Pittsburg dispatch. (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, January 12, 1890, SECOND PART, Page 10, Image 10

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sort, somewhat -weather-beaten and anxious
about the timet a man who would take ad
vantage of everv drop ia the rate of wages.
In fact he was Beatrice's father and a clergy
man. By his side, and leaning over him, was
Elizabeth, her elder sister. There were five
years between them. She was a poor copy
of Beatrice, or, to be more accurate,
Beatrice was a grand development or Eliza
beth. They both had brown hair, bnt
Elizabeth's was straighter and faint
colored not rich and ruddying into gold.
Elizabeth's eyes were also gray, bnt it was
a cold, washed-out gray like that of a Feb
ruary sky. And so with feature alter feat
ure, and with the expression also. Beatrice's
was noble and open, if at times defiant.
Iiooking at her, you knew that she might be
a mistaken woman, or a headstrong woman,
or both; but she could never be a mean
woman. "Whichever of the ten command
ments she might choose to break, it would
not be that which forbids us to bear false
witness against our neighbor. Anybody
might read it in her eyes. But m
her sister's he might read her father's
shifty hardness watered by woman's
weaker will into something like cun
ning. For the 'rest, Elizabeth had a very
iiir figure, but lacked her sister's rounded
loveliness, thongh the two were so curiously
alike that at a distance you might well mis
take the one for the other. One mieht al
most fancv that nature had experimented
upon Elizabeth before she made up her mind
to produce Beatrice, just to get the lines
and distances. The one sister was to the
other what the pale, unfinished model of
-clay is to the polished statue in ivory and
"Oh, my God! my God I" groaned the old
' man; "look, they have got them on the
stretchers. They are both dead. Oh, Bea
trice! Beatrice! and only this morning I
Bpoke hrshly to her."
"Don't be so foolish, father," said Eliza
beth sharply. "They may only be insensi
ble." "Ah, ah," he answered; "it doesn't mat
ter to you; you don't care about your sister.
Yon're jealous of her. But I love her,
though we don't understand each other.
Here thev come. Don't stand staring there.
Go and see that the blankets and things are
hot. Stop, doctor, tell me, is she dead?"
"How can I tell till I've seen her?" the
doctor answered, roughly shaking him off
and entering the door.
'Bryngelly vicarage was a very simply con
structed house. On entering the door the
-visitor loundiimself in a passace with doors
to-the right and left. That to the right led
to the sitting room, that to the left to the
dining room, both of them long, low and
narrow chambers. Following the passage
down for some five paces, it terminated in
another which ran at right angles to it for
the entire length ot the house. On the fur
ther side of this passage were several bed
room doors and a room at each end. That at
the end of the right was occupied by Beat
rice and ber sister, the next was empty,
the third was Mr. Granger, and the fourth
the spare room. This, with the exception of
the kitchen and the servants' sleeping place,
Which were beyond the dining room, made
Up the house.
Fires had been lit in both the sitting
rooms. Geoffrey was taken i&to the dining
room and attended by the doctor's assistant,
and Beatrice into the sitting-room and at
tended by the doctor himself. In a few sec
onds the rooms had been cleared of all ex
cept the helpers, and the work began. The
doctor looked at Beatrice's cold, shrunken
N form, and at the foam upon her lips. He
,. lifted the eyelid, and held a light before the
.1 contracted pupil. Then he shook his head
and set to work with a will. We need not
f follow him through the course of his dread-
i ' lul labors, with which most people will have
k some acquaintance. Hopeless as they
seemed, he continued them for hour after
hour.
. Meanwhile tbe assistant and some helpers
,? were doing tbe same service for Geoffrey
Bingham, the doctor himself, a thin, clever-
5 looking man, occasionally stepping across
the passage to direct them and see how
things were getting on. How, although
ix Geoffrey bad been in the water the longest,
his was by lar the best case, for when he
was immersed he was already insensible,
and a person in this condition is very hard
l to drown. It is your struggling, fighting,
breathing creature who is soonest made an
end ot in deep waters. Therefore it came
to pass, that when the scrubbing with hot
cloths and the artificial .respiration bad gone
on for somewhere about 20 minutes Geoffrey
suddenly crooked a finger. The doctor's as
sistant, a buoyant youth fresh from tbe hos
pital, gave a yell of exultation and scrubbed
and pushed away with ever-increasing
energy. Presently the subject coughed,and
a minute later, as the agony of returning
life made itselt felt, he swore most heartily.
"He's all right now!" called the assistant
to his emplover. "He's swearing beauti
fully." Dr. Chambers, pursuing his melancholy
and unpromising task in the other room,
f smiled sadly and called to the assistant to
coutinue the treatment, which he did with
much vigor.
Presently Geoffrey came partially to life,
still suffering torments. The first thing he
grew aware of was that a tall, elegant wom
' an was standing over him, looking at him
with a hulf-pnzzled and halt-horrified air.
'"Vaguely he wondered who it was. The tall
form and cold, handsome face were so fami
liar to him, and yet he could not recall the
name. It was not till she spoke that his
numbed brain realized that he was looking
on his own wife.
"Well, dear," she said, "I'm glad that
you are better. You lrightened me out of
my wits. I thought you were drowned."
"Thank you," he said faintly, and then
groaned as a iresh attack of tingling pain
shook him through and through.
"I hope nobody said anything to Effie,"
he said presently.
"Yes, the child wouldn't go to bed be
cause you were not back, and when the po
liceman came she heard him tell Mrs. Jones
that you were drowned, and she has been al
most in a fit ever since. They had to hold
her to prevent her from running here."
Geoffrey's white face assumed an air of
the deepest distress. "How could you
frighten the child so?" he murmured.
"Please go and tell her that I am all right."
" "It wasn't my fault," said lady Honoria,
with A shrug of her shapely shoulders. "Be
sides, I can do nothing with Effie. She
goes on like a wild thing about you."
"Please go and tell her, Honoria," said
her husband.
"Oh, yes, I'll go," she answered. "Eeally
I shan't be sorry to get out of this; I begin
v to feel as though I had been drowned my-
-. sell;" and she looked at the steaming cloths
and shuddered. "Goodby, Geoffrey. It's an
immense relief to find you all right That
; policeman made me feel quite queer. 1
can't get down to give you a kiss, or I
f would. "Well, goodby for the present, my
dear."
"Goodby, Honoria," said her husband
' with a faint smile.
The medical assistant looted a little sur
prised. He had never, it is true, happened
' to be present at a meeting between husband
and wife, when one of the pair had just been
rescued by a hair's-breath from a violent
and sudden death, and therelore wanted ex
perience to go on. But it struck him that
there was something missing. The lady did
not seem to him quite to fill the part ot the
Heaven-thanking spouse. It puzzled him
very much. Perhaps he showed this in his
lace. At any rate, .Lady Honoria, who was
quick enough, read something there.
