THE PITTSBURG DISPATCH, SUNDAY, MARCH 16, 1890.'
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AHLISHED FEBRUARY 8, 1848,
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AN ALLEGED LABOR CONFERENCE.
The opening of the Labor conference at
Berlin yesterday was attended by formali
ties and speeches which were mainly char
acterized by glittering generalities. Never
theless the beginning of that assemblage is
sufficient to suggest doubts as to its pro
ducing anything of value to the laboring
people of Europe.
If such a meeting were held with the sin
cere and controlling motive of securing to
the laboring class a greater share of produc
tion and relieving them of their burdens it
would deserve the sympathy of civilization.
The first decision of such a bod is so plain
that a conference would hardly be needed to
arrive at it. It would be the decision of all
the Powers to disarm and relieve production
of the immense burdens of great armaments.
The second decision would be equally clear,
namely, the abolition of all special privi
leges, either in commerce, taxation or Gov
ernment. But neither of these steps would be at all
satisfactory to the ruling powers of Europe.
When we find the opening speech of the
representative of the German Emperor,
setting forth the problem, not how to elevate
the condition of labor, but how to keep the
labor question from disturbing the European
Governments, the doubt as to the sincerity of
the professed interest in labor is justified.
That .kK is strengthened by the very
slight indication, in the report that the
membership of the conference is composed
of anything bnt the governing classes.
A la'nr conference in which labor is not
represented, and the purpose of which is to
prevent labor from making any trouble,
would justify a paraphrase of Mme. Roland's
declaration in the words, "Oh labor, what
shams are perpetrated in thy name!"
A CHURCH QUARREL.
The conviction of Bev. K. B. Msnsell, of
McKeesport, in the church trial which was
ended yesterday, is the termination of a case
which can hardly be regarded as calculated
to reflect credit on the cause of the churches.
The province of the press hardly extends to
sifting the evidence in order to establish an
opinion as to the justice of the verdict; but
it is pertinent to point out that the allega
tions and circumstances are such as to show
that an exercise of the Christian charity and
forbearance which should prevail in the
churches would have forbidden any such
bitter quarrel. As it now is, the quarrel
will doubtless be continued and the counter
charges will go on, with each party asserting
conduct on the part of the other wholly in
consistent with their Christian professions.
While we must recognize that clergymen
and church members are human, it certainly
seems necessary to say that in this case the
toleration and good will necessary to all
organized work seem to be conspicuous by
their absence.
TEE SENATORIAL HAT.
The action of the Senate last week in
passing a resolution to expunge Senator
Call's interpolation into the report of his
remarks in the Congressional Record, of a
savage assault on Sir. Cnandler, which he
did not actually make, has several peculiar
and amusing aspects.
The controlling principle in all this mat
ter is the Senatorial idea that when that
lofty body says that a thing is or is not so,
that settles it, no matter what the fact may
be. That idea extends to more things than
the publication of the Record. It is nota
ble in the enactment that the executive
sessions of the Senate shall be secret. Al
though the Senators themselves straight
way go and tell what is done, still they
hold that when the Senate says that it is
secret, their little indiscretions in the way
of telling the secrets makes no essential
difference with the secrecy. But the practi
cal application ot the same idea, elaborated
by Gilbert in "The Mikado," appears to a
. delightfully complicated degree, in this
matter of the Congressional Record.
In the first place it starts with the publi
cation of speeches never delivered. It
makes no difference whether the speeches
are, or are not, actually delivered. "When
the high authority of the Senate manilested
in its weighty publication weighing sever
al tons per diem declares it is so, that
settles it. This being established, it is not
singular that Senator Call imagined that by
making that official publication assert that
he jumped on Senator Chandler with both
feet, it would place the matter beyond dis
pute. But the Senatorial method of correct
ing this undue application of its own
principle caps the climix. It resolves that
the interpolated matter shall be expunged;
and therefore it is expunged. It is no mat
ter that the Congressional Record contain
ing the speech was published and circulated
some weeks ago, and that every one who has
eo little retard for the value of time as to
read that publication, has absorbed the
Florida Senator's factitious thnnder. The
high authority of the Senate declares that
all this primed matter shall dissolve to
nothingness. Consequently the printed tons
of official ponderosity are annihilated.
This is so beautiful a theory that the sug-
gestions of the press to confine the Con
gressional Record to the report of what is
actually said, are wholly beside the mark.
How can the Senate be expected to come
down from its lofty attitude of declaring
that its fiat settles questions of existence and
non-existence, to a sublunary and limited
theory that its authority can only state
things as they actually are, and must con
fine itself to the groveling rules of common
sense?
THE PREVALENCE OF CRIME.
A criminal epidemic is raging at present,
to judge from the rapidity with which cases
are cropping out in the local reports. This
issue of The Dispatch has to report the
cae of a prominent citizen of the Soutbside,
who has anticipated the discovery of his
forgeries by leaving the town; the murder
of a little girl by a cranky and presumably
insane stepfather, and a poisoning case in
which suspicion is directed to the husband
of the victim.
Each of these cases presents features
whose sensationalism is of the disturbing
character; and suggests the inquiry whether
any explanation is possible of the prevalence
of crimes. Some time ago, when there had
been an alarming frequency of crimes dur
ing the summer months, a theory was de
veloped that crimes were caused by the hot
weather. Bnt as the present outbreak
occurs during the only winter weather we
have had this year, the same sort of logic
would indicate that they are produced by a
low temperature. If crimes are produced
both by torrid and arctic weather, the out
look for humanity in the alternations of this
climate is very gloomy.
It wll be more satisfactory to regard the
two specimens of inductive research as dis
proving each other. But that leaves the
problem still unsolved.
THE USE OF FREE LIBRARIES.
A special contributor elsewhere makes a
detailed statement of his grounds for oppo
sition to the Carnegie Library project. It
hardly need be said that the views expressed
there are directly opposed to those of The
D ispatcii; but as an example ot what can
be said in dissent, the communication is
interesting and may not be wholly without
iustructiveness.
The basis of our correspondent's opposi
tion is that the free libraries will not be
beneficial to the people, and therefore it is
unjust to levy the tax required to keep them
up. But this is not only begging the whole
question; it is ignoring the testimony of
experience that wherever free libraries are
kept up they are of the widest benefit and
are universally used. This testimony comes
from Boston, New York, Baltimore, Cleve
land, Detroit and Chicago, and a score of
cities in foreign countries. Even in this
city where the example of the struggling
Mercantile Library is cited as a failure,
a moderately careful study of what it
actually does, would prove the con
trary. In proportion to the very few
thousand dollars of extraneous assistance
received by that institution during its thirty
years' operation, its wort in spreading the
benefit of general reading has been no slight
matter; and its usefulness is attested by the
150 to 200 readers who visit it daily at the
very time when people who do not take the
trouble to investigate the matter are pro
claiming its failure.
