18
her in his talith, and shielded her ud held
her to his heart, half lifting her and half
supporting her over the rough way.
As they walked, they discoursed more
quietly, as the mood fell on them; and it
now Beemed to Lazarus that he must, if ever,
make knovn to the maiden the mystical
manner ot her rescue. "With some hesita
tion he inquired of her what she remem
bered of the shipwreck.
"The boat oTerturnd and Bebecca
screamed and the slaves cried out. Poor
Bcbeccat I forgot Bebecca. I hope the
Jellows saved her. She did cling upon the
boat. But I fell over into the water and
it was colder than death and I prayed
Jehovah to save me. And then I began to
sink; and some person caught me and that
is all I know."
"Who dost thou suppose saved thee, my
own?" asked Lazarus tenderly, "and how
thinkest thou such a deed was done?"
"Verily, I know not," answered Zahara,
c &rcl ess 1 v
"But who brought thee from the wreck
unto the shore, Zahara? It is a long space
two stadia at least, I think."
Zahara shook her head perplexedly.
"Was it thou?"
"Alas, Zahara. I swam about a boat's
length to thee. The waters beat me back. I
could do no more for thee tnan tny suicen
sail."
"It is singular," said Zahara; "was Jt
one of the slaves?"
"It was the King of Kings!" cried Laz
arus abruptly. Zahara lifted her large,
warm eyes. They looked a little critically
at him" through" the gloom. Was Lazarus
subject to mania? Had the shipwreck dis
ordered his intellect?
There was nothing less to do, and Lazarus
told her the amazing facts. He expected
them to overwhelm Zahara, perhaps to con
vert her to his own faith in the wonderful
rabbi. To his perplexity, Zahara received
the story coolly.
"Thou madest some mistake, my love,"
Bhe answered; "thy fright and the darkness
did deceive thee. Some of the slaves swam
ashore with me."
"Impossible!" cried Lazarus, "He whom
I name did walk the sea and carry thee, and
lay thee at my feet and disappear. Sawest
thou ever a slave do that?"
"Some of these fellows have wonderful
art," said Zahara incredulously. "They do
extraordinary things."
Zahara's beautiful face lifted to Lazarus
bore tiie highbred, skeptical expression of
the cultivated doubter. Lazarus was terribly
pained by it for the moment. Then she
smiled, and he kissed her and forgot it lor
the light ot Capernaum gleamed shrough
the night, suddenly, at a curve in the shore,
and yonder was the villa, and they must
part who knew when? who knew how, to
meet again?
CHAPTER XIV. .
ZAHARA MAKES HIM OUT A HEBO.
When Lazarus and Zahara reached the
town the last trace of the storm had ceased.
The stars were out and their cold light
glanced upon the subsiding waves un
sympathetically. The lake wore her com
monplace face. Banger was gone, as sud
denly as it had come. Boats were out in
search of the shipwrecked party.
The streets were nearly vacant, for all
who could leave their homes were crowded
on the beach. Lazarus and Zahara entered
the town unnoticed, as separate and safe as
two ghosts. Had they in fact gone down in
the lake that wild night, and had their
spirits returned from their drowned bodies
to mingle with the living, they could not
have met a more qniet receptio . This,
under the circumstances, was delightful.
They clung to each other as they trod the
open roads, and in the shadow of houses
they lingered to exchange the maddening
kisses of love and separation. The young
man lilted the maiden and helped her
wearied feet along; and she had clung to
him haughty Zahara! and nestled to him,
as he said, "like a little slave."
She was so wet, and now began to be so
chilly, that he hurried as fast as might be
with her toward her father's villa, staying
for nothing, not even to search for the High
Priest upon the shore; for Lazarus felt that
the more qnickly and quietly the maiden
should be restored to her home, the better
pleased the old man would be.
Within the wnlls of her own garden,
Zahara toot her last touch from her lover's
lips.
Whericould there be another moment like
this! She clung to him, delaying its agony
and ecstacy, and had well-nigh unmanned
him by her emotion.
"Oh, my lord," murmured Zahara, "I am
the happiest woman, and I am the saddest
woman in all Judea."
"And I tbe proudest man, and the most
wretched in all the world."
"Farewell, my own, sweet, my lord, fare
well. I give thee my lace, aud'my lips. I
give thee lor the last time!"
"Then shall there be a thousand last
times!" vowed Lazarns, "for I will tafce
nothing less of earth and heaven than thee,
Zahara."
"But how, fair sir, wilt thou get me?
"Verily, I know the High Priest, my father.
His will standcth lite an open tomb between
us."
"Then into it I step!" cried the lover,
"but I will have thee. The man who loveth
as I love. Zahara, becometh as a God. He
taketh cower into his soul and into his body,
that other men know net. He createth and
he destroyeth, and means and hindrances
are not to him as unto common men. Thou
crown est him with thy love, and he is a
king. Thou givest him the treasure of thy
life, and he hath divinity. Leave the way
to me, Zahara, but mine thou shaltbe. Nor
will I be contented with the least of thee,
nor a portion ot thee, but I will have all,
Zahara, as Heaven hears me!"
Zahara made him no answer in so far as
the answer of words counteth, but she lifted
to him lips tnat a man might have died for,
and clasped him with arms that a king
might have lived for; and Lazarus spoke no
more, but trembling with their love and
grief they passed on silently across the de
serted gardens,, and so Lazarus bore ber to
her lather's house.
Great agitation prevailed in the villa.
The officers and servants hurried to and Iro,
going on fruitless "errands, and ordered
wildly about by a distracted old man, whom
some one had been discreet and powerfnl
enough to lead home. He was said to have
become quite useless on the shore, having
become Irantic with grief when the storm
shut the lake from sight, and the persistent
refusals of the bystanders to man a relief
boat in the height of the gale, emphasized
the desperateness of the situation to his
mind. The High Priest was accustomed to
being obeyed, to controlling masses of peo
ple, to achieving the difficult or apparently
impossible, and it took him longer than it
would an ordinary man to understand that
his daughter was probably drowning, and
that nobody could save her.
The house -was abundantly ligthed for an
Eastern honse of those times; the old man
ordered candles and lamps scattered every
where; he seemed to believe that the boat
might perceive tbe light the house stand
ing so high and being visible from the lake
and cheated himself with this pitiiul ex
pedient, while his messengers were running
to and fro between the lake and the villa
with commands and reports. At the mo
ment when Zahara arrived, the news had
preceded her that the pleasure boat had been
round capsized, with one of its occupants
clinging thereto. This was Bebecca, the
handmaid, who accidentally had been
caught in one of tbe ropes of the boat and so
had been rescued and brought ashore. Of
her mistress, who was pitching violently iu
the raging sea, nothing could be lound. The
oarsmen were gone. The two slaves whom
the High Priest had ordered off from shore
iu a rescuing boat had been swamped and
drowned; but this incident scarcely excited
any remark. Human life, at best, was.cheap
in those days; and slave life a cipher in the
sum.
Annas stood in his brightly lighted por
tico, a trembling, weakened old mantaspale
ss any of his drowned slaves at that moment
tossing in the lake. The messengers
from the beach had torches, and their wild
flare shot over the High Priest's face and
figure. He presented a piteous picture.