"He is safe now, is he not?" she asked.
"It will not" matter if I go away."
"No, my ladv." answered the assistant,
"he is out of danger, I think; it will not
matter at alL"
Lady Honoria hesitated a. little; she was
standing in the passage. Then she glanced
through the door into the opposite room,
and caught a glimpse of Beatrice's rigid
form and the doctor bending over it. Her
head was thrown back, and the beautiful
brown hair, which was now almost dry
again, streamed in masses to the ground,
while on her face .was stamped the terrifying
seal ot Death.
Lady Honoria shuddered. She could not
bear such sights. "Will it be necessary for
me to come back to-night?" she said.
:l do not think so," answered the student,
"unless you care to hear whether Miss
Granger recovers?"
"J shall hear that in the morning," she
said. "Poor thing, I cannot help her."
"No, Lady Honoria, you cannot help her.
She saved vour husband's life, thev say."
"She must be a brave girl. "Will she re
cover?" The assistant shook his head. ' She may, .
possiblv. It is not likely now."
"Poo'r thing, and so young and beautiful!
What a lovely lace, and what an arm! It is
very awful "for her," and she shuddered
again and went
Outside the door a small knot of sympa
thizers was still gathered, notwithstanding
the late hour and the badness of the
weather.
"That's his wife," said one, and they
opened to let her pass.
"Then why don't she stop with him?"
asked a woman, audibly. "If it had been
my husband I'd have sat and hugged him
for an hour." t
"Ay, you'd have killed him with your
hugging, you would," somebody answered.
Lady Honoria passed on. Snddenly a
thick-set man emerged from the shadow ot
the pines. She could upt see his face, but
he was wrapped in a large cloak.
"Forgive me," he said in the hoarse
voice of one straggling with emotions which
he was unable to conceal, "but you can tell
me. Does she still live?"
"Do you mean Miss Granger?" she
asked.
"Yes, of course. Beatrice Miss Gran
ger. "They do not know, but they think'-'
"Yes, yes they think'.'
"That she is dead."
The man said never a word. He dropped
his head upon his breast and, turning, van
ished again into tbe shadow of the pines.
"How very oddl" thought Lady Honoria.
as fehe walked rapidly along the cliff toward
her lodging. "I suppose that man must be
in love with her. Well, I do not wonder at
it. I never saw such a tace and arm. What
a picture that scene in the room would make!
She saved Geoffrey and now she's dead. If
he had saved her I should not have won
dered. It's liKe a scene in a novel."
From all of which it will be seen that
Lady Honoria was not wanting in certain
romantic and artistical perceptions.
CHAPTER V.
ELIZABETH IS THANKFUIi.
Geoffrey, lying before the fire, newly
&SS
LSba.
DB. CHAMBEBS, SHE WHISPERED, WAS HE DBOW.NED?
snatched from death, had caught some of
the conversation between his wife and the
assistant who had recovered him to life. So
she was gone, that brave, beautiful atheist
girl gone to test the truth. And she had
saved his lifel
For some minutes the assistant did not
enter. He was helping in the other room.
At last he came.
"What did you say to Lady Honoria?
Geoffrey asked feebly. "Did you say that
Miss Granger had saved.me?"
"Yes, Mr. Bingham; at least they tell me
so. At any rate, when they pulled her out
of the water they pulled you after her. She
had hold of your hair."
"Great heavens!" he groaned, "and my
weight must have dragged her down. Is
she dead, then?"
"We cannot quite say yet, not for certain.
We think that she is!"
"Pray God she is not dead," he said, more
to himself than to the other. Then aloud
"Leave me; I am all right. Go and help
with her. But stop, come and tell me some
times how it goes with her."
"Very well. I will send a woman to
watch you," and he went
Meanwhile in the other room the treat
ment of the drowned went slowly on. Two
hours had passed, and as yet Beatrice
showed no signs of recovery. The heart did
not beat, no pulse stirred; but, as the doc
tor knew, life might still linger in the tis
sues. Slowlv, very slowly, the body was
turned to and fro, the head swaying, and
the long hair falling now this way and now
that, but stilly no sign. Every resource
known to medical skill, such as hot air, rub
bing, artificial respiration, electricity, were
applied and applied in vain, but still no
sign!
Elizabeth, pale and pinched, stood by,
handing what might be required. She did
not greatly love her sister; they were antag
onistic, and their interests clashed, or she
thought they did, but this sudden death was
awfuL In a corner, pitiful to see, offering
groans and ejaculated prayers to heaven, sat
the old clergyman, their father, his white
hair about his eyes. He was a weak, coarse
grained man, but in his own way his clever
and beautiful girl was dear to him, and this
sight wrung his soul as it had not been
wrung for years.
"She's gone," he said, continually, "she's
gone; the Lord's will be done. There'll have
o be another mistress at the school now.
Seventy pounds a year she'll cost 70
pounds a year!"
"Do be quiet, father," said Elizabeth,
sharply.
"Ay, ay, it's very well for you to tell me
to be quiet You are quiet because you don't
care. You never loved your sister. But I
loved her since she was a little fair-haired
child, and so did your poor mother. 'Bea
trice' was the last word she spoke."
"Be quiet father!" said Elizabeth, still
more sharply. Tbe old man, making no re
ply, sank back into a semi-torpor, rocking
himself to and fro upon his chair.
Meanwhile, without intermission, the
work went on.
"Tt's no use," said the assistant at last, as
he straightened his weary frame and wiped
the perspiration from his brow. "She must
be dead; we've been at it nearly three hours
now."
"Patience," answered the doctor. "If
necessary I shall go on for four or till I
drop," he added.
Ten minutes more passed. Everyboby
knew that the task was hopeless, but still
they hoped.
"Great heavens!" said the assistant
presently, starting back from the body and
pointing at its face. "Did you see that?"
Elizabeth and Mr. Granger sorang to
their feet, cryine, "What, what?"
"Sit still, sir," said the doctor, waving
them back. Then addressing his helper,
and speaking in a constrained voice: "I
thought I saw the right eyelid quiver, Will
iams. Pass the battery."
"So did I," answered Williams, as lie
obeyed.
"Full power," said the doctor again. "It
is kill or cure."
The shock was applied for some seconds
without result Then suddenly a long
shudder ran up the limbs, and a hand
stirred. Next moment the eyes were
opened, and with pain and agony Beatrice
drew the first breath of returning life. Ten
minutes more and she had passed throngh
the gates of death back to the warm and liv
ing world.