The same tendency to prejudge the whole
matter, shown in the declaration of the use
lessness of free libraries when the testimony
of experience shows their value, appears in
the assertion that a tax cannot be legally
levied for their support. This ignores the
fact that the authority to do so has been ex
erted without question for years, not only in
cities of other States, such as Boston, Cleve
land and Detroit, but in no more remote a
locality than the city of Allegheny, where a
public library has been maintained by taxa
tion for many years. The public usefulness
of centers of general information, where the
right of the humblest and poorest citizen is
made bv the very act of taxation as good as
that of the richest and most powerful, is un
questionably a sufficient ground for the
public support.
It is a singular illustration of the incon
sistencies which preconceived ideas can
produce, that while our correspondent cnt
cises Mr. Carnegie's gift because he does
not think its benefits will be widely dis
tributed, he thinks that the gift which
ought to have been made is the foundation
of a polytechnical school, the benefits of
which would, by his own statement, be con
fined to a few hundred pupils. That
such an institution would be of value to
Pittsburg no one will deny; and perhaps
Mr. Carnegie's example m3y stimulate other
wealthy citizens to found it. But to allege
that it will be more useful than the institu
tion' which will place the means of culture
derived from general reading within the
reach of hundreds of thousands, is to com
mit the mathematical absurdity of suppos
ing the whole to be less important than one
of its parts.
One point, however, is worthy of atten
tion. That is the intimation that such an
institution will become the especial property
of the wealthy and fashionable, and that
working people will find themselves unwel
come theie. The plan of the institution is
devised especially to prevent such a mis
fortune. It is to be believed that those in
charge of it will carry out that plan in good
faith. The appearance of such a criticism
at this early day should make them careful
to avoid any act which will look like
removing the benefits of the institution
lrom the common people.
THE REGULAR COURSE.
The Cherokee strip furnishes a reproduc
tion of the Oklahoma experience. First,
the land is occupied by the cattle barons,
whose tendency to squat on any territory
without legal right, is not at all abated by
the fact that after they have enjoyed several
years of pasturage, the Government very
tardily comes to the conclusion to order
them off. No sooner are they forced to
vacate than the boomer makes a rush for
the land, invariably before there is any
legal right to do so. The fact that the
national authority is always exerted to re
move the boomers from the land they at
tempt to grab, does not at all deter
them from repeating the grabbing act
on the next opportunity. One might wish
for a little variation of the monotony
of these proceedings, but they are at least in
structive of the lesson, that both cattle com
panies and squatters are equally hungry for
any land they can get t their claims on, re
gardless of legal right or the authority of
the Government.
USURY IH THE WEST.
The complaints as to usurious interest,
especially in the Far West, are multiply
ing, and some of them are accompanied
with specifications that seem to justify
fault-finding. One case is reported to be
that of a sober and industrious man in
South Dakota, who, being in need of ready
money, gave a note for 535, on which he re
ceived 50, and, after paying $51 30 in in
terest in thirteen months, without getting
any deduction from the principal, gave up
the struggle and blew oat his brains in
despair.
The case looks like a hard one, but it
nevertheless illustrates the law that such
cases of usurious interest are only possible
where the ignorance, or the recklessness, o'
the borrower makes the hazard great. No
doubt the money-lender who exacted such
a rate oi interest was a remorseless shark.
But the event proves that he was right in
his calculation that he must exact a high
rate in order to balance the risk of the loan;
and the result is that he has, by that rate,
got back his principal with $1 30 interest
for the thirteen months. The man who blew
out his brains because he could not pay such
a debt, is certainly so far ont of the ordinary
class, that he cannot be regarded as a relia
ble debtor.
We hope that things are not so bad out
West that reliable men cannot get necessary
loans at decent rates of interest. If any
such rates as are reported prevail on re
spectable security, there is lots of capital in
the East for that investment.
If Senator Stanford can cet liberty for
the farmers to put as much water into the
mortgages he proposes for their relief as has
been put into Senator Stanford's railroads, the
farmers might have a good thing, when some
ono i5 found who will pay for the inflated
values.
The organization of the Allegheny Car
negie Library having progressea nearly to the
point where It will be necessary to elect a
librarian, candidates for that useful and honor
able, position are coming forward. Among
them tho name of Mr. Erasmus Wilson, for
merly of The Dispatch, is prominently men
tioned. Mr. Wilson won his newspaper repu
tation by the treatment of topics of c urrent in
terest in an unconventional manner which
brought them close to the popular apprehen
sion. The same qualities would be likely to
prove valuable in methods of bringing literary
subjects within the reach of the people and
stimulating popular interest in them. Mr.
Wilson's many friends in the newspaper pro
fession would bo glad to congratulate him, if
he should be selected to that important poet.
It is'pleasant to observe that we have had
one grand jury which attended to its business
promptly and won the approval of the Court.
This is such a degree of progress as to raise a
hope that in time the Court will be able to get
constables to return all the speak-easies.
The price of Bio coffee is going up. It is
asserted by the trade that neither the manipu
lation of a corner nor the monopolyof a trust is
producing this result, but the scarcity pro
duced by short crops for three years past. If
this is the case and the assertion appears to
be well corroborated the advance in the price
of that food staple is simply one of the hard
ships for which no one is to blame. That is a
very different matter from the cases where the
cost of life for the masses is enhanced for the
benefit of a combination.
Hardly any better investment for the
welfare of the coming generation can be made
than a subscription to the fund for the News
boys' Home. A very few dollars spent on these
little street arabs will yield rich returns of im
proved manhood in the future.
One of the beauties of machine politics
is presented by the spectacle of two deputy
sheriffs of New York, who are accused of sell
ing extraordinary privileges to prisoners con
fined in jail, presenting their resignations to a
sheriff who is on trial for fixing up a court to
present him with a bogus divorce. When the
differences between the officers of the law are
only in the variety of the corruption and in
justice which they perpetrate, there is need lor
very radical reform.
The statement that Miss Marie Prescott
has lost her divorce suit because she did not
know where she lived, is a slight offset for the
large number of people who have won divorce
suits by being able to swear that they lived in
any place that was convenient.
It is somewhat aside of the mark for some
of onr cotemporaries to warn the Tory critics
ot Lord Randolph Churchill that they are
scarcely safe to abuse him lest he be provoked
to retort in his well-known and pointed man
ner. A consideration ot the last speech of the
young Tory Democrat will show that thev can
not piovoke him to do more in that lino than
he has already done: and that they are now
doing their ineffectual best to get even.
The Vesuvius has now demonstrated her
ability to slmg dynamite out at sea with the
same reckless prodigality that has been shown
en land. Foreign nations will please take
notice and abstain from knocking any chips off
our shoulders.
We are surprised to observe the Demo
cratic New York Times criticising the act of
the Hon. Bahv McKee, in setting off the White
House fire alarm when there was no fire, as
'a criminal proceeding." The natural expec
tation would be that the Democrats would re
gard the young McKee's act as doing tho best
he could to raise an alarm over the policy of
the Republicans in Congress.