'When some one Irom the rear of the group
pushed forward the drenched nnd weeping
Rebecca, the excitement -of the" Vretched
father culminated in an outcry which shook
the souls of those who heard it:
"Ton andnotshel Your miserable life
of less value than the least tassel that tossed
upon the silken fringes of her garraentsl
How dare you show your paltry iace above
the waters that have overwhelmed hers?
The least you could have done were to have
gone to your doom beside her. It was the
last a"t of service you could render to your
mistress. Shame upon you, that you did it
not! A curse upon the miserable crew of
you that had the impertinence to live when
death selected Zahara!"
"Father," said a rich, deep voice from
the shadow of the garden, "do not scold
poor little Bebecca. It was no fault of
hers; and I am quite safe."
Zahara stepped forward in her stately
way; she stood as calmly as a Greek statue
in a heathen temple, and with a very simi
lar grace. Iu the outcry and confusion that
followed her sudden appearance Zahara
maintained a supreme quiet, which acted
powerfully upon the excited scene.
In point ot fact she was elevated above it
by excitement beside which this looked
small to her. The experience of the last
hour seemed to the girl to belittle all oth
ers. What was this fret and chatter about
human life compared to the existence of
such a love as she and he who loved her
knew? ,
The pure face of Zahara, pale with emo
tion, shone brilliantly; her dripping white
robes caught the glare of the torches and
flung it hack. She seemed to scintillate, as
she stood there, lite a great gem, many
facetid, and nobly set. A weaker woman,
or a less royally builded one would have
sunk with exhaustion by this time, fainted
in her lather's arms or sobbed like Be
becca the slave.
Zahara had never felt so strong in her
lifat The kisses of her lover bumed yet
upon her rich lips. Her chilled blood
tingled with his last caress. His firm, im
perious hand had but just new released her
own, as he helped her forward boldly
into the group, and stood reverently but in
sistently beside her, that he might lead her
to her father's breast. His presence was
fire', light, warmth, food, strength, life.
Zahara felt lilted above everything. She
leared no one. Tbe High Priest was no
more formidable than anv common father.
She ran into his arms like any plebeian
daughter and fondled him girlishly, and
Annas, lite any Unimportant parent, broke
down and wept, and clasped the girl and
blessed her, and blessed the God of his
Priesthood and of his people for her dear
life.
"And behold." cried Zahara, "him who
did save the life of thv daughter, O my
fatherl"
Lazarus uttered an involuntary protest
This movement of Zahara's was totally un
expected to him. Who could connl upon
Zahara? WhatwasLazarus to do? Words
sprang to his lips, he knew not what; honest,
manly, mad denial. But Zahara turned
her high head and gave him one look. That
look sealed his lies. It said more than man
could battle against; or more than he conld
fight against at that exhausted moment. Of
the two, the young man seemed more ex
hausted than the woman.
"The lady doth overestimate my slight
assistance," murmured Lazarus, bowing be
fore the High Priest, "bntl was so fortunate
as to be able to help her across a difficult
portion of the shore, which I did to the best
of my poor ability."
At this instant something tingled at the
young man's feet. Stupidly he stood staring
down. A brilliant bauble shone on the wet
pavement; his foot all but crushed it as he
moved to examine the thing. '
"Pray, sir," said Zahara imperiously, "be
so courteous as to pick up for me the brace
let which has fallen from my arm."
As Lazarus stooped to do this the lady
bent a little above him or toward him that
she might receive tbe trinket a glittering
band of emerald and jacinth from his hand.
In doinz so she contrived to breathe a few
words, inandible to any ear but that of the
maddest love or the wildest jealousy, but
perfectly distinct to the bewildered and per
plexed youag man.
"Contradict me not. Who saveth the
daughter, serveth the lather. For love's sake,
leave the matter to me."
"Father," added Zahara, "I have been
thanking tbe yonng man for my own part,
for my debt to him is mighty. See thou to
it, for thine own part now, that his high
deed is well regarded, for I am wet and
weary, and would get me among my maidens
and seek rest. Thy daughter would have
been tossing yonder in the lake with thy
doomed slaves, O my father, but for his
valor and his strength who has returned me
to thine arms. I know not how he did the
deed," added Zahara with an apparent sim
plicity which was none the less effective be
cause it happened to be the truest thing she
said. "I cannot tell thee how I am saved;
but saved I am, and by his hand whom I do
honor for the doing of it, I am restored to
thee. If be swam for me," concluded
Zahara prettily, "he is a mighty man. At
all events, I do know him for a brave one
and an honorable, and I do bless him in thy
hearing and that of all thy household, and
now farewell, good sir. A woman's grati
tude go with you! Mv father, sir, will
entertain you for my sake and for that of
the service you have done to the house of
the High Priest in the salvation of my poor
life."
With these words Zahara departed very
gracefully and sweetly, with her maidens;
leaving the astounded Lazarus to his con
science and his perplexity and the High
Priest.
Annas advanced to him with outstretched
arms. His venerable conntenance stirred
with powerful emotions; these contradicted
each other and made a battle-ground of his
eyes and lips. The two men regarded each
other with the mingled impressions usual to
their meetings. Each attracted to' each,
midway of his attraction met repulsion; or
perhaps it were truer to call it dlstrnst or re
coil. Annas could not explain why he held
such reserved opinions of the young man to
whom he felt consciously drawn. But Laz
arus knew quite well why he shrank from
the High Priest, the powerful enemy of the
religious movement dear to so many of the
middle and lower classes of Jewish society;
and yet, why he could have loved Annas,
the fatherot" Zahara. On that night the two
came together, swiftly and heartily. The
tide of the occasion swept distrust away.
Father-love and lover's love united them in
stinctively. The High Priest overwhelmed
tbe yonng man witn expressions or gratitude
for the rescue of his daughter.
"Nay, but I deserve not such tribute of
the High Priest," protested Lazarus in em
barrassment. "What I have done was but
a tri8e. You do overrate my share in the
salvation of tbe lady."
"You speak courteously, sir," replied the
High Priest, waving the protest away wiih
a magnificent hand, "but the word of my
daughter suffices. I recognize in you the
savior of her life, and I pray you to allow
me to regard von in accordance with the
facts."
Lazarus was silent from sheer perplexity.
How should he contradict the testimony of
Zahara and to her lather? What should
he, what could he do?
"By your leave," he answered with some
awkwardness, "I will now return to my
kahn. I had torgotten the circumstances
but verily, I believe I am wet also, as to my
garments. I should seek shelter and rest.
"And by your leave," returned the High
Priest with great cnrtliness of manners,
"you will seek no sbelter while you remain
at Capernaum, save the roof of the High
Priest, father to Zahara, whose life you have
preserved."
( To be continued nest Sunday.
THIET1 PEE CENT DEDUCTION.
One of the Tricks or Trade Pointed Oat by
n Merchant.
Tea Dealer in Globe-Democrat.
There are tricks in all trades but mine,
and one which some people call a trick is
always worked in the china business. A
merchant will display his tea set or toilet
set with a sign reading IS or 16 pieces for a
nominal price, but when you purchase you
find that your bargain has vanished. A soup
dish, lid and separator bottom counts three
pieces, a cup and saucer counts two, a but
ter dish and lid counts two. and a tureen, lid
and ladle counts three, so that when you see
a sign reading 127 pieces you can count on a
30 per cent subtftfction.?- 'setf-an '
COOUNG FOR" LENT.
