y " Vf,
TEE PITTSBURG DISPATOH. SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 28, 1890.
20
t
:N
.HOW TYOilEN SAY GOODBT.
Alwaya Sometlilna More to Say After the
Boston tim Been Informed That Her
Caller Mmt Go-A Little Feminine
Wenkneai That Shonld be Reformed.
ttnurrax roa the dispatch, j
EALLY I must
go," remarks
Mrs. Smith to
her lriend, Mrs.
Brown, upon
whom she if call
ing; "lam stay
ing altogether too
long."
"Oh, don't hnr.
tv," rejoins her
hospitable host
ess. "Thank yon,
but I mnst go.
Therel I was al-
most departing
without telling
yon "
Then follows a long ' story about how
Brother John's cnickens have been scratch
ing in that cross Mrs. Twosticks' garden,
and how she has threatened to sne Brother
John for damages, and, oh! wasn't it ridic
ulous! until ten minutes have passed, and
still Mrs. Smith has not gone.
Presently she rises again. "How I am
staying!" she exclaims asain.
At this moment enters Mrs. Robinson.
Mrs. Smith is fond of Mrs. Robinson and
mnst remain for just a moment more. Her
"moment" consists of ten more minutes.
Then she starts again, pausing in the hall
for five additional minutes and on the door
step for five minutes more. Mrs. Brown
and Mrs. Robinson have both accompanied
her to the door and all three ladies affection
ately exchange remarks until Mrs. Smith is
fairly ont of hearing.
CARRIED AWAY BY TBIFLES.
They do not like to see other ladies do
this, bnt somehow there is almost always a
reason why they should do it themselves.
Many a "really well bred and estimable
lady, carried away by the trifling enthusi
asm of the moment errs in this respect.
Mr. Howells refers to the "usual rustic
difficulty in getting away," bnt this rustici
ty, it such it be, is not confined to the rural
districts; it occurs everywhere, and is a con
stant source of ridicule among men when
they discuss a s, alas! they are fain to do
the foibles of their sisters and wives.
It is really a mart: of at least lamentable
forgetfulness of good manners, if not a to
ken of positive ill breeding, to dawdle and
delay in takine one's departure, and this
rule, like nearly all of the views ot good so
ciety, is fcnnded upon reason. The well
"Bow I am Mayingy She Exclaims.
balanced and well bred woman does not for
get what she was going to say; she restrains
her spirits somewhat in fact, she is likely
to be almost too well restrained. It is bet
ter to err in this direction, however, than in
the other. The fashion of "gushing," to
use a vulear but expressive term, is hap
pily past. It is now the period of the icy
and the "ornamental." "Repose or man
ner" has "come in" again. Can we not
strike a happy medium between too great
indiflercnce and the other extreme?
HANDSHAKING TEEStJS KISSING.
Do not kiss your friend goodby unless you
are very intimate with her. The kiss is loo
sweet and sacred a token to be bandied light
ly about among mere acquaintances. A cor
dial handshake is enough to indicate your
genuine regard. I j a well-known club for
women.one bright rjemberrecentlyproposed
that a reform amo jg the entire sisterhood
shonld be inaugurated.
"Let us begin," she said, cleverly, "by
paying attention to what our children say to
ns, and trying to answer them accurately'; by
noticing just what is remarked to ns in gen
eral society,Hnd by replying to such remarks
to the very nest of our ability. Women are so
apt to be only half attentive to what they
consider trifles."
It is indeed worth while to consider that,
olten, "trifles discover character more than
actions of importance." George Eliot some
where tells us: "It is in those acts called
tri viulities that the seeds of joy are forever
lasted."
, It is sometimes very fanny to hear the
' "linked sweetness, long drawn ont," of the
goodbys o women; but, until thev learn to
reiorm in trifles like these, it will be im
possible to convince skeptics in the matter
that women are anything but the incon
sequent, ill-balanced, silly creatures which,
ever since literature began, they have been
set down to be.
The dignity of the whole world of women
demands a reform.
Kate Upson Clabk.
ACE WE EVER HAPPY?
Mrs. Frank Leslie Finds n Variety of Opin
ion! From a Vurlely of People. All TJn
nilifactory Are Married Persona Hap
pier Than Mnsle?
WEItTIl! FOB THX DISPATCH.)
A little while ago I was asked to write a
brief paper answering the question, "What
was the happiest moment of your life?
I replied to that, and truly the happiest
moment of my own life was the one in
which I could lay before those whom they
concerned the proofs that I had fulfilled the
great task ol my life, had paid the last
penny of Frank Leslie's indebtedness, and
cleared the memory of that noble man from
the stigma of debt which clouded his last
moments.
But, alter all, was that a moment of hap
piness? A moment of satisfaction, a mo
ment of triumph, a moment of honorable
pride yes it was all this; but the bitter
ness of the strife through which that peace
was conquered, the lonely wearinessof labors
beyond my streneth, the yearning for the
word of loving thanks I could never hear
ill these came in, and so embittered the
sweetness of that thonght, so dimmed
the glory of that sunshine, that after all I
cannot call it a moment of happiness.
I kit
B lffi(4 S v
II f J
But if it was not, I do not know that I
ever ielt happiness, and in looking around
among my friends and acquaintances I am
inclined to wonder if anybody really is or
can be truly happy.
I do not mean just amused or free from
care; children are that, but I do not call
them happy, for they cannot know how for
tunate they are, and happiness must involve
a mental contrast with some other condition
in which we might have been involved; my
happiness in paying those debts was the
outcome of the misery of not being able to
pay them; the happiness of the traveler's
return home is the contrast with the separa
tion and homelessness of his travels.
PLEASUBE BY CONTRAST.
We have all heard of the Indian whom
the missionary found pounding his own
finger with a brick. The good man thought
it was a penance, and was applauding the
piety of the neophyte, who, however, inter
rupted him to explain, with a solemn grin,
that "Much poundee, much achee; feel
muchee good when leave off."
Perhaps, then, happiness for us who know
our world is only the absence of pain or
trouble, and as the child does not know
about pain and trouble, it cannot really know
happiness.