Let us hope that the mountain of tariff
revision and surplus reduction labor will bring
forth something more than tho rtdiculus mus
of a slight deficit.
The horrible case of child slaughter in
Allegheny yesterday can be dismissed as a case
of sudden insanity. With the lunacy of the
slayer established beyond doubt immediately
after the killing, it is not consistent with the
credit of human nature to suppose that so pur
poseless a crime could have been committed
before the lunatic had lost bis mental balance.
If Maine can ship us ice at prices within
the reach of modest purses it will be a gratify
ing evidence that that far-eastern State can
furnish the rest of the nation with something
more than building stone and statesmen.
"Is religion a failure," is the question
raised by the Christian Union, which sajs that
the daily newspapers are inclined to answer
the question In the affirmative. This is an
error. There is no general tendency to assert
that religion is a failure; but a wide impression
prevails that some of the people who make em
phatic professions of it, are gross failures. .
The fellows who use dishouest means to
get money In small amounts are being found
out rapidly. Only wholesale dishonesty, on the
scale of millions, rises superior to the adage
that honesty is the best policy.
Now WE hear that a five-cent fare from
Hazelwood to the city over the new electric
line is a foregone conclnsion. The era of cheap
transit rates is coming so rapidly that we may
soon expect tho day of cheaper rates for the
shorter distances, by sales of ticket books or
commutation tickets.
"With the Australian system provided for
the whole country, by act of Congress, the ex
pectation that corruption will be wiped out of
politics will be permitted until experience
proves the contrary.
Judge Hilton is stated to have bought
the Stewart property at the corner of Broad
way and Ninth street. Did he sell it to himself
according to the approved methods of corporate
millionaires? If so It would be an interesting
matter to learn what was the cash considera
tion he gave for it
A NATUBAI. gas line to the Westview oil
field will, we hope, be the precursor of an oil
pipe line to bring a large product from that
field to Pittsburg refineries.
The great coal strike in England does not
seem likely to make the cost of manufacturing
English iron any cheaper in the near future.
The struggle, therefore, if maintained for any
length of time, may prove more beneficial to
the American iron industry than to the English
workingman.
THE TOPICAL TALKER.
A Scene From Life In a Suburban School
roomSandy Had Bis Way FIttsbnrs
nnd Ifao Great Eastern Insurance Com
panies A Bnid-Hcaded Joke Tho De
mand for Gilbei t nnd Sullivan's Works.
LIE had committed some high crime or mis
demeanor against the dignity ot his pre
ceptor and tho peace and propriety of her do
main, and the sentence was that he should
stand apart from his fellows for a certain space
of time in a conspicuous place, -the criminal
of ten summers, more or les, took his stand,
therefore, in the spot designated, beside the
blackboard in a corner of tho room. The
board stood at an angle which made its face
visible to the scholars but hid it from tho
teacher. Tins fact the young scapegrace soon
observed, and as an expression of his feelings
and lawless contempt for the government he
wrote upon the blackboard in good big letters
this express ivo monosyllable:
Dak.
Toe class broke into smiles and titters at
once. The teacher at a loss for the cause of
this new disturbance looked at the prisoner in
the pillory. Ho was solemn as to visage, still
and composed. For a moment the teacher
turned to 1 er hook again. In this interval the
incorrigible youth by the blackboard rapidly
calculated what course events were likely to
take. If he rubbed out the obnoxious w ord, he
reasoned, someone in the class would bo sure
to rei eal to the teacher what it had been. The
laughter of the children was growing more
boisterous every second; discovery of tho in
scription was inevitable any moment. He de
cided at once, and added two words to the
original legend, so that when tho teacher ex
amined the board a moment later she read this
harmless sentence:
The Conrt guessed what jugglery had taken
place, but upon the evidence there was no way
to convict the prisoner of contempt. But the
Court had a fearful struggle to keep a straight
face.
...
TLT E. James Stevenson, the well-known in
surance man, laughs when ne tells of an
encounter he had with Bonny Scotland t'other
day.
Mr. Stevenson was crossing a street down
down, and when he was half over a big fair
skinned Scot, evidently just arrived from his
native heath, met him face to face. Mr. Ste
venson was on the right side of the crossing,
and he didn't feel called upon to givo way. He
glared at the Highlander and the Highlander
glared at him. Then the latter said sharply:
"Ihe right o' way, please sir!" and Mr. Ste
venson, taken aback by the sheer coolness of
his opponent, stepped aside.
No doubt Sandy felt that he had but insisted
on a right, for while hero pedestrians take the
right on the sidewalk, in Scotland they give the
right or take the left.
...
TT is acknowledged freely by insurance men
that Pittsburg is one of the best fields they
have in this country, and the amount of money
that tho great Eastern insurance companies
take out of Pittsburg pockets in premiums
every ear would make Pittsburgers stare if
they saw the figures.
A concerted movements understand, is being
mado by a number of leading financiers and
businessmen of this city to compel the great
insnrance companies to put some of the money
they get out of Pittsburg Into city improve
ments here. Tho insurance companies for
some incomprehensible reason have never fa
vored Pittsburg investments. No great build
ings attest the presence of insurance capital
on our streets. The insurance magnates pre
fer to adorn Minneapolis with mercantile
palaces, to go even further West and sow the
golden seed they reap from Pittsburg in the
ctassic avennes of Red Cow, Minnesota, or
Liar's Gulch, Wash. They are eager to
buy real estate in Western towns at
any sort of prices, hut they decline to
look at Pittsburg property at alL I know of a
case in point. Three or four years ago a piece
of property on Fifth avenue was offered to a
New York Insurance Company at a price which
would have netted the latter, had the salo been
made, about 51,500 a foot front to-day. But the
New York men said that the price was too
high. They are saying the same to-day.
To a man not in the insurance business this
avoidance of Pittsburg, the contempt for its
wealth, and ingratitude for its premiums, seem
idiotio from a simple business standpoint. The
interest of tho companies themselves, one
would think, would prompt them to invest some
of their funds in Pittsburg. It is not surpris
ing that a protest against such discrimination
against Pitt sburg is going up on all sides. Yes
terday I talked with several wealthy and influ
ential men on Fourth avenue, and learned that
unless a change comes over the policy of the
Eastern insurance companies, a retaliatory
campaign will bo inaugurated.
V
T can't quite get that last idea of yours
through my hair," said tho bald-headed
man.
"No?" queried the other man sympathetic
ally, "I guess the Idea IB having a deuce of a
time finding the hair to get through."
