady
hand and a watchful eye?"
I said I certainly would. I then wrang
his hand softly and stole away, as he also
began to do the same thing.
CULTIVATING THE PIUTES.
At Eeno we had a day or two in which to
observe the city from the car platform while
waiting for the blockade to be raised. We
could not go away from tbe train more than
500 feet, lor it might start at any moment.
That is one beauty about a snow blockade.
It entitles you to a stop over, but you must
be ready to hop on when the train starts. I
improved the time by cultivating the ac
quaintance ot tbe beautiful and picturesque
outcasts known as the Piute Indians. Tbey
are a quiet, reserved set of people, who, by
saying nothing, sometimes obtain a reputa
tion for deep thought. I always envy any
body who can do that Such men make
good Presidental candidates. Candidates,
1 say, mind you. The time has come in this
country when it is hard to uui'e good quali
fications as a candidate with the necessary
qualities for. a successful official.
The Piute in March or Annl does not go
down cellar and bring up his gladiola or re
move the banking from the side oi hit villa.
He does not mulch the asparagus bed or
nrnne the Die plant or rake the Iront yard
or salt the hens. He does not eyen wipo hi J
heart-broken and neglected nose. He makes
no especial change in bis creat life work,
because spring has come. He still looks
serious and like a man who is laboring
under tbe impression that he is about to be
come the parent of a thought These chil
dren of the Pinte brave never mature. They
do not take their places in the history or the
school readers of our common country.
HIS PERSONAL APPEAEANCE.
The Piute wears a bright red lap robe
over his person, and generally a stiff Quaker
hat with a leather band. His hair is very
thick, black and coarse, and is mostly cnt
off square in the neck by means of
an adz, l judge, or possibly it is eaten
off by moths. The Piute is never bald dur
ing life. After he is dead he becomes bald
and beloved. Johnson Sides is a well-known
Piute who had the pleasure of meeting me
at Eeno. He said he was a great admirer
of mine and had all my writings in a scrap
book at home. He also said that he wished
I would come and lecture for his tribe. 1
afterward learned that he was an earnest
and hopeful liar irom Truckee. He had no
scrap bonk at all. Also no home.
Mr. Sides at one time became quite
civilized. He now established a hotel
up the valley in the Sierras and
decided to live a life of industry.
He built a hostelry called the Shack-de-Poker-Hunt-us,
and advertised in the
Carson Appeal, a paper even the editor of
which, Mr. Sam Davis, says fills him with
wonder and amazement when he knows that
people actually subscribe for it. Very soon
Fiutes began to come to the Shack to spend
the heated term. Every Piute saw the ad
vertisement, which went on to state that
hot and cold water could be got into every
room in the house and that electric bells,
baths, silver-voiced chambermaids, over
charges and everything else connected with
a first-class hotel could be fonnd at this
place. So tbe Piute people locked up their
own homes, and, ejecting the cat, they spat
on the fire and moved to the new summer
hotel. Tbey took their friends with them.
They had no money, but they knew John
son Sides and they visited him all summer.
SOLACE IN THE BOWL.
In the fall Mr. Sides closed the house, and
taking a rubber cuspidor, with a capacity of
two gallons, he resumed his blanket and
went back to live with his tribe. When the
butcher wagon came the next day the driver
found a notice of sale, and in the language
of Sol Smith Bussell, "Good reasons given
for selling." Mr. Sides had been a temper
ance man now for a year, at least externally,
but with the humiliation of this great finan
cial wreck came a wild desire to flee to the
maddening bowl, having been monkeying
with the madding crowd all summer.
So silently he concealed a bottle of Eeno
embalming fluid and secreced himself be
hind a tree, where he was asked to join him
self in a social nip. He had hardly wiped
away an idle tear with the corner of his
blanket and replaced the stopper in his tear
jug, when the local representative of the U.