But older children, babes between 15 and
25, what of them? Girls do not know much
of the sorrow or care of existence if they have
a father to provide the means of life, and a
mother to ward off worries and responsibili
ties, and young men with somebody to make
a place for them in the world, and to bolster
them np in it, have as little real knowledge
of the rough side of life as they have of
rheumatism.
But are these girls and boys trnly happy?
2Jo, for they are, both consciously and un
consciously, in a transition, and, thereto. e,
in an unsatisfied condition; the girl is look
ing forward more or less frankly to the day
when some Mr Right shall come along and
invite her to become the queen consort of a
little kingdom of their own, shall introduce
her into some ideal condition of life wherein
she shall find happiness, and however
fortunate her girlhood, she seldom looks
upon it as more tban a vestibule and waiting-room
through which one passes to life.
THE HAPPY HONEYMOON.
A little later on, there is a condition which
I suppose comes as near true happiness as
anything this world affords; it is the early
married life of two persons really in love,
and really adapted by age, edncation, tastes
and temper for companionship with each
other. To such a couple, with money
enough between them to free them from the
sordid cares and anxieties of life, there may
come a few weeks nay, let us be liberal and
say a few months of almost perfect happi
ness; but oh; my heart! how sure itfjis to
change as time goes on! The honeymoon
itself wanes steadily from the hour of its
perfection, and though other moons may
come, and be very bright and very beauti
ful, that especial moon comes no more.
And, in later life, how tew people, it yon
ask them what has been the happiest hour
of their existence, would place it in the
present epoch of life. As a rule they go
back to childhood's Ignorant carelessness, or
to youth's calcium-lighted and impossible
dreams of a future that never came.
One man of my acquaintance, when asked
the above question, replied: "The happiest
moments of my existence ere when, after a
really good dinner with good wines, I seat
myself in my study chair, my slippered feet
upon a rest, a capital cigar between my
teeth, a steady light falling over my left
shoulder, and an interesting magazine or
book in my hanrs. Then, if nobody disturbs
me, I experience for two or three hours the
fullest sense of happiness of which my
hnman nature is capable."
TOO MUCH OP COMPACTION SHI?.
"Ajd do you not include human com
panijnship in your recipe?"
"JSo, my dear madam. All through the
d .y I have a great deal more human com
panionship than I want."
"A very selfish idea of happiness," re
sponded I; and he: "Let ns talk or the
p'neenix, or of the Island of Atlantis, or of
the man in the moon; any one of them is
more tangible than this myth which you
call happiness."
I asked a good man or at any rate he was
a clergyman what happiness means and
where it is to be found, and be picked up a
Bible off his table and read aloud:
And whatsoever mine eyes desired I kept not
from them, I withheld not my heart from any
joy; and, heboid, all was vanity
and vexation ot spirit, and there was no profit
under the sun. Wherefore I praised
the dead which are already dead more than the
living whieh are yet alive. Yea, better Is he
tban both they which hath not yet been, who
hath not seen the evil work that is done under
the sun.
"That is the verdict of Solomon, the wisest
man who ever lived," said my frignd the
parson, as he laid down the book, "and he
seems to think that happiness is an unattain
able condition."
And so the man of the world and the
man of God come to the same conclusion by
different paths and without a thought in
common.
THE BUTTERFLY'S HAPPINESS.
A little disheartened in niv Quest. I next
applied to a person neither cynical, nor
pious, nor bright a dear, pretty "little but
terfly who has danced and fluttered over the
parterres of fashion for more years than we
talk about.
"Happiness!" chirruped she, "why, of
course, there's any amount of happiness go
ing, and I'm sure nobody gets a bigger share
of it than you," etc., etc
"Yes, bnt you," interrupted I, "tell me,
now, what is your chief form ol happiness,
since you have so much?"
"Well, let me see. It's when I have a
really good box at the Academy on a first
night, and can sec that there isn't a better
dressed woman in the balcony, and have a
lot of nice men crowding to get a word with
me; that's happiness of one sort. Then,
when I receive and have secured some lion
that hasn't roared in anybody else's rooms,
and that cverybodyis dying to see. and oh!
to have people besiege you for invitations,
and to appe.ir at a garden party or some
where where there's lots of room in a gown
just that minute imported and see all the
other women looking you over. Whv. J
.1 j.tu. . .. i . i H
life if you only have simple and easily con
tented tastes like mine."
One day a dear old lady, a friend of my
mother'ssent for me to pay her a little
visit, and as I looked at her placid face and
peaceful eyes I said to myself: "There is
such a thing as happiness, and she has
found it," and I asked her if my surmise
was notcorrect.
She thonght it over for a moment, and
then with her own smile said: "I am afraid
I never really found it, my dear, although
I believe fully that there is such a thing,
and I am going to find it soon. It lies the
other side of the river, however, so I can
not describe it to you. The happiness of
this world is hope. 'Man never is, but al
ways to be, blessed.' " .
XABBIKD OB SINGLE.
One thing, however, is certain; the
simpler the conditions, the easier it is to ful
fill them; expect but little, and you can't be
disappointed of a great deaL Does this ap
ply to persons as well as things and sur
roundings? Is a single person more likely
to be happy than a double one?
Are bachelors and maids happier than
married folk? It is a big question, and per
haps will find as many voices In the nega
tive as in the affirmative, bnt my individual
answer would be, The lingln person cannot
be as unhappy as the double one, and al
though the bliss of married life tueh as I at
first described is great, so. is also the misery
of an ill-assorted or disastrous marriage. The
loneliness of a loving heart is hard to bear,
and the longing for protecting and sympathet
ic companionship is very sorrowful and de
pressing, but the burden of enforced com
panionship with a husband who has become
an object of aversion and terror is a great
deal harder to bear, and the slavery of de
pendence upon an unwilliug and grudging
master is far more bitter and unendurable.
It is, after all, a good deal like gambling;
you stake your dollar and you may win five
or you may lose alL Probably the wisest
plan, certainly the most obvious advice, is;
Don't put up vonr dollar I
Mbs. Feaxk Leslie.
ABOUT WOMANLY GRACE.
Objection! to the SnsKeiiloos for Improve
meat Blade by Writer In Lait Sun
day'! Dlapntcb The Value of Judicious
Physical Exercise.