"P very time a new Gilbert and Sullivan opera
is given in Pittsburg a chorus arises: "Why
doesn't some first rate comic opera company
play a repertoire of half a dozen Gilbert and
Sullivan operas?" At least a dozen people have
asked ma that very question this week. I can
only repeat the question. There does seem to
be a real and strong desire for the Gilbert and
Sullivan operas, and it is remarkable that one
of the first-class companies, the Bostomans,
the Boston Ideals or McCaull's, has not ven
tured UDon a season of them. In Pittsburg
it is certain an artistic performance say of
"Patience," "Pinafore," "Pirates of Penzance."
'The Sorcerer," "Princess Ida," "The Mikado,"
and "Trial by Jury'1 and one of the later and
less successful operas as a double bill, would
attract great audiences.
Among the men who will pay well to hear
good light opera with a comic vein,the fondness
for Gilbert and Sullivan's joint productions is
very great. THE Dispatch has received
many letters upon this very subject. A revival
of "Patience" and "The Mikado" is promised
here shortly, but what is asked for is a
repertoire containing six or more of the
Gilbert and Sullivan operas.
Hepbubn Johns.
MhN WHO ARE TALKED ABOUT.
President Harbison rarely smokes more
than three cigars a day, it is stated one after
each meal.
William H. Jackson, brother of Governor
Jackson, of Maryland, owns a peach orchard
containing 25,000 trees.
Mbs. Judge Mages, of Pittsburg, accom
panied by ber son, is among the arrivals at the
Stratford, Philadelphia.
Mb. Gladstone's close friend, Lord Gran
ville, has in his gift the Captaincy of Deal
Castle, made vacant by the death of Lord Syd
ney. ME9. Elizabeth Stuart Phelps Ward
will give readings from her own works, includ
ing an unpublished story, in Boston on Tues
day next and the Tuesday after that.
Mr. Whitelaw Reid, American Minister
to France, sailed from Havre for New York
yesterday on the steamer La Champagne. Mr.
Ried goes to New York tor the purpose of ac
companying his wife back to France.
Mrs. TJ. S. Grant leads a very quiet life in
New York. Her eyesight has become poor and
she seldom appears in public, except to drive in
the park. General Sherman is a frequent and
welcome visitor.
Colonel A. H. Rogeks this week got out
writs ot habeas corpus in behalf of several in
mates whom be alleges to be sane, though de
tained as insane subjects in the Ward's Island
(New York) Asylum. This makes 24 such writs
he has taken out.
The car in which Mrs. Harrison's party trav
eled southward had been comfortably fitted up
and the pantry well supplied wtth every imag
inable dainty. The refrigerator, where the
wines and meats were kept, is under the floor in
the forepart of the car.
M. Rouvier, th e French Minister of Finance,
is about to contract a marriage with his niece,
Mile. Cadiot, of Dieppe. M. Rouvier lost hts
first wife about a year ago. She was well known
in the HteraW world as a novelist under the
name of Claude Vignon.
i
.....a........
;
: A watek dam. :
IN HEM0EI OF KELLEY.
Democrats nnd Republicans Alike Euloglzo
Him In the Home.
Washington, March 15. The House to-day
passed its last tribute of respect to the memory
of William D. Kelley, of Pennsylvania. Mr.
O'Neill, of Pennsylvania, was the first speaker.
He related a conversation which he held with
Mr. Kelley a few days before the Christmas
holidays, in the course ot which the latter said:
"My dear, long-time friend, I want to tell you
that I am a dead man; yes, to tell you, but
please do not repeat it to others. Oh," said he,
"if my lite can only be spared until after the
holldajs, how thankful to my God 1 will be. I
so much desire that the shadow of deatn may
not be upon the households of my dear children
and grandchildren to mar their Christmas en
joxments and to darken in my family the
brightness of that f esth e time."
"To me," continued Mr. O'Neill, "the shock
of this, as it were, confidential communication
was terrible. The composure with which be
spoke the words 'I am a dead man' unnerved
me, and I cin never forget them. Soon he took
to the bed from which he was not to rise again.
A devoted wife, sorrowing sons and daughters
cared for and nursed him until the last mo
ment ho was permitted to live. He suffered
greatly at times during these dying days, but
there was no murmuring. He knew that his
end was coming, but he realized that there was
One to whom he could look for eae nnd com
fort in tho passing hours of his trials on earth;
and calling time and again upon the Lord
Jesus Christ, his divine Lord and Savior, and
repeating over and over, by day and by night,
the Lord's Prater, taught him bv hi3 Chr'stiau
mother, he breithed away his life m calmness
and comnosure."
Mr. Holman, of Indiana, and Mr. Bank", of
Massachusetts then touclunglj eulogized the
deceased member. Mr. JIllls, of Texas, bore
testimony to the worth of Mr. Kelley, whom he
characterized as one ot the most di-tinguished
statesmen of the Union. Mr. McRinley, of
Ohio, paid his tributo of respect to tho old
friend for whom, in life, he had had the most
anectionate regard, ana in wnose death an had
lost an honorable associate and wise counsellor
and some a very close and dear friend. No
eulogy could do justice to the dead statesman;
his life work was his highest eulogy, ana what
he wrought for his fellow man and the impress
he had made on the legislation of the country
w onld be his best and most enduring memorial.
His public life had been uncorrupt and uncor
ruptible, and he left to his family and friends
and associates and countrymen the highest of
all honorable titles that of an honest man.
Eulogies were also pronounced by Messrs.
TBiugham, of Pennsvlvania; Wilson, of West
Virginia: Cannon, of Illinois; McKenna, of
California; Reilly, of Pennsylvania; Atkinson,
of Pennsvlvania; Breckinridge, of Kentucky;
Kerr, of Iowa, and Reyburn, of Pennsylvania,
and then as a mark of respect to the memory
of the deceased, the House adjourned.
No Better in Pennsylvania.
From the Bedford Gazette.l
There is no better newspaper in Pennsyl
vania than The Pittsburg Dispatch. Its
Sunday edition is a whole library in itself,
while the circulation of daily and Sunday edi
tions has reached figures never before attained
by a paper west of Philadelphia. In every de
partment The Dispatch approaches close to
perfection. The people want more of it, and
the proprietors find themselves obliged to pur
chase another of Hoe's wonderful perfect
ing presses early in the now year. The Dis
patch is a great newspaper.
THE FIGHT FOR THE FAIR
Does Not Seem to Have Reached an End
Yet. by Any Means.
Washington, March 15. For the first timo
since the House decided the question of the
site, the full committee on the World's Fair
met to-day and received the report of the sub
committee in the shape of a bill providing for
the fair, with amendments to suit the wishes
of the Chicago people. The proceedings were
not entirely harmonious and before the con
clusion of the session it became evident that
tho New York representatives were disposed
to differfrom the sub committee in respect to
the financial scheme and other important de
tails. Mr. Belden offered a resolution to the effect
that it is inexnedlent to adopt a bill on the sub
ject of tho World's Fair until the citv of Chi
cago had furnished a site and a 10,000.000 se
curitv. This resolution was debated at some
length. The friends of Chicago insisted that the
nature of the security required should be spe
cifically defined in the resolution, so that they
could not be compelled at a later stage to fur
nish still otherseennty. Thereupon tho resolu
tion was modified so as to read: "That when a
guarantee fund of 810,000,000 shall be secured
by the citizens of Chicago, the sufficiency and
legality of w bich shall be satisfactory to this
committee, that we report the pending bill
with such amendments as the committee may
agree upon." The debate upon this proposition
was continued until the committee became
weary, and after i o'clock adjourned until
Monday morning.