"Let me die." the gasped faintly. "I can
not bear it"
THE
"Hush,"said the doctor; -"you will be bet
ter presently."
Ten minutes more passed, when the doctor
saw by her eyes thafshe wanted to'say some
thing.' He bent his head till it nearly
touched her lips.
"Dr. Chambers," she whispered, "was he
drowned?"
"No, he is safe; he hrfs been brought
round."
"She sighed along-drawn sigh, half of
pain, half ot relief. Then she spoke again:
"Was he washed ashore?"
"No, no. You saved his life. You had
hold of him when thev pulled you out. Now
drink this and go to sleep."
She smiled sweetly, but said nothing.
Then she drank as much of the draught as
she could, and shortly afterward obeyed the
last injunction and went to sleep.
Meanwhile a rumor of this wonderful re
covery had escaped to without the house
passing from one watcher to the other till at
length it reached the ears of the solitary
man crouched in the shadow of the pines.
He heard, and, starting as though he had
been shot, strode to the dooroftheYicarage.
Here his courage seemed to desert him, for
he hesitated.
"Knock, 'Squire, knock, and ask if it is
true," said a woman, the same who had de
clared that she would have hugged her hus
band back to life.
This remark seemed to encourage him: at
any rate he did knock. Presently the door
was opened by Elizabeth.
"Go away," she said, in her sharp voice,
"the house must be kept quiet"
"I beg your pardon, Miss Granger," said
the visitor in a tone ot deep humiliation.
"I only wanted 'to know if it was true that
Miss Beatrice lives?"
"Why," said Elizabeth with a start, "is
it you, Mr. Davies? I am sure I had no
idea. Step into the passage and I will f hut
tbe door. There! how long have you been
outside?"
"Oh, since they brought them up. But is
it true?"
"Yes, yes, it is true. She will recover
now. And you have stood all this time in the
wet night I am sure that Beatrice ought to
be flattered."
"Not at all. It seemed so awful, and I
I take such an interest " and he broke off.
"Such an interest in Beatrice, "said Eliza
beth, dryly, supplying the hiatus. "Yes, so
J
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"-
A-.
C7w
ja
tfCJ A
it seems," and suddenly, as though by
chance, she moved the candle she held in
such a fashion that tbe light felL upon his
face. It wasva slow, heavy countenance, but
not without comeliness. The skin was fresh
as a child's, the eyes were large, blue and
mild, and the brown hair grew in waves that
many a woman might have envied. Indeed
had it not been for a short but strongly
growing beard it-would1 have been easy to
believe that the countenance was that of a
boy of 19 rather than a man over 30.
Neither time nor care had drawn a single
line upon it; it told of perfect and robust
health and yet bore the bloom of childhood.
It was the face of a man who might live to a
hundred and still look young, nor did the
form belie it
Mr. Davies blushed up to the eyes,
blushed like a girl beneath Elizabeth's
sharp scrutiny. "Naturally I take an
interest in a neighbor's late," be said, in
his slow, deliberate way. "She is quite
safe, thn?"
"I believe so," answered Elizabeth.
"Thank God!" he said, or rather it
seemed to break from him in a sigh of
relief. "How did the other gentleman, Mr.
'Bingham, come to be saved with her?"
"How should I know?" she answered
with a shrug. "She saved his life somehow,
clung fast to him even after she was Un
sensible." "It is very wonderful. I never heard of
such a thing. What is he like?"
"He is one of the finest-looking men I
ever saw," answered Elizabeth, always
watching him.
"Ah. Bat he is married, I think, Miss
Granger?"
'Oh, yes, he is married to the daughter
of an earl, very much married and very
little, I should say."
"I don't quite understand, Miss Gran
ger." "Don't you ? then use your eyes when you
Bee them together."
"I should not see anything. I am not
qnick like you," he added.
"How do you mean to get back to tbe
castle to-night, Mr. Davies? You can't
row back in this wind, and the seas will be
washing over the causeway."
"Oh, I shall manage. I am wet already.
An extra ducking won't hurt me, and I've
had a chain put up to prevent anybody
from being washed away. And now I must
be going. Good night
"Good night, Mr. Davies."
. He hesitated a moment and then added:
"Would you would youjnind telling
your sister of course I mean when she is
stronger that I came to inquire after
her?"
" "I think that yon can do that for your
self. Mr. Davies," she said almost roughly.
I mean it will be more appreciated," and
she turned upon her heel.
Owen Davies! ventured no further re
marks. He felt that Elizabeth's manner
was a little crushing, and he was afraid of
her as well. "I suppoe that she does not
think I am good enough to pay attention to
her sister," he thought to himself as he
plunged into the night and rain. "Well,
she is quite right I am not fit to black her
boots. Oh, God, I thank Thee that Thou
hast saved her life I thankThee I thank
Theel" he went on, speaking aloud to the
wild night as he made his wav along the
cliff. "If she had been dead, I think that I
musthave died too. Ob, God, I thank Thee
TI thank Theel"
The idea that Owen Davies ,Eq., J. P.,
D.L., of Bryngelly Castle, absolute owner
of that rising little watering place, and of
the largest and most prosperous slate quar
ries in Wales, worth in all somewhere be
tween seven and ten thousand a year, was
not fit to black her beautiful sister's boots,
was not one that had struck Elizabeth
Granger. Had it struck her, indeed) it
would have moved her to laughter, for
Elizabeth had a practical mind.
What did strike her, as she turned and
watched the rich Squire's sturdy form van
ish through the doorway into the night be
yond, was a certain sense ot wonder. Sup
posing that she bad never seen that shiver
of returning life run up those white limbs,
supposing that they had. grown colder and
colder, till at length it was evident that
death was so firmly citadelled within the
silent heart that no human .skill could beat
his empire back? What then? Owen Davies
loved ber sister; that she knew and had
known for years. But would he not have
got over it in time? Would he not in time
have been overpowered by the sense of his
own utter loneliness and give his handjif
not his heart, to some other woman? And
PITTSBTIRG " .DISPATCH
could not she who held his iand learn to
teach bis heart? And to whom
would that hand have been given,
the hand and all that went with it? What
woman would this shy Welsh hermit, with
out friends or relations, have ever been
thrown in with except herself Elizabeth
who loved him as muchfas she could love
anybody, which, perhaps, was hot very
much; who, at any rate, desired sorely to be
his wife. Would not all this have come
about If she had never seen that eyelid trem
ble and that slight quiver run up her sister's
limbs? It would she knew it would.