To the Editor or The Ulspstch:
In your issue of last Sunday there ap
peared a profusely captioned article con
taining much vague speculation and many
glittering generalities, but the sparest
sprinkling of available wisdom, designed,
seemingly, to give a lift, as it were, to suf
fering woman pitiedly flinching in her
sedulous endeavor to pose and carry herself
with dignity and grace. We will not dis
course with the writer, who signs herself
"S.," whether the ill-formed frame and
careless posture and motions of a being are to
be imputed to the lack of "inspiration" of
the Creator who, according to the philosophy
of 'S.," "in rare moments of inspiration"
distributes His "enviable gift of grace," or
to the effects of an ill-directed education,
personal negligence and predisposition.
But we feel constrained to remark that, for
those unfortunates in whom a neglected
posture and awkwardness ot locomotion are
manifest, even when no pronounced
deviation or alteration of the organic
structure exist, the suggestions of "S." are
of very little value, notto say misguiding.
In the uprieht position of the human
body the line of gravity of the head passes
in front of the joint between the atlas verte
bra and the head. If the muscles of the
neck become relaxed the center of capital
gravity falls much further forward, pre
senting the head ot the near sighted, the
writer, the student, the weak, etc The
common line of gravity lor the head and
trunk passes in front of tenth thoracic
vertebra and consequently falls behind the
hip joints. In the absence of counteraction
the trunk would fall backward, but is kept
upright by means of the abdominal and
femoral muscles, aided by the ileo-femoral
ligaments. The common line of gravity
for the head, trunk and legs, from the
knees upward, passes by the anterior
side of the eleventh thoracic vertebra
and falls behind the knee joints.
Were it not for the co-operation of the
muscles of the legs with those of the ab
domen, the body would fall backward, and
when the muscles of the legs are lacking
sufficient strength we get a representation of
weak and yielding knees, together with a
protruding stomach, flat chest and a gen
eral misery of malformation. The center of
gravity for the whole body passes through
the second lumbar vertebraand falls through
the tarsus, in front of the joint between the
foot and the leg. The body is prevented
from falling forward by the arch-.'ormed
construction of the foot and by the general
co-operation of a multitude ot muscles, pre
dominantly those attached to the heel.
"WHAT IS THE BEMEDY.
As an erect and graceful posture, and
especially walking, consequently calls into
action nearly all the muscles of the body,
and as a faulty posture and awkward carriage
in walking generally depends on the absence
tft healthy and uartuuniou cooperation of all
the muscles, that observance is of little valne
which does not teach the repair of the whole
structure. That very brilliant results would
be forthcoming in following the solemn ad
vise of "S" to set "like a brooding Buddha"
and never flinch "for half an nour each day,
touching neither chair, carriage or car seat
back, and sitting well toward theedge of the
seat with the right loot slightly in advance
of the left, ready to rise quickly without
help from the hands at an emergency." I
very seriously doubt the following "lormula
lor walkmff," furnished also by "S." "Fancy
a slender cord about your chest, just beneath
the arms, the ends of which an angel bears
aloft, fluttering just above your head, and
walk so gently and smoothly and erectly
that the frail cord shall remain taut, yet not
be permitted to break," is perhaps a pretty
enough picture to sporton a lecture platform
or a ladies' meeting, but it seems to me, at
least, that teaching a growing girl conscious
ness of her corporeal facultiesg ambition and
self reliance wonld be considerably more
useful tban emulating the motions of a man
nikin or a -string doll.
Whatever may be said of personal beauty,
gracefulness is certainly acquirable in early
training without running by inheritance or
manifestation by "endowment." Graceful
ness is an idea belonging to posture and mo
tion. In both these, to be graceful, it is
requisite that there be no appearance of dif
ficulty; there is required a small inflection
of the body, and a composure ot the parts in
such manner as not to encumber each other,
nor to appear divided by sharp and sudden
angles. In this case, this softness, this del
icacy of attitude and motion, is that in
which all the magic of grace consists, and
what is called its je ne sais quoi.
PHYSICAL EXEBCISE.
It is-universally acknowledged that noth
ing tends so much to impart this graceful
ness, suppleness, vigor and health as a com
prehensive, methodical and judicious scheme
of physical exercise. As in mental training
it is necessary to develop the snbtle faculties
of the mind so, we hold, that the body
can never become the ready and graceful
servant of the will without the stamina of a
sound physical education; and it can not be
denied that the bodily health produced by
physical exercise must tend in a large de
gree to add to the mental energy and to de
velop the intellectual faculties.
Whatever may be said of the Swedish
pedagogical system of gymnastics, its tedi
ousness, "trivial dogmatic way," and "not
bringing out the muscles'' so well as "the
Dowd gymnastics (?),"mean while accepting
the statements ot "Shirley Dare" and Du
Bois Baymond for what they are worth, we
would beg those who are interested in this
subject to remember that "It is not the
greater or lesser power ot any part that de
termines the strength or weakness of an in
dividual, so much as the proportion and
harmony of the several parts; that the
organism can only be said to be
perfectly developed when its several parts
are in mutual harmony with each other;
that the possible development of the human
body must be limited by the faculties, men
tal and bodily, belonging to' the individual;
that the body, whose different parts are not
in harmony, is not in harmonious accord
with the mind, and that perfect health and'
physical power are co-relative terms; both'
are dependent on the harmony of the sev
eral parts."
INCIDENTAL BENEFITS.
Beside the inestimable valne of these and
similar "trivial dogmatic ways" and prin- j
cipits oi xiiug iur tut; iie&iiu mat a rauonai
physical edncation produces, they bring ont
many other characteristics of infinite benefit
to the country and community at large; for
there can be no doubt that an education
founded on such a basis develops habits of
good order, owing to the discipline and self
restraint necessary to its completion. A.
healthy competition among disciples in
volves the promotion of love of fair play
and appreciation of pluck, and also stimu
lates that generosity of mind and character
which has done so" much in the cause of
civilization, humanity, liberty and justice.
AXEL O. HALLBECK.
Ho cure no pay, is the motto of Salvation
OIL because it cures every time. pnly"25e.
A BULLET'S BEFOBM.
One of Captain Jack Crawford's Best
Temperance Stories.
SCENE IN CAMP IN THE PAR WEST.