The Chairman and Messrs. Hitt, Bowden and
Springer expressed themselves as of opinion
that Chicago had already given sufficient guar
antees in the papers presented bv the Chair
man of the Finance Committee of the city of
Chicago: but the New York and St. Louis peo
ple insisted upon having the matter more accu
rately defined.
Accomplished Her Denrest Wish.
From the Washington Times-Star.
There is now no question that Cincinnati,
aftor years of effort to be recognized as tho
musical center, has accomplished hear dearest
wish. At a musicians' convention in that town
recently Baltimore local, No. 17, was excom
municated, expatriated and expelled because it
had employed a musician who had been dis
missed from Pittsburg local, No. 15.
A UNIQUE AFFAIR.
Tho Second Presbyterian Church to be the
Scene of a Chinese Wrildlnzr.
A Chinese wedding that will interest a great
many people will take place at the Second
Presbyterian Church Friday evening. March
28. The title roles will be assumed by Miss
Minnie Howard and Mr. George Herron. They
will be attended at the altar by eight bride
maids. Misses Maud McLain, Kato Foster,
Ada Foster, Lou C. McLain, Vida McCuI
longh, Anna Herron, Margaret Sutherland and
Nellie Backer. Mis Katharcne Howard and
Mr. Howard Wright will act as parents of the
bride, and the minister, or go-betwoen, will be
Virginia McCreery.
Elaborate Chinese costumes will be worn by
all who take part in tho reremony. and appro-
Eriate music will make the entire performance
ighly interesting.
The Lotteries should Go.
From the Oil City Blizzard,!
It is claimed that nearly all the postal clerks
and carriers who become thieves began, by
stealing letters addressed to lottery agents,
which thev know are almost certain to contain
money. The lotteries should go, though it is
just about as profitable for lottery patrons to
have their letters stolen in transit as to reach
their destination.
Pitlsbnrs Ladles to Attend Games.
Prom the Savannah Morning News.J
Twenty young ladies of Pittsburg. Pa., have
formed themselves into a club to attend base
ball games in that city. The membership is
just about the size for two female "nines," and
such enthusiastic admirers of the game will
probably take to the diamond.
WAST AX EIGUT-HOUIt DAT.
Chicago Union Carpenters Issue
Ad.
dress to Their Brethren.
CniCAGO, March 15 The union carpenters
of this city to-day issned a circular, copies of
which will be sent to carpenters' unions all
over the country. It notifies th'o guild that
they propose to demand eight hours work per
day at 40 cents per hour on April 7 next and
that they expect to bo compelled to strike to
get their demand.
They ask tho trado to prevent union car
penters, and, as far as possible, non-union car
penters from coming here to take their places.
It Looks Very Rlnch Like Revision.
From the Baltimore American.!
There are 211 Presbyteries in this country.
Of these, S have voted on the quostion of re
vision 33 favorably and 18 in opposition to any
change. The same proportion. If carried
through the entire Presbyterian membership,
will make the members 2 to 1 for revision.
Fcrhaps, it would be safe to say from tho facts
at hand that such Is about the case.
The Clover Clnb Bnnquet.
On Thursday evening next the famous
"Clover Club." of Philadelphia, will tender a
farewell banqnet to Hon. Charles Emory Smith,
United States Minister to Russia, a member
of the club, at tbo Hotel .Bellevue. There
will be a feast of reason and a how of soul. Mr.
Leonard Wales, of this city, will attend tbe
banquet as the guest of Hon. E. 8. Stuart
President of the Pennsylvania i State League
ot Republican clubs. 1
.AV-i . ,-.Ji.t !,.,. w-i
NATURE LIES TO US,
Things Wo See and Hear Not All What They
Seem A Pons Asinorum Everywhere
Soand bnt n Vibration, Color a Motion
A River That Ran Up.
rWIUTTEN FOB TnK DISPATCH.!
'Thought will out andlanguage is the medium
for its communication; so say grammarians,
and that is, perhaps, as good definition as can
be given. "Language is the medium for the
communication of thought"
In the absence of some medium, as occurs
between persons speaking different languages,
or between civilized and uncivilized people,
much strategy and many devices have to be re
sorted to to start a tram ot thought, which may
be enjoyed in common or alike profitable to
both.
The attempt of Captain John Smith, of
Colonial times, to illustrate the solar system to
the savages by means of a pocket compass,
was not only strategic, enabling him to gam
time, but was also a means and a pretext to put
In motion a train of ideas in the minds of the
crude savages in common with his own; and in
so far as the compass accomnlished that end, it
was a Ian guage symbol.
A Language of Nature.
T stay also cite the case of the English noble
man who registered and took his meals at a
hotel where the head cook was a Chinaman.
Ihe English, as a people, are proverbially
known to be keenly sensitive in the getup of
that which is to constitute their diet Thi3
nobleman had just learned enough of Chinese
cuisine to be somewhat suspicious, and such a
state of mind was a faithful talisman to save
his gastronomy, on more than one occasion,
from the wide range which Chinese cookery
sometimes takes.
On one occasion the cook brought in a large
fuming dish, which appeared, as far at least as
human judgment and foresight could determ
ine, to be a roast duck, temptingly garnished
witn an the savory vegetables or. tne garden
and placed it upon the table, easily accessible
to an tne guests, uur noDieman eyea tne uisn
with an eagerness which indicated a healthy
state of digestion, but as tbe identity of the
dish had not yet been establisned beyond a
reasonable doubt he said to the cook, interrog
atively, while pointing at the dish:
"QuackT" "Quack?"
He was agreeably surprised at the response,
"bow-wow,"
Now. by the definition laid down by gram
marians for our guide. "Quack, quack,"
"bow-wow," as far as it goes, is language, since
it enabled these two parties, having scarcely
anj thing else in common, to hold familiar con
verse. A River Running Up.
A long with the linguistic conventionalities,
which stern necessity invents to bridge
over some chasm met with, in our peregrina
tions through life, I may mention that known
as the side-splitting "bull;" and as a fair sam-
file of geographical obfuscation, will relate the
ollowing taken from our country's history:
Before tbe settlement of Alabama, and while
the State was yet in a Territorial condition, an
expedition was fitted ont to make hydrograph
ic surveys and other explorations of interest to
the National Government The Commission
was not to break the seal of their instructions
until they had entered Mobile Bay. When at
length their destination was reached and the
seal broken, it was found that the chief object
of the expedition was to locate Mobile Bay,
Mobile river and its tributaries, and, particu
larly, to ascertain how far up the principal
tributary, the Tombigbee, ran. This was all
plain and intelligible, except that which related
to the Tombigbee. They had, they thought, al
ready learned enough o'f the general trend of
the rivers to know that tbe latter part of these
instructions, at least, contained a geographical
error. The business of the expedition was,
therefore, suspended until the head of depart
ment at Washington, from whom the instruc
tions emanated, could be conferred with.