Choice Dishes Vouched for by Promi
nent Washington Ladies.
STATESMEN'S WIVES AT MARKET.
Hrs. Bayne'g Dumplings, Urs. Wanamater'a
Salads and Other Recipes.
PUNCH THAT REQUIRES MODERATION
tCOKKISPOSDIHCZ OT THX SISrJLTCB.1
Washington, February 22. The best
cooks of the United States are found in
Washington. There is no .place in the
country where good dinners are more prized
and more eaten. The wives of our most
noted statesmen spend a part of every day
in the kitchen. Most of them have invented
new disbes and all have learned their les
sons in the great cooking school of experi
ence. Even the mistress of the White
House boasts that she can prepare a dinner
from soup to dessert and every one of the
Cabinet ladies tell me that they can broil a
steak or baste a roast.
I see scores of Senators wives iu the market
every morning and I noted Mrs. Secretary
Windom the other day holding a fowl to the
light to see if tbe flesh was white. Near by
her Mrs. Attorney-General Miller was pric
ing some celery and Mrs. Senator Sherman
was at another counter testing a leg of
mutton. Mrs. John A. Logan is often seen
in the markets. Sam Bandall, before he
was sick, went with his wife to buy the
meats for his own dinner-table and I have
seen Senator Stanford walking along with
his Chinese steward from meat stall to meat
stall and with those fingers which can sign
a check for 510,000,000 feeling the raw red
flesh to see if it be tender.
During the next six weeks of Lent there
will be a change in these Washington mar
kets. The ladies will gather around the
fish counters, and even in the honses of
those statesmen who belong neither to the
Episcopal nor the Catholic Churches,
Lenten dishes will be largely used. McKim,
the White House steward, intends to serve
eggs oftener for breakfast, and he pro
poses to use lobster and shrimp salads for
his lunches. President " Harrison likes
baked fish, and the succulent shad will be
frequently on the table of the White House,
while the Vice President will carry out the
rules of his Episcopalian faith, and will
stick to Lenten dishes.
GOOD HEALTH IN KEEPING LENT.
There is good sense in the keeping of
Lent as far as eating is concerned. A lead
iug Senator's wife tells me that it makes her
blood better to stick to fish, eggs and lighter
dishes during the spring, and a noted Gen
eral's wife ascribes her good health to her
observance of Lent During the past week
I have gathered for your readers recips for
Lenten dishes, and the wives of statesmen
and generals have been called upon to give
their experiences for the kitchens of your
readers. I start my list with a fish chowder
from the White House. It is a dish for a
king. The President's wife has prepared
the recipe for me, and her experience shows
it to be good:
Cnt a medinm-sized shad or white fish, three
or four potatoes, one onion and a quarter of a
pound of bacon into small pieces. Fry tbe ba
con and onion a light brown. Put a layer ot
potatoes in tbe saucepan, over that a layer of
tbe fish, then a sprinkling of onions and bacon,
then a layer of tomatoes, sprinele with pepper
and salt, alternating the layers until all is in.
Add enough water to cover, place over a mod
crate fire and let simmer 25 minutes. Boll one
piDt ot milk, thickening It with cracker
crumbs. Let it stand a moment and then add
to tbe chowder. Now stir for the first time,
let boil an instant, season if not strong to taste,
and serve hot. Caroline S. Harbison.
HOT MBS. WANAMAKEB BAKES SHAD.
There is a chef in the Wanamaker man
sion whom tbey have had for years, but
when any great affair is in progress the mis
tress of the house sends for a caterer to as
sist. She gives orders for the three meals ot
a day in the morning and has not that awe
of her cook which Vanderbilt had of his.
She dares go into the kitchen, and, greater
presumption still iu this day of $10,000
chefs, gives verbal instruction to each new
cook of tbe cookery of pertain dishes which
might almost be called Wanamaker dishes,
so long have they served them in tbe family.
One of these is baked shad, and the art of
preparing it Mrs. Wanamaker learned from
her grandmother, and has had it for break
fast in the springtime ever since she was
mistress of a modest little cottage in Ger
mantown and her husband was getting
1,000 a year instead of who knows how
many thousands Mr. John Wanamaker
gets now? The "shad breakfast" at Linden
hurst is known to all of Mrs. Wanamaker's
friends and many a one drops in accident
ally when the fish, about which General
Sherman queries where it got meat to cover
its bones, is served.
Another favored dish is lobster in terrapin
style, and although it has been served for
years on her table, Mrs. Wanamaker does
not claim its origination, A Delmonico
was its creator.
MADEIRA WINE GOES IN.
Split two good-sized, fine, freshly boiled lob
sters. Pick all the meat from out tbe shells,
then cut it into one-Inch length equal pieces.
Place it in a sance pan on the hot range with
one ounce of very good fresh butter. Season
with one pinch of salt and half a saltspoonful
ot red pepper, adding two medium-sized, sound
truffles cut into small disk-shaped pieces. Cook
for live minutes, then add a wioeglassful of
good Madeira wine. Reduce to one half, which
will take three minutes. Have three egg yolks
in a bowl witn half a pint of sweet cream, beat
well together and add to it the lobster. Gently
shuffle for two minutes longer, or until it
thickens well. Pour it into a hot tureen and
serve! hot. Mrs. John Wanamaker.
There is an old Spanish saw that it takes
four persons to make a good salad a spend
thrift mnst ponr the oil and a miser the
vinegar, a barrister must sprinkle the salt
and a madman must stir the mixture. Mrs.
Bobert McKee, the daughter of the Presi
dent, gives the ingredients of a good salad,
but the cook -who will make it properly
must be guided by the proverb:
Boil one dozen crabs 30 minutes, adding a lit
tle salt to the water. When cold pick out the
meat. Make a mayonnaise dressing as follows:
Beat the yolks of two eggs, add pepper, salt
and mustard and mix well togetaer. Then
slowly add half a pint of olive oil or enough to
thicken the dressing. If too thick add a few
drops of lemon juice or vinegar. Great care
should be exercised in pouring the oil, as it will
curdle if poured too fast. Now mix the crab
meat and tbe mayonnaise together. Garnish a
dish with crisp lettuce leaves or water cresses,
place the crabs In tbe center and serve.
Mart Harbison McKbe.
mes. senatob quay's deviled ceabs.
Mrs. Senator Quay says that all her fam
ily have "the sweet tooth" and her cookery
therefore is in tbe line of desserts, but she
has one recipe that may be put with the
Lenten dishes although a fasting friar would
need to pass it by. It is ;
Boll one dozen crabs for 20 minutes, when
cold pick. Three eggs well beaten, two table
spoonfuls Vienna bread crnmbs,four of melted
butter, one of olive oil, one tablespoonful of
chopped parsley. Season witn salt and pepper.
Mix all together using cream to moisten and
put back the shells which should be clean and
dry. Din In beaten eggs andt Vienna bread
crumbs and fry In hot lard to cover.
There is a delicious omelette which often
times comes on tbe Quay breakfast table:
Whites of six eggs, yolks of three, juice of
balf a lemon, three taolespoonfnls powdered
sugar. Grease a quart baking dish with butter.