Elizabeth thought of it as for a moment
she stood in the passage, and a cold, hungry
light came Into her neutral-tinted eyes and
shone upon her pale face. But Bhe choked
back the thought; she was not wicked enough
to wish that her sister had not been brought
back to life. She only speculated on what
might have happened if this had come about,
just as one works out a game of chess from a
given hypothetical situation of the pieces.
Perhaps, too, the same end might be gained
in some other way. Perhaps Mr. Davies
might still be weaned from his infatuation.
The wall was difficult, but it would have to
be very difficult if she could not find a way
to climb it. It never occurred to her that
there might be an open gate. She could not
conceive it possible that a woman might pos
itively reject Owen Davies and his seven or
ten thousand a year, and that woman a per
son in an unsatisfactory and uncongenial,
almost in a menial position. Keject Bryn
gelly Castle, with all its luxury and oppor
tunities of wealth and leisure? No, the sun
would set in the east before such a thing
happened. The plan was to prevent the oc
casion from arising. The hungry light died
out of Elizabeth's face, and she turned to
enter the sick room, when suddenly she met
her father coming out
"Who was that at the front?" he asked,
carefully closing the door.
"Mr. Davies. of Bryngelly Castle,
father?"
"And what did Mr. Davies want at this
time of night? To know about Beatrice?"
"Yes," Bhe answered slowly, "he came to
ask after Beatrice, or, to be more correct,
he has been waiting outside for three hours
in the rain to learn if she recovered."
"Waiting outside three hours in the
rain," said the clergyman, astonished
"'Squire Davies standing outside the housel
What for?"
"Because he was so anxious about Bea
trice, and did not like to come in I sup
pose. ''
"So anxious about Beatrice ah, so anx
ious about Beatrice! Do you think, Eliza
beth um you know there is no donbt Bea
trice is very well favored very handsome,
thev say"
"I don't think anything about it, father,"
she answered, "and as for Beatrice's looks,
they are a mattei of opinion. I have mine.
And now don't you think we had better go
to bed? The doctors and Betty are going to
stop up all night with Mr. Bingham and
Beatrice."
"Yes, Elizabeth. I suppose that we had
better go. I am sure we nave much to be
thankful for to-night. What a merciful de
liverance! And if poor Beatrice had gone
the parish must have found another school
mistress, and that would have meant that
we lost the salary. We have a great deal to
be tbankfnl for, Elizabeth."
"Yes," said Elizabeth, very deliberately,
"we have."
To be continued. next Sunday.)
THE HORSE REMEMBERED IT.
How a Planter Recovered an Animal Stolen
Two Years Before.
"Say, friend, you're on my horse," said
one gentleman to another as he reined his
horse before the door. "Your horse! Oh,
no; why, I bought this horse two years ago!"
"You did?" answered the other; "well, I
lost my horse it was stolen just two years
ago."
The conversation took place under the far
spreading oaks of an old-time plantation
home. A planter was surprised to see his
horse return home, after two years, and rid
den by a gentleman who evidently had
bought the horse in good faith. After some
conversation the old owner of the horse, with
much earnestness, said: "WelJ, sir, if .you
will dismount, unsaddle the horse, and he
don't go to the fence, take the bars down,
walk to the well, and it he don't find water
in the bncket let it down the well, and then
walk off to his old stable, I will give up and
that horse isn't mine'"
"At your word; the horse is yours if he
does all that," cried the visitor, and leaping
from the horse unsaddled it What was bis
astonishment when the horse went straight
to the fence, let down the bars, crossed over,
went to the well, and, finding no water, let
the bncket down, and then, as though he
had left home bnt yesterday, walked to the
old stable! The animal remembered the
trick, and the owner recovered his horse.
There are those living now who can attest to
the truth of this story, though it happened
years ago.
THE WODLD-BK WlSEi
Points From One of Those Who Aunme to
be Omniscient.
Louisville Commercial.
The man who knows how to cure a cold
has a rival in the man who knows how to
color a meerschaum. Let the friends of the
unhappy possessor of a new pipe once dis
cover the fact, and the recipes that will pour
in upon him will make his life a burden to
him. "Boil tn oil." "Coat it with bees
wax." "Put a button in the bowl." "Stick
a corncob pipe in the top and let the smoke
pass through the meerschaum." These sug
gestions with a thousand others, make up
the chorns which is dinned into the smoker's
ears. This ordeal the Town Talker went
through recently.
Desirous ot learning which was really the
correct way to turn the dead-white of his
pipe creamy brown he sought the advice of
an expert who delivered himself as follows:
"Fill the bowl only about two-thirds full of
tobacco. Smoke very slowly and draw very
slightly until the pipe has become hardened".
Handle the pipe carefully to prevent it
from being scratched and 'never scrape it
when it is hot That is the whole secret."
This expert testimony would doubtless have
been successfully adhered to, but unlortu
nately the Town Talker dropped his pipe
and smashed it to smithereens the same day.
The advice is given, however, for the benefit
of those who find valuable meerschaums'
mingled with their hosiery this morning.
Bow Arc Yoar Ejes?
Detroit Tree Press.'!
When the average man or woman comes
to be fitted with the first pair of glasses
some curious discoveries are made. Seven
out of ten have stronger sight in one eye
than the other. In two cases out of five one
eye is out of line. Near one-half the people
are color-blind to some extent, and only one
pair of eyes out of every 15 are all right in
all respects.
Worth Remomberlnr.
Detroit Free Press. ,
Ninety-five times out of a hundred a fire
in a theater starts on the stage or back of it
As the draft is upward, 2,000 people will
have plenty of time to get out in an orderly
manner before the auditorium will even fill
up with smoke. If all preserve their pres
ence of mind, there isn't tbe slightest excuse
for anyone to get hnrt
Money Regulates Delicti.
Detroit Tree Press.j
Dnring the last five years more than 1,000
American vessels have used oil to jnsure
their safety in storms, and at least 309 claim
it prevented their total loss. The action of
oil on waves was known over 200 years ago,
but as oil costs money, shipowners have re
fused to believe in its efficacy.
Ho Cnro for KerTonness.
Sew Orleans Picayune. J
There 1b not as much heard as there was
about the efficacy of celery for nervousness.
Ifthe turkevisnof done toa turn all the
celery in the world will not keep the host
from being nervous.
SUNDAY, JAfJARY' 12;
CLARA BELLE'S CHAT.
The Different Ways ia Which Men
and Women Endure Idleness.
LITEST IK ADVERTISING DODGES.
2faw Industry Developed 1j an Indigent
Gentlewoman.
TIHTED PACES SET IN GOLD C0IHS
ICOBBISrONDENCE 07 THE SISFATCB.l
New Yobk, January 11.