A monnted courier was dispatched across the
continent 2,000 miles to bear the important in
telligence to Washington that the Tombigbee
did not run up at all, but on the contrary ran
down, and that the expedition awaited further
instructions.
r That was too much for official dignity. The
further instructions came, but they wero that
the "chief of the expedition should report im
mediately at Washington."
Colleao Boys' Jokes.
JJ early allied to the "bull" is the term known
among stuuen is m college, pons asinorum.
Tbe seniors, when in a frame of mind to enjoy
a little joke, at tbe expense of the freshmen or
sophomores, will introduce some fact or sub
ject for discussion or friendly interchange of
opinion, the truth of which is the opposite of
what appears. Tho latter, being comparatively
unsophisticated and void of suspicion, will, in
all probability, answer according to appear
ances and against the truth. Their position is
then disclosed to them, amid shouts of derision
from the seniors. In this case the truth is said
to be a pons asinorum, or ass's bridge, and
there is implied in the use of the term tbe hint
that in making our debut Into life it may possi
nly have been by the "ass's bridge."
The rising and setting of the sun is a pons
asinorum to everyone who does not under
stand tbe solar system and who, following na
ture's appearances, believes that the snn does
really rise and set. They become accustomed
to nature's assertions and her appearances are
one ana the same thing; and when she says
there is a horse, a tree or mountain, we find it
to be generally about as nature says. And
when she says that the sun rises, moves and
sets she does so with the same emphasis, the
same apparent sincerity as when she tells us
there is a mountain. Again, when it thunders
nature tells us there is great commotion and
noise in the upper sky, and tells it with even
more sincerity than usual; and but few people
to this day doubt her utterances in this state
ment, when, in reality, it is only another pons
asinorum. There is no noise or commotion in
the outside world. The noise Is in our ears.
Something is going on in nature which starts
the drums of the ear to beat tbe "reveille,"
and that is all the sound there is. What it is
that is taking place in nature, or how she af
fects us to produce that impression, we do not
know. But we do know that if there were no
ears there would be no sounds. Sound, being
purely subjective, belongs only to tho body.
Olhcr Little Deceptions.
TN many other ways nature deceives us; and
only by observation and experiment are wo
enabled to entrap her in her lies. When look
ing in a mirror or body of clear water she tells
us there Is a man on the other side; she tempts
us to walk upon tbe beautiful snow, but says
nothing of the treacherous ico she has care
fully concealed beneath. And we would never
bo any wiser were it not that in the sequel we
find our heels where our head onghtto be and
vice versa. She lies to us, when if we look in a
convex mirror, she tells us that we are as fat as
"Falstafl" and In a concave, that we are as
lean as "Cassios.' She lies to ns when she says
a pool of water i3 only two feet deep when in
reality it is six; that a stick standing in water
is bent when we know it to be straight; that a
mountain is only a mile or so away when it is
ten; that a speck of dirt on our eyelash is a
coon on a distant tree; that the grass is green
when we know that no colors exist in nature.
Thus, when wo look at a table painted red,
nature tells us it is red and all the world be
lieves nature in this statement. She tells us it
Is really red and not that the color is a mere
quality which our eyes paint upon it She
tells us also that tbe color is an external verity,
and would be so if there were no eyes to be
hold It
Color Only a Vibration.
"MATURE, in short, gives an external verity
to all the deliverances of tho senses; that
the things seen are red, white, sound, smooth,
hard, soft, sour, sweet just as they impress us.
In all these nature lies, and the truth here, as
before, is simply a pons asinorum. The red
color of the table is only vibration of a certain
length and rapidity, as believed by all scien
tists, which produces upon tho mind tne im
pression of red. If the vibrations were a littlo
slower or faster, as we soe in tbe change,
which colon undergo during tho progress of
the dav, the color would be black or white.
Different kinds of paint produce vibrations of
different length and swiftness and that gives
all the variety of colors seen in nature.
In fine, the farther this subject is pursued
and the deeper nature is probed, tbe more de
ceitful and void of probity she becomes. She
is man's buffoon and man is her jest, and she
seems never to tire of the comic burlesque.
Prof. James M. Peyob.
THE OLD SABBATH.
Sweet Sabbath of the human soul,
We long and wait for thee;
Thy perfect peace, thy pure control,
U'r every land and sea.
Thou know'st no day, the rears were young
AVhen yet thy perfect law
Of liberty and love first sprung
From God without a flaw.
Thou know'st no creed nor race nor time,
But over every hour
Of consecrated life divine
Flows thy immortal power.
As after every labor, kind
Nature brings her rest
To weary hand3 and hearts, eo bind
Thy peace across oar breast.
O, holy Sabbath, born of love
Before the morning stars
Sang In the heav'nly choirs above,
Come, heal the nation's scars.
W.B. Tkorn:
,&m-' 'i'-AA. . W.a.Jo:aaairs,ft,f&.At- ,, -i
ONE OF NATURE'S CURIOSITIES.
A fllyiterloni, Bottomless Lako In Which No
Living Thing Can Survive.
rsraCLU. TELBqBAM TO TOT DISPATCH 1
Birmingham, ala., March 15. 'Devil's
Lake," in Calhoun county, Ala., 70 miles east
of this city, is one of the most remarkable,
natural curiosities to be found in America.
The lake is oval in sbape and covers about four
acres of ground. No vegetation of any kind
grows on its banks and nothing lives In its
waters. Even snakes and terrapins shun tbe
waters of Devil's lake, and fish placed in it die
In a few hours. The water is clear limestone,
with a peculiar taste, which makes it unpalata
ble to man or beast. Horses and cows will not
drink it, no matter how thirsty they may be.
Deep down below the surface of tbe lake
may be keen what appears to be the charred
and blackened trunks of large trees. They
stand upright in tbe water, but have neither
root nor branch and never rise to the surface
or sink to the bottom. The lake has no outlet
and the volume of water in it is tbe same all
tbe time.
A strange fatality attaches to thi3 lake.
Once it was the favorite resort of the boys
of the neighborhood for bathing and
swimming, but now they never go near
It. Fifteen boys have been drowned in
its waters in twice as many years. A
few of the bodies were recovered, but those
who w ere drowned any distance from the banks
sank to tbe bottom and were never brought to
the surface.