G. J. E. T. A. of Eeno came upon him. He
was reported to the lodge, and his character
bade fair to be smirched so badly that noth
ing but saltpeter and a consistent life could
save it At this critical stage Mr. Davis, of
the Appeal, came to his aid, and not only
gave him the support and encouragement of
his columns, but told Mr. Sides that he
would see that the Legislature took speedy
action in removing his alcoholic disabili
ties. Through the untiring efforts of Mr.
Davis, therclore, a bill was framed "where
by the drink taken by Johnson Sides, of Ne
vada, be ana is Hereby declared null and
void."
WOBKING THE LEGISLATUBE.
On a certain day Mr. Davis told him that
the bill would come up lor final passage and
no doubt pass without opposition, but a sack
would have to be raised to defray the ex
penses. The tribe began to collect what
money they had and to sell their grasshop
pers in order to raise more.
Johnson Sides and his tribe gathered on
the day named and seated themselves in the
galleries. Slim old warriors with firm faces
and beetling brows, to say nothing of hav
ing their hair roached, but yet with no flies
Looking Into the Land of Flowers.
on them to speak o', sat in the front seats,
not knowing anything that was going on
any more than other people do who go to
watch the Legislature. Finally, however,
Sam Davis came and told Mr. Sides that
the hill had passed and that he was now
pure as the driven snow. I saw him last
week, but it seemed to me it was about time
to tret some more special legislation for him.
Once Mr. Davis met Mr. Sides on the
street and was so glad to see him that he
said, "Johnson, I like you first rate, and
would always be glad to see you. When
ever you can, let me know where you are."
The next week Sam got quite a lot of
telegrams from along the railroad for the
Indians ride tree on account of their sym
pathies with the road. These telegrams
were dated at different stations along the
way, and were hopeful and eyen cheery, all
marked "collect." They were about as
follows:
Sam Davis, Carson, Nev. :
Winnkmucca, NEV., March. 31. '8a
1 am here. Johnson Sides.
Every little while, for quite a long time,
Mr. Davis would get a bright, cheery
telegram, sometimes in the middle of the
night, when he was in bed, assuring him
that Johnson Sides was "there," and he
would go back to bed cheered and soothed
and sustained. Bill Nye.
MASONS F0K EIGHT HOURS.
The Fraternity Bonnd to Give BlOral Sap
port to tbe MoTemenr.
King Alfred the Great, who was an emi
nent Mason, says the St Louis Globe
Democrat, first formulated tbe declaration
that mau shonld devote eight hours to work,
eight hours to sleep, and eight hours to
recreation This declaration to-day is part
of the Masonic teachings, and the working
classes look to that fraternity for moral and
active support when the time'arrives for an
open and general declaration in behalf of
the eight-hour wage day.
GEiNIDS UNDER PRESSURE.
One of Carleton's Beat Poems Was Farced
From Him by tbe Printers.
"Apple Blossoms," is one of Will Carle
ton's best poems, and he tells how it was
written as follows: "As 1 was sitting in my
editorial chair in a Detroit newspaper
office one day there came an imperative
call for a little more copy to fill up the
forms. I had to find or create something.
I cannot tell how the idea came to me. I
simply know that I dashed off the verses in
a very few minutes, thinking more about
space than anything else."
A Recommendation.
In regard to Chamberlain's Pain Balm, I
am pleased to say that I can recommend it
with confidence, and that it hat done more
for me than any other medicine for rheuma
tism, of which I have been a great sufferer.
Henby Valeeius, Harper, Keokuk, Co.,
lew. wan.'
l " VT r- "
MIRACLES ARE MYTHS
The Consensus of Opinion of Eminent
Scholars and Skeptics.
HATDRE'S LAWS ARE IMMUTABLE.
Efforts to Explain Away the Phenomena
Described in the Bible.
PEATS OF MODERN W0NDEE-T70RKEKS
rrnsFAiuD roa the dispatch.)
A series of questions regarding miracles
has been put to the writers on ghosts and
Hindoo magic already well known to readers
of The Dispatch. The replies given here
with are full of interest and suggestive.