An Old Scout Shatters ft Jug of Whisky
With a Kevolver Shot.
THE HOYEL PLEDGE ENDS A 01BOUSAL
(COBZZSFOITDSXCX Or THE DISPATCH. J
New Yobk, February 22. Captain Jack
Crawford, the J'Poet Scout," was passing
through the Hoffman House the other even
ing with a few friends when he was invited
to have a drink with a party that sat at one
of the tables. Captain Jack, as he is famil
iarly called by all who know him, turned
toward the speakers and answered quietly:
"I don't drink, but I will smoke a cigar
with yon."
His hearers were surprised. A scout, and
a man who had spent all his life among the
Indians in the West not drink? It seemed
impossible.
"I see your surprise," said the Captain,
smiling, "and I think if I red off a little
story you won't blame me so much for
being a temperance man."
Of course everyone was eager to hear the
story, for Captain Jack has the reputation
of being a charming storyteller, so when
the party had retired to a secluded nook in
the gorgeous cafe, the scout began: "Boys,
what I am going to tell you is the truth and
I think it may make some ot vou, especially
you kittenish fellows, leel stronger in this
big city of temptations. In 1876 I was ap
pointed chief ot sconts to succeed Buffalo
Bill, in the campaign against Sitting Bull.
Beturmng one evening from a two days'
scout, my horse went lame and I determined
to turn him loose and go ahead on foot.
Just as I was about to take off the saddle
and bridle, I heard the sounds of song and
laughter drilting from a remote part of the
canon. 'It is the command,' I thought,
'and it is not far away. Brace up, Chief,
old fellow, and we'll soon be where there is
plenty to eat and where we will have a
chance to rest.'
ABOUND A BIO CAMP PIBE.
"I soon came in sight of a big campfire,
in the ruddy light of which were grouped a
numoer of sconts and packers rough,
gnszled old frontiersmen, whose lives had
been spent on the borders of civilization.
As I drew near the spot they began to sing
a border song, the notes of which echoed
and re-echoed around the great rock-ribbed
gulch with weird and almost unearthly
reverberations. The boys welcomed me
warmly, and I learned that they had secured
a big jug of whisky, and had made their
present camp away irom the troops to have
a eood time unmolested. Of course, the
jug traveled slowly but frequently around
the circle, and fun and laughter reigned
supreme.
" 'Now, Cap'n Jack,' said one of the boys,
'you must fill up with us on this tarantula
juice. We've come up y'er for a jamboree,
an' we're havin' it in Wild West style, and
don't yer fergit it. Flood yer inuards,
Cap'n, an' take a hand in th' festivities.'
" 'No thank you, boys," I Baid, 'I never
drinc." This response was greeted with
the loudest laughter, as though it were the
Dest joke of the season. The man who held
the jug came over to me and said: 'That's all
right, Cap'n, but on a special 'casion sich
as this be, everybody must drink. Let us
have a good time while we kin, for on sich a
expedition as this we don't know when
we'll run into ininns an' leave onr unoccu
pied bodies layin' sort o' onconsarned like,
among the sage brush in a state of bald
headed inactivity; so let's make all we kin
o' life while it stays with ns. Fas'en yer
claws on th' jug, ol' boy, and down some of
th' liquor.'
A STOBY IN THE CAMP.
"I took the jng, and, placing it on a
stump by my side, said: 'Boys, I always do
mj share toward helping out camp festivi
ties, but before I drink with you I want to
tell you a little story. When I was a little
bareiooted. mischievous youngster, my home
was in Minersville, in the coal regions of
Pennsylvania. lily lather was una aud in
dulgent, and, with his little ones grouped
around him, he olten told us stories of ad
venture and life in the mines. My mother
was a sweet, sentle creature, for whom onr
adoration almost verged into worship. She
was bound np in ner children and they in
her bound with the purest and brightest
links ever forged for the golden chain of
love. The dove of peace rested npou onr
happy little home and cooed its sweetest
melodies.
"Whenlgrewtobeachunkofaboylno
ticed a gradual but marked change in my
father's appearance and actions. His
clothes became seedy, his face flushed, and
he would act strangely when he came home.
Mother would always take him to bed, and
afterward when I noticed her tears and
asked her what the trouble was, she would
reply that father was not well. He never
told us any more stories, bnt stayed away
until a late hour. When I grew older I
knew that the cause of his staggering and
strange actions was rum, and that it was
D BAG GIN O A NOBLE
man- down, down, day by day into the
depths of a hell upon earth. Heat last re
fused to speak kindly to us, and as we felt
that our father was lost to us our hearts
ached with grief. When the war. broke out
"in 1861 my father was one of the first to go
to the front, and two years later, against the
wishes of my mother, I enlisted, although
not ot the required ags. I will not detail to
you my experience during the war, but I
was wounded twice, and at the close of the
war I returned home. My father was
wounded also, and died shortly after the
war.
" 'A few months after the death of my
father, my mother was taken sick, and my
heart almost broke as I saw her day by day
sinking. One day the doctor came to me
and said: "Johnny, I have sad news for
you, but you must bear up under the great
sorrow as w ell as you can; your mother must
leave you soon."
" 'I trembled so I could hardly stand, and
begged the doctor not to give Jier up, but to
save her for me and I would be his slave lor
life. The good, kind-hearted old man placed
his hand on my he.id and said: "My dear
boy, she is past all hnman aid. Calm yonr
sell as much as you can and come with me;
she wants to see'you."
WHERE HIS UOTHEB LAY DYING.
" 'He took my hand and led me into the
room which already rested under the dark
shadows of the wings of the Angel of Death.
My poor mother lay there pale as the pillow
upon which her dear head rested; upon her
emaciated face a look of calm resignation
such an expression as comes only to the
dying Christian, whose hope of im
mortality beyond the grave has becn
stamped with the approving seal ot
the Almighty. Weeping bitterly, I threw
myself on my knees at the bedside. Placing
one of her thin, white hands in mine and
the other on my head she said: "Johnny, my
son, I mnst leave you. My dear boy, will
you make me a promise that I can take np
to heaven with me? It ill then not be so
hard to leave you here alone in the world."