HEBE isn't much
modesty in the be
havior of some of our
most pretentious
belles in public gath
erings. The pince-
-?gseyeglasses,isan illus-
' M'-l-'
' '' :.! u.. r nii;is
ness. It affords a
curiously useful ve
hicle to the presumably well-bred female
for the display of rudeness. I have noticed
that in circles of more exalted altitude it is
used in a manner which persons of less, self
confidence would imagine to be distinctly
offensive. The "stony stare" somehow gains
in force when leveled through an incroy
able eyeglass, and it is perfectly marvelous
to study the sang froid with which a female
representative of Croesus can positively in
sult some humble sister who has dared to
possess physical or mental attractions of
which my lady disapproves, or who has
been admitted to a circle wherein she is re
garded as a black sheep.
Well, the diligent student of human
nature must find abundant material for
thought In the different way in which men
and women endure the luxury of idleness.
A man roams about in restless fashion,
making everyone feel uncomfortable and
smoking far more cigars than are good for
him. A woman gets something to do, if
only a novel to read or a bit of embroidery,
and makes herself as comfortable as possk
ble under the circumstances, and it is only
when"on dress parade"thatshedevelops such
assertive rudeness as I have mentioned. I
lately spent a week at Tnxedo in steadily
stormy weather, when everybody was kept
indoors. The impatience of the men was
scarcely complimentary to the women,
though more than one of the disappointed
ones whiled away the time by plunging into
fierce flirtations. My friend Pamelia is
always ready to enjoy a game of that sort,
quite irrespective of the player. So long as he
has the instincts and manners of a gentleman
it matters little, apparently, to her, whether
he is hideous or the reverse. Just now she
has undertaken a little gentleman with an
immense reputation for dollars, a mania for
displaying his generosity, and a most ex
traordinary propensity for suddenly doub
ling himself up at right angles while he
talks. He regards this as bowing, but it
looks more like butting. For the rest, he
is cultivated and amusing.
PAMELIA'S EUBY EABBINQS.
A pair of ruby earrings have recently
been added to Pameha's jewels, a tribute to
her lively conversation, I presume. The
stones are large and beautiful. As you are
aware, rubies are now far dearer than
diamonds. In the most' artless and unpre
meditated way, she said: "I am enchanted
with your rubies, Clara Belle. They are
superb. Bubies are quite my favorite
stone."
Then turning to' Mr. Makinkash, she said
in a lower voice, "I once possessed a pair
of rnby earrings, but they were stolen. I
criedover their loss, positively cried." She
got 'e'nf as soon as 'they could be procured
from New York.
A very elegantly attired and noticeably
clean young man got into a Fourth avenue
car, and at once became the object of
marked attention to a party of school girls
that crowded one of the seats. His slender
and shapely figure, his fair complexion or
his wonderful trousers were anv of them
sufficient to make of him an interesting
study, but the girls bad observed something
about him that was to them more completely
absorbing than these conventional excel
lencies. When the nice-looking fellow ex
tended his fare to tbe conductor a beautifnl
bracelet of small fine diamonds fell over the
wrist of his glove. A tremor of surprise
shivered over the school-girl party, and this
was quickly followed by an exchange ot
eloquent glances and a buzz of comment.
"Do you suppose his girl gave him that
lovely bracelet for a Christmas present?"
whispered a fairylike blonde to the brunette
at her side.
"Well, it isn't likely his father gave it to
him," was the reply.
"Well, I just think," said another blue
eyed maiden, "that he is awfully nice to
wear it for his sweetheart There are men,
you know, who wouldn't wear a bracelet
for love. Somejellows don't think it man
ly." . i
"I wonder if he has promised never to
take it off," queried a plump minx iu the
corner.
"Why, of course, answered another.
"That's the way you always give a bracelet
If you take it off the charm is broken."
"Those are bright diamonds, aren't they,"
ventured a somewhat tragic-looking girl
who had not spoken before. "Now I ven
ture to say that bracelet cost between $200
and $300.
BOW HE SHOCKED THEM.
"Ah, there you ate mistaken, my dear
miss," exclaimed the young man who had
been quietly listening to the conversation of
the girls. "This handsome article will sell
at retail for the very-low price of 5100. Al
low me to pass to yon each one of my busi
ness cards, I assure you that we sell all ar
ticles of jewelry ata much lower figure than
Tiffany or any of the other big dealers.
Call in at any time and buy a bracelet for
your favorite young men. They are all the
go now, really. Ta ta, girls."
Tbe young man had been passing before
the girls as he spoke tossing a ca'rd in each
lap as be went When he bad supplied all
he minced lightly down the aisle of the car
to the platform and hopped to the pavement.
"Well, I declare," exclaimed the prettiest
of all the blondes, gasping for breath. "He
isn't wearing that bracelet for love at all.
He wants to sell tire horrid thing. What
dreadfully vulgar men there are in the
world."
A new Industry for indigent gentlewomen
is surely gaining ground with us. It is, more
over, an American' invention, so to speak,
and quite unlike the English which failed
to find footing here in the person of a woman
who came over from London to do the fam
ily spanking for our Four Hundred. We
can do our own spanking, but our family
mending, our buttons, aud button holes,
our laces, and silk stockings, need looking
after. At least they did previous to the for
mation of the new industry Tarn going to
tell about It was. started by a highly re
spectable widow of a clergyman, who, being
left in straitened circumstances, and having
been all her lite too much occupied with do
mestic and parochial work to acquire any
money-making accomplishment of the usual
sort, turned her faoility with the needle into
the means of a livelihood.
IT BEGAN WITH VISITS.
She began by going to the houses of her
personal friends for a day's visit and in
loiming the lady of tbe mansion that she
had brought her thimble, offered to sew on
buttons, repair frayed buttonholes, and the
like, while they chatted. She plied her
needle so effectively that her services were
soon sought for by, overtaxed, or indolent, or
philanthropieally inclined matrons. It was
not long before she had all she could do,
later on more than she could do, and later
till she brought) several assistants women
) situated as she had been Into the work.and
now am 'jKejfluo MaiucmtiTe bntiBMi.
' 1890.
Yon may often see her, or one of her corps
of assistants on her way to the day's mend
ing or repairing, but you will see nothing
less than a well-dressed gentlewoman
looking as it she were going to spend the
day with a friend. You would never
imagine that the buttons and strings, the
frills and laces, tbe stockings and gloyes of
a hundred families depend on her for their
beautiful completeness, but such is the case.
She can repair a lace flounce which has
suffered from an awkward masculine foot, as
no lady's maid that was ever born can do.