The qnestions were as follows:
First Do you believe there is such a
thing as a miracle, or that there has ever
been?
Second What is your explanation of the
miracles referred to in the Old and New
Testament ?
Third Can modern magicians, i. e., the
magicians of to-day, duplicate or equal
those ancient marvels?
The most concise answers come from Prof.
E. D. Cope, of the University of Pennsyl
vania, as follows:
First Interference with the laws of mat
ter and energy is not to be expected. I have
never known of a case.
Second Careless observation, inexact re
cording and absolute fabrication.
Tbird They can perform some of them.
Others cannot be duplicated.
Daniel Greenleaf Thompson answers in a
similar vein, as follows:
First If by miracle is intended an arbi
trary interference with the order of nature,
I do not believe it At the same time, I see
no reason why any power that makes nature
cannot control nature and act in ways that
we do not understand. The evidence is,
however, of a complete uniformity of na
ture. Second Those statements in the Scrip
tures which set forth facts commonly styled
miraculous are, in my judgment, false; their
falsity coming rather from mistakes of tact,
made in relying upon traditions with their
primitive credulity, which is seen in all
Eastern peoples.
Herrmann, the magician, answers tbe
questions as follows: I think the "miracles"
were simply sleight-of-hand tricks. I think,
for instance, that Moses was an excellent
sleight-of-hand performer and adept presti
digitateur, who did not hesitate to use his
skill in this direction to fortify and strength
en his position as a leader. I think that
the magicians of to-day are the best magi
cians the world has ever known.
Seth Pancoast writes: For a miracle to oc
cur it would be necessary to suspend some
one of the laws that upholds or sustains the
perpetuity of movement observed in nature.
Perhaps eight-tenths of the alleged miracles
never ocenrred. We know very well that the
sun never ceased to revolve or that Elijah
never ascended to heaven in his physical
body and in a material chariot In both
cases the laws of gravitation would have to
be suspended.
A small portion of the Old Testament and
a larger portion of the New are purely
cabalistic. The first four chapters of Gene
sis give an allegorical description of crea
tion of the exoteric cosmos, tbe unsexual
spirit and its individualization in organic
forms; it also describes the fall of humanity
by the bisexual division of the spirit and a
final redemption.
ABOVE OUR UNDERSTANDING.
Miracle Are Nat the Interruption of Nat
ural, Ijutt, bat a Manifestation We Do
Not ''Comprehend Biblical Stories Are
Allegorical and Ferbaps Clalrvornar.
First I believe in a Supreme Will, which
maintains the universe in order and intelli
gently brings out results. If there was no
supernatural, or perhaps to speak more pre
cisely, no superior natural, I cannot under
stand or even suppose that any natural world
would exist. Nature makes no laws, but
passively receives and operates according to
force and energy in, by and upon her. Every
creature, plant, animal and doubtless earth,
mineral, metal and other material subsists
by virtue of its inhering life; and certainly
the life is prior and superior to that which
it sustains. All life is one essentially, and
includes in its scope the energies which per
vade and operate upon nature. These ener
gies may and often do operate after modes
above our power of perceiving, causing mar
velous things to take place which science
cannot account for, and for that reason are
superciliously denied or an honest acknowl
edgement evaded. With this explanation, I
reply that I do believe in miracles; that
they have always existed in this natural
world, and will continue to exist.
Second The wonderful occurrences men
tioned in the Old and New Testaments are
essentially religious legend rather than his
toric narrative. The Apostle Paul repre
sents many of the accounts as allegoric,
typical, figurative, symbolic. We shall be
reasonably safe if we bear in mind that all
religions have sacred books, which will be
found upon candid examination and an in
telligent comprehending of their ulterior
meaning, to relate to the spiritual career of
man and his intimate connection with the
superior powers. Believing this to be the
key, I respect them all as I apprehend
their merits.