" 'Choked with sobs and tears, I told her
that I would promise anything anything
anvthing. "God bless you for those words,
my boy," she said, "for I know that I can
trust you, promise me that as long as you
live you will not let a drop of liquor pass
your lips." "I promise, mother, I promise.
I promise the angel that God is about to
take from me that I will never touch li
quor." ' "
AN AFPECTINQ SCENE.
Captain Jack's voice trembled and he
paused a second to hastily brush away a
glistening tear. "That's just the way I
felt and acted,"he continued, "and I no
ticed that some of the boys were doing the
very same thing. I continued my story to
them 'Boys,' I said, 'to this day I have
faithfully kept that promise, and I know
that the spirit of my angel mother has ever
been near to guide and shield me when
temptation assailed me. And how shall I
pain that angel, whose presence and in
fluence I can almost feel with me hereto
night by breaking that pledge? Shall I
take a drink: with you?' "
"As I concluded I extended my hand
toward the liquor, but before I could reach
it a pistol shot rang out and echoed through
the canon, and the jug was shattered in
many pieces. At the same instant an old
scout named Bjll Beed sprang to his feet
with the smoking pistol still in his hand
and shouted:
TBUE AS HIS BULLET.
" 'No, you shan't drink; and I've Just
signed the pledge with that thar bullet. I
had jest sich a mother. Jack, an' she talked
to me jest as your'n did to yon; bnt I was a
wild boy, pafds, an' soon fergot her teach
in's, although they come to me all sprinkled
with my mother's holy tears. But look
here, boys, when th' noise o' that shot
reaches her up in heaven, the smile that
onghter a been on her face when she died Ml
fit thar, an' th' peace that her dear sonl's
een a-Iongin' for '11 snuggle down in her
breast, fer I think that God '11 give her th'
power to realize th't shot was her own Bill's
nledse.
"A few moments later the group was scat
tered. I sat with Bill's hand clasped in
mine encouraging him to keep his novel
filedge; one or two of the men lay looking
nto the fire with thoughtful faces; others
strolled about gazing at the ground, or sat
on rocks in moody silence.,
THE SCENE WAS CHANGED.
Gone was the rollicking song; gone was
the Bacchanalian song; gone was the liquor
inspired whoops and yells. One might
have thought that the rough, daring men
were brooding over the loss of the whisky,
but they were not. Their thoughts had
gone skimming over the back trails of their
TV! K I PSfi llVCS.
"They were thinking of mother."
Those that heard the pathetic little story
seemed strangely affected, for when they
took leave of Captain Jack a few moments
later they seemed to be imitatingthe actions
of the rough frontiersmen out in that lonely
canon in the West. And perhaps they were
thinking of mother. Who knows.
Wilson.
BAIL WAY COMPANl'SLOSS.
Claims That Mint bo Met and How They
..- Originate.
Freight Agent, In Globe Democrat. 3
There is a large amount of kicking against
the railroad companies by the business pub
lic, but there is very little said in regard to
the heavy losses they frequently sustain.
One of the most common sources of annoy
ance that we have to contend with is that
of claims for lost goods. There is com
paratively little freight actually lost,
but the freight trains are con
stantly subject to the depredations of
thieves. Dishonest employes is a fruitful
source of loss to the railroad companies. It
will be remembered that some time since a
barn fall of stolen freight was located in the
vicinitv ot Venice, 111., and the cotids had
been accumulated in a very short time by
an organized clique of employes. Another
case was that of a gang of employes which
established a depot for their stolen property
in New Mexico, and many cases of goods
were sent to it from points in Illinois and
other places equally distant.
The extensive steal of a gang of the Penn
sylvania Bailroad Company's employes, in
which the company lost $300,000 worth of
goods before the gang was finally appre
hended, is well remembered. It sometimes
occurs that boxes of boots or shoes are
opened and a few pairs are taken out, the
box nailed up and sent to its destination.
Only a short time ago we were called npon
to settle tor a case of boots which had been
opened by some one who failed to find a pair
to fit him, and in nailing up the box he
drove a nail through one boot, completely
ruining the pair. There are various other
ways in which goods are lost or damaged in
transit, but the publio never seems to be
aware of it.
A B0I MILLIONAIRE.
Onir 10 Tear Old. Yrt PasseMlng
Fortune of S5.000,000.
New York Morning Journal.
Worth $5,000,000 and only 10 years old.
This is the state of affairs with little Marshall
Koberts, the son of the late millionaire,
Marshall O. Koberts. He is the youngest
millionaire in town, and one of the richest.
There are hundreds of children in New
York who will probably some day inherit
one or more millions, but little Marshall
Roberts already inherits his vast fortune,
aud in 11 years it will he entirely in his
control.
His father was one of the great merchants
of the day, and when he died some four
years ago he left an estate valued at ?10,
000,000. The little boy did not have his en
tire fortune bequeathed him, because there
were other claimants with equal rights
to it
When Mr. Koberts died he was an old
man. His widow, one of the beautiful
young society women of our metropolis and
the mother of little Marshall, was his sec
ond wife. His first wile was 30 years her
senior, and had a danshter who is now Mrs.
Ames Van Wart. Mrs. Van Wart has a
daughter, Miss Evelyn Van Wart, who is 20
years old. This makes young Mrs. Boberts,
who is now but 30, stepmother to a lady of
40 and step-crandmother to a young lady of
I'U, and tne little millionaire of 10 uncle to
a maiden twice bis age.
When Mr. Boberts died he left a will
dividing his money between his wife, his
granddaughter and his little son. The son
has half ot the fortune for his own use, but
until he comes of age his mother is to have
the income from $5,000,000.
MILIjIOXS' worth op okchids.
Baron Schroder' Centlr Collection of
nnndsome Tropical Plants.
From the New Xort World.
There are millions of dollars' worth of
orchids in this country alone, ranging in
value from anything you please to the $250,
000 collection of Erastus Corning, of Al
bany. In England there is hardly an es
tate worth mentioning that has not one or
more greenhouses given up to the cultiva
tion of the fascinating exotics. The Duke
of Marlborongh's orchids have been greatly
celebrated, and one variety, the "Cattleya
Mendeli, Duke of Marlborough," named
first for William Cattleya, of Baruet, Hert
fordshire, one of the earliest amateur grow
ers of orchids, and afterward for his high
ness, does him much honor.