I saw one, where her needle had thrown an
exquisite fern leaf over the darn, that the
owner declared was the prettiest figure in
the whole fabric. Of course work like that
commands a price, and her pleasant rooms,
the air of plenty and refinement about every
ting indicate that she gets it When asked
how she ever thought of the unique scheme
for earning her living she said:
"Many years ago, when my children were
small and my husband's salary not the
largest, my burdens were often lightened by
a dear old lady in the parish who made it a
practice of coming to the parsonage once a
month for a day of mending and repairing.
It was a love offering from her to her minis
ter and his family. When I was left alone,
with plenty of time and no money, it oc
curred to me that I might, turn an honest
penny by serving others, who could afford td
pay for the service, in a similar way. And,
you see, I have succeeded, both for mvself
and for them, for no family that I Lave
once put on my list of patrons has ever
dropped out."
A DOUBLE-EAGLE'S SECEET.
Whenever a certain young lady that I
know took out her purse, 1 noticed that it
held a $20 gold piece. One day I ventured
to inquire whv it was she al ways went about
accompanied by such a large piece of money.
A gentle blush rose to her pretty face, 'as
she took the gold coin from her purse. She
gazed fondly at the money as it lay gleam
ing on her palm, and said, with an aston
ishing amount of 'emotion in her voice:
"Nothing could buy that twenty dollars
from me."
"But," said I, "twenty dollars are pre
cisely twenty dollars no more. I suppose
a history might place an additional value
on a gold piece. Tell me, now, what is
the history of that priceless coin ?"
The fair young creature gazed at the
money for another moment in silence, and
then, to my deep surprise, the top of the
coin flew up like the cover of a watch, and
within the rim of the lower section I discov
ered a tinted portrait of a very handsome
Soung man. Shetlifted the portrait to her
ps.
"Oh, It is he, is it" I said. "Well, now
that's awfully nice. But isn't it a bit care
less to carry him in your purse. Snppose
you should give him to a horse car con
ductor by mistake some day.
"Yes, I had tholgbt of that," replied the
$20 young man's sweetheart, "and so I am
going to the jewelers to have him pnt on a
chain."
"What for?" asked L
"Why, to wear him, of course."
Claea Belle.
A MILLIONAIRESS' TRUNK8.
Mr. C. P. Hontincton's Foreign Frnra-
mery Makes a Little Mix.
New York Tlmes.l
Collis P. Huntington and his wife re
turned from Europe several weeks ago.
When the millionaire ran fonl of the Cus
tom House officials he made this declara
tion: "I have returned with only personal
apparel."
He forgot to say anything about the great
quantities of personal property which Mrs.
Huntington had accumulated during
various shopping tours in Paris and Lon
don. So when the inspectors, with Mr.
Huntington's brief and simple declaration
in theirpossesion, got a look at the pile of
trunks, they thought Mr. Huntington had
made an error, and when they opened the
trunks and saw the contents they were sure
that he bad, for there they saw bonnets and
ribbons and hosiery, and many other arti
cles that certainly could form no part of a
gentleman's wardrobe.
: They sought Mr. Huntington, and the re
sult has been that Mr. Huntington has
traveled fro m his office to the Custom House
and back again many times. Now he will
either have to pay $200 duties, or Mrs.
Huntington will have to go down and make
a declaration of herown. Probably she will
do that
LUCKI BE WAS IN DEBT.
A Tenth Failed Oat of the Water Became
' He Owes 50 Cents.
Milwaukee Wisconsin.
"I always laugh," relates an old resi
dent, "when I remember an experience I
had when a boy. I lived in the country,
and one day another boy and myself had
occasion to go to town. He owed me 0
cents, and was to pay me when we reached
town, where he intended to iet
change for $L In going to town we
had to cross a creek. It was early in
winter, and the ice was strong enough
to hold me, but he was a great
deal heavier, and in following me be broke
through. .Heat once began to yell and
scramble for dear life. The water was quite
deep and he was in considerable dancer. I
worked with might and main for 15 or 20
minutes and finally succeeded in pulling
him out
" 'By Jove,' I exclaimed, as I puffed and
panted after my exertion, 'it was a pretty
tough job getting you out of that creek.
" 'Yes, gol darn it,' he replied, 'and you
wouldn't have done it if I hadn't owed you
SO cents. "
CAEEIED MONET IN BIS EAR.
X Merry Son of Ham AitonUhes Brooklyn
Street Car Passenger.
New York Herald.
A middle aged colored man entered a
Brooklyn car tbe other evening with a bas
ket containing wine in his hand, evidently
sent to make a delivery. He seemed to
have sampled it freely before starting ont,
for he was in excellent hnmor. He man
aged to get a seat, and when the conductor
came around to collect his fare, he never
bothered about pockets or pocketbooks, but
simply placed his hand on one ot his capa
cious ears aud drew forth the shining nickel.
To say that conductor and passengers were
surprised puts it mildly. The conductor
on recovering himself thereupon remarked,
"Why do toU carry your money there, Cap
tain?" "'Cause it's haudy, sir," replied
the son of Ham, and the passengers all
laughed at the wrinkle in money pouches.
It was observed that he carried another
nickel in the .other ear.
Vaccination on lbs Leg.
Frosjf the Medical Circular.
A French practitioner, in the course of a
large number of revacci nations, was struck
with the fact that the operation was far
more successful when performed on the leg
than when tbe arm was selected. Among
177 cases tbe percentage of failures was
45.45 on the leg, as compared with 3.84 on
the arm.
j
Tt Will Not be the Ice Man.
Fhlladclnnia Ledger.
There are the usual complaints from the
ice men, who, even in New England, have
notyetbegnn to cut ice. But their time
is pretty sure to come, and in the end it will
be the consumer, if anybody, who is made
to suffer.
Never in tbe Wide, Wide World.
Kansas City Star.l
,ASt. Joseph woman has suedfor a di
vorce, setting forth in her petition that her
husband has not spoken a word to her in six
months. X man would never ask for sepa
tion from his wife on such grounds.
A Great Acaalrement.
Philadelphia Beoord.
A bright young pupil of the Lincoln
school, who was being praised for her spell
ing, pointed to her sister, Mylng; "She's
aa awful good -anthmaticksrli'
A UNIQUE MACHINE
To lw Used ia the Compilation of
Census Statistics.
HOW HOSES WILL BE COUHTED.
The Peculiar Winter Weather and Its
Meet Upon Tish Life.
SCIT1P1C 5CEAES OP MUCH 1STEEEST
rpBXPABXP TOB THE DISPATCH ST WASHEKJTOX
SCIENTISTS.