FOUNDED ON MYTHOLOGY.
The book of Jndges is probably tbe oldest
of the collection known as the Old Testa
ment It can hardly take higher rank.Tiow
ever, than as a group of legends, traditions
and lolK-iore, wnicb may not be scrutinized
too critically. What little is known ot co
temporary history, if we may make any ac
count of chronology, disposes pretty effectu
ally of any historic pretensions. Indeed the
book ot Joshua narrates the conquest of
numerous kings and cities that other books
indicate as never conquered. The accounts
of the "greater prophet.," Samuel, Elijah
and Elisha, arc more significant in relation
to the matter under consideration. Tbe story
of Samuel is apparently a reflection or that
of Samson. The names have a simi
lar meaning, and both are nazirs, or conse
crated, from their birth. One was the
"SamSs, or Sun, whom Da-Lila, or Lillth,
the .Night yueen, overcame; the other set up
and deposed Saul, or Sheol, the Lord of
Darkness, nlacing in his power David, or
Dud, the Eros, or Adonis, of the coming
day. David and Eros have the same mean
ing. Nevertheless, that Samuel, while
Judge and Chief . Magistrate of Israel,
should not he known by Saul and his
servant in that capacity, but only aa a seer
who might be consulted about lost animals,
indicates a levity in story telling that shows
the tale to be untrue. There arc so many
palpable contradictions in the accounts of
this personage, as the records read, that we
must discard all or most of them as veracious
history.
The encounter between Elijah and tbe
prophets ot the Tyrian Baal, or Bacchus, is
evidently a disguised account of the cele
bration of the Adonis worship of Pncenicia.
The account of Moses is of an analogous
character. On Mt Sinai had been "holy
ground," consecrated from the time of the
first monarchy in Egypt Moses, having
been adopted into the sacerdotal tribe of
Kenitef, repaired thither, and was inducted
into higher mysteries. The luminous tree,
or "burning bush," from which came the
voice, was part of the paraphernalia. The
care in which Elijah abode may remind us
of the mystic Sekos at Eleusis and the
initiatory caves of Mithras. The portents
were analogous, but Elijah is represented as
excelling others. His apocalypse was not
by a wind like Job's, by earthquake as with
the Israelites at Sinai, bv fire like Ezekiel.
but by Toice like Hoiet, Thoie who are
skilled in the Grecian and other ancient ob
servances can easily perceive the analysis.
MESMERIC OK CLAIBVOYANT.
The prophet Elisha is described with a
career full of marvels, apparently of the
mesmeric and spiritualistic order. He
sweetened brackish waters with salt, and
when some boys rail at his bald or tonsured
bead he curses them and tbey are torn by
bears. The accounts of increasing the
widow's oil, feeding a hundred men with 20
cakes of bread, are probably legendary. I
do not credit them as literal.'nor will I sneer
J at them. There is probably some meaning
behind which will explain their purport
The episode of the Shunamite woman's son
is more transparent The prophet com
mands his servant to go forward,
neither salnting any one nor answer
ing a salutation, and to lay his staff
on the face of the sunstrnck child. This is
parallel to the direction of Jesus, to "salute
no man bv the way." In snch case there will
be a parting with energy and spiritual force
which is required at the opportune moment
Many persons around a speaker often draw
away his vitality. The servant fails, the
magic staffof the prophet does not recall the
child from apparent death. Then the
prophet goes himself. The child lies in his
room, and he enters it alone, that no one
may drain him of the required akasa-lorce.
He lies down by the child in close contact,
mouth upon mouth, eyes to eyes, hands
joined to hands, and the whole body in most
intimate nearness. "And the flesh of the
child waxed warm." He then rises
up and walks the honse; then re
turning, lies down again on the body, "And
the child sneezed seven times, and the child
opened his eyes." The healing of Naaman,
the Syrian General, of leprosy is in tbe same
category. He, too, believes in healing by
the magic touch. "I thought," says he,
"he will surely come out to me, and fix his
eyes on me, and call on the name of Yava,
his god, and put forth his hand over the
diseased spot and take away the leprosy."