Famous, however, as the Duke's collec
tion has become, it pales' into absolute in
significance beside the prize collection of
the world, also held on English soil. This
is the property of Baron Schroder. This
astounding collection is worth a clean halt
million dollars, and is at Windsor, the
Baron's estate comingjust to the end of the
"Long Walk" Irom Windsor Castle. Even
yet the enthusiastic collector does not feel
that his greenhouses are perfect, but con
tinues to buy choice specimens at equally
choice prices.
Front Waverly, Ohio.
Prof. 8. K. Smith, Principal of the High
School and a-reliable man, says: "On the
recommendation of A. H. Dean, a druggist
of this place, I tried Chamberlain's Cough
Bemedy in my family for colds and croup;
it is a most excellent remedy and I believe
will do all claimed for it," Many druggists
recommend it to their friends because they
know that it can always be depended upon
and give their customers perfect satisfaction.
For the same reasons more druggists use it
in their own families when such a femedv is
required than any other one medicine in use;
CO-cent bottles for sale by E. G. Stuckey,
Seventeenth and Twenty-fourth sts., Penn
ave. and cor. Wylie ave. and Fulton St.;
Markell Bros., cor. Penn and Erankstown
aves.;Theo. E. Ihrig, 3610 Fifth ave.; Carl
Hartwig, Forty-tbird and Butler sts., Pitts
bnrg, and in Allegheny by E. E. Heck, 72
and 194 Federal st.; Thos. E, Morris, cor.
Hanover and Preble aves.; F. H. Eggers,
172 Ohio st, and F. H. Eggers & Son, 199
Ohio st, and 11 Smith'field st. wsu
JKE AND HIS MOTHER
Their Very Eventful Visit in
Tropics Concluded at Last.
the
MRS. PARTINGTON GOES TO COURT.
A Myriad of Bats Distorts the Serenity of
the August Justices.
HE QKEEN D11BEKLLA SPOILS A WIG
iwsrrrair fob tbi Disrxrca.1
CHAPTER IX.
On the arrival of the Seven Pollies, Cap
tain Petton brought a demand for Mrs.
Partington's return, the next voyage, to be
a witness in a case, affecting a balance of
$49 17, against the estate ot the late Paul
Partington. This had long been in contro
versy, till patience being spent, if the money
wasn't, it had hardened into a snit at law.
A strong point in Mrs. Partington's charac
ter was justice, especially where her interest
was concerned, and she resolved to return,
as proposed. She was further induced, on
being informed by Si that the money bad
given out by which she was enabled to re
main so long in retirement.
"To go before a jndicions body," said
Mrs. Partington to her hostess, "and tell all
you know irrespective of the truth, must be
very imperturable to the nerves, and 1
would very much like to see a court in full
possession
"The bench is in session here now," re
plied her hostess.
"Well," said Mrs. Partineton, "thebench
may do as far as it goes, but it seems to me
they might have something easier to sit on.
I want to see the judges and consolers and
powers of eternity that we read about, to get
an idea of the dignity and propensity of a
court of justice."
"I mean the court," was the reply, "they
call it the bench here, and I will go with
you to the pnblic building where the court
is held."
"I thank you; you are very commodious,"
said Mrs. Partington.
The court had not come in when they ar
rived, and they were admitted to the spec
tators seats, though the form of Mrs. Part
ington was recognized and there was a de
bate among the officials as to whether she
shonld not have a place within the bar.
THE ATTACK OP THE BATS.
"Court I" was now heard.and three judges
in gowns ind white horse-hair wizs took
their places, the counsellors, also in gowns
and wigs, taking their seats within the bar;
everything grand and dignified. Cases were
called and given to jnries, old affairs were
disposed of, new matters were called and
solemnly assigned, when, as one of the
judges had arisen to give some formal
opinion, a rrnt struck him full in the
face, and in a moment the room
A Sat Struck Sim,
which opened upon the corridor, was full of
them. Justices, counsellors, witnesses add
spectators jumped upon their feet and rushed
out.
When Mrs. Partington came in she had
spoken of the beautifnl "rotundity" which
spanned thecenterofthe building, and here,
for years had been the home of myriads of
bats, which, for some cause, had been dis
lodged on this bright morning and were per
forming a blind race, dashing about in every
direction neiter ssciter, pro ana con, to and
fro, up and down stirring up things gen
erally. The corridors were filled with judges,
jurors, solicitors, spectators, witnesses, beef
eaters, talesmen and bummers, all engaged
in fighting the hats that swept down npou
them.
Judges and lawyers swung their horse
hair wigs, jumping up and beating the air,
and Mrs. Partington with her umbrella,
which she always carried to keep off the
sun's rays, made a spasmodic dash, striking
one of the judges under the1 ear, knocking
his wig off, revealing a head as bald as a
plate.
The bats were soon subjugated, and things
resumed their .former quiet, but Mrs. Part
ington had seen enough of court dignity,
and moved away under the green cotton
umbrella. They passed on through the
market, a collection of booths, where, drink
ing a glass of ginger beer at one of them,
was one she thought she recognized. She
Mrs. Partington to the Rescue.
pondered the new problem, until she heard
him say that though fortune was hard he
could "grin nnd bear it," and she remem
bered the Sonnerblatt man of the Seven
.Pollies! He wore, Apparently, the same
clothing in which she had formerly known
him, bnt it was darned in places and far
from clean, his Panama hat broken at the
crown, through which his hair protruded
and his boots revealed a battery of bare toes.
BEEN HAVIN O A HABD TIME.
"Ah. Dame Partington!" exclaimed he,
recognizing her, extending his hand. She
took it and awaited further communication.
"Had a hard time of it," said he; "fun at a
discount among the Dutchmen. Couldn't
understand it. Knocked down hundreds ot
times forpunninff. Bidden on a rail for
joking. Ban lor life scores of times. Every
door closed against me. Paper stopped on
my account. Banished at last with n threat
to hang me if I should return. And here I
am, going home, but devilish poor; and can
you loan me a bit or two to get a bite or
something? See,"
wen, saia sne seriously, "lam sorry
to see yon in such an abstemious condition,
and am surprised that you shoula have been
treated so when all on board the vessel
thought your humor so superfluous."