The organization of the Census Office and
the work of preparation for the great decen
nial account of stock is going forward
rapidly. Nearly all of the office divisions
have been organized; besrde those relating
merely to the machinery of the office. These
are as follows: Population, agriculture,
manufactures, transportation, finance, edu
cation, mortality, tbe defective, delinquent
and dependent classes fisheries, mineral
products, tbe press, forestry, Indians.
The subdivision of the country into super
visors' districts has been made, and a bulle
tin announcing them has recently been pub
lished. A form of schedule has been adopted
for the, population returns. This is what is
known as the "family schedule," upon
which one family only will be entered upon
a sheet, and it is proposed to use it to a large
extent as a prior schedule, to be left at
houses in advance, that it may be filled at
leisure by the head of the family. This
marks a distinct advance upon methods
used in United States censuses.
It has been decided to use in the compila
tion, of the Statistics of Population, the
Hollerith Electric Tabulation Machine. In
this machine, the information regarding
each individual, age. sex, nativity, parents'
nativity, race, occupation, etc., are expressed
by holes punched in certain positions upon
cards, each card representing an individual.
The work or tabulation is effected by a press
which mattes electric connection through
the punched holes and registers on dials.
By suitable connection of wires, any com
bination may be secured and the labor of
making even the most complicated combi
nation is trifling, in comnarison with meth
ods heretofore in use. The employment of
this machine makes it possible to deduce
from the population schedules all the inform
ation which it is at all desirable to obtain,
while, as well known, much of the inform
ation heretoiore gathered has been lost, ow
ing to the great expense involved in the
mere compilation.
Welgbt and Measure Standards.
The United States, as a member of the
International Metric Bureau, is entitled to
certified copies of the standards of weight
and measure. Many experiments have been
made during the past few years upon a great
variety of metals and alloys for the purpose
of obtaining a substance whose molecular
structure can be relied upon. That is, it by
any accident tbe temperature should vary
considerably from tbe standard tempera
ture, there would result no change when the
normal temperature Is again reached.
As is well known, an alloy of platinum
and irridium was decided upon. The ques
tion of shape for the standard meter was
difficult to decide, bnt finally preference
was given to a cross-section like the letter X,
with the spaces between the arms partially
filled, causing the bar to look like four
troughs. Many delays have been experi
enced in the preparation and delivery of the
standards, so that our Government has re
ceived its share within the past week. They
came securely and carefully packed in
boxes sealed with the seal of the Interna
tional Bureau. The breaking of this seal
was done by the President in the presence
of the Secretaries of State and of the Treas
ury, all of whom signed a parchment docu
ment certifying that the seals were found
intact A copy of this certificate remains
with the standards while another is sent to
tbe bureau as a receipt. The Coast and
Geodetic Survey is by law the custodian of
all standards of weight and measures.
A Qaalnt Collection.
''Money is your suit," but what did men
do long ago for this indispensable medium
of exchange before coin was invented? Dr.
B. E. C. Stearns, of the United States Geo
logical Survey, answered this question in
.an unique manner before the American
Historical Association at its late meeting in
Washington. In the rear of the lecture
room was a handsome ebony case filled with
shells and labeled, and in the midst of them
a pamphlet entitled "Ethno Coochology: A
study of primitive money." This delicbtful
brochure, published by the Smithsonian In
stitution, is profusely illustrated with fizures
of all the shells known to have furnished
material for aboriginal cash in various parts
of the world.
Scraps From Scientific Sources.
The rainfall for Washington during the
month of December was only thirty-nine hun
dredths ot an inch. For the entire eastern
section of tbe United States tbe fall was from
80 to SO per cent below tbe normal.
The Fish Commission schooner Grampus is
abont to receive on board a capstan, to be used
either by steam or band to banl tbe beard trawl
in order to demonstrate whether or not this
appliance can be used profitably in tbe com
mercial fisheries.
It is reported from the Iowa Agricultural
Experiment Station that Prof. G. E. Patrick,
chemist of that station, has invented a rapid
and accurate process of determining tbe butter,
fat in milk. An account of this new process
will shortly be published in a Bulletin of tbe
station.
. Mb. Moonet, of the Bureau of Ethnology,
bas secured a manuscript book written in
Cherokee, describing all tbe mystic rites and
prayers used by tbe Cberokes priests on their
festival or religions occasions. Tba book was
prepared by some of tho priests for their own
use long ago, so that it is more authentic than
if madi to order. It is being translated, and
will, perhaps, soon be published.
Tbe surreys ot tbe United States Geological
Survey in Southern Kansas daring tho past
season nave developed tbe tact tbattheArkan
sas in that State, like the Mississippi and other
streams in the alluvial region, Sows upon a
ridge of its own building a ridge some 50 or
more feet above the surrounding country. Tbe
same is tbe case with tho Platte, in Nebraska,
whose ridge is fully lOOfeet above thnadjacent
country.
Ilhas been found that some of the streams
and lakes or California contain such quantities
of alkaline salts as to render their waters unfit
for use in Irrigation. It is now proposed to
drain otf lake Tulare, which was once looked
upon as a great natural reservoir for irrigation
canals. This scheme also includes tbe reclama
tion or the "alkali lands," constituting tbe
basin of tbe lake, aa area nearly as large as
tbat of Massachusetts.
The Pirector of tbe United States Geological
Survey has decided to prosecute topographic
work dnring tbe winter in Southern Louisiana,
with tbe ultimate purpose of surveying the en
tire alluvial region of the Mississippi. The
scale to De used is 1:62500, and tbe contour in
terval, five feet Much work m this region has
already been done bv the United States Coast
and Geodetic Snrver and tbe Mississippi River
Commission. The work proposed Is an, areal
extension of that already done. The party will
start early in Jannary.
The warm weatber has even affected fish
life. The temperature of the water, usually
from 33 to S7 F; at this season, islntbeforties.
and occasionally above. The handllne flsb,
contrary to tbe general experience, contain no
eggs, while the cod bave very few. Young
herring, called "spurting" by the fishermen,
which generally leave the coast early in De
cember, are still present, and schools of mack
erel bave not left tbe coast ot Maine. Somo of
tbe Prorincetown gill-netters have not yet
taken In their-nets, hoping that tbe mackerel
may strike Into Barnstable Bay.
Wbr tbe West Is Happy.
Detroit Tree rress.i
"We don't believe that oyer a dozea men
have fron to death in this country thus far,
this winter," complacently observes the
Montana Eagle, "and we were thinking the
other day of how blesjed we were that not a
single saloon in the town had failed ia busi
ness during the past year," ,
PATE OP P0DR MILLION PISHES.-
- ', f
Flood'a Hivoc With a Washington 'Hatefc"
erj Tbo Innocent Goldflibv
The fish hatchery at the base of the Wash
ington Monument has been in mourning ever
since last spring. And no wonder, consid
ing that the floods of tbat direfnl season
swept no fewer than 4,000,000 youthful
fishes oat of the peaceful nursery ponds Into
the raging waters of tbe Potomac
Ja the annals of fish culture no
such disaster has previously been recorded.