This is evidently mesmeric manipulation,
or perhaps massage, not to say outright
"mindcure." In the further account of
Gehazi, the prophet's servant, there is dis
tinct clairvoyance, like that exhibited by
Miss Fancher, of Brooklyn.
POSSIBLE PHYSICAL EXPLANATION.
Elisha is also recorded as causing an iron
ax to float upon the water. To explain this
would require a superior knowledge of
nature. Gravitation we may regard as a
form of polarity. Bodies positive and nega
tive to each otberwill have a mutual attrac
tion, while those of like polarity repel each
other. If the prophet had the occult power
to change the magnetic condition of the
metal he could make it float Perhaps the
rapid darting upward of birds may be ex
plained by this power of reversing their
polarity Jesus is recorded as walking on
a lake on a stormy night, and Iamblichus,
the philosopher, tells us ot persons who
were elevated above the ground and moved
in the air. I am not willing to dismiss these
stories with the arrogant denial that these
things ever happened. The wonders
recorded of Jesus are of liKe
nature to those credited to the Hebrew
prophets. We are informed that
he healed persons from a distance. Perhaps
this is no more marvelous than Elisha dis
closing the secret designs of the King, Ben
Hada. The gospels explain how these cures
were effected. Those who received or pro
cured them are described as haying "great
laith." while as to Jesus Himself, "virtue,"
or dynamic force,"went out from him," even
when He put forth no conscious volition or
energy. The mind world, whatever it is,
has its own atmosphere, with laws analo
gous to those ot physical nature. As sound
will pass on the telephonic wire or the ray
of light, so vital force mayfpass from one to
another in the mental atmosphere without
regard to distance by the medium afforded
by a concentrated will and a receptive tem
per of mind.
Third I do not believe that such men as
Houdin, Heller and other adepts in legerdo
main can "duplicate or equal the ancient
marvels." But that these "ancient mar
vels" can be duplicated, and perhaps sur
passed, I do confidently and reverently be
lieve. Alexander Wilder.
Editor of the Kademe.
SIMPLI CN'iCXrLAINABLE.
Miracles Are What We Connor, bnt May
Some Time Understnnd.
First Webster defines a miracle as "an
event or effect contrary to the established
constitution and course of things, or a devia
tion from the known laws of nature." That
an event or effect ever occurred contrary to
the established constitution and course of
things I do not believe. On the other hand,
phenomena are constantly occurring which
are deviations from the known laws of na
ture. All forms of mesmerism, hypnotism,
telepathy, psychometry, psycography and
psychic vision come under this head. At
the best, we can only regard a miracle as an
unexplainable occurrence. The firing of a
cannon would be to a savage who knew
nothing of powder or guns a miracle. The
wiser a people become the less they can be
imposed upon by miracles.
Second So far as human intelligence is a
guide it seems reasonable to assert that a
large percentage of the miracles ot the
Bible never occurred, except in the im
agination of the writers of these stories.
Take, for instance, the statement that at
the command of Joshua, in the name of
the Lord, "the sun stood still, and the
moon stayed until the people avenged
themselves upon their enemies." If tbe
writer of this miracle had known even a
little of astronomy he probably would
have killed off the enemies of Joshua's
people in some manner not so likely to
be a fatal strain upon the faith of any one
who wishes to believe the story, but
at the same time understands tbe dire
effects that such a staying of the moon and
sun would cause throughout the entire
planetary system. Many of the Old Testa
ment miracles are plainly symbols of natnral
truths, more or less of an occult nature.
This seems also to be true of some of the
statements of wonderful, phenomena in the
New Testament. Yet if Jesus was the
master that his disciples declare, it cannot
be denied that much of tbe phenomena de
scribed as His miracles iu reality may have
been worked by him.