"The treatment T received in connection
with the Donntrolalt," said he, "was super
fluous, thank you for the word and I could
have dispensed with it altogether; bnt will
you believe it, ma'am, that when I left tne
people gathered to escort me to the line, and
every vegetable raised in the place was
hurled alter me. and hit me, too yams, tan
niers, okroes,- bananas, plantains too nu
merous to mention, very good in their place,
but not agreeable as missiles. Can yon ac
commodate me with a few coins for imme
diate use?",
bringing certain colas to the surface, she de-
MJ
poiited them in his hand. H thanked her,
touched his hat and moved on.
The wedding of May Halsford was to
take place during the time ie:t to her, for
which she made a large wedding cake, and
when the wedding took place she gave her
the "momentum of Corporal Paul," whieh
she begged her to accept as a memento mori
of her regard, The cake was pronounced
the best ever made in the colony.
IEE AND THE PLAO.
Ike was enthusiastic abont going home,
and watched the signal station daily for the
number of the Seven Pollies on tier return
trip. The station was at the lighthouse
within the town, and when a vesel wss in
the offing and her flag distinguished, her
The Victim of Sard Luck.
national flag was hoisted on one fligpole
and her number on the other. At last.when
almost tired of waiting, the American flag
(or what Intended as such, consisting of
three stripes and five stars) was swnng out,
followed by the "number of the brig! The
joy at the arrival of the brig was marred by
the paucity of the ensign.
"Look here," said Ike to the lighthouse
keeper, "what do you mean by hoisting up
a thing like that?"
"What thing?"
"Why that flag. The flag ain't no Amer
iean flag, and you'd better believe if. You're
afraid o: it, that's what's the matter, and
you may have more cause to be yet, I tell
you.'.'
"You little himp," said the man, "get
away with you with your brag or I'll punch
your 'ed."
"You, think you're darned great things,"
said Ike, "but, let me tell you, we've licked
you twice and can do it again. No vou
uuu i, as me man maae a grao at him,
very angry.
"Stop your talk, you little beggar," said
the irate lighthouse tender.
"Whacher goin to do about it?" said Ike.
'"Twas right off here somewhere that 'the
Peacock was sunk in 15 minutes by the
Hornet, and don't yon forget it. Have you
got her up yet?"
This last shot drove the man mad, and he
made a dash fortke, who darted away, leav
ing the irate official to think it over and
cool off.
The length of time permitting the Seven
Pollies to remain in port admitted of ample
preparation, but Ike packed his trunk at
least a (ortnight before time. The time or
parting came at last, and Mrs. Partington,
as she took leave of her friends at the cot
tage, said:
MBS. PAETrNOTON8 GOOD-BYE.
"I am sorry to leave you, we have been
so long assimilated, but the best of friends
must part and the warmest ties be consum
mated. I shall always hold you in the
most flagitious regard. And yon, my dear
May, if you are as happy as I wish you,
there will never be any discrepancy in yonr
The servants came from far and near to
bid goodbye, and then quite a procession of
friends walked down to the wharf to see
them on board the Seven Pollies, whose
colors were hoisted in honor of the occasion.
The trunk had gone down previously upon
a dray.
"Well, auntie," said Captain Si, as she
Bead Punching Threatened.
was helped on board, "no horses this time
flush decks and plenty of room you are the
only passenger and can have the whole cabin
to yourself."
The fasts were loosened and the Seven
Pollies sped awav with the wind aW.
There was a great flutter of handkerchiefs on
the wharf, and Mrs. Partington, standing
alone at the stern rail, waved to the distant
flatterers a benediction with her umbrella.
Ike had seized a white tablecloth from the
cabin table and swung it from the main rig
ging, and soon, the dear ones lost to sight,
the Seven Pollies was alone on the waters.
9
On the morninz oi the eighteenth day the
man stationed aloft sang out, "Light, Hot"
a pilot was taken on board, and by midnight
the Seven Pollies was secured at her berth
at Biverlowu. B. P. SHILLABEB.
WHY HE SnOOK CHICAGO.
A Kalamazoo BInn Exposei a. Tries
of
Windy City merchants.
CblcaKoTrlbniie.3
Luther Xnflin Mills: I had some business
once in Kalamazoo, and while I was wait
ing for the train I whiled the time away by
talking to a yonng man whom I met in a
grocery.store. "Have you always lived in
Kalamazoo?" I asked, by way of starting a
conversation.
"STo," he replied, "I used to lire in Chi
cago." I said I was going to Chicago.
"Live there ?" he asked.
I said I did.
"Well, I don't want any Chicago in
mine," he said, "and I hope it won t get
the Fair."
He seemed so much in earnest that I asked
him what was the cause of bis grievance.
"Well," said he, "I was clerk in a
grocery store down on State street. The
proprietor told me one day to go down in
the basement and do np a pound of tea for a
certain man who lived down Prairie avenue.
I did it, aud wrapped the tea in some com
mon wrapping paper. Abont two hours after
the tea came -back with the information
that the purchaser didn't drink no such
common tea as that. The proprietor took it
in a back room, emptied it'ioto a silk tea
paper, tied it up with a -fanoy card, and
sent ft back. The next day the purchaser
came in aud told the Loss that was the finest
tea he ever tasted in his life, but thai the
first tea wasn't fit for a sick kitten. So I
shook the town."
A Limited Conversation.
Time.
"May Ispeak with you a minute?"
"Yes, if yon don't want more than
dollar."
Thk corner of Broadwavand 29th st. is a
location well adapted for a hotel such as Is the
Sturtevant Home. Its proprietors can never
tell how much, of their success it due to sto
central location.
T
A
WOMEN MEN ADMIBE.
Qualities T&at Attract and Repel the
Lords of Creation. ,
4l
WHEN BEACTI IS FASCINATING.
if
The
Sterner Bex Held Mora to
Public
. Opinion Than the Weaker.
LITTLE THIKGS THAT 60 FOB' MUCH
1 murrza roa nra DtsrxTca.1
In spite of the fact that "many men lave
many minds," and that individual .tastes
differ as greatly as features and tints, yet
thereare certain tastes which are essentially
masculine the world over. We have all
often heard the expression, "Oh, she is jujt
the sort of woman men like 1" and we all
eel an immediate, if secret interest in the
woman so referred to.