Now beat the whites to a very stiff froth, beat
the yolks, add them carefully to the whites, then
tbe sugar and juice of lemon, stir carefully and
quickly heap into baking dish, powder over
with sugar and put Into the oven. Bake IS
minutes or until a golden brown and serve hot.
AGNES B. Q,UAT.
MES. MOEBILL'S DEVILED EGGS.
There is a Green Mountain flavor about
all the dishes served oh the table of Senator
Justin S. Morrill, of Vermont. Mrs. Mor
rill is an invalid, and her sister, Miss Swan,
oversees the house here and also the country
home in Vermont. She gives a dainty dish
for a Lenten luncheon tabic:
Boil one dozen eggsnard, remoyo the shells
and cut In halves, lengthwise., .Take out , the
yolks, mix them to asffiootff paste'wtth'hall'k
THE PITTSBURG- DISPATCH,
teaspoonful of mustard, salt and cayenne pep
per to taste, and a generous teaspoonful of
Worcestershire sauce. Fill tbe whites with
this mixture and serve on a bed of lettuce
leaves, which should be carefully selected. ;
L. a Swan.
Mrs. Senator Beagan, of Texas, gives a
recipe for a catsup that is especially appe
tizing with baked white fish:
One peck of ripe tomatoes, peel and slice.
Add six good-sized onions sliced fine. Lay in a
jar first a layer of tomatoes, then a layer of
onions. Add a little salt with each layer, let
stand over night, then boil well, stirring almost
constantly. When done add .two pints, one
pint of vinegar and two garlics chopped fine.
Add also red pepper, cinnamon, cloves, spice
and ginger, all ground fine. Bottle for use.
Mrs. John R. Reagan.
MBS. B0SWELL P. FLOWEB'S OYSTERS.
Mrs. Boswell P. Flower, wife of New
York's millionaire Congressman, supervises
her kitchen with as much interest as the
wife of a poorer man. Her private table is
one of the best appointed in Washington,
and on it are many dishes that wonld de
light a bon vivant. She has any number of
recipe books, and on all the blank pages are
written in her own handwriting the recipes
for the dishes which have pleased her at
different hotels:
Blanch a dozen oysters in their own liquor,
salt and remove the oysters, add a tablespoon
f nl of butter, the jnice of half a lemon, a gill of
cream and a tablespoonful of flour. Beat up
tbe yolk of an egg while the sauce is simmer
ing; add the egg and simmer the whole nntil it
thickens. Place the oysters in a hot dish, pour
the sauce over them, sprinkle a little chopped
parsely on top and send to table. To blanch an
oyster is to cook it till it puffs up.
Sabah M. Floweb.
Here is her way of dressing fish:
Half pound of butter, half can tomatoes,
stew for one-half hour. One tablespoonful of
walnnt catsup, one tablespoonful ot Worces
tershire sance, or two tablespoon! uls ot chow
chow, add sliced lemon very thin.
MBS. blaib's cobnmeal mush.
Mrs. Senator Blair is one of the fiest cooks
of the capital. She gives me a recipe for
what is known in Vermont as "New En
gland Indian Pudding," and I doubt
whether the title of corn mush is appropriate
for it. The recipe is warranted, and it has
gained Senator Blair hundreds of votes for
his education bill. Here it is:
Two quarts of milk, onecnp of meal, one cup
ot molasses, half enp of sugar, one teaspoonful
of salt, one teaspoonful of cinnamon or ginger,
two eggs. Heat one quart ot the milk "milk
warm," then slowly stir in the meal and keep
stirring gently until it thickens, but does not
quite boil. Remove from the stove and add the
molasses, sugar, salt and spice. Then beat the
eggs well and stir them In. Pour into tbe pud
ding dish, remove the mixing spoon and turn
the second quart of milk in. Send immediately
to the oven without mixing, and cook steadily
five hours. Eliza N. Blair.
Mrs. Cushman K. Davis is another good
cook, and, though she comes from Minne
sota, she can cook oysters equal to the best of
tbe Baltimore chefs. Here is her recipe for
one of her dishes. She heads it "Plain
Broiled Oysters on Toast:"
Take tbe largest oysters obtainable. Brush
tbe wire oyster broiler with softened butter, lay
In tbe oysters and broil over a hoc fire two or
three minutes, basting once on each side with
batter bush. Dish side by side on a long slfce
of buttered toast in a dish. Garnish with lemon
and parsley. Mrs. C. K. Davis.
JUSTICE STRONG'S BONED CHICKEN.
This dish is not a Lenten dish, but it is so
good that it will, I donbt not, cause many a
cook to sin. It comes from Miss strong, the
daughter of the retired Justice, and it is well
worth the trying. The recipe reads:
Cut np a chicken into quite small pieces, skin
it and pour over three pints of cold water. Boil
it until tne bones slip out of the meat easily,
then take out all the meat, throw back the
bones to boll in the liquor longer. Chop the
meat with the rind of one lemon, having
squeezed the juice into the boiling liquor. Pnt
the meat, well seasoned, into a jelly mold, and,
when the liquor is boiled down folly one-half,
strain it over the meat in the mold. Next morn
ing turn out and serve with salad.
Julia Darling Strong.
I have received a number of letters from
ladies asking for punch recipes; and though
the subject of drinks hardly comes under
Lenten dishes, the pious can lay these
recipes aside until after Easter. The more
worldly will certainly appreciate them
Mrs. General Bicketts was for years one of
the leading entertainers of Washington, and
here is a recipe which has tickled the palates
and stomachs of Generals, Judges and
statesmen. It is no baby drink, and it
should be taken in moderation.
GO CAUTIOUSLY ON THIS.
Pour three quarts of boiling water over three
pounds of sugar. Add one pint of lemon juice,
one pint of fine brandy or a quart of Jamaica
rum. Mix well, and before usingstir in one
half pint of peach brandy or cordial. This will
make you a gallon and three-quarters of very
nice punch.
A claret Dunch made by one of the leading
ladies of Washington is more' of a tem
perance drink. It is as follows :
Take the thin rind ot three lemons, three
ponnds of sugar, add one tablespoonful of
brown cinnamon, one-half tablespoonful of
ground cloves and tno grated nutmegs. Pour
over this compound two quarts of boiling
water and let it stand one hour nntil thor
oughly mixed. Belore serving add one-half
pint of ram and three bottles ot claret, and you
will have a gallon of punch. Slice three oranges
and put them In a punch bowl, and the dish
will be beautiful as well as appetizing.
Some time ago a church fair in Washing
ton gathered a number of recipes from noted
women and one of the leading ladies of the
Capital made a cook book of them and sold
it at the lair. The book is very interesting,
and I take three or four of its most noted
recipes to accompany those which I have
gathered for this letter.
MRS. TOM BATHE'S APPLE DUMPLINGS.
Here, for instance, is the way that Mrs.
Tom Bayne makes apple dumplings:
Boil three large potatoes, mash and work in a
lump of batter tbe size of an egg, one cup of
milk, stir In with a spoon flour enough to work
up with the hand, cut in pieces and wrap
around the apples. Tie in cloths and boll hard
for an hour.