Third Anything that was possible 1,000
or 5,000 years ago, so ar as the production
of "miracles" is concerned, is equally as
possible to-day.
John Bansoji Bbidge,
President of the Boston Theosophio Society.
A CAUSE FOR ETERI ETKNT.
Kellar Maintains That Christianity Is a New
Form of Solnr Worship.
First No. Ibelieve there isanaturalcaute
for every evcnt.although we may be ignorant
often of the cause of the phenomenon. As
we all have a grain of superstition in our
nature we are prone to ascribe to some
supernatural power things that we do not
understand.
Second My opinion is that Christianity
is a new form of solar worship; that Christ
is a sun god, and that all the miracles
ascribed to Him in the New Testament
are merely a history of natnral events
veiled in allegory, caused by the sun's
action on the earth. For instance, the
changing of water into wine is the trans
formation by the sun's warmth of the
waters of January info the grapes of
September; the changing the five small
loaves into sufficient to feed 5,000, and
when they had all eaten there remained
fragments sufficient to fill 12 baskets, is
a miracle performed annually by tbe sun
when his rays fecundate the "earth and
change the grains sown by the husband
man into the antumnal harvests. Christ's
death and burial, and his resurrection on
the third day, is in my opinion allegorical
of the winter solstice, when . the sun ii
further south and apparently stands still as
far ai his north and southward motion is
concerned for about three days, before he
tarts on his northern coarse again and rises
toward the zenith of his-glory. There are
many reasons for believing that Christ was
the sun personified; He was born on the
otn or .December, when the new sun is
born; Christ was ushered in by John the
Baptist, who baptiMd with w.Urj ta( Mv
J
un is also ushered in by Janus, or Janarius
(January), and the sign of January is the
waterman. Christ had 12 apostles; the
sun passes through the 12 signs of the
zodiac. One of the apostles was a doubter;
his name was Thomas, also called Didemni,
which being interpreted means a twin; tha
doubtine stars in the zodiac are called tha
twins. Eegarding the miracles of Moiei,
some of them now take place every year.
The changing the waters of the Nile into
blood occurs every season; when the waters
rise they turn to blood red, caused by tha
flood washing down the red mud from tha
upper countries.
Kellab, the Magician.
THE HIEACLES OP T0-DAT.
Wanders la a Great Chorea as Benurkabla
as Those of Olden Timet.
First I confess that many of them are
incredible, but, then, so are the miracle
that happen to-day. Tho Soman Catholio
church has always cultivated the mystic and
the occult, just as the prophets and disciplei
of old were wont to do, consequently mira
cles are ot constant occurrence in Catholio
countries. The phenomena connected with
the grotto ot Lonrdes, tbe annual liquefac
tion of the blood of San Tennaro, in
Naples, are two noteworthy instances of
this fact. The Catholic church will not
admit that any person having be
longed to it is worthy of canonization
until he or she has performed a prescribed
number of miracles. But who ever heard
of miracles among bine Presbyterians, or
Methodists, or Protestants generally? Tha
miracles performed in Boman Catholio
countries at the present time are fully as
wonderful as any that are recorded in tha
Bible, and for my part it is just as easy to
believe that the Virgin Mary appears to a
lot of French peasants and instructs them
as to the proper method of glorifying her
divinity; or that the miracle of the transub
stantiation is a fact, as to believe that Christ
walked upon the sea, or turned water into
wine. If we admit the possibility of ona
miracle, we admit the possibility of 20,000.
Second Modern magicians are quite capa
ble of duplicating, or, at least, equaling
these extraordinary feats. There are persons
whom we all recognize as being endowed
with exceptionally fine perception and a
wonderful sensibility. Now.fbllowingstrictly
the law of natural selection, it is possible
that in the course of centuries this receptiv
ity andhighly cultivated intuitive knowl
edge might be evoked into we know not
what marvelous capability. And if, as wa
are told in the New Testament, faith can re
move mountains, faith might eventually fill
Mme. Blavatsky's cash drawer, as she
claims, with money whenever she needs it
Marquise di Lanza.