Men are the rulers of the world, and to
please them is our aim and desire. Often,
however, their tastes are so paradoxical that
it would require a seven headed Medusa to
respond to all their varied and contradictory
ideas.
That a man likes heanty goes without
wying, as that a bee likes flowers. Bat as
the bee only flutters abont a flower whieh
contains no honey-yielding property, so man
only hovers a brief time abont the beanty
without wit or charm. A man likes a
woman to be capable of talkine- well at
times, bnt he does not care-for the garrulous
girl. A man likes modesty, but he is dis
gusted with mock prudery. He secretly
likes a slightly unconventional girl, but he
is so sensitive to public comment that he is
afraid to openly show his liking for her
unless she is well grounded socially. And
he is quick to censure If she defies the pro-"
prieties or violates absolute good form.
A. man is utterly lacking in independence
regarding these matters, and far more sensi
tive to publio opinion than the weaker sex.
However much he might enjoy the society
of a woman who defied conventional rules
of dress or deportment, he wonld not be seen
in public with, her if he could avoid it.
And a lapse from good morals does not of
fend him so quickly ns a lapse from good
manners. A man likes discretion, bnt he
invites indiscretion from women. In order
to please him in the matter of conduct and
morals, we must do exactly the opposite to
his either bold or subtle suggestions. He
will advise you to he discreet with others,
but tempt you to folly himself merely to
flatter bis own vanity. But he is disap
pointed and disallusioned if von yield.
There are no exceptions to this rule.
THE OIBL "WHO ENJOYS HEB3ELP.
The girl who enjoys herself thoroughly,
and is not afraid to show her enjovment,
always wins more admirers than the languid
beanty who is forever "bored." A man
likes a woman who does not scold him for
smoking, and he is never reformed by one
who does. He likes a little spice of co
quetry in a woman, but he does not like
the professional flirt. He may pursue
her, bat it is for amusement or con
quest, not from admiration. He is afraid of
tne woman who boasts of her conquests. The
woman who tells a man how many proposals
she has received and rejected from his dis
appointed fellowmen destroys his respect for
and confidence in her discretion, and be is
very sure not to add one more proposil to
her list. He likes a hint of daring flashing
through a woman's nature, bnt he wants it
hidden and controlled. Then he enjoys
thinking how be shonld like to develop this
dangerous trait, and congratulates himself
upon being an excellent fellow when he
does not attempt it But he is repelled by
bold dash and venturesomeness in a woman,
for that he believes has beea developed by
some other man, and it is not therefore to
his taste.
The French maiden is told to never lift
her eyes above the second shirt stud of the
gentleman to whom she is listening. This
sort of shyness entertains a man for one or
two occasions; after that or after he has
compelled her eyes to meet bis it bores him.
He likes better the frank, hones'!, direct
gaze of the American girl; bnt the unblush
ing stare of the flirtation-inviting belle is
not to his liking, although he may respond
to it for the sake of adventure.
SYMPATHETIC, CHEEBFTJL, OPTIMISTIC.
A man likes a woman of sympathetic feel
ing and affectionate nature, but he is afraid
of the intensely emotional one. A man
likes a cheerful and optimistic woman,
though he may strive with all his might to
convert her to pessimism. Yet the ready
made cynic in woman's form shocks him.
However erroneous the idea, man regards
woman as the sunlight of life, and expects to
driveaway malarialmists from his mind and
shadows Irom his heart by her warmth and
light.
Men like an accomplished and bright
women rather than a talented one, and en
tertaining and amusing qualities rather
than markedly intellectual ones. A. wise
and tactful woman who desires to be popu
lar with mankind (and she is not wise it she
does not) will keep her intellect subservient
to her graces and charms when in the pres
ence ot men. A man likes a woman's intel
lect to shine brilliantly in its full force only
when great occasions demand it. At other
times he wants it veiled by her beauty and
modesty.
A man likes a woman of independent and
strong character, bnt he is not attracted to
her unless she possesses some feminine weak
nesses. He may admire her as a good com
rade, and even seek her advice, bnt be is
more likely to love and marry the weak.
dinging vine; and after the honeymoon; is
over he not infrequently wastes his. life
secretly longing for or openly seeking the
companionship of the strong character he
passed by. Here, again, let the discreet
woman take warning, and veil the full ex
tent of her self-reliance and strength from
the sight of man till occasion demands re
vealing it. She must keep it 'to surprise
him ever and anon, instead of flaunting it
forever in his eyes.
MATTERS OP DBES3.
A man likes a neat woman and admires
stylish one. He always knows but can
never describe what he likes in the matter
of feminine attire, but it is for the woman
who listens to his comments on her sisters to
discover his tastes. A man censures ex
travagance in women, hut invariably ad
mires expensive garments. He likes a girl
of strong vitality, great endurance and ex
cellent spirits, bat the mannish girl-has
more comrades than admirers. Although
the girl who can sew, embroider and play
the piano possesses eminently domestic ac
complishments, he admires more the girl
who can ride, row and swim. Yet he pre
fers plumpness to muscle. He is annoyed
or disappointed in the girl who tires easily,
and perhaps this is why he enjoys the ath
letically inclined yonng woman rather than
the household deity, with her fancy work
and sideache.
A man mar consider children a great bora
himself, bat he shrinks from a woman who
openly declares her dislike of them. Ha
expects the maternal instinct in woman,
and is disappointed if he does not find it,
and when it strongly exists this feeling wilU
drawhim back to her often when her personal,
charnff no longerjnfluence him. He may
prove a bad fatherand an unloving husbaudj '
yet through her love for bis children .he
often returns to her.
A man prefers temper to sulks, a stora of
tears to a fit of melancholy. He is flattered
by a touch of jealousy occasionally in a
woman's attitude toward him. but ha .is
weaned, and alienated from her if it becomes'
a nualitv of her nature. A man likes 'sirftf I
who speak well of one another, and hrJafMii
pelted or those who declare tfieyjh
women. X.1.I1A rntr.iti.f.it ni
A Painter. .',
Time.
First tramp (waking np) What town?
dis7
Second Tramp Chicago, I guess; I just
heard a man say "We will have it."
N
Hi
X