Mrs. Sherman uses this recipe for delicate
cake:
One pound of sugar (light weight), one
pound of flour (light weight), a little more than
half a pound of butter, whites of 16 eggs
beaten to a stiff froth, beat butter and sugar to
a cream, and add tbe flour and eggs alter
nately nntil all aro used. Flavor with peach or
lemon. Bake in a moderately quick oven. No
baking powder.
Miss Grundy, Jb.
COULDN'T SPOIL THE QUINTET.
Why a YonnctcT Wouldn't Sell Himself for
Three Hundred Dollars.
Harper's Young People.)
A little boy of 5 went with his mother to
make a call. The lady of the house, who
was very fond of children, told him she in
tended to ask his mother to let her have
him. "Don't you think that your mother
would let me buy you?" she asked.
"No," he said, "you haven't got money
enough."
"How much would it take?" she asked.
"Three hundred dollars," he answered
promptly; "and you haven't got that much."
"I think I could manage it," she said.
"If I can, will you come to me?"
"No," he said, -with decision, "mamma
wouldn't sell me, anyhow. There are five
of us, and mamma wouldn't like to break
the set."
A Care for Rheumatic Gonr.
"For several years," says John Park, of
Beaver Creek, Minn., "during the winter, I
have been troubled with a painful swelling
of the feet, which physicians claimed was
rhuematic gout. I wop treated by some of
our best physicians, and obtained but little,
if any, relief and used many so-called
"cures," without benefit. During the win
ter of 1887, when my feet were so swollen
and inflamed that I could, cot wear my
boots, I commenced using Chamberlain's
Pain Balm. The first application reduced
tbe swelling and inflammation, and the use
of one 60 cent bottle so completely relieved
me, that I discontinued my canes and was
able to get around all right and wear
my boots." CO cent bottles for sale
by E. G. Stuckey, Seventeenth and
Twenty-fourth streets, Penn avenue and
corner Wvlie avenue and Fulton street;
MarkellBros., corner Penn and Frankstown
avenues; Theodore JS. lhng, 3010 Fifth ave
nue; Carl Hartwig, Forty-fhird and Butler
streets, Pittsburg, and iu Allegheny by E.
E. Heck, 72 and 194 Federal street; Thomas
B. Morris, corner Hanover and Preble ave
nues; F. H. Eggers, 172 Ohio street, and F.
H. Eggers Ss Son, 199 Ohio street and 11
-8mlthfiel6Vstreets at e o.t n: bi biwwsu "
SUNDAY, " FEBRUARY
A SEA ROYER'S HOME.
The Dramatic History of Pitt's, Island
in tbe South Pacific.
PEOPLED BI A WHALER'S FAMILY.
Misfortunes of the Crew of an English
Barque in Antarctic Seas.
LIFE AMONG THE SATAGE ISLABDERS
rWBITTXir JOB TRX DISFJLTCH. !
In the early part of the present century
some of the best whaling in the world was to
be had in the South seas, especially in that
part of the Pacific Ocean which lies between
the Antarctic- Ocean and the Tropic of
Capricorn, in Polynesia. The confines of
the Antarctic itself abounded in whales, but
the terrors of that appalling region deterred
all but the stoutest hearts, and of those who
ventured the majority never returned. The
warmer waters to the southeast of New Hol
land, however, though stormy enough at
some seasons of the year, not only afforded
excellent fishing, but were dotted with num
berless islands where the whalers might re
cruit after the hardships of their long
cruise, refit their ships and lay in provisions
for the return voyage to England or Amer
ica. Even the lossof their ships did not de
bar them from pursuing their trade, for the
whales came so near the land that they
were easily hunted and killed by boats'
crews belonging to whaling stations on
shore, where the blubber was tried down
and the oil sold to vessels that called for
that purpose.
The whaling in those seas came to an end
very speedily throngh the greediness and
thecruel folly of the whalers themselves.
Bulls, cows and calves were mercilessly har
pooned or driven ashore and cut to pieces;
and, as whales, for all their bulk, are among
the most timid of creatures, they soon fled
to the Antartic fastnesses and are now rarely
seen where formerly they were as common
as porpoises. The haunts of the old whalers,
however, are still to be seen, and many of
them are interesting.. It is one of these that
I had in my mind when I took pen in hand
to describe a sea rover's home.
TBE ENOLlSn SEA BOVEB.
George the Third was still on the throne,
though blind and idiotic, and the wars be
tween England and America were scarcely
at an end, when Captain William Pitt, of
the barque Orion, went a-whaling in the
South seas. He was a stern, strong man
whom no dangers could affright; and was
one of the few bold spirits -who sailed as
near to the South Pole as it 'was possible to
go. His first voyage to the Antarctic was
very successful, and he not only brought
back the first news of huge volcanoes.spout
ing smoke and flame above the perpetual
snow, but also a full ship of the best oil and
quantities of ivory. On his second trip,
however, the fate which he had so often de
fied overtook him with relentless fury. The
Orion got icebound and half his crew died
of scurvy or want. When at last the ship
got free she was so badly squeezed that it
was only by hauling a cable round her that
he managed to keep her afloat When he
got to the rendezvous where fresh provisions
and appliances for repairs should have been
found, the place was totally bare. Some
strangers had been there and consumed or
carried off everything.
Captain William Pitt saw he was in trou
ble. But he was not a man to perish so long
as a chance for life was lefc He gave his
exhausted crew a couple ot day? rest and a
leed of that sour grass which covers the half
frozen cliffs of the Antarctic islands, and
then, having patched up the Orion as well
as he could, he set his tattered sails to a
southerly breeze and let her drive before it.
BROKE LIKE A BOX OF MATCHES.
The breeze not only held, but increased
tremendously. It grew to a gale and the
gale grew to a hurricane. The Orion plunged
and strained and on the fifth night she went
to pieces on an unknown shore like a box of
matches spilt upon the floor.
It always took a good deal to astonish
Captain Wiliiam Pitt, but he freely ac
knowledged afterward that he was somewhat
taken by surprise when, on the quarter-deck
going from under him and the boiling surf
carrying him away, he found himself being
dragged up a steep bank by a number of
people talking a strange tongue. They car
ried him to a hut where there was a fire, and
then he saw that they were black or copper
colored, but not at all bad looking. He
found that he was on the largest of a group
oi little islands, with no other land in sight
in any direction. The second mate and five
seamen of theOrion had reached shore alive.
Captain Pitt called the island Pitt's Island,
and took possession of It. It is still in the
Pitts' possession.
Captain Pitt built as comfortable and
SDacious a dwelling as any retired nautical
gentleman could desire. He even set up a
flagstaff with a topmast in front of the house,
and, the signal chest having been recovered,
he proudly hoisted the British ensign to in
dicate the sovereignty of William Pitt.
As soon as the Captain's house was fin
ished, the mate and the sailors were allowed
to build cabins lor themselves on a plan
provided by their commander and with his
brawny and capable assistance, the natives
furnishing the mere labor for carrying up
timber or bringing down materials irom tbe
forest. Before many weeks were over, there
waB quite a cosy little village perched on
the terrace overlooking the bay, whilst all
the stores and everything else of any value
that had come ashore from the wreck were
safely stowed in a large cave in the rocky
cliff, over the mouth ot which a shed of
rushes had been built.