The depth of tbe lake has never been ascer
tained, fcoundlngs to a depth of 700 feet found
no bottom, and tho people in the vicinity say
the lake has none. The Indian legend of the
crigm ot the lake is that before tbe white
man came to this country two tribes became
involved In a war, and after a number of
bloody battles the smaller tribe was almost ex
terminated. Then tbe old men and chiefs of
the weak tribe sued for peace and arranged for
a council. While the pipe was being passed
ainund a signal was given and the chiefs of
the strong tribe suddenly sprang up with drawn
tomahawks and murdered every one of the
chiefs of tbe smaller tribe.
Then the war was renewed and carried on
until the weak tribe was exterminated. A few
moons after the massacre of the chiefs a fire
broke ont in the pine forest where the massacre
occurred. The lire burned in this spot for
eight moons and the ground sank down ont of
sight; the fire disappeared, and in its stead ap
peared the lake. The Indians gave the lake a
name which means "lake of death."
Shipping Iron to Pittsburg.
from the Cincinnati Times-Star. 1
Alabama has been shipping iron to Pittsburg,
and Boston florists always send a few carloads
of exotics to New Orleans for the Mardi Gras.
We shall only reach the climax of incongruities
when Pennsylvania competes with Mississippi
as a cotton-growing State, when Florida mo
nopolizes the ice export business and Alaska
raises all the world's oranges.
FEESH LENTEN LOGIC.
SNAP SHOTS FIRED AT POPULAR TARGET3
BY THE DISPATCH PHILOSOPHER.
To be Returned.
I asked her if she loved me
She said, "Yes."
Bald I, "Then you will give me
Just one kiss."
She said, her loving glances
On me bent,
"I will, but 'tis not given,
Only lent"
And as I pressed the darling to my breast
Said I, '"Twill be repaid with interestl"
An Economical Girl.
Jennie George, I think you will have.to turn
that gas down a little lower.
George Certainly, darling. The request is
an evidence of your affection for your father.
You do not wish his gas bill to be large.
Jennie Exactly so.
Father (who has overheard the foregoing con
versation Nevermind, George; burn her high
or burn her low, the meter works all the same.
Jennie That's so. papa, and the best thing
you can do is to turn it off altogether.
George Amen!
Father Yes. So I had the electric light
company place one of their lights in front of
this parlor, and they are about to turn on hat
see. there it is! Floods with light this apart
mentt Jennie George, let us go into the kitchen.
Poor Prospect.
First Poet Have you done well this winter?
Second Poet Very well.
F. P. So have I; but I'm afraid
S. P. Afraid of what7
F. P. That the winter's work will be followed
by a spring idyl.
Touched Her on tho Right Spot.
Recently bereaved widow (to caller) I am
afraid I will be poor company to-day for you.
Friend Why moper Come out and take a
walk through the streets. It will do you good.
R. B. W. Oh! I could not think of it
F. 1 saw some lovely mourning styles as I
came along.
K. B. W. (with interest) Indeed! Well,
perhaps a walk through the streets would do
me some good.
Thev Are All Sensible to Flattery.
Tramp (to servant girl who answers his ring
at the bell) Madam, pardon me. I am sorry
to take yon away if even for a moment from
tho supervision of the domestic duties of your
household and the direction of your servants,
but I am really in need and if
Servant girl (with a gratified smile stealing
over her countenance) Walt a moment, my
poor man.
She disappears and speedily reappears with a
generous supply of food and pressing a quarter
into bi3 hands, says: "Call again when you are
this way,"
And as the tramp goes down the road he
chuckles and murmurs to himself: "That's the
best racket yet. To mistake the lady for her
daughter is a played out game, but to mistake
tbe servant for the missus! Ah! That's what
fetches the vittlesl"
Lovely Womnn.
Oh woman! in onr hours of ease
Uncertain, coy and hard to please
And variable as the shade
By the light quivering aspen made;
When pain and anguish wring the brow,
A ministering angel thou !
But when you at the play do wear
A seven-storied hat I swear
(And so I'm sure will other men)
You are not deemed an angel then.
Not much. You put me in a rage;
1 see jour hat but not tho stage.
And pain and anguish wring my brow
For quite a nuisance then art thou I
The Original.
When Jonah was cast overboard
The sailor3 laughed in glee.
And cried: "Down goes McGinty
To the bottom of the sea I"
Tho Floor Walker's Plaint.
"Ha! Jack, you're married now, I hear;
I wish you every joy."
"Thanks. I've been married for a year
And have a little boy."
"Where are you now? Still at the store?"
"I am; and sad's my plight!
For I not only walk the floor
By day, but every night!"
lis! Ho!
Ha! ha! again tho skies are clear.
La grippe its work has done;
There's cold still in the atmosphere,
But In the head there's none.
The Fnilicr-in-Law.
Scene: Boston Woman's Clnb. Time, 1800.
Mrs. S. Have another cup of tea, dear?
Mrs. H. Thank you, dear; but I must got
home.
Mrs. S Why should you hurry? Your hus
band will not chide you if you are a little late;
Mrs. H. It is not my husband, but my father-in-law
that I fear; he is staying with us at
present!
Settled.
"Where shall be held tho great World's Fair?"
O'er this no more men make the jaw go.
And though Now York may rant and swear
The fair's to be held in Chicago.
Phort nnd Sweet.
TnE man who ha3 to mind his wife Is often
found minding the baby, too.
The woman who hasn't a real sealskin will
soon be a3 happy as she who has.
Gkkaldine asks: "If marriages are made in
heaven, where are the divorces made?" In
Cbicago, dear.
Jokes about tho sealskin jacket are far
fetched, and the humorist who makes them is
in danger of getting tbe sack.
uzobob Russx&xi Jackson.
CUKIOUS CONDENSATION
An Alfoona horse received two 1,300
volt shocks from a broken wire and wa3 un.
hurt
At Cherokee, Ga., a 'Squire united a
verv young couole. The groom was 18 and thj
bride 12 j ears of age.
The hundred and twenty-fifth house
keeper of an old widower of Pleasantville, Pa,
gave him a thrashing the other day.
Milo Cooper, a former slave of Jefferson.
Davis, now living at Orlando, Fla., has sent a
lot of fine peach trees to Mrs. Jefferson Davis.
Two weeks ago Hollis Mosher, of Rocfc
ford, drew a sparrow-bounty of !H1 19- Las
week he presented 1,874 heads and drew $56 25.
The young women of the Detroit, Mich.,
School of Art have revolted because the con
ductor of that institution decreed that no pupil
shall be allowed to chew gum.
A young couple in Sampson county,
N. C. were married on Tuesday. The lady's
name was Miss James Henry and that of the
groom was Mr. Henry James.
Mr. Ward Parsons, of Parsons, offers to
donate five acres of welLlocated land near tho
town of Parsons. W. Va., to anv company that
will give steady employment to 50 men.
Ex-Senator William Mahone. of Vir
ginia, will deliver an address on Slondav even
ing next at the Manufacturers' Club 1409 Wal
nut street on 'The Black Man in the South."