CAN'T BUSPEND NATURAL LAWS.
Miracles Either Did Not Occur or Mast flavt
Been Misunderstood.
1 I do not believe there is or ever has
been such a thing as a miracle in the vnlgar
sense of the word, as something out of or
contrary to the established course of nature.
There is no room for the supernatural or tha
miraculous in the schedule of things which
any sound, sane mind can conceive. If I
should see one arise from the dead I should
suppose that either he had not quite died, or
else that his arising was an entirely reason
able, natural, proper and indeed necessary
event I do, indeed, know that many things
considered by the ignorant as miracles, and
cherished as such by designing persons for
purposes of their own, happen in the shad
owy border-land between mind and matter.
But I am bound as a scientist to consider
them as natural as any other occurrences, to
study, investigate and explain them to tha
best of my ability.
2 Our traditional alleged miracles are
the inventions, lies and forgeries of
priestcraft for theocratic purposes;partIy tha
myths which grow out of the honest delu
sions of unlearned populaces; bnt they
mostly have a high and true meaning, as
allegories, parables, or veiled representa
tions of possible or actual events.
3 Lknowfhat the same spiritual powers
and occult forces which have formerly
proved adequate to the production of phe
nomena miscalled miraculous are operative
to-day. Natnral magic, or practical occult
ism, is a science which may be studied and
an art which may be practiced. But it
is always easier to produce a spurious or
counterfeit marvel, by some dextrous tricks,
than to cause a genuine manifestation of
psychical effects.
Pkof. Eliot Cotjes.
PALPABLE DECEPTIONS.
A Rnther Uncomplimentary View of the He
Melons History or the World.
First As I understand a miracle to ba
the occurrence or performance of an impos
sibility, I certainly do not believe such a
thing has ever taken place, and of course
this means the total disbelief in many so-
called holy things. The elder Disraeli, in
his "Curiosities of Literature," dryly de
scribes the thousand and one instances of
deception and the manufacture of spurious
relics, mentioning in particular the Glou
cestershire miracle of tbe blood of Christ,
which was visible only to those who were
not in mortal sin. It turned out to be tha
blood of a duck, which was contained in a
vial having one side opaque and the other
side transparent, and the monk upon whom
devolved the duty of showman, turned tha
side he thought desirable to the pilgrims,
being governed somewhat by the size of tha
offerings made by the latter.
The religious history of the Middle Ages is
so full of these instances of trickery that
there ii usually no difficulty in divesting tha
so-called miracles of their supernatural sig
nificance. Personally I believe there are no
miracles that cannot be repeated or ex
plained in these days of the telephone and
phonograph. I can very easily imagine
how a person in a state of religious enthu
siasm, which borders on insanity, can be
lieve in a communication from heaven, and
I see sttch cases every day.
Dr. Allan McLane Hamiltoit.
A Flock of New Parties.
New York World .1
The Bellaniyites nominated a State ticket
in Bhode Island, which was voted on last
week. The Ibsenites think of organizing a
political party in Massachusetts, while tha
Laura Jean Libbeyites may decide to
nominate a Presidental candidate in 1893.
FHOTCCTEODUSTRY
r-r-st
" XoOtrr. Cam m out of the snow. TooH tA
faar death of cold tram wet feet
Children. Mother, ocr shoes cant est wet; yea
Janet that ws hare
WolffsflilEBIacking
on them, and water cant so throng.
OIL CI nTHSr8If,1,lT,lai1 wear cot bnt
wUhontthelaborotacTubblazlananshixnry. Ws
will tell tot how an outlay ox 8L0O will obtain it
and still ths floor wont loot painted, rjn
ASA,VxTftts:: rr nr.
WOLFF RANDOLPH, Phlladelpbla.
Atk s Dnj, Faint oni Bow TrntlMmg SUrrm.
I - '
ymmmrmmtimtimm&M