PLENTY OF FOOD TO BE HAD.
By this time all the poor natives' scanty
stock of provisions, consisting of dried shell
fish and sweet potatoes, were exhausted, and
the question arose of supplying the en
larged community with food. The diffi
culty, however, was not at all serious. The
natives had no boat except a flimsy canoe in
which they dared not venture into open wa
ter, though it served them for fishing in the
bay; but Captain Pitt, with his two fine
whaleboats for the damaged one had been
repaired was master oi the sitnation. Sail
ing ronnd the island he found multitudes of
sea birds on the rocky islets to the south
ward, huge albatrosses and mollymawks.
and a aozen different kinds of gulls and
penguins, sitting on innumerable eggs, and
far too unaccustomed to human beings to
take the slightest notice of the intruders,
Here was an endless supply of fresh
poultry and omelettes, whilst a number
of large brown seals, lying lazily on the
swampy slopes of the islets, fnrnished
abundance of fat meat, besides skins use
ful for all sorts of purposes. The
wild cabbage or turnip, which is the
universal remedy for scurvy in all those
seas, grew all around; and palm trees, with
a heart like celery or lettuce, bnt sweeter
and more substantial, were numerous in the
forest. The islands, in fact, proved to be
teeming with wholesome food, which, added
to the ship's stores, amply provided all the
wants ot both whites and natives. The fat
ter speedily became entirely subservient to
the newcomers, who treatedthem simply as
slaves. Though they strongly objected to
work, .and sometimes threw themselves down
or hid in the woods for days, they were
easily frightened into submission or pre
vailed upon by trifling presents. There
were among them
TWO TOUNO WOMEN,
by no means uncomelr, who, as far as could
be ascertained, were unappropriated bless
ings, and these, in conrse of time, the mate
and a young seaman took to wile, Captain
Pitt officiating, as if he had been on board
his ship, and supplying an exceedingly
binding Carriage service of his own compo
sition, in lieu ot that ordained by the lit
urgy. The nitives, with whom the whalers soon
found a means of communicating by a sort
of "half-language," eked out by signs and
natural sounds, were constantly talking of
'some country or place called' Waitans:i.'
23, 1890.
lying, as they indicated, to the northwest.
That, they said, was where they came from.
One day a large canoe, carrying SO or 40
men and women and impelled by two broad
sails of a kind of matting, made its appear
ance on the bay. It turned out that once a
year the natives of Waitangi visited tbe
group of islands which Captain Pitt had an
nexed to obtain a peculiar kind of sea bird,
which is found there in countless flocks
in the fall of tbe year, when it is exceedingly
fat, and which, being cured in its own
grease and packed in baskets or pots, forms
the staple article of winter diet of the popu
lation of Waitangi and other places. These
people told Captain Pitt that there were
whites at Waitangi, women as well as men,
and gave him such an account of the place
that he resolved to visit it. He found it in
habited by natives like tbose who had come
with him and who received a hearty wel
come. He found there, too, a whaling sta
tion occupied by a family of very'rough cus
tomers indeed. Bough or smooth, however,
they were white and some of them were fe
males. The captain chose the strongest And
least homely of the latter, and having urged
his suit in his own authoritative way. made
her Mrs. Pitt according to the ritual he had
himself established, and carried her back to
his island together with a boatload of stores,
implements and otherthings which he badly
wanted.
HE WENT INTO BUSINESS.
From that time forward Pitt's Island be
came known by repnte among the South Sea
whalers, and once in two or three years a
ship wonld call there. Pitt himself organ
ized a whaling crew and a trying-down es
tablishment and often got a great many fish,
so that whenever he received a visit from a
vessel he always had something to sell, or
rather to barter for goods. He soon learned
that Waitangi was the native name of the
group which the great circumnavigator.
Captain Cook, had named the Chatham
Islands, after Pitt's own "relative," Will
iam Pitt, Earl of Chatham, a circumstance
which caused him intense pride and delight;
and that his owe islands as well as the
Cbatbams were included in the boundaries
of the newly acquired British colony of New
Zealand, though separated from it by 500
miles ot stormy ocean. Pitt, however, reso
lutely declined to acknowledge the authority
of the Governor ot New Zealand. He was
willing to acknowledge the supremacy of
Queen Victoria, but neither the Qneen nor
tbe Governor of New Zealand ever heard of
his existence.
His island, as years rolled on, and the
Sonth Seas became the resort of freebooters
and adventnrers of all kinds, was looted
upon as a coveted. prize for the concealment
of plunder, or for a refuge from justice. By
that time, however, Pitt had contrived to
put his little domain in a thorough state of
defense. He had a couple of cannon
mounted on a tiny fort in Iront of bis house.
He also had an armory of CO muskets and a
number of cutlasses and pikes, and as his
people, including 12 or 15 young Pitts and
a motley band of half-castes now made up
quite a small army, he was able to give the
enemy a warm reception. In one of these
conflicts no fewer than 15 were killed or
wounded on both sides, and 4 of the assail
ants having fallen into his hands, Pitt tried
them for high treason, convicted tbem him
self, and hanged them on his own flag-staff.
Sometimes, however, he instituted reprisals
or did a little freebooting on his own ac
count. IN TBOUBLE WITH NEW ZEALAND.
In conrse of time, when New Zealand had
become a populous and prosperous British
colony, with a large import and export trade,
both the Chatham Islands and Pitt's Island
got an evil name for smuggling. This was
a most profitable business and not very dan
gerous when carried ont by men like Pitt
and his people, who were almost amphibious
and perfectly free from scruples of every
sort. They added to it, however, a traffic
which nearly got them into serious trouble,
and resulted in their practically losing their
independence.
"The Government of New Zealand was
then engaged in a desperate struggle with
tbe Maoris, and a law had been passed
making it "a capital offense to sell arms or
ammunition to any native. The immediate
effect of this was to place the enemy in such
straits that they were driven to use marbles
and even balls of hard wood instead of
bullets, and lucifer matches instead of per
cussion caps. They had plenty of money,
however, and anyone who chose to run the
risk conld get any amount for a rifle and
cartridges. Here was Captain William
Pitt's opportunity. The natives of the
Chathams and of Pitt's Island are called
Morioris, and, though a distinct race, are so
like Maoris in appearance that they easily
pass for them among casual observers. Tbey
also speak a dialect of the same language.
What was simpler, therefore, than for
American whalers and other strangers to
land
A FEW CASES OF BOXES
and ammunition at Pitt's Island, and for
Captain Pitt to run across with them to
New Zealand and send his Morioris with
them to the Maori settlements? Tbe money
always came back all right. In the conrse
of time, however, suspicions were aroused
and an officer was sent to the Chatham
Islands as resident magistrate and collector
of customs, with almost unlimited jurisdic
tion and -powers. One of the first things
this dignitary did was to visit Pitt's Island,
where, being a man of sense and resolution,
he soon came to terms with the Captain. It
was agreed that no officer of the government
should be placed on Pitt's Island, but that
the islanders should beleft in sole possession
under the patriarchal rule of their old com
mander, who was literally the father of his
Eeople to a very large extent. On the other
and, Captain Pitt was to be made a justice
of the peace, and was to take an oath to
obey and enforce the laws of New Zealand.