In the waters that overwhelmed Johnstown
thousands were lost, but how feebly does
tbat unpleasant accident compare with thir
catastrophe, by which millions of innocent
creatures, as yet too young to know their
dorsal from their ventral fins, were engulfed
in an irresistible torrent rushing toward the
sea. The shad were all right, ot course. But
tbe goldfish alas! What surmise is to be
entertained as to their fate? "With only too
much certainty can it be guessed at. For,
yon see, the goldfish has been domesticated
for so many thousands of generations in
China and Japan before being brought
hither that he no longer knows his enemies.
Put into a stream and left to go on his own
guileless hook, he will wriggle along, happy
abd unsuspecting of evil, never taking the
trouble to dodge behind a stone when he
sees a big' fish, until a wide-mouthed
monster comes along, and, without
stopping to shout "Look at the doorl" takes
the gilded youth in at a mouthful. As for
the exceptionally swell Japanese three
tailed goldfish a freak of nature improved
upon by artificial selection it is, like a
China woman, so fashionable tbat it can
hardly locomote, and furnishes, with its
brilliant color and waving caudal fins, a
most attractive and helpless bait for the
finny deep water pirates and cannibals. It
would be quite safe to bet that, ot the 100,
000 goldfish tbat escaped flora the ponds last
spring, not one is now alive.
But by the time that the robins have
nested again the ponds near the monument
will once more be agleam with the shiny
sides of carp and shad, for in May the
hatching time will have arrived, when seine
nets yawn and fish give up their eggs for
artificial inenbation in glass jars. Then the
new-born "fry" will be thrown by myriads
into the pools to grow up as fast as they
know how, so that when they are big
enough they may be disposed of where they
will do the most good in American waters.
THE BEST WEARING LEATHER.
It is Mnde From tbe OToscalar Skins of
none Not Fibrous.
St, Lonls Bepnbllc.I
But very few people who wear Cordovan
shoes have any idea where the leather bear
ing that name comes from, hence the ques
tion is often asked, "What is Cordovan?"
"Cordovan," the name by which leather
made from the bides of horses is now known,
was first finished in Hamburg, Germany,
under the name of Boss leather. In com
bination with it tbe hide has four layers of
muscular skins whieh, with the "shell,"
give to the horse tbe great and tremendous
pulling power that makes the animal so
serviceable to mankind.
This "shell," if properly tanned and
shaven clean of its sinewy matter a most
difficult task makes the best wearing
leather in existence, and proves the theory
of old-time shoemakers that only leather
of a long fiber will wear to be a mistaken
one, as the "shell" has no fiber. In this it
has a decided advantage over cal'skin with
its fibres; the bieaking of any one throws
additional strain upon the other, and a ,
break in the leather soon follows.
Experience has demonstrated that the
"shell" will wear two or three times longer
than calfskin. Cordovan possesses another
great advantage in being the nearest water
proof of any leather made. The fineness of
texture also permits its taking a very high
polish.
A5 IKTEEESTIXS TETEEA5.
General Daniel E. blckle Is an Important
Flcnre'ln Nrw York. .,
General Daniel E. Sickles, who has -jusf
been removed by Governor Hill from the
office of Chairman of the State Civil Service
Commission, lives in a big apartment at 23
Fifth avenue, says the New York corre
spondent of the Chicago Eerald. There ho
is surrounded by seven maimed veterans of
Chancellor Hill, all of whom he bas kept
about him for a long time past. These men
are fellow members with General Sickles of
the Grand Army of the Bepublic, and he
finds for them light employment of one kind
and another. The General was very much
attached to his place as Chairman of the
Civil Service Commission; not because of
the salary attached tothe office because he
is a rich man but for the reason that ho
rather liked the distinction tbat it conferred.
He goes out a good deal in social circles,
especially to informal or family dinners.
There he is the center of attraction. He
talks well, and is considered a good listener.
His reminiscences of the war are far more
interesting than is common even with men
that cut so prominent a figure as he did. In
spite of tbe loss of bis leg at Gettysburg,
the General is a lively and wonderfully pre
served man, and he gets about with a most
surprising facility. ,
THIS BEMAKEABLE WEATHEB,
A Sad Sea Dor's Explanation of 8 Terr
Peculiar Phenomenon.
New York Herald.
The old salts down at quarantine have &
new nut to crack. A few days ago the body
of a drowned man came ashore near the
Health Officer's pier. Those who found it
were surprised to notice how fresh it looked,
and when they came to search tbe pockets
they found a copy of a newspaper dated the
day before. Now, a newly drowned body is
considerably heavier than water, and the old
salts are puzzled to know how this particular
corpse was floated in so soon alter death.
There is something of a set in the tide toward
the wharf, but it is doubted whether it la
sufficient to explain this phenomenon.
"I tell you what," said one old salt,
shaking his head ominously, '-it's the
weatber. Somethin's goin' to 'appen with
this old world. Things isn't what they
used ter be, what with, yer grip and influ
enzy an' floatin' corpses and all that, Xootc
at this here winter now. Did yer ever see
the like? It's a mighty queer tinre this,
and I wouldn't be s'prised at nothia' as
happens."
Now, then, wise men, here is ,a nut for
you to crack. Give us the science of the
floating corpse.
EHI1IE FOR THE NEW TEAR.
Two Editor Back Tbelr Brains Over It . ,
With Sorry Remits.
Detroit Free Press.
The New York Tribune is despondent
over the advent of the New Year, because)
there is no rhyme for it. "There was noth
ing easier," it says, "than to find rhymes
for '89;' and it mentions a dozen. But .
for '90 it. cannot find "as many
as one good one," and in default
thereof It publishes a bit of doggerel
in which the combination "fine tea ' is made,
to serve imperfectlr. as it admits the de
sired purpose. The Tribune is unjust. The
English language, we admit, is tolerably
neir the verge ot pauperism in the respect
referred to, bnt it'is not wholly destitute.
What is the matter, for instance, with
this?
Bight royally and gladly, too.
We welcome eighteen ninety.
Although bad weather and tbe ihew
Matiz have made us "jinty." , ,,-
Every Do Has Its Day. ,
Detroit rreeFress.i f 4
Hav fever was once a fashionable disease,, ..$
but it is now never mentioned In polite soi fv
ciety. The cruel fickleness with whjciit i
3J
society abandons an oio. iaroriie wnen
.... .1. . i?l