Christopher Schwartz, a prominent
bakerof Allentown, has brought suit for $500
damages against Elmer Bernhard. who is al
leged to have said that Schwartz sold stale
bread.
Some idea of the amount of plates kept
by the Methodist Book Concern fn New York
maybe formed from thefact that the aeent3
have just sold for old metal over SO tons of old
plates and type.
It is stated that the Russian Govern
ment will attempt in April to lift two Englih
steamers, which were sunk off Balaklava during
the Crimean War. It i believed that one of
the vessels contains 40,000,
George LaBarge, of Ada, felled a tree
recently and found a steel trap grown fast be
tween two limbs in the top, and an owl's feather
in the trap. There was an owl in the neighbor
hood some years ago with a trap fast on (his
foot '
The results of recent experiments in the
Mediterranean showing how far daylight will
penetrate the water were found with geUtlne
bromide plates. The greatest depth was 1J51S
feet or 327 feet short of the limit assigned some
years ago.
In Chester, Pa., the colored people h.tva
come to the conclnsion. after a trial of e-ght
years, that tbe education of white and b.ck:
children together does not work satisfacto f y,
and have asked for separate schools to be.s
tablished. There is a negro man in Hickcly
Monntain, N. C.who is the champion runneif
the Stite. He is a great rabbit hunter and
hunts without dog organ, and can catch mora
rabbits by outrunning them than anybody elio
can with dogs.
The great body of the Eskimos of the
Arctic region, the Tinnehs ot the Tipper Yukor.
and tbe Eskimos of tho coast of Bebring Sea
live in log huts partially underground. They
have made less advancement in civilization
than the lower coast tribes.
The eulichon, or candle fish, which am
found near the glacial streams, in the Arcti
region, are dried by the natives and used frr
lights during their long winter evenings. Tbfy
are also salted and smoked, put up like herring
and exported to a limited extent
An Adelaide, Australia, daily paper
has in its employ three men named Day. One
of them is called Sun Dty, because be is a cler
gyman: another being the cashier, is called Pay
Day. while the third, being a law reporter, goes
by the name of Judgment Day.
There is a perch fish in a well at Mr.
William Ayeras near Nashville, Ga.. known to
be 35 years old. When the well Is being cleaned
"perche" is taken out, placed in a bucket of
fresh water, and kept nntil the work is com
pleted. Tbe nsh keeps the well clear of all in
sects. Harriman, the pedestrian, returned
W ednesday to Wabash from Cbicago, where he
has completed arrangements for his great walk
of 3,000 miles to the Pacific coast on a wager of
$3,000. The final deposit of S50O was made
Tuesday night in New York by Harriman''
backers.
It seems that lhe African elephant is in,
danger of being as thoroughly exterminated ai
has ben the American bison. Tbe demand
for ivory has caused them to be relentlessly
bunted and they have become so scarce that
the supply of ivory has greatly decreased and
its price has advanced in proportion.
An Alabama negro recently brought to
Birmingham some chips 'cue from a cork tree
growing in his neighborhood. He says the tree
was imported from tbe old country andplanted
many years ago, when a mere twig. It has
grown to be several feet in circumference, and
the chips show it to be a genuine cork tree.
State Food Commissioner Derthick has
been examining tbe extra pure Vermont maple
syrup sent into Ohio by a Detroit firm and be
finds it compounded of ono part of sugar to
two carts glucose. Is this due to the sugar
tariff, or to an awakening Detroit conscience?
A few years ago the formula was one barrel of
sugar to five of glucose.
In a suburban cemetery near Detroit
are three graves of husband3 of the same
woman, all in a row, and a most remakable and
suggestive of the place Is the three head
stones. The first to Jbe burled received a very
handsome and expensive stone; tbe second ex
hibits a considerable reduction, and the third is
a very cheap affair indeed.
William Martin, a pattern maker for
the Tennessee Coal, Iron and Railroad Com
pany, met a singular death at South Pittsburg,
Tenn. He was in an intoxicated condition,
and while eating breakfast undertook to swal
low a piece of steak two inches wide and six
inches long. It stuck in his throat and wonld
neither go down nor np, and before medical aid
could be summoned Martin choked to death.
While a boy was cutting bananas from
a bunch hanging tn front of a Burlington. Vt.
grocery store, a large tarantula sprang at him,
striking him on the side of the neck. From,
the boy's neck the insect leaped into a barrel
b alt full of crackers. No one caring to med
dle with such an ugly customer, at the sugges
tion of a policeman the barrel as dosed with
kerosene, and then carried Into the street and
set on fire.
W. D. Danzler, an old colored man who
lives in Orangeburg county, S. C. goes every
yeirtotho graveyard where his former master
and mistress lie buried and cleans off their
graves. In speaking of the matter, he said: "I
care for those who once cared forme. These
white folks I belonged to before God broke the
bonds of slavery, and, since God has taken
them first and left me behind. I go everv tmi
and clean off their graves."
The story come3 from Augusta.Ga.,
that recently a ben hatched out a lot of
chickens, but to one of them, for some nnac
countacle reason, showed much aversion,
finally driving the little chick from her flock!
But the chick quickly found a sympathetic
partner in a white puppy that owed allegiance
to the same household. They eat and play to
gether. When the chick gets sleepy it hops on.
tbe back of the dog and dozes away with as
much confidence as If under the protectlne
wing of Its mother.
CUEEEST TIMELY TOPICS.
Our office boy wants to know what makes
buzz saw.
Elephant Tippecanoe's heart was too large
for him to carry and last week he keeled over and
died. It is said of "Tip" that he was the first
elephant to die suddenly, bnt tbe people who
have died suddenly from the lovable dispositions
of elephants Is past counting.
It is said that a little over 7,000 divorces were
granted In Kansas the past M years. The record
Is a good one, considering the number of drug
stores that dispense poor whisky.
A man has been fined 510 for snoring In a
New York church. Considering the fact that
there are no flies in the winter time to keep a man
awake in church, the flue was an outrage and
should be remitted.
The Wheeling Hegutcr has donned a new
spring suit. It now looks as lovely and sings as
brightly ss the robin In the parts yesterday.
Aunt Matilda Rubv has just died in Ken
tucky at the advanced age of 135 years, she has
teen an inveterate tobacco fiend for many years,
and but for the use of the obnoxious stun, might
Have lived on forever.
An amendment to the Oklahoma bill in the
House, which has pissed, prohibits the sale of in
toxicating liquors until after the adjournment of
the first legislative assembly. The amendment
was added, no doubt for the purpose of allowing
the members to ride home.
On Thursday a Hungarian of MllnesviUe.
Pa-, put up bis wife, furniture and a crow at
auction. A number of the woman's admirers
were present and one of thenr finally captured
the prizes for tsi. II any State in this broad uni
verse eaa neat uut, now u the ums to sptatti
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