This compact was faithfully fulfilled on both
sides, and to this day Pitt's Island enjoys
home rule, while the commissioner of cus
toms at Wellington has never had any
further cause for complaint.
A PLEASANT PLACE TO LITE.
When I was at Pitt's Island, some years
ago, the captain was still alive, though cou
siderably over 90, and treated me with the
utmost hospitality. The deck house of the
original Orion had been carefully pre
served, and I had the honor of sleeping in
it, but a much larger and more commodious
dwelling bad been added to it to accommo
date the captain's rapidly increasing family,
who then numbered 25 or 30 souls. The
whole population of the island did not ex
ceed 50, tbe Pitts having crowded most of
the others out; and there was not a single
oue among them who was not related to all
the others. Every inch of available land
was carelully cultivated, and wonderful
crops of grain and vegetables and fruits
were produced, while tbe neatness and
beauty of the place passed all description.
As for Captain Pitt himself, he spoke with
the utmost pride of his career. After some
days he pnt it to me seriously whether it
would not be well for me to make up my
mind to stay there for good; and, indeed, it
has olten occurred to me dnring my wan
derings in other parts of the world that I
have never seen a place that pleased me
better than Pitt's Island, the sea-rover's
home. Edwabd Wakefield.
PIE FOlt HER SUPPEK.
Secret of a Startling Uproar Explained by
the Porter.
Louisville Courler-Jonrnal.l
From my end of the car down the narrow
aisle I see tbe conductor and the porter
struggling with a woman and trying to calm
ber while men are starting out of their
berths to lend a hand to the rescue. It Is
qnite apparent that there are enough people
around the woman to prevent the mur
der and in that opinion tbe calm and in
different man in the lower berth opposite
unites with me, so we await developments.
A few minutes later, when the uproar has
subsided and tbe porter comes, making his
way down to that mysterious boujoir.where
he shines boots at 50 cents a pair and medi
tates schemes of robbery and pillage upon
innocent passengers, my cool neighbor
across the way puts his head ont between
the curtains, and, seizing the ebony official
by the arm as he passes, asks him in a tired
sort of a voice:
"Porter, who was killing that woman?"
"Nobody, sab. The lady has et pie for
Jup'beT and hirbeeVh'aVIiig' Of earns I"
THEY MADE PS LAUGH
Amnsing Lecturers and Clever Come
dians We All Remember.
MARK TWAIN'S P1TTSB0RG VISIT.
The Reception Given Bret Harte on His
Pint Appearance Here.
OLD TIME ACTOES THAT PLEASED
rWBlTTXN 'OS THX DXSr-ATCH.1
There is a good deal of laughter in the
world, but not enough yet for the world's
needs. It is the ozone, the electrified oxy
gen of the spiritual atmosphere; and a vast
amount of it is required to expand the spir
itual ribs and strengthen the spiritual dia
phragm of mankind. Where it abounds
and is of wholesome quality, there the dis
ease germs are apt to die before they can
infect the soul with moral grippe or any
other fell epidemic
A good laugh turns up the subsoil of
human nature so that the sunshine ot heaven
can get at it. To come back to physiology,
it stirs the gall of bilious melancholy so that
it becomes sparkling champagne in the moral
system. There are ascetics who protest
against this. There is so much sorrow in the
world, they say; there is so much sin iu the
world that all men should, weep. Those who
are merry cannot sympathize with those who
are sad, and cannot reiorm those who are
wicked.
Can't they? What friend is the surest to
take comfort to any stricken soul the dole
tut one or the genial, jolly one? What good
man does the most effective missionary work
the always solemn one, who sees only the
sin, or the sunny hearted one, who sees the
goodness which ought to replace the sin?
And remember this: Wholesome laughter
is not hardness of heart. The heartless man
cannot laugh. The unsympathetic man
cannot langb. They may snicker and sneer
and cackle, but they cannot laugh. There
fore, those people who promote hearty laugh
ter among mankind are worthy oi most hon
orable remembrance.
A CASE IN POINT.
All this preaching was suggested by a
slight encounter I witnessed just now be
tween a serious person and a frivolous per
son. The one has not even the haziest con
ception of a joke, and the other knows a
joke the moment it comes in sight. Tbe
serious person was about to read aloud a
a very serious article about the labor agita
tions abroad, and had already announced
the title: "Eight Jlours in Eugland."
'Well," said the light minded listener.
"England is a pretty small place, bnt I
should think a person would need at least 24
hours to do 'it thoroughly. Why, Nellie
Bly was there more than eight hours."
It was amazing to see tbe contempt of the
other individual for this ignorance; and to
Qpte the tolerant patience with which he
explained that this was not the account of a
tourist's experience, but- a dissertation on
the effort to have eight hours established by
law as the length of a day's work. No sus
picion entered his mind that the remark
was merely a feeble little joke on the part of
a person who knew quite as much as him
self about the eight-hour movement.
How Mark Twain would have enjoyed a
conversation with that serious minded onel
He would have had all the fun on his side,
jnst as he thought he had on one occasion
which a friend of mine told of. My friend
was in Paris and got into an omnibus, or
.whatever conveyance corresponds to an om
nibus there, where all the other passengers
were French., Presently Mark Twain got
in. .His neighboring Frenchman made a
courteous remark in French 'to which Mr,
Clemens replied in English. The French
man tried it again, and yet again; and at
last Mark wound up tbe matter by saying,
In his most emphatic, distinct and deliberate
English: "I don't understand one
word you sayi"
And as the Frenchman couldn't under
stand one word he said, my friend thought
this elaboration of distinctness rather
funny.
A MAKE TWAIN SUPPEB.
But Mark Twain had no difficulty in under
standing or being understood tbe first time
he lectured in Pittsburg. He understood
beyond peradventure that he was welcomed
by a throng of appreciative people who
were in full sympathy with the subtlest
humor he had tobestow, and who understood
his every-joke, and met it half way with
genial laughter. His book, "Innocents
Abroad," was fresh then; and with plenty
of people the relish with which tbey had
read "The Jumping Frog" was still keen.
He was not quite a stranger in Pittsburg, I
believe. At least he told a reporter, who
asked if this was his first visit to the city,
that it was the first time he had been there
in a fraudulent capacity."
A brilliant and crowded audience enjoyed
his lecture; and I have no donbt that many
who beard it still laugh at the memory of
some of the quaint turns and droll conceits
at which everybody laughed heartily that
evening. Bat to the newspaper men more
than to any other class the visit of the
humorist was of interest, because he was one
of the guild himself. So some of the news
paper workers planned a little banquet with
Mark Twain as the guest of honor.
It was a very pleasant little feast, and we
all had a very nice, quiet time. There was
plenty of talk, and a moderate amount of
merriment. The guest told a story or two,
and paid, incidentally, a very pleasant
tribute to the hnmor of Josh Billings. But
he was more intent on asking questions
about Pittsburg newspapers than on perpe
trating jokes.
A LOCAL HUMOBIST.
Bnt after a time the laughter became up
roarious and incessant, and the heartiest
laugher of all was Mark Twain. It was not
fun of his own making that he enjoyed at
such a rate, but the fun produced by a Pitts
burg reporter.
One of those present at the supper was
"Billy" Smythe, so well known and so well
liked by pretty nearly everybody in the two
cities, and belt was who made guest and en
tertainers as merry as grigs on that occasion.
Smythe had been to England, and on his re
turn had written a lecture "Across the
Atlantic," I believe be called it which he
had delivered at sundry. times and places.
He was a saugnine soul, and the lecture
really had as much merit in it as many that
have achieved success. Butthte did not
achieve success. In his recital his disas
trous experience as a lecturer became a side
splitting joke; and it never seemed so much
of a joko to him as now, when he told it for
the entertainment of the man who had not
failed. I have thought many times since
that evening that it Billy Smythe had but
told a public audience how he failed as a
lecturer, and bad told the tale as funnily as
he told it to that private audience, he would
straightway have been a success as a
lecturer.
I think Wheeling was the place where he
was advertised to Jectnre on a certain cold
winter night. A friend there acted as agent
for the lecturer; aud shortly before the time
for Smythe to put his manuscript iu his
pocket and start foe. the Union depot, an en
couraging dispatch came from this iriend,
something to this effect: "Six people have
bought tickets. Hall is well warmed."
Billy's audiences had not been large as a
rule, bnt six people as a preliminary cer
tainty in a place the size ot Wheeling did
not come-up to his standard. There ore he
telegraphed to his friend: "Keep the ball
hotl" .And Wheeling heard no more of him.
THE HEATHEN CHINEE.
Bret Harte's lecture on the "Argonauts
of '49," on the occasion of his first appear
ance in Pittsburg, was not a distinctly
humorous effort; but it was by reason of hfs
reputation as a humorist that he got the
audience which enjoyed every word of it.
And this reputation came in a curious way;
a way, I have been told, not altogether to
the humorist's liking. For some time
judicious readers had been aware that a rare
and delightful humorous writer was doing
capital work on. the Pacifio coast. Some
well wrought dialect verses aud some very
effective short stories had secured for Bret
Harte a large and discriminating puhlio;
but he was not by any means the rage.
One day that jingle or laughable nonsense,
"The Heathen Chinee," struck the earth,
and at once all the air seemed to ring with
it. It swept to the farthest-corner of the
English-speaking world, and then got itself
translatedinto I know not bow many alien
tongues. All the world went merry .mad, aud
everybody shouted to everybody else "The
heathen Chinee is peculiar!"
Now it is undoubtedly very pleasant for s
man to find himself so famous as th Jt. But
at the same time it cannot be qnite satisfy
ing to a man whose bet and most artistic
work has commanded only moderate atten
tion, when he finds that a careless and un
considered piece of work has struck the nerve
that reaches everywhere. Still, that is the
way of the world, and it was so in this ease.
In Pittsburg, as in most other places, a
goodly audience would have assembled to
hear the man who wrote "The Luck of
Boaring Camp;" but the hall was packed
with the people who wsnted to hear the
writer of "The Heathen Chinee." The great
audience listened with delight to the story
of the old and new days in California; but it
was an allusion to the popular jingle that
set everybody wild at last.
"And now." said" the lecturer, ''a few
words about the social problem to be worked
out. An element of trouble is there the
element which you call the Heathen Chi
nee." The familiar words seemed explo
sive, and they started such a demonstration
of enthusiastic applause as the evening had
not hitherto produced. They gave the op
portunity for testifying to the pleasure
which Bret Harte, the writer, had given to
those who now listened to Bret Harte, the
speaker.
DUNDBEABT AND OTHEBS.
But I wonder if either of these men who
wrote and talked ever gave, so much pleas
ure to us of that time as a man who did not
write funny things, and only talked the
funny things some one else had written? Is
there anybody who ever listened to the ex
quisite absurdities and witnessed the de
licious antics oi Lord Dundreary that does
not laugh in remembering them? It was
enjoyment to see the feather-headed En
glishman come upon the stage with that
queer little hop; and it was a delight un
speakable to hear him trying to make con
versation with Mist Laura. Hit muddled
conundrums were delicious, and bit sage re
flections on the bird with only one feather,
and the birds that had to flock together be
cause they couldn't flock alone, were not
things to be forgotten.
It required an actor to give Zor.d Dun
dreary, and Sothern was actor. No mere
"lunny man" could have given us the con
sistent and well-rounded character we all
loved so to associate with. For Dundreary
was no mere empty-headed dude. He was a
sterling English gentleman with a strong
fiber of manliness in him. The glass he
held out to us had plenty of froth on top
but it was full of heady ale. It needed an
artist to demonstrate all that.
That artist we shall see no more. Nor yet
this other whom we remember as lovingly
for the wholesome laughter he provoked in
us "Ned" Adams, the Rover, who rol
licked so hilariously through the nleasint
growth of "Wild Oats." What robust,
hearty fun there was in Mm I He was a
prime favorite in Pittsburg, and his name
is one to conjure with among old theater
goers. He was by no means a one-part
actor; but the character of fiover seemed to
be distinctively his, and his alone.
COLLINS, THE COMEDIAN.
Another there was whom I saw only In
his old age, bnt who was mightily good,
even then. That was Collins, the Irish
comedian. I doubt if the stage Irishman
has often been in better hands than his. All
the loveable, laughable traits of the charac
ter he brought out to perfection. An J he could
sing delightfully. Even when long past hit
prime he would sing "Widow -Machree" in
a manner to make quick impression on.tha
heart of that resolute iady if she were with,
in hearing.
Joseph Jeflerson is not a reminiscence, I
rejoice to say.bnt an oft-recurring presence,
bringing perennial laughter and tears with
him to those who remember these others, as
well as to those who remember them not.
He played a notable engagement In Pitts
bnrg in the old stock days, when Miss
Dargou was leading lady at tbe Opera
Honse. Sbe was cast for tbe part of Rip's
Jong suffering wife, and objected to the as
signment, as being unworthy of her, I be
lieve. But she played it, and with snch
effective vim as to makb it a star part, fairly
dividing the honors with Jefferson's Rip.
In days past no less than in days present
there were plenty of merry buriesquers to
make us laugh, without much thought of
what we were laughing at. And even that
may be a good thing in its way.
THE BUBLESQUE OF "POCAHONTAS."
Does anybody remember Brougham's
burlesque of "Pocahontas?" That was
much of a favorite in Pittsburg years ago,
and with its punning atrocities and its
manifold absurdities was considered very
funny. But its flavor proved weak in com
parison with some of the dishes that were
served later.
An apprehensive- thrill of expectation
went through the community when it was
known that Lydia Thompson and her En
glish blondes were coming. They came,
and then there was a reactive thrill of dis
appointment. The blondes Droved to be
not nearly so naughty as was feared. A
man came along who dressed up elaborately
in female apparel, and took the laughter
loving part of the town by storm one sea
son. This was Leffingwell, who played the
principal Wicked Sister in the burlesque
"Cinderella." He was large of frame and
robust of voice, and to see him aping the
airs of a fashionable miss, and to hear him
trying to simper in affected young-lady
tones7 tickled large crowds of people im
mensely. And, indeed, he was very funny;
and even now the recollection of his antics
moves to laughter. He did no harm with
his absurdities, and, like the rest of tht
merry-makers, he did some good.
James C. Pubdt.
Doner In Comparison.
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